OK my Hot Bitches been busy at work which is why this recrap is running behind like the nalgas on my ass. Enjoy!

Camille Grammer received an email from an angry Russell Armstrong (similar to the one he send Lisa) warning Camille to shut the her fat mouth about him giving Chankla Face’s lips free beatdowns to keep her lips nice and plump without having to spend money on fat whale injections adding that these accusations are “false and slanderous remarks that could damage his business.” Adrienne and Paul are understandably afraid because with all the shit they all talk after a few cocktails, Russell who appears to be sue happy (those days) may decide to sue their rich assess next and then what?

They discuss the upcoming vacation to Hawaii and how  concerned they are that everyone is going to be afraid of having to hold their butt cheeks togueter to not  fart in Russell’s direction and insult him in the accidental crossfire or he may sue. See this is the reason rich people don’t hang around poor people they are afraid to get sued.

Lisa and Pandora are busy hiring a band for Pandora’s wedding and Lisa gets her panties wet over the Sombrero music. Booooring moving right along.

Back at Kyle’s she is freaking out about her annual white sheeet party because nothing is done; when she suddenly gets a phone call from Adrienne to let her know who was the latest recipient of the Armstrong’s sue happy email. Adrienne advice’s Kyle not to let that bitch Chankla and her  husband into the party because they may start suing bitches at random now. Kyle is not too happy, but knows this is what she has to do to keep the peace.

Kim and her daughters are having lunch at Kim’s latest faux-house possibly courtesy of Bravo so it looks like she has somewhere to live. Kim tells her daughters that her drug dealer I mean Quasimodo Ken will be making an appearance at the white party and that they better be nice to his ugly, creepy, rapist looking face or else he may take that two dollar promise ring back from Kim.

Let’s move right along to the fun part of this whole bitch fest at Kyle’s White Party. This whole episode was so boring but at the White Party is where all the excitements of the evening take place.

First we have stupid ass Kyle running around crying because she cant get a hold of Chankla Face to tell her not to bother coming to the White Party because no one wants her sue-happy ass over there.

While Kyle is freaking out about the Chankla situation, Kim is at the party running amuck already.  She  shows up with her drug-dealer Quasimodo Ken who is keeping her nice and lit up tonight; since she is wired to the moon she starts to act like an ass the minute she gets there and when she sees Pam/Dana  that bitch shows Kim nakid pictures of her and Brandi, but Kim is not digging that shit and tells Pam/Dana to shove those up her fat ass. Pam/Dana tries to laugh it off because she wants to make everyone happy so she can be accepted into this desperate Seahag group but Kim says that she will never make up with that gross bitch Brandi and will break her other leg. Must be the meth talking.

Kim also coughs on Lisa and freaks her out, I guess that must be a passive agressive thing that seniors in the old bitches home must pull when they’re trying to give someone the shingles. Kyle tells Chicken Head to calm her ass down and get along with Slut Pig. The classy Kim insist on breaking Brandi’s other leg. I think grandma need to calm her old ass down; bony ass Brandi can probably sit on her skinny ass with one leg broken and still fart on her chicken face and break Kim’s hip.

Kim  is nice and methed-out and feels like Superman on steroids so she is ready to take on tall ass Brandi.  She goes off to confront Brandi and her amazon bestie. Brandi who is towering over Chicken Head by at least 5 feet is trying to be cool by apologizing to Kim, because Brandi is smarter and realizes that you can’t argue with crazy, you’re just not going to win.

You can also tell that Brandi wants to laugh at chicken head and feels sorry for Kim’s pathetic ass standing there with her bony Tales From The Crypt finger pointing at Brandi berating her as if Brandi was five years old because Brandi likes to say “fuck” a lot and is a pretty girl who “ has a truck driver mouth.” You know,  if I had a nickel for everytime I’ve personally heard that I be Maloof rich. So what if Brandi has a truckdriver mouth? Kim looks and acts like she gives truck driver’s hand jobs for two bucks a pop. Brandi then, decides to yell “FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!” You tell her Brandi. Then, she tells Chicken Head to watch that bony finger.

While Kim is confronting the two big bitches  who are secretcly clowning on Kim;  Ken is drooling on Brandi’s plastic teeties and her friend’s too.

Even though Kim is the one telling Brandi she is ghetto and shit, Brandi is not the one acting like a trailer park grandma strung out on meth making a complete buffoon out herself and even seeking her young daughter Kimberly on Brandi when she walks away and yells “MY DAUGHTER HAS SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU!!” That is sooo a low-life move that a trailer park meth head would pull. Kim’s daughter looks all embarrassed and confused because she got there at the tail end of the fight and has no idea what her crack-head mom is talking about or what the fuck she expects her to say to Brandi. Earlier that day  Kim “blew bubbles” of hypocrisy up her daughters asses about getting along with people and blah, blah, blah. Then she lies about her fake cement boobs and tries to tell Pam/Dana they are real. Even Quasimodo knows she is lying.

Kyle pulls Lisa away to gossip about the events that are currently developing and informs her she will have to tell Chankla Face and Russell to fuck off when they show up at the door. Lisa who was the last recipient before it was Camille’s turn in getting one of Russell’s threatening  email’s,  is now trying to be the peacemaker and say that maybe Chankla wasn’t aware of the emails Russell has been sending bitches to threaten them. Adrienne calls bullshit on that and says bitch ”knows” about these shenanigans. She may of even helped her husband type that email, no? Everyone including the men are all in a panick outroar and Kyle sure in fuck dind’t need Methy over there confronting Slut Pig Amazon.

Meanwhile Chankla Face and Russell are in a limo all dressed in white and saying that they left Vegas to go to Kyle’s party. Little do they know that their kind is not welcome at the party.  Listen to their very telling conversation about how now that they’ve forgiven each other they can have fun. What the fuck is that mean? Was this after one of those mutual boxing matches that we are all suspect took place in the Chankla and Russell marriage?

When the limo pulls up Chankla Face spits out a happy crappy “helooooo!” while Kyle is losing her shit in tears as if someone died (sorry about that we all know what happens to Russell later) Chankla is confused as to why Kyle is so upset who can’t spew out what is going on. But Paul straight up tells the duo they need to beat it because of the innapropiate email send to Camille. Russell looks at Mauricio as if he is going to interfere and tell them to come in after all, but Mauricio just laughs at them and tells them that nobody wants to get sued. NO SHIT! Adrienne jumps in and says that Camille will have to call her lawyers if she is near Chankla and Russell because of that bullshit email.

Chankla Face insist that she never read the email, Adrienne says that bitch is full of shit and tells Russell to explain it to his lying bitch wife. Russell says that he was just warning Camille about the false accusations she made and Paul tells Russell that’s bullshit.

After Russell and Chankla realize that these folks are not fucking around and they really want them gone, Chankla Face gets all bitchy and shitty and says some shit about enjoying their party because they left Vegas for this shit.

When Chankla crams her bony ass in the limo an emotional teary Kyle follows her like a desperate teenager that just got dumped by her prom date and starts bawling about the reasons for kicking them both out.  Kyle says that Camille was only repeating all the shit this bitch is been dishing out, but Chankla Face insist that Camille is making this shit up. NO BITCH YOU’RE MAKING THIS SHIT UP! Chankla Face is all hissy-pissy rude and you can tell she wants to rip Kyle’s face off despite all her crying apologies.

Finally Chankla and Russell leave the party all pissed off. I wonder if they got into a boxing match later that night because of all this shit.

Back in season one, Jiggi wasn’t the only lapdog Lisa VanderDump owned, she also had Cedric Martinez her Sponge Bob Gay Pet. According to Cedric’s story, he was a poor soul who has no family because his mother a French Prostitution-Whore left his poor ass abandoned in the streets of Paris when he was eight years old, and somehow he became a model or whatever the fuck he was when Lisa and Ken hired him (because he is pretty) to run their nightclubs and eventually somehow he weasel his way into becoming their permanent house guest complete with a salary and vacations paid for by the VanderDumpster’s, they even bought him a car and all this cool shit.

Sounds like Cedric was living an awesome life of Riley, until Lisa’s husband Ken got sick of the sponging (maybe Cedric was holding back the handjobs on Ken?) and told her to drive Cedric to the nearest freeway overpass and leave him there because he was sponging the VanderDumps out of food and house ( in this economic times even rich folk can’t afford extra pets.) And so history repeated itself again for pobrecito Cedric. After Lisa and Ken disposed of him, Lisa stated that Cedric is crafty and will find another ”idiot” like Lisa to provide for him the high life he was accustomed to because of the VanderDump’s generosity.

Cedric is also the MAIN reason Lisa doesn’t like new slut on the block Brandi Glanville, since it appears Brandi and Cedric are buddy-buddy and Lisa thinks Cedric is sending Brandi around as a spy to keep tabs on Lisa (because is not like there’s cameras following her around most of the time.)

Back in February pictures popped up of Cedric Martinez and Brandi Glanville having lunch in Beverly Hills and there was rumors that Cedric and Brandi were dating. DATING? So is he bi? Hummm? So he is a professional live-in giggolo that swings both ways? Soo that’s what he was doing with the VaderDumpsters.

Cedric was left butt hurt and angry after he was thrown from the VanderDump manor and into the cold thug infested streets of Beverly Hills and it appears he is now telling his side of the story. Cedric now has a job and a place to live and he also states the house skanks are a bunch of  raging, drunken psycho, old bitches (yeah, we knew that) falling apart at the seams, and insinuates that Kim has MORE problems than just plain old alcohol. He also says that Lisa  was the one behind all the stories about Chankla Face (yeah, we knew that also) he is also coming out with a tell-all book and will be a guest this season!

 From WetPaint:

“It was a rough year,” says Cedric, “but I’ve landed on my feet. Ken stabbed me in the back and Lisa twisted the knife, but they didn’t kill me.” The former houseguest now a place of his own and a job he loves. And that’s not all: He’s got a tell-all memoir in the works.Taylor Armstrong’s marital troubles, an act that anyone following Season 2 knows Taylor herself believes to have happened. “Absolutely!” says Cedric. “There’s no question about it. I’ve known Lisa has Us Weekly on speed dial since she sold out my relationship with Lance Bass.”

Cedric says that Lisa not only planted negative stories about him in the tabloids, but she also talked to the media about

Cedric will make an appearance later on in Season 2, but in the meantime, he is watching the show closely and has some concerns. Take Kim Richards. “Anyone watching this season knows drinking is the least of her problems,” says Cedric. “I hope and pray she gets the help she so desperately needs.”

The new season of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hillbillies opened up with a somber note on  August 29th 2011, the day of Russell Armstrong’s funeral. To be honest I don’t even think I want to go into full recap mode because after what happened to Russell the whole Housewives franchise is now tainted. It’s the truth and it’s sad, I’m not saying it’s Bravo’s fault, but did Russell going on this show only amplified his problems? Did going on this show become a nightmare to this dude that started out with him agreeing to drop that Bravo hit of acid that Chankla peer pressured his ass to take while whispering in his ear “come on it will be fun!” meanwhile only thinking about the fun SHE  would have on this famewhoring roller-coaster of chaos, but NOT thinking about how Russell will freak out specially after the walls start to melt and there’s trails following your words until  it becomes a bad acid trip? I cannot think of any other way to describe it, but that’s how horrible it must be to be on a reality show.

Week after week ever since I started this blog (for fun) I have sat here and clowned on these housewives for everything and anything that I found ridiculous, especially their blatant insistence that their faux wealth makes them untouchable from our consistent trail of banter festivals, and when their faux-fronts crumbled down I pointed out the obvious and went into full insane-clown mode while Y’all joined me in the mocking- marathons on these ho’s.

I always thought that once the cameras stopped rolling and these bitches closed their doors that their superiority complexes protected them from our various and colorful array of taunts and that the next season the clowns would just return with the circus that is Bravo to take more tomatoes to the face while they sit and try to look sophisticated on  the stage of their faux-reality.

But now that I see that a man is dead (who wasn’t even a housewife, but rather a casualty that happened to be dragged into this mess)  it makes me wonder if it is even right for all of us to watch these shows and point out all these people’s ridiculousness in all it’s embarrassing glory while they are going through serious mental problems and Bravo is exploiting them. I don’t want everyone to think I’m sitting here preaching from the morality soapbox (especially the crass, loudmouthed, gutter mouth bitch I am) but after this tragedy I feel disappointed at the way Bravo just went ahead with their  “Ok the show must go on” attitude and all they did was slap on a little segment of the housewives talking about Russell and their opinions on the possible reasons of why they think he offed himself. Of course those reasons revolve mainly around money and how in the “town” they live at broke assess with Hyundai Sonata budget and Rolls Royce taste have to put up a front which can put a lot of unnecessary pressure on someone like Kyle puts it. Yep, Russell was a little dog trying to hang with the big dogs, all  housewives and their husbands silently agreed with that.

This episode was mainly focused on Adrienne Maloof’s  awkward dinner party and Chankla Face’s marital problems, plus her efforts in visiting a therapist to help her and Russell fix their marriage, a marriage that we all now know how it ended and this makes the whole thing sad and very grim and it sucks all the funny out of the whole season, but I’m still going to try and make my recaps funny, maybe not this one, but the future ones at least because the least we could do is learn from all of this and everyone individually will figure out the lesson they can pull out of this train-wreckage.

While everyone sat down at the dinner party Adrienne flipped out on her husband Paul for some stupid ass reason, I guess she thought that by Paul fucking around and joking he was embarrassing her when in reality the more bitchy she became the more she looked like an ass. I was embarrassed for this poor rich bitch. I think the main problem is  that she keeps letting Paul try more face-lift experiments on her already stretched out strange looking-frozen mug, hence her new face this season, and Paul keeps screwing up these face-lift experiments making her look more and more like Jocelyn Wildenstein Jr so this bitch keeps getting angrier and angrier at Dr. Frankenstein and that’s why she keeps getting more and more irritable with him.   I can see in my crystal ball that Adrienne and Paul are the next motherfuckers to get a divorce. Adrienne admits that her husband gets in her last nerve and that they can stand each other only in small doses. Sounds like Adrienne is ready to trade Paul in for a younger model since she is the suga-mama with the money in this relationshit (misspelled on purpose).

After Adrienne, managed to make everyone uncomfortable at this dinner party,  Chankla Face starts talking about Russell and how she is having difficulty in her marriage and is dragging Russell to therapy. While Chankla yaps away Lisa’s husband Ken jumps in to put in his 2cents and tells Chankla that therapy is for weak people. So he pretty much implies that Chankla and Russell are pussies for going to therapy, Chankla believes  his crazy ass is the one that really needs therapy because he sits there carrying a fucking dressed dog all day and bragging about how the dog is so good looking and dresses so nice other dogs are jealous of it, but Chankla doesn’t say that and just thinks it so instead she runs to the bathroom and cries to Kyle after getting offended at Ken’s comment and Ken gets offended at Kyle when she jumps in defending Chankla Face and instructs her to NOT use the word “offended” when she describes Chankla’s reaction.  So he then instructs the bitch to use the word “upset” instead. Lisa VanderDump is pissed off that Chankla Face is trying to manipulate Kyle to fight her battles and turn her against the VanderDumps she also calls Chankla a liar. And Lisa is absolutely right! Chankla Face is intimidated by the VanderDump bitch because not only can this bitch crush her with her wallet she can see through her bullshit and Chankla knows it.

The pettiness continues when Chankla Face returns from the bathroom and gets confronted for being a bitch and a manipulator. Suddenly Lisa decides she is done and comes up with the lamest excuse ever invented in the history of mankind, for abruptly leaving a dinner party and blurts out “I gotta pick up someone from the airport” I don’t even know why she even said that shit because everyone already KNEW why they where leaving. All this petty bullshit seems so insignificant and stupid compared to what was coming in the months ahead as Russell prepared to live his final days in this reality TV fishbowl. How did Alison Dubois and her magical cigarette not predict this outcome?

Sorry maybe the next recap I do won’t be so grim!

Russell’s funeral took place on Wednesday at Forest Lawn Cemetery in the Hollywood Hills, no cameras were allowed . The cast of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills attended as well as some of the women from OC . It looks like Vicki Gunvalson showed up with her new man, and also in attendance was Peggy Tanous. Cedric Martinez showed up, but was turned away for not being on the guest list.

“The family will be holding a very private memorial for Russell on Saturday and it’s been made clear that Taylor is not to be invited,” the family member told RadarOnline.com.

“Most of the family was never very fond of Taylor and we’d just prefer to have a non-dramatic memorial where we can honor and love Russell as we knew him.”

As RadarOnline.com first reported, Russell’s family was not present during Wednesday’s memorial at Forest Lawn in the Hollywood Hills, though most of his Real Housewives of Beverly Hills co-stars were.

“Let’s face it, there is no love lost between Taylor and Russell’s family. Russell’s family wanted no part of the memorial, they felt it was all for Taylor,” a source close to the situation told RadarOnline.com.

“Taylor was relieved that they didn’t attend. She wanted to be surrounded by her friends and just say good-bye to Russell.”

Russell, 47, was found hanged on August 15 in the bedroom of a friend’s Mulholland Drive home where he was staying.

Authorities have ruled his death a suicide.

Sources tell TMZ … The Coroner’s office wanted the meeting because Taylor was at the scene of Russell’s suicide when his body was discovered nearly 2 weeks ago.  Investigators were not able to speak with Taylor that day because she left before they arrived.

L.A. County Assistant Chief Coroner Ed Winter met with Taylor at home for a half hour and discussed, among other things, Russell’s state of mind in the weeks leading up to his death, his drug use and whether he was under a doctor’s care.

Sources say Taylor told Winter … Russell was not under any regimen of drugs and she had absolutely no idea he would commit suicide.

Chankla Face also feels that her daughter Kennedy and her can benefit from therapy. Plus her five year old doesn’t know her father killed himself. I hope for little Kennedy’s sake she is telling the truth.

From Radaronline

Taylor has remained holed up with her daughter at their 9k a month Bel Air Crest rental house since the tragedy, venturing out Thursday to attend a memorial to her late husband at Forest Hills in Hollywood.

Taylor has been reading several books with Kennedy that are geared towards children that have lost a parent.

“Kennedy is only five, she understands that Russell has died – however, she keeps asking for him. Taylor has made the decision that Kennedy should see a mental health professional to deal with the loss of her father.

“Taylor’s sole focus right now is taking care of her daughter, and helping her through this very difficult time. Kennedy doesn’t know Russell killed himself, Kennedy is just too young to process the idea of suicide,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com.

“Kennedy will most likely begin therapy sessions in the next week or so. Right now, Taylor is just trying to return to a normal routine for Kennedy’s sake,” the insider says.

As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Russell abruptly stopped taking his anti-depression medication two weeks before his suicide. Russell had been taking the meds to control issues he was having with rage.

Meanwhile, Taylor received a visit from L.A. County Assistant Chief Coroner Ed Winter, Friday to discuss Russell’s state of mind leading up to his suicide.

Another article posted by  Radaronline that I can’t believe I missed it! Because it  is sooo creepy and sad, it’s about how Russell’s body was hanging there from that noose for a few hours, they don’t know for how long and his head almost became detached from his corpse so this is why they decided to cremate him. That’s so sad!

This is the house where Russell took his life. It’s haunted now.

After all the ignorant bullshit Cuntmille was spewing out of her dried up mumified tales from the cript lips througout the whole season, about how she married a celebrity and she was at the top of the pecking order , and she only wiped her Irritable Bullshit Syndrome runny ass with thousand dollar bills  while riding her celebrity husband’s long expensive coat tails encrusted in gold  and on and on and on. And how all the other bitches sucked ass, ’cause they’re not at the top of the food chain like she THOUGHT she was.

  It  all  ended up  crashing down on her beef jerkied flabby ass by the end of the season,  just  like a Malibu California mud slide on a trillion dollar home after it’s been raining for 11 days straight. Yep, all her shit came crashing down, when it was finally revealed that Lady KaKa was getting replaced by a younger version of her old crusty ass .

Cuntmille’s husband Kelsey high tailed it to New York when he found the perfect excuse by doing his own show over there. But it  was all truly a very careful plan to  set up his escape route and new love nest with his new younger girlfriend the Cuntmille replacement.

 It went as far as Kelsey dumping  Cuntmille by phone and telling her  he was done with the marriage, all while filming was going on. Just to ad to the humiliation.  And because that wasn’t enough humiliation the whole  disaster was followed  by Kelsey being weird and denying Cuntmille access to hers and Kelsey’s own New York apartment! Which I bet the deed is in both their names too!

Now, what normal married person would tolerate these kinds of ridiculous shenanigans from a spouse?! You gotta be a stupid idiot to not know that your spouse is  hiding another Sancho or in this case Sancha at the apartment! So obvious.

It all escalated when Cuntmille tried to enter her luxury New York apartment and the security guard denied her access. According to Cuntmille he called her a ’Liar’ when she insisted she was Mrs. Grammer and he made her show id. I bet the securtity guard was just doing his job and also since he saw another woman with Kelsey he didn’t recognized Lady KaKa in all her diarreaheal runny glory. And sadly that’s how she put it together. Took her a minute.

 But did her so called psychic friend Allison Dubois from the dinner party from hell see this one coming ?? HELL NO! Cause’ her friend is a psycho drunk not a psychic.

 But don’t worry about that ho’, she is still gonna be collecting a hefty 50 million dollars from the huge divorce settlement  from Kelsey no matter what. ‘Cause his cross dressing ass didn’t sign a prenuptial agreement when he married Cuntmille.

While Kelsey was setting up his new love shack in the west coast Cuntmille entertained herself with Nick the Sancho Dick and with fighting with Kyle over one thing  that supposedly Kyle said  about   Cuntmille’s Hawaii vacation without Kelsey there .And  this got dragged throughout the whole season of the show. Talk about petty shit!

 For some reason I don’t feel that bad for that ho’ since, during the whole season Cuntmille spend the whole time dry humping that Nick the Sancho Dick’s leg  and I bet there was some other more gross humping when the cameras were not around because it was OBVIOUS and not only that, but also the permanent miserable look on his wife’s face said it all. 

And as side show  fight  to keep things spicy Chankla Face and Chicken Head Kim fought . Because Chankla is a shit stirrer bitch and Kim was apparently drunk the whole entire time this was being filmed  since she ended up going to  rehab and its rumored it was alcohol rehab for being a drunk. Damn, no wonder that bitch always looked confused!

And lets not forget Kyle and Kim going at it too. Kyle enjoys bullying Kim because it’s easy to do and the bitch is always drunk and confused plus I bet when they were kids Kim used to do the bullying on Kyle since she is older. So Kyle is just taking her revenge  by bullying drunken confused Kim, whom she almost jumped in the limo trying to choke her in the last episode.  Plus did ya all noticed how Bravo choose to  show the part were Kim was left alone drunk and crying in the limo as the final scene where they show her little blurb and they put she went to rehab? Yeah, drunk tank rehab!

Lisa VanderDump and her 150 year old husband had their own pest control problems to deal with and had to go mega exterminator on Cedric Martinez the Spoge Bob Gay Pet  who somehow managed to sponge off of them and live the sweet life of a pampered Riley as an unwelcome guess of the kind VanderDumps for over a year mooching off of them.  He lived in their guest house and ate all  their food, drank all their wine and smoked all their weed plus drove their cars with no licence.

 It all was going well until Mr. VanderDump finally said ’ENOUGH!’. And Cedric got the fat shinny boot to the ass that on the day he moved him and Lisa got into a big nasty yelling fight that he hasn’t spoken to her since.

 By the way Mr. VanderDump apparently has some kind of a  fucked up mental disorder or thinks he is a comic book super villain because he carries that little dog around while he has  his finger up the dogs ass everywhere he goes and the dog has to wear matching clothes with him all the time!

Mrs. Jocelyn Wildenstein Jr.  and her husband Dr. Frankenstein aka the Bickersons kept bickering and getting in each others nerves over the dumbest fucking things . Besides the scary ass plastic surgery gone wrong face that bitch walks around with on a daily basis, her life seemed pretty normal.  Including the bickering and all. I can tell the reason her husband gets in her last nerve like he does constantly is because HE IS the reason she looks like that. I bet he talked her into getting all that face stretching and neck pulling and skin ironing shit she’s had done . Because the guy is always trying to make her do shit she don’t want to.

Like for example when they were at the restaurant at one of the first episodes of the season and he ordered turkey and she didn’t want to try it because she said she hated turkey , but  he was so pushy and he insisted that she try the turkey and he was damn near force feeding  her. It was crazy and that’s how annoying he acts. I bet they bicker about which hole what thing goes into, when they’re having sex too! Great now I got a picture in my head of those 2 doing it! GROSSS!!

And that’s what I think of those bitches and their crazy shenanigans!

We learned on a previous episode that according to Cedric Martinez (Lisa VanderDump’s house bitch) he was the son of a French prostitute who was raped and  Cedric ended up homeless with his prostitute mother begging on the streets of France by the age of 7. At least this is the sob story he told Kyle and everyone else he cons. I bet he was telling Kyle this sad story ’cause he knew the VanderDumps were getting ready to give him the boot to the ass and he was trying to secure his next free meal ticket by moving in with Kyle.

 The dude is a genius, since he’s been living with the VanderDumps since he was 15! Sucking on the VanderDumps teetie of luxury. But according to Lisa she revealed during the reunion that Ken finally had enough of Cedric’s spongy ass and kicked him out, plus they no longer speak!. I wonder if she also drove him to a phone booth and left his ass there. Althought I doubt Cedric is living in a van down by the river . I think spongy will be alright . The guy is eye candy! So I’m sure some other millionaire will pay his cute boy-toy ass to sit around in his skivies and look pretty.

The usual tonge-bitch slapping, name calling and accusations flew like wet monkey shit during the taping of the teary reunion, wich will air in 2 weeks. Including Cuntmille and Kyle going at it, Kim and Chankla Face going at it, plus Kyle and Kim also duked it out according to Life & Style :

On the morning of Jan. 4, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast mates gathered in a heavily guarded private room inside the Millennium Biltmore Hotel for the emotional and tear-filled taping of the cast reunion, Life & Style has learned. As soon as Kyle Richards was face-to-face with archenemy Camille Grammer, the sparks — and accusations — started flying. “Kyle wasn’t going to sit there and not address what Camille had done,” a production source tells Life & Style. “She called Camille out on a lot.” According to the source, by the end of the taping, every Housewife was sobbing — except for Camille. However, she did manage to shock her castmates by offering a semi-apology.”Camille admitted there were certain things she was just horrified about saying,” the source reveals.

But Kyle and Camille weren’t the only ones at each other’s throats — there was plenty of arguing between Kim and Taylor Armstrongas well as sister’s Kim and Kyle Richards. The sisters’ tension reaches a boiling point in the final episode of the show and carries into the reunion. The two still haven’t resolved their deepseated issues, according to the production source.

Also during the reunion, Lisa Vanderpump reveals shocking news that her houseguest Cedric, whom she has been caring for since he was 15, has moved out. “Lisa’s husband, Ken, wanted him gone,” an insider tells Life & Style. “So he was asked to leave. Now Cedric and Lisa aren’t speaking.”

And while it’s still unclear which of the Housewives will be back for a second season, Kyle says she hopes Camille does return! “I would like to see her come back and be on a different path,” Kyle tells Life & Style.

I will miss Sponge Bob Gay Pet in his skivies. It’s not like Mr. and Mrs VanderDump would go bankrupt or anything, since they have all that extra millions of dollars laying around and those other house pets. What’s one more gonna hurt?