Yes they are coming back next week and they dragged two more Bitches that we get to make fun of too! It’s about time, this 5th season of the OC House Ho’s has been going on too fucking long. And not only that, their story lines are getting depressing. It seems that all the Bitches on this cheesey TV show are a bunch of fakers, posers and wannabees. I was getting tired of Lynne’s eviction, homeless broke ass adventures and Tamra’s foreclosure, insufficient funds and facade of a marriage falling apart at the seams bullshit. It was becoming a ‘downer’ like Lynne would say. Yep, it was really screwing up my high.

 But thank be to the Goddess of Reality TV because the NYC Bitches are gonna be back on March 4th with more cat-fights, bitchery and shenanigans and of course no money problems because one thing I notice is that the NYC ho’s got real money not like those fake ass OC Ho’s (except for Hurricane Vicki who works her french nails to the bone). I want to see Bitches with some real money that will inspire my crazy and that pay their shit on time, and don’t have one foot in the welfare office or embarrasing eviction problems.

Even Silex got some money and that Bitch got fired from her graphic designer job but I don’t see their crazy ass getting foreclose out of their condemned shack in the ghetto part of Brooklyn, ’cause even that ghetto shack costs money.

However there is a rumor swirling around that Silex is not coming back after this third season, because her royal Diva Highness Simon threw a bitch fit because Bravo would not pay him more to make a fool of himself on the show. I guess he gets payed too; he must be considered a honorary housewife.

  Alex Mccord

Alex is gonna be picking a lot of fights with all the other Bitches so she can have more air time, and her look in this picture solidifies that. Look how pissed off  she looks.This Bitch looks like she is ready to tear some Bitches  head off  and piss down her neck. I think she is just cranky because she’s hungry. What does she weight like 80 pounds? Bitch needs a sammich.

  Kelly Bensimon

Here is Kelly Bensimon who looks like she is holding her butt cheeks together,  while sticking out her chest, trying to look seductive for the camera in order to hide from the viewer, the fact that, she is trying not to fart. Really Bitch, really? This is how you gonna posse? HA HA HA! . This is what she was probably thinking to herself while the picture was being shot ‘hurry up and take the damn picture, DAMN YOU! I feel the turd saying hi, and can’t hold it any longer, huuuurrrry!’

  Bethenny Frankel

Bethenny Frankel story line will focus on her recent pregnancy and shotgun wedding before the baby is born. She will also be doing a lot of fighting with Jill Zarin and all of the other Bitches because they can’t stand each other now.

  Jill Zarin

 Our queen bee Jill Zarin will be busy, busy, busy with the usual commitments of an elite New York Socialite, like going to charity balls, shop, shop, shop and boss people around her fabric store including her husband Bobby . Also she will be getting her daughter Ali ready for college so she and Bobby can make Ali’s room into a nakid bondage room. Nice! I can relate to that. I love this Bitch as much as I love Bethenny, because they’re both Bitches with big mouths, too bad these 2 ho’s hate each other now. That screwed with me so much. DAMN IT!

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps

After getting the virtual boot from Count Grandpackula. Countess LuAnn de Lesseps is going to be feautured dating all the available bachelors in New York . Even thought she told Ramona last season it is not appropiate to be galoping  around with so many different dick ; this time it will be her doing it, because Bitch better hurry up and find another suga pappi that can support her lifestyle. She also caught the singing delusion bug that  other bitches like Kim Zolciak and Gretchen Rossi have caught. This season Countess LuAnn will  be the next Barbra Streisand and fail miserably at it.

 Ramona Singer

Ramona Singer is still bat shit crazy because shit like that just can’t be cured. She continues to march to the beat, of her own crazy war drums in her head. And since she is the sister from another mother of Hurricane Vicki Gunvalson she will also be renewing her vowels (misspeled on purpose!) to her husband Mario just like crazy ass Vicki did with Donn this last season. I am sure she will also entertain us with her ‘Ramona Crazy Dance’. That’s a whole lot of Crazy!

Sonja Morgan

 I don’t know who this new Bitch is. Her name is Sonja Morgan,  she is 45. I can tell her and Gretchen Rossi follow the same bulimia and crack diet.

Jennifer Gilbert

This is another new Bitch her name is Jennifer Gilbert they pulled her from under the concrete rocks of New York. I guess they gonna have to replace Silex at some point .

Well I can’t wait to see these Bitches back. I miss their New Yawk accents.

Maybe there was a shortage of hotties to pose nude for the month of March or maybe Kelly payed Hugh Hefner a huge amount of money upfront to let her ruin the March edition of playboy. Well the good thing is that Kelly posing created a lot of overtime hours for  many talented graphic artist, that had to work pass midnight to photoshop the shit out of Kelly’s scary leathery ass.

Those poor graphic artist are now having to got through therapy from the traumatic experience of photoshopping Kelly’s bare huge circus tee ties. Each tee tie has it’s own zip code. Kelly’s ex husband was the only man brave enough to shoot those photos or maybe he is already desentized since he was previously married to her. Kelly says they dind’t shoot her crusty ass vagina,  but still, I hope Kelly taped her dick back real good too just in case something may hang out there by accident.Oh yeah, I forgot the traumatized graphic artist took care of that too.

(Source Huffington Post)

Yep, today is my one year anniversary of talking smack on this insanity of a blog. This blog was created on a whim. One year ago today I was telling my husband about the housewives and Gretchen and Lynne and their shenanigans and he gave me this look like ’what are you talking about?’ He wasn’t familiar with the Real Housewives reality wreck, and I didn’t expect him to be.

Then he was kinda teasing me over watching reality TV shows and next thing I know I told him ‘I’m going to create a blog about it’ and he said ‘knock your self out!’  then I came up with the name at the spur of the moment, and it’s been my after work dirty hobby ever since; the rest is history. Now even my husband reads this blog and my teenage daughter watches the Housewives and clowns on those bitches with me. (She also used to make fun of me watching reality TV shows).

So thank you all that read my crazy rants!

And here is some cheesey collage…

HA HA HA HA !

Yeah yesterday it was reported by Perez Hilton that Bethenny Frankel is pregnant. Bethenny did not want everyone to find out so soon but the news leaked out when Kelly Bensimon told everybody and next minute everyone knew about it, forcing Bethenny to admit the whole thing to People but states she is pissed that the news got out so soon the way they did since she is not that far along and wanted to be further along with the pregnancy before word got out.  Bethenny admitted to People today, that she is about 2 months pregnant and apparently it was a surprise. I am very happy and excited for this loud mouthed Bitch  she got what she wanted a man and a baby. It is all going awesome for her and will continue to. Congratulations!

This is what she told People:

Bethenny Frankel, who got engaged to her boyfriend Jason Hoppy earlier this month, is pregnant with her first child she tells PEOPLE exclusively.

Although The Real Housewives of New York City star had hoped to wait until she was further along to break the news, online buzz on PerezHilton.com caused her to reveal that she’s roughly two months pregnant. “It’s premature to be telling people this,” she tells PEOPLE while fighting back tears.

Though she knows she can hardly keep secrets now that she’s a reality star, Frankel, 38, says she’d hoped to keep the news private a bit longer. “It’s not like, ‘Did I Get Botox?’ It’s not the way I wanted it to get out,” she says. “I haven’t even gone through my first trimester. We haven’t even heard the heartbeat. My [fiancé's] parents didn’t even know.”

Surprise Baby News

Frankel, who met Hoppy at the nightclub Tenjune 11 months ago, says she’s thrilled to have found The One. “We were both complete players. We never thought we would find the right person.”

As for getting pregnant before tying the knot, she says, “I’m no spring chicken. I didn’t think it was going to happen right away. Because of my age, sometimes we weren’t totally careful.”

But she admits, “I got to be honest, we are both feeling kind of proud of ourselves. We are both 38 and we were like, ‘Listen, your fish can swim and I am fertile.’ So that’s exciting.”

The couple plans to wed before she has the baby. Explains Frankel, “Because of my age, it’s not like I was going to meet a boy, and then be engaged for a year and then be married for a year before we started trying [to have kids] … I’d be 45.” She describes the way things have unfolded as “like the Triple Crown. I got engaged, we got pregnant and we’re gonna get married. It’s a miracle.”

Cravings

And while she’s less than two months into the pregnancy, Frankel says she’s already experiencing a change in her appetite.

“I’m hungry in a way that is not negotiable,” she says. “I’m not eating tremendous amount but if I am hungry, I will stab someone for food.”

She even ate a jar of pickles before she’d taken her pregnancy test. “That’s so cliché,” she says. “I just want salt. Salt on everything.”

That’s what Perez Hilton stated on his site earlier today. Apparently the rumor is that Bethenny Frankel is not only engaged but also  is pregnant at 38! And Jason Hoppy is the baby daddy, and she is doing all of this to get her own show:

A source very close to Frankel, who is getting her own spin-off show on Bravo, tells us: “Bethenny premeditated all of this! She got pregnant and got engaged all for her own show.”

I am hoping this rumor is true, this way we wont hear Bethenny’s mouth winning that she wants a baby and this is it, her clock is ticking and blah, blah, blah.

Later on today Perez went on a taunting rampage on Bethenny via Twitter. Bethenny answered him back and said this crazy ass shit on her Twiter:

Is preggers w perez hilton’s 9 blue haired babies.

“That’s what my bravo show is about. We’re going to beat jon & kate’s ratings w 1 more baby!”

God Bless that Bitch she comes up with her own spin of crazy and tells the world she is preggers with Perez baby. HA HA HA! I laughed so hard tears came out of my eyes.

If the rumor is true (that she is preggers with Jason Hoppys baby and engaged to him for being knocked up) then Congratulations Bethenny you crazy Bitch! Finally!

Bethenny Frankel will be starting on her own show that will feature her daily life and her relationship with new fiancee Jason Hoppy. The other Housewives did not even bothered to call her up and congratulate her. But I guess this solidifies the fact that Bethenny and the rest of the cast have grown apart specially Jill Zarin who last season was  best friends with Bethenny.

This article talks about Bethenny getting snubbed by other cast members:

Bethenny Frankel: None of the other ‘Real Housewives of New York’ has congratulated me on solo show

Jimmy Fallon did this little sketch of the Housewives with his own version. He got these Bitches numbers to a ‘ T ‘ specially the bossy delusional spoiled part. Fucking hilarious!

Looks like Kelly Bensimon will have to corral her  two lopsided, gigantor, circus, cement boobies together in order to pose  for the December 09′ edition of Playboy. The shots were taken by her ex husband Gilles Bensimon. But don’t worry folks she will only be partially nude so no ones eyes will bleed. Kelly will  not be showing bush, (thank God!) perhaps to hide the  alien that plays peekaboo between her legs. (Source)