Maybe there was a shortage of hotties to pose nude for the month of March or maybe Kelly payed Hugh Hefner a huge amount of money upfront to let her ruin the March edition of playboy. Well the good thing is that Kelly posing created a lot of overtime hours for  many talented graphic artist, that had to work pass midnight to photoshop the shit out of Kelly’s scary leathery ass.

Those poor graphic artist are now having to got through therapy from the traumatic experience of photoshopping Kelly’s bare huge circus tee ties. Each tee tie has it’s own zip code. Kelly’s ex husband was the only man brave enough to shoot those photos or maybe he is already desentized since he was previously married to her. Kelly says they dind’t shoot her crusty ass vagina,  but still, I hope Kelly taped her dick back real good too just in case something may hang out there by accident.Oh yeah, I forgot the traumatized graphic artist took care of that too.

(Source Huffington Post)

Yep, today is my one year anniversary of talking smack on this insanity of a blog. This blog was created on a whim. One year ago today I was telling my husband about the housewives and Gretchen and Lynne and their shenanigans and he gave me this look like ’what are you talking about?’ He wasn’t familiar with the Real Housewives reality wreck, and I didn’t expect him to be.

Then he was kinda teasing me over watching reality TV shows and next thing I know I told him ‘I’m going to create a blog about it’ and he said ‘knock your self out!’  then I came up with the name at the spur of the moment, and it’s been my after work dirty hobby ever since; the rest is history. Now even my husband reads this blog and my teenage daughter watches the Housewives and clowns on those bitches with me. (She also used to make fun of me watching reality TV shows).

So thank you all that read my crazy rants!

And here is some cheesey collage…

HA HA HA HA !

Yeah yesterday it was reported by Perez Hilton that Bethenny Frankel is pregnant. Bethenny did not want everyone to find out so soon but the news leaked out when Kelly Bensimon told everybody and next minute everyone knew about it, forcing Bethenny to admit the whole thing to People but states she is pissed that the news got out so soon the way they did since she is not that far along and wanted to be further along with the pregnancy before word got out.  Bethenny admitted to People today, that she is about 2 months pregnant and apparently it was a surprise. I am very happy and excited for this loud mouthed Bitch  she got what she wanted a man and a baby. It is all going awesome for her and will continue to. Congratulations!

This is what she told People:

Bethenny Frankel, who got engaged to her boyfriend Jason Hoppy earlier this month, is pregnant with her first child she tells PEOPLE exclusively.

Although The Real Housewives of New York City star had hoped to wait until she was further along to break the news, online buzz on PerezHilton.com caused her to reveal that she’s roughly two months pregnant. “It’s premature to be telling people this,” she tells PEOPLE while fighting back tears.

Though she knows she can hardly keep secrets now that she’s a reality star, Frankel, 38, says she’d hoped to keep the news private a bit longer. “It’s not like, ‘Did I Get Botox?’ It’s not the way I wanted it to get out,” she says. “I haven’t even gone through my first trimester. We haven’t even heard the heartbeat. My [fiancé's] parents didn’t even know.”

Surprise Baby News

Frankel, who met Hoppy at the nightclub Tenjune 11 months ago, says she’s thrilled to have found The One. “We were both complete players. We never thought we would find the right person.”

As for getting pregnant before tying the knot, she says, “I’m no spring chicken. I didn’t think it was going to happen right away. Because of my age, sometimes we weren’t totally careful.”

But she admits, “I got to be honest, we are both feeling kind of proud of ourselves. We are both 38 and we were like, ‘Listen, your fish can swim and I am fertile.’ So that’s exciting.”

The couple plans to wed before she has the baby. Explains Frankel, “Because of my age, it’s not like I was going to meet a boy, and then be engaged for a year and then be married for a year before we started trying [to have kids] … I’d be 45.” She describes the way things have unfolded as “like the Triple Crown. I got engaged, we got pregnant and we’re gonna get married. It’s a miracle.”

Cravings

And while she’s less than two months into the pregnancy, Frankel says she’s already experiencing a change in her appetite.

“I’m hungry in a way that is not negotiable,” she says. “I’m not eating tremendous amount but if I am hungry, I will stab someone for food.”

She even ate a jar of pickles before she’d taken her pregnancy test. “That’s so cliché,” she says. “I just want salt. Salt on everything.”

That’s what Perez Hilton stated on his site earlier today. Apparently the rumor is that Bethenny Frankel is not only engaged but also  is pregnant at 38! And Jason Hoppy is the baby daddy, and she is doing all of this to get her own show:

A source very close to Frankel, who is getting her own spin-off show on Bravo, tells us: “Bethenny premeditated all of this! She got pregnant and got engaged all for her own show.”

I am hoping this rumor is true, this way we wont hear Bethenny’s mouth winning that she wants a baby and this is it, her clock is ticking and blah, blah, blah.

Later on today Perez went on a taunting rampage on Bethenny via Twitter. Bethenny answered him back and said this crazy ass shit on her Twiter:

Is preggers w perez hilton’s 9 blue haired babies.

“That’s what my bravo show is about. We’re going to beat jon & kate’s ratings w 1 more baby!”

God Bless that Bitch she comes up with her own spin of crazy and tells the world she is preggers with Perez baby. HA HA HA! I laughed so hard tears came out of my eyes.

If the rumor is true (that she is preggers with Jason Hoppys baby and engaged to him for being knocked up) then Congratulations Bethenny you crazy Bitch! Finally!

At first it was rumored that Bethenny Frankel and new boyfriend of 11 months Jason Hoppy were engaged during the summer. Bethenny confirmed that the real engagement was official on October the 8th.

Here is Bethenny’s actual ring that didn’t come in the mail via UPS.

Here is the original article from People.com:

Bethenny Frankel can officially change her status from single girl to engaged girl.

Although it was reported that The Real Housewives of New York City star and boyfriend Jason Hoppy got engaged over the summer, Frankel confirms to PEOPLE she accepted Hoppy’s proposal on Oct. 8 after an 11-month courtship.

“It feels great, because I’m with the right person,” says Frankel, 38. “He may be regretting it because it’s been beyond a week and he’s in panic mode – [but] no, we’re enjoying it.”

Adds Hoppy, 38, “She is very much a handful but one thing she did say to me is she needs a man that can handle her, and that I can.”

In fact, Hoppy caught the usually unflappable Frankel off guard with his proposal – and even managed to get her beloved dog in on the plan.

Candlelight, Roses and Clean-Up Duty

After a day of shooting Housewives and promoting her Skinny Girl Margaritas, Frankel arrived home to her Upper East Side apartment to find over a hundred votive candles and rose petals strewn across the hallway.

With Frankel’s pooch Cookie (dressed for the occasion in a pink bow) as witness, Hoppy got down on one knee and told her: “You are the love of my life. Will you marry me?”

Hoppy then presented Frankel with a diamond ring with a 6 ½-carat pear-shaped center stone flanked by two side stones from jeweler Kristin Farrell.

Before the couple celebrated their engagement with a seven-course tasting menu at Manhattan restaurant Jean Georges, the first order of business was cleaning up the rose petals from Frankel’s camel-colored carpet.

Frankel jokes, “I made him pick them up. This was the first thing we had to resolve.”

The couple, who met in 2008, have not set a wedding date.

Bethenny Frankel will be starting on her own show that will feature her daily life and her relationship with new fiancee Jason Hoppy. The other Housewives did not even bothered to call her up and congratulate her. But I guess this solidifies the fact that Bethenny and the rest of the cast have grown apart specially Jill Zarin who last season was  best friends with Bethenny.

This article talks about Bethenny getting snubbed by other cast members:

Bethenny Frankel: None of the other ‘Real Housewives of New York’ has congratulated me on solo show

Jimmy Fallon did this little sketch of the Housewives with his own version. He got these Bitches numbers to a ‘ T ‘ specially the bossy delusional spoiled part. Fucking hilarious!

It was reported by the NY Daily News that Bethenny Frankel and the rest of the cast, that is Jill, LuAnn and Alex have been arguing and distancing themselves from Bethenny; surprisingly Bethenny and Kelly have made up over the summer and are closer now. I thought Kelly said that they were never going to be friends?  Also Bethenny was not invited to Jill’s intimate party at Saks Fifth Avenue. Is this a sign of the Apocalypse? Should I repent for my sins now?

Here is the original article:

Friend list of ‘Houswife’ Bethenny Frankel gets skinny

Frenemies Bethenny Frankel and Kelly Bensimon may have made peace over the summer, but the cat-fighting on this season’s “Real Housewives of New York” has only just begun.  On the show, which is slated to premiere in early 2010, the Skinnygirl creator will be feuding with all of her co-stars aside from – ironically – Bensimon. This time around, Bethenny’s biggest enemy appears to be her former BFF, Jill Zarin.

The rift between the ex-besties was evident late last week during a dinner Zarin hosted for 40 friends at Saks Fifth Avenue; Frankel was the only “Housewife”  who hadn’t been invited. While guests gossiped about the chef’s noticeable absence, Bensimon – who appears to be playing both sides – took a place of honor beside the evening’s hostess, a spot previously reserved for Frankel.

But it isn’t just her close pal that the Skinnygirl is alienating herself from: Frankel has been gradually cutting ties with Countess Luann De Lesseps, Alex McCord and Ramona Singer since news that she’d get her own show on Bravo broke during the summer months.

It will become obvious to fans of the New York version of the franchise, which began filming its third season Aug. 31, that the chef is separating herself from the pack. Frankel skipped US Weekly’s 25 Most Stylish New Yorkers fete in early September (all the other ladies attended) and was absent from a night of filming at Emanuel Ungaro’s Madison Ave. store. Even when she did join her castmates – such as at Pamella Roland’s Fashion Week show – the atmosphere was frosty. Frankel and De Lesseps had a front-row fight which, of course, will be played out large on the small screen come 2010.

However, sources say that separating Frankel from the other “Housewives” is a calculated move by Bravo producers, who want to wean her off of the show so she can stand alone.

Frankel has been filming several scenes solo - including a party shot at Meatpacking District nightclub Tenjune – to pave the way for her solo project, the working-titled “Skinny in the City.” Says a source, “Distancing herself from the cast will make the transition away from the ‘Real Housewives’ that much more seamless.”

Reps for Bravo, Frankel and Zarin did not return calls for comment by press time.

Looks like Kelly Bensimon will have to corral her  two lopsided, gigantor, circus, cement boobies together in order to pose  for the December 09′ edition of Playboy. The shots were taken by her ex husband Gilles Bensimon. But don’t worry folks she will only be partially nude so no ones eyes will bleed. Kelly will  not be showing bush, (thank God!) perhaps to hide the  alien that plays peekaboo between her legs. (Source)