The new opening credits for the Real Housewives of Orange County  have a new flavor of delusional bullshit rolling out of these Bitches blow-job hole.

Vickie

“I love my family, I love my work, I love my life”Which really means I’m a ragin control freak  in every area of my life and if these assholes don’t listen to me and do what I say, I’m going ape shit on their ass.

Jeana

“Money is a girls best friend, I love friends” For real Bitch? Then yo’ ass needs to go get a job, at Target or shoveling shit like that other ho’ Kim said she was gonna do. Cause’ yo’ ass don’t have any friends right now!

Gretchen

“I’m smart, I’m sexy and I’m confident. Of course people are gonna talk about me”No Bitch, the reason people talk about you’r skanky ass, is because you’re a raging famewhore, people talk about all of you. You’re on a reality TV show you are all pinatas. That’s what you signed up for.

Lynne

“It’s not about how much money you have,   it’s about how good you look spending it” Really? Really Bitch? so you admit your ass is one paycheck away from being homeless but who gives a shit right? As long as your the hottest ho’ in the homeless shelter. What intelligent advice rolls out of Lynne’s mouth.

Tamra

“Housewifes come younger but they dont come hotter” Just give up Tamra. You have not found the Vampires blood yet that makes you stay 20 forever when you find it then you can talk some shit. Pobrecita!

We start out with Vicki jumping out of a plane because she is the only house ho’ that can afford to spend money on fun shit. But Vicki could not get the whoo hoo out that she wanted.

Jeana apologizes to her son Colton for fucking up his car and tells him he better go to the welfare office to handle their financial issues. Colton tells her to quit spending money on bullshit stuff like $400 dollar lunches because he is tired of collecting cans to help pay for Jeana’s high end lifestyle.

Since the real state market fell off a cliff, Jeana’s income took a huge dent right up the ass so now she can no longer afford her previous lavish lifestyle and is selling her huge house getting ready for the trailer park. Didn’t any of these people save any money in the bank when they were rolling in it? Oh yeah, I forgot they were all blowing their money on frivolous bullshit, that  they didn’t need to impress everyone else.

Since the real paparazzi refused to show up at Tamra’s house because they don’t give a shit about what she is doing. Tamra had to come up with her own team of paparazzi clowns to photograph a fake event at her house. Because of all the negative attention, ridicule and gossip focusing on the Barneys financial situation Simon decided that he doesn’t like Tamra and his family be on national TV; and it finally dawned upon him what a bad idea it was to let Tamra be on this ridiculous reality fame-whore TV show  in the first place. So now, suddenly Simon is all private and doesn’t like Tamra saying ghetto ass shit like” tea bag” . Tamra tells Simon to relax and have a shot of tequila but it just gets worse he doesn’t seem to like Tamra too much these days. Tamra says they are heading towards divorce.

It’s the perfect Melrose place, the guy dates everybody in the block.

Gretchen is running around in her underwear outside her garage and screaming she don’t know what to do with all the shit she pack- rat from all her wild shopping sprees. I notice this season Gretchen is using her cuter  innocent voice and she is exaggerating it more to sound more adorable.Her head also looks bigger this season! Literally, getting a big head are the results of holding the title of hottest housewife. I am just pointing the obvious. This is were they introduce Slade Slimey.

She plays the grieving fiancee again turns on the water works, suddenly she throws her hands up in the air laughs with a sinister villain laugh and says that it is time to reevaluate everything in her life, start cleaning that house and throw out all of Jeff’s stuff and get the old man smell out of the house to ‘revamp‘ her life and move on.

She stuff a trash can with Jeffs shirts throws some gasoline on it and lights up a match, Slimey comes up from behind to assist her; then Gretchen starts singing “happy days are here again!”

Gretchen explains in the most adorable innocent Anna Nicole voice how all of the sudden she literally woke up naked in her bed and she was dating Slimey. She acts all cute and surprised and squeals “why are we dating?” Then she says she thinks it’s so funny that Slimey dated other House Ho’s before. Gretchen says that she stole Slimey from Jo’ the Ho’ to prove she can do it. Gretchen says that Slimey and Lauri’s relationship wasn’t really a relationship because Lauri is a wax mummy.

Gretchen rationalizes as she explains that Slimey was there for her  to pork comfort her through Jeff’s passing and possibly through his illness too.  She admits it in a professional Orange County hooker shady way that Slade may, or may not of started dating her six months before Jeff’s death, right after she may or may not of installed a douchebag revolving door for all the dick that was coming in and out of her busy exciting life.

Slimey also talks all ‘cutsie’ and innocent and says if they leave the garage door open all that  old junk that smells like a vault from 1952 would be gone. What an adorable couple of shitheads.

Slimey doesn’t own a razor and he has not showered in days, I can smell him through the TV and it’s not a pretty smell. Slimey and Gretchie play the happy young couple and are the worst actors EVER!

Slimey just can’t wait to ride that motorcycle that Gretchen got for him from Jeff. Slade always wanted a Barbie red bike.

“I truly believe Jeff brought me Slade” I bet he brought you Slade Bitch. That way he can be in Heaven laughing at yo’ ass while Slade drains you out of the money Jeff left you in his will. Only a Bitch with bad Karma would date Slade Slimey.

Gretchen goes on to say that Slimey may be her future husband and father of her children even though he don’t like spending time with the children he has now. Specially his sick child.

Gretchen keeps saying that her and Slimey are just dating. I didn’t know that dating means they shack up together and she supports him since he is jobless.

Lynne is pretending to work and hiring a lot of help to assist her with her cuffs of whore business she brags that she has a website and she sold one cuff to some lady in Australia. Yes people one cuff, she spends 20k in marketing and makes $300.00 in one cuff she is going global.

Lynne has to also reluctantly admit that her husband’s Frank business sucked this past year due to the bastard economy, and they  also have one foot in the welfare office.

Lynne decides she is going to throw a party at the St. Regis 5 star hotel and spend another 40k to throw a trunk show.

Vicki and Don are getting it on again because they decided they are too old to look for other people; and also Don is filling up Vicki’s love tank better this year since Dr. Tenincher prescribed Don with some Viagra.

Vicki thanks Don for not being a controlling husband like Simon is with Tamra and says that if Don was controlling she would have to be a lesbian and that just wouldn’t work for her because she doesn’t like the smell of tuna carpet. Don is dissapointed Vicki doesn’t like carpet, and says he would like Vicki to be a lesbian, so he can watch her in action; specially with their  young hot maid Rosita who happens to be off that day. Yeap that’s a man for you!

Don says to the camera “Last year Vicki was kinda rough on me” Really Don? You don’t say. What is that gash next to his right eye? Was that Vicki getting rough with Don again? Yeah well, it is what it is.

Vicky meets with Tamra to show off her expensive 6 1/2 Carat ring that Don bought her.  Tamra tries to pretend her and Vicki are still best friends even thought Vicki doesn’t want to hang out with Tamra that much anymore because Tamra is a broke ass.

Vicki and Don’s marriage is happy again now that Vicki cut down on the beatings . Tamra is jealous of that, and of Vicki’s new ring also; she tells Vicki “you guys are doing good” which means she really wants to throw that drink on that Bitches face, but just tolerates hanging out with her just in case she needs to borrow money like Jeana tried to do. Vicki  laughs at Tamra for being poor and jealous  and enjoys flaunting her ring and love-tank filling  marriage on Tamra’s face.

Because of all the gossip on the media and the blogs (including this one) got out of hand with all the gossip of Tamra’s financial situation, like when Simon lost his job and all the money struggles they had since; causing them to lose their home Tamra had no choice but to sort of admit they are broke asses and will soon have to apply for public assistance all this financial diarrhea their in is also causing problems in their marriage but of course we all knew this shit already, we were just waiting for this ho’ to admit that, and she sort of did when she said “Not having the money that we had  and stressing has caused a lot of tension between Simon and I… a lot” Did ya’ all noticed how it was hard for her to admit they’re broke asses?(check out this link from back then)

Vicki tells Tamra that Jeana is also a broke ass who tried to borrow money from her a couple of months ago and when Vicki said no, she never heard from her. Then the conversation moves on to our favorite ho’ Gretchen.

Holly Mother of Gynecology! Who has a vibrator with a cord? I thought we all have a rabbit by now!

A Bitch can accidentally get electrocuted with a dildo with a cord. Gretchen better be careful!

Tamra tells Vicki about all the Internet dildo and toilet modeling naked pictures of Gretchen all over the Internet. Vicki tries to act surprised like she hasn’t seen that shit but we all know she did, everyone did. I don’t know why Tamra acts all shocked about the Gretchen naked pictures. What was she  expecting  to come from a gutter ho’ like Gretchen? Those photos where predictable.
Vicki says she is classier than Gretchie because on Vicki’s Internet pictures she just has a guy tattooing her bare ass not sticking a dildo in it.

Vicki also says that Slade Slimey is a creepy douchebag who is whoring Gretchen out for publicity to help him become the number one reality attention whore douche bag and out fame- whore Jon Gosselin.

Slade Slimey:“bagged 3 housewives, you may be next baby”Tamra warns  Vicki to be careful with Slimey or she may wake up with a Slimey dick in her face   and Vicki says “euuggh!” I’m sorry about that… that was disgusting.

Tamra and Lynne are friends now so they work out together and they show a boring segment of them working out..ZZZZ… I’m awake! Sorry dosed off for a minute there. Ok, Lynne tells Tamra a secret while on camera that she is skipping her rent this month and going for an appointment with a plastic surgeon to fix the turkey neck and leather boot face she has going on. Tamra says the sooner the better.

Next we see more of Gretchen playing the grieving fiancee she gets in her car and drives to the beach to take her children for a walk. She has to drive to the beach? I just walk across. Pobrecita!

Gretchen turns on the waterworks for the camera one more time and this time she talks about the naked toilet-modeling dildo pictures that the Dirty posted and cries and says this is how she was grieving Jeff.

Notice how now this ho’ also had no choice but to reluctantly admit that she did take these photos after Jeff died and before she was denying it. All these faux house ho’s always think they can lie and when they get caught they have no choice but to admit their scandalous behavior, while they desperately sugar coat the shit out of it.

Notice how she rationalizes and twists everything to play innocent grieving victim. Really Bitch? that’s how you were grieving? I have never EVER met anyone who grieves on a lover by taking pictures while being naked, joining dildo orgies and going number 2 while wiping front wards. WOW!

Poor innocent Gretchen that’s how she mourned for Jeff that is such an innocent way to mourn a fiancee that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Makes sense now, yes I am conviced Gretchie!

Jeff send Gretchen Slimey and he also wanted Gretchen to keep half of Jeff’s ashes because Jeff wanted her to have them.  That way he can haunt the shit out of her and Slimey. This was all part of Jeff’s evil plan beyond the grave to torment Gretchen; and it is coming together nicely. MUA HA HA!

Lynne is whoring her daughter out and makes her walk the corner in a bikini for 10 dollars and hour. What the fuck was that? That was disturbing! Really Lynne? If my kid did that I would of dragged her ass by her hair inside the store and made her put some clothes on.

Tamra tells her unhappy husband Simon she is going the trunk show at the St. Regis. Simon tells her to cover her cleavage and asks her how she walks in those hooker medieval torture devices. Damn! This dude really acts like he can’t stand her!

All the Bitches end up at the St. Regis for Lynne’s cuff of whore trunk show that really should of taken place at the Santa Ana swap meet while Kim sang “Don’t be tardy for the Party” on a karaoke machine. Lynne would of made more money that way.

Gretchen’s head looks more big and tranni this season, what’s up with that? She is still cute looking but with a big huge head.

Tamra and Vicki continue to be jealous of Gretchen because she looks tranni drop dead gorgeous. These Bitches need to get themselves some self esteem and stop being jealous of a ho’ that’s just gonna end up revealing her bad Karma in a minute here, just like it happened to them since they being on the show. Jeana said it best when she said “just bitch slap each other and get it over with”.

None of the Bitches like the cuffs Lynne is selling and no one buys anything, the only thing that happens is that Tamra ends up arguing with Gretchen again over the same tired bullshit.

Gretchen accuses Tamra of going to the press to talk shit about her good character. Tamra says she is tired of Gretchen looking good and making Tamra look like the asshole.

Both Bitches are WRONG! First Tamra is wrong for being an insecure ho’ and letting Gretchen make her jelaous and make her look like a hag and then Gretchen is wrong for enjoying it, and being a raging attention fame-whore who likes to shit on people! Both Bitches should really put down the hate hatchet since their both are a lot a like and are both gonna end up looking like hags, since I doubt they know were to get vampire blood that makes you look like you’re 20 forever.

Tamra yells at Gretchen and tells Gretchen “you have a bad reputation, a horrible horrible reputation” Tamra also says she don’t want to be part of her fuckery or be associated with the hooker of Orange County. Gretchen yells “who cares”.

Tamra is ready to trow down trailer park style and says “Bring it on” Jeana scolds Tamra “Tamra that’s not productive” Tamra yells “productive for what? I don’t do it Jeana! Are you buying her BULLSHIT!?”. HA, HA, HA, HA! Tamra just lets Gretchen win that ho’ don’t know how to control her emotions and allows her jealousy and insecurity to just pour through her actions; Tamra gets all emotional and angry and loses the fight. AGAIN!

More yelling continues between Gretchen and Tamra. I was hoping they would handle this shit the right way and start pulling each others wigs out or Tamra flip the table; but NOOO! Tamra just continues to make herself look crazy while Gretchen enjoys every minute of it. Tamra has not learned to just let Gretchen prance in her hooker stilettos until she falls on her face and eat shit, it will eventually happen because it is bound to, just like it happened to Tamra, all these Bitches have and expiration date. Jeana of course defends Gretchen because old ho’s have to stick up for each other.

Gretchen finally tells Tamra to “shut the fuck up”. Tamra is more than likely gonna shut the fuck up because she doesn’t have the balls to fly across the table and pull Gretchen’s tranni wig off and punch her in the Adam’s apple.

To Be Continued…

Check out this video with Tamra and the new House-Ho’ Alexis Bellino where they discuss the fact that Gretchen Rossi is the hooker of Orange County who is dating Slimey who is the 6th House Ho’ . Tamra has to finally admit that her and Simon have money problems which is causing them to hate each other.

Check out this video:

Earlier this week Gretchen Rossi was ordered to pay ex-boyfriend Jay Photoglou the sum of 20k for wasting everyone’s time and not bothering to show up to  for a schedule court date in the ongoing saga of Gretchen Vs Jay the drama continues.

Gretchen probably thought that since she is Gretchen Rossi the breath of fresh air and mourning Mother Teresa, she is untouchable and not showing up to a court date would not affect her in any negative way. WRONG!

Here is the original article by Radaronline:

Real Housewives of Orange County star Gretchen Rossi has been ordered to pay the attorney fees of her ex-boyfriend, Jay Photoglou.

Gretchen Rossi Court Order

Photoglou racked up fees of around $19k defending himself against a restraining order Rossi filed against him earlier this year. A judge dismissed the order in May, with prejudice.

Photoglou’s attorney claimed in earlier papers that the lawsuit was frivolous and that Rossi had filed for a restraining order only to protect her lies on the show about being engaged to an older man.

Attorney Claims Rossi Filed For TRO To Cover Up Lie

Slade Slimey owes his baby mamma approximately $80 thousand dollars in child support and the most fucked up part is that his son Grayson has a jacked up life threatening brain tumor and Slimey has only visited him a couple of times in the past year according to the baby mamma who cares for their son on her own. Slimey’s spoke person says that Slimey is a dead beat and a broke ass and can’t make the payments.

Click here for the letter send to Slimey’s ex wife from the Department of Child Support Services.(Source TMZ)

Here is Slimey being a broke ass while he tries to plug Gretchen from behind on a boat:

This is how Gretchen mourns Jeffs death and Slimey deals with his child support issues and son’s illness.

Here is Slimey being a broke ass while he relaxes in the sun at the beach with Gretchen and asks her for $5.00 dollars to go ride the Ferris wheel.

Wait a minute I thought that Slimey was in Gretchens payroll for the giggolo position? I thought that Bitch got $2.5 million from Pappa Money Bags in the will? Can’t she give Slimey an advance of $80k on his allowance?

Since Gretchen is supposedly such a caring loving soul and a breath of fresh air who absolutely was not with Jeff Beitzel for the money or for any gold-digging greedy fuckery I am sure that she will rush to help out her paid boyfriend Slimey, if not for Slimey but for the baby.  HA HA HA! YEAH, RIGHT!

If Slimey was smart and was trying to play broke ass  to avoid paying $80k in child support he would of fallen off the grid and not be found; but since he suffers from Attention Whore Personality Disorder he can’t help but be a raging famewhore who constantly needs attention and  cameras and the limelight in his face while he partys  it up with Gretchen. Boy for a broke ass he sure has fun. Wouldn’t that be funny if the Judges appointed to his child support case watch the OC Housewives and read all the gossip. Oh the hilarity!

Well it looks like Sheree’s ex says he is a mad scientist who put that nose and those tits  on Sheree, because she did not come with them. Bob Whitfield states he created a monster that he put together from devil worshiping dead whore parts; that he payed for!

Bride of Frankenstein Sheree

Here is a picture of Sheree looking hot,after her first boob and nose job when Bob did some crazy surgery shit on her. Bob states he made Sheree the flawless hot tranni mess she is today. Bob also says that Sheree is a porn star who did sex tapes with him while they were married! While they were married? Who gives a shit about that, everybody that is married has at least one of those sex tapes floating around; so who gives a rats ass. Nice try thought, Bob.

If Bob releases this so called sex tape it will just help Sheree sell more of those awful clothes of hers.

Listen to Bob’s interview below from Radaronline:

When Bob said that he created a monster I just had a picture in my head of Sheree looking like the Bride of Frankenstein. I been in Vegas for a few days for the Halloween extravaganza that is why I have not posted anything lately and also the reason I am still thinking of Halloween related shit, like Sheree in a Bride of Frankenstein costume. She would look good in it.

Yeap, and so it begins; these two Bitches are friends again! I guess Bravo wants us to believe the last episode was not staged and scripted! Like NeNe told Essence magazine blaming Bravo’s editing for making her look like a jealous ass this last season.

Kim also decided it was time to pull a Britney and flash everyone and their grandpapi. WARNING! . If you are reading this shit at work and you have a job that you value DO NOT click on the following link! Unless you work at a porn store and then, they won’t give a shit…

So go rigth ahead then, Click here to see the disgusting non-edited edition of Kim Zolciak’s raunchy crotch!

Gretchen Rossi is going to have to top this now; or she will lose the title of Biggest Media Whore that ever Lived.

Tamra Barney finally found someone to purchase her Tuscan style home for less than what she paid for it back in 2005. The Real Estalker reported that when the market was hot back in 2005 she paid $1,320,500 and now she found someone to buy it from her for $1,149,000. Records show the Barneys still owe $1,317,000. on the property which is more than what they can get for the house .

I want to see this Bitch continue to pretend she is rich and throw lavish, bath tub tequila, parties  and buy forty thousand dollar watches while fronting it. They better hurry up and get rich to pay the bank back  by selling that moonshine tequila.

Maybe Tamra can go door to door at the trailer park, on the first of each month when they get their welfare checks and approach the men, and shake her big fake titties at them so that they will buy more tequila. I think she should approach the old toothless guys better, they will find her very hot and men like buying tequila from hot blondes with big fake chichis. She can make a lot of money that way,  she has to put those huge plastic bowling ball titties to some use, since she can’t use them to  sell real state anymore. Just saying.

No she doesn’t stage her paparazzi photo shoots, the fucking paparazzi forced her at gunpoint here.

Two sufferers of  Attention-Whore Personality Disorder fall in love in fame-whore TV land. They are so perfect for each other.

Gretchen Rossi insist that she is not a media whore although all the other Bitches (even her so called friends Lynne and that new Bitch) from RHOC say that she is the biggest media whore that ever lived. Last week an arranged photo shoot  of her and Slimey produced some nice photographs  at the pumpkin patch  while posing for some nice proffesional photos that were done so nice and clean. Shit! I didn’t know that the pap’s carried lighting and fans around, to make the photos appear so crisps just as if she was posing for them like a model… Who knew!

According to a new exciting development, Teresa is not losing her huge Marble Castle but some little shack with linoleum floors and that is a good thing.Thank God! Now I’m happy again. It sorta bummed me out when it was believed that her huge mansion was being lost. I wanted to see more filming inside that Mansion because it is so ridiculously huge and fascinating and hopefully if this is true and Teresa is not losing her  enormous catering hall, we will get to see her throw all kinds of shit around like, rolls of  hundred dollar bills out of her ass as well as big ass lavish parties; and flip tables at Bitches that get out of hand, filmed inside that insanely huuge mansion of hers.

Here is the original article originally posted by my reader LovinlifeinNY from NJ.com

Teresa Giudice not losing dream home; ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey’ drama debunked

“Real Housewives of New Jersey” Teresa Giudice, best known for table-flipping and her free-spending ways, has not been served with foreclosure papers on her Towaco chateau, as RadarOnline.com reported Thursday.

There are foreclosure papers that say Giudice owes $127,500, but they are for a property Giudice apparently owns in Lincoln Park, a good five miles (and a couple of socioeconomic levels) away. According to records obtained by the Star-Ledger, the property in question appears to be a .47-acre piece of land (roughly the size of Giudice’s master bedroom, from what saw of the mansion last season) off Pine Brook Road. She bought the property in 2005 for $170,000, and what’s more, it’s just one in a string of properties the industrious Giudice has bought in recent years. Teresa Giudice, house flipper? Who knew.

Giudice is still happily ensconced in the lavish mansion she shared with husband Joe and her four daughters, Gia, Gabriella, Milania and newborn Audriana. Our sources also tell us that she’s already back at work filming the second season of the ratings blockbuster. Check out who else we hear is returning.

I had a gut feeling this was going to happen to Teresa! Our favorite table flipping Italian Princess is being evicted from her lavish Taj Mahal marble mansion which is being foreclose by the bank,  her husband’s money printing machine  was destroyed by a missile from the bastard economy and Joe and Teresa where too busy  farting hundreds out of their ass  like they won the lottery  forgot to pay their mortgage and I guess the mob was not economy proof. OUCH! Fucking economy that bastard don’t give a shit that Teresa has to go live in some gross used shack and she hates  living in a used house because it is gross. So much for that!

Click here for the actual foreclosure notice from Radaronline posted by my reader Jen earlier.

Here is another article of her foreclosure from MediaTakeout.

Here is some pictures of the lavish mansion they must give up:

That sucks! And I like this crazy spoiled Bitch too! I wonder where she is gonna live now? She can now join the club of evicted and foreclose housewives which includes Jeana, Tamra, Sheree, Lisa, NeNe, Lynne and now Teresa; she is number 7 . I can’t keep track of all these Bitches getting evicted and or foreclose on, did I forget anyone?

Sheree meets Kim for drinks at the same fancy restaurant that the scalp Kim’s wig off  extravaganza courtesy of Sheree took place. I am surprised that the management let those Bitches back at the place they almost trashed in a knockout wig out Bitch brawl. I guess the restaurant owners must be famewhores too. The purpose of Kim and Sheree’s meeting is to discuss the engagement party for Kandi and AJ.( It is sad writing this part because we all know what happens to AJ and I feel very sad for Kandi)

AJ tries very hard to patch things up with Kandi’s mom and so arranges a family group therapy . Kandi, AJ and Mom attend and Mom chews AJ off for having 6 children and triyng to use Kandi’s money to help pay all his babys momas  for child support. Kandi’s mom also expresses her disapproval with AJ when she refuses to make a toast at  the engagement party.

NeNe visits her family in Athens ( I knew she was country!)she visits her uncle Mel who was her dad’s brother. NeNe meets with her ghostwrites who’s name is Denene is that means that she belongs to NeNe? NeNe says she is glad she left that country town and knew she would leave to become a successful striper/famewhore.

NeNe visits her mom’s old house. NeNe tries to say the the house sat there empty  for a long time and that her family just kept it and tells her ghost writer that she doesn’t have the key to get in the house. But the truth is she really doesn’t have the key because this is somebody elses’ house now, and those people are at work.

And since the real owners are not home NeNe and the Bravo crew take advantage of the opportunity and  film and pretend this house belongs to NeNe’s family after getting some good footage  the camera crew  and NeNe’s crazy ass, better get the fuck off the property before those home owners come back home from work and freak out.

The door rings and rings at Kim’s house and she just walks around yelling ’somebody answer the door!’, even thought she is right by it, but she ain’t about to lift a finger and answer a door specially when she is wearing her old lady bingo robe.

Derek  is at the door  visiting Kim to give her and her wigs a flea dip bath. Brielle finally answers the door , Derek smacks Brielle in the head and says ‘took you long enough’ He is wearing his super spiked puteria high heels and tells Kim ‘what the hell you got on?’.

Derek presents Kim  a new darker bushier wig and tells Kim to drop the wig she has on right now and while Derek helps Kim change wigs, the camera looks down to not film Kim’s bald wigless head, they also play some creepy music as if Derek is performing some scary surgery on her bald head while she is wigless for those brief minutes. Suddenly, everything goes back to normal and the happiness comes back along with the happy music, after Derek managed to stitch  Kim’s new 70’s porn star  wig, made from the bleached pubic hair of retired 70’s porn stars  that had lots of different Venereal Diseases of the crotch.

Kim tells Derek her wig had a couple of litters since Kim didn’t neuter the wig and now Kim changes wigs every day and that she will need a flea dip for all 757 of her wigs.

Kim says to Derek that since her wig had those litters of baby wigs Kim got a degree in wig technology and has her doctorate in wigging out, and this is the main reason Kim is starting her wig company.

Sheree has Dwight come over her house wearing some crazy ass sunglasses to look at the dress samples for the fashion show.   Dwight keeps saying the show  is behind and everything is going to be dreadful because Sheree sucks ass. Dwight looks at all the samples and he just keeps going’ uh um, uh um, uh um.’  In a disapproving nagging tone, over and over he also states that Sheree needs major help and he sounds like he may be right since Sheree has not even found models yet and the show is just a few days away. But what do you expect from these crazy ho’s who love hiring all these people and arrange all their major projects racing the clock and at the last minute maybe they do this so just in case they fuck up they can have someone else to blame like Sheree does all the time.

Sheree’s ego needs a lot of room she has the seamstress make all of her samples her exact size  because Sheree arrogantly explains to Tania as she prances around modeling the samples that she is a perfect model size and blah, blah, blah meanwhile Tania is jerking her monkey and drooling at Sheree. I guess that’s why SheMan keeps Tania around to be her yes sir Bitch.

Since SheMan had all of the samples for her fashion show made her own size is this mean she will model all the pieces also, since all the models she auditions will not be her exact perfect size and therefore inferior to her and not good enough to model her clothing line? According to the voices in her head.

Yeah yesterday it was reported by Perez Hilton that Bethenny Frankel is pregnant. Bethenny did not want everyone to find out so soon but the news leaked out when Kelly Bensimon told everybody and next minute everyone knew about it, forcing Bethenny to admit the whole thing to People but states she is pissed that the news got out so soon the way they did since she is not that far along and wanted to be further along with the pregnancy before word got out.  Bethenny admitted to People today, that she is about 2 months pregnant and apparently it was a surprise. I am very happy and excited for this loud mouthed Bitch  she got what she wanted a man and a baby. It is all going awesome for her and will continue to. Congratulations!

This is what she told People:

Bethenny Frankel, who got engaged to her boyfriend Jason Hoppy earlier this month, is pregnant with her first child she tells PEOPLE exclusively.

Although The Real Housewives of New York City star had hoped to wait until she was further along to break the news, online buzz on PerezHilton.com caused her to reveal that she’s roughly two months pregnant. “It’s premature to be telling people this,” she tells PEOPLE while fighting back tears.

Though she knows she can hardly keep secrets now that she’s a reality star, Frankel, 38, says she’d hoped to keep the news private a bit longer. “It’s not like, ‘Did I Get Botox?’ It’s not the way I wanted it to get out,” she says. “I haven’t even gone through my first trimester. We haven’t even heard the heartbeat. My [fiancé's] parents didn’t even know.”

Surprise Baby News

Frankel, who met Hoppy at the nightclub Tenjune 11 months ago, says she’s thrilled to have found The One. “We were both complete players. We never thought we would find the right person.”

As for getting pregnant before tying the knot, she says, “I’m no spring chicken. I didn’t think it was going to happen right away. Because of my age, sometimes we weren’t totally careful.”

But she admits, “I got to be honest, we are both feeling kind of proud of ourselves. We are both 38 and we were like, ‘Listen, your fish can swim and I am fertile.’ So that’s exciting.”

The couple plans to wed before she has the baby. Explains Frankel, “Because of my age, it’s not like I was going to meet a boy, and then be engaged for a year and then be married for a year before we started trying [to have kids] … I’d be 45.” She describes the way things have unfolded as “like the Triple Crown. I got engaged, we got pregnant and we’re gonna get married. It’s a miracle.”

Cravings

And while she’s less than two months into the pregnancy, Frankel says she’s already experiencing a change in her appetite.

“I’m hungry in a way that is not negotiable,” she says. “I’m not eating tremendous amount but if I am hungry, I will stab someone for food.”

She even ate a jar of pickles before she’d taken her pregnancy test. “That’s so cliché,” she says. “I just want salt. Salt on everything.”