The last string of post are all late recaps that I dind’t get to post because of the limited time I have. Starting with episode 5 on to 7. More late recaps coming up. Enjoy.

LuAnn decides to invite Sonja to lunch, to discuss a girl’s getaway in the hopes to have another Scary Island fuckdown. Gonzo shows up to the lunch date at some fancy schmancy restaurant looking tacky as usual and the waiter almost kicks that bitch out.  He thought she was a homeless bag-weirdo that wondered in from the street because of the roadkill mangy getup that bitch was wearing. 

Gonzo says she wants to go to Italy for the Truffle festival because ‘everyone’ that can afford it, is going to be there. But, Bravo is on a budget and tired to forking out the bill for these bitches expensive trips, plus LuAnn must be pitching in and the bitch must  have some free flier miles to the economy  version of Paris which, is Morocco.  So LuAnn tells that bitch that beggars can’t be choosers and that all they can afford is Morocco, after all this is a free trip to the ghetto Paris of Europe so her ass better shut up and enjoy it.

LuAnn also makes sure to invite all the other house skanks on this trip, with the hopes that there will be a bitch smack-down Scary Island style and hopefully Kelly will be there too. (Even thought LuAnn says she don’t want Kelly there you know that’s bullshit because they all want to clown on that bitch).

Since LuAnn is the official concierge for Morocco and the self appointed bitch platoon leader she decides to wrangle in all the other bitches and so they are all off to Morocco to cause some shit. Great, now the United States is going to be at war with Morocco. LuAnn warns Ramona to not screw up this trip for everyone and that if she plans to flip out during the trip her ass can stay at home on time-out.

LuAss wants Ramonzon and Jillious to kiss and make up before going on this trip. Then LuAnn shoves a $1.50 key-chain clip on Koala in Ramona’s mouth that Jill gave Ramona to show her that she luuuuuvvees her to death. Literally!

LuAnn then tells Ramona that she looks unhappy and like she sleeps with the devil at night. I wonder if Mario knows he is the devil? After that, LuAnn warns Ramona that her friendship with Jill could end up in the toilet, like  the Jill/Bethenny friendship. Unless Ramona calls Jill up to kiss her ass and make up.

Gonzo decides to do a cooking book, (not another one of those!) about cooking in a $5 dollar busted toaster oven that was picked at the Salvation Army. However, this ‘cook-book’ will not be having any recipes whatsoever, it will only have pictures of Gonzo’s scary ass, corpse-cooch because the bitch decided to do a complete smut-photo-shoot centerfold of her rotted va-jay-jay that will take up the entire book.

Gonzo invited Kelly over to freak her out while doing the vajay-jay photo-shoot.  Gonzo flashes Kelly several times and Kelly is disgusted and appalled so she runs out of Gonzo’s house screaming in traumatized horror. While wearing her pant-less, underwear-less outfit.

Later on LuAnn Kelly and Jill show up to hangout with Cindy for some much needed ass-waxing sessions. 

Kelly starts complaining and crying to the other bitches  about how traumatized she is about seeing Gonzo’s infested corpse-crotch.  They all start talking shit about Gonzo flashing that thing and how horrible it must of been for poor Kelly. Who is more nuts now as the result of this.

 Kelly says she has never seen a woman’s cooch in her life. LuAss wonders how that bitch never seen a cooch but then she realizes that since Kelly doesn’t have one, it makes perfect sense that she’s never seen one.

 LuAnn also says that the reason for Sonja’s cooch-flashing shenanigans is because she learned that shit from hanging around Ramonzon and drinking her Pinot-Moonshiner Backwoods Hooch. I call bullshit on that. Gonzo was already a member of the Old-Hags Gone Wild Club and she’s been flashing her muff way before I was even born.

Kelly then out of the blue-balls-whim starts crying about being in abusive relationships were she is the one doing the ass-kicking and getting hauled away to the male-jail for punching sissy men in the face. Kelly says the worst part was that in men-prison she only met “sharks, minnows, and bottom feeders”. LuAnn holds Kelly and cries with her.

This is were the blondes and brunettes divide started, on the other side of town all the blondes have gathered together for some plastic surgery gone wrong therapy.

Alex says that since she became a model she has to take better care of her skin and so she quit smoking crack. After that, they all get botox injections from a  dirty needle they are all sharing and passing around, that came from the OC bitches biohazard trash.

Gonzo has the fat sucked out of her stomach to avoid sit-ups.

 The discussions turns to the Morocco trip and drug smuggling vaginas.

Kelly says she doesn’t want to go to Morocco because of her fuckdown she had  last time, and she is tired of having to sneak her meth in her Vagina Monocles on the plane when she goes to other countries because the show may turn into ‘Arrested Abroad’. Finally Kelly Looney Tunes admits the real reason for her fear of going on this trip is mainly because of ranging drunken Ramonzon who is only half Kelly Behemoths size but can take her down because when it comes to size, Ramonzon is like a wolverine she is an 80 pound animal that can take on a 200 pound Gorilla. Kelly is the Gorilla.

The other bitches really want Kelly to come (for entertainment, so she can go ball-shits crazy like last time), and Kelly decides to think about it.

Jill is having an anti-bullying fundraiser of some form, for children that are still too young for her to bully. So she will have to wait until their 18. Then she can bully them. Alex shows up to stuff gift bags to this event and Jill warns Alex to keep her pit-bull Ramonzon on a short leash while at the fundraiser.

 

 

Ramonzon arrives armed with a case of Pinot Bathtub Moonshine, that is supposed to be donated to the event but the bitch ends up guzzling almost the whole thing by herself before she even arrives.  Ramonzon keeps getting hammered and verbally abusing everyone around her, this includes Jill and the waiters who are now traumatized. Then she goes on a bitch slapping rampage.

LuAnn shows up to save the day and is excited to show up at a fundraiser for bullying so that she can start bullying all the other bitches present. But, specially Ramona whom she walks up to and smacks her in the back of her fat head, for  kidnapping and keeping  designer David Meister in her basement while hogging him from the other bitches and forcing him to spin gold in a wheel while making her old-whore outfits from Satan’s hair.

After a little more slapping around LuAnn tells Ramona no one wants to go with Ramona on this trip to Moroco-co because of her crazy drunken ass and the fact that she scares people. Alex stands by Ramona like her trained bitch ready to jump LuAnn.  Ramonzon finally erupts at LuAnn yelling “I have to answer to you now?”.  It seems that ever since LuAss lost her Countess bought title she has to compensate by bossing and bullying bitches around 110 times more than she did before.

LuAnn insist that Jill confronts Ramona and puts the smack down on that bitch in front of all the guest that payed $200 for a table at this bitch-bullying event. Jill refuses to confront Ramona because she is scared of her and LuAnn stands there taunting Jill about how her big fat ass is scared of Ramona who is burly five feet tall.  I’m sure LuAnn has a chapter in her book that talks about confronting bitches while at charity events and also taunting them into a fight just for shits and giggles because that’s  ‘assy-classy’ just like LuAss.

Kelly Bensimoron arrives pantless, late  and full of meth like always. Then she loudly announces to everybody and their momma that Bravo will fire her punk ass if she doesn’t go to Moroco-co and make a fool of herself.

Ramonzon gets more slurry incoherent and drunk as always and LuAss berates her for having a drinking problem since now the bitch has to haul around a case of vino to stay drunk all day. I have to agree with Countless LuAss, that bitch does have a drinking problem but that’s why she all sorts of scary fun.

Kelly stands there pant-less and telling Ramonzon to wear a longer skirt because she can see her butt-cheeks. Ramona is too drunk to care and when lunch is served and Jill’s stepdaughter Jennifer  gives a speech (Jennifer was bullied as a child and has a condition with her face, I’m not being a clown to this girl) stupid ass Ramona sits there calling the girls face ’deformed’ and yelling at the designer some nonsensical bullshit about her Pinot-Hooch.  And for the first time I sided with Jill because she looked truly hurt by Ramonzon’s insensitive comment at her stepdaughter. That was harsh. Even Alex is pissed off  and embarrassed at that bitches stupidity and lack of sensitivity. Unbelievable!

Ramona decides she hasn’t made enough crazy eyes this season, so she arranges to have a photo-shoot to promote her Crazy Eyes And Wino Vino Skincare line. Ramona’s current assistant is desperately kissing her ass telling her she looks like a young ‘Pamela Anderson’ before all the hepatitis and venereal diseases. The poor assistant is hoping she doesn’t end up at the unemployment line. Like all the other assistants who got the axe from Ramoner while she was on a firing rampage. Usually happens after Ramona had about two cases of wine.

Jill shows up at Cindy’s apartment, where that bitch lives with a gang of people who wipe her arse and nannie her children. She even has two drunken Puerto Rican Leprechauns who punch each other to entertain her kids.

Jill kisses Cindy’s ass and  gets her to agree to punch Ramoners in the back of the head while she downs a glass of wino juice, next time she sees her.  Cindy complains that she lost her dentures in the toilet because she stayed up all night and her horse teeth flew out of her mouth when she jumped up after she got woken up by her children who were up crying all night, thanks to her incompetent nannies who couldn’t shut her loud children up. Cindy is pissed because she told the nannie to use Tequila in the babie’s gums. Not Nyquil.

Chris March of Project Runway, shows up to help Sonja with her costume for her annual block Masquerade Sex Orgy Party. His fat ass complains about having to climb seventeen flights of stairs and he is pissed off  that  Gonzo’s elevator is broken and is being used to store cleaning supplies.

When Gonzo shows him the Martha Washington nappy ass wig that looks like it belonged to the real Martha Washington (because that shit had moths flying out of it), his ass just about has a heart attack and screams in horror at that funky ass smelly wig.

Chris admits that he is scared of that wig specially when Gonzo tells him she used to wear that shit for her special ‘customers’ back at the brothel. As a matter of fact one of her ‘Johns’  bought her the famous wig.

Gonzo also wants Chris to perform his magic and super hoochie-out a Victorian period outfit that she plans to wear with no chones underneath to show off her nasty ass bruise she got when she fell off the horse. Nasty bitch!

And her plan comes along just fine, while at the party Gonzo makes sure she walks around slurring drunken pickup lines at random men and then bends her huge, fat, cottage-cheese, jelly ass over, on top of people’s cheese and crackers, (because that’s what they were serving at her cheap ass party, government cheese and crackers because Sonja is ‘very frugal’).

Gonzo’s plan to get a bootie call hook up for the night backfires because most of the men that see her cottage- cheese ass, end up throwing up or just running out screaming: ‘THERE’S NOT ENOUGH ALCOHOL FOR ME TO FUCK THAT BITCH!’. I guess those men are not fans of the busted-ass, used and abused, tore-up, ganged-banged, 50-year old, raging drunk, whore look. Oh well, maybe next time she shouldn’t have her caterers water down the box wine so much, at least if one of those guys were drunk enough she would of gotten a piece of ass from one of them that night.

Cindy is home dealing with her weird ass family dynamics, and having a hard time getting her sperm donor number one, getting along with sperm donor number two because the two sperm donors used to date and Cindy and her sperm donor number two also used to date. So sperm donor number one (Howie who is also Cindy’s brother) decides to leave because he can’t stand sperm donor number two (Kevin the ex). Damn I’m confused now!

Kevin decides that babies can fly or be bounced around like basketballs and Cindy bites him in the ass with her horse choppers until Kevin leaves crying like a little bitch. But then again standing next to Donkey Teeth he feels like a little bitch.

Speaking of Donkey Teeth Cindy goes to the dentist and drags Jill with her so that Jill can dictate to the dentist how to do his job and fix Donkey’s teeth.

The dentist is horrified and disgusted with Donkey Teeth’s Satan’s breath. He is also talking to Jill and clowning about how ‘Horsey’ this bitches teeth look, and he is trying very hard to make them even ‘horsier’. Jill tries to direct the dentist on how to make this bitches teeth appear horsier, but the dentist gets tired of her fat, ignorant-mouth, and kicks her out of the room.

Ramoner gets cornered by a hopeful future House Skank name Jennifer. This is the woman that was getting married when Alex, Ramona and Jill were at that reception where Jill tried to get Alex tarred, feathered and kicked out of the reception for wearing white. But it didn’t work.

Now the bride Jennifer is here telling Ramoner all the asshole shenanigans that Jill tried to pull at her wedding reception including Jill’s pestering questions about how come she invited low life wrong side of the Brooklyn tracts Silex and why is she friends with raging alcoholic Ramona. Ramona is appalled at Jill’s antics and calls Jill an ‘abusive’ bitch.

Countless LuAnn de FuFu is now a wino experto, so she questions Ramoner over what type of tubs is she using to make her Pinot De Wino Moonshiner. Ramona gets pissed off at LuAss for asking her questions she don’t know the answer to, and pisses in LuAnn’s glass of vino and LuAnn being such an expert can’t tell the difference.

While eating pizza and screaming. Ramoner confronts Jilliousy about running her diarrhea mouth to Jennifer and of course a big ol’e bitch smack- down occurs. Like a perfect trailer-park, domestic violence couple, they take the screaming-circus-fest outside, leaving Jill crying like a little bitch.

Ramonzon goes back inside the party and by this time the Pinot Wino Vino is at it’s peak of drunk and as a result of that, Ramona’s crazy eyes are bulging out of her skull making her twitch and she is ready for a fists fight. In the wake of her drunken crazy she even smacks Jennifer for being in the line of fire.

Jill  confronts Jennifer and doesn’t let her get in a word edgewise and warns her that next time, she feels like babbling her loose-lip, she is going to shove a stiletto up her culo and she better come to Queen-Bee Jill next time there is a problem. Then she calls her a stupid bitch.You know, they need to just stick these ho’s in a metal cage and let them go at it.

 

On this mess, Silex get their kid a piano that came with a weird penis I mean pianist-dude and it freaked out little Frankie.  When Frankie tried to play the piano Alex tells him he can’t touch it  because it is for decoration and not to touch with his dirty little grubby Cheeto-hands and Frankie is disappointed because he really wanted a drum-set so that he can join a real loud band. BUT NOOOOO!!!

Sonja plays referee to Kelly and Ramona’s confrontation. And the two bitches dress like S&M porn-whores, but what else is old. Ramoners apologizes to Kelly for drunk text dialing her at midnight and Kelly accepts, but first she bitches Ramona out for clowning on her for being a nut case and a meth-whore, who lost her marbles at Scary Island. 

More confrontations happen when Sonja calls Cindy to come over her house alone, this way Sonja can bitch-slap her for telling Kelly about Sonja’s plans to punk Kelly at her ‘Toaster Oven Cooking Party’.  Cindy decides she doesn’t want to deal with this bitche’s bullshit right now, and so she pulls one of Gonzo’s male house-bitches and dances with him.

Gonzo is not very amused since she is the only one allowed to dance with her man-servant. Gonzo gets pissed that Donkey Teeth is ignoring her and so she rips her away from the male house-bitch and berates her for mingling with the help and remains her that only Gonzo is allowed to fuck the help.

 Then, she bitch slaps Cindy right on the Horse Teeth and bitches her out  for not having Pinot Grigio ready for Ramonzon at Cindy’s own birthday party she yells, “Ramona Singer’s a star, and you have to understand that,”. 

Gonzo also monkey punches Horsie for forcing all the other bitches  to go to the gettho of Quogue. She berates Cindy, “None of us wanted to go to Quogue”. Then Gonzo explains the order of the pecker- pecking order to Cindy, who sits there with her mouth wide open and confused. Of course this bitch can’t close her mouth with those horse teeh it is permanently open.

Since Countless LuAnn is a certified wine expert (she learned that expertise in the bedroom from new boy-toy Peppi Lapoop while she was on all fours, tying his shoe -laces) she shows up to Ramoner’s Vino and Hoochie Wear Party, just to point out and school Ramoners on how ignorant she is about Pinot Grigio Moonshine Wine, and how they make it in bathtubs during the full moon on top of a Pentagram and not in barrells in the backwoods  of New Jersey by Barney Devito like she told everybody else. Then the Countless, tells her she probably doesn’t even know why is called Pinot. Of course Ramoners is clueless but so is the Countless who’s only pretending she knows all the ins and outs of wine making and knows that Ramoners doesn’t know anything about wine so she is just fucking with her for fun.

Cindy meets Kelly in Central Park to go score some Park Meth from a crack-head. And while they are scouting for street drugs they run into Jill who is also there to buy her fix. Cindy informs Kelly what a fucked up bitch Gonzo is, and she can shove her pecking order in the deepest part of her fat culo.  Jill hopes she is top Queen Bee on that Pecker Order.

Sonja Gonzo-Nose can’t keep her crusty Chones on this season, and she seems to have a raging desperation to show her fat ass to everyone and their grandpapi. So she decides to dress up like a fallen Rainbow Brite Prostitute child and arranges a raunchy photo shoot for a calendar, were some sort of an all male baseball/firefighter team is present while she runs around with a short mini skirt and no chones! This is the second time this bitch does this shit! (Next episode she pulls the same underwear less- shit and since this recap was late I can mention it without spoiling!) And again she manages to gross out a room full of men, who are now hurling in their baseball caps.

Dumb delusional bitch thinks they’re drooling over her, but in reality they’re puking and at the same time managing to  laugh at her  and asking among themselves ‘who is the vintage tore-up, crack-whore and how did she get past security?’ After that they all turned gay. NICE GOING SONJA!

Later on Kelly and LuAss show up to visit Gonzo for her Toaster Oven Cooking Party. The bitch is all bragging that she’s cooked for royalty on her busted up toaster oven from the 70′s that she picked up at the thrift store a few years back. It is also held together by duct tape. Gonzo manages to fix a delicious fish meal for LuAnn and Kelly and they complain that the portion is tiny so they decide they’re hitting Taco Bell later. After they ditch Gonzo.

Jilliousy decides to iron things out with Alex and bravely heads out to the Brooklyn ghetto section-8 projects, where Alex lives amongst the New York gangs and drug dealers. Jill clowns on Alex and says,  she can tell Alex doesn’t work out because she has noodle arms and an old mans’ beer belly plus a serious case of Hillbilly Teeth.  Nothing like a real insult before a fake apology! And Jill is the expert on that shit.

Like I said before in another recrap these bitches are always ‘clearing the air’  they should just call it what it really is ‘throwing more turd-logs in that fucked up fire’.

 Ramoner gets super coked out because she is also having her ‘throwing more turd-logs in that fucked up fire’ meeting with Donkey Teeth and tells that bitch that she doens’t know what the fuck she is talking about because she hasn’t been happily married for 18 years, to a faithful man that worships her. Cindy bustes up laughing at Ramonzon for being an ignorant moron whose husband is pulling an Arnold with the maid and Ramoners eyes are about to bulge out of her skull because not only is she flamingly pissed at Donkey Teeth for being stupid but also the coke she snorted earlier was laced with some questionable PCP making Ramonzon’s eyes ten times more violent. After Ramonzon is done kicking Horsie in the teeth she walks away laughin like a evil-super villain.

Cindy invited Sonja to shopping and lunch in some dangerous neighborhood in downtown TriBeCa. While those bitches are at some downtown boutique Cindy reveals that her  cheap ass horse dentures fell off the night before, when she was stumbling around the alleys of New York drunk off her ass and woke up behind the bar with some random dude on the filthy cement ground, face down, with a chipped horse denture. The exact details of the previous night are a blur to Cindy so no one knows exactly what happened.

Cindy is carrying around her broken horse dentures in a sandwich baggie and  she also admits she carries Fixodent in her purse because that’s what people over 56 with dentures do. Then, she sits there and starts to cement her teeth together, in front of a mirror, at this boutique where they are shopping. The stinky denture breath scares customers away so the owner comes over to see if everything is okay and forces Sonja to purchase a hoochie getup or get out.

Gonzo ignores the sales lady then goes after Cindy, whining to her plus expecting and demanding lunch. Gonzo is starving and the bitch is seeing flying sandwiches and shit,  fantasizing about the chi-chi restaurant Donkey Teeth is taking her to.

Suddenly Cindy starts to beat around the bush about taking Gonzo to lunch because she is literally holding an emergency in a Ziploc bag in her hand.

When Gonzo starts to ask ‘when are you taking me to lunch?’ And repeats that shit 58 times in a row. Donkey Teeth throws a sparkly, truck stop, motel hooker, dress across the room to distract Gonzo and tries to bolt out the door, but Gonzo is determined to get that free lunch. So, she catches poor Donkey Teeth ass Cindy before she can bail out and continues harassing Cindy about buying her lunch.

Bitch My Teeth Fell Off!!!!

Even though Cindy  invited Sonja to lunch her ass isn’t about to walk around that restaurant with her front teeth missing. So finally she says FUCK IT! And yells at Gonzo: BITCH MY TEETH FELL OFF!!  But, Gonzo won’t give up. That bitch is starving, she’s tired of giving hobos blow jobs to buy top Ramen. So she keeps pestering Cindy for a free lunch.

Cindy barks back at Sonja: Lunch?!! What do you mean lunch? Bitch are you that broke that you need me to buy you lunch.  How ’bout this bitch, you go down to the corner and buy a 5 dollar hot dog?!

Gonzo was all: No I’m broke I don’t even have 5 bucks. Can you at least give me 5 bucks for a hot dog? And another 5 bucks for a diet Pepsi? Plus I’m gonna need 20 bucks to score some NY alley meth.

And Cindy responded: WTF? Are you stupid? What the hell did you think this is a date? It’s not like you put out bitch!

HA HA HA!!! It was funny shit. Specially watching Sonja beg Cindy to take her to lunch.

After that bullshit Sonja said she wants to have a ‘toaster oven, cooking party’ because the NY ho’s haven’t had one yet (I don’t think), and her intention is to lock Kelly and a drunken Ramoner in a room with a heavy door that has a window, so everyone can watch those two bitches rip each other’s hair off. Cindy says to Sonja that she doesn’t think that’s a good idea. Gonzo says that those bitches are either going to do it HER way, or get thrown out of her house. I guess that’s a favorite move of Gonzo.

Then, Cindy takes her Fixodent and her dentures and takes off to the dentist to get her shit fixed and Gonzo is left in downtown TriBeCa where she has to walk home late into the night, through the armpit of the ghetto neighborhood,  just to get home.

Cindy bounces out of there and doesn’t give a shit that she left Gonzo in the middle of that scary hood because Cindy is downtown and ghetto like that. Plus she thought it was funny to leave Gonzo alone in the ghetto there, with no ride. (Because she really took the bus there, she didn’t have a driver that was bullshit) How awkward and sad.

Later on LuAnn has a little get together. Sonja, Cindy and LuAnn are getting hammered already and Cindy blabs out that she is having an un-birthday party in ‘Quogue’. Sonja says that she doesn’t go to Quogue because that’s the ghetto and LuAnn gives a little background on ‘Quoque’ being one of the Hampton’s low rent neighborhoods that people of their caliber wouldn’t be caught dead in.

LuAnn starts busting up laughing and clowning on Cindy’s invitation saying ‘I don’t do Quogue!’ Poor Donkey Teeth Cindy. Bitch just sits there not knowing what to do, looking like a dumb ass, all shocked, confused and horrified while LuAnn and Gonzo take center stage with their back and forth loud bantering at Donkey Teeth and her ghetto ass sad party invitation.

Cindy cannot get a word in edgewise while loud ass drunken and possibly coked out Gonzo keeps on shooting the insults at her and enjoying herself. She even tells Cindy to shove the junk mailers from her hair removing spa up her ass, and all kinds of other crazy shit like that. I guess she still pissed because Cindy didn’t take her to Cipriani’s for lunch.

And because the Countless and Gonzo are good at twisting things around to blame the dumb ass they are snubbing at the time, they both make a lame attempt at lying and accuse Cindy of not sending an invitation to her party. Cindy then has the ‘ARE THEY TAKING CRAZY PILLS?’ stunned look in the face, and insist she send the invitation to both those skanks.

When those two bitches realize Cindy did send the invitation and she caught them lying; they just lie more and  each one tries to come up with their lame excuses and either blame their incompetent assistants or the Internet for failing to get the invitation. Donkey Teeth just sits there staring at them with her ‘I’m shocked and horrified’ facial expression.

Then just to be a bitch and make sure Cindy knows she is being snubbed Sonja starts randomly  babbling out some yelling spewage about getting invited to shitty parties: “Wrong place, wrong time, wrong food, wrong drinks,”. And Donkey Teeth looks like she is going to start pulling her hair out and cry.

Then all of a sudden the door blows open and Ramoner is standing there in her full hurricanal glory, she stomps in screaming “I need a Pinot Grigio immediately. White wine!, right away.”  This season they are not only highlighting Silex’s alcoholism, but also Ramoner’s.

Alex comes in trailing behind Ramona like her trained monkey wearing a caveman vest. Cindy sits there with her horrified worried facial expressions some more, this time she looks like she really shit her Depends.

Ramoners gets nice and drunk and proceeds to question the Countless on her parenting skills. “So I heard yer children arre rruunning arrround wild in the streets of the Hamptons at night. While yerr in New Yawk screwing Poopie La P.U.” The Countless admits she is out in NY only a couple of nights a week (which can turn into 5 nights a week), and she leaves her children with random homeless people to watch them in the Hamptons.

Ramona slurs more drunken insults: ‘Yerr a slut and a weekend mom!. LuAnn tries to defend herself with the lame comeback that she’s in the city working on making music. When we all know the only music the bitch is making is with Poopie La P.U.

While all this fuckery is going on, Cindy tells Kelly Sonja’s plans to force Kelly and Ramona to kiss and make up via death cage lock-down.

Bigfoot ass Kelly continues to try to convince everyone that she is afraid of Ramoner, specially when that bitch is nice and drunk. Yet, everywhere she goes to hang out and party with the other bitches, is where Ramona is hanging out and partying. So once again, Kelly doesn’t make sense.

So of course the next day Bigfoot invites all the bitches Ramona included, for  a charity dog walk. Once again these ho’s make the event all about their own drama. So, Ramona cries to LuAnn about her cigar dilemma with Cindy’s brother and goes all balls out crying about that drama.

Sonja and Kelly walk their dogs, and Sonja tries to persuade Kelly to attend her toaster cooking party to try to force her to make amends with Ramona. While Kelly and Sonja are having this conversation about why Bigfoot doesn’t want anything to do with drunken ass, Pinot Grigio wino, Ramoners Kelly suddenly drops to the ground and starts doing sand angels. Gonzo says that this crazy ass bitch needs meds.

Kelly invites Sonja to go horseback riding. And Gonzo proceeds to ride the horse all crazy. She jumps on the horse and starts yelling ‘YAH, YAH!!’  She digs her spurs on the horse then, she wips it.  The horse starts going nuts and this starts to freak Kelly out who starts yelling to Sonja to be careful or she will fall off the horse.

The horse is all over the place with Sonja on its back barely hanging on, while the horse is riding away, after teasing Gonzo for a while the horse decides it’s time to toss that annoying bitch off its back. Horses are smart animals, they can sense when someone is a jerk, and know when it’s time to throw a bitch off its back. It was Kelly’s turn in her first season joining the cast and it’s Sonja’s turn this time.

Gonzo lands right on her ass and breaks it. But the dumb bitch gets up like nothing happened while holding her ass crack together so she doesn’t shit her pants. She’s pretty tough, walking around with a broken ass. But I guess decades of walking around that golden apple will do that to you. This was the best part of the whole episode and I love it because every time Sonja does something fucked up she keeps looking like a fool. Last time with the fugly ass painting where she looked like a propped up corpse who’s fanning her queefes out, and this time she got thrown off a horse. So Karma is doing her job.

After Gonzo gets up, and starts dragging her broken butt away, she is blaming Kelly for falling off the horse and says it’s all Kelly’s fault.

When all the bitches go to Quoge expect Sonja. Ramoners shows ups demanding Pinot Grigio. Again. LuAnn says that Ramoners has a bad case of the Pinot Grigio Polar Syndrome. I think Ramoners is just a drunk.

How come, this whole episode reminded me of that one show Intervention? Ramonzon gets all worried too, she looks like a fucking junkie that’s going to start climbing the walls after she asks Cindy if she has her Pinot Grigio. Cindy tells her that they will have it and Ramona starts twitching. Watch that part again she starts to twitch and looks like she’s going to start climbing the walls. Cindy assures her that she will get her Pinot Grigio fix and Ramoner gets all worried. It was crazy. But after they get some wine in her belly, Ramona just goes ass shit.

After Ramona throws that junkie buggie dance, over the wine, she chases after Kelly who is supposedly scared of her and is trying to ditch her. Kelly then distracts Ramona by sending her off to play as if the bitch was 8 years old. Ramona is insulted and not digging that shit.

Running with the horsewife theme of this episode Cindy’s un-birthday party also has horses. I guess Bravo was hopping for two people to fall.

When Ramona sees the horses she jumps on one and starts trying to do the  same shit Sonja was doing earlier that got her thrown off the horse. But luckily this time we have a responsible horse babysitter or whatever you call that lady that was there making sure the horse didn’t go bat-shit crazy with a drunken bitch on top of it and who told Ramona ‘HELL NO!’. When that bitch wanted to start wiping the horse and take it for a joy ride around the whole farm while chogologing Pinot Grigio from the bottle.

After Ramona is denied her right to run amuck, on top of a mustang in a farm terrifying party goers, she gets frustrated and decides it’s time to go fuck with Cindy’s brother Howie, about the whole cigar fiasco. She wobbles all drunk over where he is at, and proceeds to question him about the cigar he was smoking that belonged to Ramona’s dead friend whom Howie’s wife used to be married to. Howie freaks out and he walks away avoiding the drunken crazy lady. But Ramona continues to follow him and bitch him out about why he was smoking that cigar and blah, blah, blah.

During this whole time Howie’s big ass bodyguard wife gets in between him and Ramona.  Isn’t that the same bitch that was at the wedding? When I first saw this episode I thought that big bitch was Cindy. FOR REAL! I thought that, they do look like twins and those bitches were wearing the same L7 flannel shirt, which made it harder to tell them apart.

Finally the real Cindy steps in and berates Ramona and tells her to cut the shit out she yells at Ramona: ‘ ABSOLUTELY NOT!’, Cindy puts Ramona in her place and tells her she needs to stop being a crazy ass bitch.

Ramona gets all emotional and crazy drunk and tells Cindy she’s shaking because she has to deal with this cigar debacle. Cindy says she don’t give a rat’s ass this bitch is shaking she’s freaking out her 80 year old parents.

Suddenly just as Ramona’s crazy was flaring up it went down when a crisis involving dip happened. Then everyone is happy again. Nothing like dip to solve the worlds problems.

 

 Sequine Rainbow Dust Coming Out Of The Closet With Naggy Corpse Bride

All the bitches (except for Ramona, Jill and that new bitch Mr. Ed) gather at Sonja’s house to get ready for the marriage equality march that Alex and Simon strongly support and are both part of the committee. The bitches borrowed some wedding gowns from a designer so that they can walk to the march dressed as brides and looking crazy. Gonzo’s fat ass can’t zip up the dresses and tries to blame it on her rib cage, but in reality it’s her fat ass so instead she has to wrap a white wedding day garbage bag around her fat ass. Alex chooses the fugliest plain dress that doesn’t flatter her Olive Oil figure. Gonzo starts yapping about how she named herself Grand Marshal of the equality march and how this is her day and this day it’s all about her. Alex goes into spokesperson mode about how this is for the cause, but you can tell the bitch is losing her shit because she makes those crazy bitch faces and grinds her teeth.  They all leave Gonzo’s house dressed in wedding gowns looking like they’re crazy.

 

This must be the ‘Let’s fuck with Alex’ season because the minute they all get to the march Alex and Simon learn that Gonzo pulled an asshole spoiled bitch move and hijacked Simon’s speech therefore her true colors came out of the closet just like Simone’s sequin rainbow Liza Minelly show girl jacket came out.

 Poor Alex, but specially poor Simone. You can tell Simon has been waiting patiently for this moment like a little girl waits for her Christmas presents and the worst part is, when they find out that asshole Sonja demanded that Simon and anybody else from the skank clan be cut from the podium because somebody named Sonja a ‘gay icon’ and since Sonja looks like she used to be a dude  specially with those size 17 shoes and she’s drunk and looking for random dick all the time, she felt that the name fits her. Miss ‘gay icon’ lets that name go to her fat head and she decides she is going to jump head first into the ‘Let’s fuck with Silex’ wagon and act completely obnoxious and narcissistic by repeating every five minutes like a broken record ‘It’s all about me, it’s all about me, me, me, me’.

 Meanwhile Alex and Simone are trying to make their point across to Gonzo, about how important it is  for Simone to give his speech because he’s been waiting for 3 seasons of the house skanks, to take the rest of the rainbow Elton John sequin jacket out of the pink closet and not just a teaser sleeve. Gonzo ignores Silex who have now become like a 2 headed bark machine and puts her fingers in her ears as she jumps around chanting at the top of her lungs, IT’S ALL ABOUT ME! IT’S ALL ABOUT ME! IT’S ALL ABOUT ME!

 Gonzo doesn’t even know what the cause is for exactly or why, all she knows it’s that its about ‘our gays’. Plus there’s cameras and  she also wants to fuck with Silex because she is part of the ‘mean bitch that married her grandpa for money club’. So she  makes sure that Simon is removed from giving a speech.

Of course Simone and Alex look pathetic when they’re yelling and begging to that fuglyhag to allow Simon the podium and she of course knows damn well she can just say ‘ok’ and it’s not gonna hurt anything. But, Gonzo enjoys watching those 2 beg she loves being on the power trip that she can fuck up someones shit like this, specially when that person is more qualified to give that speech and has a personal interest invested in this cause that Sonja doesn’t really give a shit about.

Watch the sick bitch she very clearly perversely enjoys watching Silex beg, while she brags how it’s all about her and ignores them like they’re 2 cockroaches below her feet. That’s okay thought because later on Karma smacks this bitch in the leather face, and we learn what her paid boyfriend really thinks of her.

Jill arrives at the last minute but not because she supports this cause since, she didn’t even march or anything she is  just there  because there are cameras there, and she is hoping to catch some drama. Or start some.

When Jillousy arrives stupid Alex makes the mistake she always makes with these ho’s by trying to reason with them and proceeds to talk to Jill about how Simon was cut from giving a speech. “Well Sonja’s got a speech. They asked you too to speak right? They asked Simon to speak.” Since Jillousy hates Alex and anything Alex says to Jill is an excuse to freak out on her, she decides to get in touch with her inner brat and throw a fit designed for an 8 year old,“I don’t know. You have a misunderstanding… Everyone knew when they asked me that I had a wedding this weekend. I don’t know why you keep making such a big issue out of it. Leave me alone. Just leave me alone! Stop picking on me. Stop picking on me! You’ve been picking on me since you saw me. Just leave me alone!”.

 Alex stands there looking at this yelling bitch with a WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS BITCH look.  After Jillousy gets done abusing Alex, she moves on to mentally mind fucking  her, and forces Alex to high five her and forces Alex to promise to have fun and support  Miss Gay Icon, the self appointed Grand Marshal Gonzo, who just cut Alex’s gay husband out of his speech for no reason, but simply to shit on something that’s important to the Silex unit.

 Surprisingly during this episode Kelly Behemoth Looney Tunes is the only one who realizes these bitches are embarrassing themselves by arguing over the cause. And during the course of the argument over whose day or cause it was, Silex and Gonzo forget what the fuck they are there for.

When Gonzo goes up to  deliver her speech that she prepared for many, many months in a convent by Tibetian monks she yells HEY LETS GET NAKED!!! ANYBODY WANTS TO COME HOME WITH ME!! Followed by a couple of coughs and some crickets.

 Also this season Alex is gulping hooch like an Irish sailor on payday  in almost every scene this season. Simon is also sporting the bloated alcoholic I start drinking at 9 am hung over look.

 Because Simon had to give his speech come hell or high water, they invited all the ho’s to come over their house in Brooklyn. Did they all teleport? 

While all the bitches are at Silex’s Alex yells at one of her kids not to crawl up Jillousy’s leg  because he’s about to. Simon then announces he is giving the beautiful speech that these bitches and the gay community which he is a part of, missed out on. And he pretty much just admits what we all knew all along, which was no surprise to me and that is, the fact that, he swings both ways, depending on the day. But, on the day he met Alex it was easier to marry an Alexandra than an Alex  and play house with an anorexic pale dry bone that has the figure of a very skinny guy with no dick, in order to obtain a precious green card. Unlike Sonja, I wasn’t confused about Simon admitting he likes it in the front and in the back, but rather I was more  confused about  admitting he married for a green card.

Since this whole episode is all about Sonja. She continues feeding her inflated ego and this time through her paid artist/ gigolo boyfriend, who is doing a painting of her. Gonzo stops by Brian’s house to look at the unfinished painting of herself and upon walking in, notices a large picture of a hot young girl that her paid boyfriend admits he painted for himself. At that moment I could tell Sonja wasn’t liking that shit. Watch that part again.

 But, it all gets progressively worse because when Gonzo demands to look at her own portrait, which, is still only a sketch. You can hear the disappointment in her voice and the shock in her face when she looks at that sketch and she looks like an old 87 year old seahag that works at the docks cleaning seagull poop. Notice how this guy truly expresses how he really feels about Gonzo and she is not liking that shit. And what the fuck is she wearing? She looks like a grandma with that granny get-up and her hair all up. Gonzo then starts demanding to her paid boy toy that he fixes the painting and makes her look 30 instead of 80. And he was having a hard time answering that shit so he lies and tells her YEAH, YEAH, YOU WILL LOOK YOUNGER IN THE PAINTING ONCE IS FINISHED, he says this just to shut her up then kicks her out of his apartment all the while  knowing he only has so much material to work with and making her look young would be lying on the painting.

Countless LuAnn and Gonzo meet up to plot Silex murder.

Finally it’s the big day of the portrait unveiling. Remember the cute brown hair young girl in the painting that Brian told Gonzo he painted for himself? Yeah, well she is the first guest that shows up to the event at Gonzo’s house. And as soon as she walks in the door and sees Brian she jumps on him and dry humps his leg, then she sticks her tongue down his throat. 

Since Brian is only Gonzo’s employee he doesn’t have to explain shit to Gonzo, nor can she  say anything  to him about whom he’s fucking on the side. But, we all know damn well she was fuming. And I bet that when the cameras left, Sonja and Brian got into a big fight over that other girl he’s porking, whom I bet only showed up to laugh at Gonzo’s portrait and make Gonzo jealous by dry humping Brian in front of Gonzo. NICE!

Gonzo brags that she is such a kind person because, even after she got Simon cut from giving the speech at the march and all the other  shit that day she put Simon and Alex through, like acting like an obnoxious asshole, she still invited Alex to the unveiling of her painting. Alex shows up dressed in a bondage dress she borrowed out of Simone’s closet and the bitch is wearing no bra. That dress doesn’t even fit her and it doesn’t do any good hiding her problem areas like her beer belly that sticks out more than her boobs.

Right after Alex and her horrendous outfit show up to Gonzo’s house, Gonzo is ready to ‘clear the air and corners Alex to talk about what happened the other day at the march. Sonja’s idea of clearing the so-called air is by berating Alex for standing up to her, for cutting Simon out of the speech. And to ad insult to injury Gonzo turns up the obnoxious and purposely forgets Simon’s name. Alex was standing there with her mouth wide open. “Simon, is that your husband’s name?”. Then, she threatens Alex by saying some shit about if Simon ever gets up in her ear like that again there would be problems. So yeah, her way of clearing up things was by not only berating Alex but, also belittling, scolding, threatening her all while using an obnoxious and condescending tone of voice.  What a bitch!

Of course Alex flips out, because that was a pretty low life thing of Gonzo to do. When Gonzo sees that Alex is not kneeling down to kiss her ring and feet and bend to Gonzo’s will and demands, Gonzo accusses Alex of having the worst manners and kicks Alex out of her house. This is when Alex turns up the crazy and refuses to leave until she is heard, causing a big ol’ scene that makes Alex look more crazy and ridiculous than Gonzo, who is the one that deserves to have her head ripped off by Alex.

And just to rub more salt in Alex’s wounds, Gonzo also proudly admits that she prevented Simon from giving the speech at the march.“I said I would speak if they would come to me outside of our group and to me alone,”. After the big blowup was over Alex finally leaves, and she walks home at night on the streets looking like a hooker, in her ridiculous crack-whore getup, and proceeds to call Simon who stayed home on babysitting duty  ’cause their broke asses can’t afford a nanny anymore since they’re both unemployed.

 

While standing on the street corner crying to Simon on the phone, the men in the background discuss going over to propositioned her because they thought she was a prostitute until one of them said he believed she was a tranni and being homophobes they decided to not approach her.

 Before storming out of Gonzo’s house, Alex should of just taken off one of those horrible hooker shoes she was wearing and used them as weapons on Gonzo because that nasty bitch deserved a stiletto up her culo .

When the portrait is about to be unveiled Gonzo just pushes her paid boyfriend Brian out of the way, and doesn’t give him any credit.Right when the painting  is unveiled you can hear the gasp of horror from everyone in the room.

 In this episode alone we get to see Gonzo’s nasty, narcissistic, attitude get slapped in the ego by the hand of  Karma when her paid boyfriend Brian revealed the painting, that he did so accurate of her and he shows the world that he sees Sonja as an oversexed narcissistic aging fugly bitch like everyone else does. Yes, I see that he is a really good artist he really brought out the 50 years of blowjob lines around her mouth . And he really captured the blue in the varicose veins on her shrivily legs that are not long for this world. Even the spread leg pose that the artist chose for this portrait reflects Sonja’s profession of many years.

Sonja  tries to play it off like this dude made some fantastic painting of her. Which he did because he capture the essence of  her ugly, and showed Sonja and the world what he really thought of her. Also he kept fucking with her throughout the episode, when he continued dissing her,  from telling her he is doing some other bitch on the side that he painted to inviting the side bitch to the made shift art gallery at Sonja’s for the unveiling of that awful yet accurate painting he did of her. And I know this stuck up broad was crying later.

  That was truly disgusting how Gonzo treated Silex. Even though Simon and Alex are crazy, fame-whoring, status climbing, wannabees and Alex has been acting like a psycho bitch too, ever since the season started and approaches things the wrong way, plus she doesn’t know how to argue for shit and wears S&M dresses with no bra and fugly-ass ‘Herman Monster shoes’, that still doesn’t give Gonzo the right to treat those people that way and get Simon booted from the speech. Besides he’s bi so he was better and more qualified at giving that speech anyways and he deserved to do that.

Gonzo was just being a bitch and just wanted to enjoy having the power to cut him and watch him and Alex argue beg and lose their shit, while she just acted like she wasn’t listening to them. I remember last season everyone was loving Sonja. She may be able to fool some people some time but she can’t fool everyone all the time and I knew that bitch was a narcissistic nasty asshole I could tell,  she  gave me that vibe.

All of the sudden Bravo was announcing yesterday, a new tentacle to this monstrosity called Real Housewives Of Miami. Whose first season it’s supposed to be released, to replace the next season of  The Real Housewives of New York  whose turn it was to be hanging from the reality TV pinata tree.

A couple of these Miami skanks look just as over processed and plastic as the bitches from Beverly Hills and a couple of them look younger .  Rumor has it that Bravo may be replacing RHONY with these Miami lice bitches. Because after viewing footage from last season, the powers that be at Bravo decided that the New York ho’s were too boring and Bethenny Frankel refuses to come back to be a part of that 6 clown circus.

Even though announcements  for the February 15th  premiere of the next season of the Real Housewives of New York were running all over the network . Bravo decided at the last minute, that they were pushing the show  back to begin sometime in March or April. Looks like they didn’t even give a real set date either.

Yesterday Andy Cohen emailed all of the New York ho’s an email with a lame ass excuse that, they needed more time to edit the show and will be starting it later during the year. Meanwhile the new replacement Real House Skanks of Miami was going to premiere in their place. How convenient.

According to Ramona the email read “URGENT,”. See with urgency. And the bullshit ass reason Bravo gave those ho’s for starting the show later on was they needed  “more time to make the show as GREAT and as big a hit as possible.” Translation : ‘This shit is boring and it sucks ass. So we need more time to polish this boring turd and edit the beejeevez out of it, to see if we can find more drama to give the blood thirsty audience what they want. Or we may just clip the whole thing in the editing room and never bring it back”.

Andy also told those ho’s not to tweet about this crap until Bravo made a final decision. Then he wrote : “We decided yesterday that our best bet was to give ourselves a little breathing room,” and “I would rather get the show right than rush it to air.”

According to some secret source :’ They wanted the ladies to fight like cats and dogs, but they got along,”

The so called secret source also revealed that, those bitches are worried that they will get the boot from the show :”[But] they are now freaking out that they’ll get fired for being boring and replaced by more fiery women.”

Meanwhile the New York Bitches are in denial. Dumb and Dumber Alex and Simon tweeted about it even though they were told not to. Andy Cohen is also denying any rumors of the show being canceled.

There’s also some interesting rumors that air head Kim Richards and Queen of Psycho Bitches Camille Grammer may not be coming back to this airplane crashing on a train wreckrage. Yeah, I bet Kim can’t be there since she’s probably busy doing alcohol and drug rehab. But there are talks that Bravo may be hinting to Cuntmille to move to New York so she can transfer to become a Real House Skank of New York and stalk her ex husband and his new wife as an added bonus shenanigan!

Jill Zarin the other most hated House Skank of them all; also invited Cuntmille Grammer to go hang out with her and the skanks of New York.  (Possibly in desperation so they don’t ax the show).

Bravo also has some new psycho heffas in mind to replace Cuntmille and the other crazy alkee bitch Kim Richards. Apparently they want to bring out the bitch in Adrienne Maloof aka Mrs. Jocelyn Wildenstein Jr. Since they are trying to lure this rich skank who happens to be a Los Angeles Lakers exec. Jeanie Buss daughter of   team owner Dr. Jerry Buss and girlfriend of Lakers coach Phil Jackson. Adrienne Maloof’s family happens to own the rival team Sacramento Kings  . Great the producers are shooting for an all out old fashion basketball hooligan riot.

Sylvester Stallone’s wife Jennifer Flavin Stallone was also promised shinny new objects and harassed asked  to do the show. But Mr. Stallone must of watch this bitch circus and told her ass AWW HELL NO!

Sources NYPost and NYDailyNews Thanks to my reader Cydney on this gossip.

Here is the original report from Aceshowbiz:

There may be a couple of housewives ditching “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills“, but producers are ready to replace them with more notable names. It was reported that Paris Hilton‘s aunt Kim Richards and Kelsey Grammer‘s ex-wife Camille Grammer might not return to the franchise, so the producers are building a safety net by talking to several powerful women.daily routine, including attending Lakers games. She would make an interesting addition because castmember Adrienne Maloof-Nassif’s family owns the rival Sacramento Kings.Sylvester Stallone‘s wife, Jennifer Flavin Stallone. A former model, Jennifer runs a beauty care products company and is mom to three young daughters. Unlike Jeanie who reportedly has been approached, Jennifer has not spoken with anyone from Bravo and her husband is allegedly not into the idea.Eddie Cibrian‘s ex Brandi Glanville who has proven to the world that she is one mouthy mother. Brandi is infamous for launching scathing attack on Eddie’s now-fiancee LeAnn Rimes and for recent DUI case. TMZ asked her about the casting possibility but she played it coy.Robbie Williams‘ wife, said no to reality TV. “They wanted her very badly, but she will not be going forward with Real Housewives. She is an actress and is pursuing acting, not reality TV,” a rep for her said.

To name one is Los Angeles Lakers exec Jeanie Buss, who is not only “the most powerful woman in sports” but also the lover of Lakers head coach Phil Jackson and daughter of the team’s owner. TMZ said producers went to the length of observing her

The next name mentioned in the list is

Another option is

There’s one last name whom Bravo wanted but she has declined. Ayda Field, who is now famous for being

 

Looks like Countess LuAnn de Lessep’s daughter knows how to party it up to catch up with mom. A secret source send The Dirty several pictures of  Victoria who apparently must of found her moms cigarette stash because the girl is holding a fresh smoke in every shot. I guess Victoria is practicing to be a party gal just like LuAnn and her famous drunken shenanigans of embarrasement.

 

 

 This montage of pics featuring Victoria de Lesseps  and friends was apparently taken at different locations, including the boarding school that Victoria attends and various other locations at the Hamptons were  the de Lessep’s are known to spend the summers.

Remember that in a previous season Victoria broke her wrists and LuAnn mentioned that while LuAnn was away, Victoria’s uncle was babysitting Victoria and her brother Noel. Victoria then tried to sneak out the bedroom window to go party and fell and broke both her wrists, perhaps some of these pictures where taken one of the nights when Victoria was sneaking out. 

 The so called source also told The Dirty that Victoria gets drunk and is  a “mess” who “wasn’t against hooking up with a girl if she was drunk enough.” This is only the beginning people!! Next thing you know, she will be posing on slutty pictures just like the Curtain Nympho  Twins!

 

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps is embarrassed at the  reefer rolling and racial slur shenanigans that her daughter Victoria pulled, while  she was bullshiting with a friend on a video on youtube this past week. Of course the news were immediately Tweeted  and spread like a wild California fire all over the internet by none other than loud ass trumpet mouth  Ramona Singer. Because that bitch looves to exploit any opportunity she may comes across if it means she can embarrass the shit out of some other bitches misery . Ya’ all know how that bitch gets off on shit like that.

LuAss feels terribly embarrassed for Victoria’s choice of the “N’ word and is publicly apologizing for her daughter’s dumb ass shenanigans.

Here is the original article from Popeater:

EXCLUSIVE:‘Real Housewives of New York City’ star Countess LuAnn de Lesseps calls her 16-year-old daughter’s use of the N-word in a YouTube video “unacceptable” and tells PopEater in an exclusive statement that she’ll use this setback to teach Victoria about the consequences of her actions.here), and an apologetic Ramona told me, “I’m not very tech savvy, and [I'm] heartbroken that I accidentally retweeted this. I called Luann and Victoria immediately to apologize and tell them to remove the video. Regardless of our catfights on the show, our children are off-limits.”

“I am the parent of a teenager, and as any parent can attest, teenagers go through periods of doing things that are wrong and not appropriate and that are later regretted,” she tells me. “My daughter Victoria knows that the behavior she exhibited was unacceptable. I have chosen to deal with this as a private family matter and an opportunity to discuss consequences of our actions.”
Fellow ‘Housewife’ Ramona Singer leaked the incident to a wide audience when she took to Twitter to spread a shocking claim that Victoria was spotted in a video using drugs, dropping the N-word and causing quite a stir.

“The countess’s daughter rolling a cigarette swearing n***er! fast forward to 4.12!!!,” Ramona tweeted about the YouTube video.

Both tweet and video have now disappeared (see a screengrab

Although, at last night’s 40th anniversary gala kickoff for New York Foundation for the Arts, hosted by ‘Housewives’ stars Simon van Kempen and Alex McCord, I was reminded that cast members’ children have not always been off-limits to other stars.

“None of us are perfect, and sometimes we all tweet or retweet a little too hastily,” Simon told me. “But it would be a little duplicitous for LuAnn to complain too much about Ramona’s regretful retweet when both she and Jill Zarin had great fun lambasting our oldest son throughout the third season.”

Wife Alex added, “In the four years we’ve been involved with ‘Real Housewives,’ neither Simon nor I have ever said anything negative about any other castmates’ children. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for many others on the show.”

Interestingly, Ramona also attended the event, but to hear what she has to say about the Twitter-gate she created, you will just have to watch the show. Yes, Bravo cameras were present.

 

Earlier Radaronline reported that NeNe Leakes had attended an event in Los Angeles without her wedding ring. NeNe is also sweating rabbit turds that her now soon to be ex-husband Greg may turn on her and disclose all kinds of scandalous, shit about her stripper past:

“NeNe has admitted that it’s over between her and Greg and she was not wearing her wedding ring recently. “She is worried that Greg might go public about some of her secrets because she has admitted that she has some ‘skeletons’ in her closet.

First her boytoy and new nose and now this.It seems that all these house ho’s end up divorced. It’s the curse of the housewives.

Jezebel.com reported that all the housewives of New Jersey have had some kind of bullshit problem with money and or lawsuits. Including Teresa and Joe being slumlords that gotten sued by tenants and vendors. Click here to read the full gossip on that.

I found this little interesting piece of gossip on the Countless LuAnn. It seems that just like Joker Face she may or may not enjoy sex in public restrooms:

At New York magazine’s summer kickoff party at the Kimberly Hotel’s Upstairs rooftop bar on Tuesday night, we spied the class-obsessed “Real Housewife” and boyfriend Jacques Azoulay coming out of a one-person bathroom … together.

Umm, we don’t think a chapter in de Lesseps’ book, “Class With the Countess,” covers tandem bathroom visits.

Or maybe they were just smoking a joint in there.

And finally here is a picture of Kelly Behemoth. It seems that she got away from her circus trainer again and ran in New York  traffic wrecking havoc. This time with an unidentified balding man wearing a wig:

 

 

And here is a picture of Kelly with her cellulite:

 

‘Have fun with that.’

 

YOU’RE IN HIGH SCHOOL AND WHILE YOU’RE IN HIGH SCHOOL I’M IN BROOKLYN!

On part 1  Alex was asked about going Brooklyn on Jills ass. We get to see the scenes of Alex delivering the ‘messague’, break out in hives and rip Jill’s face off. Alex explains that she got sick of putting up with Jill’s abuse and looking down on her for 3 years.

 Alex expresses that she always felt like tearing Jill a new asshole, but held back because she wanted to feel accepted by the fabulous circle of shit heads she wanted so badly to be part of .So she was forced to be a kiss ass, but finally she got tired of kissing ass and said ‘FUCK IT!’ So she ended up having to let her hidden ‘balls’ come out and tear those stuck up bitches a new one.

Alex flips off LuAnn and before you know it LuAnn starts her shit with Alex, about how Alex jumped in the middle of the Bethenny and Jill wars when it was none of her fucking business. Those 2 bitches are bickering at each other . Alex jumps on  ‘dumb drag queen’ LuAnn and tells that ho’ bag  she is a hypocrite and that she was getting involved too so shut the fuck up.

 LuAnn starts shushing Alex and calls her ‘dahling‘ Alex and Ramona then look at each other and say : what is that dumb drag queen doing? Alex then says she is happy she went Brooklyn on Jill’s ass and says she will do it again too, with the exception that this time she will deliver her own message and not use Bethenny’s message, but would still punch Jill in the mouth the same way she did the first time.

 Jill calls Alex  a ‘coward’ for not delivering her own message to Jill . Jill says that she is not friends with Alex anyways, so she don’t give a rats ass that Alex went ape shit on her.

  All of the sudden Sasquatch tells Alex to cross her legs. Because Sasquatch is the decency police!

Alex tells Jill that she was trying to be cool with Jill and talk to her and shoot the shit, but Jill is such an entitled stup up asshole, that doesn’t want to allow other people whom she feels are below her to be part of the fabulous circle of assholes she runs with. So Alex decided all that useless Jill ass kissing was exhausting and it was easier and more fun to just monkey punch Jill in the nuts.

Jill keeps saying ‘WE’RE NOT FRIENDS!..I NEVER CALLEWD YOU MY FRIEND!’  BITCH YOU’RE A FUCKING PEASANT  WAGE SLAVE!! WE’RE NOT FRIENDS SO FUCK YOU!.

Then Jill throws LuAnn under the bus and says that LuAss was the one talking about Alex’s crazy ass kids, crawling up peoples legs. LuAnn looks at Jill and says OH NO SHE DIND’T!

 Alex tells Jill that she is a backstabbing 2 faced lying bitch, whose being bulliying her for 3 years, telling Alex how to live her life the way Jill sees fit. Alex continues by letting Jill have it some more and says to Jill , bitch you fight dirty you go to gossip columns you plant bullshit stories you’re jealous of everybody, you try to get people not to film with other people! Jill’s fangs come out and hisses at Alex ‘Just because you say it it doesn’t make it true’ .Damn! did you see that? That’s Jill being defensive because SHE KNOWS IT’S TRUE!

 Alex gets asked by Andy why she forgave Ramona and Bethenny when they were also rude and Bethenny called Simon ‘revolting’ but Alex says its because once she smacked them around a little bit, they were cool. And never said anything bad about Alex or gay ass Simon again. Jill keeps reminding Alex they’re not friends and that Alex was ‘channeling the devil’ during fashion week and she is ugly. Then she gives Alex a fake ass apology.

Then Andy says what’s with the hives bitch? Alex says its because she desperately needs a tan.Pobrecita! And then Andy asked why Simom is a bloated fat ass  this year and Alex says it’s because he quit smocking crack. Then Alex proudly says he will starts smocking crack again soon and be in speedoes next year ! Andy gets all excited and says that we all have something to look forward to specially him! EEEEWWW!!!  Someone needs to tell Simon not to wear those speedos for American TV he needs to wear the baggy gangsta shorts like a decent person none of that European up your ass thong  shit on my TV . PLEASE!

‘THE RAMONA COASTER!’

Then it’s Ramona’s turn and of course they show the Ramona coaster clips of all her crazy shenanigans all the way down to the wedding renewal. Andy tells Ramona that she smacked everyone with a 2 by 4. Andy reads an email to Ramona about how she didn’t renew shit and she is still a crazy rude bitch who likes to spit on people  .

Ramona insist that she changed. Alex says people shouldn’t expect Ramona to change and suddenly just be ‘mellow’ and this is Ramona we’re talking about its pretty good for Ramona the changes she made.

 Then Ramona tells LuAss her ridiculous one shoulder Wilma Flintstone dress is a ugly cheap whore getup.

 Another email for Ramona this one asking Ramona if she had plastic surgery . Ramona says she doesn’t remember how old she  is and she didn’t have plastic surgery.Andy asks Ramona what injectables she had and she in turn ask Andy what injectables he’s had and he says ‘none’. I guess no one wants to admit the work they’ve had.

 Then of course Ramona gets called crazy eyes and reminded of her scary crazy  eye- cat walk on the runway were she was ‘channeling the devil’. And you can tell Ramona doesn’t like getting teased over her eyes, because she gets all crazy eyes and attitudy on Andy .

 Then Ramona gets asked about flirting with that old fart from ‘Hooters’ and Kelly starts preaching to Ramona because St. Kelly doesn’t do  indiscretions like that, unless it involves spreading her huge hairy Sasquatch legs naked for Playboy for a couple bucks.

 Ramona says she likes to kiss and grind on everyone and Mario was cool with it because he was with his girlfriend at the time anyways, so it’s all good. Then Alex says that Ramona made out with all of the other bitches while on vacation.  

Jill then gets asked for  being a total  insane bitch at the Ramona , ’Tru Renewal’ party, were she  took  revenge on Ramona for ruining her Kodak moment. We get another fake apology from Jill.

And back to Ramona for punching Beth in the face at the Brooklyn bridge. Ramona starts to apologize to Bethenny for being an asshole. But Kelly gets jealous because this is not about her . So in order to make it about herself, Kelly starts to  psycho hostile, attack Ramona and calls herself stupid while punching herself in the head repeating ‘Stupid Kelly! Stupid Kelly!’ (That’s because Kelly knows she is stupid and this is her way of acknowledging it !)

Then Bethenny gets asked about her happy life now that she won the lotto and getting everything  she wanted like Jason, and a  baby. Well you bitches know already. We see the clips of Bethenny and all the good stuff thats being happening to her. And they show the clips of Beth and her hot man. Bethenny says Jason is a good player who is not Facebooking  or Tweeting or Twaating and it is what is is. Bethenny says she  is happy with her new baby and husband and starts crying.

 And of course they dont’ show Kellys face. I bet she was grinding her teeth in jealousy. Bethenny is back to being the skinny girl again in less than a couple weeks, after farting out that baby. Beth says she only gained 35 lbs. She is kinda like a skeleton with huge boobies. Bethenny gets addressed about the  ‘media whore’ accusations . Beth says she is not a ‘media whore’, but she will use the press to make that green. Good for that bitch.

Then Kelly gets asked why she called Bethenny a ‘media whore’  and accused Bethenny of putting her bussiness out there. Kelly keeps pointing fingers at Bethenny and accusing her of putting her business out there of course, Kelly is a crazy delusional lying bitch and we all know that. When Bethenny asks Sasquatch if she can provide proof  and name publications that Bethenny talked shit to about Kelly, stupid ass Sasquatch Kelly cannot even pull a bullshit lie out of her butthole if it was to save her life and at least come up with a bunk publication name and stupid Kelly she gets caught in a lie and she knows it. So she starts to  scramble up a lie but fails miserably at it so she just starts attacking Bethenny by acting dumb. What a MORON!  

Sasquatch ass Kelly,  keeps going on and on saying she is not going to answer Bethenny and starts sweating because she knows she is lying and tries to change the argument to something else  by saying ‘What are you doing right now?!’  And Bethenny answers like a normal person “I’m responding to something that you’ve said!’

 By this time Kelly was able to come up with half a lie and starts saying some shit about ‘the people that worked for Bethenny planting lies about Sasquatch’s family in the press. Alex says to Kelly‘I never read anything about you’re family in the press!’ I don’t think anybody did either.

 Kelly just keeps sinking deeper in her self made bullshit hole and drowning in it! I was embarrased for this idiot!  Then she starts with Alex and tells her ‘Alex Mccord don’t ever put words in my mouth’ and Alex says I didn’t you asshole! We’re done! Andy shuts this conversation down because of course that beast is crazy and Andy knows they getting nowhere.

 Then the peeing moment. Andy asks Bethenny were she draws the line on what is being shown on TV because this season we’ve seen Beth sitting on the crapper peeing on a stick.

 Bethenny says when she starts fucking Jason on camera then arrange an intervention.Horny Countless LuAnn says’ Thats a new show dahling!’And gets all exicted because she wants to see Jason nakid too. I wonder what Jason thinks of the peeing scene. Bethenny was like whatves I don’t care that I peed on TV . I think she should of close the door. No shit!

Kelly says she needed to be the director during that scene.

Some other email calls Kelly a fly and says that Bethenny used an AK 47 to take that fly out. LuAnn was laughing at Kelly for being crazy and a retard whore and you could tell Kelly wasnt liking that shit cause she was looking down all sad when LuAnn was calling her stupid and pointing out the fact that Kelly has mental problems. Insert sad music here for Kelly Bensimoron Sasquatch.

Ramona got hot in her crotch I think she is having a hot flash or she is farting a wet, smelly, hot one.

Then of course the on going Vietnam war between Jill and Beth gets discussed . Starting of course with Bitch ‘Get a hobby!’And we see the clips of Jill running away from Bethenny, when she was trying to make up with her and Bethenny is painfully watching this shit about to cry.

Jill is acting as if she cares.  You can see during the clips that at first Jill didn’t want to talk to Bethenny anymore, but once Bethenny gets engaged  is when Jill’s attitude starts to morph and suddenly Jill, wanted  to make up with Bethenny and be friends again. By that time Bethenny didn’t want to talk to Jill anymore. Then we see Jill crying and saying she thinks Beth should forgive her.

  Jill and her hooker green stilettos,  look like she bought them at the Leprechaurn whore store. Jill says the power of the evil Satan cameras made her say the evil poison that spewed out of her mouth then she apologizes to Bethenny, (and pretended like she really meant it!) cries some more cocodrile tears  and calls herself a ‘New York Bitch’.

 Jill says she stayed away from Bethenny to not stress her out because Bethenny was preggers before. Beth says what happens was they were friends and Beth tells Jill the fame and famewhoring took over Jill. Jill turned into a crazy bitch.

Jill gets reminded that she is a bitch who counts everyting and rubs shit in your face. Jill gets called out on being the bitch that gives you a bagel and then talks about it for weeks to everybody on megaspeaker. Bethenny reminds Jill how she said ‘we are done!’ and also how she tried to  get people to not film with Beth.

 Then they all started taking over each other. LuAnn says they all try to sabotage filming with each other, like a pit of snakes. Alex tells Jill she is a bitch and reminds her she emailed Simon telling him to not film with Bethenny. She also confronts Jill on trying to ‘cut Bethenny out of housewives’.

Jill was getting scrambly and nervous trying to come up with good excuse-lies to justify her actions and asks Alex to show her the email.Alex tells her she is not crazy like Jill, keeping emails for 17 months.

 Jill tries to say she didn’t want to make up with Beth on camera  but off camera meaning she was pushing that drama.

Jill then tries to spew out another excuse and says that, she just didn’t want to make up with Beth because it was too early in the morning or some stupid shit like that. They bickered back and forth for like 20 min. Bethenny tells Jill she is a hypocrite ho’.

Bethenny says she herself did change but Jill is still a Bitch. Beth doesn’t believe that Jill has changed even thought Jill is now trying to pretend to change her tune. Bethenny says that  Jason didn’t like Jill much since the day he met her because Jill can be a snotty materialistic Bitch.

 Jill turns on the water works and starts crying and leaves with her green Leprechaurn whore-stilettos on. Kelly starts her shit because her meth kicks in and says that the fame is embarrassing or some shit . That bitch of course doesn’t make sense.

 

 

Part 2

Jill comes back or else they would of fire her ass. Andy looks at Bethenny and reminds Bethenny of the comment she made about Jill when she said that ‘the tides are  turning on Jill and that’s the reason why were having this conversation’ . Beth says that Jill always wants people to like her.

 Alex says that Jill doesn’t give a rats ass about the friendship with Bethenny going to shit  .  Alex says that Jill is only apologetic because she only cares that she looked like an asshole to the public and now everyone hates her. Because everyone now knows how she really is . Bethenny confronts Jill about how she only wanted to make up with Beth to look like a good person after  Jill heard that Beth got engaged and then pregnant .

Andy asks Bethenny why she wasn’t ready to make up with Jill when Jill was ready to make up with her. Bethenny answers  that it was because she was preggers and stressed out from all the bullshit  and had some blood clot. (I bet the stress that Bigfoot caused her in scary island contributed to her being sick while preggers). Then more bickering and talking over each other went on.

Andy says that Simon told him that Jill is a jelaous bitch and hates it when other people get more fame for their famewhoring and Jill hates it that Bethenny got her own show.

 Jill of course denies it and tries to kiss Bethennys ass. Jill says she is supportive and Simon is a lying shit-head who wears dresses. Then she goes on a spewage bullshit about how she  is supportive of every single one of the other bitches and mentions all their names even Ramona, but except Alex (notice how she never mentions Alex and look at Alex she is looking at Jill like she is channeling the devil like Sasquatch would say).

Ramona says that’s bullshit and that Jill called her up when Beth got her show and told her to not talk to Beth or film with her. Jill gets all pissed at Ramona and yells ‘YOU ARE SUCH A LIAR! ’ denies, denies, denies!

 Jill keeps apologizing to Bethenny. Kelly is pissed Bethenny didn’t want her in the show, because they don’t really know each other.UH?! Stupid bigfoot. 

Jill says she was shocked that Bethenny’s dad died. Then blames Alex for not telling her that Bethenny’s dad was dying then. They all talk over each other and Andy has to referee their asses.

Alex yells at Jill and tells that bitch she is a liar because Alex did tell Jill about Beth’s dad situation  and yells at her for not calling Bethenny.Kelly keeps trying to suck up to Jill but nobody listens. Alex yells at Jill and says, Bitch it was online you moron!

Andy brings up that Jill played the cancer card and she holds on to voice mail  messages for ever, like a weirdoe.

More arguing goes on and Jill says that they were  issues that where edited out.Bethenny says lets just murder Jill . Another email gets read were another reader rags on Jill and her showing her true colors. Jill can’t take it anymore because she knows it’s true and  tries to get up and leave again while crying because she got called out on all her shit and knows she is wrong.

Even Sonja came out and of course the only questions that they asked was ‘how many times you’re getting laid in a week come on Sonja!’. Sonja says she is worried about Sasquatch not getting laid enough. Kelly says she never had a one night stand but spreading her legs for Playboy for everyone and their grandpapi to see it’s okay.

Sonja Gonzo continues her talks about how much she likes sex and admits she is a hooker because she has a lot of satisfied ‘customers’. I KNEW IT! Sonja also admits she was a waitress at some puterio and thats how she met her suga papi.Then they went on talking about the settlement that Sonja got after divorcing her sugar grandpapi and I don’t really care about that so lets just move on.

 Jill admited that the one liners dind’t work for her this season and she is giving the throne back to Bethenny. Alex realizes that this is the phrase that Kelly used when she insulted her at scary island and told her she was channeling the devil. I think Alex should channel the devil to monkey punch bigfoot in he mouth.

Then Bethenny calls LuAnn a dumb drag queen that grew a penis after her husband left herass.Bethenny says that Countless was a bitch ‘drag queen’ and Bethenny bullied and nailed her silly ass but after that,  they were cool again.I can’t believe LuAnn was laughing about Bethenny calling her ass a ‘drag queen’. Maybe there’s a glimpse of hope for that Bitch.

Andy asked the ho’s if they are aware that when they’re in public ripping each others face off  there is people around. Methinks is the ghetto in each of these bitches that never left them so they are immune to public embarrassment. Even though LuAnn tries to say she is embarrassed but we all know that’s bullshit.

LuAnn says she likes to kiss and Sonja tries to turn Andy straight.

 The meltdown with Kelly gets discussed and Kelly scary island clips are shown of her bulldozing every body’s vacation and of her accusing Bethenny of trying to kill her. Of course Kelly is not admitting shit.

Bitch is sitting there saying I never said that that’s not me. Did you see Andy’s terrified look on his face? and of course Kelly says she was a victim of systematic bullying and bitch kept on and on accusing everybody else of bullying her when all the bullying was being done by her crazy ass.

Never did this retarded cunt, ever admit that she was the crazy one who shit all over that vacation and the one who attacked the other women , while snorting line after line of meth . Kelly kept  rambling on her insanity spewage, Ramona said this stupid whore doesn’t make sense and she just wants to jump on Kelly and punch her in the throat. I’m sure at this point even Andy feels that way.

Kelly keeps saying she had no break down but break through. Andy just looks at her like ,are you serious bitch?. Ramona is gonna bust a vein through her asshole because she can’t take the crazyness from this dumb broad anymore.

 Kelly pulls another lie out of her hairy Bigfoot ass and says that the producers had to have  an intervention, of camera with Bethenny, which obviously never happened. Bethenny calls her ‘delusional’ And she is .Is this bitch so strung out on drugs and delusional she is actually believing this shit? Kelly sits there making up bullshit stories she continues to  ramble things that never took place and everyone is looking at her in disgust, confusion and horror .

Kelly says she is a scarecrow and a stupid idiot then her dumb ass throws another bullshit lie up in the air hoping it it will stick,by saying  that she was ‘forced’ at gun point to go on this trip by Bravo and Andy tells her THAT’S BULLSHIT BITCH! But of course there is no arguing with  a crazy demented Sasquatch bitch  who suffers from schizoprenia  and a serious case of asshole  . Kelly  answers Andy with her dialeted meth pupils and says all in a psychotic tone ‘yes they did everyone knows that they forced me Andy , Bravo forced me!’

 You could tell Andy and Ramona wanted to get up and knock that bitch the fuck out.  And of course  stupid ass LuAnn tries to defends Kelly but eventually even she admits Kelly  instigated alot of the shit, because it is so OBVIOUS!  Kelly kept saying it was disgusting and says’ I was embarrased’ Bethenny tells her ,‘you should be embarrased’ bitch. But of course Sasquatch is not embarrased for herself  like she should be . I am embarrassed for her. No, seriously I was.

It’s funny how Kelly says ,’ it was disgusting’ and ‘the most vile situation I’ve ever been in my entire life’  and blah blah blah. It’s so hilarious in an ironic demented way how she describes herself to a ‘T” when she is saying it was ‘disgusting’ and ’vile’but then twistes it and says, it was the other bitches being disgusting and vile. What a weirdoe! The other Bitches told her ass she was crazy and should go to the loony bin so that’s when it was her turn to throw a fit  and decides to get up, leave and take her mentally unstable ass  to got snort more meth.

 

“She just makes up whatever she wants to say. She’s going to tell me she’s an African American Asian woman in a minute. And we’re like okay, no, you’re not.”

Part 3

After Bethenny says that Kelly is a crazy mentally ill ho’ and next she is gonna say that she is an Asian African American woman who  just makes up anything she wants and acts like  the meltdown she had in scary island never happened, which is dangerous. All the bitches kept bringing up how this ho was picking fights and Bethenny says that Kelly was kicked out of scary island, ‘escorted by a producer’ .(It took 7 guys in yellow jackets with nets to trap her crazy ass  before they threw her in the van headed for the loony bin) 

Kelly reminds me of the loser turds they show on that show ‘Intervention’. Yep, that’s they show that Kelly should be on. All the other bitches  Ramona, Beth, Sonja and Alex are talking about how Kelly was crazy and mental, bullying people and pissing on peoples food. Sonja says that after the crazy bitch left they were all happy.  Kelly suddenly comes back. Did ya’ all noticed how that bitch was licking her lips like a crackhead when she came back? UHHMMM?!!

Kelly  is being all attitudy like always then she starts her shit with Bethenny again. Sonja mentions that Bethenny was not picking fights with the beast she was minding her own business cooking for everyone while on vacay. But Kelly has to start throwing her meth induced attacks and says ‘She wasn’t cooking the chef was cooking for her‘ ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?! SHE ATE THE FOOD SHE SAW BETHENNY COOKING?!

Kelly obviously doesn’t like that the other bitches are all calling her out on her psychotic episode which she pretends never happened.

 

Ramona reminds Kelly  bitch’ you told me you don’t have feelings’ yeah, I guess Kelly told Ramona that throught her marriage she had no feelings. UHH? Then Kelly calls Ramona  a drunk . Kelly says that the other bitches should apologize to her because she is Kelly. But then Ramona tells her she should apologize for ruining their vacation. I agree but to Sasquatch that doesn’t mean shit because she is an asshole.

 Andy asked Kelly if she recovered from her mental breakdown she answers ‘recover from what?’   The other ho’s and Andy are giving each other some confused, horrified looks.See this bitch is in so much denial she needs to be in a insane asylum for the criminally insane and please put Joker Face in there with her and Bravo can film them. ( I better shut up before I give those bastards ideas) Andy asks her again if she went coo coo ca too but Kelly continues to act like nothing happened with her whole going ape shit  spectacle  she so psychotically displayed at the vacation. I bet  she’s  flipped out like this before,  that’s why it don’t face her that everybody is telling her that she is crazy to her face.

 And why does Kelly asks those bitches if they’re jealous ? Jealous of what? That she has a pinga between her hairy legs? I don’t get it ? What are they supposed to be jealous of? Embarrassed for Kelly maybe, jealous I don’t think so.

 

Andy brings up how  once Kelly was escorted out of the island by the men with nets Jill had to show up to put a final turd on top of their already ruined vacation. And of course the clips are played so these bitches relieve the nightmare.

 

Sonja Gonzo says they threw  a friend out and she deserved it because bitch didn’t call and that was rude. Sonja also says that Jill could of made up with Bethenny in New York instead of flying out there stirring more drama.

Jill says she went because Ramona had insisted she go to that vacay with her.

Ramona asks Jill why did she not meet Sasquatch ass Kelly at the airport after she went ape shit to make sure she gets to the loony bin safe but Jill says that Kelly was chained and shackled safely in a cage and she also doesn’t  give a rats ass  about Kelly anyways. Plus Jill also denies Kelly’s obvious and various mental diseases fueled by meth.

Jill then looks at Ramona and yells , and by the way thanks a lot bitch, for not letting me and Bobby use your shitter after a 9 hour flight! Then a screamin match between Ramona and Jill .

Jill blames Alex for getting kicked out of the pedicure party .Jill is going full throttle after this bitch now.

Kelly accuses Alex of ‘acting’ because Kelly thinks other people do the same shit she does, all the time.Kelly kept instigating more shit I think the roids are kicking in about here. Bitch is like a ranging bull, but keeps saying she was bullied . Yeah this is coming from this shemale that beat up her own boyfriend with her manly fists. This bitch is embarrassing and she just keeps embarrassing herself . But she doesn’t realize this shit.

 

Andy then picks on LuAss the Countless. Andy brings up the short lesbian Courtney and LuAnn makes a lame ass excuse for not kissing him. Bitch tries to say it was because she wasn’t ready to kiss him .LuAnn doesn’t admit the short lesbian breath rieked like the inside of a coffin that was just dug up from the grave. Andy asks LuAnn about the current boyfriend Jac the french guy who is also Jewish and asks LuAnn  if the Count is racist asshole against Jewish people. LuAnn tries to say it was some other lame excuse that had to do with her but no one was buying it. 

Did you all notice how when Andy asked her if she fucked around on the Count she says I don’t have to answer shit bitch. In other words yes I did it ain’t none your bussines. See easy. Ramona tells LuAnn bitch you just admited it by saying that dumbass!  We discovered that LuAnn’s title wil be striped once she remarries. LuAnn says she deserves at least her courtesy title.

 Andy said that Courtney got emails for being a short stinky lesbian.  LuAnn says that right now, she is still fucking him in addition to new  boy toy Jac .And LuAnn makes Jac and Courtney play tennis matches against each other and whoever wins gets to fuck her.NICE! Andy tells LuAnn that Kim Zolciak said that LuAnns song sucked ass and LuAnn answers, fuck that bitch Kim!

Then a trip to Kelly land again Andy questions her about her contradictions of being a prude but then being naked on Playboy. This bitch seriously defends being on Playboy to give her daughters self steem. EUUKKAAAYY THEN!

 When Alex got asked about the pictures she took naked and how there was a double standard between hers and Kellys Playboy pictures Jill jumps in and says that the scary Alex pictures can’t be compared to Kellys. Because Alex pictures where creepy and taken at Simons hotel hallway. Jill made sure she repeated this to get Simon fired from the hotel because she hates people who are not rich like her and she never changed she is the same bitch she is always being.

In the end nothing really got resolved with all these ho’sand it was a very loong3 part reunion. However I didn’t expect anything to get resolved especially with Sasquatch Kelly in the mix. Andy should of had the loony bin squad phone number on speed dial just in case he needed to call them during the reunion . Bravo really needs to stop exploiting this mentally ill beast.

 Bravo is the new version of the of the traveling circus freak shows, that used to exploit people back in the day for being deformed freaks and Andy is the ring master. We’ll see what happens next season and if they bring Sasquatch back or will they be filming her from the insane asylum? Untill next season bitches.