Well, well, well, I am not surprised at the raunchy pictures this ho’ send to some men’s magazine. This is Alexis Bellino before she married Taliban Ass Jimbo. Bitch has a buttaface. No wonder the plastic surgeon that fixed her face couldn’t fix that bump on her nose or knock the fugly off her. These raunchy pictures look just like the shit that 2 dollar ho’s post on Craigslist.

And speaking of Craigslist her husband his unholy creepinest Reverend Jafar Jimbo owns some cheesey little motel in Laguna that he advertises on Craiglist for $195 a night. He calls it a ’boutique hotel’. But some website was saying it looks like office spaces and it had a for lease sign for a long time. Yea and he is advertising on Craiglist of all places he probably also rents it out by the hour to the Craiglist ho’s.

Jimbo seems to have some questionable binezz practices.  I am sure everyone read all about how his punk ass got in trouble with the feds for some counterfeit bullshit. I also read somewhere he used to own some restaurant called Margaritaville and it closed down he also closed down his pool table business.

FBI’s Operation Bullpen hooks network

SAN DIEGO – The FBI’s Operation Bullpen has infiltrated and dismantled a network of 20 forgers, authenticators, wholesalers, and retailers who are responsible for the creation and sales of up to $100 million of forged memorabilia, items that are both sports and nonsports-related. Twenty individuals, all from California, are cooperating with federal officials in pleabargaining agreements on a variety of fraud and tax charges.

And,

In addition, the FBI told Sweet Spot that the operations of the J. DiMaggio Company have been shut down. In addition a significant number of items that were known forgeries carried a certificate of authenticity attributed to Don Frangipani; and Robert Proudy and Jim Bellino of Forensic Document Services (FDS). Forged items were supported by fake or misleading authentication documents. However, no charges have been brought against the latter authenticators.

James Carlos Bellino owned Forensic Document Services located at 1115 N. Tustin Ave, Orange, CA.. According to the tip, federal prosecutors deferred prosecution, “a short hand way of letting Bellino off with almost $30,000 restitution, went on probation for a year, and got out of the sports memorabilia business”. The person who supplied the tip wondered if this Jim Carlos Bellino was the husband of Alexis Bellino, the newest housewife on Real Housewives of Orange County. According to the tipster, who had access to the deferred prosecution agreement and, a bankruptcy document involving Rectivity, a pool table company Alexis’ husband had ties to, the signatures are the same.

According to our source, the Jim C. Bellino indicted for mail fraud is Alexis’ Jim Bellino.

No wonder they go to that fake ass joke of a church for like 25 minutes once a week, the rest of the time Alexis and Jimbo spend it drinking excessively, cursing like sailors all while Alexis dresses like a 2 dollar church whore. Damn! Jimbo must have a lot of old, recent and present skeletons in the closet, that wreak like putrid guilt and he wants to hide them behind a Bible.  I bet more shit is going to come out on these two assholes.There is also some spewage about how they tried real hard to get into the RHOC :

“Alexis and Jim did everything they could to get on this show. They bought a house from Jeana and befriended her. They bought a car from Simon and befriended him. Alexis joined Gretchen’s gym and befriended her. They watched the show every week since it’s been aired and tried to get as many connections as possible. I do have to say, it worked. Though it was expensive! Fancy houses and luxury cars aren’t cheap. Hope they feel it is worth it.”

All this desperate bullshit to get Alexis on the show,  is ridiculous. And now there is this latest development that Alexis has 2 jobs and had to let go of one of the nannies.She posted on Twitter that she shouldn’t be judged . She should of thought about that before she joined the circus of ridiculous ho’s that is RHOC. She put her life out there for us to clown at, and that’s exactly what’s happening so deal with it.

I love it !

This is Alexis and Jimbo this last Valentines at Vegas where they partied with Gretchen and some other skanks . Is it just me or does this fat motherfucker look more fat and ugly each time we see him. Damn he’s fugly! Who the fuck would want to hit on his ugly fat ass??

And what the fuck is that whore wearing on her wrist? Is that like a writst version of an ankle bracelet that Jimbo put on her wrist so he can keep her on a short leash so she don’t end up wondering off in Vegas with another sugar daddy? I wonder if Jimbo has a remote control for that shit, so when Alexis starts acting up, he pushes a button and it gives her an electric shock like they do to Dobermans.

Alexis also went ape shit and threw a stomping crying hissy fit when she heard Wendy Williams tell Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens that her favorite housewife is Crazy Ass Vicki. I never thought I say this but seriously next to Alexis Crazy Ass Vicki seems normal. Also a viewer posted that stupid Alexis had an announcement on her fan page on Facebook, that she later deleted, that said if Bravo allows Pro-Vicki comments to be posted and quit censoring Pro-Alexis comments that she was not going to blog for them anymore. She throws a fit like a spoiled 8 year old. She thinks her shit don’t stink.

Bitch thinks that just because she is Alexis, that suddenly she is supposed to be everyone’s favorite ho’ because the world revolves around Alexis and when it ’s not about Alexis she cries. I would of love to see that Bitch crying and throwing a fit.

Alexis still under the delusion that just because she joined the RHOC she is going to come out smelling like lilles and roses but instead she is going to find out she is going to come out smelling like an Olympic size swimming pool of smelly wet orangutan shit. You can’t polish a turd!

Update check out what my reader Jen posted. Yes Jimbo is a loan shark. Check out this Craiglist link.

And this other one by my reader mzfuller on Radaronline.

Maybe there was a shortage of hotties to pose nude for the month of March or maybe Kelly payed Hugh Hefner a huge amount of money upfront to let her ruin the March edition of playboy. Well the good thing is that Kelly posing created a lot of overtime hours for  many talented graphic artist, that had to work pass midnight to photoshop the shit out of Kelly’s scary leathery ass.

Those poor graphic artist are now having to got through therapy from the traumatic experience of photoshopping Kelly’s bare huge circus tee ties. Each tee tie has it’s own zip code. Kelly’s ex husband was the only man brave enough to shoot those photos or maybe he is already desentized since he was previously married to her. Kelly says they dind’t shoot her crusty ass vagina,  but still, I hope Kelly taped her dick back real good too just in case something may hang out there by accident.Oh yeah, I forgot the traumatized graphic artist took care of that too.

(Source Huffington Post)

It appears that all the bleach on Tamra Barney’s hair must of somehow penetrated her skull, because she forgot that she had  admitted to Radaronline a few days ago, that she is dating this Eddie Judge character(who looks like his favorite disco song is ‘It’s Raining Men’) Tamra  flat denied to the OC register that her and Eddie  are dating. Radaronline reporter Alan Butterfield said AWW, HELL NO! And went and told the OC register that crazy Bitch was straight up lying because a few days ago, she admitted to them, that she was sleeping with this queen.  (Even with the bushy eyebrows I still think he’s gay and Tamra is paying him to pretend she is doing him, I don’t know we’ll see)

Here is what went down, from the OC Register:

Tamra denies that she and Judge are dating or are a couple. “We’re really good friends,” she said in an interview today. “I think he’s a wonderful person. He’s helped me a lot through this. If something does evolve, I’d be lucky.”

The Radaronline reporter, Alan Butterfield, called the Register back and said Tamra’s recent text messages indicate there is a relationship between Judge and herself. The messages went something like this:

Butterfield: How long have you been dating him?
Tamra: Since last week. We’ve been friends for a year.

Butterfield: Are you sleeping with him?
Tamra: Yes, since last week.

Aguardiente you are right her stockings do look like varicose veins. Her outfit also looks like the shit that the hookers in Tijuana wear at the cantinas. Very classy.

Thanks to reader Alex for the link.

The ink has not even dried yet on the divorce papers and this ho’ is already dating a new guy. His name is Eddie Judge and he was friends with Simon. Simon happened to run into them in Las Vegas. (what a coincidence!) And Simon  flipped out and fell to his knees  when he saw Tamra with another man. Security had to escort Simon out of the club.

Why is he tripping wasn’t he the one who filed for divorce? And I don’t know about that so called new guy. He doens’t convince me that he is into girls too much.

Here is the original article from Radaronline:

Don’t mess with Tamra Barney.

Stung by her husband Simon filing for divorce and accusing her of cheating during the marriage, she’s rebounded by dating one of his friends, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

The star of Bravo’s “Real Housewives Of Orange County” has hooked up with Eddie Judge and Simon, who calls it “the ultimate  betrayal,” found out about it the hard way – by seeing them together. And it was such a blow that Simon actually dropped to his knees, he told RadarOnline.com.

Simon was at the Hard Rock Hotelin Las Vegas on Saturday night and thought Tamra was back in Los Angeles. When Simon arrived at the club around midnight he got quite a shock.

“I walked in and I saw Tamra with a friend of mine, Eddie Judge,” Simon told RadarOnline.com. “I saw them holding hands and acting like a couple.

“As soon as Tamra saw me she let go of his hand and walked away.

“I went up to Eddie  and asked him if he’s (bleeping) my wife.  He didn’t say a word.

“I  couldn’t believe what I had just witnessed — the ultimate betrayal by a pal and my estranged wife.

“I started to feel weak and feel to my knees. The doorman helped me and by the time I had regained my composure they both left to the other side of the club.

“I left soon after.”

Tamra confirmed to RadarOnline.com: “I started dating Eddie Judge last week.

“We started hanging out together more after my separation and one thing led to another. We had been friends for over a year.

“We are romantically involved, he is a great guy. It was bound to happen that we both we would dating again after he filed for divorce, it was going to happen sooner or later.

“I don’t know what the future holds with Eddie and only time will tell.”

Gretchen Rossi has recently told OK Magazine that the Tamra and Simon divorce may be a well thought out strategic  publicity famewhore stunt “…I guess well have to see if it’s really true,” Since Gretchen  don’t  want to talk about Tamra and wants to stay out of the drama she went on running her fat mouth: “because I wouldn’t be surprised if we see them next year back together and this was a whole publicity stunt.”

After Gretchen clowned on Tamra for her divorce she wished her well:

“I think divorce is a horrible thing for anybody and I pray that her kids can make it through, but at the same time… But if it is real I hope that they can get through it, but I just hope they are not trying to fool the world,”

 Then Gretchen went on to say she is only friends with that heffa Alexis:

“I chose to keep positive people in my life that are uplifting and those girls, except Alexis, aren’t like that and I really don’t have an ill word to speak about them. They are who they are and their true colors show and I just don’t care to really talk one way or the other about them,”

Gretchen also insists that her boyfriend Slade Slimey is a saint and a good father and  ignorant bitches can’t talk about him ’cause they don’t know him:

“It’s been really frustrating lately because people have so many negative things to say about him and it’s hard for me because he is one of the most amazing men I have ever met,” Gretchen gushes to OK!, “And it bothers me that the women have a comment about his children or how he is as a father when they have never even seen him around his children and they don’t know anything about the situation. It’s very ignorant…”

That Bitch also says: “I want to have kids of my own!”Yeah I’d like to see that bullshit in about 11 years after Slimey impregnated her ass, spend her money, and don’t pay child support.

Check out this video blog of Gretchen Rossi were her whole bullshit story contradicts itself; with the whole Jay, Jeff, goldiging cheating ho’ 3 ring circus thingy.

Once up a time Tamra Barney was ‘the hottest ho’ wife of Orange County’ Or at least that’s what she thought. I remember watching this ho’ and her car salesman husband (when he had a job) and thinking to myself.Car salesmen make that kind of money to afford the botox and implants bill for this bitch?

Suddenly the unthinkable happened. First Gretchen happened and Tamra got all pissed that she wasn’t the hottest ho’ anymore. Then Simon lost his job. There were so many rumors about how he lost his job last year, some of them posted on this blog. Check out this link. According to some of the rumors Simon was giving his female customers more than a discount under the table.

Then the Barneys lost their house because according to other rumors I heard they were fronting all their bling, and their million dollar mini mansion was refinanced so that they could afford their flashy lifestyle.(I kinda figured that after a couple episodes of watching this Bitch flaunt her faux riches and blowing money like she won the lottery)

And now after watching Simon this season episode after episode being completely irritated and disgusted with Tamra he files for divorce and tells this bitch he is done with her.

Apparently Tamra had moved out of the million dollar McMansion and into a 2 bedroom double wide apartment; but she didn’t know Simon was getting ready to give her the boot to the ass. In the divorce papers Simon accuses her of verbal bitch-smacking and being a cheating ho’. Radaronline.

And I thought she wanted to hang around wholesome people? I guess Gretchen wasn’t the only ho’ having a side of Sancho on the side.

Bitch better hurry it up and find a suga daddy before the botox injections wear out and her wrinkles come back ten fold; and she ends up looking like a roadmap for the Oregon trail.

Poor Tamra her implants have seen better days. Alexis Bellino kinda reminds me of Tamra when she gloats about her wealthy 2 nanny lifestyle and her wonderful marriage that we all know is boollshiit. I be careful if I were Alexis, Jimbo already acts kinda disgusted with her the same way Simon has been treating Tamra in the last few episodes. She may be next.

Yep, today is my one year anniversary of talking smack on this insanity of a blog. This blog was created on a whim. One year ago today I was telling my husband about the housewives and Gretchen and Lynne and their shenanigans and he gave me this look like ’what are you talking about?’ He wasn’t familiar with the Real Housewives reality wreck, and I didn’t expect him to be.

Then he was kinda teasing me over watching reality TV shows and next thing I know I told him ‘I’m going to create a blog about it’ and he said ‘knock your self out!’  then I came up with the name at the spur of the moment, and it’s been my after work dirty hobby ever since; the rest is history. Now even my husband reads this blog and my teenage daughter watches the Housewives and clowns on those bitches with me. (She also used to make fun of me watching reality TV shows).

So thank you all that read my crazy rants!

And here is some cheesey collage…

Happy New Year Bitches!

Joker Face Danielle Staub and Slade Slimey’s brother from another mother Jon Gosselin were spotted hanging out and dancing at New York nightclub, Tenjune Tuesday night.

What else do you expect from these two fucktards? Of course they gonna hang out together they both are scandalous, super whores with itchy crotches.

Check out this video from TMZ. When the TMZ guy asks Joker Face if she was hanging out and partying with Jon Grosselin she answers all giggly ” um… perhaps” then she says ” a little dancing, socialicing”. And you know the bitch was getting all blushy because she was probably flirting with douche Jon.

Then the TMZ guy asks Joker Face if she would date Jon and she says he is too young for her. Wasn’t she blowing that 26 year old guy? Maybe Jon Grosselin only had $15 bucks on him that night and that’s all he could pay her for the night;and she don’t want to see him again because he is broke.

When  Douchey Jon Grosselin comes out of the watering hole, the TMZ guy says “happy holidays” to Douchey and Douchey is all pissed off. Then the TMZ dude starts to banter him about hanging out with the prostitution whore. And Douchey answers the exact way any man would answer anybody after paying a raunchy coke whore for sex, he says all shady ” I can’t say anything” the TMZ dude just keeps fucking with him and says to Jon “that sucks man!”. Then Douchey just stands there like a dumb ass for a few seconds babbling some shit about not talking about the Hailey Glassman thing.

The conversation between the TMZ guy and Douchey starts to get boring. Then out of the blue the TMZ guy asks Douchey “did you buy any weed?” And then I don’t know exactly what happened . Perhaps some weed exchange?

Next thing I know the TMZ guy is offering Douchey his extra weed and Douchey has his hands in his pocket all suspicious like some weed exchange was going on. I don’t think the TMZ guy is stupid enough to give Jon his weed he was just fucking with Jon. That TMZ crew sure likes to screw with the famewhores . God bless those TMZ bastards!

Hey Robinbeau! Happy New Year!

HA HA HA HA !

With all the White House Reality TV bullshit surrounding  Real Housewife of DC hopeful Michaele Salahi and her husband I decided to give them a break and post the recap on The Real Housewives of OC’s last episode since there was no new episode of the OC Bitches last week since it was Thanksgiving. (I think that’s why they didn’t have a new episode)

So here it is Bitches:

Gretchen and Slade visit a hotel called Valley Ho’ where they cater to Ho’s and because Gretchen is the biggest Ho she was sure to have a good time. When Gretchen walks up to the front desks she tells the front desk her last name is Ho’. Because it is.

Gretchen and Slade go to some party / sex rave orgy at the Valley Ho -tel and they dry hump on the dance floor in front of everybody.

Gretchen and Slimey kept on dry humping each other throughout the whole camera time specially at the party where Gretchen humped the pole while hitting  on a Betty Page look-alike Ho’; then she bragged about how much dick she gets from Slimey on a daily basis and how Slimey has helped heal the grief of Jeff’s death by filling in the hole in her sadness.YEAH I BET!Then it got really gross TMFI so I had to walk away.

The new housewife Alexis Bellino makes her first official appearance she joins her husband greasy pawn shop owner Jimbo at a restaurant. Then Alexis and Jimbo get all preachy and say they have the best marriage ever; and God is first and their kids are last and blah, blah, blah. Jimbo says it is the best marriage ever because he has that Bitch trained.

While having lunch at the restaurant, Jimbo demonstrates how to have a successful marriage by scolding  Alexis in public and national TV, over mothering her son too much, and Jimbo tells her that her son ‘is working’ her, whatever that means. Then Alexis tries to explain herself; but Jimbo  bitch smacked her  to shut up, in front of everybody and their mama. Alexis tries to hold back her tears then she remembers her tear holes where sowed shut during her last face surgery. Jimbo is satisfied he put  Alexis in her place; and let the whole world know who is boss in that relationshit. Misspelled on purpose.

Jimbo tells Alexis, she may order the most complicated margarita in the world to reward her for shutting up before he had to get more violent with her in public. Alexis immediately orders her margarita and forgives  Jimbo for bitch-smacking her in public.When Alexis orders food is just a nightmare she does it because she needs to release all the pinned up aggression she holds in; from putting up with Jimbo’s  violent outburst so bossing around and driving service workers crazy sure helps her cope with  it.

The housewife competition.

Tamra invites Jimbo and Alexis to a family barbecue and Tamra is spilling with jealousy did you all see when Simon said that the Bellinos are better looking than them and Tamra was furious  that Bitch looked like she was about to fart a  monster green turd of jealousy.Tamra glared in jealousy at Alexis and Simon was also fuming in jealousy. Tamra finally learned what an 18 carat gold ring looks like. Alexis makes Tamra say it is so frustrating to see another couple in a great relationship since hers and Simon’s went to shit.

Next we see Alexis at Tamra’s house swimming in a skimpy ittty bitty bikini with her porno size watermelons hanging out for all to see.  Tamra is wearing a mummu and looking at Alexis with the big evil green eye monster spilling out of her eyes and pores, then she admits that she has jealousy issues towards Alexis and her marriage to greasy Jimbo .

Tamra goes to Jeana’s house to bitch smack her into showing up to the lingerie party and Jeana tells Tamra to apologize to poor Gretchen because Jeana drank the  Gretchen Kool aid, made with Gretchen’s and santan’s piss in a martini shaker, that one  night they had sex.

Jeana says she is tired of the drama with all the bitches she is over those ho’s and this is her last episode. All of Jeana’s children including her ex-husband are under one roof right now and Tamra can’t believe that Jeana’s ex is  living with Jeana, and Jeana’s passive aggressive ass has not killed his drunken ass while he is sleeping  yet. This is back when Jeana’s ex-husband got arrested for a DUI.

Then  Tamra calls Gretchen a pathological liar just like Sheree called Kim. All those Bitches call each other a pathological liar. Jeana keeps saying that Tamra needs to apologize and Tamra says that Jeana is the type of girl to fart in the room and walks away… who does that?… Bitch! Well Tamra, apparently Jeana does that!

A lingerie party is arranged so that these bitches can get together and prance around in their underwear get drunk and fight, because that’s what they do best. But surprisingly nothing comes of it. Tamra and Gretchen start talking to each other again with the knives hidden in their hands behind their backs ready to stab each other any minute trailer-park style.

Alexis is not allowed to try on lingerie even if she can hide inside the dressing room with just her husband there because that is not their reality. But it was their reality earlier when she was wearing that itty bitty bikini at the family get togueter where she had it all hanging out for all to see, in front of children and everybody’s grandpapi.

Slade thrashes on Vicki and says that she works too hard and doesn’t get to enjoy her time with her family, yeah well maybe his ass should learn from crazy ass Vicki who is crazy as hell but at least the Bitch bustes her ass to have money and put her kids through college. Plus crack is costly! Slimey can not even get a job at KFC to help pay for his ill son. Deadbeat.  And What kind of bunk crack is he smoking anyways when he says that Vicki doesn’t enjoy her time with her family or some shit? Crazy ass Vicki goes to all kinds of cool places like Italy and sky diving and picking up random gigolo’s at  Tijuanian bars to fill her love tank.  That’s why she is always hollering her famous “WHOO OHH” Just like a wild goat on crack with a blonde wig on. Because that’s what she really is.

After the acid kicked in, Gretchen giggles annoyingly throughout the whole row of scenes with Slade at the Ho’ – tel.

Gretchen admits that Slade is a broke ass dead beat loser and only good for one thing. Slade says he wants to make babies with Gretchen and get his vasectomy reversed so they can get on welfare once the Jeff money runs out. Gretchen laughs at Slade and says she is not having children with Slade and he is DELUSIONAL! If he believes that’s gonna happen. Then she tells Slade that she got accustomed to the high end lifestyle while with Jeff and that’s why Gretchen says that the minute her next suga papa comes along she will dump Slimey since he is just a fill in. Pun intended! Slimey says he don’t care Gretchen don’t want to have his babies since he will just suck Gretchen out of the Jeff 2.5 million before he can impregnate that ho’ anyways. These fucktards are made for each other.

Slade starts gossiping with Gretchen about Vicki and calls her Ficky and a two faced back stabbing beotch .Slade keeps talking shit about Tamra and Vicki and says that Tamra needs to get a rat hair flea infested weave just like Gretchen did.

Next we visit Lynne and her family packing their shit since they got the boot from their rented beach house, Lynne tries to lie and says that their lease was up because this is how Bravo wants us to believe it went down when we all know their ass got evicted  because Lynne is gonna use the money for mother/daughter plastic surgery .

These dumb asses are such bad actors, you can tell they look all exhausted, embarrassed  and bummed out because that was around the time they had nowhere to go, and Bravo  had to put them up in a hotel. They have not even showed the eviction portion yet which I am sure will come at the  end of the season because they wants us to think that it was all the landlords fault and that they were leaving anyways due to their lease being up but not being evicted! HOW WEAK! Bravo really thinks we are that stupid!

Then we see the two bobble head blondes  Alexis and Gretchen work out on the bikes and catch herpes together. Gretchen warns Alexis of  Hurricane Vicki’s wrath. Alexis is scared.

Kara accuses her brother of having sex on her bed with random hookers then she confronts Shane about his sexuality and asks him if he ever told a woman that he loves her. Shane tells Kara the only woman he ever told that he loves was his moma Jeana.Kara tells Shane to cut the shit and come out of the closet. Shane says his mom is dating a lot of his friends dads and that he knows where they live in case he has to kick their ass. Jeana says fuck this shit I am leaving this bullshit ass show. And so we say good bye to Jeana the original Mama Dog.

Finally, we see Vicki meeting Alexis for the first time and Alexis says I was shocked because Vicki didn’t have fangs. Vicki says she is going to be nice from now on …Yeah we’ll see how long that last.