It was reported earlier today that Bethenny Frankel’s water broke at around 12:45am on Thursday and she is gonne into labor! She was due in June but that baby is coming early. I wonder if Queen Jill is gonna be pissed that the water dind’t report to Jill to get clearance before breaking.

 Let’s hope everything is okay with that baby.  Goddess bless bless that baby let everything be okay with both Beth and the baby.

Check this shit out , a reader by the name of Mandy N  left on my comments . She states a friend of hers works for Jill Zarin deleting all negative comments from her Facebook and blocking people who talk shit to Jill. There you go if anyone needs a job maybe Jill can hook you up with one and it pays good too!

Here is the readers comment this was posted a few days ago I just got lazy to post it on the main board:

Would you be so kind and let Jill Zarin know that paying someone to help her keep her facebook fan page clean, is pathetic. I have a friend who gets paid $25.00 an hour for monitoring and deleting all the nagative nelly stuff that Jill Zarin haters post. She told me she was gonna start taking her time so she can really make some money. She works up to 10 hours a day and on Thursdays, sometime 17 plus hours . The reason she has to work so long on Thursday is because after the show airs, Jill\’s FB page gets slammed so my friend is extra busy. She has STRICT orders from JILL to BLOCK any person who makes NEGATIVE comments. (I couldn\’t believe this so I tryed it, I too am now a blocked \”FAN\”…. As a matter of fact there are a lot of people on her FB page that are complaining about their comments being deleted, however because they are making comments, it\’s obvious they haven\’t been blocked yet. The other HW don\’t do that, why is Jill Zarin trying to control something she has absolutely NO control over? Hey Nik, tell Jill that no matter how much money she pays someone, the message the haters have will prevail! Jill Zarin is a mean girl who thinks she can BUY her way out of a pickle…Well Jill get ready to break the money train, because after this you\’re going need to hire a lot more staff to DEFEND your FB page. Thanks in advance
Mandy N

LuAnn is wearing some ridiculous manly boots when she visits her friend Sonja Morgan who also happens to be the new ho’ on the block. When LuAnn arrives Sonjas maid lets LuAnn in and makes sure she talks to LuAnn in French (because LuAnn prearrange that earlier) Then LuAnn forgets her line and just answers with the first thing she could roll out of her mouth easily and without thinking about it and that is Mercy!. OKAY!. Sonja descends from the stairs wearing a hideous outfit she bought at the Artists Formerly Known as Prince yard sale. LuAnn right away notices that Sonja has a picture of Max. Kelly’s ex-fuck buddy.

LuAnn tells Sonja that Max really gets around town. . Max gets around with those divorced New York rich Cougars, like a bong at a college frat house in Humbolt Cali.LuAnn wants her turn too. LuAnn says that Sonja is a little sex pistol, she loves men, she loves to party, she loves to fuck random men in back alleys and dick jump random men in orgy gang bangs. She is a fun gal. And LuAnn says that is what she loves about her. They do the ridiculous introduction of Sonja wearing her bathroom shower curtain and they just show her dog. Supposedly she has a nine year old daughter with an old billionaire old enough to be her grand-papi. I bet they don’t show the daughter because the baby daddy didn’t want his child be part of this ridiculous circus since he comes from real old money, and people from old money don’t roll like that .

As Sonja gets introduced she is talking to her assistant whose name happens to be Max as well. Sonja is sitting in front of her magic mirror forcing it to lie to her by telling her she is the hottest cougar of them all. Sonja mentions she was married to a rich sugar daddy and had a daughter with him but then after she did her time with this rich man and finish doing her responsibilities with him she got a divorce and a nice settlement. And now she is financially set.Sonja says she is the slutty straw that stirs the bullshit . But she still looks like Gonzo. So with all that money she should fix that honker. She also makes sure she mentions that she loves dick . A LOT. Well I’m sure mosts women agree, but we’re not mentioning it every five seconds but I guess with this Famewhore this is her signature one dimensional character trademark.

Then we get to see more clips of Sonja Gonzo whoring all around  New York. But Bravo wouldn’t allow Sonja’s wish to  show the clip of her doing a cabby and 2 waiters behind the alley at Sak’s. They said it was too much skin. But then we get to see all the fun happy crappy that Sonja Gonzo gets to do.

From sexually harrasing Italian kitchen male workers, to groping underage boys who don’t speak English, to getting botox embalming fluid injections and partying drinking, getting drunker, falling on her face drunk while stumbling out of a car, pissing herself  while laying in the gutter, going home with creepy strangers, waking up next to scary strangers, after a heavy night of drinking , partying and having no idea where she is . Sonja Gonzo is also pretending to do yoga after all her adventures, they show in a nutshell what Sonja  Gonzo does all day. And it looks like this Bitch is a lot more fun than a drunken barrel of butt-pirate gay monkeys. Gonzo keeps reminding us that sex is verrry important remember that, Bitches.

 LuAnn and Gonzo are throwing a party for the homeless. Maybe Lynne Curtin and gettho ass Tamra can benefit from this fancy ass party.Miss Sonja Gonzo offers her luxurious multiple floor home. What a fun Bitch. They pick through Miss Sonja Gonzo’s fancy expensive clothes that cost like 3 grand a piece.

Next Jill and Bobby are having lunch. Jill wants to cry to daddy Bobby about how horribly she got beat up and ambushed by evil Bethenny.  Bethenny had given Jill a letter to give to Bobby . Jill tells Bobby that she didn’t open the letter . SHE LIED!. She was also jealous that Bethenny gave Bobby a letter and not Jill. Jill tries very hard to get sympathy from Bobby. But he straight up tells her she needs to mend fences with Bethenny and stop acting like a spoiled Bitch. It all goes over Jills head. Of course.

Bethenny is giving away free sandwiches out on some boardwalk. She tells Alex that her dying father refused to see her.Did ya all notice everyone looking at the camera again?. Bethenny tells Alex that she met with Jill and had to fight LuAnn.

LuAnn shows up to meet Jill in some ridiculous bike carriage that some guy is giving her a ride in. Jill says LuAnn is delusional and since we don’t have royalty in the USA,because in the USA royalty is an illusion in your head, this is the Countess  delusional version  of  arriving like a royal pain in the ass at the Park. They walk around central park while wearing stupid high heels . Silly ass Jill tells LuAnn she cleansing herself for Yon Kipur and forgiving people and making amends and forgiving everyone that wronged her and  blah, blah, blah.

 LuAnn asks her if she is going to mend fences with Bethenny Jill laughs and says Bethenny doesn’t count. After LuAnn brings up Bethenny Jill then contradicts what she said earlier and says is not a cleansing thing is about forgiveness. But all the bullshit she says doesn’tmake sense and Jill is lying she is not doing any cleasing or forgiveness she is saying that to hear herself talk. Even LuAnn knows that. And she is her guard dog, of the moment.

 LuAnn mentions to Jill that she has a boy toy who is the same man that the physic that Jill hired a couple of episodes earlier, mentioned  and LuAnn admits she is letting him hit her from behind for 20 dollars per hour. LuAnn also says that she also has  a stable of young paid studs under 35. LuAnn also expresses her disgust with Jill trying to meddle and fix LuAnn up with 60 year old sugar papas when LuAnn wants younger ass this time.

Ramona proposes to her husband Mario. Did you all see the ‘AW SHIT!’ Look in his face!? Now it’s gonna make it even harder if he falls for one of his 20 something year old bootey calls that he sees when Ramona is out running around Manhattan with a bottle of Pinot Grigrio in her purse with her eyes popping doing her crazy dance and barking at random Bitches.Mario decides to give Ramona what she wants and get it over with. So Ramona and Mario go into the bedroom where they have Donkey Kong sex ,while the pervy camera men hang around outside the door listening.

Mario still worried about how he is gonna explain this to his girlfriends. But I guess he will deal with that later.

Alex is putting the final touches on the Brooklyn fashion show.Fucking Ramona brought her own wine and glasses to the fashion show. They interviewed Alex while she was getting her hair done. That was  ghetto.

 Alex was barking orders around and she seems to know what she is doing. She was being a Boss Lady. Ramona was carrying vino and glasses plus a cork screw she is a real wino. Ramona was trying to learn how to walk the runway but she kept drinking more and more.

Jill shows up and the first thing out of her mouth is that the event is so low rent and the step and repeat is next to a trash can, and how she is speechlessand how her majesty the  Countless wouldn’t be caught dead at that ghetto ass event, so she didn’t even bother to show up, and how Jill is just too good because she is at the royal tier like the Countless and Jill feels out of place and overdressed around all these ghettho Brooklyn peons and she goes on and on. Jill was acting like she was royalty and showed up at the welfare store and was disgusted with all the peasants below her feet. If she hated it so much she should of just stayed home and smelled Gingers farts. But Jill likes to complain. I think she enjoys it so thats why she showed up to this event.

Alex doesn’t give two shits about these Bitches saying she lives in the ghetto, because Alex is gangsta she is proud to represent for her hood so she does and throws a good fashion show. The whole time Jill kept talking shit about everybody.

Jill also got confronted by Kelly who tells her that she didn’t appreciate that death threat Email she send her, telling her NOT to hang out with Bethenny. Kelly should of just head butted Jill right there and then but decided to confuse everyone with her psycho- babel- spewage instead. Jill tells Kelly that she got upset because of a message that Kelly wrote on the Internet where she mentions being happy to hang out with Bethenny Jill says that that pissed her off so much.

Jill feel she can tell people who they can talk to Kelly should of just slaped her, but instead feels the need to explain to Jill some lame ass shit about PR 101 and PR 102 why does she need to explain herself to that Bitch? She should just say I talk to her now. So its none of your business and not PR 101 and PR 102 bullshit. Shut up ho’. I dind’t even feel like writing the following paragraphs about Kelly and how dumb she sounds.

Jill says to Kelly :

You told me that you were not really  friends with Bethenny, is that correct? And Kelly answers all nervous, I am not really friends with Bethenny, then Jill continues Did you not Twitter her a kiss ass message saying oh so great to be with you,…blieh blieh.. that pissed me off you’re such a hipocrite. Stupid ass Kelly comes up with a lame excuse and tries to give Jill a PR lesson. and tells Jill that she wasnt kissing Behtennys ass she was saying to the world ‘leave me alone!’ And says that PR 101 lesson is ‘any publicity is good publicity’ and PR 102 move on to something else she also talks about how she uses complements to attact people who call her Madonna or something stupid to that effect.

 Then Jill stood there all pissed off and looking confused by Kelly’s lame ass explanations and  saying uh, oh- okay then I didn’t know.Jill was still shitting granite balls throught her asshole, because she was so pissed off about everything. I swear she loves that shit she was specially pissed over not being invited to walk the anorexic ho’  walk  with the other ho’s.

Now that she was finish fighting with Kelly because she realized that there was no fight she had to fuck with someone else. So she pounces on Ramona. The minute Ramona walks in wearing her black dress. Is that the zipper dress? She tells Ramona that the necklace she chose doesn’t go with the dress and she looks like a 2 dollar hooker from Queens, because her brawr is showing. Jill was making a big fucking deal on Ramona’s necklace even whispering little bitch remarks in Kelly’s ear. And Kelly of course was laughing along.

Ramona was listening and wanted to yank on Jill’s hair. She should off. But Ramona didn’t because Jill was already acting like a bitter complaining bitch because she was boiling in jealousy because she was not walking the catwalk at the Brooklyn show. Jill also asks Ramona “Were is Mario he didnt come see his hot sexy wife walk down the run way,?!’ Then she makes a pukey face.

After that Jill laughs and says oh yeah that’s right he is at his girlfriends house. Ramona is going to brake that bottle of Pinot Grigio on Jill’s head after she exits the building and is walking in the dark parking lot. Ramona is crazy like that.

Stupid ass Jill kept complaining when she plopped her fat ass down on the chair .Her idea of enjoying this fashion show was to complain the whole time. Right away she says these chairs are so umcomfortable my ass hurts!It’s a good thing that Bobby was also avoiding Jill that night, just like Mario avoided Ramona Bobby was out with his girlfriend too, because he knew Jill was gona complain the whole time.

Jill says she should of showed up in a wife beater and jeans and says she feels like a moron. Then she informs Simon that the skirt on a model doesn’t fit. You know who she remained me off? Dwight in the last Real Housewives of Atlanta he was raging raw on Lisa’s fashion show. But Jill was far worse.

Simon turned to look at her like he wanted to slap her. Then she looks down and says ‘It’s a mess’What a Bitch! She says she felt so out of place and coudln’t wait to get the hell out of there away from all those Joe 12 packs.

Ramona is getting all stressed out over walking the Puta walk.

Kelly says that Ramona’s eyes pop out because she also gets stronged out on crack, besides the Pinot Grigio. I KNEW IT! Ramoner is a crack head too!

The firtst one on the Puta walk is Kelly. She has the same exact walk as her daddy Big Foot Senior. Dressed in this gorgeous yellow gown picked by one of Kelly’s daughters Kelly looks like the offspring of when Big Foot fucked big bird in the ass. When she walks she growls , Kelly also admits that she has huge tranny line backer shoulders and she is a big Bird wearing ridiculous Ho. But I think she just says that, to try and distract people from the fact that she is part Big Foot and you can tell, specially when she wears this outfit.

Then Alex walks the runway. Jill tells Simon to tell her to slow down. Like he is gonna get up in the middle of the show and interrup Alex because queen bee here told him to do that. What a dumb Bitch! Jill did admit that Alex has the anorexic body of a fashion model. But she has a buttaface. What a Bitch!

Then its Ramonas turn to do the Puta walk.  OH MY GOD! That Bitch snorted like 27 lines of coke and drank 10 bottles of wine her head was spinning and her eyes were popping out! She was looking at everybody thinking ‘ I am going to make all you humans my slaves !’it was like and episode of invader Zim bitch didn’t even blink ‘ HA HA HA HA! Stupid Jill was straight up laughing real loud. And said that ‘her eyes were bulging she walked like a robot with her neck sticking out like a giraffe. I agree with this stupid bitch on this one .

Jill flew out of there. Allie asks her mom if she wanted to leave. She was really tired of hearing her mom bitch and hopefully Ally wont turn like her crazy ass Bitch mom. Ally seems like such a nice girl.

Then we see a bizarre clip of Kelly taking Simon out shopping. And he is getting nakid in front of Kelly and other gay men that were there. That was disturbing. ENOUGH OF THAT!

And now the famous pregnancy test by our dear Bethenny who seems to think she has to leave the door open so we can all see her bony 90 pound ass peeing.Congrats Bitch I still love ya but we didn’t need to see yo’ ass. She reminded me of this old roommate I used to have this chick named Kelly she was a hippie this was back in Eugene Oregon that bitch would never shut the door when she peed . It drove me nuts. Come to think of it a lot of hippies didn’t shut the door when they peed . I would shut the door and yell at all these people when I lived over there.

Bethenny finds out she is pregnant and tries desperately to call the new baby daddy Jason but can’t get a hold of him.

Bethenny then accuses Jason of sleeping with the woman answering recorded, generic messager on his cell phone because she is being trying to get a hold of him to tell him that she is preggo, for the last 5 hours.

Jill has some event with Kodak. This is where LuAnn officially introduces Sonja Morgan aka Gonzo. Ramona stumbles in drunk off her ass. As usual. She starts to question Jill on choosing to get a  sponsor from Kodak because they are in trouble financially. Jill admits to that but says that Kodak is trying to revamp their business with the Internet because they don’t make film anymore. Then she calls Ramona ignorant and a moron.Ramona is there for a mission. And that is to ruin and embarrassed Jill at her Kodak sponsorship and she has the power of the Pinot Grigio to help her with that.

Ramona also mentions that she came from her business meeting down the street. I wonder if those people  she did business with saw her on this episode of the show and what did they think about her drinking in the middle of the day? I bet she probably starts her day with a bottle of Pinot and drinks all day till she goes to bed.

Then Ramona informs Jill that she felt hurt when Jill snubed her at the fashion show. Jill tells Ramona she knows she is there to insult her . Jill straight up gets defensive and tells Ramona to beat it. But Ramona refuses, because she hasn’t completely accomplished her mission . And that is to ruin Jill’s endorsement deal. LuAss jumps on Ramona and pops her in the mouth.

But Ramona who is half LuAnn’s size just jumps right back on her like a raging wolverine and tears her up. LuAnn says Jill may call the bodyguards on Ramona. Then she does the same to Kelly, who is also over six foot. But don’t worry crazy ass Ramona is just fine. She jumps on Kelly’s shoulders and pops her in the head.

 Ramona is like a wolverine. An 80 pound animal that can tear up a 1000 pound bear by jumping on his head. That’s Ramona for you. Ramona is pissed that Jill send her two 6 foot tall goons to attack her but she did managed to kick both their asses and ruin Jill’s endorsement even thought Ramona had to ninja fight those 2 amazon bitches

Then Gonzo showed up.  You would think that with all the money that bitch Sonja Gonzo has; she would fix up that dried witch broomstick hair and that honker. You can see the gray throught  her hair .LuAnn made sure that she asked Sonja Gonzo about gigolo Max in front of Kelly who has a dinner to attend to after the Kodak party and LuAnn wonders if it is Max whom Kelly is meeting .

 Gonzo brags that she is the one that discovered Max or Maximiliano Palacio wich is his real honest to God gigolo name. Gonzo brags that she discovered Max the day he hit New York as a tourist and that 15 minutes later he was banging her from behind on a park bench in Central Park.

Yeap told ya, that motherfucker gets passed around like a fat joint at a hippie commune . But Kelly just shuts up because she is now embarrased, because  she thought she was the only one Max was seeing when in reality he was getting paid for servicing Gonzo weekly or twice a week, Gonzo then says  she ‘had to let Max go’ so she fired his dirty gigolo ass because she found another younger piece of ass that was cheaper fresh off the boat. 

Kelly is pissed to find out Max ditched her cause she wanted it for free and didn’t want to pay Max for the hand jobs. LuAnn also wants her turn with Max. LuAnn says she loves Gonzo because her raunchy ass is Mae West reincarnated on steroids and Max has been around the block a couple of times, hoping next time he’ll stop around her block. 

LuAnn introduces Sonja Gonzo to Jill.  Jill totally kisses Gonzo’s ass. Gonzo tells Jill about how she met crazy ass Ramona when she was shoping for some high end clothing and Ramona wanted to try on a dress Gonzo was going to get. Ramona begged Sonja Gonzo to let her try the dress on ,and promised she will bring it back but when Ramona took off with the dress she tried to jack it and Gonzo counl’t find Ramona or the dress so she found Ramona standing in line waiting to pay for the dress.

Gonzo ass Sonja took off her high heels and went chola on Ramona’s ass and a brawl broke out both bitches scratched each others eyes out hooker stilettos were flying up in the air and security got called. In the end crazy ass Ramona was pretty pissed that Sonja dared jump her like that, so she pooped on the floor in the middle of the store and wiped her ass with the dress then she gave it to Sonja and said ‘there you go!’ True story!

 Towards the end of the night Ramona managed to beat up Kelly once more, by monkey jumping her from behind. Ramona waited for the perfect moment when Jill was up on stage for her Kodak thingy . Jill was trying to give her speech and all of the sudden she hears the commotion and sees hands flying and hands are flying up in the air and nobody is listening to the speech anymore they just see Ramona and Kelly slap each other around.

After Ramona is done smacking Kelly big foot around she tells her “I cant talk to you you have no brain’  scare crow of the wizard of Oz. And she walks away while Kelly is sitting there repeating what Ramona said in a 7 year old mocking way. Ramona felt satisfied like she accomplished her mission of fucking Jill’s endorsement up. Which she did and stumbled out of there all drunk and shit. Didn’t Ramona have her fucking assistant with her? I think she left her at the Jill failed endorsement. Ramona will probably be yelling at her assistant later for not following Ramona out when she left that place.

HOLY SHIT BALLS!

 Bethenny invited Ramona to go for a walk on the Brooklyn bridge to help Ramona in  getting rid of her phobia of Brooklyn. Bethenny says that Ramona doesn’t go to Brooklyn eat in Brooklyn or even take a shit in Brooklyn and we all know why; since that was explained in the last episode Ramona is scared to death of Brooklyn because that’s where her and her mom had to go hide out at her Gram-Grams from her drunken abusive pops .

Bethenny says she called Silex to meet them at the other side of the Brooklyn bridge, so that Ramona  sees people she is familiar with and doesn’t freak out  and runs into traffic, like she is done in the past.

Then Bethenny starts stripping in the middle of the bridge in front of everybody and their cousin.

Bethenny tells Ramona that she is concerned that Jill is the one who went around talking to the press about their fight .Bethennyexplains to Ramona that she called Jill, andthat she wanted to find out from Jill why this fight has grown so out of proportion and now everyone in Manhattan knows about their fight; including reporters and bloggers .  Well gee could it be because you guys are on a reality show after all?

 Ramona says to Bethenny ‘Bitch you’re the press monger who runs to the press all the time with yo’ big ass mouth’ then she says that she really thought that Bethenny is the big mouth who went and planted all these rumors because she can’t shut her blowjob hole for one second.

Then she tells Bethennythat she is just trying to help her and Bethenny seems to fall for it for a minute, and tells Ramona ‘I can tell you’re trying to help me’then she calls Ramona sweet and kind and says she feels warm and cozy all over, right after that Ramona tells Beth she is a self serving Bitch. Notice while these Bitches are walking, all those people in the background are waiving at the camera just like when the chanel 5 news goes to the ghetto after a drive by?

Bethenny tells Ramona she is such an ungrateful, monkey-onkoel’s hooker, because the previous week Bethennyhelped her get a shit load of people to come to  some S & M/ HSN pachanga Ramona threw,  by promising them free hooch and cooch, then she bitch slaps Ramona and shouts EAT THAT HO!.

Aftet that Bethenny tells Ramona ‘You’re not the most warm and fuzy person either!’. Ramona then shouts  Bitch you have no friends!  Who are your friends? You have nobody in your life. Right now you have Jason but you’ll probably fuck that up too! It was on!

I guess  after her ship landed, and Ramona was assigned a human body they forgot to put a filter in her voice box to stop the glitch of diarreah of the mouth.

Then Bethenny tells Ramona if she has no friends then why is she walking with her? Stupid Bitch! That’s when Bethenny and Ramona both had to pull out their Samurai swords and start battling on top of the Brooklyn Bridge.

Ramona sticks up for Jill because she likes stirring shit, and she is sick in the head.

Bethenny holds her own and tells Ramona that she has a very antagonistic way of showing that she is helping.  Then she throws Ramona over the bridge. But Ramona has alien super powers and just bounces, so she jumps back on the bridge and tells Bethenny that, since Bethenny don’t want to talk about this bullshit right now, that they are going to talk about politics and health care shit. Bethennyis frustrated and crying because that alien thing came back and Bethenny doesn’t want to talk about politics. Bethenny also looks very rail thin in that track suit, she needs to eat a sammich.

 They make it to Brooklyn and are both happy to see crazy ass Simon and Alex.They confess to Silex, about their bitch smacking fest on the bridge. Simon asks who won the fight . Bethenny says that for her it was a big fight, since she was fighting an alien from planet Lo Ku Ku; but for Ramona it was a piece of cake since she has super alien powers of Pinot Grigrio an’ all. Bethenny tells Simon that Ramona is very resilient and she jumped right back on her feet like nothing happened, even after Bethenny threw her over the bridge.

Bethennysays she survived the Hurricane Ramona coaster of crazy, that one minute is psychotic and  psycho like Fredy Krueger and the next minute it’s a photo opp, overall a bad tumultuous ride.’

This damn bridge reminds me of that New York New York hotel in Las Vegas. Watching them walk here is going to make me want to stay at that damn hotel!. Okay I think I know where me and Mr. Boss Man are staying on our next Vegas run.

  Kelly was let loose by the Insane Asylum on the streets of New York to annoy people, and so they could get rid of her for a minute, like they usually do when they let her run in traffic. But this time she was send out with an actual mission, and it wasn’t to get hit by a cab. She is supposed to go on a quest for some magazine she writes for called the Daily Loony that they print for the colorful characters in the Asylum . Kelly was sent to find out if real people on the street wear underwear. The next few scenes of Kelly chasing people down the street, saying‘Hi yeeee!‘ remind of of The Munsters when they would approach people and the people would scream and run. That’s what all the people in the NYC streets were doing to Kelly.  Well at least the sober ones.

She finally found some guy from New Zealan wearing clothes from the free bin he found at the Church donation box. That guy was frying on acid  so he didn’t get as freaked out when he saw Kelly’s punk ass approaches him, he thought he was talking to the real Mr Ed, who was coming on to him and it was part of his acid trip.Kelly then found a few more victims, who were equally as high as the acid trip guy she molested earlier, and she asked them all if they were wearing any underwear.

Then she runs into some photographer dude she knows and he was trying to avoid her because he thinks she’s a crazy bitch,but it’s too late and he was like ‘AW SHIT! THEY SAW ME!’ So stupid Kelly tries to use her camera but she realizes she doesn’t know how to use it, because she is a dumb ass. Even thought her old huuusband was the most amazing photographer in the whole universe and in all the galaxies, who photographed God and the Divine Trinity himself; even thought I never heard of that fool or Kelly, until she was on this TV train wreckage displaying her unique flavor of ridiculous.

And now a lesbian scene between Jill and LuAnn. Since LuAnn is now homeless in NYC because the Count kicked her ass out of her NYC townhouse she now  has to stay at Jill’s apartment. LuAnn uses the lame excuse that she is spending the night at Jill’s to see what it is like to spend the night at the Zarin house. Jill comes in with Ginger under her arms to the guest room LuAnn is staying in ,to tuck her in and to brag about some Diamond card from Saks because she is helping Bobby go broke faster. Jill is  wearing her sexiest lingerie for LuAnn. Then they both proceed to do what they do next. NO! not suck each others dicks but rather talk gutter smack about Bethenny and what a low budget Bitch she is.

 Jill then lays out a big ole’ fart and you can hear it throught the camera, YEAP YOU CAN! And it stinks like the sewers of hell were the devil shits and cornholes his victims in the ass. So she blames it on Ginger. The Countless pretends to like the stench,  but her eyes are watering and when the wall paper starts to peel and Ginger starts to yelp because she can’t stand the smell, Jill leaves the stench in the room and shuts the door. When LuAnn finds a new boy toy and tells Jill to get a hobby and fuck off she is going to charge LuAnn extra for leaving that raunchy turd on LuAnn’s bed. Well I guess now LuAnn knows what it’s like to spend the night at the Zarin house is a  gaudy 70′s nightmare that Liberace threw up  on when he was frying on acid with the stench of yo quiero Taco Hell farts.

Bethenny is going to L.A. to see her pops who she hasn’t to talk to in a while and stops over at Alex’s to pick models for the Brooklyn fashion show. She confesses to Alex in tears, that her dad is dying and Alex listens nicely and acts pretty cool. Stupid Alex she is growing on me like a mushroom on a wild turd. She is cool.

Then Kelly shows up‘Hi yeeeeh!!”

Oh my God! Is she wearing that same bathroom rug again? OH no I guess she is wearing her road kill rug that’s a different one that one doesn’tsmell like cat pee it smells like wino pee and puke. She stole that one from some homeless wino she screwed in an alley one night. Wasn’t this stupid shit filmed in summer? Why is Kelly wearing those vests in summer is it just to irk PETA and Bethenny? Or is Bethenny right that this heffa doesn’t know the temperature in the room?

Then Ramona shows up drunk off course, and then some boring shit with them finding models. Bethenny says she is a lesbian and sexually harasses some ho’s and some men too. Ramona laughs at some dude and tells him he looks like a girl. After that Ramona tells Bethenny to come over her house Wednesday; so she can lock her and Jill in a room at her house so those two crazy bitches can duke it out once and for all.

Finally some eye candy walks the cat walk and Bethenny says that ‘Dessert it’s being served so let’s all respect!’ All the bitches were drooling like he was a piece of man meat, including Alex’s day gay . Ramona say’s ‘I’ll buy whatever he wears!’ . Did you all see that? Alex’s eyes were popping out just like she caught the Ramona Crazy Eye disease. And the fucker liked getting sexually harrased even by Alex’s Day Gay. It was funny! And of course he was cast. Shit, I would of casted his ass too. Bethenny leaves and yells I AIN’T SHARING ALL MY LUGGAGE WITH THESE ASSHOLES! She also announces she is no longer a lesbian, she was just a minute lesbian for the minute she was there sexually harrasing the models. Who where really all hookers not models, by the way.

LuAnn meets with her real state agent to find a townhouse in NYC. She throws a list of demands at her agent and the woman rolls up her eyes at her,then she tells her to get out of her office because since she is no longer a Countess she can no longer afford all that expensive shit she wants in a NYC home and tells her to come back when she earns more money at the Puterio bath house.

Jill puts on a bullet proof vest and goes over to Alex’s house in the hood. She is trying  hard to convince Alex that she thinks her boys are adorable . But Alex knows better. Alex’s tells Jill about the Brooklyn fashion event.

 You can tell Jill is all pissed off because Alex didn’t invite her to be involved in the event. Jill has this fake forced smile going on, clenching her jaw. Alex tells Jill that her and Kelly are going to walk the Puta walk on this show and Jill asks Alex to invite tranny ass LuAnn, since she used to be a model too. Then Jill makes sure she mentions to Alex that even thought LuAnn use to be a model she is not a size 1 like Jill is. In her head.

Alex gets down to bussiness and tells Jill to quit being a bitch, and acting like a spoiled 7 year old towards  Bethenny and hints at Jill that Bethenny’s dad is not doing well.

Jill tells Alex she don’t give a rats ass. Alex says her piece but doesn’t like Jills reaction. When Jill goes into a spewage about Bethenny being driven to become successfullat the expense of Jill, and baw wa wa wa! And how money doesn’t matter. Alex was scratching her head and just going ‘uhhumm!’ But she was really thinking ‘Bitch are you fo’ real?! What do you mean money doesn’t matter you married money, Bethenny has to make money’ She wanted to smack that ho. Jill just talks in circles and doesn’t mean anything she says or knows what she is saying you can tell.

Alex then says that Jill is a selfish lying Bitch and that, she doesn’t believe her argument as far as she can throw her and her fake ass size one. She also says that Jill is so full of shit about that money BS, because she is the number one gold digger and she is set, and now she has time to do whatever the fuck she wants. Like insert herself in Bethenny’s business and expect Bethenny to be up Jill’s ass, playing with Jill 24/7,doing whatever Jill wants, although Bethenny has shit to do, like work and shit, so she is not homeless like the Countless is about to be. Alex says Jill keeps score and is a crazy ass Bitch with too much time in her hands and Alex wants to smack her. Then Alex tells Jill  I tried! but you’re too stupid to live!

Alex is peting her cat then she sets it loose on Ginger. Ginger tried to hump Alex’s cat and the cat tore Ginger a new asshole. Then Alex’s boys got home and they played some fun pranks on aunt Jill. When Jill got home later that night she couln’t take her boots off because they were glued to her feet! And she had to call the fire department to come and rip those boots off her feet.  Maybe next time Jill will stop taking off her shoes when she goes places, specially at Alex’s house. Those kids are awesome.

The Big blowout .

Ramona invited the Countless and Jill to come over her house so that they can steal her clothes . But this was all a big set up for Bethenny to come and talk to Jill about all this bullshit. When Bethenny comes in she gets tackled by the Countless like a fucking body guard front defense bitch and fucking Jill of course starts saying I AM AMBUSHED! I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU! Bethenny tried and tried to talk to Jill. Bethenny was exhausted after all the bullshit with her dad whom she had just come back from L.A. to see him and he didn’t want to see poor Bethenny.

Bethenny begged and cried on her knees begging Jill to talk to her for 5 fucking minutes.  Jill brings up again to Bethenny how Bobby had fucking cancer and had his throat slit open, from ear to ear, and all  Bethenny did was send flowers. Bethenny tells Jill I emailed you but you didn’t respond to me and I didn’t know how he was you said it was just a procedure.

 Jill just doesnt want to let things go and keeps on being a total ass Bitch, instead of working things out with Bethenny and forgiving and letting go,  over something that wasn’t as awfull as Jill makes it sound she treats Bethenny as if Bethenny had and affair with Bobby and then pissed in her cheerios . 

Jill finally agrees to sit down with Bethenny and tells Bethenny that she is pissed off Bethenny is not up her ass 24/7 like her new lap dog  LuAnn. Who is not only her lap dog but also her Doberman .LuAnn is the Doberman underdog because LuAnn needs Jill. Jill tells  Bethenny  she is just not worthy of even breathing the same air as Jill, because she doesn’t jump through hoops when Jill tells her to.

Did you all see those 2 bitches (Ramoner and Countless Tranny) spying in the hallway while the Countless has the farts from all the exitement and then they both sneak in making an excuse that they are bringing tea? When it’s all lame  excuse to make sure those two Bitches don’t kill each other. Bethenny poured her heart out but Jill just spit on her face. What an ass Bitch!

 So much for following her own advice like the so called advice she supposedly gives in her book that her smarter sister wrote!

The Countless who is now Jill’s paid thug says she is whisking Jill away to their car since the tea diversion didn’t work and next there was going to be a puppet show. Bethenny leaves.

Jill doesn’t cry because she don’t care. When Bethenny leaves  Ramona sticks up for Jill but Jill and the Countless thug jump Ramona, and beat her ass for bringing Bethenny over. Jill then wipes up some fake Spanish Telenovela tears. But it all backfires on Jill, because she is a ho’!

And that’s how those Bitches roll!

Kelly Killoren Bensimon the bitch who recently admitted she has  tranny linebackers shoulders, is always talking about how amazing her ex-husband Gilles Bensimon is, and how he is the verrrry bestesess photographer in the universe. Well according to some rumors, that same ex-husband had asked her to quit using his last name or bringing him up because she is embarrassing him; the same source also says  that Giles Bensimon can’t stand her and that the paternity of those girls has always been in question. Again these are just Internet rumors. 

Kelly also bragged on the show about how she was honored to be in Playboy at the age of 41, and blah,blah, blah. Well other rumors from a different  source are saying that her ex-huusband Giles Bensimon took those pictures of her and send them to Playboy but Playboy rejected them. Possibly because they notice the linebackers shoulders. But now that she is in a notorious reality show the most notorious book in history Playboy suddenly accepted those photos. So she wasn’t 41 posing according to the same source. Also some more gossip on Kelly she supposedly still owes money to that guy she beat up last year and still has not paid him. She also supposedly owes some babysitter money, from 2 years ago and never paid.

And here is some gossip about that new ho’ Sonja Morgan, who admits she is a horny old bitch who gets serviced by male whores named Max 3 times a week, or whatever the fuck she said last episode. This ho’ was supposed to finance a movie with John Travolta and Rosario Dawson but pulled out at the last minute, so now she is being sued for 7 million dollars.

Here is the original article from NYPost:

Morgan backed out because she had just been served with divorce papers, according to court documents. Her divorce was finalized in 2008. The movie was never made.

Bethenny has carpenter crack in the mornings! Then she tells her assistant that Jill is spewing their binezz all over the press and spoke to the Crasher about how Bethenny and her are no longer friends but rather ‘frenemies’ then she says what are we? Thirteen- twenty six?. Hey! 26 is old enough to know better but I guess some people can be 50 and still act stupid.

Bethennyispiss off over this bullshit ass fight with Jill and she is floored that Jill has told the Crasher that Bethenny is fighting with everybody not just her which is a bunch of bullshit .  She states that Bethenny has cut ties with the other women when in reality Bethenny was the one blackballed by nonsensical fashion events as she  puts it  .

Bethenny wants to tear Jill and the Countless a new asshole each and it’s understandable. If it looks like a Jill and it walks like a Jill then it probably is a Jill. Perez Hilton reached out to Bethenny and said to her you should hear the interesting things that Jill Zarin said about you!’ Then Bethenny calls him a termite!.  Bethenny says she don’t want her mug on one of those ‘blogger’ sites! Well too late hon’! Bethenny states she wants to reach out to Jill and try and mend their friendship. Too late.

Kelly gets interviewed  for her playboy article by some kind of a sewer rat. For reasons that we will never understand Kelly finds the pervy sewer rat very sexy,  and right away she throws her panties and bra at it. She also started humping his leg. When she is talking to the confessional camera her skin looks totally toasted . When she went to the tanning salon she ordered the  lobster red,  beef jerky, skin soaked, in pig fat special tanning  session. Which consist of Kelly getting soaked in pig fat and then she is laid inside a giant waffle iron for like 6 hours straight. That’s how she gets her sexy glowing skin people! Well at least she thinks it looks sexy. She looks like a thankgiving turkey all covered in butter that got burned! Kelly goes to that tanning salon so often to have this treatment done, they even gave her ass, a punch card and the 11th tanning session is free.

 The pervy sewer rat interviewer asks Kelly if she ever posed nude before or at least with a dispossable camera.Kelly says never! But then she remembers that there was this one time when she needed a ride when she left her hometown for NYC and she had to hitchhike. So she got picked up by this greasy hairy truck driver who drove to NYC  in exchange for a hand job and Polaroids of her topless.

This is a picture of him below:

 You Bitches know you want this sexy man meat here! I am so jealous of Kelly for getting groped by this super hunk!

And there was  that one time when  she   went topless  at  a devil worshipping orgy she attended ,then she says it was  all very freeing. Kelly of course continues throwing herself at the sewer rat,  and asks him stupid shit, like for example if he saw the shoot of her being nakid ,  she asks him what he thought of it and blah, blah, blah.The sewer rat can tell Kelly is  a total retard but tolerates her because he wants to get in her pants, and he is used to dumb bitches like her anyways.

You see this sewer rat gets a lot of bootey calls from all the thousand of ho’s with daddy issues and Attention Whore Personality Disorders Symdrome,  he interviews on a daily basis, that pose bare ass  for Playboy. So Kelly is just another bootey call.

Then she asks him What was I doing in the pictures? And he says ‘stuff’  Then she asks like a dumb ass ‘What stuff? Delusional Kelly also believes that a lot of people want to see her Sasquatch ass nakid. The pervy sewer rat interviewer laughs all perverted and gives her this up and down raunchy look. Kelly finally gets the sewer rat to asks her out and she gives him her number.

Then as she walks away and says bye to him she walks into an iron pole and is knocked out. Since this is is New York City people just walk by, and figure she is just a street wino who passed out drunk and peed herself  on the sidewalk,so they just ignore her .
 Later we learn the sewer rat stood her up and didn’t call her but Kelly says she didn’t call him. Whateves ! The sewer rat stood Kelly up because another loose ho’ that was younger and hotter than her became available for a quickie when the sewer rat and Kelly where supposed to go out. Well what the fuck did she expect from a sewer rat? Dumb broad!

Notice how right before the show the Countless they show a bath house ! It must be the place LuAnn works at, giving old men blow jobs. Now that she is Countless she needs some extra money to maintain her Countess lifestyle. She is having a conversation withherdaughter Victoria about how talented Victoria is  with her fashion drawings and tells her she can arrange for Victoria an internship at some fashion designers firm.

Victoria starts questioning LuAnn if she is dating anybody special and LuAnn tells her no not any serious suitors just bootie calls my dear. Then Victoria tells LuAnn please just stay away from guys that are 20 to 30 years younger than you that go to my school it is very creepy! Oh yeah and stay away from blondes! I want those for myself!

Now on to Ally and her moma Jill. Ally is posing for Seventeen Magazine and it seems that mama Jill has to be there to control the shoot and make sure Ally doesn’t FUCK IT UP!. So Jill is sitting there shouting orders at Ally while she poses . Kelly shows up wearing the bathroom rug that smells like cat pee again. Looking like one of the Geico cavemen.  Jill continues to control the photoshoot and yells orders at Ally like ‘shake it baby’ and ‘can you feel it!’ .Then out of nowhere a mysterious high heeled shoe flies and hits Jill in the face knocking her ass out! I think she pissed off the Seventeen Magazine people there; and someone they managed to throw that shoe at her. They had a hired hit on her ass.

Alex had all the Bitches come over to her ghetto ass hood in Brooklyn for some bullshit fashion show she is in charge of throwing. All the designers suck and it looks like the clothes came out of the deep anus of the eighties some of that  hideous shit didn’t even looked designed but more like it was scavenge at the thrift store.

While all this was going on Kelly and Bethenny started to growl then they started barking at each other finally they got into a fist fight Bethenny pulled wads of Bigfoots hair and in the end Alex had to step in and  yell at all those crazy ho’s to shut the fuck up and smack them 3 stooges style because that is the only way their monkey ass understands anything. Damn Alex had to get violent. I didn’t think she had it in her but surprise she does! Very proud of Alex at this moment.

 Finally it all calms down and the Bitches manage to pick out a Brooklyn designer who has clothes that these ho’s would actually wear. Ramona even finds herself a dress with a hooker zipper crotch that Mario can take advantage of when he is not with his mistress. You know the nights he is actually home.

In the end they all got drunk and passed out.

Next stop is crazy eyes Ramona and her friend Joni. Why is this bitch in every other episode ? I’m telling you she wants to be the next house ho in this circus of bullshit. Doesn’t this twat read the blogs and realize that we’re gonna monkey clown on her silly ass?

 I wonder if Ramona payed the dinner bill this time remember Joni on the boat talking shit about Ramona being a cheap skank that didn’t pay Joni’s lunch check?

We learn some revealing and disturbing  things about Ramona and her past and the reasons she wont go to Brooklyn. Ramona fesses up to Joni that her dad was an abusive crazy asshole alcoholic who beat the shit out of her and her mom when they lived at the projects in the bad part of town and so Ramona had to run to Brooklyn with her mom to her Nana’s house to get away from her abusive dad then she cries and says that she got to see her papa 2 weeks before he died because Mario told her to . Wow! That explains so much! Now we know why Ramona is a Pinot Grigio wino with raging diarrhea of the mouth crazy Bitch!

Kelly is sitting with her paid bitch assistant and tells her that she is not going to date that Playboy sewer rat that interviewed her . I think what really happened the sewer rat never called her because he met a younger blonder hotter bimbo.However  Kelly insist it was her idea to not go out with him because she don’t want to mix business with pleasure. Bitch please he flaked on you and you just didn’t want to look dumb!

Then Kelly gets an email from Jill  were she tells her to quit talking to that Bitch Bethenny if she wants to remain friends with Jill or else bad things are gonna happen. Damn! Now she is bulling and trying to control that Bitch too and who she talks to and who she is friends with ? What’s next is she gonna send LuAnn to her house to kick her ass because she talks to Bethenny now? What a Bitch! Controlling much?

Bethenny is outside Jill’s apartment and calls her up on her cell phone to speak to her about all the fuckery going on between the two of them and to try and clear things up. But Jill is such a miserable Bitch she puts Bethenny on speaker blasts so that LuAnn can hear their conversation and laugh at poor Bethenny for trying to salvage her and Jills bullshit friendship . Bethenny asks Jill if anyone is there listening to this fuckery but Jill flat out lies and says that only her assistant is there listening but doesn’t mention LuAss. What a lying asshole!

She does the same exact shit she did to Ramona that day she put her on speaker while the CuntAss was there. I wonder if there is a section in her book that tells you how to fuck with peoples emotions like she is doing to Bethenny.

 Jill talks to Bethenny with this condescending tone of bitch voice as if Bethenny was below her and must get on her knees and beg for her friendship. Bethenny tells Jill that she has blown this whole misunderstanding out or proportion and Jill asks her in the most smart ass way ‘what is that mean?’LOOK IT UP BITCH! Then her and LuAnn laugh at Bethenny.

Then she tells Bethenny the only way she will be her friend is if  she crawls on broken glass that was smeared with dog shit and begs Jill  ” Please forgive me be my friend” In a dog barky voice. Then Jill says“sike!” And her and LuAnn laugh at Bethenny calling her a dumb ass!

Bethenny’s frustrated at how these Bitches are playing with her and is crying and asks Jill why she went off telling everyone about their fight but Jill is just a Bitch and turns everything to be Bethenny’s fault and says that Bethenny did not drop everything in her life to rush to her side to see Bobby in the hospital and that Bethenny is supposed to be physcic and know that Bobby had serious cancer.

 Bethenny however says she had no idea just how really sick Bobby was since Jill has ran amuck all over town and taken fabulous trips and partying with Sancho’s including that used tampon Jonn Gosselin and Lindsey Lohan’s daddy so Bethenny had no idea Bobby was in the hospital dying since Jill did not appear to be by his bedside feeding him soup while he was slashed from ear to ear. All this shit sound verrrrry suspicious because  all the lame excuses Jill has for being pissed at Bethenny and cutting her out of her life are lame LAME!

Like the lame bullshit excuse she first tried to sell everybody by saying that Bethenny told her to ‘get a hobby!’ then there is that lame excuse of Bethenny not rushing to Jill’s side to see Bobby in the hospital and says that Bethenny sending flowers was not enough. Bethenny emailed Jill and asked her how Bobby was doing but Jill of course did not email Bethenny back because either A she is a cunt bitch or B she was too busy galloping around town and partying with Sanchos and douche bags to give a shit and Bobby was not really that sick or Jill just didn’t really give a shit she just wanted to use Bobby’s illness as an excuse to be a ranging cunt to Bethenny because she didn’t want Bethenny to bring up Jill’s escapades with the Sancho’s while Bobby was sick. 

Then when Bethenny brings up the partying and vacationing in Europe  that Jill was doing while Bobby was sick Jill hangs up on her because she wants to be in control of everything even when the conversations and friendships are over.

 In the end Bethenny is outside emotional and crying obviously Jill never gave a shit about Bethenny because her and the CuntAss are sitting there laughing at her saying Bethenny hits below the belt, and that they are both sweating from anxiety. I bet now Jill must be really sweating from anxiety after she realized that her fans are not supporting her spoiled bitch cunt, rag, ways and her bullshit and that she is going to have a hard time peddling that book since it’s going in the 33 cent pile at Big Lots and 90% of her fans have now turned on her after seeing her true colors.

Here is LuAnn with her new boyfriend dressed like a ho’! She looks like  she could be his mom and he looks embarrassed and uncomfortable!

The Gawker just recently reported that LuAnn was out dinning with her new boy toy Jacquez Azoulay and making a fucking ass out of herself by being a demanding twat with an inflated sense of entitlement.

She demanded the cooks make her fries even thought she was there after hours for dinner, she also treated people like they were her peons ,that are below her majesty and are supposed to kiss her ass and wait on her hand and foot by ordering  them to get her food from the buffet because she counld’t get up her fat, lazy, delusional , pompous,  ass and get it herself and to top it off after making all these unreasonable demands she didn’t tip them even a lousy dollar!

The boyfriend was all embarrassed and apologizing for her  CuntAss behavior. I wonder how many times the staff spit loogies in her food and were in the kitchen laughing at her silly ass!

Here is what the tipster told the Gawker:

She attended a party where I work over the weekend. Her new, much-younger boyfriend on her arm, she proceeded to harass the staff to meet all sorts of personal service requests. She required to be served from the buffet rather than get her food for herself (as the other 80 guests did), then made the kitchen make her hot fries even though she appeared hours after dinner was scheduled to be served, asked for more food she didn’t eat, and didn’t tip a dollar. Her uncomfortable date seemed very used to apologizing for her behavior and tipping staff for putting up with it. Dis-countess indeed! Perhaps she should read her own etiquette book.

Also here is some nice  comments someone left on IMDb where they call LuAnn an Old Skank:

My fiance is an established actor and we had the unfortunate experience of meeting the pretentious and inappropriate Countess at an industry event some time ago. We were forced to endure her mind numbing prattling on about all her many accomplishments, her languages, her “amazing” children who vacation in Europe. Basically all she has “accomplished” is being a gold digger who cheats on her husband, spends more time consumed by her narcissism than raising her children, and is an unfortunate bore. During our encounter she proceeded to grope my fiance under the table and later invited him to events which we declined for obvious reasons. Needless to say, we both had a good laugh and were incredibly unimpressed by the Countess’s self indulgent display. Apparently money and countessdom do not buy you class

And:

I am not surprised about this silly Bitches behavior at all.

Everyone has been wondering what’s up with Jill Zarin and all the venom she has been spewing this season to Bethenny Frankel. Jill started out as a fan favorite I admit she was one of my faves also. But this season a new side of Jill has surface a dark side that even I think is too evil. And this is me. So if I think that’s very eeevilll then it’s pretty bad.

Now Bethenny will be going on her own show Bethenny’s getting married and  this is the reason Jill is furious and is suing  Bethenny because Jill claims it was her idea to spin off making it a show about Jill and Beth but now Beth is getting her own show because she stole Jill’s idea !

  Over the last few episodes we have seen Jill constantly emotionally abuse Bethenny to the point of tears while Bethenny pretty much begged her on her knees to reconciliate just to have Jill seek pit bull Countless LuAnn jump Bethenny bodyguard style and shred her to pieces.

Then we have witnessed both bitches gang up on Bethenny. Now people are even posting shit about how Jill Zarin is the most hated housewife and all sorts of rumors and other things are coming out about this whole hate filled season Jill has provided us with so gracefully since, you know, the producers told her to according to Jill.

Thanks to Aguardiente who posted this link . It has a lot of juicey gossip!. The blogger is talking about how during the airing of the show East Coast time there are producers tweeting among each other talking shit about the show and what not, and they have made fun of the Countless and talk shit about Jill.

Other rumors that are surfacing  are that Jill is a bitch and a pain in the ass and the producers cannot stand her so that may be the reason for them trying to edit her in a bad light and why they told her to“bring the drama or lose the apple”.,  Jill has used this as her reason for the way she has behaved this last season and says the producers told her that if she don’t act like a raving fucking nightmare bitch from hell she won’t be on the show anymore. 

 Jill also went on a recruiting campaign getting some other ho’s to jump on the I hate Bethenny Frankel wagon including that bitch from Millionaire Matchmaker Patty Stanger, NeNe Leakes and Teresa Guidice. But surprisingly now none of them ho’s are saying anything else. Could it be they don’t want to be associated with the most hated housewife in history?

Jill has also hired a new PR person and has protected her Tweets so people don’t read what she is up to . All this after thousands of fans are dumping her ass and there are thousands of hate comments geared towards Jill on Facebook, which by the way she is now trying to clean it up since she returned from a vacation in Israel.  Other insider scoops are a spoiler, that someone pregnant will be physically slapped during the reunion show.  Bethenny ? NO!  

Also there are rumors that Jill was cheating on Bobby when he was recovering from cancer. Whaaaa? And that the real reason Jill fired her gay husband Brad and why she and Bethenny are fighting it’s because Bethenny and Brad did not agree with Jill’s cheating ways.

Check out these Tweets and links it even talks about Gretchen Rossi  and her wedding to Slimey and  that Raquel who is Lynne Curtins oldest daughter is pregnant and Lynn is about to become a grandmother! It also says that Alexa may be pregnant and have an abortion, and also read the part where it talks about Lynne getting dragged to rehab in the paddy waggon after showing up  drunk  to the fitting (probably to Gretchen’s fitting to be one of the brides maids) and shredding a wedding dress while crying! Also notice how Jill’s Tweet is protected:

Bethenny @JillzarinJill made all kinds of threats to take legal action ‘gainst Bethenny….THAT’s when B made remark about “Hobby” 11:02 AM Apr 5th

We start at a watering rat hole called the  Pink Elephant where Bethenny and upgrade Jason are impatiently waiting for a drunken Ramona and Mario to stumble in . Bethenny tells upgrade Jason that Ramona is always late although she lives around the corner of this puterio while poor Bethenny and Jason had to drive from the tortilla flats gettho and still made it there to meet that bat shit crazy delusional ho’ and her lookie loo husband.

 Good! Bethenny found a man that can bad mouth and gossip about other people with Bethenny. That is an important thing in a marriage.

 Right as they talking all this shit, Ramona and Mr Eyeballs show up. Mr Eyeballs gives Bethenny a hug and he also pinches her ass; cause he’s a weirdoe like that. Ramona knows. However; she don’t give a rats butthole  what Mario does, as long the Pinot Grigio is coming by the barrel.

Bethenny shares that she had to box The Countless earlier and then Ramona says I had an altercation with that  Bitch too,. her and Jill ear raped me.. luckyly I had my trusty Pinot Grigio by my side and my hair is like Sampson and Delilah and I was able to fight them off …I had to jump up to punch LuAnn’s 6 1/2 foot ass. It  was like punching Sasquatch,… that’s a Huuge Bitch!  

 Bethenny then said to Ramona that LuAnn was packing heat when she met Bethenny at the bar earlier where she almost killed Beth. Poor Beth had to escape while LuAnn’s guns where blazing at her and only missed her by a pubic hair. Then Bethenny says to Ramona You do know her penis grew back the minute her husband left her? I KNEW IT!

The conversation moves on to the shenanigans of LuAnn’s sham of a marriage to the 155 year old Count who sticking his shriveled Viagra dick to other ho’s while LuAnn  was distracted and very busy spreading more than her phone number to random men all over NYC. I KNEW IT! AGAIN!

While Bethenny was going on an on full volume about how she plans to hit LuAnn in the back of the head while she drinks a $27 dollar diet Coke at a fundraiser; Ramona started putting the moves on upgrade Jason and said hello handsome. Because she wants some of that.

Then Ramona says the real reason she is putting the moves on Jason is because she needs to make sure he is good enough for Bethenny. So she is doing Bethenny a favor.

Ramona decides that since upgrade Jason is a low key quiet gentelman and Bethenny is a loud mouth, opiniated, bossy Bitch. YEAH! They will complement each other.

Suddenly everyone jumped up a went dancing. Ramona turned to Jason and said ‘It was nice to meet you in a more intimate level’  she had enough gallons of Pinot Grigio and like 35 shots of Patron to do the crazy Ramona dance for at least 6 hours straight so she jumped up and did the crazy Ramona dance.

Bethenny said that later Ramona had to stop dancing because ‘Ramona likes to dance until your cooch falls off!’ . So I guess Ramona lost her cooch in that dance floor. Ramona found her cooch two days later for sale at the adult store next to the Kinki Kiki’s strip club. She had to buy it back for $3.95 Ramona was pissed because she tried to says her cooch is worth at least $10 dollars  more than that.

 Next day in the Hampton’s LuAnn has been up all night unable to sleep because her ears kept ringing like ghetto nails on a chalk board. So she calls her former housekeeper Rossie to come and help her with a powerfull spell. You see when LuAnn became Countless she could not stay in NYC anymore because the Count needed the NYC pad as a new fuck pad for him and his new Royal Ho’ girlfriend who is younger than him by 95 years unlike LuAnn who is  younger than him by 65 years . Rossie was not able to stay in NYC working for the Count so she quit but she could not come to work for LuAnn in the Hampton’s because  it is too far from Rossi’s home that she was unable to commute.

The  Count also decided that LuAnn’s expiration date of exchange was coming soon so he traded her in for a  newer younger hotter Ho’. And that’s the usual life of mosts Countess and socialite Bitches. Most of the time.

Anyways, Rossie is a powerful high priestess Witch from the Philippines so LuAnn summoned her to come and assist her with this business of Mario calling her Countless and the anger that made her penis grow back after the Count dumped her.

So, since Rossie is also LuAnn’s spiritual confidant friend and consultant she comes to assist LuAnn in her hour of need. LuAnn even brings tea to Rossie.Rossie says she made her Red Snapper potion which LuAnn is supposed to eat for dinner to resolve the Mario situation by causing Mario to taste rancid fish every time he talks about LuAnn being Countless. Don’t fuck with Rossie.

Victoria broke her wrists trying to sneak out the balcony.

Simon and Mario decide to wear the same exact outfit to dinner. Then Ramona finds out both Simon and Mario have been secretly meeting and shopping together Ramona figures this out when they both start naming and recognizing  designers. 

Ramona right away stars fishing for complements from Simon who tells her she looks like a young Cameron Diaz just to fuck with her. Of course Ramona ‘ eats it right up’ Alex put him up to it. Mario tried to make nice with the Countless by calling her and inviting her to his and Ramon’s  Labor day party but the Countless refused to pick up the phone.

Then we see a lovely scene with Jill and LuAnn being besties. LuAnn is the underdog now so it’s her turn to be besties with Jill.

Since these Bitches love to hold on to messages and play them later to everyone else. LuAnn plays the message for Jill that Mario left. Jill then tells LuAnn that Mario said on the message ‘bring it on Bitch!‘. Jill then got on the phone to talk things over with Ramona who thought LuAnn was not listening in even thought she knew Jill was calling her from LuAnn’s phone.

Ramona ends up punching LuAnn throught the phone and  calls her a bar hoping whore who collected men for her male harem the whole time she was married to the old ass Count. Jill wonders if there is any truth to that rumor. LuAnn says she is pleased with Jill’s loyalty to her. Oh well she will find out during the reunion that Jill wonders if the rumors are truth!

Then it all went on to talking shit about Bethenny .  Both Jill and Bethenny are resentful towards each other and even LuAnn tells Jill that her and Bethenny need to patch this shit storm up, and become friends again.

Then a sweet scene of upgrade Jason telling Bethenny he looves her and to move in with him.

Ramona prepares for her party. She trashes Jill to her 14 year old daughter Avery and tells her that Jill should come to her party and ditch LuAnn and blah, blah, blah. Avery has more sense than drunken mom, but her little voice just gets drowned by Ramona’s high pitched- screeches.

LuAnn is entertaining at the Hampton’s home and so she invites Kelly. Jill is ditching Ramona’s party of course. Kelly decided to show up to the LuAnn get together wearing a t-shirt with no shorts on. Bitch looked ridiculous. Like always.

Then she gets all secretive and weird to tell LuAnn and Jill she is posing for Playboy.But the dumb Bitch is wispering it as if nobody is supposed to know . What the fuck?  At first LuAnn thought Kelly went ape shit and beat up her boyfriend again, and then got arrested.

Everybody is gonna see her nakid ass.   Jill was being suportive about Kelly posing for Playboy. But then to the confessional she is totally saying that Kelly is a skanky ho’ and she shoulnd’t be doing shit like that because she has kids.Did you all see Jill’s jaw drop when Kelly told her the news? That is not a jaw drop of happiness for someone else. That is a jaw drop of shock and disgust.

Right away Jill asks if Kelly is showing bush and Kelly immediately says just boobs. Kelly says she is doing Playboy’s 40′s anniversary because she is 80. LuAnn was Jelaaauus! I can see it it’s written on her face. Then of course Jill asks Kelly Do your kids know that their mom is gonna be a nakid skank on a man’s magazine aimed at pervs?

Kelly proudly announce that she will tell her kids. Then of course LuAnn has to say that she was too in some pervy magazine and brings out her nakid pictures for all to see; suddenly Noel walks over to asks his moma LuAnn something stupid. Damn kid was probably listening.

LuAnn hides her nakid pics from her son. And of course the news travels like wild fire  right after that because suddenly the whole kids table is talking about it. Noel says to Victoria he would like to go to the Playboy mansion and Victoria asks why?. Gee I wonder why? Maybe he has a crush on Sasquatch! I hope not, that would be disturbing! 

Then Jill’s husband Bobbi shows up to the dinner. Jill tells Kelly to tell Bobbi she is gonna be in Playboy. Bobbi tells Kelly that he has all the editions of Playboy in mint condition at his moma’s house,from 1969 to 1998 Bobbi proudly tells Kelly he has all of the copys of Playboy.Jill doesn’t like that, but is tolerating it. Look at Jill’s fake smile she wants to punch Bobbi in the face.

 Bobbi is gonna buy a copy of Kelly’s edition because he always had a morbid  curiosity to know what a Big foot woman looks like shaved and nakid. Kelly suddenly realizes that a lot of men are going to  be gawking at her nakid ass on that pervy mag. I guess she didn’t think about that.

Jill also says  she don’t think those dirty mags are in mint condition now that she knows Bobbi has them at his momas house. Well I am sure the pages are stuck together on some of them, other wise mint condition.

 Yeap, Kelly everyone’s gonna see your ass nakid even mom and pop and the siamese twins uncle Gerald and cousins Tina, Cletus, Brandy and the rest of the clan of onkoels aunts, nieces, nephews and cousins, as well as grandpa Chuck and grandma Hazel and even uncle Touchy he is gonna buy extra copies so he can look at them in his special basement. Fucking dumb ass broad! Kelly suddenly realizes that Bobbi will be looking at her nakid ass too! It suddenly dawned upon her.CREEPY!

Back at Ramona’s. Bethenny is over at the Labor day party that Jill is ditching  because she thinks Ramona is a crazy bugged eyed drunken Bitch and also because she hates Bethenny now. Bethenny has to deal with talking to Silex since they had a fall out over the logo thing from last season.Somehow that gets smoothed out.

 During dinner the conversation turns to Jill and how Bethenny and her are no longer friends because Bethenny is no longer the underdog. When a random guest at the table puts in her 2 cents and tells Bethenny that Jill really misses her. Bethenny turns to the woman and says And you are the caterer? Bitch please! You don’t know me like that!

 Alex made the mistake to tell Ramona that she is going to stop by LuAnn’s party and Ramona went ape shit .Then Ramona puts Silex in the middle to totally take sides between her and team Jill  . Bethenny says its psycho nazi warfare. They pressure Alex to pick a team then they totally torture Alex by dipping her head in the lush pool and Alex has to make the phone call to tell Jill and LuAnn that she is not showing up to their party. Now LuAnn and Jill are after Alex and are going to play catch with Alex the next time they see her. 

Here is some  pictures of Bethenny’s wedding . I guess she wore a sweat suit to her wedding! She obviously did not invite Jill, Kelly or the Countless.