The episode opens with Kyle and Kim. Kyle is meeting Kim’s mystery man (that she found on craigslist hookups) for the first time and is sobbing because she knows he is a weirdo. I mean just LOOK AT HIM! So Kyle cries and blah, blah, blah. She knows Kim fucked up.
OK moving right along. Chankla Face had some event thing for her faux-charity. Chankla doesn’t like Miss Princess Lisa VanderDump because Miss VanderDump is made of real Gold turds and her ass can tell a faker from eight yards away. Chankla doesn’t like it when someone tells her like it is so, she makes an effort to avoid Lisa as much as possible and because she also wanted to throw a passive aggressive dig she totally didn’t invite Lisa to the event and of course to piss her off.
Chankla’s evil plan to piss the Lisa off worked because she purposely didn’t tell some of the other bitches that she wasn’t inviting Lisa (see so this way they would spill it to Lisa in conversation later on) and luckily, for Chankla Face this happened sooner than she thought because while Kyle was wondering the hallways of an abandoned crackhouse looking for Chankla’s event she accidentally tells Lisa on a phone coversation, that Chankla Face didn’t invite her. When Kyle told Chankla Face of her accidental spill Chankla was loving that shit.
The next day, Lisa invites all the skanks including Chankla Face to her multimillion dollar princess castle so, that Chankla can feel stupid for not inviting Lisa to her faux charity thingy. But before Chankla Face shows up, at the VanderDumpster multimillion dollar dump, Lisa reveals an email she received from the late Russell who was planning on making a couple of bucks out of the deal and sue the VanderDumpsters for talking to the gossip mags about Chankla Face’s deteriorating, pill-popping, crack-head frame.
Chankla Face and her lips show up to Lisa’s mansion. And because Chankla is a raging attention-whore with amazing water faucet talents, she decides she wants to start confronting Lisa and cry and scream with her gigantor lips like she wants to swallow Lisa alive, then maybe Lisa would shut up and quit telling that bitch to eat; but who wouldn’t tell that scary bitch to eat something? She looks like she hasn’t eaten since 1975!
So, Chankla Face starts crying more and getting louder about how Lisa doesn’t like her because Chankla is a broke ass and Lisa was sitting there almost smirking because she KNOWS that Chankla Face is a grifter and not real Beverly Hillbilly Royalty. (I mean, if the bitch would of at least won the lottery, maybe Lisa would of liked her better, but nah!)
Chankla Face is on a “mission” to ruin Lisa’s afternoon tea that she even tries to get the other bitches to join her in telling Princess Lisa how it is. When Chankla Face tries to get the other bitches to thrash on Lisa, the other ho’s are sitting there mumbling and twiddling their thumbs, but specially dipshit Kyle when Chankla Face goes off on Lisa having a HUGE EGO (like Chankla doesn’t right?) and she drags Kyle into it.
Chankla Face kept crying and screaming at the top of her lungs, about how she kissed Lisa’s ass to be part of the rich bitch club, but since Chankla Face’s middle name is Traylor Parker she will never be good enough for Lisa and Lisa feels deep down inside that Chankla needs to go back to her double wide in Oklahoma where she is comfortable. Even though Lisa thinks Chankla is a loser and all of that shit she still apologized to her for being an asshole, but all of that is not enough for Chankla who is on a meltdown. AGAIN!
Then, Lisa reminds Chankla Face that she invited her and little Kennedy to go live with her, but Chankla says that Lisa did it to be a bitch. YEP, that’s exactly what that bitch was planning to do she was going to have Chankla take Maria the maids spot and her and Maria were going to laugh at Chankla while she tried to figure out how to clean the toilets. Chankla was on to her.
Chankla Face storms out. When she storms out she runs into someone. At first I thought it was the cameramen or some shit because you hear her say “I stormed out!” but upon closer inspection I saw it was none other than Dr. Paul Frankenstein and the water faucet was turn to off, and her mood turned to on. YEP! I suspect that! Because watch how comfortable and happy she is to see him!
Meanwhile, the other hens are in the hen-house cackling back and forth about how Chankla Face is an asshole that cries one minute about how she is leaving Russell for good and the next minute she is jumping on an airplane with him. Kyle is even fed up with Chankla Face and brings up how that bitch probably makes up all the wild stories about Russell. Notice how Lisa asks Kyle BITCH ISN’T SHE YOUR FRIEND? And Kyle is all licking Lisa’s ass and taking sides with Lisa and the majority because she doesn’t want to piss her rich friend off.
Chankla Face comes back in to fight some more and this is where shit got good. After Chankla sat there, whining about how she wants everyone to be honest, and bring everything out to the table Camille asks her if she really wants ALL OF her true business out there and warns her to be careful with saying shit like that. All of the sudden Camille can’t take it anymore and straight up yells at Chankla “WE BEEN PROTECTING YOU! BECAUSE WE DON’T SAY THAT HE HITS YOU! BECAUSE WE DON’T SAY HE BROKE YOUR JAW! OR THAT HE BEAT YOU UP! AND THAT HE, HE HITS YOU! WE DON’T SAY THAT BUT NOW WE SAID IT!” SNAAAP!!! Chankla wanted honesty and Camille brought up the 900 pound gorilla in the room. And all of the sudden I love Camille Grammer!
