Chankla Face appears to have worn out her Bravo welcome which by coincidence happened after her husband Russell committed suicide and Chankla was discovered to be a fronter and a grifter who exploited her deceased husband’s name when she came out with a book describing the abuse she supposedly suffered while married to Russell.

Even before Russell Armstrong committed suicide, Chankla Face’s story revolved around her so-called abusive marriage to Russell, who took his life after Chankla and Bravo blasted his business and his supposed abuse against Chankla Face.

After Russell took his life Bravo still signed Chankla for another season of the crazy. Supposedly they felt bad for all she went through and didn’t want to kick her out just yet. RIIIIGGHT!! 

From Radaronline:

“Producers reluctantly decided to sign Taylor for the next season and I think a lot of their decision was based purely on the fact that they felt bad just dumping her after all she went through last year,”

“But, they are definitely looking to phase her out of the show gradually. The feeling is that Taylor won’t really be bringing much to the table and that she’s not needed anymore.”

“Producers don’t feel she’s particularly a sympathetic character and that she lost a lot of people’s respect by bringing out a book about the physical abuse she suffered at the hands of her late husband Russell Armstrong following his death and that she basically cashed in on his suicide”

We all know the real reason was to get higher ratings with the Taylor Armstrong Circus. But, the minute this bitch got into everyone’s nerves with her constant winning, crying, psycho bitch screaming fits and her endless obsessive desire to throw Russell under the domestic violence bus even after his death; aaand don’t forget the fact that she was discovered to be a grifter, and a broke ass who can’t afford the lifestyle she is supposed to be selling us  she ended up showing her true colors and everyone ended up hating that bitch, that even some people boycotted Bravo because of her stupidity. So, it seems that now Bravo is starting to notice that it wasn’t such a good idea to keep Chankla around so they are going to be ‘phasing’ her out until they boot her out. FINALLY!

Thanks Elizabeth for the link!

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hillbillies are all jumping on the Bravo circus clown bus. With the exception of Camille Grammer who was cut because she didn’t want Bravo to follow her new life with boyfriend Dimitri Charalambopoulos, specially all that drama with Camille threatening Dimitri’s ex and baby mama. But, Camille rather have Bravo follow her around during happy, normal non-confrontational times, when she is speaking calm and collected. Bravo doesn’t want that shit they want the crazy, the scandalous and loud so they didn’t offer Camille a spot back.

Professional drifter and liar Taylor Chankla Face Armstrong, was offered a spot back next season. A lot of people are up in arms because of this bitches lying, trifling ass and relentless famewhoring. The excuse Chankla Face is giving everyone for her reason of staying on this show and make an ass of herself is because she has a daughter to support.

The same with Kim Richards. Bitch went all aggro on Brandi Glanville last season and slurred her words around stumbling in a haze of booze, meth and a cocktail of prescription meds (from what it looked like.) The bitch was a mess. And of course she loves the camera so Bravo is allowing more of her crazy next season and just like Chankla Face she is supposedly doing it to help support her children.

According to Perez Hilton these bitches are getting paid well per season for making fools of themselves. Kim is reported to have made $137,000 last season, and this season is getting a 10k increase. And Chankla Face makes $127,000 a season.

Inside gossipy sources have said that Kim is sobering up and dealing with all that shit:

“Kim truly didn’t want to do another season because she is still extremely vulnerable and dealing with her sobriety.”

So while Bravo fired Sheree Whitfield who also appear to have been needing this show to support her children with the only talent the woman has, (to be a total psycho bitch on camera) they keep these two batshit messes but get rid of a good batshit mess that even had the balls to go up against scary ass felon Marlo Hampton!

Kyle is also hinting that since Bravo cut Camille loose, and NeNe wants to move to California maybe she should be a transfer from Atlanta and be one of the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hillbillies:

“I’d have to say Nene! I think Nene should maybe move to Beverly Hills and be a real housewife of Beverly Hills!”

 

Good idea Kyle, I think that sounds fantastic!

Ex-Real Housewife Of Beverly Hillbillies Camille Grammer will no longer be featured on this trainwreckage but, she still sore over her ex-husband’s sneaky ways of putting her on a low brow show where everyone and their momma will laugh and clown at her while she makes an ass of herself.

She told Good Morning America this week:

“The first season was horrible because they were filming me during the worst year of my whole life.  My whole life was falling apart,”

“My husband left me.  He was having an affair with another woman in New York City while I was filming a reality show.  It doesn’t get worse than that.”

“Yes, thank you, Kelsey, for the gift of humiliation for the first season,”

She is also pissed that her husband went behind her back and decided their 13 year marriage was over while Camille was not informed she says for him the marriage was over but, she didn’t know it was:

“Maybe for him but I didn’t know about that.”

Fortunately for Camille she now has a new man in her life, but there is still drama since he is going through some bullshit with his baby mama who supposedly threaten Camille on the phone and this bitch threaten her back. And this week  Radaronline reported that Camille’s new boytoy Dimitri Charalambopoulos put a restraining order on his psycho ex  Lisa Chynoweth:

“the court examined the pleadings and affidavit of Dimitri Charalambopoulos, and finds that Dimitri Charalambopoulos is entitled to a temporary restraining order restraining Lisa Chynoweth from releasing any deposition transcripts or videos regarding this case to anyone, directly or indirectly, for any reason…”

Of course Camille refused to have Bravo film her life with new boyfriend and all the drama that comes with it; so Bravo refused to sign her up for another season of crazy.

Camille Grammer got a new boytoy to play with Dimitri George Charalambopoulos, and this last season she acted like a normal person even likable. But, recent reports spilled out that this ho’ is back to her old Camille Season 1 ways, when she threatened her new boyfriend Dimitri’s ex Lisa Chynoweth during a phone conversation and told her she would seek a gang of lawyers on her ass.

During some court disposition Dimitri was forced to listen to the phone conversation between the women, and acted as if it was no biggie that Camille got all crazy threatening this dude’s baby momma if she dares going to the press.

Check this shit out:

 “If you go to the press, I have lawyers that are beyond what you can imagine and they will pull stuff on you and you will be so mortified about your life and your family and what you have done. You don’t want to do that to Marcus. I will desecrate you, believe me, and that I can do, so be careful what you say and what you do because my defamation attorneys are huge..they will hunt down and research every nook and cranny of your life.”

Dimitri was asked if he recognizes this bitche’s voice on the recording and he admits it’s her, then he asks:

 ”Is there a reason I have to listen to all of this?” “I’m not going to answer that because I didn’t hear the rest of the conversation and I don’t want to hear the whole conversation…I didn’t hear a threat and I don’t know what that conversation was about and it was a little snippet and that has absolutely nothing to do with this…I didn’t hear a threat, it sounded more like a rebuttal.”

After listening to that call he got all hissy-pissy and stomped out of the room. Camille must be paying him good.

Camille is also telling everyone that she is going to more than likely marry Dimitri:

“Camille is the happiest she has been in years and she says Dimitri is one of the reasons why,” a source close to the couple told RadarOnline.com. “Dimitri loves and respects Camille very much and encourages her in all of her business ventures. Camille never thought she would find love again after her marriage ended to Kelsey because she truly believed that she was going to be married to him for the rest of her life. Camille has been telling her friends that she could easily see herself married to Dimitri. Does this mean that he is close to proposing? Not yet. However, it’s definitely going in that direction.”

A new report surfaced that Camille was the one being bullied at first,and that Lisa recorded the conversation which lasted a few hours without Camille’s knowledge of it being recorded and that the only part they let Dimitri listen to was the part where Camille was being a evil bitch. From Radaronline’s gossipy sources:

“Lisa is the one that called Camille about a month and a half ago and she had a laundry list of issues she needed to address. Camille was very gracious in the beginning of the conversation and just let Lisa talk. Camille had a lot going on in her life because she was still in a custody dispute with Kelsey,

“Towards the end of the conversation, Lisa told Camille that the press had been calling her and brought up Camille’s children. Lisa knew about the custody battle and threatened to insert herself into that situation. Camille was provoked and reacted as any mother that loves her children would, period. Camille didn’t threaten Dimitri’s son, Marcus, she was simply saying that no child should have to deal with the fallout of their parents feuding.”

“Dimitri wasn’t with Camille when the phone call was made and they both find it extremely interesting that only a snippet of the conversation was recorded,” the insider says. “Lisa didn’t record the portions of the phone call when Camille praised what a great dad Dmitri was and what an amazing little boy they were raising. Lisa purposefully recorded when she had provoked Camille and attempted to use it against her. How did the deposition end up on YouTube? The lawyers involved are the only ones that have access to that information.”

 ”Dimitri and Camille have never been closer and more in love. Camille has handled herself with true class and Dimitri is so grateful to have her in his life. Neither one of them thought they were ever going to find true love again and be able to trust someone with their heart. They are a fantastic couple and are rock solid,”

Looks like Bravo missed out on some Camille drama!

Thanks to all my readers who send me the links to this mess.

Even though Camille Grammer seemed butt-hurt when producers weren’t asking her back at first for a third season of the Real Housewives Of The Three Ring Circus and where rumored to be firing her. She finally appears to have seen the light (maybe) and decided she has better things to do (like swimming naked in a pool full of Benjamins with new sexy fuck toy Dimitri Charalambopoulos) than, expose her rich bitch life on Real Housewives; so that me and everybody’s momma can clown on her punk-ass. She ended up doing the same thing I would do if I where in her shoes, and is taking her millions of dollars (that she won in the divorce lottery against ex-husband Kelsey Grammer) and getting the hell out of that sorry ass show.

From Eonline:

“I was not fired,” Grammer said. “I didn’t want to expose my personal life so much anymore. I had done that and was over that. I care very much for my family and children and that show tends to take me away from them. I really want to focus on them right now.”

“I’ve really enjoyed my time working with the girls and I will miss the camaraderie,” she admitted. “I enjoyed the producers and Bravo. I’m upset about that part.”

Camille Grammer at Blizz Frozen Yogurt in Las Vegas. I have no clue where Blizz Frozen Yogurt is, and I go to Vegas a lot. So, I guess I am going to have to go there and check it out next time I make a Vegas run.

If she is leaving on her own account then good for her bony ass that she is leaving that show she must of felt like an ass, after she realized her ex-husband was laughing at her for looking like a fool on a show he hooked her up with, just so that she can look crazy. But, the rumor is still out there that she was fired and wants to save her mug so she says she is leaving on her own account. In the end whether she was fired or she fired the show she won, Camille got like 50 million bucks of her ex-husband’s money and never has to work again in her life or be on this shit show. Too bad she can’t fix her candle wax melty face. But, still congrats bitch go live a happy life.

Here’s some pics of Camille’s happy rich-bitch life while this weekend in Vegas with her future ex-ho stars and her new paid fuck-boy Dimitri.

She took the kids too!

After Chankla Face and Russell get thrown out of the white sheeet mariachi party, the other bitches gather in the living room to talk shit about how ghetto Chankla and Russell are for suing innocent drunk, bystander rich bitches, who are only repeating every word Chankla babbled out during one of her motormouth moments.

Everyone agrees that Chankla Face and Russell have cheesed everyone off. Russell, for suing every bitch in the room and Chankla Face for involving everyone in her TrailerPark style fights with Russell. You know,the ones where the woman gets her ass beat and then tells everyone about it and when the people call the police she yells at them and cries so her man doesn’t get arrested?

But at this point it seems that Chankla Face Trailer Parky is just having passionate fantasies about getting bitch slapped around; because NO ONE can verify the beatings since Chankla doesn’t seem to have any bruises (except for maybe her big fat lips, but that maybe because of the weekly  piss injections she gets in her tire lips.) Even Chankla’s best friend is sitting there in the circle of gossipy bitches, and he too is doubtful of the Chankla delusional stories. Adrienne and Paul think that bitch can go piss on a ditch for all they care.

Back at the dance floor of this pachanga, Kim is nice and lit up (like usual) and starts throwing these Chicken on crack dance moves. HA HA HA HA!!! DOES THIS BITCH KNOW SHE LOOKS LIKE A CHICKEN WHEN SHE’S ALL HIGH DANCING ??? IS THAT WHY HER VERSION OF DANCING LOOKS LIKE SHE IS HAVING A SEIZURE WHILE SHE TRIES TO FLY AWAY???!!! HA HA HA HA!!!

After Kim’s boyfriend Quasimodo is done taking a scary dump and breaking Kyle’s upstairs bathroom and leaves it so tore up the bitch is going to have to remodel that shit again, he goes off to find Kim on the dance floor (with his finger in his mouth)  and of course Kim is all high and drunk out of her Chicken Brain  and leg humping some random fool. So, Quasimodo gets all jelaous grabs that ho and makes her dance with his fugly ass. The two scary looking fucktards start making out and “clear the dance floor” but not because they are a sexy couple that everyone wants to see humping, but because they are a scary couple no one wants to see kiss or touch. Because it’s gross and people don’t want to be near some disgusting abomination like that!

Next, Kim is all happy that the bitch getting the boot for being a drunk asshole is not her, but instead it’s Chankla Face.

In the limo Chankla is pretty livid for getting the boot from the party. Her and Russell are wondering what the fuck just happened. Then, Russell starts denying the so called accusations that Camille heard from Chankla’s fish lips and repeated about his hobby of  pimp slapping Chankla like a cheap slut. Russell says those where untrue exaggerations, but Chankla just sits there with an uppity, defensive, awkward attitude flapping her rubber-band lips going, “uhum!” Worried that Russell is going to catch her in her lies. Then, she says with her voice over that these were exaggerations, but not lies. Make of that what you will.  Russell insist that instead of going back to Sin City they go back to the house they’re squatting at the time.

Back at the party the sowing circle of gossipy bitches are still squawking about the Chankla situation. Adrienne says that there is her side his side and in the middle there’s the truth. Ain’t that the truth in this situation.

Kyle is pissed that she can’t even enjoy her party by stuffing her face with Fat Burger while doing the splits. I’m wondering whose fucking genius idea was to serve greasy Fat Burgers when people are wearing white designer gowns and such.

After all this shit happened the bitches get ready and pack their 35 bags a piece to go to Hawaii. Lisa apparently has never been since the bitch thinks she can wear some old casino-whore, poodle gown she had stored in a box since 1971 and so she puts it on. You just can’t wear that type of shit in Hawaii they throw you out and make you swim back to the mainland. I know I checked.

Ken says he ran into Cedric who got a job as House Blow Job Bitch for some interior decorator.

Lisa is all pissed off that her new bestie Chankla Face isn’t going to Hawaii to ruin their vacation, but Brandi will be handling the ruining part instead along with Chicken Head Kim and her Quasimodo drug dealer. So don’t worry Lisa the vacay will be ruined somehow, Bravo will make sure of that. Also Giggi can’t go to Hawaii because the airlines don’t take purse dogs.

All the skank hags show up at the airport in their uncomfortable high heels  to board a plane to Hawaii. They looked like they were attending a tranny convention for retired casino stiletto hookers .  How kook of them!

While all the skanks hang out at some waiting room stuffing their faces and drinking champagne,  Kyle calls Kim to see where she is at because the plane is about to board in two seconds and bitch will not make it on time. Kim answers the phone all high and out of her skull and when Kyle asks her where she is at, Kim doesn’t even know how to answer that shit because she is all fucked up at some gutter somewhere in an alley in the armpit of North  Hollywood and has no idea where the fuck she is at or what day it is.

Kim hasn’t packed her clothes of course, doesn’t have any type of identification because she lied to Kyle about going to the DMV to renew her drivers licence a while back  and thinks she needs a passport to fly to Hawaii because the dumb asshole doesn’t realize Hawaii is in the United States. But, that’s what happens when you’re getting the premium blow from the dealer you’re blowing. Plus I am sure if Kim even realizes that she will be going to Hawaii she would be more worried about figuring out how to shove those balloons up her bony chicken ass to contraband them into the plane so she can get high later. Why doesn’t she just find some surfers at the beach and asks them where to score some weed? Oh, yeah it won’t count unless it was made in a dirty bathtub with Formaldehyde and it goes up your nose or in your veins via dirty needle.

Brandi is nice and high on Xanax and has been downing that shit with booze on the plane on the way there. Brandi seems like she is a lot of fun specially when she is pill popping and boozing, but all the other bitches don’t think that except for Camille who is Brandi’s new tittie bestie .

All the bitches arrive in Hawaii and head to Lanai, so they all pile up on some old-timey airplane left over from the Nazi wars of 1930. The pilot had to go outside and manually turn the propeller (that was being held with duct tape) and then jump start the plane while two guys pushed it from behind. This low budget plane was not acceptable for the sophisticated foo-foo la-la crew that was boarding it and so they all make a torrent of smart ass remarks about how ghetto this plane is. Mauricio is the one responsible for renting this banged up bucket and with his low paying freeway Orange salesman job salary, this is all this fool could afford. POBRECITO!! But, of course Kyle is embarrassed as fuck that he rented this accident waiting to happen relic that was supposed to be a private Jet not a private wreck.

I think the plane was fine it was the wrecks that got on it that were hazardous. I should get me one of thems Orange salesman job’s Mauricio has so I too can afford fancy ass planes such as this one!

When all the skank hags land on the island of Lanai, they all have to cram together and smell each others farts again. This time they shove them in some little clown bus and Brandi is nice and high and starting shit with the elderly Lisa and grandpapi Ken about how they’re too old to fuck or some shit. Lisa is getting all hissy-pissy.

Later on that night Brandi just keeps getting more fun and interesting so she decides to hang all over old man Ken like a cheap coat on a used rack. Except she was hanging her cheap rack on his used cock. Lisa notices that and she don’t like that shit. So, she threatens to cut that bitch if she doesn’t take her hands off her man and of course Brandi just keeps hanging on old grandpapi on purpose while flying on Xanax and monkey piss bong water or whatever the fuck that bitch was sucking on.

The next morning Brandi and Camille get some skimpy dental floss bikinis (but specially Brandi) while they both lay out in the sun wishing for some hot cabana boy to come by and spray them with tan lotion, but instead they get a chunky pool boy who sprays them with Hawaii sewer rat water. I wonder if the night Brandi and Camille scissored it up in Vegas  they were worried about their thin blade legs cutting them both in half?

While the two skanks laid there like two pieces of beef jerky drying up in the sun, Lisa and Ken show up so that Ken can ogle at Brandi. Lisa was all pissed off because Ken acts like such an embarrassing horny old toad all drooling on Brandi and asking her if her leg is okay or if she needs to have him arrange somebody to carry her on their back to the beach.

All this time Lisa was fuming because even though ooooooold fart Ken is old enough to be Lisa’s grandpapi Lisa is old news to him now and 38 year old brand new Brandi is old enough to be his great granddaughter and so he gets off on flirting with her. EEEWWWWW!!!!

Back in Cali Chankla Face is talking with her marriage counselor, about what an asshole her husband is and how because of him she is getting kicked out of every important white sheeet party in the Beverly Hillbillie’s and she will not stand for another boot to the ass at a party no more because she is tired of doing maintenance for this sob. The whole time Chankla Face and the counselor were talking they turned it into the let’s bash and blame Russell for everything hour.

Chankla calls the bitches on the phone to advice her marriage to Russell is ending because the bitch can’t handle first getting kicked out of the white sheeet party and next being banned from the Hawaii vacay, what’s next she may get kicked out of loitering at the Beverly Hillbillie’s public streets and fine establishments (where she doesn’t even live, but wishes she did) and then what?

IT’S OVER!  MY MARRIAGE IT’S OVER!! IT’S THE LAST TIME I AM GETTING THROWN OUT OF A PARTY !!!!WAAAAHHH!!!! WAAAAHHH!!! SINCE I AM GETTING A DIVORCE CAN I SWIM TO HAWAII AND JOIN YOU GUYS?

OK my Hot Bitches been busy at work which is why this recrap is running behind like the nalgas on my ass. Enjoy!

Camille Grammer received an email from an angry Russell Armstrong (similar to the one he send Lisa) warning Camille to shut the her fat mouth about him giving Chankla Face’s lips free beatdowns to keep her lips nice and plump without having to spend money on fat whale injections adding that these accusations are “false and slanderous remarks that could damage his business.” Adrienne and Paul are understandably afraid because with all the shit they all talk after a few cocktails, Russell who appears to be sue happy (those days) may decide to sue their rich assess next and then what?

They discuss the upcoming vacation to Hawaii and how  concerned they are that everyone is going to be afraid of having to hold their butt cheeks togueter to not  fart in Russell’s direction and insult him in the accidental crossfire or he may sue. See this is the reason rich people don’t hang around poor people they are afraid to get sued.

Lisa and Pandora are busy hiring a band for Pandora’s wedding and Lisa gets her panties wet over the Sombrero music. Booooring moving right along.

Back at Kyle’s she is freaking out about her annual white sheeet party because nothing is done; when she suddenly gets a phone call from Adrienne to let her know who was the latest recipient of the Armstrong’s sue happy email. Adrienne advice’s Kyle not to let that bitch Chankla and her  husband into the party because they may start suing bitches at random now. Kyle is not too happy, but knows this is what she has to do to keep the peace.

Kim and her daughters are having lunch at Kim’s latest faux-house possibly courtesy of Bravo so it looks like she has somewhere to live. Kim tells her daughters that her drug dealer I mean Quasimodo Ken will be making an appearance at the white party and that they better be nice to his ugly, creepy, rapist looking face or else he may take that two dollar promise ring back from Kim.

Let’s move right along to the fun part of this whole bitch fest at Kyle’s White Party. This whole episode was so boring but at the White Party is where all the excitements of the evening take place.

First we have stupid ass Kyle running around crying because she cant get a hold of Chankla Face to tell her not to bother coming to the White Party because no one wants her sue-happy ass over there.

While Kyle is freaking out about the Chankla situation, Kim is at the party running amuck already.  She  shows up with her drug-dealer Quasimodo Ken who is keeping her nice and lit up tonight; since she is wired to the moon she starts to act like an ass the minute she gets there and when she sees Pam/Dana  that bitch shows Kim nakid pictures of her and Brandi, but Kim is not digging that shit and tells Pam/Dana to shove those up her fat ass. Pam/Dana tries to laugh it off because she wants to make everyone happy so she can be accepted into this desperate Seahag group but Kim says that she will never make up with that gross bitch Brandi and will break her other leg. Must be the meth talking.

Kim also coughs on Lisa and freaks her out, I guess that must be a passive agressive thing that seniors in the old bitches home must pull when they’re trying to give someone the shingles. Kyle tells Chicken Head to calm her ass down and get along with Slut Pig. The classy Kim insist on breaking Brandi’s other leg. I think grandma need to calm her old ass down; bony ass Brandi can probably sit on her skinny ass with one leg broken and still fart on her chicken face and break Kim’s hip.

Kim  is nice and methed-out and feels like Superman on steroids so she is ready to take on tall ass Brandi.  She goes off to confront Brandi and her amazon bestie. Brandi who is towering over Chicken Head by at least 5 feet is trying to be cool by apologizing to Kim, because Brandi is smarter and realizes that you can’t argue with crazy, you’re just not going to win.

You can also tell that Brandi wants to laugh at chicken head and feels sorry for Kim’s pathetic ass standing there with her bony Tales From The Crypt finger pointing at Brandi berating her as if Brandi was five years old because Brandi likes to say “fuck” a lot and is a pretty girl who “ has a truck driver mouth.” You know,  if I had a nickel for everytime I’ve personally heard that I be Maloof rich. So what if Brandi has a truckdriver mouth? Kim looks and acts like she gives truck driver’s hand jobs for two bucks a pop. Brandi then, decides to yell “FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!” You tell her Brandi. Then, she tells Chicken Head to watch that bony finger.

While Kim is confronting the two big bitches  who are secretcly clowning on Kim;  Ken is drooling on Brandi’s plastic teeties and her friend’s too.

Even though Kim is the one telling Brandi she is ghetto and shit, Brandi is not the one acting like a trailer park grandma strung out on meth making a complete buffoon out herself and even seeking her young daughter Kimberly on Brandi when she walks away and yells “MY DAUGHTER HAS SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU!!” That is sooo a low-life move that a trailer park meth head would pull. Kim’s daughter looks all embarrassed and confused because she got there at the tail end of the fight and has no idea what her crack-head mom is talking about or what the fuck she expects her to say to Brandi. Earlier that day  Kim “blew bubbles” of hypocrisy up her daughters asses about getting along with people and blah, blah, blah. Then she lies about her fake cement boobs and tries to tell Pam/Dana they are real. Even Quasimodo knows she is lying.

Kyle pulls Lisa away to gossip about the events that are currently developing and informs her she will have to tell Chankla Face and Russell to fuck off when they show up at the door. Lisa who was the last recipient before it was Camille’s turn in getting one of Russell’s threatening  email’s,  is now trying to be the peacemaker and say that maybe Chankla wasn’t aware of the emails Russell has been sending bitches to threaten them. Adrienne calls bullshit on that and says bitch ”knows” about these shenanigans. She may of even helped her husband type that email, no? Everyone including the men are all in a panick outroar and Kyle sure in fuck dind’t need Methy over there confronting Slut Pig Amazon.

Meanwhile Chankla Face and Russell are in a limo all dressed in white and saying that they left Vegas to go to Kyle’s party. Little do they know that their kind is not welcome at the party.  Listen to their very telling conversation about how now that they’ve forgiven each other they can have fun. What the fuck is that mean? Was this after one of those mutual boxing matches that we are all suspect took place in the Chankla and Russell marriage?

When the limo pulls up Chankla Face spits out a happy crappy “helooooo!” while Kyle is losing her shit in tears as if someone died (sorry about that we all know what happens to Russell later) Chankla is confused as to why Kyle is so upset who can’t spew out what is going on. But Paul straight up tells the duo they need to beat it because of the innapropiate email send to Camille. Russell looks at Mauricio as if he is going to interfere and tell them to come in after all, but Mauricio just laughs at them and tells them that nobody wants to get sued. NO SHIT! Adrienne jumps in and says that Camille will have to call her lawyers if she is near Chankla and Russell because of that bullshit email.

Chankla Face insist that she never read the email, Adrienne says that bitch is full of shit and tells Russell to explain it to his lying bitch wife. Russell says that he was just warning Camille about the false accusations she made and Paul tells Russell that’s bullshit.

After Russell and Chankla realize that these folks are not fucking around and they really want them gone, Chankla Face gets all bitchy and shitty and says some shit about enjoying their party because they left Vegas for this shit.

When Chankla crams her bony ass in the limo an emotional teary Kyle follows her like a desperate teenager that just got dumped by her prom date and starts bawling about the reasons for kicking them both out.  Kyle says that Camille was only repeating all the shit this bitch is been dishing out, but Chankla Face insist that Camille is making this shit up. NO BITCH YOU’RE MAKING THIS SHIT UP! Chankla Face is all hissy-pissy rude and you can tell she wants to rip Kyle’s face off despite all her crying apologies.

Finally Chankla and Russell leave the party all pissed off. I wonder if they got into a boxing match later that night because of all this shit.

Lisa and Chankla Face are having lunch, Chankla Face says she is hungry. Really? Chankla you know that’s a pizza to eat not some Ajax on a mirror to snort? Right? Lisa is saying she wants to help Chankla because “Lisa wants to look like like the nice guy” while Chankla is auditioning to be the next Cedric. Lisa is falling for it.

Chankla Face says that going to  Brandi’s party was like walking into the lions-den. Yeah I bet, and Chankla was the one acting like the beast of the den. Then she states she doesn’t remember shit of what happened on the night of Brandi’s party because she was plastered like a sailor on payday after guzzling glasses of liquid courage. Then, after she admits that she was drunk off her ass she tells Lisa she hasn’t been drinking much lately. Bitch was probably drunk and can’t keep up with her lies.

Pandora has invited Chankla to ruin her bachelorette party (maybe Lisa pressure her to invite that hag) and surprisingly her 40th birthday falls on the same day as Pandora’s party. I wonder if “controlling” Russell knows Chankla Face will be going to Vegas to dry hump naked Chippendales? The mysteries of life.

After lunch Chankla leaves Lisa stuck with the bill. And so the mooching begins.

Camille has Dedra and Brandi over for lunch, booze and to talk smack about the other ho’s, like usual. Camille thinks Chankla is one hair away from a straight jacket and feels disappointed by Chankla’s asshole behavior. The other bitches don’t understand why Chankla Face is upset that Camille told the world what this bitch has been telling everyone all along. Camille also doesn’t understand Chankla and Lisa’s sudden besties relation-shit, Camille concludes it’s bullshit.

Adrienne and Paul are guest stars on a show called The Doctors and will be playing  a “power couple” who are promoting healthy eating and living.  Paul decides to  GRRRIIINNNDDD!!! On Adrienne’s last nerve by demanding food and complaining about being hungry and he does this shit all the way to the studio. Adrienne tells him he is a punk-bitch and cooking for his ass is not in her “power wife” job title that’s Bernie’s job. PUNK-BITCH!

I swear sometimes I sympathize with this bitch because when Paul is grinding on her last nerve I have flashbacks when Boss Man gets in my last nerve. Except, I love the Boss Man, but he can drive me nuts from time to time. AAARRGGGHHHHH!!!!

Kyle and the morally corrupt Faye Resnick (bitch is trying hard to get on this show) are at some lamp store breaking the lamps on purpose, since this was the only pathetic stunt they could pull out of their ass, so that the camera men would follow them.

Later on Kyle talks about her sister Kim and how that bitch lives under a drug-cocktail rock so she doesn’t use Facebook or Twitter or even answers her phone. Then, she does the splits on her dinning table for her photo-shoot because she too is hawking a book called How To Not Queefe While Doing The Splits. The only cool part about this Kyle-scene, was seeing little Portia and the dog eating cheese off the table. Portia is so adorable the rest is BORING! Moving right along.

Lisa takes her daughter Pandora wedding-dress shopping and the dresses were very pretty blah, blah, blah. Then, Lisa says something about how she rather purchase naked male whores instead of wedding dresses. WELL DUH! However, the best part of that shopping trip was Giggi. That little fucking dog is so damn cute did y’ all see his little paws trying to get out of those awful clothes Lisa insist on forcing him to wear? That little dog is so cute! CUUUUUUUTTTEE!!! That’s all I have to say about that scene.

Because Adrienne got butt-hurt that Pandora didn’t book her wild bachelorette weekend at her Palms Motel And Casino located over the freeway-hill, past 20 hotels and faaarr away from the strip (SCREW THAT!) She too is having a girls wild weekend and invites  Dana, Dedra, Brandi plus Camille to stay in her luxury Real World suite (complete with bedbugs) and bowl with their heels on, plus dance at the night-club and grind on each other while some random weirdo tries to get in between Camille and Brandi, and the bitches totally ignore his stupid ass.

We also got to see another portion of Dana showing off some dumb lollipop holder worth a million dollars. Camille who  could afford a few of those million dollar useless nicknacks and still pay her electric bill plus her full staff’s weekly salary, knows this bitch is stupid because she can not even afford to furnish the house she has been squatting at, and now she is carrying around a million dollar sucker because that’s EXACTLY what she is. I have a million dollar magic jelly bean I like to sell her, got it from the gumball machine for 25cents and she can suck on it all day. Maybe when the courts convict her and her man of fraud they can use this little piece of footage as evidence of their wild spending of other people’s money. PENDEJA!

Meanwhile, at the Planet Hollywood Lisa, Pandora, Chankla Face and a gang of twenty-something-year old girls that are friends of Pandora pile up in a limo and are up to no good Lisa doesn’t want Ken to know that. Lisa gets a “Mother Of The Bride” plastic tiara, Pandora gets a “Bride” tiara and Chankla Face gets an “Asshole” tiara.

Yep, because nobody gives a shit it’s Chankla’s birthday.

Poor Lisa and Pandora are stuck with an over excited-for-no-reason,  screaming Chankla Face while they watch the Chipmunk full Monty Show. I was traumatized from our recent brush with the fugly El RiDick-Culo and thought he was going to jump out of a box and start smacking bitches with his peen. But thank God that didn’t happen. However, the way Chankla was screaming all horrified and punching on Lisa every time one of the men shook his ass for those quarters you would of thought she was reacting to El RiDick-Culo’s Donkey Dong Dance. Lisa gets all pissed off at stupid Chankla and finally yells “HAVEN’T YOU EVER SEEN A NAKED MAN??!!” STUPID ASS!

After that, the Chipmunk Cock-Sock guys invite the ladies onstage to participate in a contest to see who can lap-dance and grind her ass the best on the male dancer’s crotch.  Lisa, Pandora and Chankla Face are the participants. Poor Pandora can’t go full dirty grind on this dude because her mama is there chaperoning her ass. But Lisa can go full on skank on the male stripper and the guy was enjoying that shit. Then, it’s Chankla Face’s turn I feel sorry for that guy because you can tell he was thinking NOOOO NOOOO NOOOOO!!! When bag of bones and lips Chankla does her lame-ass, sad attempt at lap-dancing on the poor bastard that gets stuck with her, he couldn’t wait to push her off him; which he does and she falls with her bony ass on ther ground which shatters into a million pieces. Lisa and her 72 year old hot ass win the contest (she does have a hot ass for an old broad!)

Kyle and her mother-in-law Estella are shopping at some store in the Hillbillie’s. When suddenly a belligerent Kim shows up, who’s been up for the past three weeks and is coming down from a meth-binge and is fighting with the imaginary spiders that followed her here. Kim says she doesn’t want to talk to Estella because Estella is going to know Kim has been hiiiiiiggggghhhhh!!!!

Estella leaves because it’s not like she wants to stay, get into an argument with Kim, and have her brand new face fall off because of the stress, Estella is old enough to know this skank it’s not worth it.

Kim starts going into a good old fashioned, public strung-out freak-out with tears and everything  and spills the beans about the difficult relationship she holds with Quasimoto Ken who Kim’s children hate and is accused of being  a controlling weirdo and an asshole and Kyle agrees with that, but is just going to give Kim more rope to hang herself with this time.

The episode opens with Kyle and Kim. Kyle is meeting Kim’s mystery man (that she found on craigslist hookups) for the first time and is sobbing because she knows he is a weirdo. I mean just LOOK AT HIM! So Kyle cries and blah, blah, blah. She knows Kim fucked up.

OK moving right along. Chankla Face had some event thing for her faux-charity. Chankla doesn’t like Miss Princess Lisa VanderDump because Miss VanderDump is made of real Gold turds and her ass can tell a faker from eight yards away. Chankla doesn’t like it when someone tells her like it is so, she makes an effort to avoid Lisa as much as possible and because she also wanted to throw a passive aggressive dig she totally didn’t invite Lisa to the event and of course  to piss her off.

Chankla’s evil plan to piss the Lisa off worked because she purposely didn’t tell some of the other bitches that she wasn’t inviting Lisa (see so this way they would spill it to Lisa in conversation later on) and luckily, for Chankla Face this happened sooner than she thought because while Kyle was wondering the hallways of an abandoned crackhouse looking for Chankla’s event she accidentally tells Lisa on a phone coversation, that Chankla Face didn’t invite her.  When Kyle told Chankla Face of her accidental spill Chankla was loving that shit.

The next day, Lisa invites all the skanks including Chankla Face to her multimillion dollar princess castle so, that Chankla can feel stupid for not inviting Lisa to her faux charity thingy. But before Chankla Face shows up, at the VanderDumpster multimillion dollar dump, Lisa reveals an email she received from the late Russell who was planning on making a couple of bucks out of the deal and sue the VanderDumpsters for talking to the gossip mags about Chankla Face’s deteriorating, pill-popping, crack-head frame.

Chankla Face and her lips show up to Lisa’s mansion. And because Chankla is a raging attention-whore with amazing  water faucet talents, she decides she wants to start confronting Lisa and cry and scream with her gigantor lips like she wants to swallow Lisa alive, then maybe Lisa would shut up and quit telling that bitch to eat; but who wouldn’t tell that scary bitch to eat something? She looks like she hasn’t eaten since 1975!

So, Chankla Face starts crying more and getting louder about how Lisa doesn’t like her because Chankla is a broke ass and Lisa was sitting there almost smirking because she KNOWS that Chankla Face is a grifter and not real Beverly Hillbilly Royalty. (I mean, if the bitch would of at least won the lottery, maybe Lisa would of liked her better, but nah!)

Chankla Face is on a “mission” to ruin Lisa’s afternoon tea that she even tries to get the other bitches to join her in telling Princess Lisa how it is. When Chankla Face tries to get the other bitches to thrash on Lisa, the other ho’s are sitting there mumbling and twiddling their thumbs, but specially dipshit Kyle when Chankla Face goes off on Lisa having a HUGE EGO (like Chankla doesn’t right?) and she drags Kyle into it.

Chankla Face kept crying and screaming at the top of her lungs, about how she kissed Lisa’s ass to be part of the rich bitch club, but since Chankla Face’s middle name is Traylor Parker she will never be good enough for Lisa and Lisa feels deep down inside that Chankla needs to go back to her double wide in Oklahoma where she is comfortable. Even though Lisa thinks Chankla is a loser and all of that shit she still apologized to her for being an asshole, but all of that is not enough for Chankla who is on a meltdown. AGAIN!

Then, Lisa reminds Chankla Face that she invited her and little Kennedy to go live with her, but Chankla says that Lisa did it to be a bitch. YEP, that’s exactly what that bitch was planning to do she was going to have Chankla take Maria the maids spot and her and Maria were going to laugh at Chankla while she tried to figure out how to clean the toilets. Chankla was on to her.

Chankla Face storms out. When she storms out she runs into someone. At first I thought it was the cameramen or some shit because you hear her say “I stormed out!” but upon closer inspection I saw it was none other than Dr. Paul Frankenstein and the water faucet was turn to off, and her mood turned to on. YEP! I suspect that! Because watch how comfortable and happy she is to see him!

Meanwhile, the other hens are in the hen-house cackling back and forth about how Chankla Face is an asshole that cries one minute about how she is leaving Russell for good and the next minute she is jumping on an airplane with him. Kyle is even fed up with Chankla Face and brings up how that bitch probably makes up all the wild stories about Russell. Notice how Lisa asks Kyle BITCH ISN’T SHE YOUR FRIEND? And Kyle is all licking Lisa’s ass and taking sides with Lisa and the majority because she doesn’t want to piss her rich friend off.

Chankla Face comes back in to fight some more and this is where shit got good. After Chankla sat there, whining about how she wants everyone to be honest, and bring everything out to the table Camille asks her if she really wants ALL OF  her true business out there and warns her to be careful with saying shit like that. All of the sudden Camille can’t take it anymore and straight up yells at Chankla “WE BEEN PROTECTING YOU! BECAUSE WE DON’T SAY THAT HE HITS YOU! BECAUSE WE DON’T SAY HE BROKE YOUR JAW! OR THAT HE BEAT YOU UP! AND THAT HE, HE HITS YOU! WE DON’T SAY THAT  BUT NOW WE SAID IT!” SNAAAP!!! Chankla wanted honesty and Camille brought up the 900 pound gorilla in the room. And all of the sudden I love Camille Grammer!

Camille Grammer’s ex-husband Kelsey Grammer seems to really hate her guts. He either doesn’t give a shit how he comes off when he dumps on her or he is just honest. Methinks a little bit of part A, and a little bit of part B and somewhere in the middle there is the truth. I still haven’t forgotten what a beast Camille was in season one, I bet that last season’s Camille  is the REAL  Camille. The one we have this season is a mellow version just to not piss off her ex and jeopardize her jackpot divorce settlement.

Kelsey’s evil genius revenge  I-hate-bitch-face-plan to make Camille famous via Psycho Circus Side Show as the main attraction last season worked out as planned. And check out the video below he is straight up bragging about the RHOBH grenade he pulled the pin from and threw behind him as he left Camille, while running and laughing his ass off!

“In my mind [RHOBH] was my parting gift to her,” Grammer said. “It was a very difficult marriage and a very difficult decade. I thought, ‘So long, here’s a present for you.’”