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Real Housewives Of New Jersey, Jacqueline Laurita’s Stripper Drama Continues

admin — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 22:49:50 +0000

Recent rumors surfaced about Jacqueline Laurita being a stripper and prostitution whore who met her husband at the pole, but Jacqueline has time and time again denied those rumors and says all those rumors are bullshit and has even gone as far as pulling out of her ass, identification cards and other proof that show Jacqueline was not a stripper or a prostitution whore.

Jacqueline told The Huffington Post, “I swear on the life of myself, my husband and my children that I was never a call girl or ever got paid for any sexual favor of any kind, either,” and says she is not a liar “Do you honestly think that I am the kind of girl that lies?”and adds ”Honestly? Lying is my biggest pet peeve. I am the biggest open book there is. Almost to a fault.”

Here is the evidence that supports Jacqueline had a legitimate respectable job as a daycare provider that show proof she was not earning money the old fashion laying on your back way:

For someone who never stripped or whored around she is worrying too much pulling out all these id’s and whatnot.

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Real Housewives Of New Jersey, Jacqueline Laurita Will Come Back For A Third Season Of RHONJ Miss Andy Said So!

admin — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 03:45:56 +0000

Jacqueline Laurita who supposedly tried to “forgive” Teresa Giudice during one of her Christmas spasm during the holidays (and probably forgot about that shit already since Christmas is over) will be returning for another season of this train-wreckage despite recent juicy rumors that she was fired by Bravo for violating her contract by ditching the reunion. Perhaps Miss Bravo had a change of heart because he stated on Monday everyone will be returning:

“Andy Cohen appeared on the Wendy Williams Show on Monday morning and confirmed that ALL cast members are returning – that includes the Manzo family, Teresa Giudice and Jacqueline (sic),”

Jacqueline also confirmed via Twitter, that she will be returning :

“FACT! No, I have not quit the show and no, I have not been fired. Season 5 is a mystery. Guess you will just have to … Watch What Happens! XO!”

Real Housewives Of New Jersey, Jacqueline Laurita Was Really A Stripper! Teresa’s Husband Gets Indicted!

admin — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 01:07:31 +0000

Teresa Giudice’s husband, Barney Devito was indicted yesterday for that little incident he had back in 2010, when he was using his brothers drivers licence and got caught.

Also another exciting report has surfaced about Jacqueline Laurita being a stripper. A little while ago there was some gossip that spilled that she was a stripper in Vegas, of course she denied these claims. According to In Touch she worked at some gutter-skank, rat-hole from 1992 to 1993 and was in violent relationships with her then boyfriend who I suspects must be Ashley’s dad:

In Touchcan now exclusively reveal the details of the shocking past that she’d prefer to keep a secret. “She was a stripper at a Las Vegas club called the Glitter Gulch,” reports a former friend who was very close to Jacqueline. “She worked there from 1992 to 1993. Like all strip clubs, it was an awful place.”

And another former pal from back in the day reports that she spent several years in a volatile romance – the low point seems to have been her 1996 arrest for battery of her then-boyfriend, who was also arrested on the same charge. “She slapped him in the face and punched him in the groin,” the police report states.

I wonder if Jacqueline will have her lawyer call In Touch Magazine a “skank.”

Thanks to my readers Lizzie and Nikki for sending me the links to this juicy gossip!

Rumors Swirl About Bravo Keeping Teresa Giudice The Asshole Of The Show, Melissa Gorga Makes Her Best Impression Of Gretchen Rossi

admin — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 18:56:27 +0000

Melissa Gorga is getting a lot of “display” this month and I hope she is enjoying it because according to All AboutTRHH she always wanted the fame and exposure that Teresa got and now her dream came true, so true, it is now a nightmare for Mel since the things that are being “displayed” are NOT the things she wants us to know about her.

An “insider” revealed that Melissa was so jealous of Teresa’s rise to fame that for THREE FUCKING YEARS this famewhoring cow stalked and harrassed Bravo begging them to throw her in the RHONJ circus of crazy and Bravo kept telling her to fuck off because she was a boring skank.

Melissa didn’t give up and she persisted on her mission to get on that trash show no matter what, even if that meant she had to make deals with the devil and that’s exactly what she did when she contacted Danielle Staub aka Joker Face and proceeded to feed her information about Teresa and the Manzo’s , this way she can show Bravo she is a low brow shit stirrer worthy to be on Housewives. Even Joker Face didn’t want this bitch and her husband on the show, although Melissa’s plan was to be besties with Joker Face on camera in order to piss off Teresa and completely destroy what little peace they had in that chaotic family.

And supposedly this coming season Bravo is keeping Teresa as permanent asshole of the show because it seems that Melissa has talked through both sides of her mouth and manipulated not only Teresa’s old friends but also Bravo’s producers to have them on her side so that way they can monkey stomp on Tree.

From All AboutTRHH:

Melissa spent the past three years haunting Bravo and Danielle, trash-talking all of the Housewives but then kissing ass once they got on, then being mad at Teresa for being upset with them after all of that. Imagine your SIL, someone you have to see for the rest of your life, doing this for you – and your jealous and brainwashed friends sticking up for them. NEWSFLASH CAROLINE – Melissa was the one who told Danielle all about your stomach surgery, made the ‘rumors’ of Albert cheating at the Brownstone, and said ‘my daughter would never do that’ about Ashley. Wake the *beep* up.”

The truth will come out. Melissa tried to be on the show from the very beginning. They did not want her because she was boring. So, she stomped her feet and stalked Danielle Staub to the point where even Danielle (of all people) refused to bring her onto the show. Melissa AND Joe wanted to come on to surprise Teresa and be on-camera friends with Danielle. I wish that did happen because maybe Caroline and Jacqueline would not be believing all of Melissa’s lies like you will see in season four. She knows how to lie and get what she wants, but the truth will come out. Her stalking Danielle is what finally got her on the show. A lot was also said at season 2′s reunion (with Melissa’s name) that was completely removed because at the time, no one even knew who she was.”

Also click here for a lovely photo of Mel Ala Gretchen Rossi “on display” on the toilet.

Real Housewives Of New Jersey, Jacqueline Laurita Involved In 8 Million Dollar Fraud Lawsuit

admin — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 02:17:33 +0000

Jacqueline Laurita and her husband Chris are following the typical tradition of a Real Faux Housewife when it comes to funding their faux-lavish lifestyle. According to Radaronline, the Laurita’s are finding themselves in a similar fraud lawsuit situation like the one her ex-friend Kettle-Teresa Giudice and her husband Barney Devito are involved in.

Christopher and his brother Joseph Laurita founded a company named Signature Apparel back in 2005 and they made tons of money. Between 2005 and 2009 it was reported they made more than 250 million dollars. But when the economy tanked in 2009 and the Laurita’s where used to their lavish lifestyle (plus their other ventures where not doing well) they started pocketing money so instead of paying their vendors money went to fund that champagne and diamonds lifestyle they were used to.

“Signature’s assets were misused to make outright and unjustified payments to Laurita family members, and to fund the operations of the Laurita brothers’ other companies and business ventures.”

“The Laurita brothers soon drained the Company of all of its funds and assets in order to support their families’ increasingly opulent lifestyle of private jets, limousines, extravagant parties, premium automobiles, designer clothing, ostentatious home furnishings and lavish vacations,” the complaint that was filed on November 2, 2010, reads.

Radaronline posted a list of the misuse of the funds:

Nearly $2 million in credit card payments for the Laurity Family, including payments to more than 40 bank accounts.
* At least $331,637 for payments on no less than eleven leased cars, including a Bentley and a Maserati.
* At least $284,793 in airline travel expenses for the Laurita Family.
* At least $145,894 for private airplane rentals for the Laurita Family.
* At least $7,280 for travel agent expenses for the Laurita Family.
* At least $755,184 to defendant Christopher Laurita for undocumented or insufficiently documented reasons.
* At least $784,160 of disbursements directed by the Laurita Director Defendants (Chris and Joseph) to unknown recipients, without any documentation whatsoever.

Jacqueline is being named in the lawsuit because according to Radaronline she knew about the shenanigans and was in on them:

“Jacqueline and Anthony Laurita each knew of the Lauria Director Defendant’s wrongful conduct, and each substantially assisted the Laurita Director Defendants in breaching their fiduciary duties by, among other conduct, accepting funds they each knew belonged to Signature and for which they each knew they had performed no services and/or provided no value,” the claim continued.

“Funds that should have been used to grow Signature’s business and to pay Signature’s vendors and creditors, instead were diverted to the Laurita Family Defendants.”

Of course Chris Laurita is challenging the charges and Jacqueline is denying any knowledge of these schemes:

On March 14, 2011 Jacqueline and her husband Chris filed an amended answer to the complaint, wherein Jacqueline states she “lacks knowledge or information sufficient to form a belief as to the truth of the allegations of the First Amended Complaint.”

Jacqueline’s husband denied nearly all of the 155 allegations made in the claim and states that the complaint should be dismissed “because of a failure to state facts sufficient to constitute a cause of action and a failure to state a claim upon which relief may be granted.”

Real Housewives Of New Jersey, Teresa Giudice’s Children In Danger Of Getting Taken Away

admin — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 20:35:01 +0000

Teresa Giudice’s husband Barney Devito psychobabble, drunken outburst did not earn him father of the year like he was expecting (just like Teresa shitting all over people in her award winning book dind’t earn her the prom queen popular status she was expecting.)

According to the National Enquirer people close to the Giudice’s are worried that a “tragedy” is inevitable because of Barney Devito’s drunkenness and Teresa’s relentless desire to chase famewhoredom, coupled with her insistence on being completely oblivious to her children’s need for more emotional support (like when a hammered Barney Devito chipped his tooth and she pretty much dismissed Gia’s freak-out.) The insiders believe that if Barney Devito and Teresa don’t put a stop to their neanderthal ways, their children will end up in a foster home.

From The National Enquirer:

“I think Teresa and Joe will lose their kids if they don’t clean up their act,” a source told The ENQUIRER.

“She’s being called a horrible mom and in my opinion, Joe’s the big, bad, bullying dad. And unfortunately for them, the proof is all caught on tape.

“Not only does Joe show his true colors by appearing intoxicated and fighting during episodes, but it’s clear that their daughters – especially Gia – are suffering from his and Teresa’s poor parenting skills.”

During one booze-filled play session with Gia, Joe took a tumble and chipped his tooth on his marble floor. A terrified Gia sobbed at the sight of her dad’s bloody mouth.

“If Teresa had any brains at all, she wouldn’t leave her girls alone with Joe when he’s drinking,” said the source. “It’s an accident waiting to happen. Child Protection Services needs to watch a few episodes and they’d see for themselves that there’s enough evidence to use in a child neglect case.”

“This guy is certainly not a role model for the kids and appears to have a drinking problem,” Dr. Terry Lyles, a Florida-based psychologist and expert on stress and trauma, told The ENQUIRER.

Thanks 808wave for the heads up.

Real Housewives Of New Jersey, Jacqueline Laurita Denies Rumors About Being A Stripper In Vegas!

admin — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 00:21:11 +0000

After rumors hit the web regarding Jacqueline Laurita’s stripper past in Vegas she came back swinging and insist this is a bunch of fabricated bullshit. In fact, even Jacqueline’s father tweeted yesterday that this is nonsense. He states she was working in a convention job because his friend Steve Shirippa from the Soprano’s recommended her for it:

jgrippeJerry Grippe

Very upset about In Touch article. My friend, Steve Shirippa,(Sopranos) recommended Jacq for a convention job in Chicago w/ Versace Sport.

Jacqueline went on to post a long PDF file that states a play by play of how she met husband Chris Laurita:

“HOW I MET CHRIS”
For those of you who have been asking about how Chris and I met, I will tell you the story. Chris and I met the summer of 1996 when Ashley was only five years old. At the time, I rented a chair in a salon doing hair as a licensed cosmetologist in Las Vegas, Nevada where I had moved with my ex-husband and my parents in 1990.

I also would work my salon schedule and appointments around certain weeks when I was modeling at conventions that frequently came to our town. It was good money that I needed and I enjoyed doing it. I don’t really like to call it modeling because it wasn’t as glamorous as print work and runway, but I had fun doing it anyway.

I modeled clothes, shoes, accessories, electronics, computer programs, just what ever came to town. I never took jobs out of town because I had to take care of a small child. One day my Dad, who was senior vice president of operations at the Riviera Hotel and Casino, told me that a coworker of his knew a guy that needed a model to work in his booth at a trade show in Chicago. It was for the the NSGA (National Sporting Goods) trade show or something like that. I could never afford a vacation, so a trip to Chicago sounded like a pretty good deal to me and came at a time when I really felt like I needed to get away. My Dad’s coworker was a guy named Steve Shiripa.
You may know him by his character on The Sopranos. Steve is actually the guy that introduced me to a friend who hired me to do that job in Chicago. Meanwhile, Chris was a jobber in the wholesale apparel business and was building a new company. He was returning from vacation when he and his brothers decided last minute to go to the convention in Chicago. Chris was living in New Jersey at the time. Fate and destiny at work. Chris and his brothers happened to come by our booth and his brother just happened to know one of the girls I was working with through her sister. Small world. Chris and I were introduced. I thought nothing of it, besides the fact that he was a handsome guy with pretty blue eyes and dimples who was very quiet and seemed shy, but sexy at the same time.

Chris and his brothers came back around later that day and invited us to a dinner they were having. I originally said no because I didn’t know them well enough, but the girl I was working with kept insisting that she knew them to be good guys. She told me that Chris wasn’t going to go unless I went. I found that strange and hard to believe because Chris and I hadn’t spoken much, but I was intrigued at the same time. I finally agreed to go to the dinner but only if we met them there. Chris and I sat across from each other and basically tuned everyone else
out all night while we talked and laughed. We had an instant connection. I had a great time with him.

When I left, we exchanged numbers to keep in touch, never thinking it could go anywhere because of the distance between us. From that day on it was nonstop visiting and ridiculously long and frequent phone calls in which we really got to know each other and became the best of friends and fell in love. That went on for about five years. There was a year break between us after three years. I really had no desire to move to New Jersey at the time and pull Ashley away from my family and friends and he couldn’t make the move to Nevada. We couldn’t move forward. I was so in love with him and I wasn’t dating other people, but I was scared to make the move. After our year apart, our failed attempts to get each other out of our minds and attempts of being with other people, we both realized we were just meant to be together and it wasn’t worth fighting it anymore. We had missed being in each other’s lives so much. We knew we loved each other but I just didn’t know where he would fit in and where it could go.

We reconnected and then a year later he came to me and proposed to me right in front of Ashley. I had to make a decision right then and there. HELL YES! I decided to go for it. I knew if I didn’t that I might regret it the rest of me life. I knew that I loved Chris, he made me laugh, we both enjoyed a lot of the same interests, we had the same family values, and wanted similar things for our future. I felt safe with him and knew that he would always take care of me and Ashley, and he’d treat her like his own daughter. It was the best decision I ever made! We’ve been together since and we’re still going strong. I still see my Nevada friends and family often. It all worked out.(While dating Chris I also went on to work for Lancome and worked on-call for swing and graveyard shifts as a cocktail waitress for a local hotel and casino called Samstown. I also freelanced as a makeup artist, just in case you were wondering.) That’s the end of my long ass story and the beginning of a new one that you’re more familiar with … my life in New Jersey.

Jax also posted on Twitter a very blurry, grainy picture (that looks more like something on Paranormal Activity) of her in front of the booth she worked at the day she met Chris.

She also posted this restaurant card from the day they met:

And this copy of an airplane roundtrip Chicago/Vegas ticket, there is also business cards with her name that don’t say Professional Prostitution Whore (she left that one out!):

According to US Weekly Jacqueline “will never speak to Teresa again,” and Caroline Manzo “hasn’t spoken to Teresa in months,” because “Every time they get together to film, everyone’s fighting with Teresa.” Melissa added that “Caroline is upset over the charade.” and that “Teresa and Melissa still communicate for family stuff, but things are strained,”

So what do you bitches think is she lying to cover her ass? Ooor did Joker Face and Teresa cooked this one up in their bullshit cauldron?

Yes I am getting in the Halloween spirit. I honestly don’t care if Jax used to be a stripper or not, and I know one way or the other the truth always comes out in the end anyway. The one thing I was mostly curios about was where did she live before Vegas? I send her a tweet asking her, but I doubt she will answer a smart ass blogger who clowns on her.

By TwitterButtons.com

Real Housewives Of New Jersey, Jacqueline Laurita A Former Stripper! Teresa Giudice’s Husband Caught With More Women!

admin — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 05:04:32 +0000

Rumors about Jacqueline Laurita being a former Las Vegas stripper have been swirling around for quite some time now. Although this information has not been confirmed before; In Touch Weekly is stating that according to a “source” (Teresa?) Jacqueline was indeed a stripper in Vegas and that while she was shaking her ass for dollar bills, she met her future husband Christopher Laurita who swept her and Ashley away into the posh life of the New Jersey suburbs and turn the ho’ into a real housewife.

The so called source (and we all know who the source is right bitches?) told the mag that Jacqueline has admitted to her close friends she used to strip for cash. “She has confirmed her stripper past to multiple friends who are covering up for her,” and supposedly she is desperately asking people to keep a lid on it. “She is telling everyone to deny it!”

And of course the cliche reason for her exotic dancer job was because. “At the time, she was a single mom who needed to dance at a club in order to pay her bills,”

Teresa I mean, the “source” also revealed that the real reason Jacqueline chickened out of the reunion was because she was scared of Joker Face showing up to help air Jacqueline’s dirty chones. “She feared that Danielle Staub would make a surprise appearance and tell all about Jacqueline’s stripping past,” and added . “She didn’t want to face the truth!”

And apparently Joker Face has claimed Jacqueline confided in her that she used to polish the pole. When someone tweeted Joker Face a question regarding Jacqueline’s past. ‘Would u mind responding to the rumors that [Jacqueline was] an exotic dancer years ago in LV?’ Danielle tweeted back, “She was and then some.” “And then some?” Is this mean there is more? Perhaps prostitution whoring also?

Jacqueline is also apparently paranoid that her husband’s financial problems will also be aired out. According to the “source” (cough, Tree, cough!) Chris Laurita’s company Signature Apparel Group is in the hole for 25 million dollars and back in 2009 the company filed bankruptcy.

This makes sense, since days before the reunion Joker Face stated she was contacted to be on the show one more time and it also makes me question why whenever Jacqueline fights with her daughter Ashley, she always backs down and Ashley acts like she has the upper hand and her mother is below her because she knows something Jacqueline doesn’t want her to blurt out in the middle of a fight. I am surprised when they had their big intervention fight at the restaurant Ashley didn’t say “At least I am 20 and don’t have a kid or am a stripper!”

Also in the same magazine Teresa’s husband’s philandering was mentioned. Apparently Barney Devito was in Atlantic City with an unidentified blonde. The witness reports: “He was drinking at the Waterfront Tower with four women [one of which was the blonde],”the source also states that Barney Devito was trying to keep a low profile. “At 2 a.m., I saw Joe leave a hotel room carrying his duffel bag. He looked like he didn’t want to be noticed.” Barney Devito denies this and tries to make it sound like gangs of bitches are just throwing their panties at him Another so called witness tried to cover up for Barney Devito, “about 30 women approached Joe that night, and he never went to a hotel room.”

To top it off supposedly Davana Medina the other woman that was caught having dinner with Barney Devito was dumped by her boyfriend when all this shit came out!

Since everyone hates Teresa it is really kinda hard to guess which one of the bitches leaked this out, but I am going with Kim Granny-Tell as the winner.

Thanks to my readers for the heads up on this juicy gossip.

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recrap, Portrait Of A Disfunctional Olive Garden Family

admin — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 23:26:58 +0000

While Teresa gets her family ready for the Gorga/Giudice family portrait she tells her husband Barney Devito she believes the family feud is coming to an end, but Barney Devito doesn’t believe that, which is why he doesn’t stop Milania from beating the crap out of the baby Audriana since in a few years they will both be bitch slapping each other and throwing tables at family weddings, gatherings and their future children Christenings so why not allow them to train on their furniture throwing and weave pulling skills while they are young. This way they can continue the Gorga/Giudice family tradition of keeping petty scores and fighting over bullshit, they been doing it since before they all joined this TV show wreckage wasn’t the old people fighting too Kathy’s mom and Tree’s dad? Or some shit like that? So there you go. It’s a family tradition they just don’t know it yet.

Next we have a boring segment of Ashley getting a pep-talk from uncle Jaime who is the gen-X version of the black sheep of the Manzo clan. It appears he passed the back sheep torch to Ashley a few years back and now he is in town to talk to Ashley about how to remain being a successful black sheep of the family and make your own money because California condos and “swallow’ tattoos cost money unless you are willing to swallow in exchange.

The Godmother gives some generic advice on her radio show to callers that are getting laughed at by her lovely children the Manzo kids. Ooh, the fun bonding activities they share!

At the Wikipedia’s young Miss Victoria is going to some kind of school prom and being properly courted by a well-dressed frightened young man who is being warned by old man Wikipedia that he will suffer from cracked nuts if young Miss Victoria comes back de-virginized. Later when it’s time to go young Miss Victoria comes down the steps with her pretty dress and Papa Ritchie thinks she forgot to put her jeans underneath.

Its family portrait day and grandpa Gorga stumbles in to the house, bitching and complaining that he can’t see shit because he just came back from the doctors who put eye-drops in his eyes just in case another fun night of table flipping and yelling (like the Christening from hell) occurs this way he doesn’t have to see it. Psycho midget Joey wants to drink with grandpa Gorga, but this makes little Gia nervous because she knows once the adults start drinking the punches start flying and she’s seen this one too many times in her young life so she tries to stop them, to no avail.

Later grandpa Gorga farts during the family photo-shoot and the photographer tells him to stop farting. But it’s too late the green toxic fart cloud is already hanging over the family picture that already got taken it represents the Gorga/Giudice feud and the fart that bonds them together.

And now the gossip/recipe cookbook Fabulicious. At Caroline’s Lauren has a surprise surprise for Caroline. (She wasn’t surprised she seen this earlier) and it’s a copy of Teresa’s latest cookbook. Lauren tells her mother Caroline what asshole Tree wrote about her in the cookbook calling her “Italian as the Olive Garden” ragging on the way Caroline prepares her fried meatballs and saying Caroline is only 1/16th Italian. So Caroline acts like she is pissed (she is still pissed from earlier when she originally read the book, but now the cameras are here so she gets worked up again) and Gregg yells “AWWW HELL NOOO!!!”

As Lauren continues to read the list of insults that Teresa printed in her cookbook mama Manzo gets more and more pissed-off specially when she is reminded that Teresa insulted her baby Christopher for wanting to open up a stripper/car-wash and Teresa says she wouldn’t want her daughters working there. That’s true I guess she wouldn’t want Gia to be the main attraction over at Bada Bing’s Car Wash Boobs and Lube, while poor Milania has to work as security. Not fair why can’t they both be the main attraction? Just kidding they are good girls, they are going to be pimping those bitches instead not being one of them , which is much better.

Caroline then says that her friend-shit with Teresa is over. The other Manzo children start howling a war-bark at the moon, and Lauren finishes it with “Hang around shit long enough you start to stink.”

At Kathy’s her husband Ritchie throws away the book when they also discovered Teresa called him an annoying asshole and at Melissa’s she complains to her older sister that Tree called her a copycat and she says she will hide this book from Psycho Joey and since his punk ass don’t know how to read he is not going to find out what Tree wrote about Mel. That is until the episode airs and he sees for himself.

Jacqueline shows up at Tree’s to confront her about the book, but chickens out later when she notices that Gia is on her mama’s side when it comes to Tio Joe and how “Melissa controls him.”

Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recrap, Puta Cana Meat Market Princess On Display

admin — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 23:26:16 +0000

The episode continues with the ending of the Teresa and Kathy fight in Punta Cana. Barney Devito grabs a net and puts it around his wife’s neck to haul her away because he knows damn well she is a “hot-headed” asshole and likes to start all kinds of shit over nothing. After that, Barney Devito has a talk with Ritchie while they both primp themselves in the bathroom and Barney Devito being the enlightened man that he is, tells Ritchie that he is not defending Teresa because women are “are fucking retarded” anyway. Yeah, just wait until ALL his daughters are grown and still living in the house with him and Tree and he says that comment while ALL of them are on their periods at the same time (including Teresa unless she is on menopause) I can just see Milania when she gets promoted from brat to bitch, SHUT YOUR TRAP YOU OLD TROLL GIVE ME PIZZA I’M ON MY PERIOD!!

Jacqueline and Chris decide to walk off to talk shit about what a wackadoo Teresa is. Chris gets tired and decides to suddenly jump on Jacqueline’s back for a piggy back ride back to the hotel while kicking her on the sides and grabbing her boobs yelling “YAH!! YAH!!”

While this is going on the Rat Pack, Albie, Christopher and Gregg decide they are going to spy on Barney Devito and Teresa doing it while they are both in the bathroom. EEEWWWW!!! Instead, they end up outside the bathroom window where Teresa is now changing into a mood changing “Wonder Woman, crazy bitch” I’M IGNORING KATHY outfit created by NASA. While the Three Stooges are trying to fish out gossip (for the gossip magazines later,) Barney Devito walks in on them and instead of busting them he thinks they are spying on Tree ”pooping” and he doesn’t care. As a matter of fact he opens the window for them so they can get a whiff too!

That night they all go out to get drunk and into a fist-punching, kick stomping bar brawl, surprisingly with other people NOT with each other. Except Bravo never airs the bar brawl only the earlier part of the evening when the Giudice/Gorga’s were a lovey-dovey-family. Teresa and her brother hug and kiss, Barney Devito and Melissa hug and kiss. Barney and Psycho Midget Joey hug and kiss then, they play swords with each other, to see who is the shortest troll with the smallest itty bitty penis and it’s a tie. It’s all one big dysfunctional happy family-orgy full of hugs kisses and farts. To be honest with you I would rather see this interaction than when they’re drunken bitch slapping each other and of course we all know this didn’t last.

The next day Melissa and Psycho Joe Gorga release some “poison” in the bathroom and the Manzo boys, but specially Man-Servant-Sexy-Gregg feel lucky to walk in on it since Psycho Midget Joey had his little ”Tarzan” “On Display.”

The girls including Miss Gregg all decide to follow Teresa’s lead and go to the market in Punta Cana. They all get dressed up and decked out in their tackiest high heels from head to toe. These bitches think they are all going to the upscale Gucci and Louis Vuitton stores they are all accustomed to. So, when they show up cameras in-tow in all their pampered Princess tacky glory at the open air market the locals where confused and excited. They didn’t know if these bitches where upscale hookers from the USA taking over their little dirty humble, parasite, farm animal carcass infested open air third world market. But they were close. VERY CLOSE! I bet this was the most exciting thing that happened in their little village since that one time that Pedro farted nasty at the public sinks at the plaza. They are going to be talking about this for years to come.

Those bitches walking around on those run down streets as if they where freaking out in a bloody massacre horror film in their five hundred dollar “Gucci’s” on drippy blood were NOT the only things that were ”on display” at that open air market. The carcasses of dead cows and chicken heads were, but it appears their fake titties where upstaging the other things at that meat market. Did y’all see those scary looking locals drooling on those ho’s? Then, Teresa decides to grab a dead chicken and goes on chasing the other bitches with it. Teresa also decides to fan her cooch and ask the confused spice vendor if he ever read her book since she is a famous author and TV Star extraordinaire and even if this humble village doesn’t have any Internet access (except for the local drug lord) Teresa feels that is NO excuse for this quiet humble vendor who doesn’t even understand what the fuck she is saying, to NOT know who she is.

Teresa says the reason she is out in the local market is because she is doing research on writing her third cook book where she will be doing a “fusion” of Italian and Italian food. Except this time instead of using tomatoes, cheese, dough, meat and spices for the base “ingrediencess” she will be using dough, tomatoes, meat and cheese instead. So it’s totally different see.

While the Puta Princesses are out flapping their goods “On Display” for the local village the men go golfing. And when I say golfing they went and treated the golf course like the batting cages. The Godfather is the only one that knows how to golf (since he has to make all those crooked deals with city officials an’ all) and he is appalled and embarrassed he took these ass-mooning, drunken, savage, clowns with him.

That night Barney Devito was surprisingly going horn-dog on Teresa. Maybe it turns him on when she freaks out and goes “crazy bitch” on the other ho’s.

The Manzo boys decide that everything has been too peaceful between the ho’s and want to see a cat-fight so for the final dinner at Punta Cana they decide to have a contest to see who the Puta Cana Princess is. Immediately Teresa starts taking this nonsense serious like her life depends on it and gets this worried look in her face because she is afraid to lose this life or death contest.

They each win some lame ass category. Melissa gets asked who the VP of the United States and the bitch didn’t know his name!

IS THIS DUDE!

Then someone showed her this picture and she suddenly remembered it was Biden. When Melissa gets one more question about world geography she gets another point for naming Antarctica as the continent where Egypt resides because apparently none of these dip-shits know Egypt is in Africa none of them know, not even ex-college drop out Albie, oh wait maybe that’s why he got flunked out of school.

On the very last day of their trip Teresa’s lost bag of faux-jewerlies arrives after it went on its own traveling adventure from Florida to Las Vegas to Hawaii and then back to the Dominican Republic. When Teresa gets her bags she jumps up and down from joy and Greg rolls up his eyes.

Everyone goes back to the United States, after almost half of them got detained for the bar brawl and that was Albie, Barney Devito and Greg.

Melissa is now back in New Jersey and is nervous about her big performance at the Black Water thingy. When she walks in to meet with her professional back up dancers you can tell she is nervous and since she “doesn’t know how to dance worth shit” like Ritchie said in an earlier episode she can’t keep up with the dance steps. This is the reason the strip club place had to make her a bartender instead. Psycho Midget Joe also was trying to rent some live tigers to distract people in case Melissa’s performances flops because what better way to be distracted than to be worried there are two live tigers that can go on a feeding bloody frenzy at any minute in a room packed with about 600 people and one exit.

Then, when she does her singing rehearsal she sounds like a banshee having sex with a werewolf so they auto-tune her real nice and somehow a scientist comes up with a formula that makes her shoes give her rhythm to follow the dance steps. Awesomely she pulls the performance off and turns on all the mens even Barney Devito who congratulates her by giving her a long dry humping hug. Everyone loves each other even Teresa and Kathy get along, Teresa goes as far as apologizing to Kathy for being a crazy asshole. They are all one big happy dysfunctional issue-infested family! For now.