YOU’RE IN HIGH SCHOOL AND WHILE YOU’RE IN HIGH SCHOOL I’M IN BROOKLYN!

On part 1  Alex was asked about going Brooklyn on Jills ass. We get to see the scenes of Alex delivering the ‘messague’, break out in hives and rip Jill’s face off. Alex explains that she got sick of putting up with Jill’s abuse and looking down on her for 3 years.

 Alex expresses that she always felt like tearing Jill a new asshole, but held back because she wanted to feel accepted by the fabulous circle of shit heads she wanted so badly to be part of .So she was forced to be a kiss ass, but finally she got tired of kissing ass and said ‘FUCK IT!’ So she ended up having to let her hidden ‘balls’ come out and tear those stuck up bitches a new one.

Alex flips off LuAnn and before you know it LuAnn starts her shit with Alex, about how Alex jumped in the middle of the Bethenny and Jill wars when it was none of her fucking business. Those 2 bitches are bickering at each other . Alex jumps on  ‘dumb drag queen’ LuAnn and tells that ho’ bag  she is a hypocrite and that she was getting involved too so shut the fuck up.

 LuAnn starts shushing Alex and calls her ‘dahling‘ Alex and Ramona then look at each other and say : what is that dumb drag queen doing? Alex then says she is happy she went Brooklyn on Jill’s ass and says she will do it again too, with the exception that this time she will deliver her own message and not use Bethenny’s message, but would still punch Jill in the mouth the same way she did the first time.

 Jill calls Alex  a ‘coward’ for not delivering her own message to Jill . Jill says that she is not friends with Alex anyways, so she don’t give a rats ass that Alex went ape shit on her.

  All of the sudden Sasquatch tells Alex to cross her legs. Because Sasquatch is the decency police!

Alex tells Jill that she was trying to be cool with Jill and talk to her and shoot the shit, but Jill is such an entitled stup up asshole, that doesn’t want to allow other people whom she feels are below her to be part of the fabulous circle of assholes she runs with. So Alex decided all that useless Jill ass kissing was exhausting and it was easier and more fun to just monkey punch Jill in the nuts.

Jill keeps saying ‘WE’RE NOT FRIENDS!..I NEVER CALLEWD YOU MY FRIEND!’  BITCH YOU’RE A FUCKING PEASANT  WAGE SLAVE!! WE’RE NOT FRIENDS SO FUCK YOU!.

Then Jill throws LuAnn under the bus and says that LuAss was the one talking about Alex’s crazy ass kids, crawling up peoples legs. LuAnn looks at Jill and says OH NO SHE DIND’T!

 Alex tells Jill that she is a backstabbing 2 faced lying bitch, whose being bulliying her for 3 years, telling Alex how to live her life the way Jill sees fit. Alex continues by letting Jill have it some more and says to Jill , bitch you fight dirty you go to gossip columns you plant bullshit stories you’re jealous of everybody, you try to get people not to film with other people! Jill’s fangs come out and hisses at Alex ‘Just because you say it it doesn’t make it true’ .Damn! did you see that? That’s Jill being defensive because SHE KNOWS IT’S TRUE!

 Alex gets asked by Andy why she forgave Ramona and Bethenny when they were also rude and Bethenny called Simon ‘revolting’ but Alex says its because once she smacked them around a little bit, they were cool. And never said anything bad about Alex or gay ass Simon again. Jill keeps reminding Alex they’re not friends and that Alex was ‘channeling the devil’ during fashion week and she is ugly. Then she gives Alex a fake ass apology.

Then Andy says what’s with the hives bitch? Alex says its because she desperately needs a tan.Pobrecita! And then Andy asked why Simom is a bloated fat ass  this year and Alex says it’s because he quit smocking crack. Then Alex proudly says he will starts smocking crack again soon and be in speedoes next year ! Andy gets all excited and says that we all have something to look forward to specially him! EEEEWWW!!!  Someone needs to tell Simon not to wear those speedos for American TV he needs to wear the baggy gangsta shorts like a decent person none of that European up your ass thong  shit on my TV . PLEASE!

‘THE RAMONA COASTER!’

Then it’s Ramona’s turn and of course they show the Ramona coaster clips of all her crazy shenanigans all the way down to the wedding renewal. Andy tells Ramona that she smacked everyone with a 2 by 4. Andy reads an email to Ramona about how she didn’t renew shit and she is still a crazy rude bitch who likes to spit on people  .

Ramona insist that she changed. Alex says people shouldn’t expect Ramona to change and suddenly just be ‘mellow’ and this is Ramona we’re talking about its pretty good for Ramona the changes she made.

 Then Ramona tells LuAss her ridiculous one shoulder Wilma Flintstone dress is a ugly cheap whore getup.

 Another email for Ramona this one asking Ramona if she had plastic surgery . Ramona says she doesn’t remember how old she  is and she didn’t have plastic surgery.Andy asks Ramona what injectables she had and she in turn ask Andy what injectables he’s had and he says ‘none’. I guess no one wants to admit the work they’ve had.

 Then of course Ramona gets called crazy eyes and reminded of her scary crazy  eye- cat walk on the runway were she was ‘channeling the devil’. And you can tell Ramona doesn’t like getting teased over her eyes, because she gets all crazy eyes and attitudy on Andy .

 Then Ramona gets asked about flirting with that old fart from ‘Hooters’ and Kelly starts preaching to Ramona because St. Kelly doesn’t do  indiscretions like that, unless it involves spreading her huge hairy Sasquatch legs naked for Playboy for a couple bucks.

 Ramona says she likes to kiss and grind on everyone and Mario was cool with it because he was with his girlfriend at the time anyways, so it’s all good. Then Alex says that Ramona made out with all of the other bitches while on vacation.  

Jill then gets asked for  being a total  insane bitch at the Ramona , ’Tru Renewal’ party, were she  took  revenge on Ramona for ruining her Kodak moment. We get another fake apology from Jill.

And back to Ramona for punching Beth in the face at the Brooklyn bridge. Ramona starts to apologize to Bethenny for being an asshole. But Kelly gets jealous because this is not about her . So in order to make it about herself, Kelly starts to  psycho hostile, attack Ramona and calls herself stupid while punching herself in the head repeating ‘Stupid Kelly! Stupid Kelly!’ (That’s because Kelly knows she is stupid and this is her way of acknowledging it !)

Then Bethenny gets asked about her happy life now that she won the lotto and getting everything  she wanted like Jason, and a  baby. Well you bitches know already. We see the clips of Bethenny and all the good stuff thats being happening to her. And they show the clips of Beth and her hot man. Bethenny says Jason is a good player who is not Facebooking  or Tweeting or Twaating and it is what is is. Bethenny says she  is happy with her new baby and husband and starts crying.

 And of course they dont’ show Kellys face. I bet she was grinding her teeth in jealousy. Bethenny is back to being the skinny girl again in less than a couple weeks, after farting out that baby. Beth says she only gained 35 lbs. She is kinda like a skeleton with huge boobies. Bethenny gets addressed about the  ‘media whore’ accusations . Beth says she is not a ‘media whore’, but she will use the press to make that green. Good for that bitch.

Then Kelly gets asked why she called Bethenny a ‘media whore’  and accused Bethenny of putting her bussiness out there. Kelly keeps pointing fingers at Bethenny and accusing her of putting her business out there of course, Kelly is a crazy delusional lying bitch and we all know that. When Bethenny asks Sasquatch if she can provide proof  and name publications that Bethenny talked shit to about Kelly, stupid ass Sasquatch Kelly cannot even pull a bullshit lie out of her butthole if it was to save her life and at least come up with a bunk publication name and stupid Kelly she gets caught in a lie and she knows it. So she starts to  scramble up a lie but fails miserably at it so she just starts attacking Bethenny by acting dumb. What a MORON!  

Sasquatch ass Kelly,  keeps going on and on saying she is not going to answer Bethenny and starts sweating because she knows she is lying and tries to change the argument to something else  by saying ‘What are you doing right now?!’  And Bethenny answers like a normal person “I’m responding to something that you’ve said!’

 By this time Kelly was able to come up with half a lie and starts saying some shit about ‘the people that worked for Bethenny planting lies about Sasquatch’s family in the press. Alex says to Kelly‘I never read anything about you’re family in the press!’ I don’t think anybody did either.

 Kelly just keeps sinking deeper in her self made bullshit hole and drowning in it! I was embarrased for this idiot!  Then she starts with Alex and tells her ‘Alex Mccord don’t ever put words in my mouth’ and Alex says I didn’t you asshole! We’re done! Andy shuts this conversation down because of course that beast is crazy and Andy knows they getting nowhere.

 Then the peeing moment. Andy asks Bethenny were she draws the line on what is being shown on TV because this season we’ve seen Beth sitting on the crapper peeing on a stick.

 Bethenny says when she starts fucking Jason on camera then arrange an intervention.Horny Countless LuAnn says’ Thats a new show dahling!’And gets all exicted because she wants to see Jason nakid too. I wonder what Jason thinks of the peeing scene. Bethenny was like whatves I don’t care that I peed on TV . I think she should of close the door. No shit!

Kelly says she needed to be the director during that scene.

Some other email calls Kelly a fly and says that Bethenny used an AK 47 to take that fly out. LuAnn was laughing at Kelly for being crazy and a retard whore and you could tell Kelly wasnt liking that shit cause she was looking down all sad when LuAnn was calling her stupid and pointing out the fact that Kelly has mental problems. Insert sad music here for Kelly Bensimoron Sasquatch.

Ramona got hot in her crotch I think she is having a hot flash or she is farting a wet, smelly, hot one.

Then of course the on going Vietnam war between Jill and Beth gets discussed . Starting of course with Bitch ‘Get a hobby!’And we see the clips of Jill running away from Bethenny, when she was trying to make up with her and Bethenny is painfully watching this shit about to cry.

Jill is acting as if she cares.  You can see during the clips that at first Jill didn’t want to talk to Bethenny anymore, but once Bethenny gets engaged  is when Jill’s attitude starts to morph and suddenly Jill, wanted  to make up with Bethenny and be friends again. By that time Bethenny didn’t want to talk to Jill anymore. Then we see Jill crying and saying she thinks Beth should forgive her.

  Jill and her hooker green stilettos,  look like she bought them at the Leprechaurn whore store. Jill says the power of the evil Satan cameras made her say the evil poison that spewed out of her mouth then she apologizes to Bethenny, (and pretended like she really meant it!) cries some more cocodrile tears  and calls herself a ‘New York Bitch’.

 Jill says she stayed away from Bethenny to not stress her out because Bethenny was preggers before. Beth says what happens was they were friends and Beth tells Jill the fame and famewhoring took over Jill. Jill turned into a crazy bitch.

Jill gets reminded that she is a bitch who counts everyting and rubs shit in your face. Jill gets called out on being the bitch that gives you a bagel and then talks about it for weeks to everybody on megaspeaker. Bethenny reminds Jill how she said ‘we are done!’ and also how she tried to  get people to not film with Beth.

 Then they all started taking over each other. LuAnn says they all try to sabotage filming with each other, like a pit of snakes. Alex tells Jill she is a bitch and reminds her she emailed Simon telling him to not film with Bethenny. She also confronts Jill on trying to ‘cut Bethenny out of housewives’.

Jill was getting scrambly and nervous trying to come up with good excuse-lies to justify her actions and asks Alex to show her the email.Alex tells her she is not crazy like Jill, keeping emails for 17 months.

 Jill tries to say she didn’t want to make up with Beth on camera  but off camera meaning she was pushing that drama.

Jill then tries to spew out another excuse and says that, she just didn’t want to make up with Beth because it was too early in the morning or some stupid shit like that. They bickered back and forth for like 20 min. Bethenny tells Jill she is a hypocrite ho’.

Bethenny says she herself did change but Jill is still a Bitch. Beth doesn’t believe that Jill has changed even thought Jill is now trying to pretend to change her tune. Bethenny says that  Jason didn’t like Jill much since the day he met her because Jill can be a snotty materialistic Bitch.

 Jill turns on the water works and starts crying and leaves with her green Leprechaurn whore-stilettos on. Kelly starts her shit because her meth kicks in and says that the fame is embarrassing or some shit . That bitch of course doesn’t make sense.

 

 

Part 2

Jill comes back or else they would of fire her ass. Andy looks at Bethenny and reminds Bethenny of the comment she made about Jill when she said that ‘the tides are  turning on Jill and that’s the reason why were having this conversation’ . Beth says that Jill always wants people to like her.

 Alex says that Jill doesn’t give a rats ass about the friendship with Bethenny going to shit  .  Alex says that Jill is only apologetic because she only cares that she looked like an asshole to the public and now everyone hates her. Because everyone now knows how she really is . Bethenny confronts Jill about how she only wanted to make up with Beth to look like a good person after  Jill heard that Beth got engaged and then pregnant .

Andy asks Bethenny why she wasn’t ready to make up with Jill when Jill was ready to make up with her. Bethenny answers  that it was because she was preggers and stressed out from all the bullshit  and had some blood clot. (I bet the stress that Bigfoot caused her in scary island contributed to her being sick while preggers). Then more bickering and talking over each other went on.

Andy says that Simon told him that Jill is a jelaous bitch and hates it when other people get more fame for their famewhoring and Jill hates it that Bethenny got her own show.

 Jill of course denies it and tries to kiss Bethennys ass. Jill says she is supportive and Simon is a lying shit-head who wears dresses. Then she goes on a spewage bullshit about how she  is supportive of every single one of the other bitches and mentions all their names even Ramona, but except Alex (notice how she never mentions Alex and look at Alex she is looking at Jill like she is channeling the devil like Sasquatch would say).

Ramona says that’s bullshit and that Jill called her up when Beth got her show and told her to not talk to Beth or film with her. Jill gets all pissed at Ramona and yells ‘YOU ARE SUCH A LIAR! ’ denies, denies, denies!

 Jill keeps apologizing to Bethenny. Kelly is pissed Bethenny didn’t want her in the show, because they don’t really know each other.UH?! Stupid bigfoot. 

Jill says she was shocked that Bethenny’s dad died. Then blames Alex for not telling her that Bethenny’s dad was dying then. They all talk over each other and Andy has to referee their asses.

Alex yells at Jill and tells that bitch she is a liar because Alex did tell Jill about Beth’s dad situation  and yells at her for not calling Bethenny.Kelly keeps trying to suck up to Jill but nobody listens. Alex yells at Jill and says, Bitch it was online you moron!

Andy brings up that Jill played the cancer card and she holds on to voice mail  messages for ever, like a weirdoe.

More arguing goes on and Jill says that they were  issues that where edited out.Bethenny says lets just murder Jill . Another email gets read were another reader rags on Jill and her showing her true colors. Jill can’t take it anymore because she knows it’s true and  tries to get up and leave again while crying because she got called out on all her shit and knows she is wrong.

Even Sonja came out and of course the only questions that they asked was ‘how many times you’re getting laid in a week come on Sonja!’. Sonja says she is worried about Sasquatch not getting laid enough. Kelly says she never had a one night stand but spreading her legs for Playboy for everyone and their grandpapi to see it’s okay.

Sonja Gonzo continues her talks about how much she likes sex and admits she is a hooker because she has a lot of satisfied ‘customers’. I KNEW IT! Sonja also admits she was a waitress at some puterio and thats how she met her suga papi.Then they went on talking about the settlement that Sonja got after divorcing her sugar grandpapi and I don’t really care about that so lets just move on.

 Jill admited that the one liners dind’t work for her this season and she is giving the throne back to Bethenny. Alex realizes that this is the phrase that Kelly used when she insulted her at scary island and told her she was channeling the devil. I think Alex should channel the devil to monkey punch bigfoot in he mouth.

Then Bethenny calls LuAnn a dumb drag queen that grew a penis after her husband left herass.Bethenny says that Countless was a bitch ‘drag queen’ and Bethenny bullied and nailed her silly ass but after that,  they were cool again.I can’t believe LuAnn was laughing about Bethenny calling her ass a ‘drag queen’. Maybe there’s a glimpse of hope for that Bitch.

Andy asked the ho’s if they are aware that when they’re in public ripping each others face off  there is people around. Methinks is the ghetto in each of these bitches that never left them so they are immune to public embarrassment. Even though LuAnn tries to say she is embarrassed but we all know that’s bullshit.

LuAnn says she likes to kiss and Sonja tries to turn Andy straight.

 The meltdown with Kelly gets discussed and Kelly scary island clips are shown of her bulldozing every body’s vacation and of her accusing Bethenny of trying to kill her. Of course Kelly is not admitting shit.

Bitch is sitting there saying I never said that that’s not me. Did you see Andy’s terrified look on his face? and of course Kelly says she was a victim of systematic bullying and bitch kept on and on accusing everybody else of bullying her when all the bullying was being done by her crazy ass.

Never did this retarded cunt, ever admit that she was the crazy one who shit all over that vacation and the one who attacked the other women , while snorting line after line of meth . Kelly kept  rambling on her insanity spewage, Ramona said this stupid whore doesn’t make sense and she just wants to jump on Kelly and punch her in the throat. I’m sure at this point even Andy feels that way.

Kelly keeps saying she had no break down but break through. Andy just looks at her like ,are you serious bitch?. Ramona is gonna bust a vein through her asshole because she can’t take the crazyness from this dumb broad anymore.

 Kelly pulls another lie out of her hairy Bigfoot ass and says that the producers had to have  an intervention, of camera with Bethenny, which obviously never happened. Bethenny calls her ‘delusional’ And she is .Is this bitch so strung out on drugs and delusional she is actually believing this shit? Kelly sits there making up bullshit stories she continues to  ramble things that never took place and everyone is looking at her in disgust, confusion and horror .

Kelly says she is a scarecrow and a stupid idiot then her dumb ass throws another bullshit lie up in the air hoping it it will stick,by saying  that she was ‘forced’ at gun point to go on this trip by Bravo and Andy tells her THAT’S BULLSHIT BITCH! But of course there is no arguing with  a crazy demented Sasquatch bitch  who suffers from schizoprenia  and a serious case of asshole  . Kelly  answers Andy with her dialeted meth pupils and says all in a psychotic tone ‘yes they did everyone knows that they forced me Andy , Bravo forced me!’

 You could tell Andy and Ramona wanted to get up and knock that bitch the fuck out.  And of course  stupid ass LuAnn tries to defends Kelly but eventually even she admits Kelly  instigated alot of the shit, because it is so OBVIOUS!  Kelly kept saying it was disgusting and says’ I was embarrased’ Bethenny tells her ,‘you should be embarrased’ bitch. But of course Sasquatch is not embarrased for herself  like she should be . I am embarrassed for her. No, seriously I was.

It’s funny how Kelly says ,’ it was disgusting’ and ‘the most vile situation I’ve ever been in my entire life’  and blah blah blah. It’s so hilarious in an ironic demented way how she describes herself to a ‘T” when she is saying it was ‘disgusting’ and ’vile’but then twistes it and says, it was the other bitches being disgusting and vile. What a weirdoe! The other Bitches told her ass she was crazy and should go to the loony bin so that’s when it was her turn to throw a fit  and decides to get up, leave and take her mentally unstable ass  to got snort more meth.

 

“She just makes up whatever she wants to say. She’s going to tell me she’s an African American Asian woman in a minute. And we’re like okay, no, you’re not.”

Part 3

After Bethenny says that Kelly is a crazy mentally ill ho’ and next she is gonna say that she is an Asian African American woman who  just makes up anything she wants and acts like  the meltdown she had in scary island never happened, which is dangerous. All the bitches kept bringing up how this ho was picking fights and Bethenny says that Kelly was kicked out of scary island, ‘escorted by a producer’ .(It took 7 guys in yellow jackets with nets to trap her crazy ass  before they threw her in the van headed for the loony bin) 

Kelly reminds me of the loser turds they show on that show ‘Intervention’. Yep, that’s they show that Kelly should be on. All the other bitches  Ramona, Beth, Sonja and Alex are talking about how Kelly was crazy and mental, bullying people and pissing on peoples food. Sonja says that after the crazy bitch left they were all happy.  Kelly suddenly comes back. Did ya’ all noticed how that bitch was licking her lips like a crackhead when she came back? UHHMMM?!!

Kelly  is being all attitudy like always then she starts her shit with Bethenny again. Sonja mentions that Bethenny was not picking fights with the beast she was minding her own business cooking for everyone while on vacay. But Kelly has to start throwing her meth induced attacks and says ‘She wasn’t cooking the chef was cooking for her‘ ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?! SHE ATE THE FOOD SHE SAW BETHENNY COOKING?!

Kelly obviously doesn’t like that the other bitches are all calling her out on her psychotic episode which she pretends never happened.

 

Ramona reminds Kelly  bitch’ you told me you don’t have feelings’ yeah, I guess Kelly told Ramona that throught her marriage she had no feelings. UHH? Then Kelly calls Ramona  a drunk . Kelly says that the other bitches should apologize to her because she is Kelly. But then Ramona tells her she should apologize for ruining their vacation. I agree but to Sasquatch that doesn’t mean shit because she is an asshole.

 Andy asked Kelly if she recovered from her mental breakdown she answers ‘recover from what?’   The other ho’s and Andy are giving each other some confused, horrified looks.See this bitch is in so much denial she needs to be in a insane asylum for the criminally insane and please put Joker Face in there with her and Bravo can film them. ( I better shut up before I give those bastards ideas) Andy asks her again if she went coo coo ca too but Kelly continues to act like nothing happened with her whole going ape shit  spectacle  she so psychotically displayed at the vacation. I bet  she’s  flipped out like this before,  that’s why it don’t face her that everybody is telling her that she is crazy to her face.

 And why does Kelly asks those bitches if they’re jealous ? Jealous of what? That she has a pinga between her hairy legs? I don’t get it ? What are they supposed to be jealous of? Embarrassed for Kelly maybe, jealous I don’t think so.

 

Andy brings up how  once Kelly was escorted out of the island by the men with nets Jill had to show up to put a final turd on top of their already ruined vacation. And of course the clips are played so these bitches relieve the nightmare.

 

Sonja Gonzo says they threw  a friend out and she deserved it because bitch didn’t call and that was rude. Sonja also says that Jill could of made up with Bethenny in New York instead of flying out there stirring more drama.

Jill says she went because Ramona had insisted she go to that vacay with her.

Ramona asks Jill why did she not meet Sasquatch ass Kelly at the airport after she went ape shit to make sure she gets to the loony bin safe but Jill says that Kelly was chained and shackled safely in a cage and she also doesn’t  give a rats ass  about Kelly anyways. Plus Jill also denies Kelly’s obvious and various mental diseases fueled by meth.

Jill then looks at Ramona and yells , and by the way thanks a lot bitch, for not letting me and Bobby use your shitter after a 9 hour flight! Then a screamin match between Ramona and Jill .

Jill blames Alex for getting kicked out of the pedicure party .Jill is going full throttle after this bitch now.

Kelly accuses Alex of ‘acting’ because Kelly thinks other people do the same shit she does, all the time.Kelly kept instigating more shit I think the roids are kicking in about here. Bitch is like a ranging bull, but keeps saying she was bullied . Yeah this is coming from this shemale that beat up her own boyfriend with her manly fists. This bitch is embarrassing and she just keeps embarrassing herself . But she doesn’t realize this shit.

 

Andy then picks on LuAss the Countless. Andy brings up the short lesbian Courtney and LuAnn makes a lame ass excuse for not kissing him. Bitch tries to say it was because she wasn’t ready to kiss him .LuAnn doesn’t admit the short lesbian breath rieked like the inside of a coffin that was just dug up from the grave. Andy asks LuAnn about the current boyfriend Jac the french guy who is also Jewish and asks LuAnn  if the Count is racist asshole against Jewish people. LuAnn tries to say it was some other lame excuse that had to do with her but no one was buying it. 

Did you all notice how when Andy asked her if she fucked around on the Count she says I don’t have to answer shit bitch. In other words yes I did it ain’t none your bussines. See easy. Ramona tells LuAnn bitch you just admited it by saying that dumbass!  We discovered that LuAnn’s title wil be striped once she remarries. LuAnn says she deserves at least her courtesy title.

 Andy said that Courtney got emails for being a short stinky lesbian.  LuAnn says that right now, she is still fucking him in addition to new  boy toy Jac .And LuAnn makes Jac and Courtney play tennis matches against each other and whoever wins gets to fuck her.NICE! Andy tells LuAnn that Kim Zolciak said that LuAnns song sucked ass and LuAnn answers, fuck that bitch Kim!

Then a trip to Kelly land again Andy questions her about her contradictions of being a prude but then being naked on Playboy. This bitch seriously defends being on Playboy to give her daughters self steem. EUUKKAAAYY THEN!

 When Alex got asked about the pictures she took naked and how there was a double standard between hers and Kellys Playboy pictures Jill jumps in and says that the scary Alex pictures can’t be compared to Kellys. Because Alex pictures where creepy and taken at Simons hotel hallway. Jill made sure she repeated this to get Simon fired from the hotel because she hates people who are not rich like her and she never changed she is the same bitch she is always being.

In the end nothing really got resolved with all these ho’sand it was a very loong3 part reunion. However I didn’t expect anything to get resolved especially with Sasquatch Kelly in the mix. Andy should of had the loony bin squad phone number on speed dial just in case he needed to call them during the reunion . Bravo really needs to stop exploiting this mentally ill beast.

 Bravo is the new version of the of the traveling circus freak shows, that used to exploit people back in the day for being deformed freaks and Andy is the ring master. We’ll see what happens next season and if they bring Sasquatch back or will they be filming her from the insane asylum? Untill next season bitches.

Since both these Bitche’s mother’s conceived them on top of the same pentagram, were they got gang banged by different demons and goats on the night that they were participating in that one orgy hosted by satan , making them both sisters from different mothers. Joker Face found a kindred spirit in Kelly Sasquatch ; and send her a messague that she can come talk to her any time because she feels for poor Kelly getting bullied by the other ho’s. (Rolling eyes!)

Also insanity Kelly dropped a couple of hits of acid and snorted some meth with extra embalming fluid, then she released an anti-bullying PSA, were of course she rambles on repeating all the bullshit that the voices in her head tell her to say. Kelly still believes  in her little demented head ,that she was being bullied by the other ho’s .  Just like she believes she had a ‘breakthrough’ and not a ‘breakdown’. Just keep telling yourself that Sasquatch! And the funny part is, this delusional twat thinks that everyone else believes her. Maybe when the guys with the yellow jackets come and pick her ass up for her next visit to the insane asylum, she should take Joker Face with her so that they can both have a much needed vacation.

 

No shit! Jill Zarin’s insanity and evil ways has driven people to write out a petition to kick her off the show! Never in all the house wrecks history has a woman pissed off people so much,that they are petitioning to fire her from Real Housewives. WOW!

Click here for the link to the petition. Thanks to reader Rebecca.

Last Friday when Bethenny went into labor several reliable sources posted that she had gone into early labor . However nothing official was posted that she gave birth . 

Suddenly a Tweeter by the name of TweetMaxine had Tweeted that Bethenny had delivered a baby boy, and later on that day, Jill Zarin took to her FaceBook and posted that Bethenny had delivered a 6 pound baby boy.

 After Jill posted that bullshit announcement Radaronline had also posted the same thing. I bet Jill is the one that called them and then they posted that, I dind’t see anything anywhere else that was more reliable or solid that said otherwise . The next day on Saturday is when Bethenny abtually delivered her baby girl and an official announcement was made on Eonline.

 Sometime after that I believe it was Sunday Jill hid behind her daughter Ally and stated that Ally had read a Tweet and a blog that Bethenny delivered a boy on Friday and this was the reason Jill went and delivered those news because she was excited.  This was Jill’s explanation:

“Yesterday [my daughter] read a tweet and blog that Bethenny gave birth. We were excited and congratulated her obviously prematurely. I should have waited until B announced it herself. Sorry.”

What a fucking liar! I searched everywhere Friday to see if Bethenny delivered a boy and the only place that said that was Radaronline which like I said before I bet Jill is the one that called them to tell them of Bethenny’s fake delivery. Jill is also trying to make good with everyone and of course including Bethenny and set up a photoshoot of her buying the baby a gift. She thinks if she buys baby a gift all is good again. Dumb Ass!

  

Simon Van Kempen also clowned on Jill and  send these Tweets Saturday:

“A new best seller “The Lies of Susan Saunders” syndicated in a gossip column near you. (Warning – hide your cat)”

“Nothing secret about it RT @_StephanieLeigh @simonvankempenI think Jill’s next book should be entitled “Secrets of a gossiping jewish yenta.”

Will any of you Bitches be signing the petition or do you think Jill is good for drama?

 

Check this shit out , a reader by the name of Mandy N  left on my comments . She states a friend of hers works for Jill Zarin deleting all negative comments from her Facebook and blocking people who talk shit to Jill. There you go if anyone needs a job maybe Jill can hook you up with one and it pays good too!

Here is the readers comment this was posted a few days ago I just got lazy to post it on the main board:

Would you be so kind and let Jill Zarin know that paying someone to help her keep her facebook fan page clean, is pathetic. I have a friend who gets paid $25.00 an hour for monitoring and deleting all the nagative nelly stuff that Jill Zarin haters post. She told me she was gonna start taking her time so she can really make some money. She works up to 10 hours a day and on Thursdays, sometime 17 plus hours . The reason she has to work so long on Thursday is because after the show airs, Jill\’s FB page gets slammed so my friend is extra busy. She has STRICT orders from JILL to BLOCK any person who makes NEGATIVE comments. (I couldn\’t believe this so I tryed it, I too am now a blocked \”FAN\”…. As a matter of fact there are a lot of people on her FB page that are complaining about their comments being deleted, however because they are making comments, it\’s obvious they haven\’t been blocked yet. The other HW don\’t do that, why is Jill Zarin trying to control something she has absolutely NO control over? Hey Nik, tell Jill that no matter how much money she pays someone, the message the haters have will prevail! Jill Zarin is a mean girl who thinks she can BUY her way out of a pickle…Well Jill get ready to break the money train, because after this you\’re going need to hire a lot more staff to DEFEND your FB page. Thanks in advance
Mandy N

Jill Zarin just won’t learn. Last week she statedthat she felt embarrased by acting a fool towards Bethenny :

“Every season [of Real Housewives] I say it is my last! Who knows … they haven’t asked anyone back yet.” She also admits she “absolutely” wishes she had handled her fight with Bethenny Frankel differently. “I think I was out of my mind … Bobby, empty nest thoughts, and private matters. I am embarrassed.”

But although she says she felt embarrassed by her grade school mean girl behaviour, she keeps doing things to dig herself deeper and deeper in that quick sand shithole she got herself stuck in. And now her dumb ass went and wrote her own reviews on Amazon. Never mind her feeling embarrassed shit, I feel embarrassed I used to like this Bitch! She used the name Susan Saunders for her Amazon reviews, and thought she was slick, but didn’t think people were gonna click on the name and see that it clearly is Jill Zarin because when people were clicking on the profile this is what they got:

  

This list is for: Jill Shapiro

Ship-to: Jill Shapiro – New York, NY

Birthday: November 30

About me: Daughter is Allyson Paige Shapiro

Shapiro was Jill’s last name before she married Bobby and became Jill Zarin.

Update Click Here for the shit Jill told a Reviewer that she threatened. I should posted that before oops.

 

I believe she deleted this information by now, because she realized people caught on to her bullshit. And this was not the only review people believe she was writing for her own book. What I don’t get is how stupid or lazy can you be, to not go and make a brand new profile rather than using your own profile that people can easily click on and see that it’s you! What a dumb ass!

There is also crap loads of gossips going around about Jill and her shenanigans. Apparently her sister and mother think she is a pain in the ass , and have only been putting up with her spoiled bitch antics, because of the book. Her sister Lisa who I heard is a real nice person wrote most of that book, but Jill is trying to get all the credit for it, because she wants to be rich and famous at all cost.(I wonder if Lisa used to do Jill’s homework when they were kids).

Click here for the original article were I read all these news!

It is also rumored that Jill’s mom is a mean old lady who treats people like shit and swears like a truck driver.(Nothing wrong with cursing a little!) But the rumors say she is a mean old bitty and Gloria and Lisa both , have stated that Jill is nothing but a spoiled, self centered, hot chaotic mess, who cannot even keep any friendships since she was a child.

Lisa Wexler’s son also got into it with Andy Cohen over last weeks Whatch What Happens. He got pissed off about the questions Andy was asking his Grama-ma Gloria; here are the tweets:

  

@Bravoandyon behalf of the Wexlers, we just feel bad that you trashed your reputation on your own show. TOO FUNNY

Bravoandyand no amount of [expletive deleted] talk about Jill can save you from the shame of asking an 80 yr old woman what she thought about ron jeremy 

 and Andy’s reply

  JonWexler87 it was all in fun and she was a great sport.

 

 

 

The other rumors goin around state that when Bethenny found out she was getting her own show SHE, was the one scared to tell Jill for fear Jill was going to bite her head off, Ozzie Ozbourne style. Which she did. Bethenny asked Jill to make a guest appearance on her show and Jill accepted but when Bethenny left, Jill then went and told a room full of people that she hopes Bethenny’s show flops , and  said that SHE is the supa star of the show and SHE should have her own show and wouldn’t be caught dead on Bethenny’s show. It appears Jill is very jealous of Bethenny.

 

 

Jill also refused to go to Bethenny’s wedding because she is a Bitch.  

  

  

  

Everyone has been wondering what’s up with Jill Zarin and all the venom she has been spewing this season to Bethenny Frankel. Jill started out as a fan favorite I admit she was one of my faves also. But this season a new side of Jill has surface a dark side that even I think is too evil. And this is me. So if I think that’s very eeevilll then it’s pretty bad.

Now Bethenny will be going on her own show Bethenny’s getting married and  this is the reason Jill is furious and is suing  Bethenny because Jill claims it was her idea to spin off making it a show about Jill and Beth but now Beth is getting her own show because she stole Jill’s idea !

  Over the last few episodes we have seen Jill constantly emotionally abuse Bethenny to the point of tears while Bethenny pretty much begged her on her knees to reconciliate just to have Jill seek pit bull Countless LuAnn jump Bethenny bodyguard style and shred her to pieces.

Then we have witnessed both bitches gang up on Bethenny. Now people are even posting shit about how Jill Zarin is the most hated housewife and all sorts of rumors and other things are coming out about this whole hate filled season Jill has provided us with so gracefully since, you know, the producers told her to according to Jill.

Thanks to Aguardiente who posted this link . It has a lot of juicey gossip!. The blogger is talking about how during the airing of the show East Coast time there are producers tweeting among each other talking shit about the show and what not, and they have made fun of the Countless and talk shit about Jill.

Other rumors that are surfacing  are that Jill is a bitch and a pain in the ass and the producers cannot stand her so that may be the reason for them trying to edit her in a bad light and why they told her to“bring the drama or lose the apple”.,  Jill has used this as her reason for the way she has behaved this last season and says the producers told her that if she don’t act like a raving fucking nightmare bitch from hell she won’t be on the show anymore. 

 Jill also went on a recruiting campaign getting some other ho’s to jump on the I hate Bethenny Frankel wagon including that bitch from Millionaire Matchmaker Patty Stanger, NeNe Leakes and Teresa Guidice. But surprisingly now none of them ho’s are saying anything else. Could it be they don’t want to be associated with the most hated housewife in history?

Jill has also hired a new PR person and has protected her Tweets so people don’t read what she is up to . All this after thousands of fans are dumping her ass and there are thousands of hate comments geared towards Jill on Facebook, which by the way she is now trying to clean it up since she returned from a vacation in Israel.  Other insider scoops are a spoiler, that someone pregnant will be physically slapped during the reunion show.  Bethenny ? NO!  

Also there are rumors that Jill was cheating on Bobby when he was recovering from cancer. Whaaaa? And that the real reason Jill fired her gay husband Brad and why she and Bethenny are fighting it’s because Bethenny and Brad did not agree with Jill’s cheating ways.

Check out these Tweets and links it even talks about Gretchen Rossi  and her wedding to Slimey and  that Raquel who is Lynne Curtins oldest daughter is pregnant and Lynn is about to become a grandmother! It also says that Alexa may be pregnant and have an abortion, and also read the part where it talks about Lynne getting dragged to rehab in the paddy waggon after showing up  drunk  to the fitting (probably to Gretchen’s fitting to be one of the brides maids) and shredding a wedding dress while crying! Also notice how Jill’s Tweet is protected:

Bethenny @JillzarinJill made all kinds of threats to take legal action ‘gainst Bethenny….THAT’s when B made remark about “Hobby” 11:02 AM Apr 5th

 

 Bethenny’s boyfriend asks Bethenny why she is kicking it at home and not baking him a pie. She tells him she was at the Jill Stuart fashion show  earlier but it doesn’t make a difference telling him the name of the designer, since Jason wouldn’t know who  the designer is anyways since he is not a fashionista like Simon. Jason was all trying to look into the robe that Beth was wearing and asks her why she didn’t call him during lunch for a quickie.

Then Bethenny fills upgrade Jason in, on the cat fighting drama between Jill and her, and tells Jason she had to fight LuAnn also again. Bethenny is also tripping on the whole thing with Jill, holding on to that phone message she left her telling Jill to ‘get a hobby’ .

I think Jill did get a hobby and her new hobby is, playing that message for everybody. Bethenny is creeped out on that shit and says it is bordering ’single white female’.  Jason tells her that Jill is immature and that Bethenny should punch her in the throat next time she runs into her.

Bethenny says she also don’t want to see LuAnn’s face who is also bigger than Jason and hairier too. Jason wants Bethenny to concentrate on their moving in together living situation arrangement and Bethenny says she has boyfriend, booze and books, her boyfriend says nice the 3 B’s you don’t need bitches!

Then LuAnn and Kelly go out on a date to the Pamella Rolland fashion show . Suddenly Bethenny shows up and all hell breaks loose, between LuAnn and Bethenny when LuAnn asks Bethenny what the fuck are you doing here bitch? The Bitches take photos with some washed up soap opera star. And the argument between Bethenny and LuAnn continues in front of that soap star chick.

That Bitch was probably laughing at them and glad she is a real paid actress and not some d-rated bravolebrity ho’ that’s just one step above Jerry Springer. HA HA HA! Love it! Those Bitches kept going at it too, Bethenny tells LuAnn‘I don’t like you I don’t trust you and I thing you’re a snake!’ Right before she head butts her and walks away.

LuAnn just kept saying to Bethenny ‘you’re nasty, you’re nasty, you’re nasty!’. Then Bethenny tells LuAnn to quit defending Jill since Jill goes around all of NYC talking shit about how LuAnn was dick hoping all over NYC and the Hamptons. Boy that Bitch sure gets around!  Those Bitches are ghetto I love them! Then Kelly says‘Stooop, Stooop! You guys are embarrassing me!’  you guys are ghetto ass bitches!

While they were sitting down they kept on bickering back and forth. LuAnn was talking shit about Bethenny, in front of Bethenny to Kelly saying shit like ‘did you see her face?! she is a mad dog !  I’m gonna have to kick her ass! 

That whole shit fest just kept escalating, until they both started bitch slapping each other and Kelly was rigth in the middle of it so Kelly got smacked a couple of times by LuAnn  by accident. Bethenny accidentally smacked Kelly like 6 times also ‘ACCIDENTALY!’

While all this was going on, the show just kept going on. The fashion models just kept walking the runway, without missing a beat, because this kind of shit happens all the time at these fashion shows so it doesn’t faze anybody anymore. Is like Saturdays at the OC Santa Ana Swap Meet after the first of the month, when them welfare Bitches, you know Tamra and what’s her chankla face Lynne, pick up their checks. These Bitches are exactly the same except they have mo’ money and they’re not getting evicted.

Bitches like these like to get into all kinds of cat fighting bitch brawls.  Kelly decides to move her seat because she got tired of sitting in the middle and getting smacked around, so she goes and sits next to that soap opera chick and leaves LuAnn and Bethenny to continue their bitch smack fest .

 

 Ramona takes her teenage offspring to her first fashion show . Avery thinks all the fashions are lame and she is bored. Kelly plops next to Ramona. And farts. Then she confronts Ramona about not inviting her to that one Labor Day party she had, and Ramona says it was because she didn’t want Kelly there because her and Bethenny would of started a fist fight for sure.

Kelly then tells Ramona that she is going to go to a Perez Hilton party later that night, and is taking Jill but Ramona is not invited so Ramona invites herself and sends her daughter Avery home in a cab alone! Kelly says it bothers her that Ramona send her daughter home in a cab alone in NYC and I for one agree with Big Foot. She is making sense these days!

 Poor Avery looks scared and says to her mom ‘I’m going by myself?’ As Ramona pushes her in the cab with some stranger driving . I didn’t like that shit either! I would never put my little ‘T’ in a cab alone; she is also around the same age as Avery and we live in a little hick California beach town were everybody knows everybody not in a big metropolis like New York City . Poor little Avery she is just a baby!

Next Jill gets felt up by Perez Hilton.

Ramona, LuAnn and Kelly go off to a little gossip corner to talk some more shit about how LuAnn and Bethenny got into a bitch smacking fest at the last fashion show. Right away Jill butts her big lip in and starts to tell the story like she was there.

Ramona gets all confused because the stories are jumping back and forth  between Jill’s fight with Bethenny and LuAnn’s fight with Bethenny both fights took place at different fashion shows .

 Ramona tells  Jill to shut the fuck up because she is confusing her and she is going to have to keep cheat sheets to keep up with all this fuckery.

Next is Bethenny peddling her Skinny Girl Margaritas at the Robert Verdi’s fashion thingy ding. She has invited Alex and rigth as Alex gets there they start chugga- luging margaritas and talking smack about how Jill is a pain in the ass and a fucked up bitch.

Alex tells Bethenny how she is pissed off at Jill for talking shit about her parenting skills and telling her that her little punk rocker sons Johnnie and Frankie are a couple of wild monkeys who crawl up peoples legs . Then she goes on to say how she is going to monkey punch Jill in the throat, when she sees that Bitch because she is tired of her. Bethenny gets all happy and cheers to that.

Kelly shows up and says to Bethenny What time is it? and you’re drunk already Bitch? Bethenny tells her it is noon somewhere and to plop down and slam margaritas with her and Alex. Kelly says she can’t be getting all drunk and shit, because she is picking up her 2 kids from school. The whole thing then becomes like a fucking after school special.

 Bethenny is peer pressuring the shit out of Kelly to have a drink with her and then go and drive to pick up her kids, Bethenny says she is on Prozac and margaritas, the world is upside down and the  four horsemen of the Apocalypse must be coming because she is hanging out with Big Foot Bitch. Then she keeps peer pressuring Kelly and says oh c’mon on is just one drink .

Alex is pressuring too she starts cheering  Kelly to drink ‘Kelly, Kelly , Kelly c’mon I drank all the way through both my pregnancies  and the boys turned out alright!’And I been staying drunk ever since; and will stay permanently drunk until they turn 18 all througout   their teenage years I plan to drink even more! That’s the right way to deal with parenting!  

Then Kelly runs out of there screaming .Then she got hit by a car! That’s what she gets for running in traffic. But don’t worry she is fine she dented the poor taxi cab. What I can’t believe is that, Big Foot was actually using common sense and I was agreeing with her leathery ape ass. Damn! That’s twice today! I think I do see the four horsemen of the Apocalypse coming!

Jill meets up with her mom and sister for a boring photo shoot where her mom bitch smacks the living beJeezus out of everybody because she is ‘NOT HAPPY!’  With any of the poses, and is making it her mission to not, only direct, how this photo shoot should be done but, also to make everybody miserable. Including some poor peasant stylist woman who tried to clean the rigor mortis off her wooden dentures and Jill’s mom smacked that bitch upside down her head and told her she’ll be lucky if she has any teeth left after she is done smacking her peasant ass around! . Damn Right! Let that Bitch know who’s Boss.

 Then if that was not enough Bitchery she rams a fan up some poor peon’s ass, because she complained it was blowing on her 155 year old embalmed chichis.

 I wonder how many surgeries Jill’s mom has been through? She cannot even move her jaw. And she looks like Michael. Jill then gets all pissed off and flashes the photography guy. Then her mom says to Jill’s sister There she goes being a slut again! and her sister answers all jelaous, Yeap she was always the whore of the family!.

Bethenny and Ramona meet for drinks. Ramona says she is just doing it to get the scoop from Bethenny about the bitch smack down between her and the gruesome two-some Jill and LuAnn. You know damn well Ramona is just doing this shit so she can go back and bad mouth Bethenny later to the other 2 ho’s, even though she is sitting there swearing up and down she is not taking sides!

Jill is getting ready for some other pachanga she is holding and is having LuAnn visiting her. Jill’s mom is there and pays LuAnn a complement about how classy she is and how she is truly a born Countess. Oh Grandma, you are getting senile in your old age. But that’s okay I still love your Bitchery it’s entertainment.

LuAnn tells Gloria she is gliding thought that divorce very easily since now she can fuck away all those Sancho’s she had hidden while Grandpackula was out on ‘Binezz!’.  Or better yet, out getting young hot ass to replace LuAnn’s saggy ass.

 

 

Then the Saks party. Jill says Saks is having her host a private sales party because she spends so much money at Saks. Ramona says that’s bullshit, and that Saks is just having that Ho’ host a party for them because she returns so much dang merchandise that’s either ruined  because her size 18 doesn’t fit in a size ’0′ no matter how much she tries and she ends up ripping clothes at the seams or because Ginger had her happy dry humping way with it .

 So Saks told that Ho’ that either she holds a sales party for them to pay back on all that ruined returned merchandise or she was going to have to pay for all that shit, and Jill was like ‘NOOOOOOO!’ Because she don’t like to pay for shit. So she hosted that party.

Kelly shows up wearing a big fur vests. What the fuck is wrong with this broad? Does she want to emphazize the fact that she is a cave woman by wearing this fur vest?. LuAnn greets Kelly, making a LuAnn dig and calls Kelly’s vest ‘funky’ then Kelly looks at LuAnn in the eye and answers GOONIE GU GU!  Bitch! I knew you was a Big Foot! See that proves it!

Then Silex shows up. Alex tells LuAnn she is throwing some shing dig  charity thing she is hosting for some client because Alex has to actually work for a living since she is not a Countless Countess sitting on her ass . CABRONA!  

Ramona is already nice and shit faced, since she is being chugga- login bottles of Pinot Grigio since 9am and gets her crazy eyes going. Then she tells  Simon that LuAnn threw a party and didn’t want Silex there because she was afraid they were gonna stink up the place and steal the silverware because they’re poor peons.

Well Bitch at least they’re peons that are in LUUUVEE! see LuAnn in LUUUVEE! Simon don’t run around all over Manhattan sticking his Aussie pinga in every loose ho’ in town and you hate that you hate that Countless! Buahaha .  LuAnn tries to deny she didnt want Silex in her house and says ‘ I dint say that!’ but Ramona says ’Yes you did, Sweetie, Dawling. Yes you did.’

After that little argument went down you see Ramona standing there with her crazy eyes  by the clothes rack , holding her glass of wine looking craaazey, and you all know damn well bitch is standing there planning what  ho’ bag she is gonna go after next to tear her a new asshole .

Alex finds Ramona and tells her she is planning on shitting in her own hand and flinging poo at Jill as soon as she sees her. But right as she is saying this shit she realizes that Jill has been standing there all along eaves dropping on her poo flinging plans.

Alex tells Jill she doesn’t appreciate her always talking smack about her children and brings up the leg crawling incident. Jill then throws the blame on LuAnn and says LuAnn is the one that told her about this shit but Jill just jumped in to tell the story as if she was there because that’s the type of shit that Bitch does.

Finally someone fetches LuAnn who was giving a hobo a blow job in the bathroom.

Then those two Bitches (LuAnn and Jill) talk over each other and totally confuse Alex. That Bitch was all upset and crying because she was drunk and confused  and she reached her boiling point she sayed she is tired of these cunts picking on her, and picking on her ,all these years and she lets it go, and lets it go, and now she is tired of it . I felt really bad for her.  Poor Bitch.

After all this Bullshit Silex decides to leave because she is tired of these ho’s and is going to burn the building down with all of them in it!

 

Remember how Ramona was planning on which ho’ she was going to tear up next? Well she decided to go after Big Foot ass Kelly and asks her the 110 million dollars question every ho’ in the nation is been dying to know and that is Bitch when you gonna fix them teeties? Each of your boobs has it’s own zip code you need to correct that shit one teetie is in California and the other one is in New York . When you fixing them tits ho’?

Kelly is appalled that this drunken Bitch has the nerve to ask her a personal question like that, and LuAnn jumps in and tells Ramona’s crazy ass that some people like to keep shit like that private . Ramona says It ain’t private it is everybody’s business since you gonna be doing that 10 page nudy patooty spread on Playboy for all the world to see and now you’re saying that it’s private . BITCH PLEASE!

And that’s the way that shit went down!

 

We start at a watering rat hole called the  Pink Elephant where Bethenny and upgrade Jason are impatiently waiting for a drunken Ramona and Mario to stumble in . Bethenny tells upgrade Jason that Ramona is always late although she lives around the corner of this puterio while poor Bethenny and Jason had to drive from the tortilla flats gettho and still made it there to meet that bat shit crazy delusional ho’ and her lookie loo husband.

 Good! Bethenny found a man that can bad mouth and gossip about other people with Bethenny. That is an important thing in a marriage.

 Right as they talking all this shit, Ramona and Mr Eyeballs show up. Mr Eyeballs gives Bethenny a hug and he also pinches her ass; cause he’s a weirdoe like that. Ramona knows. However; she don’t give a rats butthole  what Mario does, as long the Pinot Grigio is coming by the barrel.

Bethenny shares that she had to box The Countless earlier and then Ramona says I had an altercation with that  Bitch too,. her and Jill ear raped me.. luckyly I had my trusty Pinot Grigio by my side and my hair is like Sampson and Delilah and I was able to fight them off …I had to jump up to punch LuAnn’s 6 1/2 foot ass. It  was like punching Sasquatch,… that’s a Huuge Bitch!  

 Bethenny then said to Ramona that LuAnn was packing heat when she met Bethenny at the bar earlier where she almost killed Beth. Poor Beth had to escape while LuAnn’s guns where blazing at her and only missed her by a pubic hair. Then Bethenny says to Ramona You do know her penis grew back the minute her husband left her? I KNEW IT!

The conversation moves on to the shenanigans of LuAnn’s sham of a marriage to the 155 year old Count who sticking his shriveled Viagra dick to other ho’s while LuAnn  was distracted and very busy spreading more than her phone number to random men all over NYC. I KNEW IT! AGAIN!

While Bethenny was going on an on full volume about how she plans to hit LuAnn in the back of the head while she drinks a $27 dollar diet Coke at a fundraiser; Ramona started putting the moves on upgrade Jason and said hello handsome. Because she wants some of that.

Then Ramona says the real reason she is putting the moves on Jason is because she needs to make sure he is good enough for Bethenny. So she is doing Bethenny a favor.

Ramona decides that since upgrade Jason is a low key quiet gentelman and Bethenny is a loud mouth, opiniated, bossy Bitch. YEAH! They will complement each other.

Suddenly everyone jumped up a went dancing. Ramona turned to Jason and said ‘It was nice to meet you in a more intimate level’  she had enough gallons of Pinot Grigio and like 35 shots of Patron to do the crazy Ramona dance for at least 6 hours straight so she jumped up and did the crazy Ramona dance.

Bethenny said that later Ramona had to stop dancing because ‘Ramona likes to dance until your cooch falls off!’ . So I guess Ramona lost her cooch in that dance floor. Ramona found her cooch two days later for sale at the adult store next to the Kinki Kiki’s strip club. She had to buy it back for $3.95 Ramona was pissed because she tried to says her cooch is worth at least $10 dollars  more than that.

 Next day in the Hampton’s LuAnn has been up all night unable to sleep because her ears kept ringing like ghetto nails on a chalk board. So she calls her former housekeeper Rossie to come and help her with a powerfull spell. You see when LuAnn became Countless she could not stay in NYC anymore because the Count needed the NYC pad as a new fuck pad for him and his new Royal Ho’ girlfriend who is younger than him by 95 years unlike LuAnn who is  younger than him by 65 years . Rossie was not able to stay in NYC working for the Count so she quit but she could not come to work for LuAnn in the Hampton’s because  it is too far from Rossi’s home that she was unable to commute.

The  Count also decided that LuAnn’s expiration date of exchange was coming soon so he traded her in for a  newer younger hotter Ho’. And that’s the usual life of mosts Countess and socialite Bitches. Most of the time.

Anyways, Rossie is a powerful high priestess Witch from the Philippines so LuAnn summoned her to come and assist her with this business of Mario calling her Countless and the anger that made her penis grow back after the Count dumped her.

So, since Rossie is also LuAnn’s spiritual confidant friend and consultant she comes to assist LuAnn in her hour of need. LuAnn even brings tea to Rossie.Rossie says she made her Red Snapper potion which LuAnn is supposed to eat for dinner to resolve the Mario situation by causing Mario to taste rancid fish every time he talks about LuAnn being Countless. Don’t fuck with Rossie.

Victoria broke her wrists trying to sneak out the balcony.

Simon and Mario decide to wear the same exact outfit to dinner. Then Ramona finds out both Simon and Mario have been secretly meeting and shopping together Ramona figures this out when they both start naming and recognizing  designers. 

Ramona right away stars fishing for complements from Simon who tells her she looks like a young Cameron Diaz just to fuck with her. Of course Ramona ‘ eats it right up’ Alex put him up to it. Mario tried to make nice with the Countless by calling her and inviting her to his and Ramon’s  Labor day party but the Countless refused to pick up the phone.

Then we see a lovely scene with Jill and LuAnn being besties. LuAnn is the underdog now so it’s her turn to be besties with Jill.

Since these Bitches love to hold on to messages and play them later to everyone else. LuAnn plays the message for Jill that Mario left. Jill then tells LuAnn that Mario said on the message ‘bring it on Bitch!‘. Jill then got on the phone to talk things over with Ramona who thought LuAnn was not listening in even thought she knew Jill was calling her from LuAnn’s phone.

Ramona ends up punching LuAnn throught the phone and  calls her a bar hoping whore who collected men for her male harem the whole time she was married to the old ass Count. Jill wonders if there is any truth to that rumor. LuAnn says she is pleased with Jill’s loyalty to her. Oh well she will find out during the reunion that Jill wonders if the rumors are truth!

Then it all went on to talking shit about Bethenny .  Both Jill and Bethenny are resentful towards each other and even LuAnn tells Jill that her and Bethenny need to patch this shit storm up, and become friends again.

Then a sweet scene of upgrade Jason telling Bethenny he looves her and to move in with him.

Ramona prepares for her party. She trashes Jill to her 14 year old daughter Avery and tells her that Jill should come to her party and ditch LuAnn and blah, blah, blah. Avery has more sense than drunken mom, but her little voice just gets drowned by Ramona’s high pitched- screeches.

LuAnn is entertaining at the Hampton’s home and so she invites Kelly. Jill is ditching Ramona’s party of course. Kelly decided to show up to the LuAnn get together wearing a t-shirt with no shorts on. Bitch looked ridiculous. Like always.

Then she gets all secretive and weird to tell LuAnn and Jill she is posing for Playboy.But the dumb Bitch is wispering it as if nobody is supposed to know . What the fuck?  At first LuAnn thought Kelly went ape shit and beat up her boyfriend again, and then got arrested.

Everybody is gonna see her nakid ass.   Jill was being suportive about Kelly posing for Playboy. But then to the confessional she is totally saying that Kelly is a skanky ho’ and she shoulnd’t be doing shit like that because she has kids.Did you all see Jill’s jaw drop when Kelly told her the news? That is not a jaw drop of happiness for someone else. That is a jaw drop of shock and disgust.

Right away Jill asks if Kelly is showing bush and Kelly immediately says just boobs. Kelly says she is doing Playboy’s 40’s anniversary because she is 80. LuAnn was Jelaaauus! I can see it it’s written on her face. Then of course Jill asks Kelly Do your kids know that their mom is gonna be a nakid skank on a man’s magazine aimed at pervs?

Kelly proudly announce that she will tell her kids. Then of course LuAnn has to say that she was too in some pervy magazine and brings out her nakid pictures for all to see; suddenly Noel walks over to asks his moma LuAnn something stupid. Damn kid was probably listening.

LuAnn hides her nakid pics from her son. And of course the news travels like wild fire  right after that because suddenly the whole kids table is talking about it. Noel says to Victoria he would like to go to the Playboy mansion and Victoria asks why?. Gee I wonder why? Maybe he has a crush on Sasquatch! I hope not, that would be disturbing! 

Then Jill’s husband Bobbi shows up to the dinner. Jill tells Kelly to tell Bobbi she is gonna be in Playboy. Bobbi tells Kelly that he has all the editions of Playboy in mint condition at his moma’s house,from 1969 to 1998 Bobbi proudly tells Kelly he has all of the copys of Playboy.Jill doesn’t like that, but is tolerating it. Look at Jill’s fake smile she wants to punch Bobbi in the face.

 Bobbi is gonna buy a copy of Kelly’s edition because he always had a morbid  curiosity to know what a Big foot woman looks like shaved and nakid. Kelly suddenly realizes that a lot of men are going to  be gawking at her nakid ass on that pervy mag. I guess she didn’t think about that.

Jill also says  she don’t think those dirty mags are in mint condition now that she knows Bobbi has them at his momas house. Well I am sure the pages are stuck together on some of them, other wise mint condition.

 Yeap, Kelly everyone’s gonna see your ass nakid even mom and pop and the siamese twins uncle Gerald and cousins Tina, Cletus, Brandy and the rest of the clan of onkoels aunts, nieces, nephews and cousins, as well as grandpa Chuck and grandma Hazel and even uncle Touchy he is gonna buy extra copies so he can look at them in his special basement. Fucking dumb ass broad! Kelly suddenly realizes that Bobbi will be looking at her nakid ass too! It suddenly dawned upon her.CREEPY!

Back at Ramona’s. Bethenny is over at the Labor day party that Jill is ditching  because she thinks Ramona is a crazy bugged eyed drunken Bitch and also because she hates Bethenny now. Bethenny has to deal with talking to Silex since they had a fall out over the logo thing from last season.Somehow that gets smoothed out.

 During dinner the conversation turns to Jill and how Bethenny and her are no longer friends because Bethenny is no longer the underdog. When a random guest at the table puts in her 2 cents and tells Bethenny that Jill really misses her. Bethenny turns to the woman and says And you are the caterer? Bitch please! You don’t know me like that!

 Alex made the mistake to tell Ramona that she is going to stop by LuAnn’s party and Ramona went ape shit .Then Ramona puts Silex in the middle to totally take sides between her and team Jill  . Bethenny says its psycho nazi warfare. They pressure Alex to pick a team then they totally torture Alex by dipping her head in the lush pool and Alex has to make the phone call to tell Jill and LuAnn that she is not showing up to their party. Now LuAnn and Jill are after Alex and are going to play catch with Alex the next time they see her. 

 

 

 

Here is some  pictures of Bethenny’s wedding . I guess she wore a sweat suit to her wedding! She obviously did not invite Jill, Kelly or the Countless.

 

 

 

 

 

They really captured the essence of her  crazy on this picture!

 

A pissed off interior decorator has declared war on Crazy eyes Ramona Singer. She states Ramona stiffed her on payment and also did not give her credit for decorating her entire upper East side apartment . This Bitch is pissed!

Here’s the pooper scooper: