On last night’s extra episode of the Real Housewives Of Atlanta we were taken deeper into the world of Sheree and Bob Whitfield’s child support drama.  This drama has been going on for quite a while now and Sheree swears up and down that Bob never gave her a dime to support their two children. Although Bob may not pay Sheree any child support Sheree did receive some funds  from Bob, just not in the way of child support checks Sheree was expecting. According to the post below, Sheree has received way more than what a lot of women who really can’t get ANY money from their exe’s get. For example a lump sum of $775k plus $113,422 yearly in retirement funds. That sounds like enough money to live comfortable without having to work for a while.

 Sheree’s child support saga goes back a few years, check out this old post I dug about the money she got from Bob:

According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Sheree Whitfield, a cast member on Bravo’s The Real Housewives of Atlanta, is appealing a settlement that included a lump sum of $775,000, as well as an annual $113,422 in her ex’s retirement funds and $2,142.87 in monthly child support. However, her divorce lawyers now say that her limited education and inability to earn income are a severe disadvantage compared to her wealthy ex-husband, who had a six-year, $30 million contract with the Atlanta Falcons. (Sheree Whitfield only has a high-school diploma, and her attempt to start a clothing boutique failed.)

The settlement did not include any spousal support, and the Georgia Supreme Court evicted Sheree Whitfield and the couple’s children from their $2.6 million homein Sandy Springs, GA, just north of Atlanta. EURweb.com reports her claim that she cannot afford to buy a new house in the neighborhood where the children have grown up.

Bob Whitfield’s divorce attorneys want the courtto fine his ex-wife $2,500 for initiating a frivolous appeal, according to EURweb.com.

“We are in the final stages of the divorce and the settlement,” the Real Housewives star recently told People. “I feel like I am single already because we have been separated for at least three or four years. I am just ready to do my thing and focus on me, my kids, my family, and friends.”

The Whitfields divorced in 2007 after seven years of marriage. Their two children were 11 and eight at the time.

Sheree Whitfield has appeared on The Real Housewives of Atlanta since the series began in autumn 2008. She is also trying to start a new clothing line called She By Sheree. Bob Whitfield, 37, played for the Falcons from 1992 to 2003 and announced his retirement from professional football in February 2007. He is now a guest NFL analyst for Sky Sports in the U.K.

A few seasons back I did a post on Sheree’s house evictions woes.   Also remember during this last episode, when Sheree was served by Bob he sued her for taking items out of his house that didn’t belong to Sheree. I wonder if he was referring to this house here:

A while back when Sheree first appeared on RHOA she was living in this lavish manor. Sheree claims her ex-husband Bob Whitfield stopped making the payments and Sheree and her children were assed-out on the streets.

Then, this woman named Sheila Rashad came to Sheree’s rescue, claiming she can help Sheree stay in the house longer.

After Bob refused to maintain and pay for Sheree and his two children’s home, Sheree was suddenly evicted. Sheree met Sheila Rashad through Bob’s mom back in 2008. RED FLAG!

On the last week of Dec 2008 Sheree got a notice to vacate by Feb 3rd. This occurred after her and Bob went to court.  Sheila told Sheree she could help her stay in the home for up to 6 months as long as she maintained the property. This Sheila chick conned Sheree into allowing her to supposedly communicate with the mortgage company in order to buy Sheree more time to stay in the home , but in the end Sheree and the children were forced to leave in a rush and Sheila went through the house and looted it of all the furniture and even bathroom fixtures!

This is what she told Freddy O’:

I met Sheila Rashad through Bobs mom. (seem like at set too me) and we began to occasionally communicate regarding business around Oct 2008. I then received foreclosure notice (last wk in Dec) saying that my house would begin foreclosure on the date of Feb 3rd. All this happened the week after Bob and I went into mediation in which he tried to renegotiate my settlement from the judge and offer me cash from the sell of the house that he knew he was losing because of nonpayment of the mortgage.

Sheila Rashad offered to help saying this is what she does for some of her clients and could help facilitate things and allow us to remain in the house for at least six months as long as I continued to maintain the property, paid a set amount and make the property available for agents to show. Sheila had me sign a fictitious form stating that I give her rights to communicate with the mortgage company. She continuously lied and said she had been communicating with the mortgage company and she had everything under control.

She called and said that the bank decided against my favor. And my kids and I needed to vacate the premises on March 6th instead of March 7th with all of my things in less than six days. It was impossible to clear out a 10,000 sq foot house in this amount of time. I moved what I could and left on March 5th. On March 6th I sent people to meet Sheila with the keys to the house, because she said that she was meeting the realtor and the sheriff. She instructed my people not to remove anything else from the house. My people then left

 The next day I happened to ride by the property and seen a Penskemoving truck in the driveway. I then got nervous and called a few friends who immediately ordered that I pull into the driveway to see hat was going on. Upon pulling up behind the truck I noticed kids playing withtoys I had left behind. I then seen the Mexican workers loading the truck, along with Sheila Rashad and her husband. I approached her and she began to say that I was trespassing and the sheriff was on the way and I needed to leave the premises. I left and called my friends and within fifteen mins we were back at the house. Sheila put the lock back on the gate but apparently she was very nervous because she left all the doors open including the garages.

We went into the house and seen that she had stolen dishwashers, the oven, built in microwaves, warmer, cabinets, bathroom sinks, my built in closets, furniture, fixtures, electronics, workout equipment, and clothes. ALMOST EVERYTHING. The four of us are there in disbelief. We took a few pictures and I got on the line and called the police. Sheila and her husband came back withthe carpenter (See Pics) and she continued to stick with her story that the people were behind them and we needed to leave. She knew that I wasn’t hearing it so she left.

The police came and I filed a police report. The witnesses were there and gave there statements as well. The officer had me call her on my phone. He told her she should return to give her statement because I was accusing her of theft. She refused. “I like to believe in the best of people. I don’t want to believe that people can look you and your kids in the eye and smile and yet be so devious, conniving, and greedy to the point where they would do anything for a dollar. I am blessed to have God on my side who gives me my strength to carry on.”

Here are some before and after the looting pictures:

Before the looting.

After the looting.

I wonder if this Sheila Rashad was another set up by clever Bob to get all his furniture and things back from Sheree.

And recently Bob Whitfield spoke to StraighFromTheA  about Phaedra’s comment on him “looking a mess” with his wrinkled-ass shirt. Click here to listen to Bob’s ramblings his ass sounds drunk. Although, he needs to pay his child support he was funny as hell on his little phone interview. Bob says he ain’t paying “purse support” or some shit and he gets caught up in a tangent talking about the nightmares of having to iron his 300 dollar shirt.

It seems that since Bravo had to turn down Annie Churchill for a spot on the Real Housewives Spectacle Of Crazy, they may be asking one of their fired fame-junkies back who I am sure is needing her camera-time fix. A recent rumor surfaced that Bravo may be thinking about asking Alex Mccord back for small cameos and to be a backup in case shit don’t work out with the new cast. I bet Alex will jump at the chance to be part of the platoon in that clown bus.

From Huffington Post:

“Before filming began, Bravo and I discussed me making cameos throughout the fifth season,” ex-housewife Alex McCord tells me. “Eventually, I decided against it. I didn’t want to be the backup if things didn’t work out with any of the new girls.”

Although there have been mixed reports about the new women — Carole Radziwill (a distant relative of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis), fashion designer Heather Thomson and Wall Street wife Aviva Drescher (who is related to Fran Drescher) — things must be going well as none of the fired ladies have yet been called to jump in and save the day.

“The girls have traveled to London and Miami, shooting,” a Bravo insider tells me. “And although Sonia, Ramona and LuAnn have the advantage of knowing how the shows work, don’t think the new women haven’t figured out fast how to make sure they get as much airtime as possible.”

The same insider insists that neither Zarin nor McCord have been invited back this season and warns against rumors that the network is already looking for season six replacements: “We are not casting for the next season. We don’t even know until this new season airs if there will be another season. I assure you there is no one signed on for any next season.”

So do y’all think  Alex is salivating for the opportunity to make a small cameo?

Kyle is hanging around at The Plastic Surgery Gone Horribly Wrong Offices of Dr. Paul Nassif of Frankenstein with her mother-in-law Estella who recently got a face transplant. Her mother-in-law  and Dr. Frankenstein try to get Kyle to do a little quickie face-ironing on the go because Paul feels Kyle’s angry jealousy crease is starting to show too much, since Brandi joined the show. Kyle tries to bullshit everyone by saying she is against plastic surgery (unless her face skin drags down to the ground, and it will) and insist she is using what God gave her, she also believes that her daily mule piss injections do not count as plastic surgery.

Adrienne and Brandi meet to pretend they are having lunch by playing with the food on their plate and moving it around. Brandi says she is having some sort of belly dancing bitch and wine party and is concerned to put Chankla and Camille in the same room. Brandi says she is inviting everyone even asshole Kim who can’t stand her. After they pretend to eat lunch, they race to the bathroom to see who can puke the one nibble they each took off their meal the fastest.

Kyle is at home having some Cinco De Drinco party full of Mexicans (her words not mine and I can say that since my left side is Mexican.)  Before Mauricio can join the dinner table, Kyle smacks him with the newspaper because he is wearing some fugly ass shoes. While at the dinner Kyle gets jealous that her mother in law looks way younger than her and she can  turn her head like the fucking Exorcist.

Lisa is over at her new improved restaurant SUR and also slapping around the poor contractor who tries to give her an unwelcome complement. Ok that was boring moving right along.

Kim is sitting at home alone eating Cheetos and folding laundry she was invited to Brandi’s party, but refused to go because she hates that “slut pig.”

 Finally it’s Brandi’s party and she lives right smack in the middle of ghetto ass Malibu. I swear I’ve seen that house plenty of times while driving down PCH on my surf runs, but then again it looks like every other house on PCH so who knows.

Chankla Face and Kyle show up together and Chankla was already nice and drunk because on the limo ride there she pounded a couple of bottles of Night Train snorted some meth and then guzzled more booze all this on an empty stomach. Then, she bitched complained,  moaned and farted about NOT being willing to make amends with Camille, Kyle was holding her breath in the limo and needed to crack a window really really bad. 

When these ho’s arrive at Casa De Brandi, right away Kyle starts snarking that Brandi is a no-bra wearing ho’. Brandi brings out the belly dancing teaching lady who proceeds to teach these ho’s how to shake their assess like an ancient pole dancer because belly dancers are really only old school pole dancers. Why do you think they have coined belts?

Everyone is drinking, dancing and having a good time even when bitch ass Kyle starts complaining about Brandi’s bra-less boobs , but in reality Kyle is just pissed off because hers sag to the ground and have lost their bounce since like 14 babies ago. Then, she starts pointing at Brandi’s nips with a laser pointer trying to rile her up and tell her she needs a bra. But Brandi doesn’t fall for that shit and just ignores that jealous hag because Brandi is a  Flowerchild. Kyle is also ready willing and able to start a bitch slap fest over ANYTHING Brandi says or does, when Brandi tries to give Kyle a complement about her marriage Kyle takes that as an insult and a stealing Mauricio threat.

When Kyle sees that Brandi is not falling for her dumb ass stunts the dumb trick starts dancing like a drunken fool and taking over the belly dancing class to be ‘the center of attention” like Brandi points out.

Kyle thinks her splits are impressive, but what’s even more impressive is the fact that she has the flexibility of  a double jointed circus-freak star who after 13 children doesn’t even need to push or even be laying down to give birth anymore. The last baby she had while standing up fixing dinner, when suddenly she queefed and the baby landed in the enchilada platter she was fixing for Mauricio. The bitch didn’t know if that was an umbilical cord or stringy melted cheese. EEEEWWWWW!!!! Sorry for that mental image, that was gross!

Maybe Brandi needs to cover her nipples, but Kyle needs to  close her busted legs her insecurity is showing and it’s some BIG insecurity. I heard you can throw a two by four down Kyle’s insecurity and you will never hear it land because it gets swallowed up in that dark vortex of jealousy.

Kyle is trying to make digs at Brandi to get her cheesed up, but Chankla is walking around pouting to try and get a straight up bitch brawl started with Camille. Althought Kyle and Chankla are trying to get some pissy rise out of the other ho’s, everything is still going well everyone is getting along and this bothers Chankla Face to no end because SHE CAN’T STAND IT WHEN EVERYONE IS NICE AND HAVING A GOOD TIME!!!! NO!! It has to become about CHANKLA FACE! But how, how can I make this about myself and fuck up this bitches party??? Chankla thought to herself in between garbled drunken un-reasoning. Sooo she runs outside sits on the porch and pouts her trout lips.

Suddenly a big ass bitch confrontation takes place between Chankla Face and Camille’s friend/bitch guard about what an asshole Chankla Face is and how she should drop her shit and make up or at least talk it out with Camille. Chankla Face starts freaking out displaying another award winning performance when she screams like a mental patient without her meds  at the woman ‘YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT SHE’S DONE TO ME!!” as if Camille murdered her children.

When Chankla Face manages to make this about her everyone runs outside to try and calm her out of control ass out. Bitch is standing by the rail where she could of fallen in the water and if it was windy that night she sure would of flown right into the ocean and drowned. Brandi sure had a lot of self control to not throw that annoying gnat overboard, she would of being fine after all, her inflated lips would floated her back to safety.

One of the ladies at the party who looks like she is 100 years old because I counted at least 50 surgeries on her face, starts telling Chankla stuff about how the ocean will be there once we are all gone and some shit about evolution that goes right over Chankla’s head. What do you mean evolve? The nice plastic surgery wannabe Jocelyne Wildenstein lady is trying to reason with drunken ass trailer-park Chankla Face who is going all Oklahoma  Hurricane on bitches faces. What  plastic-surgery-gone-scary nice lady (whatever the fuck her name is) doesn’t understand is that, she is dealing with a wild beast that was released into civilization and wild beast don’t evolve. They mutate, as we are witnessing here with Chankla Face making a grandiose FOOL of her screaming, fish-lip flapping self in front of all these people including the servers and the chefs who where laughing their asses off once everyone left and they were passing a peace joint while cleaning the kitchen before they had to head back to ghetto-ass Ventura to surf. That’s why these caterers don’t fight amongst each other, see. But Bravo would lose ratings if they had those bitches pass the bong instead of the moon shine.

Suddenly Brandi makes a move that has never been tried before in Housewives history and yells at Chankla and bitch Kyle to get THE FUCK OUT of her house. Those skanks try to fight her, but it doesn’t quite work . Then they have no choice, but to leave. It was awesome.

OMG!! OMG!! THAT’S RIGTH I ALMOST FORGOT!! (Thanks Robin for reminding me.) That whole pandemonium of crazy wasn’t enough. Chankla Face had to also embarrass herself in front of the unsuspecting limo driver that drove her and the other ungrateful hag home safe, who only gets paid 12 bucks an hour, which is not enough to put up with some screaming bitch demanding a light who ends up lighting the buttend of her cigarette, which reflects the permanent incoherent uncoordinated, chaotic drunk-ass she is.

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Phaedra brings Kandi a cake, to apologize for El RiDick-Culo’s display of scary raunch sausage. Phaedra tells Kandi she feels really bad that El RiDick-Culo offended Mama Joyce, and Kandi says that Mama Joyce is still pissed and won’t answer her calls because that Full Monty show was too much and too traumatic for Mama Joyce’s sensitive eyes to handle. Phaedra insist El RiDick-Culo and his Tijuana Dip & Donkey show is something the whole world should see. Yeah, try telling that to the 900 party goers (including Mama Joyce) who are still laying in bed with bandages on their eyes.

I guess NeNe’s eyes didn’t bleed because that bitch knew (from personal experience) about El RiDick-Culo’s Peen Show, since she used to shake her ass for nickels on the same stage El RiDick-Culo used to give his Circled Jerkoff show. Not to mention the fact that she has also introduced him thousands of times to a crowd of drunken horny women (and men,) so she knew better than to stay and allow for her eyes to combust in a sea of splattering blood. So she took her eyes out,  and put them in her purse, and drove back home blind because driving back home blind was safer than having ruptured bleeding eyes. Phaedra says that if she could blow herself like El RiDick-Culo she would never leave her house.

Cynthia is doing some gig to introduce homeless crackheads fashion models at something called the International Fashion Week. Cynthia has always played mute walking mannequin NEVER has she introduced models and so every introduction was followed by “correction” blah, blah, blah. I guess the people that put this shit together had a fifty dollar budget since the bitches modeling are wearing pieces of sheets and quilts, plus curtains from the secondhand 99 cent bin, so the broke asses in charge could not afford someone else and they are stuck having to make do with Cynthia and her “corrections.”

For some reason Phaedra and Apollo show up because apparently they made up with Cynthia and Bitter Peter over the blowup at Kim’s baby shower. Sheree is also there with her date Lawrence who decided to wear his old-prostitute-who-couldn’t-afford-a-weave outfit.

After the fashion show, Cynthia is happy that she actually got a couple of sentences together while introducing the models for the show. Then, she collects her payment which is a half-eaten sandwich and a cigarette butt. Bitter Peter snags her payment from her.

We get to meet new housewife Marlo Hampton and her date Charles Grant who supposedly bumped fuglies (pun intended!) with one NeNe Leakes, as Sheree points out. I wonder if Gregg knew about these shenanigans when NeNe screamed at him her famous line “I have done right by you!”

Later on,  Sheree invites her crossed-eyed ex-husband  Bob Whitfield, to visit with her and the kids to play kickball at the park and to have Sheree confront him, blow up at him and throw water in his face about not paying child-support. While Shree is yelling at Bob for being a deadbeat-dad he just sits there with this FUCK OFF look in his face. As much as I can’t stand men who refuse to support their children, Bob makes a point when he reminds Sheree that she needs to quit buying 15k purses (don’t forget Aston Martin’s) and that she is an able body female who can go out and clean toilets to support those kids. However, his ass still should pay for those children whether that bitch wants to blow the money on designer purses or not, as long as the children are wearing the expensive purses this bitch likes on their feet like shoes.

I bet  this is the real reason (or excuse)  Bob is refusing to pay his child-support checks because he is afraid Sheree will blow the money on expensive  shit for herself while the kids run around barefoot and wearing a potato sack to school. After Sheree threw water on Bob (in front of the kids mind you) she walks away all pissed off and he sits there calling her “evil to the core!” I wonder if Sheree used to beat his ass when they were married?

After Sheree assaulted Bob via sparkletts water, she shows up at Phaedra’s law office to get assistance in dragging  Bob  to court for child support. Phaedra says she will do it and drag his balls to court to squeeze that child support out of him, but Sheree starts crying and says she is not sure she will go through with it. Soooo she is full of shit?

Next Cynthia her mom and her sister Malorie are hanging out at Cynthia’s new brothel modeling school, to get into another argument about what an asshole Bitter Peter is. Cynthia announces she may be giving Bitter Peter another 40 thousand dollar check that he will be wiping his ass with. The mom gets all pissed and yells at her daughters to shut the fuck up, so they do.

Later on Cynthia finds out that Peter won’t be needing her 40k check because he did some shady dealings with the Mafia  got the money from an undisclosed source.

Kim is about to pop that baby out and Brielle is concerned the baby will cause problems in their lives. We also find out that Arianna and Brielle have two different dads. Then, Brielle finds out that Kim breast-fed her (with those big fake plastic boobies) and she becomes so traumatized and grossed out that she has to go brush her teeth. Poor kid!

Kandi finally is allowed to visit Mama Joyce who had to change her hair to forget about that fucking El RiDick-Culo disaster she had to endure and because when her eyes bled it ruined her last weave. Mama Joyce says she feels disrespected by the whole stripper show and doesn’t understand why Freakdra would invite a raunchy ass stripper to perform such a disgusting act knowing Mama Joyce would be there. Kandi continues to apologize and is surprised her mom was offended since her mama is her “homegirl.”

It’s time for Bar None’s opening night Sheree and Lawrence are driving there in a very nice car and they notice how Bar None is located in some god-forsaken ghetto surrounded by boarded up crack houses. Sheree is scared and locks her doors. When they finally make it to the bar they all find out that the air conditioning is not working and this is during a summer night in a packed placed with no air conditioning and exposed wires to make this an uncomfortable fire hazard.

Everyone is in attendance, even that Marlo chick and that Charles guy that supposedly banged NeNe that one time. NeNe shows up at the last four minutes of the party (she was supposed to be there to cohost because she is a big star in that part of the slums) and everyone thinks it’s because she is avoiding Charles who is there and a confrontation may occur. Charles says that he met NeNe, but the bitch was so into herself it was a turn off and he ditched the ho’.

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Melissa Gorga is getting a lot of  “display” this month and I hope she is enjoying it because according to All AboutTRHH she always wanted the fame and exposure that Teresa got and now her dream came true, so true, it is now a nightmare for Mel since the things that are being “displayed” are NOT the things she wants us to know about her.

An “insider” revealed that Melissa was so jealous of Teresa’s rise to fame that for THREE FUCKING YEARS this famewhoring cow stalked and harrassed Bravo begging them to throw her in the RHONJ circus of crazy and Bravo kept telling her to fuck off because she was a boring skank. 

Melissa didn’t give up and she persisted on her mission to get on that trash show no matter what, even if that meant she had to make deals with the devil and that’s exactly what she did when she contacted Danielle Staub aka Joker Face and proceeded to feed her information about Teresa and the Manzo’s , this way she can show Bravo she is a low brow shit stirrer worthy to be on Housewives. Even Joker Face didn’t want this bitch and her husband on the show, although Melissa’s plan was to be besties with Joker Face on camera in order to piss off Teresa and completely destroy what little peace they had in that chaotic family.

And supposedly this coming season Bravo is keeping Teresa as permanent asshole of the show because it seems that Melissa has talked through both sides of her mouth and manipulated not only Teresa’s old friends but also Bravo’s producers to have them on her side so that way they can monkey stomp on Tree.

From All AboutTRHH:

Melissa spent the past three years haunting Bravo and Danielle, trash-talking all of the Housewives but then kissing ass once they got on, then being mad at Teresa for being upset with them after all of that. Imagine your SIL, someone you have to see for the rest of your life, doing this for you – and your jealous and brainwashed friends sticking up for them. NEWSFLASH CAROLINE – Melissa was the one who told Danielle all about your stomach surgery, made the ‘rumors’ of Albert cheating at the Brownstone, and said ‘my daughter would never do that’ about Ashley. Wake the *beep* up.”

The truth will come out. Melissa tried to be on the show from the very beginning. They did not want her because she was boring. So, she stomped her feet and stalked Danielle Staub to the point where even Danielle (of all people) refused to bring her onto the show. Melissa AND Joe wanted to come on to surprise Teresa and be on-camera friends with Danielle. I wish that did happen because maybe Caroline and Jacqueline would not be believing all of Melissa’s lies like you will see in season four. She knows how to lie and get what she wants, but the truth will come out. Her stalking Danielle is what finally got her on the show. A lot was also said at season 2′s reunion (with Melissa’s name) that was completely removed because at the time, no one even knew who she was.”

Also click here for a lovely photo of Mel Ala Gretchen Rossi “on display” on the toilet.

After Adrienne Maloof bitched and moaned that Lisa VanderDump was jealous of her hooker-stompers, shoe collection and also complained that Lisa’s daughter Pandora should of never had her Bachelorette party at the better located and more luxurious Planet Hollywood rather than the dumpy Palms Motel And Casino (yes, I know this from experience since I run to Vegas like every other weekend.)

Pandora decided to stick up for her mom and took to her Twitter account earlier this week, barking out that it was HER decision NOT her mother’s to have her Bachelorette party at Planet Hollywood because Pandora is a big girl with a voice and she does what she wants:

@PandoraVTPandora Vanderpump T

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New bitches new ho’ downs, the drama never ends. Even though Jill “Jillaousy” Zarin, “Co Co Puffs” Kelly Bensimoron, Cindy “Bore Me” Barshop and Alex “Frankenstein Shoes” Mccord were all axed because supposedly the situation got toxic and now a new blend of toxic got introduced to the old blend of toxic waste, that is the New York Skanks it appears these bitches are all at each other’s throats already with a whole new set of cat-fights and bitch slappery fiascoes.  Ramona is the “asshole pariah” of this season and LuAnn de Lesseps plus Sonja Morgan are pushing for the empty spot of Queen Bee that Jill Zarin left behind.

 Although, the show is supposed to be “totally different than last season.” The  NY. Daily News reported the women have already divided into teams and Ramona is now fighting with her bestie Sonja (she must of found out Mario banged her.)

From NY Daily News:

The episode opens with Kyle and Kim. Kyle is meeting Kim’s mystery man (that she found on craigslist hookups) for the first time and is sobbing because she knows he is a weirdo. I mean just LOOK AT HIM! So Kyle cries and blah, blah, blah. She knows Kim fucked up.

OK moving right along. Chankla Face had some event thing for her faux-charity. Chankla doesn’t like Miss Princess Lisa VanderDump because Miss VanderDump is made of real Gold turds and her ass can tell a faker from eight yards away. Chankla doesn’t like it when someone tells her like it is so, she makes an effort to avoid Lisa as much as possible and because she also wanted to throw a passive aggressive dig she totally didn’t invite Lisa to the event and of course  to piss her off.

Chankla’s evil plan to piss the Lisa off worked because she purposely didn’t tell some of the other bitches that she wasn’t inviting Lisa (see so this way they would spill it to Lisa in conversation later on) and luckily, for Chankla Face this happened sooner than she thought because while Kyle was wondering the hallways of an abandoned crackhouse looking for Chankla’s event she accidentally tells Lisa on a phone coversation, that Chankla Face didn’t invite her.  When Kyle told Chankla Face of her accidental spill Chankla was loving that shit.

The next day, Lisa invites all the skanks including Chankla Face to her multimillion dollar princess castle so, that Chankla can feel stupid for not inviting Lisa to her faux charity thingy. But before Chankla Face shows up, at the VanderDumpster multimillion dollar dump, Lisa reveals an email she received from the late Russell who was planning on making a couple of bucks out of the deal and sue the VanderDumpsters for talking to the gossip mags about Chankla Face’s deteriorating, pill-popping, crack-head frame.

Chankla Face and her lips show up to Lisa’s mansion. And because Chankla is a raging attention-whore with amazing  water faucet talents, she decides she wants to start confronting Lisa and cry and scream with her gigantor lips like she wants to swallow Lisa alive, then maybe Lisa would shut up and quit telling that bitch to eat; but who wouldn’t tell that scary bitch to eat something? She looks like she hasn’t eaten since 1975!

So, Chankla Face starts crying more and getting louder about how Lisa doesn’t like her because Chankla is a broke ass and Lisa was sitting there almost smirking because she KNOWS that Chankla Face is a grifter and not real Beverly Hillbilly Royalty. (I mean, if the bitch would of at least won the lottery, maybe Lisa would of liked her better, but nah!)

Chankla Face is on a “mission” to ruin Lisa’s afternoon tea that she even tries to get the other bitches to join her in telling Princess Lisa how it is. When Chankla Face tries to get the other bitches to thrash on Lisa, the other ho’s are sitting there mumbling and twiddling their thumbs, but specially dipshit Kyle when Chankla Face goes off on Lisa having a HUGE EGO (like Chankla doesn’t right?) and she drags Kyle into it.

Chankla Face kept crying and screaming at the top of her lungs, about how she kissed Lisa’s ass to be part of the rich bitch club, but since Chankla Face’s middle name is Traylor Parker she will never be good enough for Lisa and Lisa feels deep down inside that Chankla needs to go back to her double wide in Oklahoma where she is comfortable. Even though Lisa thinks Chankla is a loser and all of that shit she still apologized to her for being an asshole, but all of that is not enough for Chankla who is on a meltdown. AGAIN!

Then, Lisa reminds Chankla Face that she invited her and little Kennedy to go live with her, but Chankla says that Lisa did it to be a bitch. YEP, that’s exactly what that bitch was planning to do she was going to have Chankla take Maria the maids spot and her and Maria were going to laugh at Chankla while she tried to figure out how to clean the toilets. Chankla was on to her.

Chankla Face storms out. When she storms out she runs into someone. At first I thought it was the cameramen or some shit because you hear her say “I stormed out!” but upon closer inspection I saw it was none other than Dr. Paul Frankenstein and the water faucet was turn to off, and her mood turned to on. YEP! I suspect that! Because watch how comfortable and happy she is to see him!

Meanwhile, the other hens are in the hen-house cackling back and forth about how Chankla Face is an asshole that cries one minute about how she is leaving Russell for good and the next minute she is jumping on an airplane with him. Kyle is even fed up with Chankla Face and brings up how that bitch probably makes up all the wild stories about Russell. Notice how Lisa asks Kyle BITCH ISN’T SHE YOUR FRIEND? And Kyle is all licking Lisa’s ass and taking sides with Lisa and the majority because she doesn’t want to piss her rich friend off.

Chankla Face comes back in to fight some more and this is where shit got good. After Chankla sat there, whining about how she wants everyone to be honest, and bring everything out to the table Camille asks her if she really wants ALL OF  her true business out there and warns her to be careful with saying shit like that. All of the sudden Camille can’t take it anymore and straight up yells at Chankla “WE BEEN PROTECTING YOU! BECAUSE WE DON’T SAY THAT HE HITS YOU! BECAUSE WE DON’T SAY HE BROKE YOUR JAW! OR THAT HE BEAT YOU UP! AND THAT HE, HE HITS YOU! WE DON’T SAY THAT  BUT NOW WE SAID IT!” SNAAAP!!! Chankla wanted honesty and Camille brought up the 900 pound gorilla in the room. And all of the sudden I love Camille Grammer!

The episode continues with the ending of the Teresa and Kathy fight in Punta Cana. Barney Devito grabs a net and puts it around his wife’s neck to haul her away because he knows damn well she is a “hot-headed” asshole and likes to start all kinds of shit over nothing. After that, Barney Devito  has a talk with Ritchie while they both primp themselves in the bathroom and Barney Devito  being the enlightened man that he is, tells Ritchie that he is not defending Teresa because women are “are fucking retarded” anyway. Yeah, just wait until ALL his daughters are grown and still living in the house with him and Tree and he says that comment while ALL of them are on their periods at the same time (including Teresa unless she is on menopause) I can just see Milania when she gets promoted from brat to bitch, SHUT YOUR TRAP YOU OLD TROLL GIVE ME PIZZA  I’M ON MY PERIOD!!

Jacqueline and Chris decide to walk off to talk shit about what a wackadoo Teresa is. Chris gets tired and decides to suddenly jump on Jacqueline’s back for a piggy back ride back to the hotel while kicking her on the sides and grabbing her boobs yelling “YAH!! YAH!!”

While this is going on the Rat Pack, Albie, Christopher and Gregg decide they are going to spy on Barney Devito and Teresa doing it while they are both in the bathroom. EEEWWWW!!!  Instead, they end up outside the bathroom window where Teresa is now changing into a mood changing “Wonder Woman, crazy bitch” I’M IGNORING KATHY outfit created by NASA. While the Three Stooges are trying to fish out gossip (for the gossip magazines later,) Barney Devito walks in on them and instead of busting them he thinks they are spying on Tree ”pooping” and he doesn’t care. As a matter of fact he opens the window for them so they can get a whiff too!

That night they all go out to get drunk and into a fist-punching, kick stomping bar brawl, surprisingly with other people NOT with each other. Except Bravo never airs the bar brawl only the earlier part of the evening when the Giudice/Gorga’s were a lovey-dovey-family. Teresa and her brother hug and kiss, Barney Devito and Melissa hug and kiss. Barney and Psycho Midget Joey hug and kiss then, they play swords with each other, to see who is the shortest troll with the smallest itty bitty penis and it’s a tie. It’s all one big dysfunctional happy family-orgy full of hugs kisses and farts. To be honest with you I would rather see this interaction than when they’re drunken bitch slapping each other and of course we all know this didn’t last.

The next day Melissa and Psycho Joe Gorga release some “poison” in the bathroom and the Manzo boys, but specially Man-Servant-Sexy-Gregg feel lucky to walk in on it since Psycho Midget Joey had his little ”Tarzan” “On Display.”

The girls including Miss Gregg all decide to follow Teresa’s lead and go to the market in Punta Cana. They all get dressed up and decked out in their tackiest high heels from head to toe. These bitches think they are all going to the upscale Gucci and  Louis Vuitton stores  they are all accustomed to. So, when they show up cameras in-tow in all their pampered Princess tacky glory at the open air market the locals where confused  and excited. They didn’t know if these bitches where upscale hookers from the USA taking over their little dirty humble, parasite, farm animal carcass infested open air third world market. But they were close. VERY CLOSE! I bet this was the most exciting thing that happened in their little village since that one time that Pedro farted nasty at the public sinks at the plaza. They are going to be talking about this for years to come.

Those bitches walking around on those run down streets as if they where freaking out in a bloody massacre horror film in their five hundred dollar “Gucci’s” on drippy blood were NOT the only things that were  ”on display” at that open air market. The carcasses of dead cows and chicken heads were, but it appears their fake titties where upstaging the other things at that meat market. Did y’all see those scary looking locals drooling on those ho’s? Then, Teresa decides to grab a dead chicken and goes on chasing the other bitches with it. Teresa also decides to fan her cooch and ask the confused spice vendor if he ever read her book since she is a famous author and TV Star extraordinaire and even if this humble village doesn’t have any Internet access (except for the local drug lord) Teresa feels that is NO excuse for this quiet humble vendor who doesn’t even understand what the fuck she is saying, to NOT know who she is.

Teresa says the reason she is out in the local market is because she is doing research on writing her third cook book where she will be doing a “fusion” of Italian and Italian food. Except this time instead of using tomatoes, cheese, dough, meat and spices for the base “ingrediencess” she will be using dough, tomatoes, meat and cheese instead. So it’s totally different see.

While the Puta Princesses are out flapping their goods “On Display” for the local village the men go golfing. And when I say golfing they went and treated the golf course like the batting cages. The Godfather is the only one that knows how to golf (since he has to make all those crooked deals with city officials an’ all) and he is appalled and embarrassed he took these ass-mooning, drunken, savage, clowns with him.

That night Barney Devito was surprisingly going horn-dog on Teresa. Maybe it turns him on when she freaks out and goes “crazy bitch” on the other ho’s.

The Manzo boys decide that everything has been too peaceful between the ho’s and want to see a cat-fight so for the final dinner at Punta Cana they decide to have a contest to see who the Puta Cana Princess is. Immediately Teresa starts taking this nonsense serious like her life depends on it and gets this worried look in her face because she is afraid to lose this life or death contest.

They each win some lame ass category. Melissa gets asked who the VP of the United States and the bitch didn’t know his name!

IS THIS DUDE!

Then someone showed her this picture and she suddenly remembered it was Biden. When Melissa gets one more question about world geography she gets another point for naming Antarctica as the continent where Egypt resides because apparently none of these dip-shits know Egypt is in Africa none of them know, not even ex-college drop out Albie, oh wait maybe that’s why he got flunked out of school.

On the very last day of their trip Teresa’s lost bag of faux-jewerlies arrives after it went on its own traveling adventure from Florida to Las Vegas to Hawaii and then back to the Dominican Republic. When Teresa gets her bags she jumps up and down from joy and Greg rolls up his eyes.

Everyone goes back to the United States, after almost half of them got detained for the bar brawl and that was Albie, Barney Devito and Greg.

Melissa is now back in New Jersey and is nervous about her big performance at the Black Water thingy. When she walks in to meet with her professional back up dancers you can tell she is nervous and since she “doesn’t know how to dance worth shit” like Ritchie said in an earlier episode she can’t keep up with the dance steps. This is the reason the strip club place had to make her a bartender instead. Psycho Midget Joe also was trying to rent some live tigers to distract people in case Melissa’s performances flops because what better way to be distracted than to be worried there are two live tigers that can go on a feeding bloody frenzy at any minute in a room packed with about 600 people and one exit.

Then, when she does her singing rehearsal she sounds like a banshee having sex with a werewolf so they auto-tune her real nice and somehow a scientist comes up with a formula that makes her shoes give her rhythm to follow the dance steps. Awesomely she pulls the performance off and turns on all the mens even Barney Devito who congratulates her by giving her a long dry humping hug. Everyone loves each other even Teresa and Kathy get along, Teresa goes as far as apologizing to Kathy for being a crazy asshole. They are all one big happy dysfunctional issue-infested family! For now.

The mystery woman who was photographed having lunch with Barney Devito while Teresa was out holding the big wooden, witch shit-stirring spoon at the Posche Fashion Show, has been revealed. And even though Teresa tried to down play that shit like she always does by saying Sancha is a “family friend,” the truth is, she is an old Barney Devito friend. According to Reality Tea the rumor is that Barney Devito’s brother used to date Sancha and Barney Devito dated Sancha’s sister back in the day.

The mystery woman is a Puerto Rican native divorcee 37 year old  professional body builder named Davana Medina, who Barney Devito has supposedly been rumored to have known and banged the whole time even before he married Teresa and it seems that he kept in close touch with Davana and maybe with her sister as well.

Life & Style revealed that Davana used to be Teresa’s personal trainer while supposedly doing Barney Devito on the side:

While Teresa claims the woman is a family friend — Davana was once her personal trainer — an insider confirms to Life & Style that Joe’s relationship with her goes far deeper than Teresa knows. “Joe actually used to date Davana’s sister before he married Teresa,” reveals a former friend of Davana’s. “But Joe was very close to Davana, as well. He’s been at her house many times, late at night.”

While the mom of four was busy filming season four of her hit Bravo show at the annual Posche fashion show, Joe was grabbing midnight drinks with Davana across town. “They stayed for an hour or so,” says a fellow diner about Joe and Davana, who’s divorced and has a young daughter. “They were definitely friendly. She looked like a younger version of Teresa.”