Yes they are coming back next week and they dragged two more Bitches that we get to make fun of too! It’s about time, this 5th season of the OC House Ho’s has been going on too fucking long. And not only that, their story lines are getting depressing. It seems that all the Bitches on this cheesey TV show are a bunch of fakers, posers and wannabees. I was getting tired of Lynne’s eviction, homeless broke ass adventures and Tamra’s foreclosure, insufficient funds and facade of a marriage falling apart at the seams bullshit. It was becoming a ‘downer’ like Lynne would say. Yep, it was really screwing up my high.

 But thank be to the Goddess of Reality TV because the NYC Bitches are gonna be back on March 4th with more cat-fights, bitchery and shenanigans and of course no money problems because one thing I notice is that the NYC ho’s got real money not like those fake ass OC Ho’s (except for Hurricane Vicki who works her french nails to the bone). I want to see Bitches with some real money that will inspire my crazy and that pay their shit on time, and don’t have one foot in the welfare office or embarrasing eviction problems.

Even Silex got some money and that Bitch got fired from her graphic designer job but I don’t see their crazy ass getting foreclose out of their condemned shack in the ghetto part of Brooklyn, ’cause even that ghetto shack costs money.

However there is a rumor swirling around that Silex is not coming back after this third season, because her royal Diva Highness Simon threw a bitch fit because Bravo would not pay him more to make a fool of himself on the show. I guess he gets payed too; he must be considered a honorary housewife.

  Alex Mccord

Alex is gonna be picking a lot of fights with all the other Bitches so she can have more air time, and her look in this picture solidifies that. Look how pissed off  she looks.This Bitch looks like she is ready to tear some Bitches  head off  and piss down her neck. I think she is just cranky because she’s hungry. What does she weight like 80 pounds? Bitch needs a sammich.

  Kelly Bensimon

Here is Kelly Bensimon who looks like she is holding her butt cheeks together,  while sticking out her chest, trying to look seductive for the camera in order to hide from the viewer, the fact that, she is trying not to fart. Really Bitch, really? This is how you gonna posse? HA HA HA! . This is what she was probably thinking to herself while the picture was being shot ‘hurry up and take the damn picture, DAMN YOU! I feel the turd saying hi, and can’t hold it any longer, huuuurrrry!’

  Bethenny Frankel

Bethenny Frankel story line will focus on her recent pregnancy and shotgun wedding before the baby is born. She will also be doing a lot of fighting with Jill Zarin and all of the other Bitches because they can’t stand each other now.

  Jill Zarin

 Our queen bee Jill Zarin will be busy, busy, busy with the usual commitments of an elite New York Socialite, like going to charity balls, shop, shop, shop and boss people around her fabric store including her husband Bobby . Also she will be getting her daughter Ali ready for college so she and Bobby can make Ali’s room into a nakid bondage room. Nice! I can relate to that. I love this Bitch as much as I love Bethenny, because they’re both Bitches with big mouths, too bad these 2 ho’s hate each other now. That screwed with me so much. DAMN IT!

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps

After getting the virtual boot from Count Grandpackula. Countess LuAnn de Lesseps is going to be feautured dating all the available bachelors in New York . Even thought she told Ramona last season it is not appropiate to be galoping  around with so many different dick ; this time it will be her doing it, because Bitch better hurry up and find another suga pappi that can support her lifestyle. She also caught the singing delusion bug that  other bitches like Kim Zolciak and Gretchen Rossi have caught. This season Countess LuAnn will  be the next Barbra Streisand and fail miserably at it.

 Ramona Singer

Ramona Singer is still bat shit crazy because shit like that just can’t be cured. She continues to march to the beat, of her own crazy war drums in her head. And since she is the sister from another mother of Hurricane Vicki Gunvalson she will also be renewing her vowels (misspeled on purpose!) to her husband Mario just like crazy ass Vicki did with Donn this last season. I am sure she will also entertain us with her ‘Ramona Crazy Dance’. That’s a whole lot of Crazy!

Sonja Morgan

 I don’t know who this new Bitch is. Her name is Sonja Morgan,  she is 45. I can tell her and Gretchen Rossi follow the same bulimia and crack diet.

Jennifer Gilbert

This is another new Bitch her name is Jennifer Gilbert they pulled her from under the concrete rocks of New York. I guess they gonna have to replace Silex at some point .

Well I can’t wait to see these Bitches back. I miss their New Yawk accents.

Maybe there was a shortage of hotties to pose nude for the month of March or maybe Kelly payed Hugh Hefner a huge amount of money upfront to let her ruin the March edition of playboy. Well the good thing is that Kelly posing created a lot of overtime hours for  many talented graphic artist, that had to work pass midnight to photoshop the shit out of Kelly’s scary leathery ass.

Those poor graphic artist are now having to got through therapy from the traumatic experience of photoshopping Kelly’s bare huge circus tee ties. Each tee tie has it’s own zip code. Kelly’s ex husband was the only man brave enough to shoot those photos or maybe he is already desentized since he was previously married to her. Kelly says they dind’t shoot her crusty ass vagina,  but still, I hope Kelly taped her dick back real good too just in case something may hang out there by accident.Oh yeah, I forgot the traumatized graphic artist took care of that too.

(Source Huffington Post)

Yep, today is my one year anniversary of talking smack on this insanity of a blog. This blog was created on a whim. One year ago today I was telling my husband about the housewives and Gretchen and Lynne and their shenanigans and he gave me this look like ’what are you talking about?’ He wasn’t familiar with the Real Housewives reality wreck, and I didn’t expect him to be.

Then he was kinda teasing me over watching reality TV shows and next thing I know I told him ‘I’m going to create a blog about it’ and he said ‘knock your self out!’  then I came up with the name at the spur of the moment, and it’s been my after work dirty hobby ever since; the rest is history. Now even my husband reads this blog and my teenage daughter watches the Housewives and clowns on those bitches with me. (She also used to make fun of me watching reality TV shows).

So thank you all that read my crazy rants!

And here is some cheesey collage…

HA HA HA HA !

At first it was rumored that Bethenny Frankel and new boyfriend of 11 months Jason Hoppy were engaged during the summer. Bethenny confirmed that the real engagement was official on October the 8th.

Here is Bethenny’s actual ring that didn’t come in the mail via UPS.

Here is the original article from People.com:

Bethenny Frankel can officially change her status from single girl to engaged girl.

Although it was reported that The Real Housewives of New York City star and boyfriend Jason Hoppy got engaged over the summer, Frankel confirms to PEOPLE she accepted Hoppy’s proposal on Oct. 8 after an 11-month courtship.

“It feels great, because I’m with the right person,” says Frankel, 38. “He may be regretting it because it’s been beyond a week and he’s in panic mode – [but] no, we’re enjoying it.”

Adds Hoppy, 38, “She is very much a handful but one thing she did say to me is she needs a man that can handle her, and that I can.”

In fact, Hoppy caught the usually unflappable Frankel off guard with his proposal – and even managed to get her beloved dog in on the plan.

Candlelight, Roses and Clean-Up Duty

After a day of shooting Housewives and promoting her Skinny Girl Margaritas, Frankel arrived home to her Upper East Side apartment to find over a hundred votive candles and rose petals strewn across the hallway.

With Frankel’s pooch Cookie (dressed for the occasion in a pink bow) as witness, Hoppy got down on one knee and told her: “You are the love of my life. Will you marry me?”

Hoppy then presented Frankel with a diamond ring with a 6 ½-carat pear-shaped center stone flanked by two side stones from jeweler Kristin Farrell.

Before the couple celebrated their engagement with a seven-course tasting menu at Manhattan restaurant Jean Georges, the first order of business was cleaning up the rose petals from Frankel’s camel-colored carpet.

Frankel jokes, “I made him pick them up. This was the first thing we had to resolve.”

The couple, who met in 2008, have not set a wedding date.

Bethenny Frankel will be starting on her own show that will feature her daily life and her relationship with new fiancee Jason Hoppy. The other Housewives did not even bothered to call her up and congratulate her. But I guess this solidifies the fact that Bethenny and the rest of the cast have grown apart specially Jill Zarin who last season was  best friends with Bethenny.

This article talks about Bethenny getting snubbed by other cast members:

Bethenny Frankel: None of the other ‘Real Housewives of New York’ has congratulated me on solo show

Jimmy Fallon did this little sketch of the Housewives with his own version. He got these Bitches numbers to a ‘ T ‘ specially the bossy delusional spoiled part. Fucking hilarious!

It was reported by the NY Daily News that Bethenny Frankel and the rest of the cast, that is Jill, LuAnn and Alex have been arguing and distancing themselves from Bethenny; surprisingly Bethenny and Kelly have made up over the summer and are closer now. I thought Kelly said that they were never going to be friends?  Also Bethenny was not invited to Jill’s intimate party at Saks Fifth Avenue. Is this a sign of the Apocalypse? Should I repent for my sins now?

Here is the original article:

Friend list of ‘Houswife’ Bethenny Frankel gets skinny

Frenemies Bethenny Frankel and Kelly Bensimon may have made peace over the summer, but the cat-fighting on this season’s “Real Housewives of New York” has only just begun.  On the show, which is slated to premiere in early 2010, the Skinnygirl creator will be feuding with all of her co-stars aside from – ironically – Bensimon. This time around, Bethenny’s biggest enemy appears to be her former BFF, Jill Zarin.

The rift between the ex-besties was evident late last week during a dinner Zarin hosted for 40 friends at Saks Fifth Avenue; Frankel was the only “Housewife”  who hadn’t been invited. While guests gossiped about the chef’s noticeable absence, Bensimon – who appears to be playing both sides – took a place of honor beside the evening’s hostess, a spot previously reserved for Frankel.

But it isn’t just her close pal that the Skinnygirl is alienating herself from: Frankel has been gradually cutting ties with Countess Luann De Lesseps, Alex McCord and Ramona Singer since news that she’d get her own show on Bravo broke during the summer months.

It will become obvious to fans of the New York version of the franchise, which began filming its third season Aug. 31, that the chef is separating herself from the pack. Frankel skipped US Weekly’s 25 Most Stylish New Yorkers fete in early September (all the other ladies attended) and was absent from a night of filming at Emanuel Ungaro’s Madison Ave. store. Even when she did join her castmates – such as at Pamella Roland’s Fashion Week show – the atmosphere was frosty. Frankel and De Lesseps had a front-row fight which, of course, will be played out large on the small screen come 2010.

However, sources say that separating Frankel from the other “Housewives” is a calculated move by Bravo producers, who want to wean her off of the show so she can stand alone.

Frankel has been filming several scenes solo - including a party shot at Meatpacking District nightclub Tenjune – to pave the way for her solo project, the working-titled “Skinny in the City.” Says a source, “Distancing herself from the cast will make the transition away from the ‘Real Housewives’ that much more seamless.”

Reps for Bravo, Frankel and Zarin did not return calls for comment by press time.

Our favorite Skinny Girl Bethenny Frankel will be coming back to the third season of Real Housewives of NYC because someone needs to Bitch slap Kelly some more . Bethenny will also be on  the next cover of  “Engagement 101″ and had a recent press released where she stated that she is getting married to her fiance Jason Hoppy but told People Magazine the total opposite that she is not engaged;  she also confirmed that she is not getting her own show and will be coming back to the third season of Real Housewives of NYC .  Other rumors going around is that her man is not in real state but is a pharmaceutical sales rep. But whatever I still love that Bitch and hope she is happy with her new man and that he cherishes her even if he cleans toilets for a living. Bethenny wants to keep everyone in suspense; I guess we will just have to wait and see what happens!