Hey Bitches! What up Robin! I haven’t posted because sometimes my Boss Lady throws mo’money at me and says ‘Here Bitch do this project and you have this deadline!’ I’m a well paid slave so I accept. What can I say. So here’s a late recap from episode 11. Enjoy!

What the fuck was that about  ? Why was LuAnn kissing with that short lesbian with bad breath if she didn’t want to kiss her? You can straight up tell homegirl was trying to avoid the smelly kisses of the lesbian, because she kept her mouth shut and didn’t want to breath. Watch that scene very slow and you’ll see!
 

Also why is Sasquatch so hell bent on starting all these arguments with Bethenny ? I used to think Sasquatchy Kelly was a dumb ass, but now I know she is a dumb ass with a drug problem and also evil. Bitch wanted to fuck with Bethenny until she miscarried that baby specially since Bethenny was in a fragile state after her father dying.  Sasquatch thinks this is all gonna make her come out smelling like roses . What a dumb bitch!

 LuAnn payed some reject Boy George on crack looking fuck I’ve never heard of, a lot of money to kiss her ass on national TV to try and convince people that she has a good singing voice , and fails miserable at it. That motherfucker never once took his dark sunglasses off! So we all know he was lying when he was saying all that  bullshit, about how LuAnn has a great  singing voice and how she will always be the ‘Countess’ to him and how she reminds him of Madonna. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH .

That fool was so high and was lying like a cheap rug, in a roach motel, just pulling lie after lie out of his herpey infested sorry ass. He wanted to laugh too a couple times, you can tell.When LuAnn went into the recording room, LuAnn and the lying crack head ,were saying that LuAnn was singing. I was confused I thought she was just talking or reading from a book. That shit sounded like she was just giving a speech with her manly voice in a boring speechey way. At the end she tried to hit a high note. That was horrible. I’ve heard people that sound better while drunk off their assess at a karaoke concert with a fucked up echo.

 Why was that crackhead wearing a landing strip on his head? Was that so that he can get more male customers for his blow-job puterio business on the side? I bet they  payed him a lot of money to not embarrassed the Countless on national TV, like that one dude embarrassed Kim Zolciak . Remember when him and that singing coach (I forgot his name) told Kim she didn’t know what the fuck she was doing and she was no singer. LuAnn must of watched that episode and decided to hire a music producer,  who was desperate for money and  willing to ‘act’ on camera as if he thinks LuAnn is the shit and can be compared to Madonna. But he still could not  take off his dark sunglasses and so we know he was lying!

Suddenly LuAnn says that she’s been singing since she was a child star. Yeah whateves bitch the only thing you’ve been doing since you was 12 , was lighting up them menthols!

 Ramona invites all the Bitches to her bachelorette Bahamas puta-party, but Jill and LuAnn do not show up. Ramona makes the unfortunate mistake of inviting Sasquatch-ass Kelly, who went coo- caca, ape shit, on everybody because she is strung out on meth and roid rage.

And so Sasquatch ass Kelly started shit with Bethenny the minute they landed in St Johns, Sasquatch is delusional from all the drugs frying her brain in 79′. She thinks she is an intellectual genius,who can argue a case in supreme court with her arsenal in words and knowledge of worldly issues such as the preparation of processesed foods. Kelly tells Bethenny she doesn’t eat processesed foods, because she likes to eat healthy, but she loves gummy bears because she can pick those from a tree.

Kelly had a series of explosions during this trip and managed to ruin everybodys vacation.  The first blow up was when they were having lunch on the Olga yatch . Kelly stated she dind’t want to eat lunch while wearing a bathing suit because it was ‘creepy’ so she goes to her cabin to change and to snort a little meth . Kelly keeps saying ‘creepy’ and ‘gross’.

Kelly gets all pissed at Ramona because Ramona brings up the fact  Jill is a bitch. Mr Ed gets all pissed and says that she is ‘normal’ but that all the other bitches are not normal.

In 1979 Kelly must of had a mental meltdown and finally lost her mind from the cocktail of drugs she was  doing , because she keeps mentioning 1979. She was also unable to smuggle enough meth up her asshole on the plane, so when they landed in St. John she was already strung out and starting shit with Bethenny because, Bethenny is pregnant and just lost her father and Sasquatches who are having roidrage and meth craving episodes love going after the most vulnerable people, that’s how they operate.

  They go to one of the most beautiful places in the world, for this Bravo paid vacation, but Kelly and her roid rage ,meth jonsing attacks , causes her to shit wet diarreahea chunks all over the trip and manages to ruin everyone’s vacation.

That Bitch should of never gone, she was so hostile and with each episode her manly body becomes more obvious that she was not born female. She just looks like a muscular quarter back with hughe shoulders, big muscular arms and fake huge boobs. I bet that Bitch shaves her face in the morning. Kelly looks like Sasquatch fucked Mr. Ed in the ass and had a baby and named it Kelly and it was born with male parts.

The comnbination of Kelly being a raving meth-craving, roid taking, lunatic who is also incredibly stupid and doesn’t understand humor, makes her more  hostile and nasty against Bethenny . When Ramona asked where the wine was Bethenny said ‘I saw some grapes in the fridge I am going to stomp on them’ Kelly says ‘Uh NO! I am eating those you’re not stomping  on grapes!’ What a stupid, hostile evil Bitch!  How old is this dumb cunt? Like 57? This Bitch gotta know that you make wine from grapes and that people used to stomp on them. Even my 3 year old nephew knows that. But Kelly gotta play STUPID! Just to be EVIL to  Bethenny because she just wants to pick on a pregnant girl  who is also mourning. That bitch is evil . I was hoping she would fall overboard and become shark food . But then again the poor sharks would of suffered from food poisoning, and that would be animal cruelty.

Sasquatch must be on Jill’s payroll because she kept defending her and barking at Ramona  and Alex , but the one that she specially went after in the most vicious way was Bethenny. At one point Kelly ran out of sentences that burly made sense and continues saying: ‘I’m normal, I’m a real person’ Just repeating that over and over and escalating it.

Then Kelly decided she was gonna verbally bitch slap the other bitches with her  intellectual display of  Kelly analogies, and tells the other Bitches that they are ‘psychoanalyzing everything and making lemons out of lemonade!’ Bethenny and the other ho’s look at Kelly like she is an idiot. Because she is. Bethenny says WTFUCK? REALLY? REALLY BITCH? THAT’S THE BEST YOU’VE GOT? First of all you got that back-assward it’s ‘Making lemonade out of lemons’  that means making good out of something bad. But  you can’t argue with a crazy person, so Kelly insistently answers Bethenny ’not necessarily’ .

 Then Kelly ran out of words again, to try and win her argument, so she resorts back to ‘that’s gross this is gross creepy and gross and creepy‘ Bitch just keeps repeating that over an over.

The other women keep trying to make their point to Kelly about the reason no one likes Jill, which is because she is a raging bitch that doesn’t care about anybody else’s feelings .

 Kelly says she doesn’t like ‘talking about feelings because , uh , it’s so 1979 ‘  I’m telling you this bitch fried her brain in 1979, that’s why her broken record voice box keeps repeating that shit, and the only one that these giberish sentences make sense to  is Kelly herself, because Kelly must have a lot of voices in her insane head rambling idiotic shit all the time . She counldn’t argue her way out of a snot tissue.

After she blows up she decides to storm out of the table, and when she walks to the sliding glass door first she almost walks into it, then she stood there like an dildo for 20 minutes trying to figure out how  to open the sliding glass door.

The girl that was a waitress for the yatch was just standing there looking at her and didn’t help her on purpose, so that Kelly would look more dumb in front of the other Bitches and because she also got on that poor girls nerves. Finally she pushes the sliding glass door button and lets Kelly in. HA HA HA!

Suddenly Kelly came back after her meth time out, and was all happy again. That’s what meth and roid rage does to you!.

Bethenny and Alex bond some more and talk about Bethenny’s dad’s passing. They also make fun of Kelly and how stupid and brain fried Miss you’re making lemons out of lemonade graduate of Mickey mouse college!  YEAH WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!

We also saw the Countless LuAnn on her date, with the short lesbian she’s been dating, named Courtney  . Courtney takes LuAnn to an opium den and makes her drink some fucking ruffee moonshine . I’m telling you that lesbian has some rank breath, because when she kissed LuAnn you can tell the Countless was trying to not breathe.

Bitch was thinking ‘aw god! brush your teeth they stink like the butthole of an elephant!’ LuAnn’s fake laugh was doing nothing to hide her face of disgust.EWWWW! Maybe the short lesbian has fake teeth that’s why her breath stinks like the inside of a coffin!

LuAnn says that she is not looking to hook up with anyone permanent right now and is just dating Courtney for a bootey call and to add to her  fuck-roster. That short lesbian needs to brush her teeth and buy some rogaine. And Countless says there is chemistry between her and Courtney. LIAAAR!

Ramona doesn’t know how to swim and Gonzo doesn’t jump in the water because, she wears a road-kill wig, from Kim Zolciak’s collection of rat hair wigs.

While on the yatch Ramona made a seating chart to keep away Kelly and Beth. Bethenny mourns over her father and Kelly was being a dick to her, because thats what she has between her deformed manly legs.

The bitches were joking about one night stands, and other funny shit but stupid Mr. Ed started getting all bitchy and holier than thou, and said she doesn’t have one night stands like Bethenny .LIAAAR!

 Bitch wanted to find stupid reasons to start shit with Bethenny and saying that she wans’t a whore like Bethenny who fucks everybody.  Kelly also keeps disagreeing with EVERYTHING!  That Bethenny  says and even shit Bethenny doesn’t say and keeps digging up their old argument that supposedly she was already done making peace with Bethenny. Oh, yeah and even though Kelly continues to bring up her and Bethenny’s old fight she also has the twisted odassity to say that it is Beth bringing it up.  WHAT A CREEP!

Then she keeps saying that she doesn’t want to talk about or feel feelings, because its so 1979 and  of course kept going after Bethenny, it was ugly, that Bitch kept bringing shit up from the past then she suddenly starts yelling at Bethenny saying ,’ Nobody cares about you Bethenny and youre creepy! And other stupid shit that just dind’t make any logical sense, and attacks Bethenny saying that Bethenny is not a chef that she is a cook and that is creepy! WHAT A  STUPID CUNT! Oh my GOD!

She also accusses Bethenny of talking to the press about her children and doing shit to her children . What a delusional ASSHOLE! It was hard writing this post because that bitch gets on my last nerve. I can’t believe someone is so VILE! To just go after a pregnant woman who is mourning at that! All that shit that sick bitch, kept calling Bethenny  like, gross and a ho’ bag , she should of said those things in front of a mirror because she was describing herself to a ‘T’!

 What a nasty ugly bitch inside and out, she is the stupidest bitch I’ve ever seen  ! Did it not ocurred inside her fugly disgusting head for a minute that she can make Bethenny stressed out, to the point that she can lose the baby? Kelly you’re GROSS and CREEPY, for doing that you SICK BITCH! Her giberish  sorry ass excuse  arguments against Bethenny, did not make any sense !

It was all a tapestry of confusing psychobable,  the crazy bag ladies that dumpster dive for a living, make more sense than her in an argument!  I used to think this bitch was stupid now I know is more than that !This dumb ass ho’,  coke snorted herself retarded! 

Bethenny kept avoiding that stupid cunt, but Kelly kept following her. She even followed Bethenny to the Hooters boat . Poor Gonzo keeps getting stuck babysitting Sasquatch. And Ramona is slurring  wasted,telling Kelly to shut the fuck up and chill.

But it gets worse…

 Oh yeah and Kelly’s room smelled  like cat pee as Miss Gonzo stated!  Everyone on the blogs  was saying meth smells like cat pee! I looked it up! Its true! Check out this link and it also says that people who do that shit smell like cat pee, sweat a lot and have an unkempt appearance and think everyone is out to get them! That’s Kelly to a ‘T’. Plus she is scary looking too which is also part of being a meth-head. I’m just saying!

Joker Face is still crazy and is never going to change. It just get worst.She gets all pissed off and offended because Jacquie sends her flowers, to congratulate  Christine’s on her sucess . Joker Face doesn’t take a hint, does she? Instead of acting as if Jacquie smeared shit all over her front door, she could of called her up to thank her for the flowers . But instead she calls up Jacquie to berate her, while she is sitting with her younger daughter 11 year old Jill, in the kitchen table . Joker Face loves to   suck her daughters into the vortex of the crazy and obsessive ,stalking shit hole, she created. 

  Joker Face is calling and calling Jacquie obsessively and is real weird about it too. Jacquie doesn’t pick up the phone and Joker Face panics.Then  she asks her daughter advice in a very crazy and obsessive way all desperate, Why do you think she don’t pick up? do you think she is not around or she is avoidding me?The little daughter tells her People are busy people have normal lives unlike you crazy bitch!. It amazes me how her own children know that other peep’s have ‘ Normal lives’.  Yeah, and normal people also don’t get all offended  when other people send them flowers and are trying to politely avoid them.

Jacquie was truly avoiding Joker Face and of course Joker Face calls her up again and again leaving a very disturbing and threatening voice mail. Notice how when she asked the daughter to leave the room, she didn’t have to ask her twice. Jill jetted out of there like the kitchen caught on fire. Must be horrible having to be raised by a psychotic, obsessive nightmare who was spawned by satan.Hopefully with all the money Christine makes from modeling she can afford some psychiatric therapy for her and her sister, because God knows they’re gonna need it!

That bitch just harrasses and keeps driving people nuts, she also bullied that real state agent woman, who is trying to unsucessfully sell her house in a bad market. If the house doesn’t sell she will blame the agent for that . I feel sorry for anyone who has to deal with Joker Face.

Teresa dragged Joe to this event and you could tell he didn’t even want to go because it’s not a ‘macho’ thing, he was complaining while on the seats waiting for the show to start . He was also teasing Gia in the car while driving to the event, telling her she was gonna walk the ugly stage, thinking he was funny, and little Gia was crying. But was proud pappa later ,when Gia walked the runway and that sort of made up for it. Out of the 2 girls I think Christine did okay in her walk,  she is modelish looking but didn’t have ‘the walk ‘ down, but Gia knows ‘the walk’  and was all into it. Christine is not that ‘into it’. It’s all about Joker Face, she just wants that meal ticket to make her money.

Joker Face looks like one of those novelty shrunken heads with the long stringy hair! All sucked up and fugly! I am glad that her children don’t look like her and abtually have common sense. I bet she is happy that Christine is now going to make her a lot of money to buy more crack. They had a ‘run way coach’  for Christine who was a Flaming Queen so you know he knew his shit .

The Queen was ignoring Joker Face’s imput, because the Bitch kept trying to brag about her imaginary modeling days, which I know the runway coach knows was a bunch of bullshit. He probably watches the show and I am sure he has access to the Internet so he can see thought Joker Face’s bullshit. Yeah, and I bet the only modeling she ever did was when she was humping that pole for $1’s and $5’s in  a room full of drunken men. Christine finally told Joker Face she was annoyed with her because she gets in her last nerve.

 Joker Face not only obsesses with harassing people into being her friends, but also likes to obsess and hope that other people are jealous of her daughters success and doesn’t want to believe others feel genuinely happy for Christine.Joker Face also insist that Teresa is jealous of her daughters success. Joker Face wants everybody to be jealous of her and  like the cunt she is, she had to start ragging on little Gia saying she is 4 foot tall and not model material like Christine. BITCH SHE IS 8 YEARS OLD OF COURSE SHE IS GONNA BE 4 FOOT TALL! What a low budget bitch ! 

 After the cat walk Christine had to stand there for 25 minutes like a mannequin and threw up  in front of God and everybody . Christine  got sick of Joker Face being up her ass. Joker Face was not even that concerned about Christine but more about the fact that this puke scene may affect Christine’s modeling career in a negative way and mess up her plans to live off her daughters modeling money.

We also learned that Dina is a closet hippie. (I KNEW IT!) And Joe is a pot head who shows up 3 hours late to dinner stinking like weed with eyes swollen Gia outed him! HA HA HA! Teresa keeps bragging that her an Joe have sex 3 times a day , yada, yada ,yada!

Next week Teresa gives birth, and Joker Face hires a homeless crackhead who just got out of jail, to go with her to the Manzo’s mansion and bully them into forcefully letting her play with them. Also something about a ‘Tumor’. The crackhead is an excon. Click here to find out some scandalous shit about him! If that’s the same guy.That Bitch hangs around some scary ass people, and then brings them around her children! But then again what da’ ya’ expect from a ‘Prostitution Whore’.

The best part of the whole episode was Gia and her walk!

Last week we got to see more of Danielle’s psychosis when she found out that  she can pimp out her young daughter to the big modeling agencies. Joker Face was all worried that her daughter will get emancipated and ditch her crazy ass. Because in the back of her head she knows her kids are sick of her and her downral spiral of crazy. Her daughter will later make millions pack up her shit and run away from Joker Face, far, far away from her.

Joker Face then went and threw a luncheon for her daughter Christine. Joker Face asks Christine for her input,on who she should invite and Christine said ‘Not Caroline!’ . After Christine told Joker Face her opinion on guest lists for the luncheon, Joker Face  informed her that even thought the luncheon was in her honor, she was not invited. Christine was not surprised since this is the type of shit Joker Face  does to her all the time.

The purpose of the luncheon is not for Christine, or to celebrate Christine, it was to celebrate the fact that Joker Face was successful in stealing those 2 girls years ago, from some gypsies and now one of them is her golden egg and her ticket to financial freedom that will sure buy her another big house, fancy cars, male hookers,  and a shit load of Coke plus pay for her 2k per month botox bill. This is  the life of Riley that Joker Face wants to live and can have, by pimping her kid out and the little one is next.

Another reason for the luncheon and this is the main reason it was so that Joker Face could either A) start a bitch slapping hair pulling mosh-pit if those other bitches happened to show up, or B)  Gossip about the other Bitches and intimidate new ho’s that she forced at gunpoint to show up to the Danielle Train of Crazy Bitch Luncheon, to declare their loyalty to her. 

Notice how Joker Face did not acknowledge or send a card, a balloon or even a fucking turd on a plate when Jacquie’s baby Nick was born? But gets all butt hurt when none of them showed up to her luncheon, that was not even for her daughter but all about her crazy stalking  obsession with the other women. Since Nick’s birth was not about HER, she don’t give a monkeys ass. What a fucked up Beotch!

Since none of the other ho’s showed up Joker Face then went ahead with plan B and Gossiped about the other Bitches and intimidated some poor ho’  her  loyalty to her.

What’s up with the Kim’s in that town anyways ? This time it was  another ho’  also named Kim, who was invited to the luncheon who was the 2 face skank in this episode.This Bitch was kissing on  Joker Face’s ass,but she seemed to  be  two faced because Joker Face was making her all uncomfortable and pressuring into kissing her ass. 

Joker Face starts interrogating the Bitch Are you my friend or do you belong to Caroline? If you like Caroline then get the fuck out of here or I will come to your house later and wont come alone! The bitch got all intimidated and told Joker Face I’m your friend Joker Face! I’m not friends with Caroline our sons are friends, me and her are not friends! Please don’t hurt me! Then Joker Face was happy and told her she wasn’t going to kill her unless she pisses he off and talks to Caroline or any of her other enemies.

Did ya’ notice how when Kim G tells Joker Face that she is not friends with Caroline, Joker Face kinda jerks her head side ways, in a very dramatic junkie boogie crack head sort of way?Yeap that Bitch is hitting the crack pipe.What a psychotic pain in the ass Joker Face is!

LuAnn ended up inviting Alex to the Cocktail Clitore for the homeless shingdig. But I guess Bethenny did not grovel at their asses enough to be invited. While at the Clitore party not much action went on other than LuAss bitching at Alex for smacking Jill around with the message last time.

 Alex was also confronted by Bobby, who tells Alex Jill came home crying and Jill never cries, because she is usually the one that makes Alex cry who is usually so nice. And Bobby is surprised at her behavior and begs Alex to apologize to Jill, wheter Jill is right or wrong, because Bobby is tired of dealing with crazy Jill complaining day and night, about how Alex delivered her that God awful message.

Jill cryed to Kelly who is her new ‘pet project and tells Kelly, she didn’t want to make up with Bethenny before because, she dind’t have her cheat notes to keep her lies straight.

Even though Jill cried to Bobby about how incredibly mean Alex was to her, and told him to tell Alex to apologize to her, she still avoided Alex like the plague the minute she saw Alex approaching her. This was carefully crafted by Jill in order to kill any chance of Alex apologizing to Jill, making Jill look more like the poor fragile victim. 

 Ramona also berates Alex for delivering that ‘messague’. I think all the alcohol has short circuit some of Ramona’s thought pattern, because it doesn’t make sense that she would stick up for Jill the Pill; after all, they both tried to shit on each others events.

Bethenny finally gets a call from her dad to see him and she gets to see him before he died.

LuAnn is flirting with some short 50 year old, lesbian named Courtney, at ‘The Kelly event for asking people if they wear underwear’. LuAnn brags that she is working on a song , because suddenly she is a singer too! That short lesbian asks LuAnn out. You can tell Courtney, must have bad coffin breath, because she is chewing on a lot of gum. 

That Jennifer Gilbert bitch is shown a little more here and says that,  whatever the fuck LuAnn’s date is  it ‘ Has bad hair and is gay!’. She also mocks Alex when she leaves by asking her why she is leaving in a condensending tone: ‘Is it something we said?’ I bet this Bitch is also gonna be Jill’s lap dog.

Simon dogs Alex and sits between Jill and Gonzo’s legs. You can tell Gonzo was all exicted. When they got home Alex smacked him with a hot spatula for that.

Ramonas daughter doesn’t see the stupid point of her parents wedding renewal, since mom and dad cheat on each other constantily, and the dress ramona wants to choose is ugly and the whole thing is ‘RIDICULOUS!’ And Avery wants a black dress!

Jill dictates to Kelly how she should talk. And tells her she says ‘like’too much. So she starts to count the ‘likes’ and tells Kelly she is gonna train her on how to talk properly, because people are not taking her seriously when she says like too much, so she smacks Kelly upside down the head with a rolled up newspaper and counts everytime Kelly says ‘like’.

Kelly just laughs, and still follows Jill around and proudly admits she is Jill’s, ‘pet project’.Stupid Bitch don’t realize Jill can’t stand her in reality, and she just talks to her to piss off Bethenny. So Jill is just using her! But Kelly is too stupid to notice.

Ramona invites all the Bitches to her bachelorete party while having lunch at the fancy smancy Four Seasons and they all flirt with some old fart.

Jill uses this opportunitu to take digs at Sonja and asks her personal questions and Sonja uses this opportunity to brag that she too was a ‘model’. Jill says, Really? Are u sure you weren’t a cocktail waitress selling tricks on the side when you met your sugar grandpapi? You’re also short! You can’t be a model lying Bitch!

Jill also says that Ramona’s wedding renewal is stupid!

And finally round 2 between Jill and Alex. When the Bitches arrive at Jennifer’s house she opens the door and says ‘ Everyone is asleep behind closed doors!’ What the fuck is that mean? Was that her way of telling those loud ass ho’s to keep it down? Uhmm?

 Jill, LuAnn,  Ramona, Kelly and that new Bitch Jennifer where at the party and Ramona announces to the room full of drunken menopausal bitches that Bethenny send her an email telling her that Bethenny’s dad had died. Jill blows up at Ramona because she dind’t tell her first. And Ramona tells Jill she didn’t read the text until after she was donne with her workday so she didn’t email anybody but Jill doesn’t understand that because she doesn’t have to work. Jill smacks Ramona in a screaming bitch slapping match and Ramona lets her.

 All those people behind closed doors at that bitches house are awake now.

That new ho’ Jennifer tries to smooth things out by talking to Jill and kissing her ass. Jill totally and rudely ignores whatever spewage that dumb ass Jennifer was farting out of her mouth and just like a 13 year old runs in Jennifer’s pantry to cry. NICE! So Jill disses the new ho’ at her house at her party! NICE!

Jill’s pet project follows her in the pantry and kisses her ass too. It was funny as fucking hell when that Jennifer Bitch went in the pantry and didn’t say anything to Jill or Behemoth just physically kicked them out of the pantry! AWKWARD!

Gonzo walks in the middle of the Afganistan war already in progress.

 And finally Alex shows up with her Brooklyn gloves on and tells Jill ‘I got your text messague earlier, HOW COULD YOU!’ And she goes on , Bitch you were trying to gossip and you’re a piece of shit, Shut up and listen to me stupid ho’!

Alex was all screaming at that Bitch Jill about how when Bethenny’s dad died she was trying to use his death to gossip. Then Jill got all upidty and tells her ‘EXCUME ME DON’T YOU EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!’.

Alex loses it and yells at Jill, YOU’RE A MEAN GIRL AND YOU ARE IN HIGH SCHOOL!’ AND WHILE YOU’RE STUPID ASS IS IN HIGH SCHOOL I’M IN BROOKLYN TRYIN TO SURVIVE IN THIS FUCKED UP ECONOMY! BITCH I’M FROM BROOKLYN AND I’M AT BROOKLYN TRYING TO HUSTLE AND I’M A WORKING MOM! AND I HAVE NO PROBLEM PUNCHING YOU IN YOUR FAT MOUTH YOU STUPID BITCH!

Jill just laughs at Alex with an evil grin in her face and spits in Alex face and says: Then go back to Brooklyn you peasant broke ass ho’ you ain’t got no money and no social status, and we just won’t be in the same social circle! Go back to Brooklyn you ghetto ass low rent bitch!

Then Jill continues reminding Alex and rubbing it in Alex’s face, that they shouldn’t be in the same social circles, since Jill is so much richer and mocks Alex by telling Alex ‘You’re a better person than I am!’ But I still have mo’ money than you dumb bitch!

You can tell Jill was very much enjoyin herself because she knows she is much more better off financially than Alex and when Alex brought up that she is a ‘working mom’ this gave Jill fuel to piss on Alex’s fire, then she was apologizing to Jennifer for Alex behavior as if Alex is an unimportant savage who is not allowed to be pissed after the way Jill’s been shitting on her for the last 2 years. the CountAss was also mocking Alex and Gonzo was rolling up her eyes cause she don’t give a shit about broke ass ho’s. 

Jill also kept interrupting and not listening to Alex as if she was an annoying child who needed to be ignored, to be taught a lesson.  That Bitch is Evil! And after Alex left frustrated, she sat there with the fatest grin in her face. But Karma is a Bitch Jill!

Bethenny is sitting with her assistant getting ready for her morning. Her assistant finds the Perez Hilton’s post that first announced that Bethenny was pregnant last October .Bethenny can’t figure out how Perez Hilton found out about her pregnancy, since she didn’t tell anybody, she only told her assistant, her best friend on the phone, and the 8 men camera crew who filmed her pissing on the stick while taking her pregnancy test. Gee  I wonder how that could of possibly gotten out?

 But all fingers point to Jill of course, maybe Jill was digging in Bethenny’s trash and found the disposed pregnancy test.Bethenny is freaking out . I remember when this shit happened back in October, but I only posted it after Hilton posted it.Bethenny is having a conniption fit and her assistant tells her to come down.Bethenny express that she has to now tell Jason and she is clearly upset.

LuAnn is visiting Sonja to check out the sections of her palatial townhouse for the Couture Skankass party. Supposedly this party they throwing is to donate the items to the homeless. Yeah like the homeless are gonna wear that gown that Alex wore to the opera that cost  like 10 grand. I can just see some homeless bag lady wearing that outfit at the NYC soup kitchen on a fancy night out.

Sonja tells LuAnn that they can smoke cigarettes or cigars outside on her patio and takes LuAnn out on the patio. Yeah, that makes sense LuAnn’s voice sounds like she’s been  smoking a lot of menthol’s since she was 12. Maybe that’s why Gonzo told her that shit, that she can smoke outside.

Gonzo warns LuAnn of the poop outside. LuAnn says she is stepping over a mindfill of shit and gets wet dog crap all over her suede boots. Then she starts cursing in French to make sure everyone knows she speaks French.

Sonja says that her lazy ass housekeeper is not there to pick up the dog  shit today, and she can’t be bothered with cleaning that, so LuAnn will just have to wipe her foot on the  patio stone because she is not letting her wash her cheap ass Target boots in her sink .Like Jill. Jill washes shit shoes in her sink like in last episode with the vet’s shoe.

What the fuck is up with Gonzo’s freaky statues in the backyard that shit looks like something out of that movie the Shinning.

Jill calls LuAnn and LuAnn puts Jill on speaker. Jills says to LuAnn Where are you bitch? Why aren’t you here up my ass?and since LuAnn is now Jill’s butt sniffing lap dog, she tells her that she is at Gonzo’s house shooting the shit. LITERALY!

Did ya’ all see Jill’s face? That Bitch looked all pissed that LuAnn wans’t paying homage to Queen Jill, kneeling at her throne,sniffing her fat culo. 

Jill is not liking this Sonja character, you can clearly see how flamingly pissed and jealous Jill is of this woman already. Jill wants to dick slap those two bitches through the phone if she could .

Jill ask LuAnn if she send her an e-vite for the  Cocktail Clitore party.  LuAnn tells Jill she already send an e-vite and ask Jill if she got it. Jill orders LuAnn to send her an evite for the Cocktail and Cliture party because the piece of shit e-vite she send her was not enough.

Jill tells LuAnn but ‘ I can tell you didn’t put that much thought into it!’Of course since LuAnn is on Jill’s payroll, right now as her guard dog, she doesn’t talk back to Jill. If it was Alex that said the shit Jill said to  the Countless, she would of  punched Alex in the mouth through the phone somehow, but since it was Jill who pays her for being her bitch she doesn’t dare spew any sass back to Queen Jill.

 Then Jill spills the beans that Bethenny is pregnant .

 Jill also demands gossip. Did ya’ all see Gonzo’s face? Bitch looks like a frozen wax figure, bitch better stay away from open flames or she may start crying ‘I’M MELTING I’M MELTING!’ She can’t move her upper lip and she has a permanent surprise look on her face . However I am liking this Gonzo Bitch simply because Jillous is jealous of her. HA HA HA!

 All the bitches start discussing how Bethenny had a little ‘bubble’ on her belly  and how she looked preggers at the last party. Then LuAnn brings up that Bethenny just got engaged and insinuates that this is the reason she is hurrying up and getting married.

 Then Gonzo says ‘that’s the European way! first you get pregnant and then you get married”. Yeah, well that’s the hillbilly way too first ya’ get knocked up then you have a shotgun wedding. But Bethenny needed that so its all good. Jill is so jealous of Gonzo and LuAnn hanging out together and out- yentaing her .

Jill of course has to give her expert advice and opinion on Bethenny and says that Bethenny shouldn’t be talking about the pregnancy because she is not pregnant enough. Then Jill decides she is going to send Bethenny messages, telling her to keep her pregnancy a secret even thought Jill is the one who told Perez Hilton after she found that used pregnancy test that said positive, while she was digging in Bethenny’s trash , that one day.

 LuAnn admits that Bethenny blocked her from Twitter. LuAnn asks Jill if she should invite Bethenny to this party and Jill says to LuAnn ‘I dont know why since she callewd you a snake but that’s yo’ business!’ yo’ stupid bitch! then LuAnn tells her that Bethenny apologized. See LuAnn has to run it by Jill first to see if Queen Jill approves it!

LuAnn comes to a compromise with Jill and says, lets do this since we don’t really like Bethenny anyways lets see if she will kiss our ass first, and then we’ll invite her and woop her ass at the party. How’s that sound?

 Gonzo tries to cut Bethenny some slack by saying that Bethenny is under a lot of stress because she is preggers and getting hitched, but LuAnn looks at her like she is gonna smack her with the phone ala Naomi Campbell for that remark.

And now Bethenny has to tell Jason that her pregnancy leaked to the blogosphere .  You can tell this guy is pissed , but see here is the thing when you are on a reality TV show, this kind of shit may happen guys. It sucks but this is what you gotta remember.

Jason says he can’t handle this level of bullshit and that he knew her life was in the public eye but this is ridiculous. Then he tells Bethenny not to yell at him. I didn’t hear her yelling thats just the way she talks . He better start getting used to it.

Damn! If this it how he was freaking out about when her pregnancy leaked imagine how much he flipped when Jill was posting on FB that the baby was a boy he better get used to this circus fast. It’s so funny that Bethenny is 39 and having a baby I just thought about that shit when I’m her age  my kid is gonna be 19. Which makes me more exicted for her because she waited to have a baby for so long !

 This is where they introduce Jennifer . Jill japs her mouth in full mothor mouth mode. She is name dropping about how she knows Donald Trump and Ghandi and Jimi Hendrix.

Jill also decides that since this is HER skating party and she does not like to eat while she is skating no one else should be able to eat regular food either .

Jill’s menu consist of  an assload of junk food and also some lamb chops because she wants to take them to Ginger . Jill don’t give a flying fuck what everone else would like to eat it’s what she likes to eat and the food she ordered did not go together , Jamba Juice, cupcackes, hot chocolate, pigs in blankets and frozen chicken fingers, plus the lambchops.

Sonja Gonzo decides she needs to get a tuck on her flabby belly and says she rather have the doctor tuck it than do any sit ups because that takes effort. So she drags Ramona, who is good at snooping on people, to this back alley surgeons office who graduated from the Tijuana online school. 

Since Ramona loooves to research and question people until they want to shoot her, she shows up wasted and ready to confront the so called doctor. Then she asks the doctor why the fuck he is drunk at 9 in the morning and why there is a blanket of dust and dirty magazines on his desk the doctors admits those magazines are from 1973 when he was fired from the hospital and has no hospital benefits. Ramona then yells, I WOULDN’T LET YOU DO SURGERY ON LUANN’S PECKER AND I HATE THAT BITCH!

The doctor was all embarrassed and says that he is not drunk but has been hitting the funny gas in the office. Even thought the doctor is questionable Sonja Gonzo is still having him do her tummy tuck because the doctor has performed some surgeries on famous models like Kelly’s divorced teeties and Sonja is a doofus like that so she is just gonna do it anyways against drunken Ramona’s advice.

Bethenny calls Alex to tell her that she is having a baby Hoppy. Alex asks Beth if she is having Perez Hilton’s blue haired babies Bethenny says only nine of them. Bethenny also informs Alex that she got an email from Jill the Pill telling her to keep her pregnancy business private, even thought it was more than likely Jill herself who told him.

Bethenny informs Alex she is not going to attend Ramona’s skin care party because she may run into Jill and she don’t fell like throwing down now that she is preggers, so she asks Alex to deliver a message to Jill and tell her to stay the FUCK out of her life and she never wants to have ANYTHING to do with  her loud mouth and fake ass red hair again. EVER! Alex says that she has a fire of hell in her belly and will gladly deliver that bitch the message, and will have no problem punching her in the face  too, because she just wants to do it for her own vengeance purposes since she hates that rude stuck up Bitch anyways.

Alex says she is tired of all the years of bullshit that Jill has put her through. She says Jill treats her like she is some fucking peasant not worthy to be listened to or sit next to Queen Zarin and she is going to put an end to that bullshit by going Brooklyn on her harpy ass.  FINALLY ALEX IS GOING TO REPRESENT SOME BROOKLYN! Dont be ashamed chica say it loud say it proud I’M FROM BROOKLYN! And then punch that ho’ make sure you make her spell Brooklyn with her teeth while she picks them up from the floor after you’r done with her.

Jill and Bobby are doing some cheesey interwiew to promote It’s all about Queen Jill FabricsZarin frabrics. The interviewer asks Bobby the firtst question and Jill bulldozes, interrupts and takes over because she feels her husband is taking too long to answer and she is losing her patiente. After Jill rudely takes over she starts selling the fabrics prices an all. She totally steals Bobby’s thunder, she is good at that, and this is after she told Bobby this was his night. But what do you expect from this Bitch after all she is the one who wanted to jump the gun and be the first one to announce Bethenny’s baby birth,even thought she had the baby’s gender and weight  all wrong.

Sonja Gonzo consults with an Gypsy Old Crone . The Crone was like 300 lbs and was missing some teeth and hair. That’s how you know if they’re for real . This Bitch must be for really real. Maybe Alex can hire her later and get the six winning numbers for the lottery so she can shove it in Jill’s face after the draw.

We then are taken to some event where Countless LuAnn is promoting her bullshit ass book Classless with the CountAss. Jill show up loud and late slams open the door and yells ‘IT’S ALL ABOUT ME BITCHES!’ She then proceeds to act disruptive  and more  loud while LuAnn is trying to read her pitch, because just like she said at the beggining it’s all about her and even this event for CountAss has to be all about her one way or another. SO SUCK ON THAT!

 Jill is using her blackberry, the whole time  LuAnn was up on the stage trying to peddle her book because she desperately needs the money to eat and pay for gigolos.  Jill the Pill and Behemoth are talking away Jill is also using her blackberry, and LuAnn  gets all pissed off at her bestie Jill, who is dissing her at her own function. LuAnn starts talking about how it is rude manners to walk in late and looks at Jill, but Jill doesn’t get it because it’s all about Jill not the CountAss and her cheesey book.

 Then out of the blue rude ass gettho Jill yells at the audience if anyone has a brother for LuAnn because she is desperate and hasn’t had any dick in about 6 months, since the Count left her for that younger hotter ho’ and he took all the money LuAnn needed to pay for male-whores.

 I am was waiting for Jill to just shove LuAnn out of the way and take over the mike to give that public service announcement to help LuAnn out by airin out all her personal sex life to God and everyone else. Fucking crazy Bitch! LuAnn was all irritated and pissed about these 2 ho’s talking throught her speech and walking in late.  I doubt this will get brought up during the reunion unless LuAss is done being Jill’s underdog by then.

And now Ramona’s Tru- Ho Skincare party. Kelly shows up with no pants of course just wearing her tranny panties . This Bitch needs to get off the meth, she looked like she was ready to go to her other part-time gig as a street walker after the party. Meth cost a lot of money.

Jill says that she is pissed that Ramona wrecked her Kodak event and that she is going to be the bigger person by shitting all over Ramona’s thingymagigy after monkey punching her in the nose.

 Jill shows up with her boxing gloves on , ready to charge at Ramona . Jill picks up a brochure from the display table  and the first thing out of her fat mouth was how fugly Ramona looks on those pictures, ‘THAT’S NOT HUW, THEY ROIN HUW! THIS ISN’T HUW FAWCE? WHO IS THIS? THIS IS REAW BAD BOTOX OW SOMEONE PHOTOSHOPED THE FUCK OUT HUW!’

 Bitch was being real loud. But you know she wanted to not only be the bigger person but also the loudest, most obnoxious one.

 Jill continues her rampage about teaching Romaine Lettuce with example. What exactly is she teaching her, that she can be just as physco and irritating if not worse. Jill the Pill went on and on about how Romaine Lettuce’s skincare thingy would go wrong and Ramona is fugly her skin looks like shit and she is serving disgusting unhealthy dog food to her guest. Since all that roach coach junk food Jill  is serving at her Holiday skanking, party is far more healthier.

Bethenny sends a bottle of  booze and a baby announcement .  And Bitch Jill is pissed that she was not told and bitches about how Bethenny’s life is the public eye and blah blah blah! Well ya’ all in a reality TV show what the fuck you think happens? Your life is in a fishbowl. DUMB ASS!

Then the Messenger bullshit. Alex and Simon show up and Alex has a gun in her purse. Alex walks up to Jill and says hi to her, I have a messague for you, Bethenny never wants to see you or talk to you again! Then she shoots her. Kelly then  she flaps her arms around  and says some dumb bull about the messenguer always gets killed. Alex looks at her and says not always Bitch, and shoots her too. Not really, but that’s how it really should of happened but instead Alex stumbles her ‘delivery’.

 At first Jill thinks Alex is preggers also. Everybody keeps interrupting Alex and Jill just keeps laughing at her like, Bitch whatever you have to say ain’t important, you ain’t nobody important But finally after like 20 minutes of Alex breaking out in hives and repeating ‘I have a delivery’  she finally tells Jill, in front of everyobody else, that  Bethenny said FUCK OFF! And that she doesn’t want anything to do with her crazy ass anymore.

At that moment it’s like someone scratches the record and everyone gets all pissed off, even Ramona who dind’t  notice Jill calling her fugly.Jill can’t believe that this peasant ho, had the nerve to put her in her place. And stupid Behemoth keeps repeating ‘the messenguer always gets killed!’, over and over . Then she says that is creepy and fourth grade. No Kelly what’s creepy is those fugly tranny street walker red panties you’re wearing with the high heels that is CREEPY!

Behemoth keeps trying to convice the tranny CountAss to go kill Alex. Everyone ignores Kelly and leaves. Jill goes home to cry to Bobby  and says she is gonna destroy Alex. Alex says she don’t give a rats ass what that miserable Bitch says, and she also don’t give a shit if this changed whatever relationship she had, or did not have with Jill the Pill. Alex says she is gonna go Brooklyn again on Jill if she has to, and she don’t regret it. Then she yells, FUCK THAT BITCH!

What did I say Bitches! What did I say in one of my recent recaps about  how CounAss wanted some Maxi. Remember?

 Maximiliano Palacio who dated Kelly Behemoth and humped her pink boots in public, he was also Sonja Gonzo’s once a week fuck boy may also be working for Countless LuAnn DeLa Mierda. Maxi-padded is  an actor from Argentina who appears in Spanish TV commercials and is going to be hosting some Bootey-Call show on Telemundo.

I can just see this fool on a Spanish Telenovela. Like the ones my mom used to watch all Hershey squirt-cheesey for your tacky pleasure! Ah good times!

There you have it Bitches, Maximiliano Palacio Spanish Actor/Male-Whore. I guess when he is not acting in Spanish dating shows he is giggologing his ass to 75 year old, desperate, divorced, cougars who have not ever seen a cock, that’s less than 35 years old since before they married their 85 year old, Sugar Grand Papies. DAMN THAT GROSS!

No shit! Jill Zarin’s insanity and evil ways has driven people to write out a petition to kick her off the show! Never in all the house wrecks history has a woman pissed off people so much,that they are petitioning to fire her from Real Housewives. WOW!

Click here for the link to the petition. Thanks to reader Rebecca.

Last Friday when Bethenny went into labor several reliable sources posted that she had gone into early labor . However nothing official was posted that she gave birth . 

Suddenly a Tweeter by the name of TweetMaxine had Tweeted that Bethenny had delivered a baby boy, and later on that day, Jill Zarin took to her FaceBook and posted that Bethenny had delivered a 6 pound baby boy.

 After Jill posted that bullshit announcement Radaronline had also posted the same thing. I bet Jill is the one that called them and then they posted that, I dind’t see anything anywhere else that was more reliable or solid that said otherwise . The next day on Saturday is when Bethenny abtually delivered her baby girl and an official announcement was made on Eonline.

 Sometime after that I believe it was Sunday Jill hid behind her daughter Ally and stated that Ally had read a Tweet and a blog that Bethenny delivered a boy on Friday and this was the reason Jill went and delivered those news because she was excited.  This was Jill’s explanation:

“Yesterday [my daughter] read a tweet and blog that Bethenny gave birth. We were excited and congratulated her obviously prematurely. I should have waited until B announced it herself. Sorry.”

What a fucking liar! I searched everywhere Friday to see if Bethenny delivered a boy and the only place that said that was Radaronline which like I said before I bet Jill is the one that called them to tell them of Bethenny’s fake delivery. Jill is also trying to make good with everyone and of course including Bethenny and set up a photoshoot of her buying the baby a gift. She thinks if she buys baby a gift all is good again. Dumb Ass!

Simon Van Kempen also clowned on Jill and  send these Tweets Saturday:

“A new best seller “The Lies of Susan Saunders” syndicated in a gossip column near you. (Warning – hide your cat)”

“Nothing secret about it RT @_StephanieLeigh @simonvankempenI think Jill’s next book should be entitled “Secrets of a gossiping jewish yenta.”

Will any of you Bitches be signing the petition or do you think Jill is good for drama?

Radaronline and other sources like Realitytea and Jill the Pill  reported that Bethenny Frankel gave birth to a 6 lb. 8 ounce baby boy, on this Mother’s day weekend. But Bethenny just Tweeted that she has a baby named Bryn and Radaronline just updated their post that Bethenny had a little girlweighing a healthy 4 pounds, 12 ounces born at 8am Saturday. Whatever the gender of the baby  is a  major blessing !

Here is Bethenny’s Tweet:

I can’t express how happy I am&how beautiful,supportive&thoughtful u all are.Bryn is a tiny beautiful peanut.new chapter begins.thank you

The baby was supposed to be born in June but decided to come a full month early.

Jill the Pill was posting on her FB last night that Bethenny had a baby boy and Ramona reported Beth going into labor via Tweetter.  I will update as soon as  it becomes official, I don’t know if Bryn is a girl or boy name.

As you can see Jill is still trying to be in Bethenny’s business even thought Bethenny made it clear she dind’t want anything to do with Jill anymore. Methinks Jill went and told Radaronline about the baby news.

I sure hope Bethenny doesn’t allow any of Jill’s meddling upset her awesome Mother’s day weekend . Bethenny has wanted a baby and a husband for a long time and this Bitch really deserved it . I wish her all the happiness! And happy Mother’s day weekend to all you Bitches that read my blog. 

Update it’s a girl. Per Eonline. 

It was reported earlier today that Bethenny Frankel’s water broke at around 12:45am on Thursday and she is gonne into labor! She was due in June but that baby is coming early. I wonder if Queen Jill is gonna be pissed that the water dind’t report to Jill to get clearance before breaking.

 Let’s hope everything is okay with that baby.  Goddess bless bless that baby let everything be okay with both Beth and the baby.

First order of business. Ginger poops all over her vet. Jill called in a vet that does house calls because Ginger has pooping problems . When the dog saw the vet she pooped all over Jill’s carpet and furniture and also the vet’s shoes. That little tiny 3 pound dog pooped 80 pounds worth of diarrhea and somehow smeared it all over Jill’s hideous apartment while she flied up in the air. It was hilarious. Jill was freaking out. I think Ginger was letting Jill know what she thinks of all this hate on Bethenny campaign Jill has been riding on all season and also what she thinks of Jill’s apartment and how Jill is  living the advice she gives in her book. See even the dog knows!

Bethenny is visiting Alex and is hanging out with her, making salad at Alex’s goth brothel. Bethenny says Alex is an unconditional friend and a low maintenance friend unlike some Jill people. Bethenny says she is happy she is hanging around someone nice and normal for a change and not some crazy ho’ who wants to be up your ass everyday bitching and  nagging and trying to direct what game to play next. Bethenny tells Alex she is engaged but not that she is preggers. Alex and Bethenny are buddy buddy now, they seem to fit as friends better than Bethenny and Jill did. I can see the light now!

Next Ramona and Sonja Gonzo meet for lunch. Ramona and Sonja reminisce about the time when they met at that one hooker corner where they were both selling their asses, and Sonja says that Ramona was getting more tricks to pick her up. When she found out how old Ramona was , she was amazed because Ramona looks good for her age. Ramona says since she is 80, she is telling people she is 49 plus. She really does look good for her age.

Ramona asks Sonja what she thought of Kelly.We find out that Kelly does the same shit to Sonja Gonzo that she did to Bethenny .Kelly and Sonja know a lot of the same people in their fabulous circle of fucktards they swirl in, and Sonja knows Kelly for like a 100 years but stupid ass Kelly just acts like she don’t know Sonja. Apparently Kelly only talks to the boys Sonja screws and just waits in the ‘trenches’ for Gonzo’s left overs, like a starving Hyena. Ramona says that’s just ‘typical Kelly’ , she never remembers women just men. Gonzo tells Ramona that Kelly also did not admit to Sonja that she also fucked Sonja’s sloppy left overs, Max; even thougtht Kelly was right there listening to Sonja’s erotic and raunchy stories about Max. Kelly is a weird Bitch.

Kelly is at home with her 2 daughters whom she’s never cooked for before in her life , this is the first time she is cooking for both of them.Kelly has no idea where everything is in that kitchen, then she burns the pancakes and the spatula she also makes a nasty mess in the kitchen. Her eldest daughter is trying to explain to her where everything is and how to cook the damn pancakes . Kelly can’t follow instructions from her child who is now yelling at her and tells her ‘mom you can’t cook get out the way and I will do it!’ The daugher totally takes over and starts cooking. You can tell that kid has to do all the cooking at home because Kelly is incapable of doing it, because of her condition, and either   the child cooks food or they all starve. Stupid Kelly first she can’t use a camera and next she can’t cook. I wonder how much coke she did in the 70’s and 80’s that it fried her brain useless.

Ramona wants her daughter Avery to be a maid of honor in her marriage renewal thingy and finally convinces her with a brive.  Moving on that was boring.

LuAnn is out looking for an apartment in the city and runs into Kelly outside one of the buildings. Kelly tags along.

LuAnn can’t find a place to live because the Bitch has Champange taste with beer budget and can’t afford the 18k rents. She keeps bitching about everything with the apartments she sees. Either they’re too small, too ugly, the windows overlook a wall and other buildings, there is no room for her king size bed where she has all her orgies and on and on. What the fuck does this bitch expect? It’s New York she will be seeing other buildings in front and things like, that and it is expensive as hell! Even I know that, and I don’t live there. LuAnn was calling the places crappy and saying they were depressing and all kinds of crazy shit wasting the real state agents time and being a total bitch.

LuAnn tries to explain it away, by saying being married to the crusty old count afforded her the life of Riley but now she can no longer afford that because the settlement apparently wasn’t enough. LuAnn tries to say she is an uptown girl.   LuAnn says that there is not much out there for the money she wants to spend. LuAnn is horrified with a spacious apartment that has some big nice windows that overlook the concrete depressing jungle. It is depresing but it is an expensive concrete jungle so what the hell does she want? . LuAnn should just admit that she is gonna have to move to Brooklyn. Oh wait that ’s too luxurious for her, she is gonna have to move to Queens or Harlem.

Lisa jumps in bed with Jill to remind Jill that Jewish mothers put their dogs ahead of their children. Really? You don’t say?Then they start pushing their book,  and it turns into an argument over some chicken soup shit, while they’re arguing  Gloria comes in and gives those Bitches advice about not wearing chiffon on your wedding on Christmas day. I wonder how wasted Gloria was? Wait a minute if she is Jewish how come she is giving advice over Christmas days and how does she know which day is Christmas? Oh well the mysteries of the universe.Jill is shuffling through family pictures and we see some embarrassing picture of Ally as a baby and Gloria flips out because somebody is smiling at a funeral in one of the pictures .

Kelly and LuAnn meet Sonja for drinks at the Hampton’s to  try and pick up some 20 year old gigolos so that they can have a swap the gigolo orgy later. While they wait for the male hookers to start showing up Kelly expresses her concern over Ramona’s insanity and suggest she gets on medication for the crazies. LuAnn makes sure she tells Kelly to not call Ramona ‘Crazy eyes’ because LuAnn copy righted that one.

 While all these Ho’s were sitting there, the conversation shifted to cheating husbands. Sonja asks Kelly if her husband cheated on her and that’s why she left his ass. Kelly sits there saying ‘no,’ and that stupid LuAnn says she don’t want to talk about that shit. Then LuAnn has the nerve  to deny ever having that problem! WHAT? REALLY BITCH REALLY? OOOKAAAY THEN! Now she is not just a Countess but also a Queen of Denial! Damn! This Bitch is delusional. Gonzo kept bringing up Max to see if that Bitch Kelly would admit she bumped fuglies with him. But Kelly wasn’t admitting to that shit. UUUHH! I know where the  next cat scratching bitch slapping fest is gonna come from.

 Ramona says she has a great relationship with her peons assistants . Ramona is pissed off that a certain item didn’t have a label. She asks her servant girl ‘were is the label?’ the poor peon answers all scared with a trembling voice ‘there is no label’ and Ramona goes ape shit and smacks her and yells ‘EITHTER DO IT RIGHT OR DON’T DO IT AT ALL!’Then she continues yelling at them and throwing shit at them. Those 2 Bitches were afraid to death of her.

 Bitch was screaming and throwing items around, and smacking peons  with her shoes and shit, then she would pour Pinot Grigio in her shoes and drink then scream some more gibberish slurry  shit, because by this time she was more wasted, going ‘no no no no I doon’t gutt itt I juust doon’t gutt itt!’ Then she  stumbles around screaming and randomly smacking the peons that were in her way .Damn that Bitch is crazy! They kept switching to her camera interview, were she says ‘Im an excellent business woman’ Yeah, sure you are after your ninth glass of wine . Must be hard dealing with a drunken bitch that’s starts drinking at9 am. I felt sorry for her assistants.

Kelly is getting her picture taken at another drunken shindig that’s going on. And of course she forgot to take her medication and put her pants on. Bitch was wearing a white t-shirt. NO PANTS! I hope she taped her cock with extra duct tape this time!

Kelly is nervous because she invited the other bitches to the party and she is worried they gonna brawl and embarrass her. Soo ? why did she invite Jill and  Bethenny and also Ramona the Countless and Alex? Oh yeah it’s Kelly were talking about here, and she is as smart as a  donkey’s dingleberry. Jill says she wants to Bitch slap Ramona.

The Countless confronts Mario in Italian, for the new Countless title that Mario baptized LuAnn with. She wants to make sure everyone knows she speaks Italian, just like Teresa from RHONJ. And Mario tells her to drop it, because he was just fucking with her when he said it. LuAnn tells him to fuck off and walks away, murmuring that she is gonna kill him in his sleep.

Bethenny admits they all dressed like a bunch of Amsterdam hookers on the display window during a drunken holiday . Jill rans when she sees Bethenny and after she left, Betehnnyannounces her engagement to Jason. The Countless is drinking beer. Do ya’ all remember last season that ho’ said she don’t drink beer because she is royalty and her shit smells like vanilla, so she wasn’t allowed to drink beer or something to that effect?

That tranny Kelly congratulated Jason on the engagement but ignored Bethenny.  Jason screamed and kinda jumped back when Kelly hugged him to congratulate him because her cock rubbing up on him scared the shit out of him. 

Jill makes the whole thing about her again. And is complaining to the confessional camera about how she got left out of Bethenny’s engagement and blah, blah, blah. Jill just can’t let go and simply congratulate Bethenny.

LuAnn congratulates Bethenny but immediately her reptile tongue sticks out and hisses at   Bethenny for calling her a snake.  Yeah, you are a snake bitch.

Simon was all drunk trying to get stubborn Jill to congratulate Bethenny.

 Finally Jill congratulates Bethenny and hugs Jason for a loong time and grabs his ass too. I guess that’s why Bethenny is exiting the show because besides these bitches specially Jill fucking with her,  she also don’t want all those old crusty Bitches molesting Jason since he is the youngest best looking house husband among all the old sugar daddies . Bethenny was uncomfortable and Jill made it a big deal about the ring because that’s all Jill cares about and it pissed Bethenny off. Jill then says that she wants to try and mend bridges with Bethenny. What a Bitch!