Because Teresa called Melissa a gold-digging tramp, that would leave her current husband, Tree’s brother, for a wealthier sugar daddy when she shakes her ass for quarters at the clubs while screaming into the microphone. Melissa confronts Tree and demands an apology that never comes from Teresa because now she is pissed that Melissa called Barney Devito’s brief stay at Club Med  ( I don’t want to say jail and offend anybody here, big ole’ eye roll) ‘JAIL’ and so these bitches manage to turn the Summer Solstice Gathering  into The Summer Solstice Gathering That Went Horribly Wrong. Only the RHONJ wild beast in 7 inch heels can ruin a purity party with fucking fairies and third eyes.

So this is how shit went down, Jacqueline shows up at Teresa’s shore shack to help her put makeup on and get ready for a boat trip. While Jacqueline is making up Tree to look like Crusty The Clown’s tranny twin, she is asking her questions about why her ass keeps going to the rag-mags and spills out all her business but, then expects her friends and family to shut the fuck up when they’re gossiping about her. When instead Teresa should of gone and spill her beans to her friends and family in the first place so, this way they can rag-mag on her ass with no pay.

Teresa explains to Jax how her comment to Psycho Midge Joey was only done with love, and to warn him that his bitch wife may leave him for a fatter bank account. Why with all of Mel’s appearances at clubs and whatnot some bigger king pin may snag that ho’ when Joey is not looking.

Soon after that, the Gorgas and Wikipedia’s show up at Teresa’s shore shack, who brought along Rosie and Kathy’s mom to watch the kids while the bitches and their husbands board a boat to get drunk and fight.

While Kathy’s mom Rosie and the teenage Wikipedia kids are watching the small children everyone is off on the boat ride. However, this time the fun is happening at the shore shack outside on the sidewalk, where the little wild Gorga/Giudice miniature beasts are running amuck on the streets and a car damn-near runs over little Audriana who Rosie has to grab in a mad dog rush and while she is grabbing Audriana, little Joey Gorga Jr  (I think it was little Joey Gorga Jr, I’m writing this from memory here) is trying to ride his bike over a moving car and all the other little monkeys are going apeshit . That’s what happens when you have a mixture of Gorga/Giudice ADD-DNA mixed with a bag of sugar per kid, it’s a deadly combination. Rosie who was suckered into watching these out-of-control mini versions of their parents (that’s scary) was thinking in her head THIS IS WHY I DON’T HAVE CHILDREN!  Noo shit! This is why I only did that shit ONCE! After that mini hurricane of crazy, poor Rosie needed a scotch a SERIOUS SCOTCH!! This is what she gets for agreeing to watch those wild beasties. But, at least there was enough wine and liquor in that house to keep her drunk for a couple of months.

On the boat ride everyone is uncomfortable and Jacqueline who likes to pretend ‘everything is fine!’ starts talking shit about how the godmother Caroline Manzo is going through menopause and this is the reason she is a bitch. I believe it! I also think Caroline was born with menopause since she is been a bitch since she was a baby. Just look at her offspring Caroline Jr, she is been going through menopause since before the show started! Is in the Manzo genes.

The awkwardness gets more awkward when, Teresa and Richie get into an argument over who deserved to get punched in the face more, Richie or Barney Devito. Midget Psycho Joey thinks Tree was brainfucked by Barney Devito the way he got brainfucked by Melissa. Then, they all force themselves to smile for a family picture.

At the Manzo compound Lauren continues to whine about how fat she is. Her momma Caroline says YES YOU ARE! And then proceeds to remind Lauren not to hate her brothers because they’re beautiful golden thin children but, it’s not their fault. Since this wasn’t enough humiliation, while Lauren and Vito are cooking dinner all the other Manzo fuckers start gang-punking on how fat Lauren and Vito are, and how lard-assy and huge their future children will be and the only advantage those children will have is they will be able to beat up on Albie and Christopher’s future thin gifted attractive children. Lauren is all sad and acknowledges that Vito only likes Shore Whores with tight butts and surfboard abs. To rub salt in that wound, like any good brother would, Albie pulls out a photo of his current girlfriend (you mean Gregg?) and tells Lauren that’s the kind of skank Vito likes. While Albie was clowning on Lauren’s fatness the godmother Caroline just laughed it off like her sons are so cute for doing that and Lauren was about to cry. Later on, when the cameras left Lauren ate a 20 lb. tub of ice cream while washing it down with her tears.

And finally all the bitches go to Jacqueline’s Summer Solstice party hosted by her psychic Tia. Psychic? I call bullshit on that, for one she hasn’t won the lottery yet, for two she couldn’t predict that inviting the embarrassing RHONJ ho’s was going to only RUIN that purity party which is why they were all required to wear white. They should of worn riot squad gear instead.

While at the party Mel decides to talk with Caroline about her favorite subject TERESA. Caroline tells Melissa that since Tree is the new Joker Face (same speech different bitch) and an asshole she is trying to destroy the family because she hates Melissa. Really? Besides Caroline what else is old?

Teresa shows up at the Solstice Party with Kim D (that bitch is still alive?) and is pissed that her brother Midget Psycho Joey has repeated to Mel the dig warning Tree gave him on that bitch being a gold-digger who will walk out on him if a richer man comes along.

The Third Eye Fairies give everyone a third eyeball, but I believe with these fucktwits that shit is blind deaf and dumb, so there’s no hope for them. Not even with a third eye.

Rosie pulls Tree to the side so nobody could hear them except the cameramen and all of the TV audience watching this craziness, and starts bringing up the bullshit about the gold-digger comment between Tree and her Midget brother. Rosie tells Teresa she just wants everyone to shut the fuck up, cut the bullshit and party, she also says she is surrounded by a bunch of stupid idiots and now she needs more liquor.

Everyone agrees that Teresa’s  true motive for that gold-digging comment is because she is a jealous bitch with a husband who has cheating issues and is projecting onto the Gorgas the current situation in her own marriage. Supposedly Midget Psycho Joey was the one who found out that Barney Devito was cheating on Teresa and he is the one who threatened Barney Devito with telling Tree all about it. Teresa ended up discovering the questionable text on Barney Devito’s phone.

Tree tries to sweep that shit under the rug because she is embarrassed and then forces Jacqueline to be on her side, or else.

Soon after that Mel and Tree get into a bitching spewage over how Midget Joey never called Tree when Barney Devito was someone’s bitch at the fabulous jail house. Tree gets all batshit crazy and offended that this bitch mentioned ‘jail’ when according to Teresa the proper term is ‘he went away,’ and so Tree turns this comment into a fight, just like Mel and Joey turned the gold-digging dig into a big ole’ fight. Shit never ends with these fucktards. After  Teresa gets horribly offended she runs out of the party all pissed off.

Mel goes back to cry to Mama Manzo and starts singing her same tired victim song “I tried,  she is nuts I don’t know what the fuck happened” and Caroline agrees with the whole thing and calls Teresa a bully. Turd meet the dingle-berry!

Kathy says that old Mafiosos use the word ‘away’ instead of jail because that’s old school Mafioso respect and understands why Teresa flipped out. But, doesn’t understand why she is using old school terminology when nowadays going to jail is like saying he went on vacation and nobody gives a shit anymore. Besides, why is this ho’ tripping all of her and her husband’s dirty chones have been airing out their stinky odors since she started appearing on this Bravo Circus; same goes for everyone else.

While Teresa is running in her hooker stilettos to her car, Jacqueline, Kim D and the socalled psychic Tia are chasing her down begging her not to leave. Tia is brave enough to grab Tree’s arm, bitch better watch out Tree has gorilla strength and may send her flying across the parking lot onto a parked car the same way she tossed Miss Andy like a rag doll during that one reunion. I wonder if maybe Tia has never watched this show and that may explain why she has balls.

After much negotiating (as if Teresa was holding hostages and the other bitches were cops) she agrees to talk to Mel under the condition that she don’t bring up Barney Devito’s vacation in Club Med.

When Mel goes out to confront Tree in the parking lot, the bitches are going back and forth and yelling at each other. So much for fairy dust, third eyes and harmony!  Melissa starts demanding an apology from Tree Beast for saying she will leave Midget Joey for a fatter wallet to suck on. Teresa says that if Joey would of just kept his big bitch mouth shut and kept the comment in confidence (but forgets how to pronounce confidence and says confidante or some stupid shit)  this shit-storm would have been avoided. It’s called stirring shit up for the cameras Tree, you done that before.

The argument goes on and on and gets louder and louder plus these bitches are waving their arms around throwing gang signs and shit like that. They argue about gifts, and their kids birthdays and about how Barney Devito throws away the gifts that Mel brings the Giudice girls and who is a bigger bitch than who. Teresa tries to leave but Mel stops her and yells ‘walk away coward like you always do!’ Then, Teresa comes back getting into full orangutan fight mode and we cut to commercials.

Okay so I’m a sick whore and was hoping these bitches where going to scratch each other’s eyes out and throw Louboutin shoes at each other using the heels as weapons all while in the glamorous parking lot where all the bitch chola fights happen with this crew. But, NOOOOO!

We start this episode with the continuation of Ashley Holmes getting kicked out of her mom and stepdad’s house in New Jersey and into the fun non-stop partying Sin-City of Vegas. Albie Manzo is sent to babysit drive Ashley and make sure she gets on that plane. Yeah, that went real well.

Now lets visit the Giudice’s at their empty money laundering front Pizzeria that apparently is shut down now. Supposedly since Barney Devito couldn’t drive himself to work and get ‘those lunches out on time’ he had to go out of business. But, don’t worry Barney Devito is crafty and has a new scheme up his sleeve, he is going to light a match and burn down the gas station across the street owned by one Richie Wikipedia, and turn that shit into an old folks social security/ medicare scam of some sort.  But, Richie Wikipedia doesn’t know his ass is getting ‘evicted’ from his gas station yet.  But, he will and this is because paybacks are a bitch. More on that later.

Since we are in the subjects of shit shutting down let’s visit with Lauren Manzo aka Godmother Caroline Manzo Jr. Remember that cosmetics front store she opened last season when she had Ashley draw her  T-shirts with crayons then she bitched her out and whatnot? Well apparently the next day, yes you heard that correct THE NEXT DAY Lauren closed shop. Lauren had some hissy fit over people not kissing her ass enough or some shit. So, she didn’t even have that store opened for a punk ass 10 minutes when she decided to fold up and go home to cry to mommy who fed her a buffet of  1/16^th Italian fried meatballs until Lauren gained more weight so this way Godmother Manzo can have a story line and tell the world how fat her daughter is.  Since when do you open a store and not even give it a chance? She closed shop the next day?  Now I know why Lauren is always crapping on Ashley, she is hoping that pointing the finger at Ashley’s non-stop, conga-line of partying will make people not notice her failing attempts at having a business. Lauren has no room to talk about what a loser Ashley is. But, since Godmother Manzo couldn’t get Lauren on ‘The biggest Loser’ since that’s the show she should go on; she takes her to some hippie doctors that’s going to put Lauren on some Anorexia diet hoping that if she loses some weight her cosmetics store will be more successful and people will kiss Lauren’s skinny size four ass. Size four? Now you’re pushing it bitch!

And since those fried 1/16^th Italian meatballs get around they are making an appearance at Jacqueline’s get-together where fried meatballs are the main dish.  The Giudice’s are also making an appearance so they can get bashed by everybody some more work things out.

Ashley purposely misses her flight.  It appears that Albie was unable to carry on this mission and strap ‘Ke$ha’  on that one-way plane to Vegas.  Ashley walks in and says hi to everyone like it’s no big deal she had missed her flight because she couldn’t find any straw-NyQuil to suck on and powdered donuts to snort on. Chris decides to take Ashley to the airport himself first thing in the morning. But, not until he tells Ashley she has no commonsense and her little brother CJ who knows how to operate the vacuum better than Ashley because he can follow directions would of NOT  missed the flight.

When Teresa shows up everyone purposely ignores her while she is trying to speak, they seem tired of hearing her. Finally she makes herself loud enough and brings up that she is apologizing AGAIN over the so called jokes she spewed out in her books. Tree asks her brother Midget Psycho Joey if he read her first book, and Psycho Joey gets all pissed off this bitch  even asked him if he read her book or not, since EVERYBODY KNOWS Joey doesn’t know how to read and now Teresa’s constant questioning and unrequested advice to read her book is making everyone in the room uncomfortable. AAAWKWAAARD!

Melissa changes the convo and tells Tree they will take one in the ass for the team so she can make a buck or some shit. Truth be told they all take one in the ass when they’re in a reality show in order to make a buck.

Meanwhile in the basement where I guess the cameras where not allowed, a fists fight occurred between Barney Devito and Richie Wikipedia, over who is the shortest Joe. Barney Devito or Midget Joey. Since Barney Devito has little dick syndrome he got all pissed off at Richie Wikipedia and went to grab his balls, Richie turned around and hit him in the head with some sort of candlestick holder and this gave Barney Devito a black eye and bloody nose, this is the reason he is out for vengeance against Richie Wikipedia and will burn down his gas station to open up an old folks swingers home. Old people need to get laid too. And can you believe none of this bullshit got caught on camera!

Later on Barney Devito is at home drinking the pain of his lost fight away and has the guys over for some fun gossipy time. While Barney Devito was pouring wine, his children where running amuck and one of them I think it was Milania (I’m writing this from memory) punches Albie in the nuts. While Barney Devito cooks the food his daughter Milania tells him he is not a cooker he is a hooker. Maybe that’s why he was trying to grab Richie’s balls?

When the other men bring up Barney Devito’s drivers license ordeal he brings up his brother-in-law Psycho Midget Joey’s inability to pay his bills on time. The other men are friends with Midget Joey so the whole combo was  AWKWARD! During a talking heads interview, Chris Laurita says that he lost respect for Barney Devito for being a 40 year old loser who uses other people’s birth certificate to get a drivers license. Can’t believe Bravo is trying to make the men be gossipy Sunday-bitches also.

Back at the Wikipedia home we find out that young Master Wikipedia has a young girl send him naked pictures of herself. His dad Richie Wikipedia is all sorts of proud of his son who is now ‘ a full grown man’ and can look at naked bitches.  His momma Kathy however, is disgusted that a young lady would be such a floozy and send her son those porn shots. While all this shit was going on Richie was busy eyeballing that young ho’ s pictures because he is going to save those pics for his son later so he can get his mack on.

Later on Melissa is trying to sing a ballad in her homegrown music studio and her producer tells her to sing like she means it. Even though this bitch tries, it still doesn’t work until the producer auto tunes the shit out of that song and suddenly Melissa is an award winning ballad songstress. Maybe Gretchen Rossi should of hired this auto tune master for her Pussycats Doll Disaster.

And finally Melissa makes a romantic dinner for her and Midget Psycho Joey who has to shout across the 10 foot long dinner table and thinks Melissa is preggers again; until she tells him she is just presenting him her new song and he decides to get that bitch drunk so he can knock her up with a little Gorga baby. AGAIN!

Teresa Giudice tried to make amends with Caroline Manzo, on the last episode of RHONJ and Caroline pretty much told her to fuck off, Caroline also threaten Bravo with walking out if Teresa remains on the show. Well then, don’t let the door hit you in your culo on the way out Caroline!

Even though Teresa’s apology wasn’t welcome by Caroline, she is still trying to apologize this time she even took her apology to In Touch Weekly; where Tree has written apology letters to all her ho-stars including her SIL Melissa Gorga.

From In Touch Weekly:

“All of this drama seemed insignificant after I was exposed to people with real problems.” And so, in an attempt to bury the hatchet, Teresa, 39, has written open letters to Jacqueline, Melissa, Kathy and Caroline. “I wish I could take it all back and start over,” she confesses.

In her open letter to Jacqueline, Teresa writes, “Dear Jacqueline, I wish we could have resolved things sooner because I’m sincerely sorry for upsetting you — and I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your apology on Twitter. I feel like things have gotten out of hand, which is sad. I miss our friendship. I miss being like Lucy and Ethel with you. And so I hope we can work through these problems one day, when you are ready. Teresa xoxo”

Other juicy rumors swirling around this mess is that Melissa is demanding more money for making an ass out of herself on national TV and for her family ties getting ruined. Although, I doubt she gives two shits about their raging-crazy, family feuds.

“There is now a lot of fighting going on about money – who deserves the most and who doesn’t,”

“Melissa wants more money because she feels like she doesn’t get paid enough to deal with all the damage that’s been done to her personal life.”

Tree and Jax are trying to mend fences via Twitter. But, I doubt that Caroline Manzo will give Jacqueline clearance to make peace with Teresa:

Aaand Reality Tea also got an exclusive about Barney Devito’s rumored cheating ways. But, then again like Phaedra Parks would say everyone already knows that.

From Reality Tea:

 “Joe always had the attitude, ‘what would she do without me?’,”

Teresa “likes a nice life and he ‘used to’ give that to her.”

Supposedly, Teresa use to not care or at least tolerate and pretend to not care where Barney Devito was, this was back in the day when he used to bring home the bacon:

Teresa  “didn’t care where he went and what he did.”

According to the source, Barney Devito has also been known for staying out for days at a time and Tree had no clue where he was at, the poor thing had to call her father or brother to track down Barney Devito. THAT SUCKS!

“Teresa has had to deal with Joe and his infidelities for years. There were times Joe was gone for days and she didn’t know where he was,”

But, now that Tree is the one bringing in the money and Barney Devito stays home she doesn’t really need his cheating ass anymore and is more confrontational about his cheating ways.

The Melissa sisters gossipy source continued:

“Teresa comes from a place where the woman ‘worships’ her husband. Teresa’s mother worships her father. Her brother loves and worships his wife,”

“Teresa wishes she married someone who would have treated her the way her brother treats his wife.”

Barney Devito is also rumored to sniff up Teresa’s friend and makeup artist skirt.

See photo below:

COCHINO!

But of course Teresa keeps on denying all of this mess and told Wetpaint:

“Joe and I have a very solid marriage.”

And insist, “very difficult time for us.”

“We were both frustrated and reacting out of emotion and exhaustion.”

If all of these rumors about Barney Devito are for sure, sure true then, how sad for Tree to have to put up with a cheating asshole, while she keeps trying to paint a faux smile on her face!  POBRECITA!

It is only obvious that Barney Devito is not all that into his wife Teresa Giudice and is fed up with cameras following him and his troubles around. In an upcoming episode Barney Devito will snap at Tree and threatens to leave her and the girls if she keeps complaining about fighting with her bro Midget Psycho Joey. An insider spilled this to Life & Style :

“In an upcoming episode, Joe threatens to leave Teresa,” a source says. “When she complains about fighting with her brother, Joe tells her, ‘I don’t want to hear about it anymore. When I say something, you fucking listen and shut up. Try to get me around your family,  just try it. I’ll end up leaving you.”

WOW! That’s pretty ugly.

But, Tree insists that:

“everyone has their ups and downs.”

However Melissa the insider says that Teresa pretends to have a happy marriage when the cameras are around and she obviously fails miserably at it:

“It’s sad,” the insider says. “They turn it on only when cameras are around. Joe hasn’t been focused on his family for years.”

So could this be the reason she is trying to get preggers again and give husband Barney Devito a baby boy?

This is what she spilled to Hollywood Life:

“I try to be Superwoman,” Real Housewives of New Jersey‘s Teresa Giudice confesses to Hollywoodlife.com. “My husband Joe is telling me that we should have another baby – he wants to try for a boy.”

With Teresa trying to be the main bread winner for her family plus juggling all of her gigs and supposedly having no nannies or hardly any help to raise her brood she says she is too tired to give Barney Devito some monkey sex in order to get another baby going:

She explains that her two youngest daughters, Milania and Audriana, still insist that she lie down with them at night until they go to sleep.

“Then I go back to my bed and Joe wants some action,” she laughs. “He always says – ‘you’re so tired!’”

“Whenever I ask Joe, what he wants for his birthday, he replies: ‘Another baby!’”

“I’m just so grateful that I have healthy kids and I think I understand why God sent me four girls,” she explains. “I grew up with a brother, Joe (Gorga), and we were close when we were young, but not so much now. But with my girls, we can be best friends, and they will have each other. Sisters will always stick together.”

And then again Barney Devito shouldn’t trip, I am sure he just wants a boy so that he can carry his last name on. But, in today’s world men take their wives last name. Gia just has to find a nice Jewish boy (remember when Tree told her to marry a Jewish man) that will exchange his last name for Giudice, and put up with that family’s bat-shit craziness. Problem solved.

Thanks Nikki for the link to this mess!

New Jersey House Skanks have always followed the tradition of Caroline and ho-stars against one bitch, and since Joker Face made her exit the one bitch that got singled out and chosen to be the Pinata of the show was Teresa Giudice and this coming up season will be no different. Teresa’s ho-stars have gone so far in their hatred against her that now the bitches refuse to be seeing, photograph or do any type of promotion with this bitch.

From Huffington Post:

“It is so ugly between Teresa and the rest of the cast that they can’t even be in the same room with each other,”

“But this isn’t one-sided, and the hate goes both ways. Caroline Manzo, Kathy Wakile, Jacqueline Laurita and Melissa Gorga want nothing to do with Teresa, and she wants nothing to do with them.”

The Melissa insider, reveals that this season will be the most dramatic and that the other bitches may not want to return for another round. Also season four started filming while season five was still playing.

“This season is the most dramatic yet,” one cast member tells me. “It got so ugly that I’m not sure any of us will want to return for another season if Teresa remains on the show. The betrayal and backstabbing is heartbreaking. I have not seen how it will be all edited together yet, but let’s just say everyone will get to see [Teresa’s] true colors.”

 Caroline Manzo put her fity-cent in and says Tree got a serious case of Attention Whore Personality Disorder (since Caroline is nothing like that!) Snot meet the bugger. Caroline told Life & Style:

 ”Fame is like a drug,”  “If you don’t have your feet planted solidly on the ground, it can really take you for a trip.”

Some random person that owns a store also put her opinion in about Tree’s wild ways:

“Teresa has an unhealthy need to be the best,”

Also Tree’s cousin Kathy Walkile says that she tried to reason with Tree by handling her with “kid gloves” and more blowouts went down when Teresa told her brother that his wife Melissa would leave him for a bigger wallet:

 But Melissa found herself under attack after Teresa told her brother (Melissa’s husband, Joe) that Melissa would leave him for a richer man. “It hurt so bad,” Melissa tells Life & Style. “There’s just no reason to ever say something like that.”

But, Teresa insists is all those other bitches who are in the wrong and feels pissed that her friends kicked her to the curb to kiss ass on her family:

“In a perfect world, I’d be closer with my family,” Teresa tells Life & Style. “Or, at the very least, my friends would help me repair those relationships rather than attempt to cause additional problems between us.”

These ho’s are coming back  this  Sunday April 22 with new shenanigans.

How things have changed; on season one Teresa Giudice used to go on mad shopping sprees., throwing hundred dollar bills as she skipped along the isles of various boutiques and furniture stores, blowing thousands of dollars as she pleased on all kinds of shit and bragging about how she didn’t like living in used linoleum floor houses, and how she was a happy wife with a happy life and no budget limitations.

Fast forward to now and Teresa has gone through financial problems, lawsuits, embarrassing shit, fought with every relative, friend and their mamma etc.  And now she is going around shopping at discount stores, (where she never would of shopped before) and apparently while shopping at Marshall’s in Totowa NJ her credit card got declined. Teresa then got all embarrassed and looked around asking to borrow a 100 dollar bill to pay for her shopping.

Teresa is also now realizing that Reality TV ruined her life and killed her relationships with her family and friends. Something she didn’t want to admit in the past.

Teresa realizes that she:

“traded family and friends for fame”

Teresa also says that her and Jacqueline used to be close before this housewives ordeal:

“My Housewives experience has completely changed. Jacqueline and I had a wonderful relationship for about 10 years. We were great friends, but not anymore. It’s so sad. We actually went through a ‘friends divorce’, which is so hard.”

Teresa is still pissing bricks that she was not notified, her brother and SIL would be joining the show and says :

“I felt deceived.”

She also hasn’t spoken to her brother for a while:

“I haven’t spoken to my brother since before Christmas. We haven’t gone this long without talking in my whole life! I’d have to say that reality TV ruined our family, and it’s a disgrace.”

Thanks to all my readers that posted and emailed me links to this juicy piece of gossip!

The Real House Bitches Of The New Jerseys will be coming back in April with it’s fourth season. Last season introduced us to Teresa’s sister in law Melissa Gorga and cousin Kathy Wakile. This set the foundation for Teresa to go from the Bitch of the show on season 3, to the full Asshole that everyone hates on the show on the coming season 4 because suddenly all of them including Caroline hate her because they are all a bunch of assholes, Teresa also.

There will be appearances by  ex-house wife Dina Manzo who is no longer speaking to her sister but, is still friends with Tree she even sides with her. Melissa Gorga will question her husband’s sexuality and will also be confronted by her ex-boss where Mel supposedly worked as a stripper. Kathy and husband will have to deal with routine teenage problems. The Manzo boys will try to buy a luxury skank-magnet, they will also shit on Laurence’s self-esteem and her future chunky children with Vito. And of course there will lots of Teresa yelling and going apeshit on the other bitches the other ho’s will also go on bitch slap mode on Tree. That one coked out drunk-bitch Kim D will be there also, calling Joe Gorga a ‘midget.’ Barney Devito tells Tree to ‘shut up,’ and there’s one scene where the men are talking and Barney agrees Teresa hates all the other bitches. Also it looks like Tree and Mel will finally duke it out outside, in front of Melissa’s house the way bitches do it at the trailer park every Saturday night. NICE!

The show is not even on, but the family feuds continue. Just like Melissa Gorga is refusing to spend Christmas with Teresa (for obvious reasons) Kathy Walkile is also refusing to spend the holidays with her niece Teresa. According to her latest Hollywood Life interview.

 “We’ll host Christmas Eve at our house and have our family and friends,”  Kathy told Hollywood Life “I haven’t spoken to them [Teresa and her other cousin Joe Gorga’s wife Melissa Gorga  yet, but I know that Teresa hosts Christmas  Eve herself — so I don’t know.”

Kathy states that  if Teresa does not show up, they won’t even miss her because she has plenty of family to replace her. “Usually we have a big open house for Christmas Eve,”  and adds. “You’re family just keeps getting bigger and bigger, so I don’t think there will be a shortage of people — friends and family.”

She says since everyone is running around busy she doesn’t know what Teresa’s schedule will be, why with all the cooking books and Trump show appearances she may not have time to stop by and host the Christmas Family Fight 2011 “You know, everybody gets busy,” an adds. “It’s a busy time of the year for everybody.”

And since none of them are talking to Teresa she is not sure how this will work out . “It’s yet to be determined,” Melissa  also put her 2cents in and told HollywoodLife.com at the Reeve Foundation Magical Evening Gala at NYC’s Cipriani Wall Street on Nov. 30. “Sometimes when something stresses you out and when you have to think to hard about something, sometimes it’s better to stay away for a little while.”

 Joe Gorga says he is tired of the bitch-drama. “There’s certain things you just can’t forgive and forget,” he says “It’s a holiday. You want to enjoy it. You want to be happy. You don’t want to be aggravated. Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I want to be happy.”

If he doesn’t want the drama maybe he should start by buying Melissa a muzzle, since she is the one that’s been busy lately bashing on Tree.

Also Melissa may be trying her hand at cookbooks, since she has to compete with Teresa on everything that other bitch does. She shared a “family recipe” with People to show off that she too can cook.

From People:

I love cooking in the kitchen with my family, with everyone picking at the food before it makes it to the table,” the Voli vodka ambassador tells PEOPLE.

As for her signature dish, she says it’s “a traditional family recipe” best sipped with a pomegranate Voli martini, which she calls “light, refreshing, sweet and sour.”

She also says Teresa’s been a big help and teacher in the kitchen. “I am a good cook, but nothing compares to my sister,” Gorga says. “She is a pro. She sometimes teaches me her secret recipes.”

Want to feast like a Housewife? Not only is Gorga providing her favorite holiday recipe, but she’s also offering instructions for how to make her favorite drink while cooking.

Linguine alla Vongole

1 lb. linguine
¼ cup water
6 garlic cloves, crushed
6 red dried chili peppers, less or more according to how spicy you like it
½ cup extra virgin olive oil
½ cup white wine
2 tbsp. chopped, fresh leaf parsley
3 lbs. little neck hard shell clams
pinch of salt

Clean the clams well and place them in a large pot, covering them with water and placing the lid on pot while heating at medium high until clams burst open.

Remove the clams as they open and pit them into a separate bowl. Clams that don’t open should be trashed.

Scrape the clams and the juices from the shells and put them in a separate bowl.

Rinse the clams again to avoid their being sandy. Pour all of the liquid from the pot into the bowl with the juices and pass all the remaining liquids through a strainer.

To Serve

In a large sauce pan, heat the oil over medium heat and cook the garlic until it is golden brown.

Then add the parsley, chili peppers, a pinch of salt and white wine, letting them all cook together for about three minutes. Add in a little more than half of the clam juices. The liquid should reduce by ½, then stir in the remaining juices and clams and let them cook for another two minutes.

Bring a large pot of water to boil with a pinch of salt. Keeping the pasta a little firm, drain it and return it back into the pot.

Add the clam sauce and stir very gently. Top it off with a little parsley, and voila! (Serves 6)

Voli Pom Martini

1½ oz. Voli Lyte (works with Voli lemon, too)
2 oz. pomegranate juice
¼ oz. lemon juice

In a mixing tin, add ice, Voli Lyte, pomegranate juice, lemon juice and shake.

Strain into martini glass, and add an orange twist for garnish.

So there you go, let me know if any of you try these recipes.

Teresa Giudice says she is a very busy lady these days juggling a career and family, taking care of her kids, writting bestselling cookbooks and keeping an eye on a wondering husband that she doesn’t even have time to wipe her ass:“I can sleep when my kids are gone and grown. For now, I’m up with them in the morning, I send them to school, I work out with Audriana at the gym, then I work, run errands, work some more, pick the kids up for school, make dinner help them with their homework. Joe and I get alone time once they’re in bed,”

Teresa also says that she has finally joined a gym now that she is turning 40, because after four kids she needs to tighten the mommy pouch up. “For the first time in my life, I joined a gym. I’m 40 this year and having kids finally caught up with me! That’s actually the theme of my third cookbook coming out next year. What’s worked for me is going to the gym first thing in the morning after my older girls go to school.”

Well, not everyone believes Teresa’s tales about being a hands-on mom. According to Reality Tea an insider (Melissa?) states that Teresa is busy alright, but that all this hustling after money and famewhoredom, is leaving her little time to spend with her children that she had to hire a nanny!

From Reality Tea:

“I know Teresa’s babysitter well. She watches all four children ALL the time. She drives them everywhere, takes them to birthday parties, and just about everything else,” says our insider. “Teresa is very uninvolved in her children’s lives. She has been for a while. Her main focus is how to build her empire so she can remain “on top.”

The same source also states that Teresa and Barney Devito continue to piss everyone off and alienate people with their asshole attitutes and that they are too stupid to figure out that in life, you need to value friendships and not burn bridges when you feel you can no longer use people:

“Not only are the cast members of the show not her friends anymore, her other real life “friends” have jumped ship,” the source tells Reality Tea. “They said Teresa uses them for rides for her kids. Her one friend’s husband has a driver and Joe asks to use him all the time. The same couple has a lot of money and Joe has asked the husband to put businesses in his name.” The source adds, “Teresa doesn’t value people or friendships. Teresa values possessions, money, status, and looks. She is a narcissist.”

Teresa also denied being the one spilling out Jacqueline’s big secret about being an ex-stripper. “I don’t play crazy Twitter games & threaten people, but I have to defend myself on this one: I don’t have a “contract” with any magazine,” tweetedTeresa. “Saw the In Touch mag this week. I’M on the cover WITH Jac & Caroline for our “secrets.” Don’t like the story. Had nothing to do with it.”

 Everyone is hoping Teresa will go up against Victoria Gotti on Celebrity Apprentice, should be interesting.

The question is, does this nanny take care of more than just the children or is she here to also take care of Barney Devito?

While Teresa gets her family ready for the Gorga/Giudice family portrait she tells her husband Barney Devito she believes the family feud is coming to an end, but Barney Devito doesn’t believe that, which is why he doesn’t stop Milania from beating the crap out of the baby Audriana since in a few years they will both be bitch slapping each other and throwing tables at family weddings, gatherings and their future children Christenings  so why not allow them to train on their furniture throwing and weave pulling skills while they are young. This way they can continue the Gorga/Giudice family tradition of keeping petty scores and fighting over bullshit, they been doing it since before they all joined this TV show wreckage wasn’t the old people fighting too Kathy’s mom and Tree’s dad? Or some shit like that? So there you go. It’s a family tradition they just don’t know it yet.

Next we have a boring segment of Ashley getting a pep-talk from uncle Jaime who is the gen-X version of the black sheep of the Manzo clan. It appears he passed the back sheep torch to Ashley a few years back and now he is in town to talk to Ashley about how to remain being a successful black sheep of the family and make your own money because California condos and “swallow’ tattoos cost money unless you are willing to swallow in exchange.

The Godmother gives some generic advice on her radio show to callers that are getting laughed at by her lovely children the Manzo kids. Ooh, the fun bonding activities they share!

At the Wikipedia’s young Miss Victoria is going to some kind of school prom and being properly courted by a well-dressed frightened young man who is being warned by old man Wikipedia that he will suffer from cracked nuts if young Miss Victoria comes back de-virginized. Later when it’s time to go young Miss Victoria comes down the steps with her pretty dress and Papa Ritchie thinks she forgot to put her jeans underneath.

Its family portrait day and grandpa Gorga stumbles in to the house, bitching and complaining that he can’t see shit because he just came back from the doctors who put eye-drops in his eyes just in case another fun night of table flipping and yelling (like the Christening from hell) occurs this way he doesn’t have to see it. Psycho midget Joey wants to drink with grandpa Gorga, but this makes little Gia nervous because she knows once the adults start drinking the punches start flying and she’s seen this one too many times in her young life so she tries to stop them, to no avail.

Later grandpa Gorga farts during the family photo-shoot and the photographer tells him to stop farting. But it’s too late the green toxic fart cloud is already hanging over the family picture that already got taken it represents the Gorga/Giudice feud and the fart that bonds them together.

And now the gossip/recipe cookbook Fabulicious. At Caroline’s Lauren has a surprise surprise for Caroline. (She wasn’t surprised she seen this earlier) and it’s a copy of Teresa’s latest cookbook. Lauren tells her mother Caroline what asshole Tree wrote about her in the cookbook calling her “Italian as the Olive Garden” ragging on the way Caroline prepares her fried meatballs and saying Caroline is only 1/16th Italian. So Caroline acts like she is pissed (she is still pissed from earlier when she originally read the book, but now the cameras are here so she gets worked up again) and Gregg yells “AWWW HELL NOOO!!!”

As Lauren continues to read the list of insults that Teresa printed in her cookbook mama Manzo gets more and more pissed-off specially when she is reminded that Teresa insulted her baby Christopher for wanting to open up a stripper/car-wash and Teresa says she wouldn’t want her daughters working there. That’s true I guess she wouldn’t want Gia to be the main attraction over at Bada Bing’s Car Wash Boobs and Lube, while poor Milania has to work as security. Not fair why can’t they both be the main attraction? Just kidding they are good girls, they are going to be pimping those bitches instead not being one of them , which is much better.

Caroline then says that her friend-shit with Teresa is over. The other Manzo children start  howling  a war-bark at the moon, and Lauren finishes it with “Hang around shit long enough you start to stink.”

At Kathy’s her husband Ritchie throws away the book when they also discovered Teresa called him an annoying asshole and at Melissa’s she complains to her older sister that Tree called her a copycat and she says she will hide this book from Psycho Joey and since his punk ass don’t know how to read he is not going to find out what Tree wrote about Mel. That is until the episode airs and he sees for himself.

Jacqueline shows up at Tree’s to confront her about the book, but chickens out later when she notices that Gia is on her mama’s side when it comes to Tio Joe and how “Melissa controls him.”