On this mess, Silex get their kid a piano that came with a weird penis I mean pianist-dude and it freaked out little Frankie.  When Frankie tried to play the piano Alex tells him he can’t touch it  because it is for decoration and not to touch with his dirty little grubby Cheeto-hands and Frankie is disappointed because he really wanted a drum-set so that he can join a real loud band. BUT NOOOOO!!!

Sonja plays referee to Kelly and Ramona’s confrontation. And the two bitches dress like S&M porn-whores, but what else is old. Ramoners apologizes to Kelly for drunk text dialing her at midnight and Kelly accepts, but first she bitches Ramona out for clowning on her for being a nut case and a meth-whore, who lost her marbles at Scary Island. 

More confrontations happen when Sonja calls Cindy to come over her house alone, this way Sonja can bitch-slap her for telling Kelly about Sonja’s plans to punk Kelly at her ‘Toaster Oven Cooking Party’.  Cindy decides she doesn’t want to deal with this bitche’s bullshit right now, and so she pulls one of Gonzo’s male house-bitches and dances with him.

Gonzo is not very amused since she is the only one allowed to dance with her man-servant. Gonzo gets pissed that Donkey Teeth is ignoring her and so she rips her away from the male house-bitch and berates her for mingling with the help and remains her that only Gonzo is allowed to fuck the help.

 Then, she bitch slaps Cindy right on the Horse Teeth and bitches her out  for not having Pinot Grigio ready for Ramonzon at Cindy’s own birthday party she yells, “Ramona Singer’s a star, and you have to understand that,”. 

Gonzo also monkey punches Horsie for forcing all the other bitches  to go to the gettho of Quogue. She berates Cindy, “None of us wanted to go to Quogue”. Then Gonzo explains the order of the pecker- pecking order to Cindy, who sits there with her mouth wide open and confused. Of course this bitch can’t close her mouth with those horse teeh it is permanently open.

Since Countless LuAnn is a certified wine expert (she learned that expertise in the bedroom from new boy-toy Peppi Lapoop while she was on all fours, tying his shoe -laces) she shows up to Ramoner’s Vino and Hoochie Wear Party, just to point out and school Ramoners on how ignorant she is about Pinot Grigio Moonshine Wine, and how they make it in bathtubs during the full moon on top of a Pentagram and not in barrells in the backwoods  of New Jersey by Barney Devito like she told everybody else. Then the Countless, tells her she probably doesn’t even know why is called Pinot. Of course Ramoners is clueless but so is the Countless who’s only pretending she knows all the ins and outs of wine making and knows that Ramoners doesn’t know anything about wine so she is just fucking with her for fun.

Cindy meets Kelly in Central Park to go score some Park Meth from a crack-head. And while they are scouting for street drugs they run into Jill who is also there to buy her fix. Cindy informs Kelly what a fucked up bitch Gonzo is, and she can shove her pecking order in the deepest part of her fat culo.  Jill hopes she is top Queen Bee on that Pecker Order.

Sonja Gonzo-Nose can’t keep her crusty Chones on this season, and she seems to have a raging desperation to show her fat ass to everyone and their grandpapi. So she decides to dress up like a fallen Rainbow Brite Prostitute child and arranges a raunchy photo shoot for a calendar, were some sort of an all male baseball/firefighter team is present while she runs around with a short mini skirt and no chones! This is the second time this bitch does this shit! (Next episode she pulls the same underwear less- shit and since this recap was late I can mention it without spoiling!) And again she manages to gross out a room full of men, who are now hurling in their baseball caps.

Dumb delusional bitch thinks they’re drooling over her, but in reality they’re puking and at the same time managing to  laugh at her  and asking among themselves ‘who is the vintage tore-up, crack-whore and how did she get past security?’ After that they all turned gay. NICE GOING SONJA!

Later on Kelly and LuAss show up to visit Gonzo for her Toaster Oven Cooking Party. The bitch is all bragging that she’s cooked for royalty on her busted up toaster oven from the 70′s that she picked up at the thrift store a few years back. It is also held together by duct tape. Gonzo manages to fix a delicious fish meal for LuAnn and Kelly and they complain that the portion is tiny so they decide they’re hitting Taco Bell later. After they ditch Gonzo.

Jilliousy decides to iron things out with Alex and bravely heads out to the Brooklyn ghetto section-8 projects, where Alex lives amongst the New York gangs and drug dealers. Jill clowns on Alex and says,  she can tell Alex doesn’t work out because she has noodle arms and an old mans’ beer belly plus a serious case of Hillbilly Teeth.  Nothing like a real insult before a fake apology! And Jill is the expert on that shit.

Like I said before in another recrap these bitches are always ‘clearing the air’  they should just call it what it really is ‘throwing more turd-logs in that fucked up fire’.

 Ramoner gets super coked out because she is also having her ‘throwing more turd-logs in that fucked up fire’ meeting with Donkey Teeth and tells that bitch that she doens’t know what the fuck she is talking about because she hasn’t been happily married for 18 years, to a faithful man that worships her. Cindy bustes up laughing at Ramonzon for being an ignorant moron whose husband is pulling an Arnold with the maid and Ramoners eyes are about to bulge out of her skull because not only is she flamingly pissed at Donkey Teeth for being stupid but also the coke she snorted earlier was laced with some questionable PCP making Ramonzon’s eyes ten times more violent. After Ramonzon is done kicking Horsie in the teeth she walks away laughin like a evil-super villain.

 It’s hard to believe that once upon a time man shoulders, beast of scary island, Kelly Behemoth used to be a paid proffesional model. You gotta admit that it is impressive that she successfully was able to walk erect, come down the mountain, tape her horse size dick back and shave her body completely off all her Sasquatch hair and pretend to be human and earn a living that allows her plenty of money to afford shaving cream, razors, weedwackers or whatever the fuck this bitch needs to remove her bestial hair from her body for the rest of her life .

I guess she has a purpose in this world. No, not just for me to make fun of. But sex offenders need punishment too because, there is nothing more hideous than a shaved, Sasquatch-Bitch, with a saggy grandma wrinkley ass, and the leathery dry pruny skin, that has the texture of carne asada, that was cooked at 500 degrees in hell by the Devil; and is now being displayed on the beach as punishment to perverted sex offenders, after the earth opened up and Satan himself spit out this scary looking beast that would kill a Viagra boner.

 

This is how Kelly dresses to go check the mail at her Hamptons house in the mornings. The voices in her head told her to  prepare herself,  in case Bethenny jumps out of the bushes with a knife and tries to kill her and take her lollipos and jelly beans. That’s why she is sporting those  boxing  gloves and 2 dollar crack whore high heels .

Kelly believes wearing the silk robe over her nuked, beef jerkied, orange body gives her special powers to fight the evil Bethenny who is stalking her by making appearences in Kelly’s jelly beans. You know since Bethenny doesn’t have her own life or own husband TV show and baby.

 

Kelly Behemoth’s downward spiral of crazy has continued nonstop. She continues embarrasing herself by giving interviews where she goes into weird tangents that don’t make sense . Not only that, but also she is a Twitter nut who enjoys airing her crazy on Twitter for the world to read while she keeps making herself look crazier. Which she is!

In a recent interview loony Kelly told Harper’s Bazaar,that she is not crazy, just unpredictable. Here is what she told Harper’s Bazaar:

“I am not crazy. I am unpredictable,” Bensimon says. And in case you were wondering, “I’m not in therapy.”

 Yeah right, bitch. I think you really need to be in therapy and maybe even in some form of exorcism shit, to get rid of the evil demons. Even Andy Cohen states he feels Kelly’s breakdown is disturbing:

“I think it was deeply disturbing. It seemed like she had a break of some kind, but I can’t say exactly what it was,”

Even thought Kelly made an ass out of herself in massive and obsene proportions . Bitch says she don’t regret it, because millions of people got to see her looking foolish and crazy. I guess that’s something I will never understand since I don’t have that Attention Whore Personality disorder disease, like Kelly and all the other housewives have.

 To Kelly is better to get real shitty attention were you look like you’re ready for a straight jacket, than no attention at all. BigFoot also tries to lie and say that she don’t ’engage’ in physical fights. Yeah, because beating the crap out of your boyfriend is totally different. Stupid Bitch! Kelly is also under the delusion that the other bitches want to be like her or are jelaous of her or some shit like that. Jelaous of what? A hairy 7  feet tall Sasquatch bitch who yells ‘Al Sharpton’ while crapping on the same hand that she is holding her jelly beans with and throwing them at people?

Here is some more of the shit she had to say:

 On the other Real Housewives of New York City: “Whether it’s my nail color, my hair color, or the shoes I’m wearing, everything about me bothers them.” “They want to go to the parties I go to, they want to hang out with me, they want to do the things that I’m doing.”

 On moving forward: “I’m 42, and I have this new life,” she says. “Yes, I’m more mass market. And that’s okay. It’s my job.…I’ve worked so hard. It wasn’t always lollipops and unicorns.”  “I tell my girls, ‘Your mom gets paid to engage in inappropriate behavior.’ It’s an amazing opportunity for them to see that being mean is not okay. I tell them, ‘If you’re in a situation like this, walk out. Don’t come back with jelly beans.’”

 

 

That bitch needs to get off the crystal meth already and be put in some kind of a sanatorium for the mentally insane!

 

Thanks to Adriana Stan from Harpers’ for the info.

 

Earlier Radaronline reported that NeNe Leakes had attended an event in Los Angeles without her wedding ring. NeNe is also sweating rabbit turds that her now soon to be ex-husband Greg may turn on her and disclose all kinds of scandalous, shit about her stripper past:

“NeNe has admitted that it’s over between her and Greg and she was not wearing her wedding ring recently. “She is worried that Greg might go public about some of her secrets because she has admitted that she has some ‘skeletons’ in her closet.

First her boytoy and new nose and now this.It seems that all these house ho’s end up divorced. It’s the curse of the housewives.

Jezebel.com reported that all the housewives of New Jersey have had some kind of bullshit problem with money and or lawsuits. Including Teresa and Joe being slumlords that gotten sued by tenants and vendors. Click here to read the full gossip on that.

I found this little interesting piece of gossip on the Countless LuAnn. It seems that just like Joker Face she may or may not enjoy sex in public restrooms:

At New York magazine’s summer kickoff party at the Kimberly Hotel’s Upstairs rooftop bar on Tuesday night, we spied the class-obsessed “Real Housewife” and boyfriend Jacques Azoulay coming out of a one-person bathroom … together.

Umm, we don’t think a chapter in de Lesseps’ book, “Class With the Countess,” covers tandem bathroom visits.

Or maybe they were just smoking a joint in there.

And finally here is a picture of Kelly Behemoth. It seems that she got away from her circus trainer again and ran in New York  traffic wrecking havoc. This time with an unidentified balding man wearing a wig:

 

 

And here is a picture of Kelly with her cellulite:

 

‘Have fun with that.’

 

The argument gets more heated between the two bitches . Dina tells Joker Face that she was trying to be cool with her and told the other bitches to give her a chance. But Joker Face the psychopath that she is, showed up with the entourage of ex-cons at Dina’s husband’s place of business .This pissed Dina off and she felt the need to tell Joker Face to back the fuck off her family . But this is Joker Face we’re talking about here and she is another beast like Kelly Bensimoron Sasquatch, so poor Dina is not getting anywhere with this asshole. Joker Face pretty much tells Dina she is jealous of her when she says to Dina ‘Because you have a man you have a second husband, standing next to you because you have a family supporting you’ BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,. 

  Joker Face’s voice got louder when she was screaming stupid shit about being a victim and the book and all this other bullshit that would of come out regardless. Since she is in a reality trash TV show after all, and skeletons like these don’t stay in the closet too long when you’re a TV attention whore. The whole time those bitches were having their screaming match, I kept thinking how nice that couch was they’re sitting on and the backdrop was all nice and calm but those bitches and their  yelling totally ruined the restaurants atmosphere and also people’s  dinner who happened to unfortunately be sitting at that establishment eating.

Dinna finally sees that she is getting nowhere and decides to get up and bounce that joint. But not before she gets a chance to tell Joker Face that she is ‘crazy’ and needs help. That’s when Joker Face flips out and yells at Dina ‘DON’T YOU EVER , EVER EVER CALL ME CRAAAZZZEEEEYYYY!’ That’s the exact answer that a crazy person gives when they’re crazy, they get all defensive and crazy like she just did. I will call her crazy . JOKER FACE YOU’RE CRAZY, CRAZY, CRAZY, CRAZY, CRAZY, CRAZY, CRAZY BITCH!

 I am surprised  how Dina   just walked out of there  and didn’t throw a  drink at Joker Face. But I guess that’s why Joker Face had Chihuahua dog nice and fucked up on crack, on call, in the parking lot in his car, the whole time that Dina and Joker Face were going at it. So the minute after Dina leaves and Joker Face is done barking at her . Joker Face speed dials Danny and he comes rushing in. Notice how when Joker Face is all screaming at Dina, she doesn’t seem like she is too afraid of Dina .

But the minute Chihuahua on crack and his big mute sidekick come in to hump Joker Face’s leg, she is all crying and saying she is shaking and scared and kept saying that Dina was telling her in a bitchy tone ’We’re here to talk about me’ and stupid ass kept repeating that too. 

 Joker Face is lying and exaggerating of course and tells Danny and John what happened, which pretty much was nothing she just made a bigger deal out it than it should of been since she clearly hates and is jealous of Dina and any excuse she can use to hate on her and flip out on her she will. Actually Joker Face behaves crazy like that with everybody what the fuck am I saying. She specially hates on Dina for personal jealous reasons, yes but she also will go cuckoo ca ca on anybody if they dare disagree with her crazy ass.

Chihuahua on crack and mute sidekick John look confused and feel awkward.The ‘That was  it?’ look and the expressions  in those 2 turds faces is priceless. As a matter of fact Danny says to her stupid ass ‘So that was it?’  They both know she is full of shit.

During this episode I kept wondering if there is anything better in that town for all these bitches to do, besides shop and get their hair done and talk about Joker Face and her shenanigans.  Because while Teresa, Jackie and Caroline plus all the children and the husbands went to the little petting zoo thingy, they kept making fun of Joker Face and her penis.

 And then that one annoying bitch Kim G showed up at Jackie’s house to pretend to be friends with Jackie. I wonder if Kim G reported with Joker face first, before visiting Jackie because if she didn’t , Joker Face is gonna put a foot up her old ass . Unless the old hag  is on a mission from Joker Face to get Jackie to talk shit about Joker Face and then report back to her.

That Kim G is such a hypocrite. Don’t these dumb hags know that there is a camera following them? When Joker Face was crying to Kim G about how Ashley told Joker Face she was gona kick her ass, Kim G was telling Joker Face ‘Well lets do what we have to do here and call the Police!’ That bitch must not do shit all day so her new hobby is to follow Joker Face around like a puppy dog, hoping to get a spot on the ‘Ho’ wives’ so I can make fun of her .

 Kim G reminds me of that gossipy neighbor bitch everyone has dealt with in one life or another, that always looks out her window to see what everybody else is doing and comes over pretending to be nice to you to get gossip and dirt on you. Bitch gets in my nerves!

 Well maybe their lives  it’s just like the Sopranos. You know while the men are out doing their  mafia shit wich includes the mandatory cheating with various ho’s and all the schemes they pull to have their  house bitches  living the life of Ryley those bitches are out getting their hair did and talking shit about each other since they don’t have to go to work or nothing . In this town the bitch to talk all the juicy shit  about is  Joker Face because she is the old whore of that lil’ boring town.  Sucks to be them.

Joker Face has the nerve to say that she is traumatized of having sex because she sent smut videos of herself to Steve . Then she lies and says that he video taped her secretly.  Whatever ho’! I wonder if she was saying this crazy shit before, or after she called herself a born again virgin and tried to lie to everyone that she was going to become celibate.  With this ho’ you know damn well that wether creepy Steve was video taping her fugly ass, or she was sending him videos of her self she was all in on it.

 Joker Face is a self admited pervert and weirdoe of the 10th level. She even makes a weird comment when she tells her new ‘friend’ that if she stays single she is gonna have to get a huge dog like her friend has.  I thought. EEEEWWWW!!! Yeah, watch that clip again. And notice how when that one ignorant bitch compares Joker Face’s arms to Michele Obama and throws Joker Face a kiss ass complement , Joker Face eats it up like a starving stray dog .

 I bet Joker Face  told  all these ho’s she is gonna help Bravo pick one of them to be the next ho’ wife and she get them a spot on Housewives if they hang out with her while listening to the psycho babel, ignorant shit she spews out all day, not to mention her out of control, insane shenaningans and thats why those dumb bitches tolerate her. I wonder how many of these ho’s she still talks to after filming ended. I know she don’t talk to Danny or Kim G  anymore. What about all the other ho’s?

Anyways, one minute Joker Face is crying that she doesn’t feel sexy because the evil Steve molested her virtuous celibate self and the next minute she is at some strip joint humping a pole  while Chihuahua on crack and the rest of the dildos she has following her around like dogs in heat are watching her and jerking each other off.

 And the bitch was  a pro on the pole too! She also bragged about how she met her ex-husband while she was a prostitution, pole-humping ,crack whore, and that  her dilapidated house is the trophy she got as payment for marrying that 80 year  old rich man. Then Joker Face started reminiscing about her prostitution, stripper past  when it used to rain money on her, while men gawked at her when she humped the pole, while high on crack . And that was 100 years ago and she remembers it like it was yesterday.

 Kim G also showed up with her old saggy, granny, prunny, ass  and tried to hump the pole but it wasn’t really working out for her. Maybe AARP now covers pole dancing for seniors like her, who want to stay in shape and be hip. She still looked ridiculous.

The men had a poker night game and spend like a grand on food and weed and the store. What else cost that much? They also invite Ashley’s new boyfriend to mafia intimidate his punk ass. But their plans get fucked up when Ashley throws a fit over something stupid and Jackie kicks her out of the house. Joe gets turned on by that.

 

 
Dina the most likable of all these skanks decided it was time to leave the show and goes into hiding from Joker Face because Dina just can’t tolerate Joker Face’s psychotic shit anymore . Joker Face enjoys obsessing over these ho’s but specially Dina. Joker Face is clearly jealous of Dina and has constant fights with her mirror because she took a look in the mirror   and  the mirror told her she is as fugly as an old piece of carne asada that resembled the grim reaper after it  was left in the Nevada desert to rot in the summer in the 110 degree weather . Then the mirror showed Joker Face her own reflection and it  scared her and made her more  jealous of Dina, but she tries to say this empowered her. Yeah whateves!

Joker Face has always been obsessed with Dina I know these ho’s talk a lot of shit about Joker Face too, but bitch is crazy and an instigator of bullshit and she likes putting herself in situations were she acts like a narcissistic, super egotistical, obnoxious, asshole  who has to be the center of drama and attention and nobody can disagree with her ever, so people end up having no choice but  hating her antics because she is impossible to deal with. I’m surprised the Bravo producers can deal with her.

Joker Face’s life must be a living nightmare because of her own destructive behavior just by seeing all the so called friends, she goes through. This is why Dina decided to bail out of filming. She got tired of that bitches shit and felt she rather be hanging out with her cats and petting them and not dealing with some crazy bitch who gets into fights with her own mirror while obsessing over her. 

 

 

 

 (Yes, I realize this is not Snow White! But Dina looks more like the Sleeping Beauty ho’ than the Snow White because of her long blonde hair and Joker Face fights with her mirror!)

I wans’t very happy with Dina leaving and shit, but then again I don’t understand how Dina thought that this low brow show was gonna be about her and her family and friends having fun . Hasn’t she watched reality shows before? Oh thats right she was in a prior one on her wedding. In any case Dina was likeable the most likeable one out of all of them so in a way I can see that she made a good decision leaving that show plus it’s easier and more fun for me as a blogger to make fun of a psycho ass ho’ like Joker Face than it is to make fun of a girl who seems more normal and nicer despite her personal life. Still I will miss Dina.

 

YOU’RE IN HIGH SCHOOL AND WHILE YOU’RE IN HIGH SCHOOL I’M IN BROOKLYN!

On part 1  Alex was asked about going Brooklyn on Jills ass. We get to see the scenes of Alex delivering the ‘messague’, break out in hives and rip Jill’s face off. Alex explains that she got sick of putting up with Jill’s abuse and looking down on her for 3 years.

 Alex expresses that she always felt like tearing Jill a new asshole, but held back because she wanted to feel accepted by the fabulous circle of shit heads she wanted so badly to be part of .So she was forced to be a kiss ass, but finally she got tired of kissing ass and said ‘FUCK IT!’ So she ended up having to let her hidden ‘balls’ come out and tear those stuck up bitches a new one.

Alex flips off LuAnn and before you know it LuAnn starts her shit with Alex, about how Alex jumped in the middle of the Bethenny and Jill wars when it was none of her fucking business. Those 2 bitches are bickering at each other . Alex jumps on  ‘dumb drag queen’ LuAnn and tells that ho’ bag  she is a hypocrite and that she was getting involved too so shut the fuck up.

 LuAnn starts shushing Alex and calls her ‘dahling‘ Alex and Ramona then look at each other and say : what is that dumb drag queen doing? Alex then says she is happy she went Brooklyn on Jill’s ass and says she will do it again too, with the exception that this time she will deliver her own message and not use Bethenny’s message, but would still punch Jill in the mouth the same way she did the first time.

 Jill calls Alex  a ‘coward’ for not delivering her own message to Jill . Jill says that she is not friends with Alex anyways, so she don’t give a rats ass that Alex went ape shit on her.

  All of the sudden Sasquatch tells Alex to cross her legs. Because Sasquatch is the decency police!

Alex tells Jill that she was trying to be cool with Jill and talk to her and shoot the shit, but Jill is such an entitled stup up asshole, that doesn’t want to allow other people whom she feels are below her to be part of the fabulous circle of assholes she runs with. So Alex decided all that useless Jill ass kissing was exhausting and it was easier and more fun to just monkey punch Jill in the nuts.

Jill keeps saying ‘WE’RE NOT FRIENDS!..I NEVER CALLEWD YOU MY FRIEND!’  BITCH YOU’RE A FUCKING PEASANT  WAGE SLAVE!! WE’RE NOT FRIENDS SO FUCK YOU!.

Then Jill throws LuAnn under the bus and says that LuAss was the one talking about Alex’s crazy ass kids, crawling up peoples legs. LuAnn looks at Jill and says OH NO SHE DIND’T!

 Alex tells Jill that she is a backstabbing 2 faced lying bitch, whose being bulliying her for 3 years, telling Alex how to live her life the way Jill sees fit. Alex continues by letting Jill have it some more and says to Jill , bitch you fight dirty you go to gossip columns you plant bullshit stories you’re jealous of everybody, you try to get people not to film with other people! Jill’s fangs come out and hisses at Alex ‘Just because you say it it doesn’t make it true’ .Damn! did you see that? That’s Jill being defensive because SHE KNOWS IT’S TRUE!

 Alex gets asked by Andy why she forgave Ramona and Bethenny when they were also rude and Bethenny called Simon ‘revolting’ but Alex says its because once she smacked them around a little bit, they were cool. And never said anything bad about Alex or gay ass Simon again. Jill keeps reminding Alex they’re not friends and that Alex was ‘channeling the devil’ during fashion week and she is ugly. Then she gives Alex a fake ass apology.

Then Andy says what’s with the hives bitch? Alex says its because she desperately needs a tan.Pobrecita! And then Andy asked why Simom is a bloated fat ass  this year and Alex says it’s because he quit smocking crack. Then Alex proudly says he will starts smocking crack again soon and be in speedoes next year ! Andy gets all excited and says that we all have something to look forward to specially him! EEEEWWW!!!  Someone needs to tell Simon not to wear those speedos for American TV he needs to wear the baggy gangsta shorts like a decent person none of that European up your ass thong  shit on my TV . PLEASE!

‘THE RAMONA COASTER!’

Then it’s Ramona’s turn and of course they show the Ramona coaster clips of all her crazy shenanigans all the way down to the wedding renewal. Andy tells Ramona that she smacked everyone with a 2 by 4. Andy reads an email to Ramona about how she didn’t renew shit and she is still a crazy rude bitch who likes to spit on people  .

Ramona insist that she changed. Alex says people shouldn’t expect Ramona to change and suddenly just be ‘mellow’ and this is Ramona we’re talking about its pretty good for Ramona the changes she made.

 Then Ramona tells LuAss her ridiculous one shoulder Wilma Flintstone dress is a ugly cheap whore getup.

 Another email for Ramona this one asking Ramona if she had plastic surgery . Ramona says she doesn’t remember how old she  is and she didn’t have plastic surgery.Andy asks Ramona what injectables she had and she in turn ask Andy what injectables he’s had and he says ‘none’. I guess no one wants to admit the work they’ve had.

 Then of course Ramona gets called crazy eyes and reminded of her scary crazy  eye- cat walk on the runway were she was ‘channeling the devil’. And you can tell Ramona doesn’t like getting teased over her eyes, because she gets all crazy eyes and attitudy on Andy .

 Then Ramona gets asked about flirting with that old fart from ‘Hooters’ and Kelly starts preaching to Ramona because St. Kelly doesn’t do  indiscretions like that, unless it involves spreading her huge hairy Sasquatch legs naked for Playboy for a couple bucks.

 Ramona says she likes to kiss and grind on everyone and Mario was cool with it because he was with his girlfriend at the time anyways, so it’s all good. Then Alex says that Ramona made out with all of the other bitches while on vacation.  

Jill then gets asked for  being a total  insane bitch at the Ramona , ’Tru Renewal’ party, were she  took  revenge on Ramona for ruining her Kodak moment. We get another fake apology from Jill.

And back to Ramona for punching Beth in the face at the Brooklyn bridge. Ramona starts to apologize to Bethenny for being an asshole. But Kelly gets jealous because this is not about her . So in order to make it about herself, Kelly starts to  psycho hostile, attack Ramona and calls herself stupid while punching herself in the head repeating ‘Stupid Kelly! Stupid Kelly!’ (That’s because Kelly knows she is stupid and this is her way of acknowledging it !)

Then Bethenny gets asked about her happy life now that she won the lotto and getting everything  she wanted like Jason, and a  baby. Well you bitches know already. We see the clips of Bethenny and all the good stuff thats being happening to her. And they show the clips of Beth and her hot man. Bethenny says Jason is a good player who is not Facebooking  or Tweeting or Twaating and it is what is is. Bethenny says she  is happy with her new baby and husband and starts crying.

 And of course they dont’ show Kellys face. I bet she was grinding her teeth in jealousy. Bethenny is back to being the skinny girl again in less than a couple weeks, after farting out that baby. Beth says she only gained 35 lbs. She is kinda like a skeleton with huge boobies. Bethenny gets addressed about the  ‘media whore’ accusations . Beth says she is not a ‘media whore’, but she will use the press to make that green. Good for that bitch.

Then Kelly gets asked why she called Bethenny a ‘media whore’  and accused Bethenny of putting her bussiness out there. Kelly keeps pointing fingers at Bethenny and accusing her of putting her business out there of course, Kelly is a crazy delusional lying bitch and we all know that. When Bethenny asks Sasquatch if she can provide proof  and name publications that Bethenny talked shit to about Kelly, stupid ass Sasquatch Kelly cannot even pull a bullshit lie out of her butthole if it was to save her life and at least come up with a bunk publication name and stupid Kelly she gets caught in a lie and she knows it. So she starts to  scramble up a lie but fails miserably at it so she just starts attacking Bethenny by acting dumb. What a MORON!  

Sasquatch ass Kelly,  keeps going on and on saying she is not going to answer Bethenny and starts sweating because she knows she is lying and tries to change the argument to something else  by saying ‘What are you doing right now?!’  And Bethenny answers like a normal person “I’m responding to something that you’ve said!’

 By this time Kelly was able to come up with half a lie and starts saying some shit about ‘the people that worked for Bethenny planting lies about Sasquatch’s family in the press. Alex says to Kelly‘I never read anything about you’re family in the press!’ I don’t think anybody did either.

 Kelly just keeps sinking deeper in her self made bullshit hole and drowning in it! I was embarrased for this idiot!  Then she starts with Alex and tells her ‘Alex Mccord don’t ever put words in my mouth’ and Alex says I didn’t you asshole! We’re done! Andy shuts this conversation down because of course that beast is crazy and Andy knows they getting nowhere.

 Then the peeing moment. Andy asks Bethenny were she draws the line on what is being shown on TV because this season we’ve seen Beth sitting on the crapper peeing on a stick.

 Bethenny says when she starts fucking Jason on camera then arrange an intervention.Horny Countless LuAnn says’ Thats a new show dahling!’And gets all exicted because she wants to see Jason nakid too. I wonder what Jason thinks of the peeing scene. Bethenny was like whatves I don’t care that I peed on TV . I think she should of close the door. No shit!

Kelly says she needed to be the director during that scene.

Some other email calls Kelly a fly and says that Bethenny used an AK 47 to take that fly out. LuAnn was laughing at Kelly for being crazy and a retard whore and you could tell Kelly wasnt liking that shit cause she was looking down all sad when LuAnn was calling her stupid and pointing out the fact that Kelly has mental problems. Insert sad music here for Kelly Bensimoron Sasquatch.

Ramona got hot in her crotch I think she is having a hot flash or she is farting a wet, smelly, hot one.

Then of course the on going Vietnam war between Jill and Beth gets discussed . Starting of course with Bitch ‘Get a hobby!’And we see the clips of Jill running away from Bethenny, when she was trying to make up with her and Bethenny is painfully watching this shit about to cry.

Jill is acting as if she cares.  You can see during the clips that at first Jill didn’t want to talk to Bethenny anymore, but once Bethenny gets engaged  is when Jill’s attitude starts to morph and suddenly Jill, wanted  to make up with Bethenny and be friends again. By that time Bethenny didn’t want to talk to Jill anymore. Then we see Jill crying and saying she thinks Beth should forgive her.

  Jill and her hooker green stilettos,  look like she bought them at the Leprechaurn whore store. Jill says the power of the evil Satan cameras made her say the evil poison that spewed out of her mouth then she apologizes to Bethenny, (and pretended like she really meant it!) cries some more cocodrile tears  and calls herself a ‘New York Bitch’.

 Jill says she stayed away from Bethenny to not stress her out because Bethenny was preggers before. Beth says what happens was they were friends and Beth tells Jill the fame and famewhoring took over Jill. Jill turned into a crazy bitch.

Jill gets reminded that she is a bitch who counts everyting and rubs shit in your face. Jill gets called out on being the bitch that gives you a bagel and then talks about it for weeks to everybody on megaspeaker. Bethenny reminds Jill how she said ‘we are done!’ and also how she tried to  get people to not film with Beth.

 Then they all started taking over each other. LuAnn says they all try to sabotage filming with each other, like a pit of snakes. Alex tells Jill she is a bitch and reminds her she emailed Simon telling him to not film with Bethenny. She also confronts Jill on trying to ‘cut Bethenny out of housewives’.

Jill was getting scrambly and nervous trying to come up with good excuse-lies to justify her actions and asks Alex to show her the email.Alex tells her she is not crazy like Jill, keeping emails for 17 months.

 Jill tries to say she didn’t want to make up with Beth on camera  but off camera meaning she was pushing that drama.

Jill then tries to spew out another excuse and says that, she just didn’t want to make up with Beth because it was too early in the morning or some stupid shit like that. They bickered back and forth for like 20 min. Bethenny tells Jill she is a hypocrite ho’.

Bethenny says she herself did change but Jill is still a Bitch. Beth doesn’t believe that Jill has changed even thought Jill is now trying to pretend to change her tune. Bethenny says that  Jason didn’t like Jill much since the day he met her because Jill can be a snotty materialistic Bitch.

 Jill turns on the water works and starts crying and leaves with her green Leprechaurn whore-stilettos on. Kelly starts her shit because her meth kicks in and says that the fame is embarrassing or some shit . That bitch of course doesn’t make sense.

 

 

Part 2

Jill comes back or else they would of fire her ass. Andy looks at Bethenny and reminds Bethenny of the comment she made about Jill when she said that ‘the tides are  turning on Jill and that’s the reason why were having this conversation’ . Beth says that Jill always wants people to like her.

 Alex says that Jill doesn’t give a rats ass about the friendship with Bethenny going to shit  .  Alex says that Jill is only apologetic because she only cares that she looked like an asshole to the public and now everyone hates her. Because everyone now knows how she really is . Bethenny confronts Jill about how she only wanted to make up with Beth to look like a good person after  Jill heard that Beth got engaged and then pregnant .

Andy asks Bethenny why she wasn’t ready to make up with Jill when Jill was ready to make up with her. Bethenny answers  that it was because she was preggers and stressed out from all the bullshit  and had some blood clot. (I bet the stress that Bigfoot caused her in scary island contributed to her being sick while preggers). Then more bickering and talking over each other went on.

Andy says that Simon told him that Jill is a jelaous bitch and hates it when other people get more fame for their famewhoring and Jill hates it that Bethenny got her own show.

 Jill of course denies it and tries to kiss Bethennys ass. Jill says she is supportive and Simon is a lying shit-head who wears dresses. Then she goes on a spewage bullshit about how she  is supportive of every single one of the other bitches and mentions all their names even Ramona, but except Alex (notice how she never mentions Alex and look at Alex she is looking at Jill like she is channeling the devil like Sasquatch would say).

Ramona says that’s bullshit and that Jill called her up when Beth got her show and told her to not talk to Beth or film with her. Jill gets all pissed at Ramona and yells ‘YOU ARE SUCH A LIAR! ’ denies, denies, denies!

 Jill keeps apologizing to Bethenny. Kelly is pissed Bethenny didn’t want her in the show, because they don’t really know each other.UH?! Stupid bigfoot. 

Jill says she was shocked that Bethenny’s dad died. Then blames Alex for not telling her that Bethenny’s dad was dying then. They all talk over each other and Andy has to referee their asses.

Alex yells at Jill and tells that bitch she is a liar because Alex did tell Jill about Beth’s dad situation  and yells at her for not calling Bethenny.Kelly keeps trying to suck up to Jill but nobody listens. Alex yells at Jill and says, Bitch it was online you moron!

Andy brings up that Jill played the cancer card and she holds on to voice mail  messages for ever, like a weirdoe.

More arguing goes on and Jill says that they were  issues that where edited out.Bethenny says lets just murder Jill . Another email gets read were another reader rags on Jill and her showing her true colors. Jill can’t take it anymore because she knows it’s true and  tries to get up and leave again while crying because she got called out on all her shit and knows she is wrong.

Even Sonja came out and of course the only questions that they asked was ‘how many times you’re getting laid in a week come on Sonja!’. Sonja says she is worried about Sasquatch not getting laid enough. Kelly says she never had a one night stand but spreading her legs for Playboy for everyone and their grandpapi to see it’s okay.

Sonja Gonzo continues her talks about how much she likes sex and admits she is a hooker because she has a lot of satisfied ‘customers’. I KNEW IT! Sonja also admits she was a waitress at some puterio and thats how she met her suga papi.Then they went on talking about the settlement that Sonja got after divorcing her sugar grandpapi and I don’t really care about that so lets just move on.

 Jill admited that the one liners dind’t work for her this season and she is giving the throne back to Bethenny. Alex realizes that this is the phrase that Kelly used when she insulted her at scary island and told her she was channeling the devil. I think Alex should channel the devil to monkey punch bigfoot in he mouth.

Then Bethenny calls LuAnn a dumb drag queen that grew a penis after her husband left herass.Bethenny says that Countless was a bitch ‘drag queen’ and Bethenny bullied and nailed her silly ass but after that,  they were cool again.I can’t believe LuAnn was laughing about Bethenny calling her ass a ‘drag queen’. Maybe there’s a glimpse of hope for that Bitch.

Andy asked the ho’s if they are aware that when they’re in public ripping each others face off  there is people around. Methinks is the ghetto in each of these bitches that never left them so they are immune to public embarrassment. Even though LuAnn tries to say she is embarrassed but we all know that’s bullshit.

LuAnn says she likes to kiss and Sonja tries to turn Andy straight.

 The meltdown with Kelly gets discussed and Kelly scary island clips are shown of her bulldozing every body’s vacation and of her accusing Bethenny of trying to kill her. Of course Kelly is not admitting shit.

Bitch is sitting there saying I never said that that’s not me. Did you see Andy’s terrified look on his face? and of course Kelly says she was a victim of systematic bullying and bitch kept on and on accusing everybody else of bullying her when all the bullying was being done by her crazy ass.

Never did this retarded cunt, ever admit that she was the crazy one who shit all over that vacation and the one who attacked the other women , while snorting line after line of meth . Kelly kept  rambling on her insanity spewage, Ramona said this stupid whore doesn’t make sense and she just wants to jump on Kelly and punch her in the throat. I’m sure at this point even Andy feels that way.

Kelly keeps saying she had no break down but break through. Andy just looks at her like ,are you serious bitch?. Ramona is gonna bust a vein through her asshole because she can’t take the crazyness from this dumb broad anymore.

 Kelly pulls another lie out of her hairy Bigfoot ass and says that the producers had to have  an intervention, of camera with Bethenny, which obviously never happened. Bethenny calls her ‘delusional’ And she is .Is this bitch so strung out on drugs and delusional she is actually believing this shit? Kelly sits there making up bullshit stories she continues to  ramble things that never took place and everyone is looking at her in disgust, confusion and horror .

Kelly says she is a scarecrow and a stupid idiot then her dumb ass throws another bullshit lie up in the air hoping it it will stick,by saying  that she was ‘forced’ at gun point to go on this trip by Bravo and Andy tells her THAT’S BULLSHIT BITCH! But of course there is no arguing with  a crazy demented Sasquatch bitch  who suffers from schizoprenia  and a serious case of asshole  . Kelly  answers Andy with her dialeted meth pupils and says all in a psychotic tone ‘yes they did everyone knows that they forced me Andy , Bravo forced me!’

 You could tell Andy and Ramona wanted to get up and knock that bitch the fuck out.  And of course  stupid ass LuAnn tries to defends Kelly but eventually even she admits Kelly  instigated alot of the shit, because it is so OBVIOUS!  Kelly kept saying it was disgusting and says’ I was embarrased’ Bethenny tells her ,‘you should be embarrased’ bitch. But of course Sasquatch is not embarrased for herself  like she should be . I am embarrassed for her. No, seriously I was.

It’s funny how Kelly says ,’ it was disgusting’ and ‘the most vile situation I’ve ever been in my entire life’  and blah blah blah. It’s so hilarious in an ironic demented way how she describes herself to a ‘T” when she is saying it was ‘disgusting’ and ’vile’but then twistes it and says, it was the other bitches being disgusting and vile. What a weirdoe! The other Bitches told her ass she was crazy and should go to the loony bin so that’s when it was her turn to throw a fit  and decides to get up, leave and take her mentally unstable ass  to got snort more meth.

 

“She just makes up whatever she wants to say. She’s going to tell me she’s an African American Asian woman in a minute. And we’re like okay, no, you’re not.”

Part 3

After Bethenny says that Kelly is a crazy mentally ill ho’ and next she is gonna say that she is an Asian African American woman who  just makes up anything she wants and acts like  the meltdown she had in scary island never happened, which is dangerous. All the bitches kept bringing up how this ho was picking fights and Bethenny says that Kelly was kicked out of scary island, ‘escorted by a producer’ .(It took 7 guys in yellow jackets with nets to trap her crazy ass  before they threw her in the van headed for the loony bin) 

Kelly reminds me of the loser turds they show on that show ‘Intervention’. Yep, that’s they show that Kelly should be on. All the other bitches  Ramona, Beth, Sonja and Alex are talking about how Kelly was crazy and mental, bullying people and pissing on peoples food. Sonja says that after the crazy bitch left they were all happy.  Kelly suddenly comes back. Did ya’ all noticed how that bitch was licking her lips like a crackhead when she came back? UHHMMM?!!

Kelly  is being all attitudy like always then she starts her shit with Bethenny again. Sonja mentions that Bethenny was not picking fights with the beast she was minding her own business cooking for everyone while on vacay. But Kelly has to start throwing her meth induced attacks and says ‘She wasn’t cooking the chef was cooking for her‘ ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?! SHE ATE THE FOOD SHE SAW BETHENNY COOKING?!

Kelly obviously doesn’t like that the other bitches are all calling her out on her psychotic episode which she pretends never happened.

 

Ramona reminds Kelly  bitch’ you told me you don’t have feelings’ yeah, I guess Kelly told Ramona that throught her marriage she had no feelings. UHH? Then Kelly calls Ramona  a drunk . Kelly says that the other bitches should apologize to her because she is Kelly. But then Ramona tells her she should apologize for ruining their vacation. I agree but to Sasquatch that doesn’t mean shit because she is an asshole.

 Andy asked Kelly if she recovered from her mental breakdown she answers ‘recover from what?’   The other ho’s and Andy are giving each other some confused, horrified looks.See this bitch is in so much denial she needs to be in a insane asylum for the criminally insane and please put Joker Face in there with her and Bravo can film them. ( I better shut up before I give those bastards ideas) Andy asks her again if she went coo coo ca too but Kelly continues to act like nothing happened with her whole going ape shit  spectacle  she so psychotically displayed at the vacation. I bet  she’s  flipped out like this before,  that’s why it don’t face her that everybody is telling her that she is crazy to her face.

 And why does Kelly asks those bitches if they’re jealous ? Jealous of what? That she has a pinga between her hairy legs? I don’t get it ? What are they supposed to be jealous of? Embarrassed for Kelly maybe, jealous I don’t think so.

 

Andy brings up how  once Kelly was escorted out of the island by the men with nets Jill had to show up to put a final turd on top of their already ruined vacation. And of course the clips are played so these bitches relieve the nightmare.

 

Sonja Gonzo says they threw  a friend out and she deserved it because bitch didn’t call and that was rude. Sonja also says that Jill could of made up with Bethenny in New York instead of flying out there stirring more drama.

Jill says she went because Ramona had insisted she go to that vacay with her.

Ramona asks Jill why did she not meet Sasquatch ass Kelly at the airport after she went ape shit to make sure she gets to the loony bin safe but Jill says that Kelly was chained and shackled safely in a cage and she also doesn’t  give a rats ass  about Kelly anyways. Plus Jill also denies Kelly’s obvious and various mental diseases fueled by meth.

Jill then looks at Ramona and yells , and by the way thanks a lot bitch, for not letting me and Bobby use your shitter after a 9 hour flight! Then a screamin match between Ramona and Jill .

Jill blames Alex for getting kicked out of the pedicure party .Jill is going full throttle after this bitch now.

Kelly accuses Alex of ‘acting’ because Kelly thinks other people do the same shit she does, all the time.Kelly kept instigating more shit I think the roids are kicking in about here. Bitch is like a ranging bull, but keeps saying she was bullied . Yeah this is coming from this shemale that beat up her own boyfriend with her manly fists. This bitch is embarrassing and she just keeps embarrassing herself . But she doesn’t realize this shit.

 

Andy then picks on LuAss the Countless. Andy brings up the short lesbian Courtney and LuAnn makes a lame ass excuse for not kissing him. Bitch tries to say it was because she wasn’t ready to kiss him .LuAnn doesn’t admit the short lesbian breath rieked like the inside of a coffin that was just dug up from the grave. Andy asks LuAnn about the current boyfriend Jac the french guy who is also Jewish and asks LuAnn  if the Count is racist asshole against Jewish people. LuAnn tries to say it was some other lame excuse that had to do with her but no one was buying it. 

Did you all notice how when Andy asked her if she fucked around on the Count she says I don’t have to answer shit bitch. In other words yes I did it ain’t none your bussines. See easy. Ramona tells LuAnn bitch you just admited it by saying that dumbass!  We discovered that LuAnn’s title wil be striped once she remarries. LuAnn says she deserves at least her courtesy title.

 Andy said that Courtney got emails for being a short stinky lesbian.  LuAnn says that right now, she is still fucking him in addition to new  boy toy Jac .And LuAnn makes Jac and Courtney play tennis matches against each other and whoever wins gets to fuck her.NICE! Andy tells LuAnn that Kim Zolciak said that LuAnns song sucked ass and LuAnn answers, fuck that bitch Kim!

Then a trip to Kelly land again Andy questions her about her contradictions of being a prude but then being naked on Playboy. This bitch seriously defends being on Playboy to give her daughters self steem. EUUKKAAAYY THEN!

 When Alex got asked about the pictures she took naked and how there was a double standard between hers and Kellys Playboy pictures Jill jumps in and says that the scary Alex pictures can’t be compared to Kellys. Because Alex pictures where creepy and taken at Simons hotel hallway. Jill made sure she repeated this to get Simon fired from the hotel because she hates people who are not rich like her and she never changed she is the same bitch she is always being.

In the end nothing really got resolved with all these ho’sand it was a very loong3 part reunion. However I didn’t expect anything to get resolved especially with Sasquatch Kelly in the mix. Andy should of had the loony bin squad phone number on speed dial just in case he needed to call them during the reunion . Bravo really needs to stop exploiting this mentally ill beast.

 Bravo is the new version of the of the traveling circus freak shows, that used to exploit people back in the day for being deformed freaks and Andy is the ring master. We’ll see what happens next season and if they bring Sasquatch back or will they be filming her from the insane asylum? Untill next season bitches.

Ramona is setting up the location of her wedding renewal at a place called ‘The Pierre’ and it kinda looks like the entrance at the  Haunted Mansion at Disneyland. That painting of the woman on the wall looked like the eyes were following the camera. But if it makes Crazy eyes Romaine Lettuce happy then whatves.  The wedding coordinator Roberta, asks Ramona how many people will be present Ramona says it’s gonna be a private affair with only 50 people and a crew of 18 cameramen plus everybody and their momma in the whole nation that owns a TV is also watching .

Jill and Bethenny met for a final try at reconciliation at a place called Le Cirque.

Jill says that she asked Bethenny to lunch because this fight is gone on too long  and also because Jill needs to be in control of these ho’s and now she needs to be there up Bethenny’s ass to control what’s going on, with Bethenny the new baby and new huuusband.

Jill begs Bethenny and apologizes for shutting her out all those 57 times and tells Bethenny she should forgive her. Jill also says to Bethenny ‘I don’t gossip about you ‘Yeah right! And I know Bethenny is thinking the same thing. Then Jill continues with her long spewage about how she feels bad in her participation in being a royal spoil bitch and how she just wanted to make Bethenny beg some more to reconcile but it backfired on her, BAW WA WA WA!!! Bethenny tells Jill see this bitch? This is the smallest violin in the world playing a sad sad song for you!

Jill continues her crying and while on her camera interview she cries and cries and says that there is no reason for Bethenny to cut her out . No reason at all. Except that she kept shutting the door on Bethenny’s face all those 50 times and when Bethenny finally got tired of her she walked and when Jill saw that she flipped ’cause she realize Bethenny wasn’t coming back. The looks Bethenny is giving her like she wants to rip Jill’s tongue of lies out.

Jill tries to bribe the pregnant woman with potato pancakes. But Bethenny is smarter than that. Or maybe the potato pancakes would of worked but then Jill had to go a put the foot in her trap again when she starts with ‘ I have to get rid of toxic people in my life’ And of course Bethenny is expecting her to say LuAss but Jill brings up Alex. Bethenny starts laughing at Jill and looks at her and says Bitch are you high? “Alex is toxic?’ It almost sounded like Bethenny was going to choke on her food. Jill continues with her wild accusations she whines ‘ You don’t know you haven’t seen this side.’ Bethenny reminds Jill that she called Bethenny toxic in the past. So Jill glosses it over with ‘ I thought you were at the time’.

Jill keeps using the excuse that being a royal pain in the ass, is her part of her cute princess personality and that she is not changing even thought she knows she is wrong. Bethenny lets Jill have it and says to Jill ‘  You don’t see yourself on the outside looking in, I don’t think that you do. You create arguments and  drama and pick fights with people and count things.. then you have to deal with the residual damage’ At this point Jill is still being a wall you can tell by the look on her face that she has that she is not accepting this and Jill’s attitude is Oh well, “I guess that’s my personality’ and tells Bethenny ‘I’m not perfect ! Bethenny is still trying to get through to Jill and reminds her that everyday we all should be evolving and becoming better people . But it is all still going over Jill’s head whose answer is ‘ I do everyday. I wake up and I try to do the right thing’ Which means Jill did her part and  she picked the right outfit for the day and everyone else has to accommodate ‘Queen Jill’s off with your head’ personality.

But then Bethenny hits the nail in the coffin. and tells Jill ‘The problem is you don’t take responsibility’ for your fuck ups. And you’re having a lot of problems with people right now !’ And that’s when Jill breaks down and cries . Bethenny looks at Jill nods and says I thought so Bitch!

 

Oh God no! Why did they have to show us this scene with LuAss singing Karaoke! WHY WHY!? LuAss has always had a dream of torturing people with her raspy ass man voice. So she trows a Karaoke party and after slamming 61 shots of tequila(damn that bitch can drink!) she goes up on stage to sign her number one hit single and I hope this stupid song doesn’t get stuck in my head or I am blaming LuAss for it!. All the other bitches, of course show up because they want to pretend to kiss LuAnn and her delusions. Even thought they feel stupid being there. Kelly shows up saying her annoying ‘HIIIII!! HIII!! HIIII!!’.

Sonja Gonzo shows up and asks LuAnn if she is still dating that short lesbian Courtney. LuAnn says she had to break up with the short lesbian because her breath smelled like she ate a shit sandwich all the time and LuAss counl’dt take it anymore. TOLD YA’! SHE DID HAVE SOME RANK BREATH! Anyways, LuAnn had to let stinky breath go and found herself some French guy who brushes his teeth and has some money  but is in desperate need of an eyebrow wax.

So now it’s LuAnn’s big debut she is drunk off her ass and puts on her Wilma Flintstone dress that she wears in all the other episodes, then she goes on to sing her number one dance single. It sounds like the bitch should be competing for some kinda of a RuPaul’s Singing Drag Race because she looks and sounds like a tranny.

Money cant buy you class it can surely buy you aaass . Elegance is a whooore!

After LuAnn’s drunken tranny performance, all the bitches where hanging out getting hammered . Gonzo starts the conversation about who is going to Ramona’s wedding. Of course LuAnn’s know it all holier than thou ass,  takes over the conversation and starts talking about how tore up it was that Ramona turned Jill away from her vacay-home and blah, blah, blah. Gonzo is trying to be the fair one and make a point by saying that she would be very upset if someone showed up to her vacation with out calling. LuAss and Jill keep dominating the conversation and pushing Gonzo out of the fabulous circle of jerks that they are, because that’s how classy folk like them do it . Finally Sonja has to go Gonzo on their ass and smacks LuAss upside down her head and yells: ‘I’m  tired of her talking over me and not listening!’

‘You guys let me finish okay, you know what? I’m tired of her (pointing to LuAss) talking over me, or when I’m talking to her not listening.’ Then Sonja points at Sasquatch and says ‘You were there!’ then points at LuAnn and says , you where not there bitch! so shut the fuck up! When Kelly  (points at Kelly) finally left, the next day we had some peace and quiet. We sat down at 5 o’clock for our pedicures and in you walked starting all this mad dog shit. When it is clear that no one wanted you there. (Whatch that bitch Jennifer in the background she is all laughing her ass off because Gonzo is bitchsmaking Jill and LuAnn). Kelly knows she made an ass of herself at that vacation and stands there looking dumb and picking a winner out of her nose. LuAnn can not believe she just got shushed by Gonzo,  but just allows it. LuAnn can’t take their bickering anymore and rufies those bitches drinks up and announces her new hit single , ‘Money can buy you crack!’.

Bethenny packs her shit to move in together with Jason, and tells Jason he is allowed to diplay his Big Balls in the Jar. Then they all get arrested before driving away in the moving truck.

 

Ramona and her daughter Avery make a hair appoitment to fix their nappy ass weaves before Ramonas wedding renewal. Avery asks Romaine Lettuce if she is gonna cry and Ramona says she might. Then she asks Avery if she is gonna cry Avery answers ‘why the fuck would I cry?!’ And Ramona loves staircase drama.

While Ramona was getting ready for her wedding renewal she kept losing her speech cards like 20 times. Then Jill shows up to surprise her and Ramona punches Jill in the face . Ramona tells Jill that is is really important to know where other people are coming from and that it is not always about Jill. Then she kisses her. Now their even.

Everyone shows up to the Ramona and Mario contract renewal.  Simon decides to wear a dress this time. Kelly and her lopsided east west teeties show up. Jill informs Kelly that she is lopsided then orders her to‘pick up the left boobie!’. Then Kelly proceeds to say that Ramona’s party sucks ass and why in the hell was she celebrating a wedding renewal with such an odd number like 17 . Surprisingly nobody fought. All the bitches were standing in a circle yapping about how cute LuAnn’s new man is. You know, the one that looks like a goat. Someone here on the comments mentioned that and I looked at him real good he does look like a goat .

Bethenny realizes she is wearing a dress made out of bird feathers. Dind’t she pose for I rather go nakid? Well shit, if that’s the case her crazy ass should of gonne nakid the minute she found out she was wearing some feather shit that they had to pluck out of a live chicken. I am sure that’s what Peta was expecting of her but got dissapointed in her because in the end you can’t go nakid or else you freeze your giant balls off! Oh well I still love that big mouth bitch!

All of the sudden you hear a loud squawk that drowns out all the other people talking. And it’s Jill of course bitching and complaining about how Ramona’s wedding  renewal party sucks major hairy ass, because there is no snacks like cheese and crackers and those tiny weeniers(Because she likes that). Jill starts screaming: ” ALREADY THERES PROWMLEMS THERES NO ORDERVES WHEN YOU MAKE PEOPLE WAIT AN HOUR PAST THE TIME YOU BETTER FEED ME ! AND I’M GETTING VERY HUNGRY!

DAMN! Her 2 stomachs must of being starving!

Jennifer has to put her 2 cents in and starts screaming about not getting people drunk before the ceremony when suddenly, the woman who is the event planner appears because she heard the loud squawks of these drunken bitches and wanted to see if there was a problem and if security needed to be called. Right away Jill asks the event planner who the fuck she is and the event planner tells her she is the bitch in charge there. Ferret face Jennifer laughs her ass off and turns to look at Kelly and yells “THAT BITCH IS THE EVENT PLANNER?!’ THAT FAT BITCH? NO WONDER .’ NOW WOULD YOU PAY THAT PERSON TO BE YOUR EVENT PLANNER?’ Wow how very professional of Jennifer. But then again she wants to be on this  low brow TV show so we can make fun of her.

And now the big moment, but first Ramona fights with Avery and Mario over the dog that’sgonna be in a dress being the maid of honor along with Avery.  Damn! you can tell Avery is an only child, all argumentative with her mother like that. I can relate to that sometimes I just want to smack my child upside down the head too even thought she is now 15 like Avery. Ramona should of pretended like she was gonna smack her and maybe Avery would of flinch and chilled out, but maybe Ramona didn’t spank her enough as a smaller child or else she would of had her trained. That argument went on and on. Oh well, they all look so pretty!

 

But wait now the big moment this time for real . Stupid Jill saying stupid shit real loud abotu how the 2 teams got seated on oposite ends. All of the sudden Mario comes down the stairs then Avery with the dog in her hands finally Crazy Eyes Romaine Lettuce (Yes, that’s her real Christian name) decends in all her nutty glory.

The guy performing the renewal tells the lovely story of how Mario fell in love with Ramona’s ghetto bootey, when she was wearing a skimpy black leotard while working out at some gym and Mario was dressed in drag ‘Since Mario has already being very fond of butt the 2 of them already had a lot in common’.10 minutes later they were doing in in the locker room at the YMCA and now they been happily swinging married  for almost 2 decades.  I swear this Bitch is the East coast twin sister of Vicky Gunvalson. That Bitch is crazy too and did the same shit when she remarried Don and she kisses other men too just like Romaine Lettuce. Anyways it was a very cute ceremony for crazy ass Ramona and Mario. So congrats to those assholes and may they be married for 17 more years.

The rest of the reception goes well. I was really surprised that nobody was yelling at each other. Kelly gives Ramona a lame ass gift and she is channeling her good girl personality that night. Bethenny is all emotional and tells Ramona and Alex that they’re her girls. Even Jill and Bethenny are  kinda talking and shooting the shit, too bad Jill is still an asshole and the relationship is destroyed.

 LuAnn signs her lame ass song and has gone on to other adventures moving into a ground level govertment project condo and releasing her new single ‘Life is Shit’ she will be singing that on street corners with a sign so make sure you put dollar bills in her collection hat and not quarters you cheap bastards!

Ramona decided to skip her honeymoon because she is renewing herself and as part of the renewal she is letting Mario  spend more time with his 22 year old girlfriend and Avery can spend time hanging out with her friends at the park mugging people for fun. Ramona on the other hand went and had fun with another all girls getaway to Vegas to the all male stud farm for 3 weeks.

Sonja Gonzo says that she is seen it all and had it all in every hole. Sorry about that. But anyways Sonja continues to be a ho’ but she is a nice ho’ and that’s what’s important!

Kelly spends her days arguing with her different personalities and all the voices in her head in a hazy, amazing world of lollipops, unicorns, meth lines up her nose, dirty needles up her arm filled with Windex and whatever roids she bought that day if she remembers what day it is. Or not. But the important thing is Kelly can also take the voices in her head and the large white horses that live in her living room outside of her apartment and talk with them , because it is sunny outside and that’s a beautiful thing. EEEEKKKAAAYYY! And she is still an asshole!

Alex is promoting her new parenting book and her new ‘fuck you bitch!’ attitude and if you don’t like it TOO BAD BITCH! Good for that Bitch! She looks like that bitch from Bewitched doesn’t she?

Jill is still a spoiled bitch and tells Bethenny she is not changing but at the same time she gives contradicting messages when interviewing in her one on one camera time saying stupid lies like ‘ we go through life and we learn’ Yeah whateves Jill ! Now that Bethenny has moved on Jill says she misses her and wishes they can be friends again or so she says. But Jill is also still an asshole too! And a vile one!

The only bitch that got something good out of these housewives shows and knew how to use her fame to make money is Bethenny. She got married had a baby and is now moving on to starr in her own adventures in ‘Bethenny getting married?” and Jill is not going to be in it.

They didn’t say anything about ferret face Jennifer because she doesn’t matter.

And that’s how that shit went down Bitches!

I felt so bad for those unfotunante ho’s after they had to deal with the catastrophic disaster level 10 named Kelly . All of them were sitting at the ocean breakfast table during the aftermath of nuclear bomb Kelly and were  all discussing the previous nights events and how Ramona called the Looney Bin Squad to pick up Sasquatch.

 They were all so happy that psycho bitch was finally  gonne. However these poor bitches cannot get a break, when all of the sudden while they were all getting relaxing manicures on the beach terrace, without warning and  like a horn Jill walks in saying ‘Hiiii , Hiiii, RAMONA RAMONA ! HI! SURPRISE!’  WHAT AN ASSHOLE! Jill just shows up all unannounced, being a loud ass bitch and  an obnoxious jerk in the way that only Jill knows how.

 Bitch was expecting everyone to be happy to see her, drop everything their doing and bow down on their knees, to  kiss  Queen Jill’s ass. But instead got a rude awakening when those bitches got some brooms out the closet and chased her out and down the street.Jill of course  had to run to her car with Bobby in tow. Bobby wasn’t very happy because Jill dragged him out to St. Johns at 3am .

On their last night the Bitches had to make the best out of their last night there, and talked about penis sizes with Gonzo who has traveled the big apple quite a few hundred  times and seen her share of penises .Gonzo says that the men with big ears have large dicks but Bethenny says she don’t want Dumbo with a large package!.Ramona and Bethenny were dressed up as toilet paper brides . Too bad their whole vacay was ruined by Kelly and finally by crazy ass Jill showing up blowing her obnoxious horn.

 

When Kelly gets back to New York she  has to report to her supervisors , Jill and LuAss to keep them updated on the St. John’s situation of poor Kelly getting ganged raped  by the other ho’s. Yea whatever Bitch!.So they arrange to meet at a restaurant. LuAss and Jill say that Kelly was texting them crying about the beatings she was receiving from the other ho’s. That one Bitch Jennifer Gilbert was sitting there telling the other bitches that Kelly was texting her also, Jill and LuAnn just ignored her stupid ass . Bitch tries too hard.

Kelly admits to calling  Beth a ‘Ho’ Bag!’ and her story was all tangled up in circles accusing Bethenny of pressuring virginal Kelly of having a one night stand because according to the voices in Kelly’s head Bethenny worships the devil. LuAnn jumps up and says that ‘ho bag!’ is her favortie word in the whole universe, then she looks at Kelly in the eye and asks ’so did you have a nervous breakdown ho’ bag?!” 

Schzychoprenic meth head Kelly pulls a big ole’ lie out of her Bigfoot ass and tells LuAnn and Jill that Bethenny : ’Like said she said it then,.. and I fliipped! she’s like ,I went out of my way and to have a smeared campaign against you!’And we all know this bitch is straight up lying, because Bethenny NEVER said this. Notice how right after Kelly says ‘she said it then,..’ she pauses for a few seconds in order to pull the bullshit lie out of her asshole  and come up with a good story? Or so she thinks, and then continues after her little pause. Damn! That Bitch is stupid! Doesn’t she realize everything is being recorded by cameramen?

 Not only did she lie about what Bethenny said to her but also she makes it so obvious that is a  fucking lie because she tells it the exact same way a child who is 6 years old would tell  a fucking bullshit story. LuAnn, Jill and that other ferret looking Bitch know this ho’s is straight up lying; but just go along with it to hate on Beth. Ferret face is giving Kelly some doubtful looks , ’cause that Bitch knows Kelly is full of shit. 

Kelly is also not liking it when those ho’s were telling her stupid ass that Bethenny is in fact a Chef and has made a name for herself. Kelly looks so full of shit and desperate plus her jealousy is leaking through her pores telling that tall tale and continuing her obsession with Bethenny being a Chef.

But at least Jill told Kelly WHO CARES IF BETHENY IS A CHEF WHO CARES BITCH! Kelly probly sits there obsessing over Bethenny during her meth induced delusions and losing sleep over Bethenny’s job title. Kelly is also so dumb that she doesn’t realize the other bitches are making fun  of  her, when LuAss and Jill laugh at her and tell her she is 12 years old, for hiding her jellybeans up her ass so the other ho’s wouldn’t steal them.That’s what meth and roids do to you it makes you stupid.

That ferret looking bitch tells Kelly she is full of shit and there is ’3 sides to the story there is mine, there is yours and there is the truth.’

 Sonja is screwing some artist guy who  she is paying for his gigolo services. He must be a good fuck if she is throwing a party for his shitty artwork that he makes with throw up. Because she likes her boy toy so much, she also has some fat opera singer sing  and she was rocking out to him pretending to like opera.LuAnn finds out the truth (that she already knew) of the Kelly drug and roids trip gone bad and ending up in the nut house . Simon decides to dress like a mix between Eddie Munster and that singer from ACDC.

 

And the best part of this episode was the part were Jill fell on her fat ass! Bitch had to go squeeze into a skimpy little red outfit and her cancles were sticking out. Then right before her performance she fell flat on her fat ass! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

And remember when Jill was getting told off  by that ice skating coach, who was yelling profanities at her?! That was hilarious. I love it when people slap some reality on those delusional bitches head. Gotta love that loudmouth coach !

 

 

 

The poor man whose baby had the cancer that the fundraiser was for on the last episode of RHONJ; had no idea that Danielle Staub’s (Joker Face) main reason for going to the Brownstone to participated in the fundraiser for the baby ,was not because Joker Face loves babies with cancer and is a charitable person, but instead it was because she is a raving lunatic with a vengeful agenda against the Manzo’s.  SICK BITCH!

He had no idea that this psycho bitch, was just using his daughter’s illness to show up and start shit with these people that she is so insanely jealous of, and got all pissed off that they didn’t have a table for her and that gang of riff rafs, gangbangers and ex-cons she showed up with at the event; even thought she only paid for a table for 10 people and the stupid bitch showed up with more than 20 people. Stupid clown-face whore obviously doesn’t know how to count!

Here is the original article:

Chris Stilianessis has learned a lot about Danielle Staub from watching “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” this season.previewsfor Monday’s (May 31) episode show, Danielle creates havoc at the event held at cast mates Caroline and Dina Manzo’s family business, The Brownstone.Zap2it. “However, I would also tell her that I’m very surprised that you would utilize my daughter’s sickness for your own selfish reasons, to get back at the rest of the housewives.”Emanuela’s Heart for Hope website. Stilionessis is also working on establishing an organization to raise money and awareness for other children battling the same cancer.

Viewers will remember Stilianessis as the father who invited Danielle to a benefit for his baby daughter, who was fighting a rare cancer. As the

“For starters, I would tell Danielle thank you for bringing my daughter’s illness to the table and to the ‘Housewives of New Jersey,’” Stilianessis tells

Stilianessis, who didn’t start watching the show until this season since he knew his daughter’s benefit would be in it, was shocked to see Danielle had beef with the other housewives.

“I had no knowledge of Danielle’s relationship [to the Manzos] prior to the fact,” he says. “Because if I did, I would have asked her politely not to come.”

As we saw in the last episode, Danielle started recruiting muscle soon after she found out the benefit was being held at The Brownstone. Stilianessis tells us that was just the tip of the iceberg.

“She showed up to the event with I want to say in the realm of 25 people,” he says. “She had some guys who were Hells Angels. She came with people who, I come to know now, were people who were in jail. I was under the assumption they were her friends.”

A friend of Danielle’s bought her one table at the benefit for $350.00, which held only 10 people. When she arrived with more than double that number, that’s when things got ugly.

“As we were trying to accommodate her, it just became more of a melee,” Stilianessis explains. “I remember one of the guys [with Danielle] literally, and this came to me from one of my brothers, he slipped a fork up his sleeve. He said, ‘If anything gets out of hand here, I’m gonna gouge them.’”

He goes on to say about Danielle’s supposed back up, “When you’re going to a charity event for a child, what do you need that for?”

In the end, it wasn’t The Brownstone that asked Danielle to leave, according to Stilianessis, but the nonprofit that was throwing the benefit for his daughter. Danielle, though, tried to pin it on the Manzos.

“I didn’t see anyone [from The Brownstone] go up to her to make her feel unwelcome,” Stilianessis says. “As a matter of fact, they were actually going to put another table out to make sure they can try and accommodate her. But, she was leaving before they got the table out and she said, ‘Look, they don’t want me here. They can’t put aside our personal problems for a baby that was sick.’ She brought more drama to the table that did not have to be there.”

According to Stilianessis, Danielle only raised $300.00. That donation came from the owners of a local supermarket, people the Stilianessis family had already known for more than two decades. Depaul High School, where Danielle’s daughter attends, raised approximately $650.00 in a coin drive. Since her table was paid for by someone else, Danielle has yet to donate any money herself.

So, why speak out now? Stilianessis says he doesn’t want his daughter to look back and wonder why he didn’t say something about Danielle’s behavior at the benefit.

“For exposing my daughter’s illness and bringing awareness, I’m very appreciative,” he says. “I’m thankful that Danielle did do that. But if she had an underlying issue for doing it, that needs to be brought to the table. It isn’t right.”

Stilianessis hopes that Danielle will see that what she did was wrong.

“If she really has changed as she says she has,” he says. “There will be a public statement. That day in the restaurant, she had tears in her eyes. If those were true tears, her heart would open with an apology.”

Thankfully, Stilianessis’ daughter Emanuela’s cancer is currently in remission. If you’d like to get more information on her fight against the rare disease, heptablastoma, you can visit the

 

 

 The good thing is the baby’s cancer is going away. Click here for the website to the baby’s foundation!

Since both these Bitche’s mother’s conceived them on top of the same pentagram, were they got gang banged by different demons and goats on the night that they were participating in that one orgy hosted by satan , making them both sisters from different mothers. Joker Face found a kindred spirit in Kelly Sasquatch ; and send her a messague that she can come talk to her any time because she feels for poor Kelly getting bullied by the other ho’s. (Rolling eyes!)

Also insanity Kelly dropped a couple of hits of acid and snorted some meth with extra embalming fluid, then she released an anti-bullying PSA, were of course she rambles on repeating all the bullshit that the voices in her head tell her to say. Kelly still believes  in her little demented head ,that she was being bullied by the other ho’s .  Just like she believes she had a ‘breakthrough’ and not a ‘breakdown’. Just keep telling yourself that Sasquatch! And the funny part is, this delusional twat thinks that everyone else believes her. Maybe when the guys with the yellow jackets come and pick her ass up for her next visit to the insane asylum, she should take Joker Face with her so that they can both have a much needed vacation.