The ink has not even dried yet on the divorce papers and this ho’ is already dating a new guy. His name is Eddie Judge and he was friends with Simon. Simon happened to run into them in Las Vegas. (what a coincidence!) And Simon flipped out and fell to his knees when he saw Tamra with another man. Security had to escort Simon out of the club.
Why is he tripping wasn’t he the one who filed for divorce? And I don’t know about that so called new guy. He doens’t convince me that he is into girls too much.
Stung by her husband Simon filing for divorce and accusing her of cheating during the marriage, she’s rebounded by dating one of his friends, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.
The star of Bravo’s “Real Housewives Of Orange County” has hooked up with Eddie Judge and Simon, who calls it “the ultimate betrayal,” found out about it the hard way – by seeing them together. And it was such a blow that Simon actually dropped to his knees, he told RadarOnline.com.
Simon was at the Hard Rock Hotelin Las Vegas on Saturday night and thought Tamra was back in Los Angeles. When Simon arrived at the club around midnight he got quite a shock.
“I walked in and I saw Tamra with a friend of mine, Eddie Judge,” Simon told RadarOnline.com. “I saw them holding hands and acting like a couple. “As soon as Tamra saw me she let go of his hand and walked away.
“I went up to Eddie and asked him if he’s (bleeping) my wife. He didn’t say a word.
“I couldn’t believe what I had just witnessed — the ultimate betrayal by a pal and my estranged wife.
“I started to feel weak and feel to my knees. The doorman helped me and by the time I had regained my composure they both left to the other side of the club.
“I left soon after.”
Tamra confirmed to RadarOnline.com: “I started dating Eddie Judge last week.
“We started hanging out together more after my separation and one thing led to another. We had been friends for over a year. “We are romantically involved, he is a great guy. It was bound to happen that we both we would dating again after he filed for divorce, it was going to happen sooner or later.
“I don’t know what the future holds with Eddie and only time will tell.”
In a desperate attempt to save her failing marriage Tamra decides to do what every other trailer park ho’ has done to prove her love for her husband and gets a tattoo with Simon’s name on it. Tamra also says it is ironic that she was pissed off at Nugget Boy for getting his Nugget tattoo in the inside of his lip and now she is getting inked. I think all these ho’s are the same and they all copy cat each other like for example didn’t Gretchen get a tattoo with Jays name on it? Now Tamra is doing the exact same thing too.
Did that Bitch tap Nugget’s butt when she hugged him?. Ewwwh!
Tamra asks the tattoo guy if they sterilize the tattoo guns and if she can catch a disease from getting the tattoo. Doesn’t she have a tramp stamp tattooed on her ass or was I high when I was watching that episode? Tamra asks Nugget Boy if he could find her something to drink. Nugget asks Tamra if she would like some water and Tamra says ‘NOOO!’are you stupid get me some booze! These Bitches like to start drinking early specially at tattoo parlors. Tamra worries that getting Simon’s name tatooed may bring the kiss of death to her relationship,‘I heard a lot that if you get someone’s name tattooed on your body you get divorced or you break up I just hope it’s not the kiss of death’ Well I guess she knows now.
Stupid Lynne is driving while talking on her cell phone to Alexis, inviting her to a housewarming party at her new beach home, trying to smooth things out, over the outburst she had during the last episode and saying dumb shit like ‘That outburst I don’t know what came over me!’ And more stupid shit such as, ‘I don’t know what was in that wine?’ I can tell you what was in that wine ho’ it was 17.5% alcohol by volume same as Night Train.
I can’t believe that ho’ didn’t get pulled over for driving while talking on a cell phone that is not hands free in California that’s illegal.Then she says ‘ we all made up afterward it was fine we always do that we get all upset and then we’re fine, that’s how we roll here in the OC’ Oh, yea? I am so impressed. That’s how they roll at some of the trailer parks also . You’ll fit right in, when your ass has to live over there.
Gretchen asks Vicki for advice on finances and running her makeup line in 2010. Bitch skin looks like shit all flaky and Grimm Reaperish, did you all notice her eyebrows were crooked? She forgot to draw them on all the way. She looked like she just got up, or was up all night tweaking on meth.
Vicki tells Gretchen to quit dreaming about putting out a cheap ass make up line in this economy and quit being so stupid spending money before she makes it and going bankrupt. Vicki also tells Gretchen she ain’t no Estee Lauder.
Then Vicki asks Gretchen how much money Jeff left her. Gretchen lies through her teeth and tells Vicki that Jeff didn’t leave her shit. Yet, she lives the high roller jet setter life plus were is she getting the money to invest in the so called make up line? It doesn’t make sense. She thinks people are just stupid and can’t add.
Vicki asks Gretchen if Slimey has a job and the Bitch could not give Hurricane Vicki a straight answer she just nods and says all nervous, ‘ yee-ah, ‘ Gretchen lies to Vicki and tells her Slimey has a job but she doesn’t elaborate on what exactly he does for a living. Bitch cannot even come up with a good lie. She could of told Vicki ‘Slade works at some In n Out in Anaheim’ or ‘Slade works selling oranges on the side of the freeway’ or my favorite and this one is closer to the truth ‘Slade is a homeless male prostitute’.You know elaborate, but the bitch just sat there looking dumb, nervous and acting all awkward and shit.
Stupid Gretchen she gets all offended that Vicki is asking her dumb ass, if Slimeball brings in a paycheck and Gretchen herself, is the one who asked Vicki for financial advice, but laughs her ass off to the confessional camera and says ‘ His job is to pleasure me in bed!’ Ewwwh! Well we all knew that, Bitch. But, we are not laughing with you we are all laughing at you, because just like crazy ass Hurricane Vicki observed ‘I think Slade uses people, I think that’s the way he gets around, he sees a little pot of gold over there and he is gonna stay there for that’. And I bet he manages that Bitch alright, he is managing all the money Jeff left her down the toilet and up his nostrils Gretchen doesn’t see that., oh, yeah she is having too much fun with the nose candy to see that shit.
We also learned that Jimbo spends 3 thousand dollars a night in fancy hotel rooms for him and Duck lips. He also wants to make sure we know he has 900k in his bank account and he doesn’t know the difference between flamingos and swans. Next year foreclosure.
All the Bitches show up to Lynne’s rented beach house for her housewarming party. All the men were drunk and checking out Vicki for some reason telling her ‘ youuu looook beeeaauutiffeeeuul!’ except Simone because she hates her. Gretchen shows up and asks ‘where’s the shitter?!’.
In this episode Tamra decided to do all the shit that trailer park folk do like get a tattoo on her finger with Simon’s name on it, hang out with her biker friends and get naked wasted at Lynne’s party. The minute she got to Lynne’s housewarming party she was looking for the drinks she kept sucking down drink after drink and getting more obnoxious and louder and louder by the minute.
Did ya’ all see when Vicki showed up she was trying to get Simon and Vicki to hug each other and she was saying in a real loud high pitch obnoxious voice ‘ HAVE YOU MET SIMON?!’ Bitch was slurring her words and stumbling around. Simon tells her to calm her drunken ass down and have some water she yells all slurry ‘I need another drriink!’. Simon was getting embarrassed specially since his mentor and teacher Jimbo was present and he would frown upon Simon’s inability to control his Bitch.
How come Tamra always looks like she is wearing a fucking mop on her head all the time. Her hair looks ratty, mangy and unhealthy you can see the black roots through her fake ass bleached blonde hair that looks like it’s thinning out. Pretty soon she is gonna need to buy a wig from Kim Zolciaks wig line. Homegirl should go back to her natural dark roots and quit lying to herself that she is a blonde, lay off the chemical bleach on her hair and start using organic henna to cover the gray or else she will go bald by the time she is 50.
Isn’t it funny how last season Tamra an Vicki were giving newcomer Gretchen and Lynne the cold shoulder, and not letting them in the mean girls club? And Isn’t it funny how last season Simon didn’t seem too bothered by Tamra’s and Vicki’s Big Teetied Heffas friendship? This year Simon decided he hates Vicki and he also suddenly decided it is her fault him and Tamra’s marriage is falling apart leading eventually to divorce. Whaa?
So let me get this straight . When Simon was making the mega bucks. Supposedly. And buying Tamra 40k watches and thousand dollar designer bags everything was la-di-daa. Then he lost his job and could not keep up with the Joneses no more and then they met the Bellinos, whom to Tamra and Simon are the Joneses. To me they are the new Simon and Tamra. Simon started taking classes from reverend Jafar Jimbo on how to keep your Bitch in line, having a man crush on Jimbo and being enamoured with the Bellino marriage wishing Tamra was as submissive and obedient, without her own opinion and just as stupid as Alexis is with Jimbo all licking his boots and wiping his fat ass.
Suddenly Simon decides that Vicki is the devil and the enemy and she is a bad influence on Tamra and is the cause of all of the Barney’s marriage problems including global warming. While they are all out on Lynne’s patio Simon decides he is going to box Vicki and not make peace with her. Vicki has her boxing globes on and is holding her own with Simon. Simon is taking cheap shots at Vicki and telling her to stay out of his marriage. What the fuck? As if the Bitch is sleeping between them or what?
Vicki tells Tamra and Simon ‘I don’t give a rats ass about your marriage!’
Simon walks away from both women and says to Tamra ‘don’t touch me!’like a little Diva and runs down the stairs crying sipping on his pink girly drink all the othe guys say to him ‘Simooon don’t leave!’but he throws a hissy fit and says ‘I’m done!’ Then he comes back to fight Vicki some more and also to viciously bad mouth her to the other people and calls her a fucking bitch withing ear shot of Donn who pretends he didn’t hear Simon.
Vicki gets pissed off at Tamra for not slapping Simon for disrespecting her and Tamra says ‘he is my huusband!’ Vicki really should of gotten pissed at Donn for not sticking up for her to Simon.Simon continues being hostile to Vicki and Donn is right there don’t tell me he didn’t see or hear that shit. What the fuck? He didn’t say shit or do shit. To me this was disappointing. Seriously Bitches if someone disses your partner man or woman you say something you stick up for them. I am all for having a husband who lets you speak your mind, have your own opinions,hold the remote, kick his ass in the ring, and let you win the fights. You know a nice guy. I have one of those.
But I can’t believe Donn just sat there and then he says‘ I dind’t want to get involved Vicki can hold her own’. It is understandable that sometimes you have to grab your man by the huevos and remind him who is the Boss but you also have to let them hold their own cock too and be the man and I don’t mean a chauvinistic pic asshole like Jimbo either that’s not a man. All’s I know is something needed to be said to Simon. But Donn could not come to Vicki’s aide, since Vicki carries his dick in her purse and she can use it to slap Simon with it and she did. I guess it works for them.
Simon yells at Vicki some more and throws his bitch hissy fits and tries to convince Vicki and everybody at the party that him and Tamra have a healthy marriage, that we all know now was a bunch of bullshit since they getting a divorce anyways.
Simon keeps throwing little Bitch fits and walking out Tamra rans after him he tells Tamra that Donn calls him crying because Vicki kicks Donn’s ass. It’s probably true! Sad.
Lynne’s husband tells Jim he doesnt want to pay bills or credit card payments. Well you all don’t pay your bills fucker, instead of paying the bills Frank and Lynne use the bills that come in the mail to roll doobies when they get too lazy to go down to the liquor store and buy more zig zags.
After all the display of drama queen fuckery and Bitch smacking between Simone and Vicki. Lynne forced them to sit next to each other during dinner hopping one of them would slap the other. Unbelievable!.
Lynne and Frank tell the story of how they met. When Lynne was a young window hooker selling tricks Ala red district in Amsterdam, Frank spotted her on the window made an illegal u turn almost got a ticket from a cop who gave him the thumbs up after Frank told him what he was up to. Then Frank paid Lynne 3 dollars for a blow job and the next night they were married. Gotta admit their story was very cute!
Tamra tells the story how she met doofus Simon. At some trailer park country bar of course while he was line dancing with other guys for quarters. They had sex in the back of his El Camino 10 minutes later. The rest is history. Did ya’ all see Jimbo get all exicted because he knew exactly what puta rat hole Simon met Tamra at. He must hang out there a lot picking up ho’s.
Then Duck lips tells the story of how she met Jimbo. She tells a long winded tiring story, that production crew had to slice it into 4 different parts. The story took 4 hours she went on an on an on, about what she was wearing, how many sips she took out of her drink, how many ice cubes she had, what shoes she had on, Bitch sounded like a 5 year old who had too much candy and would not shut the fuck up. She was telling every boring stupid fucking detail like anybody gave a fuck.
Then she describes the first time she saw Jimbo and makes him sound as if he looked like a greek god, she should just tell the truth that he looked more like a greasy hairy fat slime ball who hangs around strip clubs and pays for sex, and the only reason she started talking to him was because he pulled out a big fat wad of cash like a Colombian drug lord and waved that cash at her slutty ass who was hanging around that hotel lobby pulling tricks and when Bitch saw that cash she went back to his room with him.
What a lying ho’ trying to say Jimbo looked hot, I puked in my my mouth a little, you know damn well Jimbo didn’t look any better 4 years ago than he does now you can tell that turd was always fugly even when he was younger. Oh, yeah and him and her were married to other people when they met that’s part of their christian values! She forgot to mention that during that long boring stupid bullshit story.
Vicki and Donn fell asleep during Alexis long winded novel of bullshit and stupid Alexis got all offended. Well, someone had to tell that ho’ that the world doesn’t revolve around her and people don’t give a crap about her long stupid stories, people have shit to do. Besides she took up 4 hours of Vicki’s life and now she wants them back!
Gretchen was nice and coked out again and ready to start shit with Vicki so she started questioning Vicki in a confrontational manner about why she doesn’t invite Donn to certain vacations. Vicki gets tired of the bullshit and excuses herself to go take a shit. But when she leaves everyone gangs up on Donn they tell Donn ‘she is gone you can speak now!’ they were all asking Donn about the Florida trip he was all nervous and you can tell this was an uncomfortable situation for him because he didn’t want to say the wrong thing and piss anyone off specially Vicki whom he would have to deal with later. Donn yells ‘ we we’rent invited!’ and says ‘I coulnd’t go I have a job!’ Did ya’ all noticed how when he said that shit the happy music got scratched and every single one of those con artist fucktards got offended and defensive because they knew he was calling out their bullshit!.
That bimbo Alexis had the nerve the nerve to get offended. Bitch says ‘ I work hard I am a mother of 3 children and I take care of my husband’. That Bitch wouldn’t know what the meaning of working hard is. What she works hard alright with 3 nannies you know damn well she has maids so she don’t do dishes, or clean or even spends more than 10 minutes with her children her work day consist of her spending all day at hair appointments and 5 hours at the gym and 3 hours at the spa, the rest of the time she stresses about Jimbo finding a cuter younger blonde . I bet that must be exhausting poor thing! Well, having sex with that ogre must be the worst nightmarish part! Gross! That dumb Bitch is still just a lap dog!
Gretchen works hard at snorting meth and puking and spending Jeff’s money on Slimey. Tamra and Simon work hard at ? I don’t really know? Lynne works hard at sniffing glue and blowing money she don’t have. Jimbo works hard doing questionable business dealings and hiding his affairs from dumb bimbo Alexis, which it ain’t that hard, ’cause that bitch is dumb.
Vicki has had enough and decides it is time to storm out of the dinner party and tells everyone to kiss her fat ass. Donn followed Vicki like a trained puppy dog while they were walking out and after wards all those fucktards were talking shit about Vicki and Donn. Tamra threw Vicki under the bus. So much for their friendshit. Because that’s all it was. And Vicki was crying and she says ‘every single one of those bitches are fucked up!’ she cried and cried and wanted Donn to kick Simone’s ass. Well next time she needs to let Donn hold his own cock just in case he needs to put the smack down. Sometimes it’s necessary to let the guy hold his own dick.
After everyone partied got wasted fought with Vicki had flings with each others men, puked and peed in Lynne’s hallways there was even puke splattered in the front lawn house was trashed and everyone was hung over. At about noon, which is the normal time everybody wakes up at Lynne’s flop house her daughter (I think it was Alexa?) wakes up to a loud knock on the door to an eviction notice the man serving the notice asks Alexa if her mom and dad are home, so dumb ass shuts the door to asks ‘are you guys home?’ either Lynne or Frank say ‘no’ and Alexa opens the door again and repeats that, to the eviction server.
He hands Alexa the notice everyone at home is hung over including mom and dad of course they didn’t want to deal with the eviction notice so they let one their children deal with it . Alexa slams the door and says ‘ what the fuck is this?, is this for real?’ . Yeap darling it is for real. Remember all the money mom and Raquel spend on plastic surgery and all the wild shopping sprees. That was the rent money. You been served. Maybe since ya’ all want to stay in the Orange County area ya’ all should think about moving to one of the more affordable parts of town like the nice trailer parks in Santa Ana still in Orange County and you will be with other folks that are more in your income level. Just saying…
According to Radaronline Gretchen Rossi was ordered to pay ex-boyfriend Jay Photoglou $18,900 because supposedly she ruined his reputation:
Jay Photoglou was awarded $18,900 in fees connected to a restraining order case. Real Housewives of Orange Countystar Rossi has obtained a temporary restraining order against Photoglou but it was then dropped by a judge.
Jay asked for attorneys fees and costs and a judge ruled in his favor on Feb. 1
Last week Photoglou filed a lawsuitagainst Rossi for slander and libel and several other counts.
This Bitch is gonna be broke by the time all these men she was screwing around with are done screwing her.
Gretchen is finally fulfilling her life dream of joining an outlaw biker gang. She gets ready to ride her bike puts on her Barbie pink scarf, gets her helmet on pulls out a lists from her pocket that reads:
Things I want to do before I die:
1. Get plastic surgery to get rid of the ugly.
2. Become bulimic and lose the weight. Work out frantically.
3.Get engaged to an old millionaire who is about to kick the bucket, and sleep with other men while supposedly taking care of him.
4.Join a trashy reality TV show and make all the other Bitches on it jealous.
5. Get money from dying fiancee.
6.Get a Harley as a gift from millionaire fiancee.
7. Date a douchebag.
8. Pick up a meth habit to stay skinny.
9. Join an outlaw biker gang.
10. Sleep with as many bikers as possible.
11. Catch crabs from as many bikers as possible.
12.Give crabs to as many bikers as possible.
13. Blow all the money inherited from dead millionaire fiance on blow, hookers and the douchebag.
14.Back to square one.
Gretchen is checking off each item according to what she is currently accomplishing, and joining the biker gang was in there and so was making Tamra kill herself from jealousy because Gretchen got the pink Harley that Tamra always wanted since she was a little girl at the trailer park.
Gretchen says that Tamra can ‘SUCK IT!’. Since Gretchen is doing what she said that she was gonna do and Tamra shit herself in jealousy when she saw Gretchen getting that pink Harley. Gretchen says ‘where is your bike Bitch?!’ Since it is clear that Tamra Sue can’t afford a Harley, even thought she says she could get one if she wanted to, but we all know that is boollshit.
Gretchen offers Tamra a job as her Bitch and says that Tamra can ride in the back of her bike and Gretchen is gonna wear a jacket that says ‘If you can read this the Bitch fell off’ Just in case Tamra falls off during one of the sharp turns.
Yes, Gretchen has goals, big goals! That’s why she is loved!
Tamra and Simon hate each other and their children know that. It is a tough morning at the Barney cookie cuter mini palace that is about to get repossessed by the bank. Tamra asks her little son if he wants something to eat then she says that she didn’t eat anything before she went to bed the night before. Her little son Spencer says ’neither did I get used to it’ Since he hears all the grown up conversations, he tells his mom that in a minute here they gonna be on food stamps and that they gonna have to make that $ 300.00 a month in food stamps last for the whole month. That baby is mouthing off early, getting ready for puberty. Tamra expresses that she wants to work things out with Simon, just in case she can’t find another sugar daddy with at least a job. Little does she know he is dumping her ass.
It was cute when Tamra asks Simon if he is going to follow the kids after they hoped on their little bikes to go to school, at that brief moment Tamra and Simon where mom and dad and were actually getting along. Too bad for those kids, Simon and Tamra’s crazy asses could not work things out.
Meanwhile Lynne’s daughter Little Ho’ in Training Alexa is hanging out with her friends still doing whatever she wants and whinning that her mom is too hard on her. What a whinney little shit!
Lynne sniffed too much glue and popped too many shrooms and ate too many hashbrownies her brain is like mush and she still can’t figure out how to ground Alexa even thought Alexa has given her instructions on how to ground her she even bought her a book but Lynne still doens’t get it.
I guess maybe it is because Lynne doesn’t know how to read so she can’t read the book Alexa got her, on how to ground a teenager, that is the reason Bravo won’t give Lynne a blog either. They even gave the other dumb house ho’s one. Even Kim Zolciak and Alexis Bellino have a Bravo blog and those Bitches are dumb, but they can still write something at least. Even thought Alexis blog has to pass her master’s Jimbo’s approval and he proofreads it for her, she still gets to write something it. If she writes something that Jimbo considers wrong he will usually back hand smack her in the mouth. That’s why her lips are plump then he makes her delete it and dictates her what she should write.
But poor Lynne when Bravo asked her to sign her contract that of course she dind’t read, she signed it with an ‘X’ and they realized she was iliterate so the producers said, don’t give that Bitch a blog.
Since Lynne is clueless about how to approach her daughter Alexa instead of just grounding her for acting like an ass and not understanding when she is grounded, she takes her shopping. I guess Lynne thinks that grounding a girl is taking her to the mall shopping instead of taking her home and having a parent to child talk and give her chores to do or grounding her from the phone because of the bullshit she likes to pull.
How come Lynne looks like a shrinking 80 year old lady when she is driving that 95 Beemer? She is all sitting forward with her back hunched over like Mr. Burns from the Simpson’s.
Alexa complains that her parents don’t ground her and that instead of just yelling at her they should really do something. You mean like beat her ass? Then Alexa bitched her mom Lynne out for turning her to the Youthologist Vanessa who is really some other woman who is burly older than Alexa and Alexa asks Lynne what is this woman supposed to know about raising a teenager? Lynne doesn’t even know what to say to Alexa and just takes her in the mall . Alexa wants her mom to do her job as a mom and wants her mom to ground her? Yeap.
Alexa stars crying, because instead of taking her shopping Lynne starts talking to Alexa about being respectful to her. At that same moment when Alexa started crying like a bratty little shit Lynne should of dragged Alexa out of the mall by her hair and said ‘fuck this! I am not buying you shit get in the car!’ then she should of taken her phone for a month and the situation would of ended there. But nooo!
While at the mall you can see how gradually Lynne’s brand new face starts to fall off because of the stress of talking to Alexa. Lynne is so afraid of Alexa.
The whole scene starts to turn very ugly when Alexa starts to use curse words at Lynne it all scalates to the point where Alexa calls Lynne a ‘Bitch’ and tells her she only cares about herself and her stupid cuffs and throws the cuff on the table, and also tell Lynne to kiss her ass . Lynne just sits there looking at Alexa in surprise and doesn’t know what to say to her.
Lynne just lets her freshly implanted face fall off and her old face came back. I could not believe that! If that was my kid she would really be calling me the ‘devil’ I would of made sure I gave her something to cry about. Lynne don’t know what to say to her teenage child who is disrespecting her in public at the South Coast Plaza on national TV in front of God and everybody at that! Lynne just sits there with a dumb look on her face like usual and stutters some lame ass shit that doesn’t make sense like ‘ g-girl the world is your stage’.
Alexa continues her tirade of disrespect towards Lynne , and walks away from Lynne. Stupid Lynne walks behind Alexa kissing her ass and not really doing anything like smacking that child across the face so that she could taste her own blood.
If my kid who is also a teenager pulled that bullshit stunt that Alexa pulled on Lynne, I would of smacked her so hard in front of the cameras she would of being farting teeth out of her butt. My kid tells me I am ruining her life when I ground her and take away her phone, not let her go out etc. Oh well, I always say to myself she’ll get over it. That’s what Lynne needs to do, she also needs to quit sniffing glue and eating magic mushrooms. Lynne should of waited for that bong hit until after she dealt with Alexa’s punk ass.
And now lets check in with the $2 dollar Circus Teetie Church Whore Alexis and her creepie master of puppet huusband Jimbo:
Alexis and her circus teeties is cooking hard boiled eggs for her lord a master Jimbo. She is very tired from watching the maid make the beds, and this heating up coffee in the microwave shit is tiring. Alexis asks Jimbo if she can have a cooking party for her and the other Bitches so that she can fullfill her dying wish of bringing Tamra and Gretchen back together again as friends and also so that they can each taste each others whatever… After dumb ass Alexis says ‘taste each other’s whatever’ Jimbo gets all excited and likes the idea of Alexis having a cooking party so that he can check out the other Bitches rack from the peeping hole he installed.
Alexis starts talking, then Jimbo shuts Alexis up and she apologizes for rambling on like a little chatter box. Jimbo tells her, ‘do you want my input or did you decide how it’s gonna go’ Bitch, then he smacked her around a couple of times and shouted ‘were my eggs at ho!’. He dictates to her exactly on what to do to get Tamra and Gretchen to be friends again, so that they can all end up going on vacation together this way he can tag along on the vacation and check out the other racks longer.
While Jimbo tells Alexis what to do she is attentively listening while nodding and drinking her coffee and all of that coffeee is driping on the sides of Alexis coffee mug, because her duck lips are too lose, that red stuff on her dirty coffee mug is not lipstick. It’s blood from when Jimbo smacks the shit out of her. It’s a hard job being a trophy wife.
Tamra admits her house is in short sale and cleans her garage to sell her house Simon fallls off the pogo stick. Boring!
Vicki and Donn go on date night diarrhea was dripping from the waitresess hair because a seagull decided to shit on the waitress. Vicki is screaming at the diarrhea on the poor waitress hair. The damn bird kept flying around shitting on that poor waitress hair. Now she will always be remembered as the diarrhea seagull waitress Vicki orders that waitress to go clean herself up ‘go wash your hair you’re a drooper’.
Donn helped the waitress. Vicki was horrified. That shit was funny that poor waitress is gonna have to wash her hair in the kitchen sink. Vicki and Donn make fun of the waitress what a fun night they’re having. After that whole thing Donn gave Vicki a gaudy pimp ring.Vicki says it’s almost six carats. Vicki takes off the ring and says ‘I don’t deserve this’ I’ll beat yo’ ass with it. The next night Vicki punched Donn in the eye with that ring. They’re so happy together. Happy bastards! God Bless them!
Gretchen says she didn’t get money from Jeff. You know that Bitch is lying because if she was broke Slade would not go out with her, well maybe for the ass because she is cute in a big head, bulimia sort of way. Although she is starting to get the Joker Face eyebrows going from the botox. Well maybe Gretchen is running out of the 2.5 million that she supposedly dind’t get.
Vicki her two grown children and her employees are having a meeting. Vicki says she dont like ho’s that spend all day at the gym sleep till 10 and not work or do shit just like oh,… Alexis and Tamra. Were Tamra is at; Alexis is going. Vicki bitches her kids into working, and gives them a seminar about how to manage your money, Michael and Brianna are smart asses to Hurricane Vicki and say they will just spend their money and blow it on bullshit. Brianna calls her mom a picker.
Well Hurricane Vicki is a crazy Bitch but her insanity serves a purpose. Vicki bustes her ass because blow, booze and male whores, costs money, Bitches! Those other Bitches need to learn Hurricane Vicki’s work ethic. Specially Lynne, because face lifts and smoking a pound of weed a week cost a lot of money and nobody is buying those bullshit cuffs.
Speaking of Lynne the Bitch is desperate and turns to her mom for help in dealing with her out of control teenage demon daughter Alexa. Lynne tells her mom she needs help. Lynne wants to pawn Alexa off on her mom.Lynne asks her mom if she could send Alexa to grandma boot camp. Grandma boot camp? That little shit needs real boot camp instead of fixing her chankla face, (which didn’t make much of a difference) Lynne should of used that money to pay her rent buy groceries and send Alexa to real boot camp. Lynne’s mom tells her to get off the glue now.
Jim is in charge of the kids haircut too he also tells everyone what to do at the haircutting place. Alexis says that Jimbo jr is just like his dad. That is very scary, you mean he is making more of him. These fuckers are creepy.
Vicki dind’t go to Alexis cooking get togeter because it was on a work day at 1pm. That’s why she is not in foreclosure.
Lynne showed up holding an open wine bottle, looking like a crack ho’ her hair was not even done she stunk of wine and was drunk off her ass. Wearing a very short mini and gogo boots ‘ho’ wife say what?’.
Alexis wants those bitches to get along so she gives all the drunken Bitches knifes. Then they all started sword fighting .Stupid Alexis is too stupid to cook she don’t know how to cook anyways. So she has to get 2 chefs to cook for her.
I think Lynne popped some acid too. The cooks thought those bitches where stupid and wanted to poison them. Did ya’ all see the cooks face , he wanted to laugh at stupid Tamra when she was trying to do a stripper move and take off her apron all sexy, then Alexis told her ‘don’t strangle yourself’.
They keep showing clips of Lynne getting more wasted sucking on booze. Lynne complains about the amount of butter being used on the food and says she will have to extra work out to get rid of the extra weigth! I am starting to think this ho’ is not on weed because that shit gives you the munchies and Lynne would not want that. Maybe that ho’ just sniffs glue like it’s going out of style. Because then she says all retarted like ‘ I still don’t know what we’re doing I wasn’t paying attention!’. Pendeja!
Alexis starts her shit about those 2 bitches becoming friends again. Tamra says she don’t like that Bitch starting her shit.But Tamra and Gretchen are too drunk, tired and over the whole Gretchen and Tamra dilemma, war bullshit just like everyone else is.
Lynne looks like shit and her old face came back after that Alexa fight.Then she tells the bitches her hubby is hung like a horse. That’s gross! I don’t want to know about that fucking shit drunk Bitch!
Gretchen brings up a touchy subject she knew would piss Lynne off and asks Lynne ‘how are your girls.. How is Alexa?’ Lynne’s look on her face should of warned her to stop right there; because that Bitch got pissed. Then Gretchen kept on pushing Lynne’s drunken irrational buttons.
Alexis realizes that trying to bring Tamra and Gretchen together as friends and being the ‘peacemaker’ and martyr,only backfired on her dumbass and now she feels stupid. Well, she better get used to feeling stupid she is on RHOC isn’t she?
Then Gretchen finally found Lynnes drunken Bitch button and pushed that shit when she told Lynne ‘Just because you pop a child out between your legs it doesn’t give you the…God right to know how to parent!’ this is where Lynne lost it. ‘Bullshit!!’ she screamed. And it all went to shit from then on. Then Lynne got an evil angry look I’ve never seen on that Bitch and she pointed at Gretchen while she sturder ‘fuck you!’ Now where was this angry Lynne when she was at the mall with Alexa? This ugly angry Lynne is the one that needed to be there at the mall, that Bitch can look scary. I bet if she went off on her daughter the way she went off on Gretchen and her kid saw the ugly scary face she had when yelling at Gretchen she would behave.I mean she already looks scary but the look she had on her face when she yelled at Gretchen was super scarier and fuglier than her usual dumb look, she could scare a child and give them nightmares for life!
Lynne yells at Gretchen more and calls her a big internet whore who has no right giving advice on a teenager. Alexis says that kids can be difficult because the nannies tell her about that kind of shit. Then Lynne cries and goes completely ape shit and whinnes about ‘trying to be a good mom’ yada, yada and some bullshit about ‘it’s hard living in Orange County when their friends are getting BMW’s for their birthday’ I guess Raquel’s used Beemer got repoed. This Bitch should just realize she can’t afford Orange County and move somewhere else than instead of keeping up with the Joneses. Or she can take Hurricane Vicki’s money management course to manage her Bravo paycheck. Then Lynne continues the whine and crying campaing some more and she says ‘be afraid, be very afraid!’ while sobbing. She tells Alexis to be afraid because her little angels will grow horns by the time they hit puberty. That’s why you got to take the bull by the horn before those horns get too long.
Jacqueline Laurita’s 19 year daughter, Ashley Holmes was found guilty of pulling Danielle Staub’s (Joker Face) hair extensions out and was fined $189.00 including $33 dollars for court fees, which I am sure that her mom and dad paid for. So she probably don’t give a shit anyways when she starts working for the family business, it’s not like they gonna do a background check on her ass and in that ‘Family’ it’s not like it matters either.
If I was the Judge I would of given Ashley an award for yanking that Bitches hair extentions out, since all the Bitches in the NJ House Ho cast and shit load of the audience been wanting to yank that Ho’s weave out since the show’s first episode.Oh come on! Admit it you know you all had fantasies about yanking that ho’s weave out, we all have! Ashley was the only one with the ‘Cojones’ to do that shit. Damn right!
I see a future NJ House Bitch here.
Also earlier last week Joker Face was in a car wreck while driving somewhere with her daughter. But don’t worry she survived so when she comes back we can keep poking fun at her ass.
Joker Face must of hit her head pretty hard on the dashboard of her car, because lately Bitch is running around saying some delusional bullshit, that she is a ‘Born Again Virgin’. Joker Face needs to shut her mouth and quit trying to be something she is obviously not, she should just stick to what she knows best, ‘whore’ is all she knows best, and that’s what she should stick with, her dumb ass saying she is a virgin all over again is like leaving Charles Manson in charge of a daycare.
That Bitch is like McDonald’s her new introductory phrase should be ‘Over1 billion customers served, and counting’that should the shit she says at the beginning. I bet once they take that Bitch off the 64 different type of pain meds she is on, for her car wreck, she should be back to normal and be her old whory self again; and then she will become a ‘Born Again Slut”.
