Recently an article popped up on the NY Post were a “media observer” (Jill’s minions?) spewed out  that it was all Bethenny’s influence that got Jill fired and that not only is Bethenny a master manipulator puppeteer, but also PT Barnum. “She had done a reality show, with Martha Stewart’s ‘The Apprentice,’ before any of the other housewives, so she was always 10 beats ahead,” this so called insider also states that Bethenny slept around to get ahead. “She dated WireImage’s photographer Kevin Mazur and made sure to get pictures on the red carpet before anyone knew who she was. She is the best publicist-marketer-hustler I’ve ever seen. She is PT Barnum. But the sad thing is the amount of people she’s thrown under the bus to get to where she is.”

The same insider also states that Bethenny is in the habit of chewing people up and then spitting them out when they are no use to her “One of the lessons that Bethenny could stand to learn is that a lot of times when she doesn’t have a use for someone, she lets the relationship fall by the wayside and then they burn her,” When Jill was asked what she thinks about Bethenny’s brand her response was “It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to launch a brand,” then she adds “I hope she sees [the bad press] as a mere bump in the road and chalks it up to a lesson learned. Everyone makes mistakes but it is how you handle it that defines you.” Really? Really bitch is that how YOU handle things?

Jill The article goes on to says that Bethenny is a big pain in the ass “Being around her is like having chest pains,” and adds that Bethenny likes to scream a lot and keep everyone on edge “She is a horrible, horrible screamer. Every person around her is feeling the anxiety. She goes from 0 to 60 in a second. You open the door, and you have no idea. It could be a storm, it could be a dozen roses.”

And to stay relevant  and in the spotlight former cast member Simon van Kempen put his 2cents in and said that Bethenny is “quite a troubled soul,” Simon states that him and Bethenny didn’t always see eye to eye, but he still fells she is being unfairly criticized “Bethenny and I have certainly had cross words back in the three seasons when she was on ‘Housewives,’ ” he says. “She’s a very forceful woman, very opinionated. But it’s a bit cowardly for people to come out of the woodwork now when she’s had some bad press and kick her when she’s down.”

And according to another gossip columnist Bethenny knows how to pull the strings  and manipulate Andy who apparently she’s had in her pocket for the whole time she’s been working for Bravo because supposedly she gets special privileges “she pulled Andy’s strings like a master puppeteer,” the same insider states that Bethenny’s days are numbered and that Miss Bravo and the rest of the Bravo family are getting sick of her and about to pull the plug. “The minute she stops being viable for Andy and making money, he’ll walk away from her just like he walked away from everyone else,” the insider also includes that people on Bethenny’s payroll are getting tired with her demands “More, more, more, mine, mine, mine.” And supposedly the producers feel Bethenny has worn out her Bravo welcome. “I hate to say it, but as one of the producers from the show told me: ‘We’re just hoping it’s going to be, “Bethenny’s Getting a Divorce?” says the insider. “Because how long can this go on for?”

The continuation part 2 of this wreckage.

So the Ass-Holey intervention continues bio dad who wants to sound good for the camera is trying to talk to Ass-Holey about getting her shit together and wonders why she is so angry at Jacqueline. Ass-Holey responds by ignoring him and texting someone on her cell phone. Meanwhile Jacqueline gives her award winning performance in the basement of that restaurant and cries her little ‘poor me’ song and dance and Ass-Holey has gone into full Asshole mode and is snapping back at bio-dad  who forces her to apologize to her mom. Jacqueline doesn’t want to hear her apologies and tells her to fuck off. Ass-Holey insist her mom is an immature brat and I can see that this is where Ass-Holey learned this behavior. Bio dad and hot step mom went back to Texas laughing and calling Jacqueline and Chris SUCKERS!!

Kathy Wikipedia and her daughter are getting ready for Kathy’s Goddess party. She even invited that Zen chick that used to shoot the shit with Dina back in the day and now she has come over to pass the Cheech and Chong blunt to get rid of evil spirits. Richie says that, “Richie Wakile doesn’t believe in black magic,” but he is letting Kathy bring the Zen hippie chick over because she has the best Lebanese hash-blunts in NJ. So Zen chick pulls out the Viking horns from her giant purse and lights up that big blunt and starts chanting some gibberish chant while everyone is passing that blunt around even the teenagers. The family that gets high together stays together and it only cost them what? What did Zen Chick charge them? Like five thousand dollars?

Next Ashley gets fired from her job as an ‘artist’ and decides to whine about how her life sucks. Lauren just rolls her eyes up at Ashley who better hurry up and pack up her shit for California since everyone in New Joysey is about to tar, feather and chase her out of town.

Teresa and Barney Devito meet with their lawyer to see if they can get out of the whole signature forging thing, but only Teresa gets away with it. The lesson that this folks learned from all this mess is ‘You have to lie!’. Teresa is teaching this to her kids now.

Next the Goddess party. Kathy is gracious enough to give the other skanks gifts and tells each one of them how special they are when it comes time to compliment Teresa on her ability to be totally oblivious that her marble mansion is crumbling down that bitch gets pissed because she thinks Kathy is making a dig at her when she told her she puts on a happy clown face even thought everything is fucking up and Barney Devito is facing jail time that even his butt-hole is  tightening up from fear.

Kathy announces that her punk ass is opening up a restaurant and the reason she is having this Goddess Party is to prostitute her new restaurant venture. After Kathy says this shit Teresa jumps in and says “we’re opening a restaurant too!” .  Well Teresa was not exactly lying, but she didn’t use the correct words, what she meant was ‘Barney Devito is working at the pizza parlor for minimum wage and tips’ see to Teresa that’s the same shit as opening up a restaurant because that’s what Barney Devito told her. Then, for some reason Teresa started showing her teeth and barking at Melissa and in a desperate attempt to change the mood Kathy calls in the reinforcements and a belly dancer shows up (so the bitches will stop fighting).

Melissa ends up  getting turned on because as y’all know she is a closet carpet gangster. Teresa is disgusted.

So to wrap it up we get to visit with Jacqueline and her Ass-Holey drama. AGAIN! And although Jacqueline did all that crying and whining and bitching about Ass-Holey being an ungrateful disrespectful asshole who ruined her life and has another fight on camera with Ass-Holey in front of her young sons about babysitting and dad Chris kicks her ass out and tells her to go live in a van down by the river she leaves alright, but thanks to a mysterious parent that helps her in the moving out process because I’m not buying the bullshit that’s coming up next since I KNOW she must of gotten some financial help to NOT end up homeless.

Jacqueline and Ashley fight some more and Ashley gets kicked out of her mother’s house on a cold winter night. Finally. This is the van down by the river she now lives at:

My guess is that bio-dad and dad Chris both pitched in to get Ass-Holey far away from everyone.

Here’s the kitchen where she will be serving the margaritas and blazing the knife hits:

Here is the pool where Ashely will have her drinking buddies over and one of them is sure to puke in the pool forcing Ashley to pay a citation to the HOA. That’s my crystal ball prediction.

I bet it was easier to pay for Ashley’s condo than it was to deal with her shit in New Jersey.

She is LA’s problem now! OH SHIT THAT’S HERE!! OH NOOO!!!

Earlier we found out that Ass-Holey was fired from her graphic artist gig and she gets in every one’s nerves yada, yada, yada. But that’s okay thought Ass-Holey has back ups maybe bio-dad can pull an arson skeam or two so that he can get his little mouthy Ass-Holey an apartment in Cali and Ashley can tell everyone she bought it.Then she gets more rewarded for bad behaviour and  starts an internship with Buzznet , she also plans to start a website selling chia pets, jack-off machines or some bull shit, oh yeah and write a book about how to make your parents buy you cars and apartments while you whine that everyone hates you.

If she keeps complaining about her parents and everyone hating her and how hard it is to be her, then she really needs to be let outside the private gates of that apartment building into the jungle of LA to see what is like. That girl is lucky I doubt that she would ever have to resort to being a porn ho’ so she better be grateful and kiss the ground her four pushover parents walk on everyday and leave them alone so they can  all have their adult orgy.

By the way thanks to my readers who send me the link on the Ashley gossip and pictures sorry for not posting earlier.

Taylor Armstrong’s grieving family-in-law are looking for answers on Russell’s suicide. According to Russell Armstrong’s family they are NOT so convinced that Russell took his own life and since it looks like they may not be able to sue Bravo to blame them for Russell’s suicide  they are now looking for someone else to blame and are hiring a private investigator to find out if Russell was murdered. I’m waiting for them to blame Chankla Face for murder accompliced by Bravo for ratings.

From TMZ:

Also more juicy details regarding Chankla Face’s and Fernanda’s little hook-up. According to The National Enquirer these two bitches were seeing smooching and touching on each other under the table while the pair partied at a Newport Beach, Calif., fashion show. They were also said to leave together in Fernanda’s truck and were making out before driving away.

From The National Enquirer:

Russell’s funeral took place on Wednesday at Forest Lawn Cemetery in the Hollywood Hills, no cameras were allowed . The cast of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills attended as well as some of the women from OC . It looks like Vicki Gunvalson showed up with her new man, and also in attendance was Peggy Tanous. Cedric Martinez showed up, but was turned away for not being on the guest list.

Teresa continues guilt tripping her brother Psycho Joe into staying to celebrate the Christmases with the Giudice’s, but Joe insists on packing up the little ones and taking off to Kathy and Rick’s house (I don’t know maybe Rick has the good coke over there?). The kids wanted to clearly stay and play with their cousins, but unfortunately the adults can’t play nice so the little ones have to suffer. And when you’re a kid something like playing with your cousins is very important shit and can fuck up your agenda if you miss a play date. 

Grandpa Gorga also lays the guilt trip on Mel and tells her that he came by her house three times recently and no one was home. Mel tells him that’s not her problem and to call her ahead of time next time he wants to be a pain in the ass like that. Grandpa Gorga says he doesn’t use the telephone because he prefers the ”I want to be an annoying old prick method” and dinosaurs it to the her house unannounced whenever he feels like it, without any consideration of the time of day it is because he no longer has any concept of time, and even if he did he doesn’t give a shit if the younger people have things to smoke or people to fuck with. Yeeah, y’a ll believe Melissa’s bullshit story that she wasn’t home? Because y’all know she WAS! She just didn’t open the door! She was probably tip-toeing making sure she did not make any noise because her butch friend Rosie was over trimming her hedges and they were both sneaking around to prevent old man Gorga from hearing them and that concert they were playing.

Little Gia goes cute monkey on her favorite uncle and hangs on him in the hopes he will stay, but sadly that doesn’t work either. Teresa immediately blames her cousin Kathy and goes on and on a long rampage about Kathy being the devil and worse that Hitler for stealing her brother and sister-in-law and using potions in her desserts to control their thoughts, which is why Joe and Mel refuse to stay. Later on Kathy says she’s cool with Mel and Joe staying with Tree so Teresa ends up looking like an asshole ’cause she is, and it wasn’t even Kathy’s decision for Mel and Joe to kick it with her. It was Psycho Joe’s decision he is the one that decided he wants to run out of  Tree’s house  like the bitch has head lice and is going to infect him and his family with it. Teresa also thinks that Kathy is trying to steal her cooking thunder with her potions of course.

Caroline is on her four-day cooking marathon, (did she really just sniffed her armpit?) hasn’t showered or shaved her face for a whole week,  is now sporting a ZZ Top beard and stinks like Bigfoot’s asshole, and if you have a problem with it TOO BAD BITCHES! So NOBODY better complain about having a red beard hair in their mashed potater. Better eat around it! The oldest member of the Manzo clan has a senior moment and stands up to give a speech about respect that gets drowned out by the loud noise of the whole drunken Manzo clan talking and nobody listening. Chris is on his phone, Caroline is picking her ass and Ashley is picking her nose nobody cares and there’s a food fight going on. I don’t see Dina anywhere. Jacqueline is trying to convince her little son CJ that Santa Claus is outside riding his Santa mobile. Chris runs out to make noise with some cheap bells but CJ is not buying it and tells his momma not to bullshit a bullshiter because this shit could of worked with Ashley, but not with him.

Over at the Wikipedia’s house Chankla Face was invited! She was the centerpiece of that party and is naked laying on a platter. She looks good like she gained some weight, leaving Russell must of done wonders not just does she look more healthy her skin looks the smoothes it has in ages. I am very impressed!

Caroline is debating if she should invite Mel and Psycho Joey to her New Years bash at the BrownStoner, but looks like Christopher beat her to it because everyone loves fun Mel and Psycho Joe plus who knows Psycho ass may just wear a tu-tu for this party and give them a free drag show. AWESOME!

The Godmother also decides that she wants to invite Kathy and Richard to the pachanga. Jacqueline gets all worried, but you can’t tell because that bitch is so full of botox she doesn’t even have facial expressions anymore she tells Caroline that Teresa is not going to like the Wikipedias at the party and she may go caveman on their ass. The God Mother tells Jacqueline FUCK TERESA THIS AIN’T HER PARTY!! And Jacqueline backs off and shuts the fuck up, but you still can’t tell if she is mad, sad, scared or what since her face remains frozen. Jacqueline’s husband tells her to stay out of the dramz and Jacqueline is fuming pissed, but again we can’t tell the difference. Meanwhile, in the other part of town Kathy is waiting by the phone chanting into her candles, wearing horns, with a cigar in her mouth doing incantations that the God Mother will invite her to the New Years Bash.

Caroline gives her children their fugly ass bracelets and they all start crying yelling THIS IS IT? THIS IS ALL WE GOT FOR CHRISTMAS?!! WE GOT JIPPED!!! Chris demands his BB gun and Caroline tells him he’s gonna shoot his eye out.

Moving right along we go to Jacqueline’s house where the children are opening box after box of presents. Looks like a fucking warehouse up in that bitch.  We also learn that Assho-ley did NOT buy her parents any presents because you know, she had to buy crap for her new car (that her step-daddy bought her and momma paid for it with numerous blow jobs and teetie-fucks) and so WHATEVER! Poor Assho-ley, didn’t even have the time to maybe slap together a freaking picture or a Christmas card with some paper clips and dried macaroni or cat litter or some shit she found around the house that her parents pay for? (And you know what sucks next episode we all learned she has artistic abilities and she could of at least drawn her mom a dad a picture or a Christmas card what an ungrateful ass!)

Over at Melissa’s they are keeping up with the warehouse theme as well as working on their own future bankruptcy, their kids are surrounded by large boxes of gift after gift. Melissa gets some expensive ass gifts including a Rolex watch and some five hundred dollar stripper stilettos that her daughter helped pick out. Great her kid is learning early. Psycho Joe also reveals he has completed Melissa’s prison dungeon recording studio, where he will keep her ‘locked in”.  After all the gifting, Psycho Joe asks Mel if she can put on her football helmet and gear so he can call her Steve; while he tries on her stilettos and cheer-leading skirt and she answers NOT TONIGHT IS JESUS’ BIRTHDAY!!  Melissa is going to eventually have to give  that horny ape at least a hand job she is going to run out of excuses soon and he did get her all those expensive gifts. Pobrecito he can NOT even get a finger up his corn-hole from Melissa and it’s Christmas.

At Teresa’s house Barney Devito is in a drunken comma and has a big hangover. He refuses to get out of bed to see the girls opening their presents. Teresa tells her daughters that no one is opening up presents until their father gets up and tells them to go wake up their groggy dad whom after some under his breath curse words and some farts rolls out of bed and plops on the couch, all out of it and shit, while holding the camera to film the wall. Don’t worry Barney the Bravo cameras are there they will get the footage. I don’t understand why the fuck she sends those poor girls to wake up their dad with his hangover like that? If she was smart she would put the bong under his nose and his ass would of jumped right out of bed.

Teresa’s children also get ass loads of Christmas gifts including drum-sets and toy cars. I see why Barney Devito is tired he must of gotten up early to swipe those gifts from Psycho Joe’s house while Psycho Joe’s children were distracted having breakfast. Teresa got some gloves and a fugly ass fur coat but NO DIAMONDS! Barney Devito wasn’t thin enough to crawl through the duct vents of the local jewelry store and borrow some diamonds for Tree this year so she got fucked out of diamonds. Sorry Tree!

Over at the Wikipedia’s Kathy bought her husband a wedding band because he keeps losing them down  stripper’s g-strings and then those bitches think it’s a tip, plus he gets hit on more by the strippers when they see he is wearing his wedding band because they want that extra tip. So Kathy decided to get her husband a new wedding band and will be securing it to his finger with some industrial level cement glue.

Because the Wikipedia children want to sneak off to party later, they got their mom a laptop and a cute Christmas speech and their parents got them a  ‘do what I say and not what I did’ contract which will later be broken when they both sneak out to party and cause havoc. Those kids are smart, I bet they get away with more shit than Ass-holey who doesn’t understand the politics of playing your cards right when it comes to taming your parents.

Albert and Caroline are missing their kids during Christmas because they are no longer little and cuddly. Albert is driving and heads towards the same underpass at the freeway, were he proposed to Caroline years ago. This is also the same underpass where  some of Albert’s associates who didn’t shut the fuck up, are now resting and The Godfather is there to make sure the wild dogs didn’t dig anybody up he doesn’t want to see. Then Caroline asks him why they are driving at the same spot he proposed to her at. And Albert thinks to him self  OH SHIT! So he all of the sudden nervously says  to play it off, OH YEAH!! I WAS GOING TO PROPOSE TO YOU AGAIN BECAUSE THIS TIME I AM DOING IT IN ONE KNEEE NOT LIKE THE CRAPPY LAST TIME WITH NO KNEE AND IT DIDN’T COUNT!

Gia is throwing up her guts,and Teresa yells “ARE YOU IN THE TOILET!” . Barney Devito is sitting there laughing his ass off because I bet this is Gia’s first hangover since she had her first beer with her pops and now she’s a man. After Gia throws up, her mom asks her to pose for a picture with a fresh pukey face.

The Manzo’s attend a concert where Billy Joel and Christy Brinkley’s daughter Alexa is performing and supposedly Albie is dating this girl and Caroline is desperate to arrange a marriage between the two (maybe she should employ Kathy to make her a love potion). The Godmother and Albie want to make sure that Christopher doesn’t embarrass them in front of Alexa with his Mad Cajun voice. The Godmother says that her baby Albie was raised at the same level of snootiness as princes Billy Joel. I didn’t know caterings business bastards make as much as some big time artist. Ok people Caroline just told us that we are all idiots and are in the wrong business. Except for those of you who launder catering. Alexa makes a joke about being older than Albie and Albie answers by calling her an old lady and making an ass of himself. Albie didn’t need any help from Christopher making an ass of himself he seems to be able to do that all on his own. Alexa’s mom Christie avoids that crowd and decides to bail before Caroline calls her over and it becomes awkward. Caroline keeps looking over her shoulder with hopeful puppy dog eyes hoping for Christie Brinkley to come by and say ‘hi’ and sits there dreaming of Alexa becoming her future daughter in-law and it’s never going to happen. Sad.

According to a post on Forbes Real Rich Bitch and Brand New Millionaires Bethenny Frankel (I can’t help it I love that bitch even if she is psycho!) was an unforgettable force of nature that could not be ignored even though she is no longer part of the cast Bethenny’s name was still mentioned over and over, during the reunion (her ears were ringing super loud that night). But unfortunately for the RHONYC since Beth left, this last season’s ratings fell lower than previous and Bravo executives are thinking about recasting the whole skank platoon and getting in some new blood.Click here to read a Forbes article about Bethenny.

I know a lot of you bitches don’t like Beth, but I do, (I’m still going to clown on her) there is something about her that’s admirable and even though she seems to flip out over the stupidest things I still can’t help, (hell, I’ve flipped out over stupid crap too before!) but admire her for being able to make the most out of her experience while swimming in the shark infested turd-sewers of reality TV and in the end she is the bitch that won the game in my eyes at least, who came into the show admitting she was a broke ass and one paycheck away from being homeless and ended up winning the 120 million dollar realtity TV lottery. While most of the other skanks have done the total opposite and bragged, bragged and bragged about how much their hubbies spoil them and all the stupid unnecessary shit they buy just to have the seams holding their faux-plush-lifestyle come apart and be exposed in the end for the brokes ass fronters they are.

And speaking of Bravo recasting these nut-bags according to another article Jill Zarin was spotted having dinner at Savanna in Southhampton where someone was eavesdropping and supposedly they heard Bobby tell Jill that it would NOT be a good idea for her to return to the trainwreck sideshow that is the Housewives. “Bobby made it clear that it was Jill’s decision but couldn’t understand what she would have to gain from returning to a fifth season,”. Maybe he is getting tired of getting dragged into her bitch slapping, gossip spats and lately he’s been having to confront Simon and maybe Bobby doesn’t want to have put  a hit out on Simon, who knows.

An insider told the Huffington post, “Her daughter is in college and it’s time to take her parents on the cruise of a lifetime they have always wanted to do. Plus the success of her Skweez Couture and other deals she has coming up are a full-time job.” Since Bobby sugar daddies Jill she doesn’t need the 265k a year she earns making an ass of herself on the Housewives and this last season the ratings were not as good as previous seasons.“The ‘New York’ show has been super successful but next season will never top the numbers they have now and after the failures of D.C. and Miami shows, everyone thinks the high point of the franchise is behind them not in front of them,”. And the insider added, “Everything has to come to an end. And the reunion show Part 2 ratings were very disappointing.” Good news for Jill is that her sausage encasing, shape- wear was picked up by major outlets so she won’t be needing the money, and I’m sure Bravo will have no problem finding another hateful spoiled skank to replace Jill, since they  seem to come a dime a dozen, that is, if they keep the Housewives franchise going.

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After Jilliousy chewed Ramonzon’s head off for bringing up the Countless’  “weekend parenting” we are back for more bitch slapping and all that good shit. LuAnn is fuming because she says that Ramonzon talks to every Tom, Dick, Harry and belligerent homeless wino in New York city about LuMan’s parenting skills (or lack there off). Ramona says she didn’t say shit about that bitch and LuMan hisses at Gonzo for not sticking up for the Countless when Ramonzon was running her fat mouth. Gonzo tries to say she stuck up for LuMan, but wasn’t caught on film.

Andy asks Ramona why she is trying to blame Avery for turning down LuMan’s music video and why she is trying to say Avery is embarrassed of Ramona being on a tranni music video when the bitch served alcohol at Avery’s sweet sixteen and tried to highjack her party by turning it into Ramona’s drunken Cincuentanera bash 2010. Yep, that shit exist that’s what one of my readers told me. Go ahed and google it.

LuMan brings up the embarrassing massage Ramona gave her “husband’s hairy chest” on TV and questions how can Avery NOT be embarrassed by that, but is embarrassed of her mother appearing in LuMan’s desperation mid-life crises video. Jill decides to demonstrate the dramatics by grabbing Kelly’s Behemoth’s gorilla size feet and proceeds to massage them while making X-rated moaning sounds. I don’t understand why Ramonzon doesn’t just admit she didn’t want to do the video with the Countless because she can’t stand that beast. Andy asks Ramonzon if Avery was embarrassed by the massage she gave Mario on TV and Ramonzon says she was a “little” embarrassed. Yeah just like we are supposed to believe it was all Avery that forbid Ramona from appearing in the video, we are also expected to believe that she was just a “little” embarrassed by the massage. LuMan brings up a good point and asks Ramonzon how it is that she refused to do the music video because it was slutty, yet she invites sixteen year old Avery to join the burlesque underwear shopping and invites her to the dirty bird Sonja show?  After stuttering and pulling out a lame ass answer out of her ass, Ramona says it’s because it was a “private party”. So? That’s like saying because she invited her daughter to an orgy since it was a “private orgy” it’s ok. Right? EEEWWWWUUUOOKAYY THEN?!!

Miss Andy asks LuMan why she went into super confrontational asshole mode this season and why is she up Jill’s ass and defending Jill. Alex yells it’s because LuMan has  enough “dirt” on LuMan to fill a “landfill”. Jill calls Alex a bitch, but spells it out because small children may be watching?  What? OK!? What about all the shit these bitches were saying earlier?

Then, we see a diarrhea trail of clips with Jilliousy saying she is a “changed woman” and staying out of drama followed by scenes with Jill running her fat mouth about everybody’s business, and talking about EVERYBODY! From who is how old and where Cindy’s babies’ daddy is, to calling Alex a ‘fucking bitch’ for socializing above her level and pretty much just trying to insert herself into the drama like a fucking tapeworm crawling up a fat persons ass. Jill then gives a lame ass explanation about how she is blatantly “honest” and doesn’t give a crap what anybody thinks because she is not trying to do it to be mean she is doing it because she is repeating whatever Ramona has been saying all these years I AM WHAT I AM LIKE IT OR NOT I’M POPEYE THE SAILOR MAN TOOT TOOT!! Ramona can’t believe this bitch has now crossed over to using Ramoner’s excuses for acting like a complete asshole to people’s faces for stupid reasons. Ramona was sitting there mumbling, bitch find your own excuses! I think the only thing that changed with Jilliousy this season is that she has learned to be a bigger irritating asshole who found other ways to use more useless excuses to be a complete bitch, so yeah she’s changed, for the worst! Jill tries to say that the grudge she has with Ramona is deeper and longer than the Bethenny grudge and she doesn’t think she can forgive Ramona. WTFUCK? Bitch you don’t make sense! Ramonzon is right when someone is doing better and has more money than Jill she gets “Jilliousy” and goes into full-fledged hurricane level bitch mode.

Gonzo confronts Jilliousy about the shit she talked about Gonzo when she did her disturbing dirty bird burlesque performance. And Jill tries to deny it and says that Gonzo was attacking all of them by calling them “bitches”. Gonzo then admits it by calling them “bitches” again. HA HA HA!!!  Jill says that she was just kidding and being cute when she made fun of Gonzo’s horrific performance! That’s just like saying she went up to Sonja’s plate of toaster oven weiner-dinner and farted on it, but since she was being funny it’s all good and forgiven.

Then Jill starts bitching at Alex for wearing white to the wedding and what a bitch she is for socializing at a party that’s below her social climbing lying ass, plus all the shit she talks about the Hamptons. Alex says she only used to go to the Hampton’s to get acting jobs. Kelly busts up laughing and the brunettes asks Alex what movies she was on? After stuttering and making some shit up, duh I was the duuuh, tree in that one movie eerrr… She gets laughed at some more. Andy asks Jill if she ever admits when she is wrong and surprisingly Jill apologizes to Alex for calling her a bitch, just to clean the slate so she can insult her minutes later with brand new crispy insults.

Alex screams at the brunettes and points at all of them yelling “IF I WAS TRYING TO SOCIALICE ABOVE MY LEVEL I WOULD STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ALL OF YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE ALL A LIABILITY!” Bigfoot Kelly again, bust up laughing this time she asks Alex “ARE YOU SMOKING CRACK?” Yeah, she is bitch and you both share the same dealer remember?

Next, more Ramonzon and her addiction to Pinot Del Borracho we get to see clips of “junkie” Ramona demanding Pinot and almost going into “heroin addict” level seizures if no Pinot available. FUCKING WINO!

Ramonzon then accuses Jill of being an alcoholic that had to attend AA meetings and Jill loses her shit denying it and saying she went to AA to support a friend. Who Jill Zarin? Was that the friends name?

Gonzo and Alex stick up for Ramonzon and say she is not an alcoholic since the bitch only drinks one case of vino not three like Jill accuses her of; making Ramona only a drunkaholic which is better! SEE!

Jilliousy jumps on Ramonzon for the comment she made about Jilliousy’s step daughter being “deformed” and Ramonzon tries to defend it saying that means “blemish”. Then, Andy pressures her crazy ass to apologize to Jill’s daughter and surprisingly she does and she spews out a nice apology, but right after that pause to apologize to the innocent the war continues.

Ramona keeps getting stomped on for being a “functioning alcoholic” like Kelly calls her and Ramona finally admits to being a fucking drunk and says she is very happy with her addiction because she has a lot of energy and is a successful business owner eighteen years married and blah, blah, blah. I think all these bitches  need to be thrown together in a paper bag and go to Asshole-holic Anonymous.

Alex bitches at the Countless for calling her ass “Herman Munster shoes” and for correcting  everyone about having “Class” like a matronly prison guard and the other bitches are all six year old inmates. LuAss doesn’t give a shit and just sits there laughing at Alex like she is a dumb ass.

Kelly takes credit for the  ”Herman Munster shoes” and berates Alex for making poor fashion choices.

REALLY?! REALLY BITCH?? SO YOU’RE THE FASHION POLICE NOW??  I guess she made herself in charge of telling the other bitch how to dress when the only place her and Alex (also!) should be modeling those getups Kelly wears with no pants and the S&M crack-whore dress Alex had on at the party is at the runway (isles) of People Of Walmart.

Look at these bitches they both forgot to wear pants that day!

Here’s Kelly wearing her new running out in traffic outfit when she goes out to score some alley meth.

We also found out that Alex gave her nasty ass dress to LuAss and she donated it to some shelter cause or another and now a homeless bum is wearing it while searching for spare cans in the trash.

LuMan admits  and slips out that when her ass marries Peppi LaPoopie she will be giving up the Countess title. Peppi LaPoopie is probably  swimming  back all the way to France in fear by now. LuMan also says she is butt hurt the blonde bitches refused to be on her music video, but she should be happy because at least Kelly Behemoth sharted throughout the video leaving her Bigfoot asshole aroma to decorate it.

Next they all talk shit about Simon and what an asshole he is for mean tweeting. The bitches asks Alex if she is aware of Simon’s tweets and she says she sees like only 90% of his tweets, but not the other 10% where he tweets Miss Andy at midnight and tells him what a purty mouth he ass and how he would like to strech it! EEEWWW!!! OLD DRAG QUEENS!

And now let’s talk about the Morocco trip and why Ramonzon, LuMan and the rest of these Housewives are permanently 86th from Morocco and are not allowed to travel there anymore. EVER! That camel that tried to kill LuMan already told the other camels to watch out for these hags and if they come back they’re getting camel stomped and not just LuMan this time. That camel knew exactly what it was doing! LuMan gets all defensive about playing matronly prison guard and making everyone miserable with her dictator actions at the Morocco vacation. See that’s why the camel wanted to throw her off it’s back and pee on her and I wish it would of.

Ramonzon gets asked why she got these bitches 86th from Morocco with her rude comments and she proceeds to double insult that country by saying some crazy statistics about how it is a crappy third world dusty bowl. LuMan laughs her ass off about that insult since she is not over there right now where they would chop her penis off for laughing at shit like that.

Miss Andy asks Gonzo if she is racist for not trusting people with her luggage in another country and she gives him some lame answer, Miss Andy brings up how Gonzo doesn’t seem well-traveled because she acts ignorant like she hasn’t gotten out of the woods much. Sonja tries to defend that by saying that even when she visited the “Royal Palace” she was paranoid they were going to steal her luggage. This bitch doesn’t quit does she?!

Dumb ass Alex gets asked why she is such a nerd and got her ass beat in Morocco for no reason other than trying to fight Ramonzon’s battles to desperately kiss her ass while Ramona ran around with her real best friend Gonzo laughing her ass off  and getting blitz. Alex sits there like a doofus acting like she jumped in that mosh pit of snakes for her own pleasure. Sure bitch, sure whatever you say. Alex then calls LuMan a “thug in a cocktail dress” and offers her a T-shirt. LuAss laughs at her for selling T-shirts at the swap-meet like a loser, but Alex doesn’t care because she is going to make 120 million from those T-shirts. Jilliousy goes into a yelling tirade at Alex and yells at her repeatedly “I don’t care about you!”.

They also show the clip where Kelly was fucking  with Alex’s head when she told her to close her eyes. HA HA HA HA!!! I can’t believe she let that bitch stick her dick in her ear and mindfuck her sideways like that!  HA HA HA HA!!!! See Alex you can’t go up against beast like these on your own, you needed Bethenny there if Beth was theres that shit would of never happened because she made Kelly feel intimidated and stupid and it would of being Beth and Alex fucking with Kelly. And because Kelly only knows like two large words and she has to repeat them constantly to establish her credibility that she is an intelligent human and not a shaved ape like we all thought, she starts calling Alex “inauthentic” again, and again plus a “bad actress” because I guess in her pea brain she thinks that they are all on a scripted TV show. Then they all lose their shit into a full-blowned bitching tirade again like a bunch of “chicken heads” like Cindy calls them.

Miss Andy asks Ramona about Mario’s infidelities and reads an email that questions the fortune teller and Mario’s suspicious OH SHIT! reactions when Ramoner told him the whole fortune-teller prediction . Ramona sits there denying that shit and says she doesn’t believe what the fortune-teller told her, she says that Mario is a good guy and he is faithful to her even the time he porked that hoochie over the  pool table. Alex jumps in and says Simon also joined taking turns in the pool table gang-bang  and he totally wasn’t at the gay bar (later that night) because he is a “straight man”. HA HA HA HA!!!

Then Andy reads another viewer email about Alex’s droopy ass floppy “brawles” boobs and ask if she ever wears a “brawer”.  Alex points out that she is wearing one now.

Andy asks Cindy if her ass even knows her children’s name and she screams I HAVE A NANNY THAT SLEEPS WITH ME! Ok I didn’t see that one coming!

Andy then asks LuAnn if the Count knows her new boyfriend  Jacques Azoulay is Jewish? Does he know Jill is Jewish? Because LuAnn gets in bed with that bitch too. Cindy was confused about the comment, bitch didn’t watch last season.

We also find out that LuMan and her man go to the same barber shop to get their head done.

Andy saves the best question of the night for last  “How do you feel that Bethenny is worth 10 times more than all of you combined?”  LuMan tries to say some stupid bullshit about how Bethenny is still catching up to their money. Bitch she left your old ass in the dust, by like 40 million dollars looong ago! Jilliousy spews out all pissed off a obvious jealous comment that she doesn’t count Bethenny’s money. Finally none of them can take the jealousy anymore and all the bitches explode into a massive splatter of excrement. Poor Miss Andy will never be the same!

Ya habibi Bitches!

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On the latest edition of In Touch Weekly magazine, (again!) Teresa Giudice reveals she is scared to death of being poor and insist that her husband Barney Devito kept her in the dark about the true source of their finances while her crazy ass ran around dropping cash to launder the moolah Barney Devito got by means of fraud .

 Teresa is also saying that people who were once her friends now treat her like a loser because she is broke and the girl who once bragged about how her husband took care of her (right into the poor house) and let her run amok blowing money left and right (she was skipping as she threw the Benjamins behind her) is now saying she doesn’t want her daughters to depend on a man for their money and now her and husband Barney Devito are watching their money and shopping at the 99 cent store, eating lunch meat and clipping coupons like they should of done long ago because her and Barney Devito  are “terrified of being poor,”. 

The new tune the Giudice’s are singing these days is about being thrifty and saving money, (at least that’s what they’re saying)  “It isn’t how much money you make, it’s how much you save.” Barney Devito also says that he is trying to watch his money by living simple and shopping cheap he says, “I live a simple life,”  and “I shop at outlets and buy things cheap.”

Here is more of what she told In Touch, “Most couples would have gotten a divorce,”  and her husband ads  “In most cases, people would have fallen apart,” …“But we are strong.”  Teresa says that her days of keeping up with the Joneses appearances are over,“I don’t try to keep up with the Joneses anymore,” she also says she is now doing her own hair ,“Sometimes, I do my own hair and makeup. I spend within my means,”. Really ? That bitch knows how to do her own hair and makeup? I thought most of these bitches don’t even know how to wipe their own ass without an assistant?

 Teresa is also trying to bring in the money but her book kinda flopped so she is having a hard time with that. Meanwhile Barney Devito is denying that he is mooching off Teresa’s Bravo paychecks and says that he has money even though it was reported he is unemployed and has no pizza parlor: “I am not living off Teresa,” and adds “I got money. What we are doing now is working together.”

Maybe Teresa should watch that show Extreme Couponing and pick up some habits on how to save money and hoard an entire garage of Ragu sauce, so her crazy ass can buy more of those tacky-hooker, flashy dresses she loves so much.

This was some fucked up shit that happened to this little baby and I hope that sick bitch Casey rots in hell with the devil.  You all don’t even know how disgusted I am with this verdict that every time I think about it I want to throw up!

This one time  the Housewives as well as myself and all my readers agree with their feelings of disgust over this bullshit verdict.

Check out the tweets the housewives blasted out after the Casey Anthony verdict:

Bethenny Frankel – “I’m so disgusted by the verdict that I’m almost consumed by it.”

Ramona Singer– “A very sad day that justice was not served for Caylee. Please let that poor little baby rest in peace.”

Caroline Manzo – “The defense team should show some kind of respect for this poor baby. Now is not the time for arrogance….. Jackass”

Teresa Giudice– “So insane to be in FL w Gia when Casey Anthony verdict comes out… As a mom of 4 beautiful girls, I just can’t… #disgusting #RIPCaylee”

Melissa Gorga – “Shame on you Casey… Bye….”

Kyle Richards - “So exactly WHO IS responsible for dumping Caylee’s lifeless body away like trash? nobody?”

Jill Zarin– “I can NOT believe Casey Anthony was found NOT GUILTY! What..the glove didn’t fit? The is terrible. I am SHOCKED.”

R.I.P. Caylee.