It’s Sunday afternoon and Vicki is already making margaritas, of course Vicki been drinking since 9:33 am. It seems that these Bitches have to be drunk all the damn time. Vicki asked Jeanna to come over and comfort her after all the shit the other ho’s put her throught and cries to  Jeanna about how Alexis has not been cool Jeana asks ‘really’ with a big fat smile on her face like she is all happy about it  and  says that Vicki deserved it and had it coming because she was such a bitch last season to Gretchen and Lynne at the racetrack .

 Vicki is now kissing  Jeana’s ass because she realizes Jeana had her back at one point. Vicki tells Jeana that at the end of the day they have each others back and blah blah blah. Jeana agrees but then laughs and says ‘I ain’t got that Bitches back!’  watch Jeana slurping on her margarita she wanted to laugh at Vicki’s face and says ‘fucking bitch she deserves it!’.

They show a clip of Alexi’s horse face yelling and confronting Vicki.

 Vicki says that she knows she bullies  and embarrasses Jeana like for example when she told everyone Jeana tried to borrow money from her. This  caused their friendship to get hurt but that it was nothing like what she experience with ‘these Bitches!’.

Alexis looks like a tranni that works the docs in that purple dress during her little introductory scene. By the way does anyone know what her tranni ass says during her opening line? It sounds like she says ‘ Am I holding nut sacks? of course I am. Look at me!’. Her inflated lips are so huge they flap when she talks making it hard to understand her.

Alexi’s mom is a very succesful dumpster diver at the trailer park she lives at. Yep, she paid for those wooden teeth from all her can collecting business and now she saved 13k for her eyebrow lift because Alexis told her she better fix that huarache face if she wants to continue being her mother. However, stupid Alexis still wonders what does her mom do all day if she is not primping herself and working out or getting needles with Anthrax injected in her forehead; Alexis doesn’t realize her mom has to work hard looking for those cans. Damn! We also saw pictures of Alexis when she was a little boy name Alex who didn’t like his hair smelling like air; all this before that sex change operation.

Alex used to dream of someday being a California blonde housewife with an old hairy greasy ogre of a husband who constantly humiliates her and berates her in public, but who also foots the 200k a year bill for the never ending supply of botox to keep her face from falling,  and who keeps her clad in 7 carats while she incessantly works out paranoid her man will leave her for a younger hotter blonde and pukes all of her food at expensive restaurants to keep from gaining weight. Did ya’ all see when she took her mom to lunch she only took two bites of her food and then she was wondering why she wanted more bread its called being hungry bitch. But Alexis  could not figure that one out even if they drew her a picture so she just nibbles on the bread asking herself why she wants more bread. Alexi’s mom is eyeballing the waiter and pinches his ass.

Here is Alexi’s mom in her younger days. she sure was a hottie. Just kidding! To be fair I really think Alexi’s mom looked better than Alexis except when she takes out her teeth. Her wooden teeth do look fake as hell. 

Alexis drags her mother to her plastic surgeon. She actually has a plastic surgeon!. The mom is just there to get a eyebrow lift that Alexis has been pressuring her to get for many years until finally the mom decides to get it done . Alexis starts going into a spewage about the size of her huge scary freak show teeties she proudly informs her mom that her gigantic porn size twins have given her own twin daughters  nightmares from the time she breastfeed until now. 

 It looks like Alexi’s mom already got some silicone inserted in her she has that old lady with a chankla face with giant teeties that don’t match her face look already down packed. Now she is going in to get that Joker-Face surprised eyebrow look to go with it; you know the type that doesn’t allow their faces to move anymore or show emotion.

The doctor starts rambling off a lists of shit they can do to her face to completely overhaul it. Alexis says good because her mom is plain and ugly. Since Alexis is so beautiful and  glamorous an’ all.The doctor tells the mom that since she is so scary looking he can do a complete overhaul of her face he suggest the classic surprised Joker Face look he also suggest they inject embalming fluid in her eyelids and for the lips some whale fat and eventually doctor Frankestein suggest permanent chola eyeliner that he will tattoo himself and the doctor will also eventually tattoo permanent makeup on the mom just like he did Alexis .

Alexis makes all the plans and arrangements for her mom to come back and get all this other crap done to her face.

Alexis says that as soon as her toddlers go to kindergarten she will be dragging them to the plastic surgeons chair to see what they can do. You know since the Goddess in heaven didn’t make them perfect to begin with.

After all the eviction drama Lynne decided to break into her moms house and live rent free since it was all Franks fault they ended up at the homeless shelter. So Tamra decides to show up with some Bitch wine and find out more on Lynnes problems with her  man, so she can talk shit to the other bitches about it. Lynne tells Tamra she is pissed off at Frank and doesn’t want to see him and she is dumping his broke ass. Tamra asks Lynne ‘does he cheat on you?’Lynne says ‘noo, he is a germaphobe he would never cheat on me!’  Tamra says she doesn’t understand that since Simon always cheats on her.

Lynne’s daughters like, are like having the munchies and eating hamburgers with nasty like ketchup and like discuss the humiliation of getting evicted on national  like, on TV, like, VS all the other times that like, they got evicted and like now they have to like share a bong together like because that makes them become closer.

 So like the whole thing could of being prevented if like the cameras weren’t there and like now everyone knows that like they are not like rich. . So like they will so get a like parent whisperer, they like can hire like Vicki so that like Vicki can like bitch smack them into like disciplining those like brats.Like what the fuck. So like Alexa and Raquel like decide to like move to LA so that like Alexa can go to college and like Raquel ‘ I don’t know what the hell you’re gonna do’ like she will like work as a like stripper. This is the glamorous apartment the girls can afford.

Very Glamorous and so not scary.

We also found out that Brianna did not have cancer thank Goddess!

Tamra had her 75th birthday and since this year Simon cannot afford any more 40 thousand dollar Rolex’s, like back in 2007 or an expensive tennis bracelet;  and forget having a party on a yat this year she better be happy on the Gondola ride and I don’t mean in Venice Italy, I mean the Gondola ride that cost $12 bucks at the docs where the doc ho’s hang out. Simon is surprisingly being nice tonite he tells Tamra that he married her because she has a big mouth, and she is  a crazy ho’. Tamra tells him that he needs to quit lying because he hates her big mouthand she had the same mouth when he married her that she has now.

 Tamra proudly says that her nickname was ‘truckdriver tits!’ Back in the days when she worked at the puteria rathole, where Simon first layed eyes on her. Yep, Tamra reminices about the days when she was a young girl, and a single mother,  and when her regular customers wanted to get her attention while she was sitting at the bar stool waiting for Jonhs they used to say ‘Hey Truckdriver Tits!’ and Tamra would turn. True story.

Tamra continues to desperately make Simon and Vicki friends, but Simon tells Tamra Vicki is evil and everyone has a good side even hitler. What a sicko! Simon also believes his marriage is similar to the I Love Lucy 50’s marriage, untill he gives her the boot and serves her with divorce papers in a few months.

 Tamra still manage to throw a birthday party at some local eatery where they start serving drinks at 10 am so by 11am Tamra was naked wasted. Vicki of course could not make it even thought her office is 5 minutes away. But because Vicki has to ‘work’ instead of stoping by to drop off Tamra’s present she send her gay assistant to drop it off. Did ya’ all see him all exicted when he saw Tamra’s gay friend over at the birthday party. They remember each other from that one night stand. Tamra’s pissed Vicki could not show up to deliver the present which is a turd in the bag by the way.

Of course Lynne took Frank back, because she knows his broke ass adores her and having a man who is a germaphobe is a very good thing. So she takes him back besides she is the only woman that will take his punk ass back when he comes out of jail for ripping off those dumb ass people for 2.5 million that they blew through in 1 year.

Gretchen got all ready for her makeup line launch and her friend came over to do her werewolf eyebrows.  That chick that  does Gretchen’s eyebrows looks just like her. Now remember Vicki told Gretchen that she may not be making a wise decision investing her money into a makeup line that’s underdevelop and in this economy specially when Gretchens face looks like she being having too much nose candy and her complexion looks like caca.

 I bet Gretchen and that partner of hers thought up this brillian idea of starting a make up line when they where on one of their meth benges  ’I know lets open up a make up line well become millionaires well open it with the money Jeff left me and we will make millions and that will buy a lot of meth’.

Yeah, so Grechie thinks that 30 thousand people will show up to this event and she will become instantly successful because of who she is and the high profile star that she is on the housewives show. Only 5 people show up at the women’s expo 3 of them have no idea who Gretchen Rossi is one person recognizes Gretchen Rossi and ignores Gretchen when she says ‘ hello’ then walks away laughing because she can’t stand her on the show and thinks she is a joke so of course she dont buy anything  either and the only customer they get is a poor  girl who is high off her ass and Gretchen along with her partner end up jumping on that girl like vultures and presure her into spending money .

The girl ends up spending only like 10 dollars but she has no idea who Grechen Rossi is. So she don’t even care to take a picture with her. Wow and Gretchen only spend like 800k into that makeup line and made a sweet 10 bucks. While on one of the confessional interviews Gretchen looks tore up and sucked up from the meth benges and you can tell she feels stupid that her make up line was a busts and admits the economy is bad and people don’t want to spend money on bullshit makeup when they can’t even afford food. Before her makeup launch went in the toilet along with the 800k she invested in it, Gretchen did say her motto is either go big or go home. So I guess she better go home.

End of the Summer Poop Splat

Tamra gets ready to go to the end of summer poop splat while she’s already drinking and Simon is already being his controlling abusive self. Every dress Tamra shows him that she wants to wear is met by Simon’s criticisms. She pulls out one dress with the sexy low back and he tells her that looks like something a 20 year old stripper would wear, she pulls out another fabulously slutty dress and he tells her that something a tranny street walker would wear.

He acts very annoying and is driving her nuts Simon is not just controling but he also makes sure he is impossible to deal with wich makes Tamra drink more.  Tamra finally finds a short dress that covers her chests but Simon tells her it show her legs . Tamra tells Simon she is not a troll either and should be able to wear something sexy and pretty. However Tamra is wearing the troll hairstyle tonite.

Tamra and Simon get picked up by their personal limo paid for by Bravo. The limo driver is a tall black man whom Tamra flirts with because she thinks he’s yummy. Simon tells her to quit that shit or he is gona bitch slap her. I knew it! While they are in the limo they get into a big ass fight again over Vicki. Simon continues with his obsession that it is Vickis fault that their marriage is falling apart.Simon tells Tamra he wants a wife who respects him and acts like she is married, he is saying this because he is pissed off at Tamra flirting with the limo driver .

Then Simon moves on to call Tamra a shitty mother and tells her she ditches her kids to go get hammered and hang out with Vicki, Tamra screams‘I’m with my kids everyday!.. well if you were working and making money we wouldn’t be fucked in this sit- position, you’re an asshole!… you know what you can go fuck yourself you fucking asshole You’re a nasty vile person,…you’re an asshole,… I want a divorce! fuck you!’ It’s obvious Simon cannot tolerate this woman and Tamra knows it; she is beyond frustrated.

All this time the poor limo driver had to hear this drama bullshit and I bet he felt uncomfortable as hell too because he knew the fight got fueled because of him when Tamra started flirting with him and it pissed Simon off. How fucked up how awkward that must of been for this poor limo driver who is just earning his money.

Gretchen also gets ready for her party she has the Little House Slut on The Prairie hair style. Slimey and Gretchen wear wedding cake dress up clothes. Gretchen wonders if her family will be there. But they ditch her  because they are embarrased of her being with a loser.

When Simon and Tamra arrive at the party she is already crying Simon tells her to quit crying and tries to hug her of course he shows no emotion and is just talking to her because the cameras are there.

At the party Simon and Tamra each go their separate ways Simon is all pissed off and vile he starts shit with Donn and says ‘wow Vicki is leading Donn!’  because him and Vicki walk away from him  Vicki says she doesn’t want any drama. A tough fairy Queen steps in and bitch smacks Simon and puts him in his place the Queen says to Simon ‘Don was leading Vicki away don’t be mad at Vicki’ Simon just backs down. Damn Right!

Gretchen and Slimey arrive and everyone pauses to look at their wedding cake clown suits. Of course Gretchen and Slimey want to keep believing everyone is laughing with them not at them. Keep thinking that! Laurie tells Gretchen that she is delusional if she thinks Slade is gonna marry her and be a good huusband. Gretchen tells Lauri to back off since Slimey told Gretchen that him and Laurie never dated. And Gretchen believed him. Dumb ho’ didn’t she follow the gossip of that wreckage and seen for herself.  What an idiot!

Gretchen tells Laurie that Slimey would never sleep with such a scary bitch that looks like the twin sister of the crypt keeper because Slimey is ’such a catch!’and she’s gonna marry him.Laurie laughs at Gretchen and tells her that she did more than just date him she also blew him, by the trash can, at the alley behind the 7 eleven  a few times and also let him bang her from behind inside the 76 gas station restroom. For some reason Slimey always wanted Laurie to wear a paper bag on her head whenever they had sex. Gretchen decides to plug her ears and starts yelling ‘LA,LA, LA, LA!’.

Lynne, Frank and their 2 pole dancing hoochies in training show up plastered. Slimey made sure he informed Frank his girls were drunk and everyone heard him since he is the parent of the year voice of morality. Lynne pretended she had no idea there was booze in the limo and the girls got into the booze. This Bitch never has no idea what the fuck is going on with her kids, what else is new.

 The rest of the night focuses on Tamra crying over Simon being an ass and she tells Vicki she is scared of Simon and of pissing him off because he may beat her ass.  Simon eventually walks out and leaves Tamra at the party.

Jimbo invites Frank and Lynne to church and Frank asks Jimbo if they have dougnuts there because he will have the crazy munchies since the only way he will go to church is if he is stoned because that is the only way the sermon will make sense to him.

Alexa is drunk off her underage ass and fights with Raquel who also leaves her because she is always over it. Kara takes the roll of big sister and conforts Alexa who is bipolar, and changes her mood and stops the waterworks, the minute Kara tells Alexa she knows of a cute boy who attended the party and if she would like to meet him.

In the end we all learn what we all knew was gonna happen. Lynne and Frank had to move to  the trailer park and sell cuffs at the swap meet so Lynne hired Frank . Alexis got a job as a plastic surgery tranni consultant and Jimbo let her ! It’s a miracle. Vicki is still bossing Don around and even thought  Tamra  said the last thing she wanted was be 42 on welfare living at the Sunnyvale trailer park next to Lynne that’s exactly what happened since she and Simon separated and he gave her the boot to the ass with some divorce papers. Gretchen and Slimey are still losers.

It seems that the troll that Vicki was supposedly making out with  hasn’t shut up yet and a couple days ago he went and did a video interview where he was spewing out some bullshit about how he made out with Vicki and felt her up and that she was a good kisser and had nice big boobs.

Vicki on the other hand denies the rumor as a bunch of bullshit and says this loser just wants his 15 minutes and that her husband and that trolls girlfriend was there so obviously nothing happened:

I want to deal with this STAR magazine. ALL allegations are false, I NEVER danced with him, he never made out. In fact, he was there with his girlfriend of 3 years and his parents. My encounter with him only lasted 5 mins. He would not leave me alone asking to take pictures. I have several witnesses that will come forw…ard and say “nothing happened.” This guy just wants his 15 mins of fame. What a loser.

Yesterday Vicki went to People Magazine to tell them that creepy Mike is a lying sack of shit:

Vicki Gunvalson: cougar on the prowl? No way, says the Real Housewives of Orange County star.

The 47-year-old married mother of two is slamming a Star magazine report quoting University of Manitoba student Mike Pullin who says they locked lips while on vacation in Puerto, Valllarta, Mexico recently.

Addressing photos in which Gunvalson appears to be kissing Pullin, she tells PEOPLE, “He … told me it was his birthday and wanted a birthday kiss. He seemed nice, but very star struck!”

She obliged with a peck, but says, “I never ‘made out’ with him, as he stated. I never let him touch me inappropriately — ever.”

Pullin also gives a toned-down version. “Honestly we all hung out for a couple hours that night, her friends and mine,” he tells PEOPLE. “We drank together, danced a bit, took lots of photos, and we kissed! The pics are real, but it wasn’t as bad as Star made it out be, wasn’t really cheating.” — Charlotte Triggs.

What do you Bitches think? Was the Vickster just drunk and fooling around but dind’t take it that far as Mike says she did or do ya’ all think he felt her up like he says he did? 

According to Star Magazine, Vicki Gunvalson was out partying and cheating on Donn while in Puerto Vallarta with some 25 year old punk. However some insiders told me, Donn was there and she was just being flirty and that the college guy just wanted to get money for the story. Well that looks veeerrrry flirrrttty to me. Who knows. Maybe  her and Donn have an open marriage that’s why she always gets caught with her pants down (pun intended!)

From Star Magazine:

The Real Housewives of Orange County’s Vicki Gunvalson has been married 15 years, but her husbandDonn was the last thing on her mind when she kissed a 25-year-old college student while partying in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, last month.Journey. She was living it up. She kept talking to me. She was a big flirt.”

“Vicki was extremely outgoing and having a great time, like a sorority girl,” University of Manitoba student Mike Pullin tells Star about his wild night with Vicki. “We clicked immediately and danced to rock ‘n’ roll by Bon Jovi and

When Mike bought a round of tequila shots for their group, Vicki gave him a very special thank you — a big kiss on the lips! As the two continued to drink they grew closer — and so did their lips. Before long, they were full-on making out!

“She was a very good kisser. Then I felt her up, but she moved my hand away. It was clear she didn’t want to go too far because her friends were there and people were watching. But I wanted to fool around with her.”

This Mike guy also told Star Magazine that Vicki left him with blue balls because I guess she bailed on him after making out with him and dick teasing him. He also gave her his email address and phone number but she never contacted him again. EVER! How funny.

This picture of the 2 dollar church whore surfaced on this website called goodplasticsurgery.com. This other website called awfulplasticsurgery.com says she used to have a ‘buttaface’.

Before: she had a fat face, she looked like some sort of an alien  gofer that someone hit with a hot waffle iron.

 After: she looks like a horseface tranny with an Adams’ apple and tuba lips.The work didn’t really help much.

Tamra Barney is once again admitting to Radaronline that she is dating this Queen  36 year old Eddie Judge. Didn’t she admit to dating him? But then, she backed peddled and said she wasn’t dating him? Next week she is gonna say she is not dating him again. This Bitch needs to make up her mind. The 110 million dollar question here is : Did this Bitch take out her implants? Because she doesn’t seem as busty in this picture. If so did she do it  to piss off Simon? Or did Simon have the doctor that put those implants repossessed them, since Simon gave her the boot an’ all? And he wont be playing with them anymore.

Things that make you go “Hmmm”?

Episodes 12 and 13 of this train wreckage!

I guess it was Raquel that got served the eviction notice contrary to what I posted on my last recap. So Raquel opens the door and a man is standing outside and slaps her in the face with an eviction notice.

Princess Raquel is horrified that she is being served an eviction notice and doesn’t understand why so she calls her mom Lynne on the phone and proceeds to curse and yell at her moma Lynne, about what the fuck is going on.

Lynne and her 2 spoiled daughters are horrified that they’re ass is getting eviction notice in front of the cameras they are just horrified because now the jig is up and we all know they’re not rich folk like they said they were.

They gotten their asses evicted before, many times, but Lynne is more horrified about the fact that this time the Bravo cameras were around to capture the whole embarrassing event and now we all know her and her family are not rich but rather a circus wagon of con artist that move from rented beach house to rented beach house pretending their rich and blowing all their money on expensive fucking shit like wild ass shopping sprees, expensive luxury cars and plastic surgery and getting evicted each time they move around because they don’t pay their rent or any important shit like electricity, groceries and other necessities.

Instead they sneak to the neighbors when the neighbors are at work and hook up Franks construction orange extension cable to get electricity. Genius!

This fucking show is just become depressing these bitches cannot even pretend to be rich no more. They are all supposed to live this fabulous life we are all supposed to envy and now we all see it was all bullshit. Damn people that read this blog have more money than some of these fake ho’s! Hilarious!

Alexa is hiding under the blanket because she has no make up on and is also embarrassed, that they finally got caught on camera getting evicted. Lynne is the one who is most pissed she says this is the worst thing that could ever happen to them and she feels guilty as hell that she didn’t get the eviction notice and blah blah blah. Yeah right! These people get evicted every 6 months out of beach houses all over the OC except this time the cameras where there to capture the whole eviction ordeal in all it’s fatal glory in front of God and the whole nation.

Did ya’ all notice how when she was saying ‘I felt guilty as hell that I did not receive the… eviction notice…, I wish that I would of received it not my 2 daughters!’ her face was staying still, frozen like a wax figure. You cannot even tell with this Bitch if she is pissed or not.

 Then the big confrontation takes place, and Lynne meets Frank at some park . Which is where they all camp out at, later that night. Lynne confronts Frank on their eviction issues and Frank admits to her that he fucked up and didn’t pay the security deposit of 10k. I guess Lynne has been used to having hubbie handle the finances while she lives in a world of smoky haze shopping and wine and don’t forget plastic surgery and spend spend spend.

Lynne admits she lets hubbie handle the finances while she just sits and looks pretty and they have a pattern of living beyond their means.But she just admits it but is not willing to do anything about it or fix it! She just blames Frank. Remember when she came on to the RHOC show how she was all bragging about being a spoiled wife and that she was spoiled enough to get anything she wants and they own their beach house.

Yes, Frank fucked up and lied and told her there was no deposit on the house but Lynne doesn’t see that she just spends and spends and doesn’t help out. She keeps on interrupting Frank while he tries to explain to her why their getting their asses evicted and he finally gets tired of her and tells her to shut it.

Frank tells Lynne that they been living beyond their means for a while and that’s why they are sinking in this quick sand whole of shit their in. Frank admits he allowed the family to live beyond their means and got in over his head because he wanted to allow his spoiled princesses to live the good life that they were accustomed to but never could really afford.

Instead of going on wild shopping sprees and spending on 2k worth of clothes and bullshit they should of been buying their clothes at the salvation army and saving their money to pay rent.Lynne starts bitching to Frank about keeping things from her and tells him he treats her like she is stupid and can’t handle the truth.

 Frank tells her that, is the reason he keeps things from her because she’s stupid and can’t handle the truth and that she lives in a ‘microcosm’ of bullshit that is not even real! NO SHIT! Someone had to finally tell this ho’. But Frank, also enables her spending behavior so he is just as pathetic. I agree you gotta fake it till you make it but this ho’ is not even trying to make it.

Take some responsibility for your wild shopping sprees ho’. Frank tells Lynne he wouldn’t have to lie to her if she could handle the truth and did not make demands to live in high price neighborhoods. No shit Sherlock! This ho’ should of being getting a job and the money from the housewives show where is that at? Why aren’t the 2 brats working at Starbucks?

If they all had a job and Lynne was not spending money pretending she is rich this shit would of never happen.Lynne keeps trying to talk over Frank and he tells her to quit cutting him off and listen and that they need to quit their wild spending. Stupid Lynne says that she finally made money from her cuffs of whore business and that the money is going to all these expenses, what? blowing money on shopping sprees and bullshit?.

Then Lynne says ‘ I don’t think I can get over it!’ then she says ‘I’m over it!’ What? Make up your mind Bitch! Which one is it? You are over it? Or you’re not? What the fuck! Did ya’ all see when she walks away her tight size “0″ jeans are too tight for her size 12 butt, and she walks all stupid like she’s holding her farts in, and the high heels are uncomfortable as hell as she walks away walking all retarded she says ‘I’m so sick of this shit sick of it’. What a stupid bimbo!

Lynne cries and can’t move her face is like a wax figure she has to tell everybody how she feels because we cant tell she is crying or happy.

Then we see a tender moment between Hurricane Vicki and her daughter Brianna who is worried about some lumps she has in her neck that may be cancerous. That’s some fucked up shit. Poor thing. Vicki says she has to work on Brianna’s next appointment. Bitch better go that appoitment! I hope to God Brianna is well.

After the whole eviction fiasco. Lynne and the 2 daughters went over to gram-grams house and when gram-gram heard Lynne’s voice outside her door she pretended she wasn’t home, so Lynne and the 2 brats had to go to the OC homeless mission where Lynne hooked up with a hobo. Frank slept in his car. I remember when I wrote about the Lynne Curtin eviction fiascoes!

After getting evicted and having money and rent problems what does Lynne do to resolve the problem? She left her 2 daughters at the homeless shelter and took off to the San Francisco girls getaway and spend money on a 2k jacket . Stupid Bitch. And she wonders why they can’t afford rent. First she is all upset with her huusband because he’s wallet dried up and he can’t provide her with the easy ho’ life anymore then she tells the other ho’s that she got paid from her sale of her cuffs of whore and she is blowing all the money on a jacket that cost 2 grand.

Instead of using that 2 grand to get an apartment or pay her damn rent and help her husband out she selfishly buys an ugly ass jacket that is way overpriced. Bitch needs to take some lessons in financing but her 2 braincells don’t function anymore. Instead of taking the financial seminar with Vicki she needs to get slapped for being so stupid.That Bitch is depressing. Bitch went and told Tamra that they got evicted and shit .

Tamra was laughing at Lynne until she remembered she is getting the boot from her house too. The next encarnacion of the housewives is gonna be called trailer trash ho’s . Tamra tries to advice Lynne to not get a divorce little does she know she is going to be going through the same shit soon.

Gretchen and Alexis had lunch and ordered a Skinny Girl Margarita and pissed off the waitress acting like stupid Bitches. I bet their food gets spit on a lot specially Alexis. Alexis is so christian she always has booze with her lunch. She starts drinking at 11am.

I am surprised that Jimbo let his ho’ go to San Francisco by herself he says he has a lot of meetings that are unavoidable and he must stay behind to take care of such meetings. What that really means is that he must of find a hot date on Craigslist in the adult casual encounters section and couldn’t miss it. He probably took his date back to his flea motel. Bitch says that her and her husband have up to this point never traveled alone. Now that she has the Bravo cameras wrecking her already wrecked life this is not going to be the only thing that they are going to be doing alone.

However once that stupid ho’ is in San Francisco with the other ho’s her needy husband constantly calls her to make sure she ain’t fucking around with nobody. Of course he called her once he was done getting his BJ from the tranny he hooked up with on Craigslist.

Crazy ass Vicki says that Alexis is self centered and wants all eyes on her. But then again all this ho’s are self centered and want all eyes on their bloated egotistical asses.

They all go to some expensive high class restaurant where they don’t know how to behave. That stupid Alexis wanted to taste what Gretchen was having and after she tasted it she hurls into the napkin. This is a 200 dollars a meal restaurant and the 2 dollar whore doesn’t like the food because she doesn’t understand it. It’s not Mickey D’s that’s why.

Fucking Hurricane Vicki says to the other ho’s not to put their purse on the floor because it’s bad luck the money goes away. I always say that too how funny. Stupid Vicki you’re a genius! Bitch!

The rest of the evening was all about Alexis puking and when she wasn’t puking or shitting under the table, because she did that too , she took like 47 phone calls from her lord and master Jimbo while he bossed her around and questioned what she was doing. Alexis was all nervous on the phone with Jimbo while he interrogated her, Jimbo : ‘what are you doing Bitch? Is there another man there?’ Alexis: ‘nothing we’re just having dinner’ . See all nervous. He even called her when he was taking a shit in his car to tell her about that. What a weirdoe!

All the Bitches were getting annoyed with Jimbo calling that ho’ like 50 times! Not just Vicki. Lynne was rolling up her eyes Tamra was getting all pissed making comments. So I don’t understand why she jumped on Hurricane Vicki for getting on her for that. Hurricane Vicki should of gone Hurricane on that Bitches ass and flipped a table at her. Someone needs to smack Alexis and I don’t mean Jimbo because he does that already I mean one of these ho’s needs to slap her!

Vicki brought Brianna with her as a shield hoping that if she brings her kid those Bitches are going to have some respect for her since she has her kid with her but of course she should of known better that those Bitches have no respect for nobody not even for a poor girl who may be having cancer.

So the biggest cunt of them all that goes by the name of Alexis who has been speaking to her lord and master Jimbo the whole time on the phone time being rude and obnoxious gets all pissed off at Vicki because she is later on during their next meal taking business calls and starts shit with her being a disrespectful aggressive beotch.

 Alexis takes the cake as the most ridiculous cunt that ever appear on the RHOC with her self righteous I’m holier than thou hypocritical attitude when we all know she is nothing but a 2 dollar whore. Vicki calls Alexis ‘classless trash’. No shit Vickster, don’t forget ‘trashbox’like NeNe would say.

‘How many flavors of disfuntion can you taste in this lunch?! ‘The Bullshit Continues/ Episode 13

The next episode continued with that bullshit ass lunch where that classless ‘trashbox’by the name of Alexis, continued her hostile tirade against Hurricane Vicki. She kept looking at Vicki while Vicki took her business calls with an angry evil look like she was gonna kill the other Bitch she would take a sip of her glass and stare all evil. You can see the evil through her even that trashbox ho’ Danielle Staub aka Joker face doesn’t even reach the level of evil and creepinest that Alexis has in her. But I guess when you sleep with a ruthless evil loser like Jimbo something must rub off.

I never thought I see such and angry trannie Alexis is a very angry, unhappy, hateful, hostile cunt you can see it through her face this Bitch is not happy here she says that no one is going to disrespect her and talk down to her but what about Jimbo? He talks down to her all day.  Why don’t she stand up to him and use some of that misplaced anger on him?

And there you have it Bitches! With the women she wants to be the center top queen the Alpha Female and will tear up the other Bitches at all cost but with Jimbo she wimpers and is obedient because he tells her she don’t know what the fuck ’surf and turf ‘ is. 

All this misplaced anger Alexis presents is to compensate for the lack of respect she gets from Jimbo and the fact that she has no control in that fucked up marriage . And since Alexis can’t tell Jimbo off because if she does he beats her ass she goes out and gets into fights with females it all makes perfect sense!

Damn this Bitch may even be more dysfunctional and fucked up in the head than  Kelly Bensimon The Beast, who appears normal next to her. Even miss‘who gonna check me booh?’ Sheree Whitfield is more normal than this ho’. Damn! I knew church people that use religion to hide their fuck ups are more fucked up than non-church folk. No wonder I don’t go to church.

Hurricane Vicki is a pain in the fucking ass and she is crazy and everybody already knows that but instead of just smacking her on the nose with a newspaper like everybody usually does Alexis decided she was going to use her powers of manipulation to gang jump Vicki and got all the other Bitches to jump Hurricane Vicki while they all beat her ass in front of Brianna.

Tamra was easy to persuade into jumping the lets kick Vicki’s ass bandwagon because the Bitch just jumps on the winning team and when she sees people ganging up on one Bitch she jumps in and joins them, like a monkey, even thought she used to say Vicki was her friend. Of course later on Tamra completely lies to Vicki’s face and says she stood up for her, blah, blah. Don’t these Bitches remember everything is on camera?

 Gretchen jumped in the bandwagon because she gets violent when she is on meth and she hates Vicki anyways, because Vicki always hated her. And Lynne is so stupid she don’t know what’s going on so she just goes to the bathroom. Pendeja!

Out of all these ridiculous ho’s I agree with Brianna that she is the only grown up woman and she is only 23 all these Bitches need to grow the fuck up. Specially Alexis!. And I also agree with Brianna about not hanging around imature Bitches. Too much drama.

Vicki ran away crying after she got her ass beat and then poor little Brianna had to stay and smack those Bitches around. I wish she would of pulled an Ashley and pulled Alexis weave off. I am sure the bitch is bald like an eagle under that blond fake hair.

When Gretchen is talking you can see all the meth sores in her mouth and her eyes are all sunken. Gross!

After Alexis got all the other ho’s to beat Vicki’s ass she decided to turn up the dysfunctional a little more and force everyone to pray together making her the peacemaker. She needs to make sure she uses her powers of manipulation for evil . She did a fake ass long winded prayer that went on an on and she din’t even make sense. Stupid sick bitch she din’t mean a thing on that prayer. Of course!

Vicki says that this twat‘is a hypocrite period’ Bitch hypocrite doesn’t even begin to describe what this ho’ is.

Yep because only a low budget gutter ho’ with a loser pawn shark creepy husband would have their pastor and his wife over for breakfast so that they can asks the pastor and his wife what do they think of Alexis porn size scary teeties. Yeap, did ya’ all see the horrified what the fuck? look on that lady’s (the pastors wife) face . She looked at Jimbo like he was telling her that he pees in the holy water sometimes. Priceless. It was indeed an awkward moment.

Then the pastor dude, tries to smooth shit out by saying Alexis can use her big circus teeties to help people come to Jesus. I bet those people know the Bellinos are a joke and wanted to say something else but they refrained themselves from telling that 2 dollar church whore and her creepy hussbaand the truth because they want to be on TV to promote their church. And it backfired on them! See, people like the Bellinos is the reason why I refuse to be a part of any organized church conundrum. That, and the fact I was told Vampires can explode if they enter a church and I haven’t been to one since then, I don’t want to find out.

 Gretchen’s parents hate Slade. It’s just that the dad is better at hidding it than the mom. Gretchens dad steps on some Slimey and has to wipe his shoes in the grass. Gretchen gets drunk off her ass and starts slurring some shit about how everyone should be for lease. Gretchen says that she is going to put Slimey on a lease because she may want to trade him in for a new model with more mileage but more money. Slimey gets all butt hurt. Gretchen’s mom tells Gretchen to shut the fuck up because she is making an ass of herself but drunken ass Gretchen just keeps going sticking her whole foot and leg into her mouth.

That’s it Bitches! Peace!

Well, well, well, I am not surprised at the raunchy pictures this ho’ send to some men’s magazine. This is Alexis Bellino before she married Taliban Ass Jimbo. Bitch has a buttaface. No wonder the plastic surgeon that fixed her face couldn’t fix that bump on her nose or knock the fugly off her. These raunchy pictures look just like the shit that 2 dollar ho’s post on Craigslist.

And speaking of Craigslist her husband his unholy creepinest Reverend Jafar Jimbo owns some cheesey little motel in Laguna that he advertises on Craiglist for $195 a night. He calls it a ’boutique hotel’. But some website was saying it looks like office spaces and it had a for lease sign for a long time. Yea and he is advertising on Craiglist of all places he probably also rents it out by the hour to the Craiglist ho’s.

Jimbo seems to have some questionable binezz practices.  I am sure everyone read all about how his punk ass got in trouble with the feds for some counterfeit bullshit. I also read somewhere he used to own some restaurant called Margaritaville and it closed down he also closed down his pool table business.

FBI’s Operation Bullpen hooks network

SAN DIEGO – The FBI’s Operation Bullpen has infiltrated and dismantled a network of 20 forgers, authenticators, wholesalers, and retailers who are responsible for the creation and sales of up to $100 million of forged memorabilia, items that are both sports and nonsports-related. Twenty individuals, all from California, are cooperating with federal officials in pleabargaining agreements on a variety of fraud and tax charges.

And,

In addition, the FBI told Sweet Spot that the operations of the J. DiMaggio Company have been shut down. In addition a significant number of items that were known forgeries carried a certificate of authenticity attributed to Don Frangipani; and Robert Proudy and Jim Bellino of Forensic Document Services (FDS). Forged items were supported by fake or misleading authentication documents. However, no charges have been brought against the latter authenticators.

James Carlos Bellino owned Forensic Document Services located at 1115 N. Tustin Ave, Orange, CA.. According to the tip, federal prosecutors deferred prosecution, “a short hand way of letting Bellino off with almost $30,000 restitution, went on probation for a year, and got out of the sports memorabilia business”. The person who supplied the tip wondered if this Jim Carlos Bellino was the husband of Alexis Bellino, the newest housewife on Real Housewives of Orange County. According to the tipster, who had access to the deferred prosecution agreement and, a bankruptcy document involving Rectivity, a pool table company Alexis’ husband had ties to, the signatures are the same.

According to our source, the Jim C. Bellino indicted for mail fraud is Alexis’ Jim Bellino.

No wonder they go to that fake ass joke of a church for like 25 minutes once a week, the rest of the time Alexis and Jimbo spend it drinking excessively, cursing like sailors all while Alexis dresses like a 2 dollar church whore. Damn! Jimbo must have a lot of old, recent and present skeletons in the closet, that wreak like putrid guilt and he wants to hide them behind a Bible.  I bet more shit is going to come out on these two assholes.There is also some spewage about how they tried real hard to get into the RHOC :

“Alexis and Jim did everything they could to get on this show. They bought a house from Jeana and befriended her. They bought a car from Simon and befriended him. Alexis joined Gretchen’s gym and befriended her. They watched the show every week since it’s been aired and tried to get as many connections as possible. I do have to say, it worked. Though it was expensive! Fancy houses and luxury cars aren’t cheap. Hope they feel it is worth it.”

All this desperate bullshit to get Alexis on the show,  is ridiculous. And now there is this latest development that Alexis has 2 jobs and had to let go of one of the nannies.She posted on Twitter that she shouldn’t be judged . She should of thought about that before she joined the circus of ridiculous ho’s that is RHOC. She put her life out there for us to clown at, and that’s exactly what’s happening so deal with it.

I love it !

This is Alexis and Jimbo this last Valentines at Vegas where they partied with Gretchen and some other skanks . Is it just me or does this fat motherfucker look more fat and ugly each time we see him. Damn he’s fugly! Who the fuck would want to hit on his ugly fat ass??

And what the fuck is that whore wearing on her wrist? Is that like a writst version of an ankle bracelet that Jimbo put on her wrist so he can keep her on a short leash so she don’t end up wondering off in Vegas with another sugar daddy? I wonder if Jimbo has a remote control for that shit, so when Alexis starts acting up, he pushes a button and it gives her an electric shock like they do to Dobermans.

Alexis also went ape shit and threw a stomping crying hissy fit when she heard Wendy Williams tell Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens that her favorite housewife is Crazy Ass Vicki. I never thought I say this but seriously next to Alexis Crazy Ass Vicki seems normal. Also a viewer posted that stupid Alexis had an announcement on her fan page on Facebook, that she later deleted, that said if Bravo allows Pro-Vicki comments to be posted and quit censoring Pro-Alexis comments that she was not going to blog for them anymore. She throws a fit like a spoiled 8 year old. She thinks her shit don’t stink.

Bitch thinks that just because she is Alexis, that suddenly she is supposed to be everyone’s favorite ho’ because the world revolves around Alexis and when it ’s not about Alexis she cries. I would of love to see that Bitch crying and throwing a fit.

Alexis still under the delusion that just because she joined the RHOC she is going to come out smelling like lilles and roses but instead she is going to find out she is going to come out smelling like an Olympic size swimming pool of smelly wet orangutan shit. You can’t polish a turd!

Update check out what my reader Jen posted. Yes Jimbo is a loan shark. Check out this Craiglist link.

And this other one by my reader mzfuller on Radaronline.

This is his actual mug shot!

Slade Slimey made it to the top list on Mostwanteddeadbeats.com. Gretchen Rossi tried to bullshit  Slimey’s unemployment situation in an interview she had with Los Angeles Times saying he owns a ‘consulting business’ Yeah right! The only ‘consulting’ he performs is when he tells that ho’ to wear the pink thong instead of the black one!. These Bitches just keep contradicting themselves and cannot even keep their lies straight.  On Radaronline it is listed that Slimey has said that he is gutter broke and don’t have money to pay shit for his childsupport tab of 80k . Slimey also states he  was a homeless ho’ who was forced to move in with Gretchen in exchange for sex and light cleaning. So she supports his ass! Just like we all knew already. From Radaronline:

“I have been left indigent and financially destitute,” he said in the papers. Other papers reveal that Slade’s son spends 1% of his time with Slade and 99% of his time with his mother.

Gretchen has some more bad news just like the link my reader mzfuller posted the link here . Thanks  to mzfuller  . Gretchen is getting forced to disclose her assests because of that whole ordeal with Jay Photoglou who took her to court and the judge forced  Gretchen to pay Jay 18k. Gretchen denies getting money from Jeff Beitzel but now she will be forced to disclose this. If she did get money from her sugar pappi she has not really enjoyed it with all these Karmic shit storm situations she keeps going throught that are hustling her out of money fast. That’s what happens when you act a fool.

It appears that all the bleach on Tamra Barney’s hair must of somehow penetrated her skull, because she forgot that she had  admitted to Radaronline a few days ago, that she is dating this Eddie Judge character(who looks like his favorite disco song is ‘It’s Raining Men’) Tamra  flat denied to the OC register that her and Eddie  are dating. Radaronline reporter Alan Butterfield said AWW, HELL NO! And went and told the OC register that crazy Bitch was straight up lying because a few days ago, she admitted to them, that she was sleeping with this queen.  (Even with the bushy eyebrows I still think he’s gay and Tamra is paying him to pretend she is doing him, I don’t know we’ll see)

Here is what went down, from the OC Register:

Tamra denies that she and Judge are dating or are a couple. “We’re really good friends,” she said in an interview today. “I think he’s a wonderful person. He’s helped me a lot through this. If something does evolve, I’d be lucky.”

The Radaronline reporter, Alan Butterfield, called the Register back and said Tamra’s recent text messages indicate there is a relationship between Judge and herself. The messages went something like this:

Butterfield: How long have you been dating him?
Tamra: Since last week. We’ve been friends for a year.

Butterfield: Are you sleeping with him?
Tamra: Yes, since last week.

Aguardiente you are right her stockings do look like varicose veins. Her outfit also looks like the shit that the hookers in Tijuana wear at the cantinas. Very classy.

Thanks to reader Alex for the link.

The ink has not even dried yet on the divorce papers and this ho’ is already dating a new guy. His name is Eddie Judge and he was friends with Simon. Simon happened to run into them in Las Vegas. (what a coincidence!) And Simon  flipped out and fell to his knees  when he saw Tamra with another man. Security had to escort Simon out of the club.

Why is he tripping wasn’t he the one who filed for divorce? And I don’t know about that so called new guy. He doens’t convince me that he is into girls too much.

Here is the original article from Radaronline:

Don’t mess with Tamra Barney.

Stung by her husband Simon filing for divorce and accusing her of cheating during the marriage, she’s rebounded by dating one of his friends, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

The star of Bravo’s “Real Housewives Of Orange County” has hooked up with Eddie Judge and Simon, who calls it “the ultimate  betrayal,” found out about it the hard way – by seeing them together. And it was such a blow that Simon actually dropped to his knees, he told RadarOnline.com.

Simon was at the Hard Rock Hotelin Las Vegas on Saturday night and thought Tamra was back in Los Angeles. When Simon arrived at the club around midnight he got quite a shock.

“I walked in and I saw Tamra with a friend of mine, Eddie Judge,” Simon told RadarOnline.com. “I saw them holding hands and acting like a couple.

“As soon as Tamra saw me she let go of his hand and walked away.

“I went up to Eddie  and asked him if he’s (bleeping) my wife.  He didn’t say a word.

“I  couldn’t believe what I had just witnessed — the ultimate betrayal by a pal and my estranged wife.

“I started to feel weak and feel to my knees. The doorman helped me and by the time I had regained my composure they both left to the other side of the club.

“I left soon after.”

Tamra confirmed to RadarOnline.com: “I started dating Eddie Judge last week.

“We started hanging out together more after my separation and one thing led to another. We had been friends for over a year.

“We are romantically involved, he is a great guy. It was bound to happen that we both we would dating again after he filed for divorce, it was going to happen sooner or later.

“I don’t know what the future holds with Eddie and only time will tell.”