It didn’t take long for Brooks Crooks to make the move from Missisipi to OC Cali to live as resident love-tank-filler/housebitch of Vicki Gunvalson. But, it also didn’t take long (I would think like 5 minutes tops) for him to get sick, fed up and tired of Vicki’s anal controling ways and not the type of anal that I’m sure Brooks was hoping for.

From Radaronline:

“He recently relocated to Orange County to be closer to her and that’s proven to be a complete disaster. He says he feels constantly irritated and annoyed by her and finds her possessive and controlling.”

Even though Brooks is already sick of Vicki’s controlling ways his ass is already addicted to the famewhoredom that comes with dating Icky Vicki, and enjoys all the attentions he gets from random ho’s when he makes appearances at super markets, whorehouses and massage parlors and shit like that. Yeah, hasn’t he realized that asshole bloggers are going to gang-punk clown on his ass and dig all of the dead bodies in his closet?

 Also, during the Wines By Wives event, gossipy witnesses revealed that Crooks and Vicki were NOT acting like the couple in love that Vicki is trying to pretend they are. Apparently, these two dipshits dind’t even arrive together to the event and Brooks was doing his rounds hitting on women and creeping them the fuck out:

“They didn’t arrive together,” the source says. “Vicki made some grand entrance in a Bentley while Brooks stood around in the crowd waiting for her. Then they were hardly together all night.

“Vicki stayed in one corner pretty much all of the night, holding court, while Brooks worked the room like a shark looking for his prey.”

“I saw Brooks hitting on several women and he seemed to be using pretty much the same old chat up line with all of them. A couple of the women spoke to me later and commented on how creepy he was.”

Was this creepo telling random bitches how much he loves them and their children, after two whooping minutes of knowing them?

Later on, when Brooks Crooks was probably already drunk off his ass and had a loose tongue he told a gossipy witness that he was sick of Vicki’s shit already. I bet the person he probably said this to, was some woman he was trying to pick up for an evening booty-call and that bitch ran to Radaronline to sell the gossip:

“Then, later in the night, Brooks told a friend of mine that he was sick of all of Vicki’s bullshit and that he was totally over her drama.

“I really don’t see these two lasting much longer.”

 How can someone who is supposedly so smart be so fucking stupid! I bet Brooks is going to rob this bitch  blind. I think it would be cheaper and more satisfying for Miss Alpha Female Independent Business Lady Vicki Gunvalson to just get a paid professional gigolo instead, at least they work out and are younger than this fat-ass, bloated, alcoholic unemployed loser Brooks who probably needs Super Viagra to fill her rusty Love Tank!

And now let’s move on to an ex-house skank that’s still trying to hang on to fame and like the flaming herpes refuses to go the fuck away. Lynne Curtin or Curtains flipped out on her dimwitted husband of 23 years (didn’t this idiot do this once before already?!) and told Radaronline she was filling for divorce from her husband. Except her husband didn’t know it yet but, she told Radaronline first so this way they can blind-side her husband and tell him the shenanigans she is up to.

From Radaronline:

“After more than 20 years of marriage Frank and I have decided to go our separate ways,”

“I love Frank but it was time to go out on my own.”

“I haven’t filed for divorce yet, but I’m going to be doing so soon,”

“Who knows what the future holds, but I’m looking forward to doing the things that I want to do,”

Did this bitch get evicted again? Because last time she threatened her oblivious husband with divorce it was because his ass was broke and not able to keep up the payments on their rented beach house, that this ho’ bragged up and down was their own home and since rent wasn’t paid on it because Lynn and her oldest daughter Raquel had plastic surgery they all ended up with their shit on the side walk and living out of their cars like dirty hobos. I wonder if she is threatening to walk because she had another face transplant and her husband Frank wasn’t able to keep up with her wild spending sprees and surgery addictions plus her Cuffs Of Whore line I heard wasn’t making any money.

This is what Lynne’s clueless husband Frank had to say about Lynne’s latest hissy fit, when asked for his reaction:

“It’s hard to even confirm it. How do you confirm something that you don’t want? It’s very heartbreaking for me. It’s painful to even talk about it,” Frank said. “I’m deeply in love with my wife. Business is so bad, it has caused a lot of stress in my relationship. I love my wife. She’s just not herself right now.”

“I’m not a willing participant in this. It hurts to even think about it or talk about it. Call me old-fashioned, but I take my vows very seriously.” The vow he is most likely referring to would be “for richer or for poorer.”

 Also recently on Watch What Happens Live! Tamra Barney revealed that the Curtain girls have long moved out and one lives with a boyfriend while the other with a grandparent.

 I feel sorry for Lynne’s dimwitted husband who is obviously so in love with her beef jerky ass he would die without her. I sure hope she gets over her bitch fit and takes him back, even if they both have to be beach-hobos together because I don’t think they can do any better than each other. Hang in there Frank!

Even though Lynne Curtains is living in the van down by the river and she is no longer on the show, she still needed to ask Tamra what’s up with her and Fernanda. Plus this may get her some camera time so she can hop back on the show and make some much needed dinero.

Lynne informs Tamra that Fernando has bragged about the make out session Tamra and Fernanda shared on Tamra’s birthday, while Tamra was still married to Simon. Lynne also tells Tamra that Fernando’s crazy lesbian ass was not only bragging to Lynne, but also to the community about the Tamra-Fernanda love affair.

When Lynne asks if Tamra is gay, Tamra straight up tells her NO I’M JUST A WHORE! Then she starts singing ‘Blame it on al al al al alcohol, blame it on al al al alcohol’.  But at least no “nipple tweaking.” occurred between her and Fernando, so that means Tamra is straight. But just a whore.

Tamra must now break up with Fernando. Tamra also mentions that ever since her and Eddie became an item Fernando acts weird then she  brags that Eddie told her that the reason why Fernando acts like a whinny bitch since her and Eddie got together is because Fernando is ‘in love’ with Tamra. But that statement may be more Tamra bragging about herself.

Peggy pounds on Alexis door and demands to speak and confront Alexis on the whole thing with Jimbo not being present at her dinner party and disrespecting her and blah, blah, bla. Methinks she wants to get the dirt on this bitches marital problems. AlexAssLips starts twitching because every-time Peggy is around, the bitch gets the jealousy crazies and starts getting argumentative and all competitive with Peggy.

Peggy asks Alexis why Jim wasn’t at the party, and she says that she doesn’t believe that whopper about  ’work’  keeping Jimbo from attending the party. Specially since that fool,  ‘never had a real job’ even when he and Peggy used to knock fugly boots together. Then, AlexAssLips can’t take the heat anymore and blabs out that Jimbo hates the other bitches and that’s why he didn’t want to attend this bullshit party.

Peggy bitches at AlexAss about how Jimbo is an asshole to Micah, and AlexAssLips orders Peggy to shut the fuck up because Jimbo has owned four Lamborghini’s.  And they all got repoed. But still even though all of Jimballs Lambs got repoed; AlexAssLip’s husband still has to be the Alpha male. And Jimbo has the pathetic and desperate Alpha male complex down to an art-form so is very easy for him to flip out on Micah like that.

After AlexAssLips brags, about how perfect and Christian her perfect family is, she starts whining about how she doesn’t have time for a social life. Why, with all her children and nannies, and the fashion designing skeam plus the 18 hours a day of workout plus ad the five hours of puke sessions that go along with that, the poor thing has no time for a social life.

Peggy sits there with her mouth wide open because she wants to punch that ho’ in the mouth. How come these people give off a weird vibe every time they are around each other? And it goes beyond the vibe of the two bitches being jealous of each other. Specially AlexAssLips who seems to show more jelaousy towards that bony ass corpse they propped from the coffin named Peggy.The vibe is definitely icky. Did they swapped partners? EEEWWWWW!!!!

Vicki still hates Donn and now she is more pissed at him for embarrassing her at the dinner party calling her a ‘bitch’ and acting a fool. But she’s always hated him. Donn tries to talk to her and she just ignores him while she fumbles around in the kitchen. Donn gets all sad and takes off to his new job washing cars on the corner of the street for five bucks a car. Ten for wax. Fifty for happy ending. Yep, he gives the best blowjobs and car-wash on that corner!

Next, the Drunken Beinge Winery Hoping Adventures, starting Vicki and her ignorant racist undertone comments made to the Puerto Rican Winery worker who makes the mistake of innocently asks the bitches if they are ready to ‘go to the dark side’. Meaning dark wine. However, Vicki has to turn it into a race comment telling Tamra that since the wine attendant is ‘brown’ Tamra is going to jump him because Tamra likes the ‘dark’ meat. The wine guy is clearly pissed and wants to punch Vicki in the face because the bitch is totally insensitive and oblivious or just doesn’t care about how offensive and racist this comment came out. Everyone else is embarrassed for her. But, stupid Vicki just keeps going making the room cringe. And nobody calls her out on her ignorance.

Peggy is also invited to tag along in this winery hoping expedition and she decides to stick her tongue so far up Vicki’s ass with her constant, pestering interrogations of Vicki’s crumbling marriage that she ends up pissing Vicki off. Vicki cries.

Slimey’s mom shows up at his house and demands of Gretchen food and wine chop, chop. And she also demands that Gretchen makes more money to support her loser son. Gretchen downs some wine and now that she is nice and drunk she bails out to avoid her possible future mother-in-law and drives off in her car to the market to get more wine. While drunk.

Slimey’s own mama tells him that everyone in America thinks  that he’s a loser and Gretchen’s little house bitch. Then, she tells him that it’s no wonder Gretchen’s parent’s don’t like his ass because he needs to get a job.  She also mocks him by asking him if he thinks Gretchen’s dad will hand  his stupid ass the family business. Finally, she hands him an application for McDonalds that she got from Eddie.

Next Tamra meets Fernanda for lunch and to break up with her. Tamra tells Fernando that the bathroom kiss meant nothing. Since kissing a girl for fun doesn’t count when you’re drunk. Then, Tamra tells Fernando to quit being in love with her and Fernando says Tamra was just a bootie-call anyways and not a good one after all.

AlexAssLips is doing a photo-shoot to peddle her awful dresses. She first has lunch with her Pee Wee Herman gay assistant Dylan and tries to talk him out of going to his college class that night because she believes in her tiny little pea brain that she is a better education since he is internshipping with her broke ass.

But, the smart assistant decides he is going to class because that bitch is broke anyways and he knows that she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing and that her so called fashion line will go down the toilet to join Sheree Whitfield’s line. After the wise assistant bails out, AlexAssLips is left to do her photo-shoot with Towel. Damn that bitch does look just like Octomom. Is that her?

AlexAssLips must be really holding  a lot of bottled up anger because of all the shit she has to put up with, from Jimballs. Since she constantly acts like an angry, jealous, controlling, competitive, shrew every-time she’s around certain females and Towel just like Peggy, seems to be one of them. AlexAssLips must be jealous of that other bitche’s huge-ass lips, that’s what it must be.

During the photo-shoot-out Alexis tries to control and direct the poses that Towel is doing when she doesn’t even know how to pose herself! I swear that bitch would not make it as a model they would fire her stupid ass she kept making these stupid faces like she was a blow up doll while  she was squatting taking a shit. She just looked stupid.

I hate to say it, but even stupid ass Kelly Bensimoron can model and do poses.  And she’s a moron! But stupid AlexsAssLips cannot even do that!  How sad, maybe she really needs her Master of Puppets Jimbo there or else she may really forget to how to breathe!

AlexAssLips failed attempts to control the photo shoot are foiled by her controlling husband Jimbo, who turns the photo-shoot into a cover for a porn flick. He even sets off the hotel smoke alarms by catching the carpet on fire with his cigars. (It wasn’t the smoke machine that set it off.)

AlexAssLips is not liking that shit, but she says she has to ‘listen’ and obey her fugly husband or else he may give her a black-eye to go with her fat lip. So AlexAssLips just bends over and takes it.

But that’s okay she will take it out later on Towel or Peggy or whoever the unfortunate bitch that happens to be in front of her is  at that time.

Meanwhile Gretchen has dragged house-bitch and Slave Slimey I mean Slade,  to Texas to peddle her fugly bitch bags. Gretchen is having fun detaching Slimey’s balls and playing catch with them and passing them around  all the other people in the studio where she is filming an infomercial. Gretchen calls Slimey her ‘roadie’ and her house-bitch etc. Then, she demands he curls her hair like he did that morning.

Slimey is still in denial and insist that Jo De La Rosa was the one who emasculated and bossed him around, not Gretchen. Yeaahh sure whatever you say buddy!

Peggy gets wind that AlexAssLips had a photo-shoot and so she decides to clean up her freshly embalmed corpse and does a photo-shoot in her good whore-lingerie. Who needs to pay their house note when you can have pictures of a dried up mummified skank that’s been up for 6 weeks straight tweeking on meth and it shows.

Peggy brags that most girls may have the looks but can’t pose for shit. She must have being directing that dig at Alexis. And Peggy is right, she should know, wasn’t she like a famous model that traveled the world and was in various music videos.

Wait what? She wasn’t? Yeah well even though she was just some unknown, wannabe model who was never told that some guy taking pictures of you in your underwear in a Easy 8 motel room so he can look at them later doesn’t count as modeling;  at least Peggy knows how to pose and in that gorgeous lingere and thinning, stringy, hair Peggy looks like an old 57 year old  crack-addict, hooker, with botched-surgery tits and no ass that just took her last hit of crack and the funeral parlor just got done embalming her and they’re getting ready to bury her all decked out  in her best lingerie.

We get to see a loong clip of all the bullshit that went on last season. Then we move on to these bitches snooty introductions. You know, the ones where they try to make everyone watching feel inferior next to them and like our lives do not live up to theirs because we are not fabulous and driving Bentleys while defaulting on our mortgage like our newest house skank this season, who is also a professional fronter Peggy Tanous . I guess since she rather have a Bentley than pay her house note her flat ass is gonna be living in her Bentley while parked down the river with all her kids.

Tamra brags that she is now a ‘Free Bitch’, and can fuck whoever she wants. Including her new boyfriend Eddie Judge whom she’ll be doing on various bath tub porn flicks on line. Because I know there is a raunchy video of those 2 dipshits coming up in the near future. The Tarot told me!

Vicki keeps bragging about how she makes her own money , ok what else is old? Gretchen spews some bullshit about not apologizing for being an idiot. And Alexis mumbles some gibberish while pretending to speak in tongues, about how her husband is the second coming of Jesus and she is his slave, or some other nonsense like that.

‘ Tamra the Free Bitch’ is inviting everyone to some shopping party, including Gretchen whom she still hates. Except now she blames her hatred of Gretchen on Simon’s mind  controlling powers of evil. And since she left Simon her ass is now free to make amends with Gretchen . Or so she says. But Gretchen is all , whatever bitch I know you still hating on me and quit prank calling me!

Tamra is still friends with Holier Than Thou Sanctimonious Mother Of Virtue Alexis Bellino. Who sheds her words of wisdom about how in ‘Biblical terms divorce is not something that people are supposed to do, but my friendship with Tamra absolutely survived”.

Soooo,what she is saying is that Tamra is lucky to even still be friends with her skank ass, because she shuns people in her circle who get divorces from their spouses ???!!! Because other people are not lucky to have a wholesome marriage like her and Reverend Jimblob The Hideous, who is allowed to lay hands on her to keep her ass in check???!!! Is this what this transparent, ducked lipped ignoramus just said? It’s her first camera interview and she is already talking sanctimonious preachy hipocrytical shit. What’s gonna happen when  she has to  dump Jimbo’s ass because he’s broke? Will she be back at the Marriott turning tricks?

Vicki doesn’t want to play with Tamra because Tamra is a backstabber as proven last season.

Tamra brags about how her new hot Spanish speaking boyfriend, is letting her trash his house to throw a party. And Gretchen is afraid Tamra is just inviting her to get her ‘Naked Wasted’ like that one time. Tamra says that if everyone just gets liquored up they will just all be in love again and a big orgy will happen.

Gretchen is peddling her pleader handbags, because crystal meth is some expensive shit. Plus what about Slade . He needs his meth too . Vicki says that the Gretchen shitty hand bags for meth collection, are  gonna end up at the 99 cent store for 50 cents a pop.

Gretchen says she is desperately pimping those bags to whoever will buy them, so that she can support Slade Slimey. Whose sexual services  are not  free, and whose whole income comes from Gretchen since he has no job and is on welfare .Plus Gretchen has to prove a point to everyone, that she is not a golddigger since she is getting banged by a  Real Broke Ass of the Orange Cunties in the Orange Cuntie .

But the truth is, this bitch is still a golddigger. Just not a very good one. And Slimey is the guy she wanted to really bone and allow to drain her out of the last penny of grandpa Beitzel’s money, after he croaked of course. Shit I bet  Slimey was probably already lurking around, sniffing around till Granpapi Money died so that he can get at that money. Specially since that whole music career with Jo De La Rosa wasn’t working out.

As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t even put it past Gretchen  and Slimey to have already been bumping  fuglies  before Granpapi Money died . And while Wretched Gretchen was still dating her old flame Jay Photoglou. Did this gutter skank get a boob job? Because her boobs look plastic and larger!

Next is our beloved Vicki the Evil Empress who eats popcorn out of a skull. Her husband or should I say her then-husband and now ex-husband Don, is seeking some appreciation for cleaning Vicki’s filthy car and her response to that is: Yeah so what! ‘that’s your duty!’ whinny bitch now help me put the living room back together so it can look nice when my boyfriend comes over . Don yells at her ‘ WHY ARE YOU MOVING THIS SHIT IN YOUR HIGH HEELS YOU DUMB BITCH!” I would be asking her the same shit too.

Right after he yells  at her for being stupid, Vicki  is on the camera interview bragging about how her and Don renewed their wedding vows and how they respect each other and are the happiest, and she allows him to hold his dick and sometimes even take it out when she lets  him  go out with his friends. Meantime more scenes are playing that totally contradict what this bitch is saying on her camera interview, while the ‘You’re a dumb ass music’ is playing in the background as we watch her and Don bickering until it turns into a big ole’ fight and it is OBVIOUS that these 2 hate each other . Plus we all know this all ends up in divorce court. So let’s move right along.

Then we see a short scene of Tamra getting all of her Simone tattooes removed. She really spends a lot of time and money going back and forth getting tattooes put on and then taken off . This bitch won’t learn. How much you wanna bet, if she keeps dating Eduardo Navarro this is going to be the next tat she gets :

Next AlexAss is burning toast because the dumb ass doesn’t have anybody helping her anymore and doing all the behind the scenes junk that she doesn’t want to be bothered with. Like cooking, cleaning, being a full time mom. You know the real housewife tedious shit that can cut into her ‘me’ time which includes her 8 hours at the gym and 4 hours getting botoxed injections, so she can stay beautiful for her master Jimbo; since rumor has it that the gravy train is running dry these days for her  husband’s  con artist skeam  bizness . Which means they’re broke asses just fronting the shit and  as the result of all this broke-assery these pozers  had to let go of the 4 nannies and keep only one part time one. Or so she says.

Alexis is overwhelmed because since she farted out those kids she never had to deal with them and now for the first time she is left alone to deal with them and since she never really hang out with them before she doesn’t even understand what the fuck they’re saying because they all speak Spanish because that’s all they heard from Maria, Rosa, Socorro and all the series of Spanish speaking nannies that being dealing with those kids since they were born. So naturally  she doesn’t know how to deal with those strange children, who are barking and biting at each other.

Jim Jr. looks just like Jimbo! Poor kid! The only thing I can hope for is that , when those children hit puberty that they rebel against their parents, to not be like them at all. And listen to whatever form Heavy Metal of their time morphs into. Or whatever type of music that would make a Bible-thumping, hypocrite, shit themselves from the anger of being offended. That is what I hope for. They’re young I have hope for them.

Right after that incident AlexAss starts getting all preachy again and bringing up the Bible and Jesus and how every morning she wakes up doing what Jesus would do. Really? So I guess Jesus would be on a reality show with big ass, fake, scary, porno size, tits and getting hammered in the middle of the day. While talking smack about other skanks and being all confrontational and starting all kinds of drama and fights with those same skanks for entertainment . Alexis  needs to shut up and stop insulting Jesus already!

And her duck lipped pie hole doesn’t stop there. She goes on to preach some more about how the Bible says that its the man’s job to be the head of the household and the woman’s job is second. Where in the Bible did she see this exactly? I know she must of asked Jimbo the same question when he sold her that lie. And his answer to that, was that it says it, in the back of the Bible somewhere and the bitch just took his word for it and didn’t bother or wanted to bother looking it up. Since her master Jimbo told her LOOK IT UP AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS BITCH! , as he raised his fist above her freshly injected botoxed face.

GRETCHEN VS TAMRA ROUND 2. This time Gretchen says she is gonna be a bitch!

 Gretchen gets ready for Tamra’s shopping party and she takes this bitch Shawna with her in case ‘the other bitches get crazy’ so that Shawna can scrap with their ass . Gretchen is all excited snorting line after line of meth and getting ready because she is looking forward to   go and start throwing punches the minute she sees Tamra. Plus Shawna is gonna watch her back . Vicki doesn’t want to attend Tamra’s party because she is afraid her staff will be slacking off while she is gone and she wants to stay and micromanage. Plus none of her employees can hold and crack the wip as well as Vicki can.

Tamra is also getting ready for the shopping party and has some shirtless dude serving drinks .

Fernando shows up looking like a hot tranni mess and Tamra and Fernando proceed to flirt. Shirtless bartender misses his boyfriend, but says he is willing to  jump in the middle of the Tamra and Fernando sandwich. Fernando is cool with it. See I knew she was bi!

We’re still having that 3 some later on with him, when everyone leaves right?

Tamra says she is not trying to get Gretchen Naked Wasted ever again and will  be the nice person this time.

Little did Tamra know that Gretchen was getting her own self Naked Wasted since the bitch showed up drunk off her ass and ready to scrap with Tamra. Plus that PCP cigarette she smoked earlier only added to her hostility. Gretchen picks up a hat with an evil eye repellent, from the sales rack and starts drunken slurring something about : THEESS HERRE HAT WILL KEEP THE EVILE BEOTCHES AWAY FROM STEALING MY SOUL, YE DIRTY BEOTCH !!

Vicki tells Tamra to grow some balls and kick the bitch out but Tamra backs down. The bartender keeps missing his boyfriend while Gretchen keeps getting naked and molesting the bartender and slurring more stupid shit, COME HERRE YE BEG BOY MAMA WANTS SOME SUGAR YE’ BOYTOY!! Then she pukes on him. The bartender allows it since that’s what they payed him for.

 AlexAss tries to jump in and tell Gretchen to calm her ass down and she also makes the mistake to call her a ‘princess’  because she says that the lazy bitch sleeps all day after her drunken meth induced hang overs wear out. Gretchen starts yelling at AlexAss she gets all crazy and starts swinging at air.

 While she is going all ape shit at AlexAss for calling her a princess did ya all feel sorry for Fernando trying to diffuse the situation by dancing and getting ignored like an insignificant ass clown. WTFUCK!? Did this bitch really think that shit was gonna work?

 These bitches are drunk and their straight! That means they’re competitive and they hate each other, so they’re ready to throw down not go down like Fernando is trying to do.  

Eventually poor good hearted Fernando has to walk away and hide under the table.

Tamra puts on the evil eye hat to ward off Gretchen’s evilness and walks out to the patio area where Gretchen’s loud nails on the chalk board voice has taken over in all of her obnoxious glory. While in the patio Tamra decides she needs to confront drunken ass Naked Wasted, Gretchen, and asks her if she was calling her an evil bitch. Gretchen admits it and says FUCK YEA I WAS BITCH! 

 Gretchen’s  paid clone Shawna also turns on her and wants to stay and party and shoot the shit with Tamra .

Look at Shawna she looks like she is scared of those bitches and ready to open the door and roll while the car still moving.

Gretchen notices Shawna is missing and yells BITCH GET YERR ARRSEE IN THE LIMO WE’RE WAITING FOR YOU!!. And Shawna afraid to lose her job jumps in the limo.

 Why does Gretchen’s face look more weird and manly this season? Her eyebrows look like they touch her hairline, and her cheekbones look swollen like it is starting very slowly to morph into a Gretchen version of  Elsa! Except Gretchen is the evil witch.

While in the limo going home drunken Gretchen drags on the argument about Alexis calling her a ‘princess’. She is kicking and screaming and bitch slapping AlexAss for calling her a ‘princess’ and also her paid bitch Shawna for talking to Tamra asking her ‘what was she talking to you about?’. Gretchen sounds all  interrogatory and you can tell she is  all paranoid that Shawna is going to get stolen from her by Tamra and eventually turn on her.

 I like how during the first season when Gretchen joined the cast, Bravo tried to sell her to us as a sweetheart and a Mother Teresa for taking care of her ailing fiance that she was very much in love with. Plus I bet they were editing a lot of dark shit out about this bitch like the whole Jay Photoglou affair fiasco and probably some other shit . Gretchen was all playing that shit up for the cameras going along with Bravo. But a lot of street smart people like myself could see through her faux good girl act. This last season Gretchen must of pissed off Andy Cohen or some shit, because you could even tell her and Slade Slimey were getting in his last nerves during the Watch What Happens episode that aired after this housewives episode. So it looks like this time Bravo is letting the editing people put more and more exciting segments of the real Gretchen Rossi where they show her true asshole,  obnoxious, moves, shine for the world to see with no holds barred .

My reader Helene send me a link to  a confusing drunken video on The Dirty. Where wild  pictures of ex- Real Housewife of Orange County, Lynne Curtin’s daughters where circulating  a few months past . Maybe they’re trying to get their own show ala Jersey Shore with extra sluttiness. 

So much for the youth counselor last season. Now it seems Raquel’s little sister Alexa is following her sister’s footsteps and are trying to out-slut each other. Supposedly these girls go to raves,dress like porn whores and drink like Irish sailors on payday. Plus, who knows how much synthetic drugs are handed out at those raves they party at.

I also found some very interesting comments from people that claim to know Raquel and about an abortion she supposedly had last year. I vaguely remember there was a rumor that Raquel was preggers and her boyfriend was the baby daddy. But I thought that was a rumor that came from an unreliable source. But who knows maybe there’s some truth to it.

Here is an interesting comment from someone on The Dirty:

tom says:

ewww saggy B cups!! LMAO nasty broke sl*t!!! hopefully she never has kids! I heard she had an abortion last year!!! My friend worked at a clinic she went to for the abortion. RAVES ARE LAME!!! GHETTOOOO get some class

Yes these bitches think that they gonna go swim in the diarrhea infested sewer waters of the Real House Skanks of the  Bravo shit rivers and are gonna come out smelling like flowers .

I don’t know how Bravo does it but I guess the Bravo recruiters must have invented a radar that can spot delusional bitches that reek of desperation and fame-whoredom from a 600 feet radius.

One of these bitches Lisa VanderPump or more like VaderDump says that they can end up getting divorced to their rich husbands whether the cameras are there or not. I guess she is right with that shit except that now she is gonna have an army of asshole bloggers (HELLO!) clowning on their stupid ass, while the readers magnify their misery and point and laugh.

This other ho-bag Adrienne Maloof . Says her husband approached her to do the show. I guess he must be wanting to divorce her ass and trade her punk ass in, for a 20 year old that doesn’t look like someone surgically inserted a wooden shoe strecher in her chankla- mouth .

 I was looking at these ho’s real close and they all look pretty scary with those L.A. faces like my reader SoCal Mama observed. I noticed that too !

Of all the bitches of all the housewife franchises these bitches from Beverly Hills got to be the most scariest looking skanks that I have ever seen. These bitches have so much botox/embalming fluid, donkey piss, rat poisoning and battery acid or whatever the fuck those plastic surgeons are injecting in their scary faces and lips, and charging their sucker, dumb asses 10 grand per injection, while they lie to them and conviced them that they look good. That they make Lynne Curtin,  AlexAss Bellino and even  Joker Face look like  natural beauties . 

UNBE-FUCKEN-LIEVABLE!  I can’t believe I just gave  the Joker a complement . Armageddon must be on it’s way.  God help us all!

Here is the original article by Radaronline:

We’ll soon get a glimpse of the SoCal glitz and glamor in the new The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but as we’ve seen in past franchises, as the drama unfolds marriages can fall apart too.

But that’s all a part of reality, the leading ladies of Beverly Hills told RadarOnline.com exclusively.

“It’s reality though isn’t it?” said restaurateur and entrepreneur Lisa VanderPump who owns Villa Blanca and Sur. “That would have possibly happened if the cameras were there or not. I mean, there are so many women in this franchise now that of course some are going to get divorced or get sick, that’s just what’s going to happen naturally.”

 Former OC cast member Jeana Keough divorced her baseball star husband Matt, Catherine Ommanney of the DC series is getting a divorce, and viewers are now watching Atlanta housewife NeNe Leakes’ not-so-marital bliss.

 90210 housewife Adrienne Maloof, of the Maloof Family dynasty, said her husband actually approached her to do the show and she wasn’t worried about any curse. But said the Bravo series spotlight can make any relationship challenging.

“I think it’s a little more challenging because it gives the women their own identity,” she said, “… certain people who didn’t have their own identity possibly now have a stronger identity of their own and then the husbands begin to feel like ‘hey, I’m taking a back seat here,’ and it may cause conflict that was unexpected.”

Even more recently fans have seen The Real Housewives of Orange County star Tamra Barney’s marital meltdown take place on and off the small screen, even with her estranged Simon accusing the show of exploiting the family.

Beverly Hills’ single mom and former child actress (and Paris Hilton’s aunt!) Kim Richards talked to her kids about participating in the show and the attention it could bring just to make sure everyone was on board.

“I grew up as a child actress so for me for my kids to be on camera was simply something I wasn’t really concerned about in as much as they wanted to participate,” said Kim, whose sister Kyle will also be co-starring with her. “So we sat down as a family to discuss it…they all jumped on board…they participated as much as they wanted to, they weren’t forced to, it was their choice and how much they wanted to along the way.”

Adrienne decided to keep her kids out of the public eye and away from the camera lens.

“I did not want my children too much in front of the camera,” she said. “You may see them once or twice. They’re very young and I just didn’t feel that for me personally that they were ready for that and obviously could not make that decision. So I made the decision to have them in very little.”

Season 1 of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premieres Thursday, October 14 on Bravo.

 Yeah, we’ll see if these sorry ho’s will be singing the same bullshit tune when the Bravo curse is happening to one of them and their dynasty family names are getting clowned on and dragged through the shit river. Hope it’s worth it, for their 15 seconds of fame!

Below  is a video of  Kyle Richards and Taylor Armstrong,  talking about how their show is gonna be better and blah, blah, blah. The blonde ho’ Taylor Armstrong really , really looks like they stuck 2 shoe strechers in her mouth.Don’t look at her too long, she may give ya’ all nightmares or turn you into a stone statue with her rubberband lips and clown face.

Not to sound stuck up or anything . But  I can’t believe some of these scary bitches are only a couple years older than me and look 20 years more tore up and like they been through world war 3rd twice. I look like I’m 13 next to their scary asses! 

And here they’re supposed to be living the good, pampered, rich bitch,   spoiled- cunt  life  and I been working since I was sixteen. Go figure . But I guess money can’t buy you beauty. That’s sad. Oh, well I guess I should thank them for making me feel better about my looks. Thanks bitches!

Alexis posted this picture of her and her daughter at the Balboa Bay Club pool in Newport Beach on July 4th on her Facebook.

That’s the exclusive Balboa Bay Club pool in Newport Beach?

Cause that shit looks crowded and the grounds look rundown and  unimpressive. Looks more like the public pool at the trailer park on the first of the month when everyone gets their government check. Maybe is just the picture and Alexis being in it makes it look cheap and like she took a picture at the public swimming pool at the ghetto in Anaheim somewhere . Yeap, that’s what it is! It’s her in the picture that makes it look rundown, cheap and ghetto. Must be the 2 dollar whore in her. But at least there supposedly were a lot of eyewitnesses, witnessing their shenanigans.

These are some interesting comments I found while surfing around the net in different websites. Check out the comments on Jimbo Bellino and how he supposedly drunken flipped out at the country club the day of the pool mishap and was yelling at the lifeguards . According to some of these comments Jimbo went on an hour cursing hissy fit and after yelling at the lifeguards telling them he would get them fired he was escorted out of the country club. What an asshole! He cant say ‘thank you’ to the people that helped him gets his children out of the water.

Other interesting  comments I found were apparently written by the ex-nannies . A while back someone posted a comment on my site here that sounded like it was an ex-Nannie but I can’t find the frikking comment. If any ex-employees or ex-nannies have some dirt in these two scumbags feel free to  leave them here or email me at realfauxhousewives@yahoo.com

Check out the one were, someone says these 2 fucktards were out shopping the swap meet for their kids beds and dumb bitch was trying to cut in line pulling the ‘I’m a  fucking star’ and ‘Don’t you know who I am’ card . However the sales person  put Miss Holier Than Thou Tits on her place when she was told :Who the fuck are you? and go wait in line like everyone else. I thought these assholes were rich folk  and would be shopping at some fancy furniture store not the swap meet. Maybe their turd ass is going broke now that they don’t carrie nannies and have to shop at the swap meet.

Now, I don’t know how many of these comments may or may not be true but , they seemed pretty interesting. And when you have multiple people placing similar comments on all the sites then there must be some true to them.There is also some older comments in there too, about Jimbo being a crook. Read the one where someone is mentioning that Lauri Peterson is coming back . I also heard a rumor from an inside of an inside scoop that they may try to get rid of Alexis and replacing her with Lauri . But who knows if that’s true or not so don’t hold me to it.

Check these out:

From actual witnesses who were there:

“Alexis and her husband were talking with friends by the pool and it kinda of seemed like Alexis had forgot about her children, they walked off to take shots of tequila and just left the stroller there.”

“she has been around” doesn’t come close to truth.. she played the back nine MANY times with Newport “clients”…. went a few rounds myself; less than round at Pelican though ..lol

That restaurant they used to own on PCH was a total dive. It was like trying to eat dinner in a bar. The only way he could get anybody to go there were all his “two for one coupons”. These two are beyond trash. To the person who said that they thought the babies were never in danger of drowning…what part of kids strapped into stroller, stroller rolls into pool, parents either drunk/high/both don’t you get? I would expect this of Octo Mom but I guess she is too “low life” to be gettig wasted at The Balboa Bay Club on the 4th.

we seen her at the Balboa bay club a few weeks ago and she seriously looked like a hoochie, little short boobs galore… and she is SUPER SKINNY in person

Had a lovely run in with these two Saturday morning at the OC Swap Meet… Trying to purchase beds for their girls from Kids Alley – 6+ people waiting before them and they tried to cut in with her using the “don’t you know who I am” card. Thank god for Kathy as she said of course I know who you are but there are others ahead of you and you’ll have to wait – “but im an OCHousewife, what about the publicity?”. Again Kathy was true to her customers and preferred none above the other –
The self affected way they acted and the superiority they tried to throw at others was gross and for all they “have” on the outside, it is very apparent that they have nothing within.
I’ve never even watched the show and am thankful to still have those brain cells intact

That happens because no nannies will last them like us, working three years with them, be them bad people, envious, hypocritical, lying,believe is right that they alone are the only ones, believe God …mistreated us, insulted and cheated and never paid us enough money …the poor children who will be suffering now, we’re not to defend ourselves

I’ve heard that they’re having money problems. Alexis probably fired the nannies so that hubby can pay for the nose job she desperately needs.

As someone who has had the displeasure of working with them both, they are phony and gross, and owe me and several other people a lot of money. He is a self-absorbed classless pig who is proud of his transvestite trophy wife. She is only with him for his money, which isn’t nearly as much as they’d like everyone to believe. They never watch their own kids, so I’m sure this unfortunate accident is because they forgot they had kids. She will leave him some day for someone else.

was there neither one of them were watching the kids in the stroller. Instead of being grateaful to the lifeguard he began yelling I’ll have you fired. Her fault are you nuts, ther your kids

I was two feet away and saw the whole ridiculous incident along with countless otherpeople! They both turned their back, walked away from the stroller and it plunged in the water. Another gentleman from NZ that was at the scene pulled one child out while the husband struggled with the other. The lifegaurd and the other guy pulled the stroller out of the water.Then Jim proceeded to scream at everyone there for letting the stroller go in, blaming everyone but himself. Screaming at the lifegaurd who was present and making a scene that lasted at least an hour. Shameful and discusting.

Horrible people.

It only gets worse. Alexis and her husband blamed the lifeguard for the accident. Jim was in a cursing tizzy. Alexis was looking upset about her wet cover-up. Ironically, neither parent was holding or comforting the children minutes after it happened. Even their family members were in a state of disbelief on both the poor parenting and the inability to accept accountability.

i was there and saw it happen. the husband was at the pool bar and didnt put thebrake on the stroller. he did NOT dive in. the life guard was trying to pull the stroller up and the people in the pool were pushing it out. then he came running up cusing EVERYONE out and was escorted off property of the private club. A*SHOLE!

Check out alexisbellino.com her story is total bs. Jim did not dive in and pull both girls out. I know the man who pulled one of the girls out and he handed the child to her, she should’ve remembered that! The lifegaurd was present as well, both girls were wailing and terrified.

Everything they both have said has been inconsistent. I, along with several people saw what happened, these two had their backs turned on their children. Thank God for everyone else around. How about some gratitude and thank you’s for the people that did help! And thanks for both girls being OK.

They is VERY accurate,I was not there personally(if I was I would b telling the “version”of the story)My mom and bro were BOTH there and witnessed her being at LEAST 10-20 ft. AWAY from the stroller,and JimSlob was not even around,he was by the bar…of course where else would u be when u have little girls to look after????According to what they had told me,AlexAss and Jimbo didn’t realize the stroller was gone until it was in the water.Only then did they go after the girls.The lifeguard did rescue one of the girls and Jim,the other one(like they claim).My bro saw it from a distance,but he knows what he saw,SHE WALKED AWY FROM HER BABIES!!!!!!!!(on a slope no less)They r ungrateful peices of lying shit!!!!!I havepleaded with my mom and bro to tell the TRUE story…they just don’t want to cause trouble,but they will if asked by official from the club.More and people will come forward and they will see whats what then.I don’t condem for having an “accident”,we r human.They should not lie about it though…..

A few years back I had to spend about 4 hours around this douche. I have never met anyone as empty and joyless (at least on the outside) as he is.. He was rude, arrogant, condescending, to the people around us and even to myself. His wife on the other hand was cool and hot as hell, but she has let herself fall victim to the typical OC trapppings, which is a shame because she has way more character and charisma than he does.. Sounds like both of them may be a bit too wrapped up in themselves to keep their kids safe which is a shame.. Just my .02, if they disagree, they can afford to hire an attorney

Alexis mother lived in my home town of Hannibal. Penny is a beautiful person with avery kind personality and well respected in our community, unlike her self absorb daughter. I don’t know who Alexis was hanging out with, but it sure wasn’t anyone I know, because we dress very stylish, wear make-up, and have a little botox now and then.

This guy “donated” a Babe Ruth ball to a charity auction and received a base price with the “excess” going to the charity. This happened AFTER he was convicted. The gentleman that purchased the ball for over $1000 had it authenticated, and it was deemed 100% FAKE. Sounds like a possible “parole violation”?

sources TMZ , OC Register, Realitytea, USMagazine, and Deathby1000papercuts.

I know I talk a lot of shit about this ho’. But I am glad that her children are okay. Seriously. I would not wish the loss of a child on anyone that is a parents worst nightmare. But her and Jimblob need to learn to be humble and grateful to the lifeguards that helped them. Hopefully somewhere in her tiny brain  one of her braincells lights up and she realizes that she has to pay attention to her children.  But the way her and Jimbo act like they don’t want to take responsibility for their actions  and be grateful their kids are fine I doubt it. And that is very sad.

Earlier Radaronline reported that NeNe Leakes had attended an event in Los Angeles without her wedding ring. NeNe is also sweating rabbit turds that her now soon to be ex-husband Greg may turn on her and disclose all kinds of scandalous, shit about her stripper past:

“NeNe has admitted that it’s over between her and Greg and she was not wearing her wedding ring recently. “She is worried that Greg might go public about some of her secrets because she has admitted that she has some ‘skeletons’ in her closet.

First her boytoy and new nose and now this.It seems that all these house ho’s end up divorced. It’s the curse of the housewives.

Jezebel.com reported that all the housewives of New Jersey have had some kind of bullshit problem with money and or lawsuits. Including Teresa and Joe being slumlords that gotten sued by tenants and vendors. Click here to read the full gossip on that.

I found this little interesting piece of gossip on the Countless LuAnn. It seems that just like Joker Face she may or may not enjoy sex in public restrooms:

At New York magazine’s summer kickoff party at the Kimberly Hotel’s Upstairs rooftop bar on Tuesday night, we spied the class-obsessed “Real Housewife” and boyfriend Jacques Azoulay coming out of a one-person bathroom … together.

Umm, we don’t think a chapter in de Lesseps’ book, “Class With the Countess,” covers tandem bathroom visits.

Or maybe they were just smoking a joint in there.

And finally here is a picture of Kelly Behemoth. It seems that she got away from her circus trainer again and ran in New York  traffic wrecking havoc. This time with an unidentified balding man wearing a wig:

And here is a picture of Kelly with her cellulite:

‘Have fun with that.’

Earlier today Gretchen Rossi was ordered to pay Jay Photoglou $22,375 at  the Harbor Justice Center in Laguna Hills . When all these shenanigans started she only owed Jay 18k but since she kept beating around the bush, and ditched her court date last Thursday and  not paying the  money she owed this guy, the fees increased. Gretchen even went and released a statement yesterday saying that Jay wasn’t getting shit from her and that the money would go to the IRS because Jay owes them 30k, this way Jay Photoglou don’t get any money.

Here is the original article:

Gretchen Rossi, cast member of “The Real Housewives of Orange County,” paid a check for $22,375 Friday at Harbor Justice Center in Laguna Hills.

The cashier’s check was made out to Jay Photoglou, the law offices of Orlando Castaño, and the California Franchise Tax Board. Photoglou, 40, claims he was Rossi’s secret ex-boyfriend when she was engaged to another man, now deceased.

Rossi, 32, paid the check to cover Photoglou’s attorney’s fees. She originally owed him $18,900, but that amount increased due to filing costs, interest and additional attorney’s fees.

A judge ordered Rossi to pay the fees because an earlier civil lawsuit against Photoglou, which included a temporary restraining order, was dismissed with prejudice.

“I’m very pleased. He’s very pleased,” Castaño said about his client, Photoglou. “We got just what we wanted. We got our judgment paid.”

When asked if he was happy with Friday’s payment, Photoglou said, “Absolutely.”

And here’s an interesting tidbit: E! Online is reporting that Rossi wanted to donate the money to a children’s charity instead of paying Photoglou, but the offer was declined.

Castano said he learned that Rossi’s attorney is on the board of directors of that charity, and so “it seemed very shady.”

Rossi and her lawyer, Gregory Brown, could not be reached for comment on Friday.

By no means is the drama over. Both Rossi and Photoglou still have competing civil lawsuits against each other. Rossi’s suit alleges assault, battery, defamation (slander and libel), stalking and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

Photoglou’s suit alleges many of the same things: defamation, invasion of privacy/false light, intentional infliction of emotional distress and conversion (taking property from another).

We’ll keep you posted on future developments.

Damn! Those bastards at the Dirty have really declared war on Gretchen Rossi haven’t they? (God Bless Them!) Now there is new gossip posted about how her foundation for Lukemia and Lymphoma is bullshit and remember how she was supposed to donate the proceeds from her joke of a song she dedicated to her dead sugar pappi to this bullshit foundation.

 It appears this so called foundation does not exist. Maybe the foundation should be called The Slimey And Wretchen Meth Foundation Build On The Grave Of A Dead Sugar Pappi . Seems like everything about this Ho’ is bullshit; doesn’t surprise me at all. That Bitch don’t know when to quit!