It didn’t take long for Brooks Crooks to make the move from Missisipi to OC Cali to live as resident love-tank-filler/housebitch of Vicki Gunvalson. But, it also didn’t take long (I would think like 5 minutes tops) for him to get sick, fed up and tired of Vicki’s anal controling ways and not the type of anal that I’m sure Brooks was hoping for.

From Radaronline:

“He recently relocated to Orange County to be closer to her and that’s proven to be a complete disaster. He says he feels constantly irritated and annoyed by her and finds her possessive and controlling.”

Even though Brooks is already sick of Vicki’s controlling ways his ass is already addicted to the famewhoredom that comes with dating Icky Vicki, and enjoys all the attentions he gets from random ho’s when he makes appearances at super markets, whorehouses and massage parlors and shit like that. Yeah, hasn’t he realized that asshole bloggers are going to gang-punk clown on his ass and dig all of the dead bodies in his closet?

 Also, during the Wines By Wives event, gossipy witnesses revealed that Crooks and Vicki were NOT acting like the couple in love that Vicki is trying to pretend they are. Apparently, these two dipshits dind’t even arrive together to the event and Brooks was doing his rounds hitting on women and creeping them the fuck out:

“They didn’t arrive together,” the source says. “Vicki made some grand entrance in a Bentley while Brooks stood around in the crowd waiting for her. Then they were hardly together all night.

“Vicki stayed in one corner pretty much all of the night, holding court, while Brooks worked the room like a shark looking for his prey.”

“I saw Brooks hitting on several women and he seemed to be using pretty much the same old chat up line with all of them. A couple of the women spoke to me later and commented on how creepy he was.”

Was this creepo telling random bitches how much he loves them and their children, after two whooping minutes of knowing them?

Later on, when Brooks Crooks was probably already drunk off his ass and had a loose tongue he told a gossipy witness that he was sick of Vicki’s shit already. I bet the person he probably said this to, was some woman he was trying to pick up for an evening booty-call and that bitch ran to Radaronline to sell the gossip:

“Then, later in the night, Brooks told a friend of mine that he was sick of all of Vicki’s bullshit and that he was totally over her drama.

“I really don’t see these two lasting much longer.”

 How can someone who is supposedly so smart be so fucking stupid! I bet Brooks is going to rob this bitch  blind. I think it would be cheaper and more satisfying for Miss Alpha Female Independent Business Lady Vicki Gunvalson to just get a paid professional gigolo instead, at least they work out and are younger than this fat-ass, bloated, alcoholic unemployed loser Brooks who probably needs Super Viagra to fill her rusty Love Tank!

And now let’s move on to an ex-house skank that’s still trying to hang on to fame and like the flaming herpes refuses to go the fuck away. Lynne Curtin or Curtains flipped out on her dimwitted husband of 23 years (didn’t this idiot do this once before already?!) and told Radaronline she was filling for divorce from her husband. Except her husband didn’t know it yet but, she told Radaronline first so this way they can blind-side her husband and tell him the shenanigans she is up to.

From Radaronline:

“After more than 20 years of marriage Frank and I have decided to go our separate ways,”

“I love Frank but it was time to go out on my own.”

“I haven’t filed for divorce yet, but I’m going to be doing so soon,”

“Who knows what the future holds, but I’m looking forward to doing the things that I want to do,”

Did this bitch get evicted again? Because last time she threatened her oblivious husband with divorce it was because his ass was broke and not able to keep up the payments on their rented beach house, that this ho’ bragged up and down was their own home and since rent wasn’t paid on it because Lynn and her oldest daughter Raquel had plastic surgery they all ended up with their shit on the side walk and living out of their cars like dirty hobos. I wonder if she is threatening to walk because she had another face transplant and her husband Frank wasn’t able to keep up with her wild spending sprees and surgery addictions plus her Cuffs Of Whore line I heard wasn’t making any money.

This is what Lynne’s clueless husband Frank had to say about Lynne’s latest hissy fit, when asked for his reaction:

“It’s hard to even confirm it. How do you confirm something that you don’t want? It’s very heartbreaking for me. It’s painful to even talk about it,” Frank said. “I’m deeply in love with my wife. Business is so bad, it has caused a lot of stress in my relationship. I love my wife. She’s just not herself right now.”

“I’m not a willing participant in this. It hurts to even think about it or talk about it. Call me old-fashioned, but I take my vows very seriously.” The vow he is most likely referring to would be “for richer or for poorer.”

 Also recently on Watch What Happens Live! Tamra Barney revealed that the Curtain girls have long moved out and one lives with a boyfriend while the other with a grandparent.

 I feel sorry for Lynne’s dimwitted husband who is obviously so in love with her beef jerky ass he would die without her. I sure hope she gets over her bitch fit and takes him back, even if they both have to be beach-hobos together because I don’t think they can do any better than each other. Hang in there Frank!

My reader Helene send me a link to  a confusing drunken video on The Dirty. Where wild  pictures of ex- Real Housewife of Orange County, Lynne Curtin’s daughters where circulating  a few months past . Maybe they’re trying to get their own show ala Jersey Shore with extra sluttiness. 

So much for the youth counselor last season. Now it seems Raquel’s little sister Alexa is following her sister’s footsteps and are trying to out-slut each other. Supposedly these girls go to raves,dress like porn whores and drink like Irish sailors on payday. Plus, who knows how much synthetic drugs are handed out at those raves they party at.

I also found some very interesting comments from people that claim to know Raquel and about an abortion she supposedly had last year. I vaguely remember there was a rumor that Raquel was preggers and her boyfriend was the baby daddy. But I thought that was a rumor that came from an unreliable source. But who knows maybe there’s some truth to it.

Here is an interesting comment from someone on The Dirty:

tom says:

ewww saggy B cups!! LMAO nasty broke sl*t!!! hopefully she never has kids! I heard she had an abortion last year!!! My friend worked at a clinic she went to for the abortion. RAVES ARE LAME!!! GHETTOOOO get some class

Spoiler Alert! don’t read unless you watched the reunion!

Gretchen Rossi and Jeff Beitzel bullshit romance?

So a few days ago when Jay Photoglou yelled all over the Internet all about his breakup with Gretchen Rossi he had also mentioned that he was the one that called Tamra at 1am and so he mentions that this is the real reason Tamra was a bitch to Gretchen at Del Mar. However he didn’t want to specify all the juicey details of the phone call made to Tamra about how he was the boyfriend and all that other shit he told her and Simon. Jay said that he was the one who made the phone call and when asked what he said to Simon and Tamra he said that the truth was going to come out and so here it is the truth came out tonight!

I remember earlier on one of my crazy rants I had also posted that I suspected Gretchen being a paid caretaker for Jeff or some shit. But I can definitely see caretaker with handjob duties I can see that too! Yeah I see it. Unfortunately Mr. Beitzel probably didn’t get to enjoy much of that because he passed away last September.

In tonight’s bitch confrontation a lot of nastiness came out. Of course that dude I cant remember his name??? uhhh oh yea. Andy Cohen sat in the middle  to referee the whore cat fight in case the bitches started taking off their shoes and using them as weapons.

Andy started off by asking Gretchen on her fiances death and while Gretchen was giving her heartfelt sad story of how Jeff took his last breath our mean bitches Tamra and Vicki were giving each other looks like they were not buying the bullshit story she was selling. Like they knew something we don’t know about the whole fiasco.

Anyways, Andy really confronted Vicki and Tamra about being the mean girls and shows clips of the evil twins being bitches to Lynne and Gretchen. Andy tried to get Vicki to admit that she is an evil empress that eats popcorn out of a skull, but that bitch wouldn’t fess up and admit it. He kept trying to get her to admit she is a bitch to Lynne and no matter how hard he tried she wouldn’t admit it, she just kept saying that she is honest and kept stumbling on herself, also trying to explain herself and fucking it up as she went along!

Jeanna starts talking about her dad and how she was mean to him by asking him if he saw the rain, and then says that it was stupid of her to ask her dad that shit on the account that he is blind and cant see the rain, and then she says  that she had a”Lynne moment” and makes Lynne cry because she feels that she is tired of all the bitches calling her a stupid, airhead, pot head, space cadet retard.

Lynne had enough of all the bullying and of course instead of comforting Lynne Vicki punches her in the mouth after she is down and tells her she said mean things too and of course Lynne takes it. That bitch needs to grow a back bone and instead of crying should of started confronting bitches so its her fault for getting bullied.

Then we see clips of hurricane Vicki and how she treats Donn. Andy confronts Vicki on the whole Donn thing and Jeana says that Vicki has always treated Donn like shit pretty much. Andy tries to find out if Donn is keeping the love tank full. Whyyy do you want to know? Vicki didn’t know how to answer that shit so that means a big fat NO!  Need Viagra anyone?

Andy confronts Tamra about the etiquette party and the whole Gretchen thing they show the clip where she dry humps Donn. HO’! and they show all the juicey parts of naked wasted episode. Andy tells Tamra about all the hate email Tamra blames it on the drinking! Tamra’s response was “I’m a mean drunk!” Gretchen confronts the other bitches of trying to get her drunk  and that it was all them and that they got her drunk and that she cant remember shit and blah blah blah. She reminds me of an ex-boyfriend of mine with all those bs excuses!.

Gretchen doesn’t exactly take the responsibility that she was the one downing tequila shots she could of stopped if she wanted to I mean the bitch is 31 years old so its not like she is 16 or some shit , even Andy called her out on that shit and told her she is the bitch that was getting all drunk and nobody was forcing her ass!

Gretchen tries to say that Jeff would just love her anyways and would say its ok . What a crock of shit! HA HA HA ! she looked nervous and embarrassed and kept on trying to defend her actions and rationalize everything ! She was holding on to a bullshit rope and the more she tried to climb the rope to get out of the bullshit quicksand she was falling in, the more she was sliding inside the quicksand deep swamp of bullshit!

Tamra  straight up confronted Gretchen she was like the trash men or something taking all the trash out and brought up the whole love triangle thing out in the open and told about the phone call from 1am from Jay Photoglou the night before Del Mar when he told Tamra that he was Gretchen’s real boyfriend not poppa money bags and that she was paid by Jeff right after that if you pay attention Gretchen says some shit that this messes up her story? or is not relevant to her story? hu? did I hear that right? was this bitch telling on herself? and then Tamra agrees with that shit yeah!

Tamra continues confronting the shit out of Gretchen.

Tamra says what Jay Photoglou told her was that Jeff is a guy that Gretchen was casually dating  and the real boyfriend is Jay not Jeff Tamra told the whole thing and said that Jay told Simon that he was the true boy friend and the reason why Gretchen was worried about him calling then at 1am and telling the whole Jay , Gretchen and Jeff love triangle its because Gretchen was afraid the story was going to leak!. Then Tamra says that Gretchen told her the guy was a stalker.

Tamra confronts Gretchen about Bass Lake and asks Gretchen if Jay was there and Gretchen admits to it!

Gretchen looks embarrassed and you could tell the bitch was nervous she had this look in her face like she knew she got busted! and claims that this guy was just a stalker then after that he was a mutual friend at a party where everybody was drinking and she was driving him home and blah blah blah! and he made a move and she kicked him out of the car and then  instead of a stalker he suddenly was a family friend .

Tamra then starts to go on a rant about “moral character” since we all know the bitch is the pillar of moral character when she tried to get Gretchen Naked Wasted and seek pervy son Ryan Nugget Boy on Gretchen. I don’t know about you all but Tamra is starting to look kind of tore up and rode hard on the face she starting to look and sound some kind of a preachy old lady  the “Vickiness” is rubbing off on her. She also thinks people want to buy her toxic waste tetas online! EEEEEWWWWUUUUHHH!!! GROSS!

Busted Gretchen!

OOOh shit! this bitch couldn’t keep her story straight I know because she had that look in her face like I used to when I was a teenager and use to lie to my mom about shit I wasn’t supposed to be doing.

After that Gretchen kept trying to convinced everybody  she wasn’t fucking that guy and all this crap. You could tell she was pissed it leaked out and she was nervous even Jeana talked shit about Gretchen to the other bitches when she was all trying to be the diplomat and Tamra called her out also and said “you told us his clothes were on her bedroom floor” And Jeana got nervous! ohhh shit she did!

Gretchen got pissed at Jeana and also said to her some shit like what the fuck were you doing in my bedroom or some shit and Jeana was all trying to pretend like duh? she got all nervous and said to Gretchen some shit like we were all there in your bedroom and was all stuttering. OOh God it was funny! You bitches all know Jeana is all talking mad dog shit about Gretchen too . HA HA HA!!!

Tamra also accused Gretchen of stealing her “thunder” because she took all of Tamra’s style and the pink hats, and the pink Harley . HA HA HA! That’s the reason why her hair looked all thinned and weird during the reunion because she’s being pulling it out since Gretchen stole her “thunder”, and Vicki is the next one that’s being pulling her own hair out because Gretchen “stole” her “martini with blue cheese stuffed olives”.

She copied me! Jeez will these bitches ever get out of Junior High!

OOh I love it! at the end Andy presents the bitches with “The Real Housewives of Orange County ”Real” Tee” and then brings out a tray full of tequila I wonder if it was the Simon Tequila and tries to persuade Gretchen to get Naked Wasted again but this time she doesn’t fall for it.