The hell with all the other House Skanks, they can all fall off the end of the earth and rot! BECAUSE THE NJ SKANKS ARE BACK!!!! And they didn’t even need Joker Face because there is enough drama in Teresa’s family to make everyone glad they’re not related to any of these savages.
After watching this first episode, I felt like my ass had to go to confession because this was some fucked up shit that I shouldn’t be watching and on top of that enjoying and my ass doesn’t go to confession. As a matter of fact I haven’t been to confession, since that one time they kicked me out of mass because I bursted into flames and they told to never come back to church again. EVER.
We open the episode with Teresa and husband Barney Devito plus their little daughters arriving at a Teresa and Barney’s nephew’s Christening who happens to be Melissa and Joe Gorga’s youngest son. Joe Gorga is Teresa Giudice’s younger brother who also happens to hate her and thinks she is ‘gaw-baige‘. And it all seems to stem from Teresa and Melissa hating and competing on each other.
Meet Melisa Gorga, married to Teresa’s little brother Joe Gorga. Melissa is just like the God Mother Caroline said another Teresa! Spoiled, obnoxious, stuck up, loud, living in a Cathedral made of marble and questionable money with 2.5 kids all complete with the Neanderthal husband with low forehead who looks like he has no problem ‘slapping his bitch down’ if she questions why he came home with lipstick on his pants, reeking of ass and feels cleaning is ‘women’s work’ like he instructed his young impressionable son.
It seems that Bravo keeps finding crazy bitches that are more ridiculous than the last one we clowned on. And so far Melissa Gorga makes Camille Grammer seem like a nice lady. Plus Melissa’s creepy ass, violent scary husband makes Barney Devito look like a nice guy. Bizarro!
Teresa and Barney arrive at the party, which is already in full swing in all it’s tacky Guido glory, crawling with gangs of hairy, loud, drunken-men with open silk, reject-porn-star, shirts and huge gold chains. All the bitches are dressed like casino prostitutes, with twenty-pound hair that can be dangerous and combustible from the gallons of super-hold AquaNet in it.
The decorations include, unnecessarily huge sculptures of crosses, pricey paintings of the baby, and there’s food galore. The alcohol bar is flowing freely through the party resulting in everyone being drunk off their ass. Teresa’s brother appears to have already been drinking for a while that day, plus possibly snorted some coke because the fucker is hostile and ready to fight.
Teresa and Barney appear to be uncomfortable and walking on eggshells when they enter this party and Barney doesn’t want to be there. Teresa asks Barney if his stomach is feeling okay and he answers something with a gibberish mumble.
Joe Gorga is at the popular kids table with Melissa next to him as prom queen. He is surrounded by his posse and he is pounding the hooch non-stop, and loudly preaching some drunken spewage about how his kids are his ‘world’.
Teresa is sitting at another table with Barney Devito and tells him she is going over to say ‘hello’ to her family. You can tell that bitch is nervous and even though she is trying to be nice by saying ‘hello’ to her brother who is by now at his peak of being super lit, he crushes her and disses that bitch in front of everybody and their grandma including his niece little Gia, when his crazy ass flips out on Teresa and calls her ‘garbage’. Barney Devito jumps on his ass, and a big ass brawl breaks out.
We go back to one week earlier. Barney Devito no longer works in the e-jem, ‘construction businesses’. He is now working in a pizza parlor and miraculously him and Teresa can still afford the gaudy seventeen bedroom mansion.
Teresa says during her camera interview that her and Barney Devito just went through a bankruptcy. More like they are still going through it. That’s why they have Barney Devito working twenty seven hours a day and Barney complains about it. But, Teresa thanks God, because her ass doesn’t want to have to move to one of those ‘linoleum floor suites’ above the pizza parlor . So she is ‘pounding the pavement’ and whoring her Skinny Italian book because ‘mama has to bring home the bacon.’
The pizzeria is packed and Teresa seems to be having a book signing there that very night. She is very happy that people are bringing her crosses and all kinds of religious items to help her get through her bankruptcy. And also keep the vampires away. Jacqueline says that while Teresa’s family sucks and they don’t support her she is there to support Teresa and so is Caroline.
Caroline’s son’s Albie and Christopha’ have leased a nice chick-magnet, party-pad, with a great view of the water in Hoboken. Now I am not from the East coast, but my guess is that a nice place like this one costs around 3k. So I bet that mom and pop are footing the bill. Caroline is still having a hard time cutting the cord and when she finds out her youngest son is also moving out she says is a stab in her heart, plus she is bummed that she started out with three children at home and now she has only one left and that one doesn’t even count! Lauren looks pissed.
Speaking of children trying to move out of their parents’ house. We learn that professional weave-puller Ashley has now gotten a job at a PR agency for some crazy, seventy- pound, crack-head looking woman who looks like she has been up all nigh on meth-binges for the past six months with no sleep.
This scary scare-crow is none other than Lizzie Grubman. Who back in July of 2001, drove her Mercedes SUV into a crowd of people outside a nightclub at the Hamptons, after yelling “Fuck you, white trash”. How did this skank avoid going to prison? I don’t know!
Turns out Ashley is a un-paid slave (Lizzie needs every dollar she can get to buy that meth that’s shit costs money!), and free advertising on this trashy show for this lovely lady who more than likely asked Ashley to bring her NJ House Skank mom with the camera crew in-tow. Ashley is obviously overdressed for her unpaid slave job, she is wearing some hooker stilettos and I am surprised she doesn’t fall on her ass.
The most bizarre thing happens when Lizzie starts talking to Jacqueline about how Ashley is doing in her job. The whole thing emulates a teacher talking to the parent about the child’s grades during parent teacher night. Lizzie complains to Jacqueline about how Ashley is lazy and she hardly ever shows up to work.
Ashley comes up with lame excuses about not having bus fair and expecting her mom and dad to pay for that shit. Stupid Ashley gets all pissed and whinny when her mom tells her to grow up and get a job. Then she storms off into another room to cry while Lizzie goes to comfort her. Lizzie continues kissing ass to Ashley to get herself more camera time and makes a comparison of herself and Ashley. She tells her ‘I swear, you’re like are a carbon copy of me… without the, you know violence’. Well I guess I must be stupid because running over people with an SUV must not count as violence.
It’s funny how Ashley blows up at her spineless mom, but when that tweeker bitch initiated the whole thing by telling Jacqueline how lazy Ashley is, she didn’t even blink at her over it.
The whole thing is very awkward. Jacqueline is upset that Ashley ran off to cry and didn’t want to talk like an adult. But not even ten minutes later Jacqueline runs off when Chris is lecturing Ashley and he interrupts Jacqueline so she throws a tantrum also. I wonder were Ashley learned to throw tantrums like that?
Teresa and Jacqueline hang out together and take their children out for a play date at some park. Teresa confides to Jacqueline how her relationship with her younger brother Joe deteriorated after he got married to Melissa. Teresa says that before Melissa came in the picture Teresa and her brother used to be real close and when Joe married Melissa Teresa was hoping her and Melissa would become sisters.
But, Melissa blew her off since she has sisters of her own, who are older than her and are a mixture of Patty and Selma from the Simpsons and the evil stepsisters in Cinderella. Damn those bitches are vicious! They also happen to hate Teresa. Melissa seems to find blame on Teresa for anything stupid including bitching about making a lame excuse to not attend Teresa’s book signing because she wasn’t invited. All these people are petty!
Teresa insist that she had no idea her and Barney Devito were going through bankruptcy until he told her ass she couldn’t shop at Chanel but instead had to shop at the dollar store. ‘Conservative’ Teresa can’t throw the big wasteful parties anymore and with Barney Devito working at the pizzeria for minimum wage it must be hard to afford it.
Next Melissa drives her SUV and brags about her plush life that we all wish we had . She blabs out in a stuck up tone: ‘I tend to be very spoiled, so what?’ . When these bitches brag they curse their own faux-life styles. Real old money doesn’t brag. But these bitches are wanting to rub it in your face every five seconds. That’s why their shit gets foreclosed and bankruptcies exposed. So Melissa doesn’t realize it yet but she just cursed her own shit, by bragging like that on TV. She better get ready for the public bankruptcy and foreclosure circus that will be landing on her house next.
After that brief little introduction we see a gross scene where Melissa calls her husband the other Joe and asks him to lotion up her toes and then he ends up french kissing them. Then he wants to lotion her ass on national TV. Maybe they’re willing to compete with Tamra’s nasty bathtub scene. After that disgusting scene that I dind’t need to see Melissa brags about her domestic bliss.
Five minutes later her husband bitches her out for giving the children baths but not him. He nags her for ignoring him. So much for being a ‘whore in the bedroom’.
Melissa also makes sure we know she is the queen winner of the competition between her and Teresa of the tacky mansions because hers is 15,000 square foot, and way more tackier. Melissa’s husband surprised her with the blue prints of this fan-tacky-lar castle and since he is a very successful developer, in the booming real state economy that for some mysterious reason is only booming for these people in NJ. He was able to spare no expense for this monster mansion.
Melissa praises her husband’s work ‘ethnic’ and we all get to see him using his wonderful work ‘ethnic’ when he yells at the workers transporting the heavy flower planters.
Then Psycho Joe calls his wife his ‘ hero’. But two seconds later in another scene, when Melissa instructs her son to help her clean up, Psycho Joe tells the boy to go play football with him instead, because he doesn’t have to help his mom clean up because ‘that’s for the women’. Lovely.
Melissa just sits there and doesn’t say anything to Psycho Joe about that little cave-man comment. Melissa also has the tendency to constantly thank ‘Jesus’ for this and that. She’s gotta be the Guido version of Alexis Bellino.
Next we get introduced to Kathy who is coming over to Melissa’s for lunch . She is Psycho Joe and Teresa’s cousin. Psycho Joe and Teresa’s father is Kathy’s mother’s brother. And Kathy is also in bad terms with Teresa. Right when they all sit to have lunch the conversation turns to Teresa. Psycho Joe complains and moans about Teresa choosing a new fake TV family called ‘Caroline and Jacqueline’. Kathy says she can’t believe Teresa acts like nothing happened with all that 11 million dollar bankruptcy scandal and she states that if she was Teresa she would be too embarrassed to leave the house. That’s fucked up but true!
Melissa and Joe apparently are very resentful because even when they were invited to the Teresa and Barney Devito events they were supposedly ignored.
We get to see more of Kathy and her life. We learn that she is married to a non-Italian. She has two children one who likes to play with knives in bed. And she likes to go shopping on her beach cruiser while drunk off her ass she also enjoys landing on her face when the groceries tip her bike over.
Of course Kathy does her part in pushing the ‘family first’ campaing against Teresa and she says something so stupid is funny about how families fights and how her and her sister fought the other day and she may of even pulled her sister’s hair and later they made up by having dinner together. Kathy tells it so cute so is not even an issue. The way she explains it makes it so okay for families to get into nasty ass fists fights while the children witness it, but it’s all okay because they are family so being in a domestic violence situation is perfectly acceptable because they are family and Kathy explains it so cute so it’s okay.
And now let’s check in with the Manzo clan who are preparing their version of a Southern meal complete with burned biscuits and chili. Christopher is practicing ‘Cajun’ gibberish. He must love King Of The Hill. The whole Manzo clan is having a good time and they are all pitching in to cook a nice Southern meal. Caroline thinks no one in the world knows how to make pasta. Some people grew up surfing, eating tacos and making pasta tortillas. She’ll be surprised what’s out there. But it’s nice to see they are trying to expand their horizons by cooking non-Italian. Christopher says he wants to be Southern really bad because they are better at everything. The God-Mother demands of her eldest son to watch her baby when they move out.
It’s nice to watch people interact joking and without drama, for a change. But anyways enough of the happy crappy family stuff although it is nice, it gets boring after a minute or two, I wanna see the bitch slapping circus of crazy . If I wanna see happy and non-eventful I will just hang out with my husband, my daughter and my cat on Sunday and cook Lasagna-Enchiladas. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be Mexican-Italian.
So let’s jump right onto the crazy and it all begins at Melissa’s mansion. It’s early morning and Psycho Joe is already drinking.Who knows how many lines of coke he did too while the cameras where not around. Melissa and her evil sisters are also already sipping on champagne before going to the church. Her sisters specially Lysa have that look in their eye like they are hoping and ready for a fight with Teresa.
Meanwhile in the other tacky mansion Teresa is getting ready, her children are running around screaming and crying. Little baby Adrianna tries her luck at running away from home and away from her crazy relatives. She was planning to run as far away as she can all the way to Southern California, lose the NJ accent, and become a surfer girl. She almost succeeds but when she gets to the top of the grand staircase she damn near takes a dive. But the make-up artist Daniel, ruined her plans to run off.
Teresa is bitching and whining that her hair and makeup girl she’s been using forever, is over at none others but Melissa’s house. But isn’t this guy Daniel over here also doing hair, can’t he do her hair? Wait here’s a concept why can’t she do her own damn hair! I don’t understand, maybe Teresa doesn’t know how to use a curling iron or maybe only the other hairstylist that Melissa kidnapped is the only one that can deal with Teresa’s King Kong hair when it’s not combed. I don’t know.
The Gorgas as well as the Giudice’s are always at each other’s throat’s constantly and suspicious of each other even over the most trivial, insignificant things that would be unnoticeable to other people. Barney Devito becomes suspicious immediately that Melissa may be holding the hair and makeup girl hostage, to prevent her from showing up at Teresa’s house on time therefore making Teresa late for the Christening.
Camera switch over to Melissa, who is holding up the hair and makeup girl longer by forcing her to shower her 40 pound curls, in 250 gallons extra of Aqua Net super-hold. Teresa should of just showed up to that party with a lighter and the minute Melissa and her sisters Bertha and Brunhilda started with their shit, she should of just lit those bitches up and they would of gone up in flames like a Roman candle. Little Psycho Joe would of gotten hurt too, sitting in such close proximity to his wife, and with all the barrels of alcohol he consumed that night his ass would of just exploded. Teresa then could of just sat there looking dumb like she always does, acting like she had no idea what just happened.
Gia is going to her gymnastics competition and missing the Christening because if she misses practice she will be kicked out. Barney Devito is walking around scaring everybody with no shirt on. Gia tells him to put a shirt on! YEAH PUT A SHIRT ON QUIT SHOWING OFF FOR THE GYMNASTICS INSTRUCTOR!
Teresa sees this as an opportunity to pimp him out to the gymnastics instructor and yells ‘come on juicy Joe show us your muscles!’. Yep, that bitch is trying to make a buck any way she can. That mansion it’s expensive! At least she is learning ‘work ethnic’. In your face Melissa!
Barney Devito finally puts a shirt on because the gymnastics instructor left. Thank God!
The hair and makeup girl finally shows up and Teresa chews her out for not leaving Melissa’s house earlier. The hair and makeup girl says there was no way she could escape. But surprisingly this one doesn’t tell Teresa all the shit she heard while helping Melissa and the whale sisters get ready. Because ya’ all know damn well she heard a lot of shit!
Barney Devito is walking around in a dirty Walmart shirt and hanging around the garage. He also claims he has the explosive chorro and can’t make it to the Christening. Or so he says. Teresa is starting to feel sick and believes she caught the Hershey Squirt explosives from Barney Devito, and when she gets the runs is no joke. So all these shenanigans were going on and whether real or imagined these difficulties were preventing the Giudices to get to the Christening on time.
Barney Devito decides to stay home with the runs, and asks Teresa to pick him up later to go to the reception. Teresa agrees because she doesn’t want Barney Devito to accidentally shart at the church.
While Alexis I mean Melissa, is driving to the church with her children. She says something so disturbing in so many levels when she asks the baby if he is ‘ready to go to Jesus’ Kingdom.’ That sounds not right in so many ways and twisted on so many levels.
The subject turns to Psycho Joe and Teresa’s dad who is having heart problems. Melissa says that her husband hates Barney Devito for stealing his daddy from him. According to Psycho Joe’s claims, Barney Devito hangs around Psycho Joe’s dad all day and drinks with him, then he puts negative shit in grandpa Gorga’s head about Psycho Joe being a bad son because he is at work all the time. And Psycho Joe is hurt that Barney Devito stole his father from him because he ‘wants his father’. WHAT THE FUCK IS HE FIVE? THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE!
It sounds to me like these people just look for stupid things to nitpick at, and then blow them out of proportion! I’m sure grandpa Gorga knows that Psycho Joe has to work all the time and collect all the insurance money from the local businesses, while his thugs beat up the dead-beats that don’t pay on time. Psycho Joe should just be glad that Barney Devito is there for his dad getting drunk with him and watching Southpark. Let it go!. BUT NO! This goes deeper than this here and it’s all for the wrong petty reasons. On both sides I’m sure.
Melissa is also very pissed that Teresa and her family are not at the church. But, if she would have being there on time, I am sure the brawl would have started at the church in front of God and everybody. So she should be thanking Jesus the brawl took place at ‘The Manor’ and not at the church.
Teresa misses the Christening gets to the church late, walks right to her brother and says ‘congratulations’ then kisses the baby. Melissa continues to gripe about Teresa not being to the church on time and says that she doesn’t know if she showed up before the Christening or after. However, she is on time for the reception.
Melissa says she is not surprised Teresa missed the Christening, but not the reception because “That bitch will never miss a party, especially when someone else is paying.” That’s how Melissa and Psycho Joe knew for sure that Teresa would be at the party because she can’t resist the temptation and allure of a free party and once they trap Teresa at the party they can all corner her wail on her gang bang style Barney Devito too . It’s the perfect plan. Melissa even attacks little Gia for not ditching her gymnastics practice to go to the Christening. All in the name of ‘family first’. This is how this gang rolls.
We get to see a clip of Psycho Joe and Melissa plus all their children enter the reception hall. Psycho Joe advices Melissa to cause ‘no drama’. That is so ironic coming from his ass because of what takes place next.
The party is going on and Melissa is bragging about how she spared ‘no expense’. Once again we get to see all the crosses and lavish tapestry of tackiness that even the cakes have crosses. Looks like money can’t buy you good taste either. At least if a Vampire decides to crash this party they will all be protected.
Oh yeah and both Melissa and Teresa remind us of how they have another competition going over who throws the most lavish parties and who had more guest. Teresa claims over 200 guest at Adrianna’s Christening Quinceanera last season. Which is 50 more than Melissa is claiming. These bitches have to keep obsessive tabs on this type of petty shit. It’s important to them.
Teresa arrives at the reception dragging Barney Devito with her. Meanwhile inside the banquet hall Melissa and her sisters continue their shit-talking campaign on attacking Teresa and Barney. Melissa’s sisters assumptions are right on spot though about how Barney didn’t want to show up and Teresa had to go back and drag him with her. I wonder if Teresa was also confiding this info to the evil sisters or did someone else leaked it?
When the Giudice’s arrive it turns up the tension. Psycho Joe, Melissa and apparently everyone else in that clan have already prepared the wooden cross and nails needed when Teresa and Barney Devito show up because nothing those fucktards can do is right.
Psycho Joe offers Barney Devito a drink, but Barney Devito turns it down due to his stomach issues which he explains. Psycho Joe is of course quick to jump the gun and since everything Barney Devito does in his eyes is the wrong thing, he gets a boner because this gives Psycho Joe another excuse to start a fists fight with Barney Devito in the near future. Psycho Joe is happy to have something this awesome to look forward to; like a normal psychopath in his situation would.
But, for now the shit-storm of crazy is just forming and simmering waiting to boil over. And that won’t take long because Psycho Joe is pounding those shots of hard liquor that are helping him get there quicker.
Kathy and her husband also have issues with Teresa and even little Adrianna doesn’t like to be held by her uncle Rich. Teresa accuses Rich of being nosy and telling her not to spend her husband’s blood cash on national TV. Poor Rich was just trying to be a nice guy and help her, but Teresa didn’t want to listen to him and told him to blow it out his ass instead. And now she is 11 million dollars in bankruptcy debt.
Seventy five percent of the time these people where at this party, partying, all they did was talk about Teresa and Barney Devito.
Kathy’s husband Rich tried to talk Psycho Joe into making up with his sister the best way he knew how and it took a lot of skill and walking around egg shells to not make Psycho Joe blow up. But Psycho Joe was leaning more towards keeping the grudge going and grinding the ax more, so he wasn’t listening to Rich.
Psycho Joe explains during his camera interview how he can’t stand his sister and her drunken husband who doesn’t work, and blah, blah, blah, plus all the same tired spewage that Melissa was bitching about earlier. Psycho Joe also brings up how Teresa doesn’t include him and his wife in events and is competitive with his wife. All this petty shit.
Psycho Joe tries to convince us in his most psychopathic tone, how even though he wishes to bury his sister and her husband alive and put them to sleep with the fishes he cannot ignore the children. We learn that Psycho Joe became God-Father to Gia back when him and Teresa were in good terms. When Gia shows up to say hello to her uncle Psycho Joe, he assures her he loves her and she could never do any wrong in his eyes and he also reminds her that he would never do anything to hurt her.
The Gorga’s and their whole table which includes Melissa’s sister Lysa and her husband also name Joe, (I CAN’T KEEP UP WITH ALL THESE JOE’S) plus Kathy and her husband Rich spend their whole dinner continuing their endless obsession over Teresa and Barney Devito.
These fuckers have been drinking so much, their table looks like the dinning table at a college frat house after a Friday night. Psycho Joe tells Melissa he used to yell at her and beat her ass for not getting along with his family, but now she is allowed to react like a fuck-nut as much as she wants. He is allowing it. When everyone at his table tries to tell Psycho Joe to eat something because he is getting all excited he snaps ‘I’m talking!’. He is a loose cannon with a hair trigger. Plus that coke doesn’t help either.
Psycho Joe keeps rehashing and talking about Teresa and Barney Devito and so his tension build up and he enjoys it. Plus he is getting himself all pumped up, waiting, hoping and praying for a flying fists confrontation with Teresa and Barney Devito. So anything, and I mean ANYTHING either of them says to him can be used against them to start a brawl and unfortunately Teresa makes the mistake of walking over to their table and say ‘ hello’ and ‘congratulations’ to Psycho Joe and Melissa again. Which to a normal person it wouldn’t be an issue.
But since Melissa and Psycho Joe are not normal people, but rather talented people they both are able to somehow use their awesome talents to somehow turn the word “Congratulations” into fighting words.
After Teresa congratulates them Melissa accuses her sister-in-law of not congratulating them earlier at the church. Even though we all saw it and have footage! Psycho Joe sees this as his cue to blow up, and tells Teresa to walk the ‘fuck away you gaw-baige!”.
I bet Psycho Joe and Melissa’s evil sister Lysa, were the ones that snorted most of the cocaine they all did in the bathroom before the reception because that bitch was all happy when it was her turn to jump in and start attacking Teresa, when Teresa questions Psycho Joe’s reasons for inviting her and Barney Devito if he hates them so much. Lysa is lit and her eyes are popping out she jumps in and says with a malicious smile ‘IT WAS A TECHNICALITY!”
Teresa is shocked that Lysa is backstabbing her like this, when she has talked smack about her own sister Melissa when Teresa called her up to complain. And I bet Melissa was listening on the phone when Teresa was complaining and talking shit about her to her sister on the phone. That bitch Melissa and her sisters seem twisted like that. Watch how riled up and foaming at the mouth she is when she is screaming at Teresa ‘ONE SIDE DONT GET IT TWISTED! ONE SIDE!’ She has that vicious smile and her eyes are popping out. Mixing coke with all kinds of alcohol will do that. Same with Psycho Joe he is foaming at the mouth too. He just wants to punch Teresa.
Not even a full twenty minutes has passed and Gia’s loving uncle who promised Gia to never hurt her is foaming at the mouth pounding at the table about to flip it over, (it must run in that family) and calling her mother ‘gaw-baige!’ Totally scaring the fuck out of poor Gia who is crying and horrified trying to pull her mom away from her coked out drunken Psycho uncle Joe. I bet this little girl is gonna be telling a psychiatrist this in the near future.
Psycho Joe is going off on Teresa who surprisingly walks away while he is yelling and losing his shit over nothing. Barney Devito has been standing there the whole time witnessing his brother-in-law calling his wife ‘gaw-baige!’, so he deals with it the best way he knows how by running towards Psycho Joe yelling ‘ You’se sons of bitches!’ ready to tear Psycho Joe’s head off.
Barney Devito and Joe get pulled away from each other by the crowd of men and they don’t get to fight each other. But the brawl continues and by now coked out Psycho Joe is more pissed off and craving for a fist fight that even when his own wife Melissa is in the line of fire he just knocks her out of the way, with no concern, just like a true gangsta. And the bitch doesn’t act surprised because this must be a normal reaction from her husband in her household and also in social events.
The camera men gets knocked to the ground and you can hear Psycho Joe yelling ‘ I’ll fucking kill every one of yous!” and Melissa is yelling GET THE GUN GET THE GUN! Damn if that don’t remind me like some Quinceaneras in my old neighborhood same shit happened there. Suddenly and for no reason everyone jumps on some guy in a blue shirt who is getting beat up and you can see Melissa yelling and going chola all fighting and kicking all crazy and shit. Surprisingly Melissa doesn’t disclose whose ass they were all gang jumping on. So, I believe there is more to this little piece of footage that we will find out about later.
And it gets even better. Grandpa Gorga ends up damn near collapsing from the excitement that these orangutans caused and Psycho Joe gives the performance of his lifetime when he puts on his tiara and gown and cries to his papa about how he is jealous his dad hangs around Barney Devito all day.
For a minute everyone hated Teresa’s wild outburst and ignorant comments. Except for maybe me because I enjoyed how she chased after Joker Face like a mad cave-woman during hunting season, but then again I’m a sick puppy.
However, after seeing her drunken-ass, psycho, drama-queen, brother, waive his arms around and pound on the table like an ape with rabies, people are starting to understand why that bitch is so crazy. I even felt sorry for her and Barney Devito because the Gorgas topped them in the ghetto department and I enjoyed every sick second of it, of course. Except the part with kids crying that wasn’t cool. The whole thing was like a bad acid trip going insane. I’m surprised nobody got shot and the cops didn’t show up.
