Phaedra and her mom hang out at her kitchen and feed little baby Ayden. Phaedra tells her mother how she wishes Apollo would just get on board with the funeral home business so she can finally fulfill her fantasy of becoming the next Adams family Morticia and leave this legacy to little Ayden. Because that’s the only reason why Phaedra would want to leave her lucrative profession as a lawyer for strippers and porn stars and move to 0001 Cemetery Lane and start a funeral home. Apollo doesn’t want anything to do with this creepy funeral business. He may see people he knows there, since his current business involves scenes and situations from Too Fast Too Furious an’ all.

For some reason I thought Cynthia and her husband Bitter Peter were going to some counselors office while they wait at some place because the two of them are biting at each other (and not in a good way) but instead they are going to some dance lessons. Odd place to get into an awkward argument at. Cynthia is all pissed off at Peter for ditching her at that agency opening party she threw because Uncle Ben was too busy hanging out with some girl named Betty Crocker, from the pool party the night before. Bitter Peter tells Cynthia if she don’t like this marriage to get off the train at the next stop.

Cynthia and Bitter Peter keep bickering and airing out their dirty laundry. Suddenly some dance instructor lady comes out to teach them how to move their left feets without each other trying to lead or else they may try to continue killing each other.

Kim is bitching and complaining that baby Kroy pees on all her designer clothes (that Big Poppa more than likely bought as well as her tacky ass furniture) her daughter Kim Jr Brielle  is mouthy and doesn’t want to help her put away the Versace china (that Big Poppa bought her).

However, little Arianna is helpful and willing to make her momma happy because she knows who to suck up to so she can get Kim’s golddiging money when Kim dies that Kim earned while on her back or all fours. That little girl is smart. Brielle is acting out because she wants to test her mom and Kroy.

I feel sorry for Kroy because now he has to play dad to a spoiled kid that he hasn’t known for that long and the worst part is he jumped in this dad business right when Brielle got the teenage horns that come out of their skull when they turn 14, after the horns come out the head starts spinning and they start talking back so you need special holy water to handle that shit. Poor Kroy God be with him.

Kandi  and Lil Ronnie head to Tennessee to work on writing some country songs with her new country star friend Jo Dee Messina who moves almost all of Kandi’s songs words around to make it sound more country. But Kandi has a country voice when she sings. Kandi is all nervous that Jo Dee doesn’t like her songs, but it all ends up well when they compromise since that chick Jo Dee is pretty cool and laid back. Kandi rubs all of Jo Dee’s country music awards for good luck. Later on Lil Ronnie buys Kandi her first cowgirl hat and some boots. Kandi is now an official cowgirl.

NeNe hangs out with Marlo who is confronting NeNe about making the fugly double ass monster with Charles Grant. NeNe denies it and says she only had a drink with Charles (maybe they did bump fuglies but the two fools where so drunk they don’t remember what happened?)

NeNe says that Charles never ever saw her “Hello Kitty” and Marlo tells NeNe that the rumor of her and Charles better not come back true because Marlo is an ex-con who’s been arrested 7 times and did time for beating up a girl. NeNe’s eyes bulge out with fear and so instead of fighting with Marlo she decides to invite her to go shopping with her. Later on the two Amazonian hot messes go shopping together and they bond. I think NeNe is keeping this dangerous ex-con on her good side.

Sheree shows up at Kim’s rented mansion with yoga mats and healthy vegetable snacks. Kim whose idea of keeping her chunky ass slim is going to the doctors office to have the cottage cheese fat removed from her tights via vacuum suction system, is not happy with the idea of having to do planks on the floor on a mat because that takes effort (with an “A”) that her princess fat ass doesn’t want to have to put out because she has to conserve that energy to have Kroy plank her on the floor instead.

What Kim doesn’t understand and Sheree was trying to explain to her beast ass (the same way Phaedra tried to explain the law to Sheree previously) is that she is now married to an athlete with a tight ass who is around hot cheerleaders so homegirl needs to keep up.

Sheree also drools over Kroy while doing planks in an effort to encourage Kim to exercise. After like two planks because that’s all Kim can handle, Sheree tries to make that bitch some healthy veggie smoothies, but Kim bitches and moans that it tastes like crap even thought she ends up admitting it’s not that bad.

Kim also complains to Sheree about her difficult spoiled teenager Kim Jr whose head’s been spinning like the exorcist while she pukes green stuff on people and poor Kroy is in the middle of this mess trying to be dad. Oh well I am sure Brielle will come out of it and turn like Jacqueline’s Ashley so she’ll be fine! Kroy’s just gonna have to buy her a condo in California when she is 20 to get rid of her.

Later on that day Phaedra and her husband Apollo meet up with Willie Watkins to try and convince Apollo to be part of Phaedra’s fabulous funeral home that Phaedra will make the dead person the star of because she wants “to do funerals worth dying for,” and turn a funeral into fabulous “Events! Not just throw ‘em in the ground. Let’s throw ‘em in the ground with a bang!”. Apollo wanted to puke when he toured the embalming room (I kinda did too I have that same puke gross creeped out of dead people thing this guy has) Phaedra admits that she is into vampires. TOLD YA’ SHE IS GOTH!

Apollo thanks Willie Wonka I mean Watkins for the tour and after Willie and Phaedra share a few more creepy laughs together Apollo and Phaedra leave and Apollo says he will think about it. Meaning HELL TO THE NOOOO!!!

NeNe shows up at some chi-chi fund raiser Marlo invited her to, for some Captain Planet save the whales or something or the other thing. Anyway, NeNe meets another Viking Amazon like herself who is trying to peddle NeNe the earrings she designed inspired after the “Italian” (really NeNe?) Dalai Lama. Did y’all see “Miss Tall’s” mortified face when NeNe thought the “The spiritual leader of Tibet” was some Italian hippie dude or some shit?  And Marlo didn’t catch on to that! HA HA HA HA!!

After Elizabeth Dewberry realized the intellectual “chameleon” genius she was dealing with (that wasn’t going to buy any of the super expensive, high class, yard sale items available that day) she jumped out of the scene hoping to NOT be filmed anymore. If you’re gonna be a “Chameleon” learn some basic culture about the type of stuff these rich ass donation peddler fucktards are babbling about. Watch History Channel or something. PAY ATTENTION PLEAZZZEEE!!!!

Later on , Apollo shows up at Phaedra’s office with a bouquet of flowers and tells her he wants to discuss going into the funeral business with her. Phaedra finds a way to convince Apollo to be sucked into Phaedra’s necrophiliac vampire fantasies by appointing him the hottie that will be comforting young hot girls in mourning. Phaedra’s a freak! HA HA HA!! She will pimp her husband out she don’t give a shit, I like that bitch. With that offer Apollo decides quickly that he will be going into the funeral business with her after all. But, he is not touching no dead bodies! Somehow Phaedra found a way to make him part of her goth adventures. But failed to make him agree to touch the dead people. Looks like Phaedra has more work to do!

Next Cynthia and Uncle Ben go to real counseling (as foreshadowed earlier when they went to the dance lessons.) Bitter Peter appears to be trying to be a good husband and hear when he is wrong. Except when Cynthia yells at him to write shit down because he has old timer’s disease and can’t remember shit with his “dinosaur” brain. In the end Bitter Peter tells Cynthia he loves her and they kiss and make up. Until next fight.

On the last episode of RHOA Marlo Hampton,  straight up told a shocked NeNe Leakes that she’s been arrested a total of 7 times and went to prison for 6 months for an “altercation with another young lady.”

Well apparently the “young lady” that Marlo altercated with on that particular day committed suicide 6 years later at the age of 33 by jumping off a Florida bridge leaving a young child with no mother behind. What Marlo also forgot to mention was that, she had slashed this poor woman repeatedly in the face in a rage of jealousy resulting in disfiguring her face and the other woman almost bled to death while awaiting medical attention at the club where the two of them got into that nasty fight.

That is fucking sick I know I talk a lot of crazy shit and laugh about a lot of the clownish stunts these ho’s pull,  but slashing another person’s face until disfigurement occurs is just NOT funny. Specially when it appears that perhaps later on, that poor woman that had her face cut up had depression problems as the result of the face disfigurement and eventually the depression of constantly seeing her face slashed may of led to her  to commit suicide at a young age. Plus who knows what other mental issues she had, but I’m sure this added to her problems.

This is all very violently sad and what Marlo did is something that only a sick sociopath with jealousy issues would delight in. Marlo however, blames all this crazy behavior on her being brought up in foster care and being a product of her messed up environment because her mom was a crackhead or some shit. But still no matter how you want to spin it that’s some fucked up bad Karma shit there. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle but either way this chick still sounds scary and when she was telling NeNe  “People act like they don’t have a past. I’ve had problems in my life. I’ve had a couple of run ins with the law. I hope you don’t take it a certain kinda way and not wanna be my friend because…I been arrested 7 times…” NeNe was getting nervous. You could tell.

Because of all these shenanigans Bravo decided to not invite Marlo as a permanent nut-case in this clown-bus. At least that’s what they are saying.

Marlo also failed in getting Charles Grant to agree to be part of the charade she was going to sell us on Bravo about how her and Charles were an item.

StraightFromTheA recently got an email from the victim’s family asking Marlo not to refer to their relative as a “bitch”  because she has passed away. Supposedly Marlo had mention that she had “cut a bitch” or some other insensitive fucked up shit like that when referring to the time when she slashed the victim’s face.

Look at how Marlo smiles at the mug shot camera like she is smiling for her prom picture. That’s psychopath scary!

This is the email that the victim’s family send StraightFromTheA:

NeNe Leakes and her new man are getting serious. Looks like she found an Italian Big Poppa who is willing to put up with her crazy. Jonh Kolaj has been showering NeNe with expensive gifts and what-not and of course NeNe has been happily taking those gifts and I don’t blame the bitch one bit.

John told Wet Paint that he even gave NeNe an expensive 8 carat ring, but didn’t specify if is an engagement ring!“Absolutely, I gave her that ring! It’s 8 carats. I gave her a set of diamond earrings, too.”

Not only that, but also John was talented enough to find NeNe designer chi-chi red-soled, Louboutins shoes that fit her size 18 tranny feet and he bought her a shit load of those! “I got her a few pairs,”

John believes NeNe is awesome which makes you wonder what voodo spell she put on his crazy ass,  “Nene Leakes is a smart, amazing woman who is a dear friend of mine, and I hope she’s in my life for a very, very long time.”

When Wet Paint asked him if him and the NeNe were an official item he said “no comment” meaning they’re bumping fuglies. He also says he is an Italian immigrant who came here in 1972 after his father died, John busted his ass from a very young age to get out of “the projects” and get where he is at.

He also says he started working when he was only 9 years old! Didn’t they have child labor laws back in those days? Aaand he says he made enough money to retire his momma by 11 and open his own store by 18. Huh?!!  “I got my first pizza job at 9 years old. I had made enough for my mother to retire by the time I was 11. At 18, I opened the first Famiglia Pizza store on Amsterdam Ave in NYC.” Soooo, I didn’t know you could retire on a minimum wage Pizza job, I guess it must pay the same as if you are selling bitches and drugs!

John brags that he now has stores all over the USA and international ”Now, I have 142 stores all over the world, from Hong Kong to Hawaii.” He also credits “Jesus” for his success and insist he is not being paid to be seen with the Notorious NeNe Leakes, but is just on the show because he digs her. “I think I’m in three or four more episodes. I’m not getting paid, and I’m not interested in the fame. I just feel lucky and blessed to be spending time with NeNe.”

 Also see NeNe Leakes In Love.

John is obviously very sprung on NeNe, specially if he is buying her shoes. That’s the way to a ho’s heart!

Thanks to my readers for the links to this juicy piece of gossip.

On a recent interview by Sheree Whitfield she dishes on her dating dilemmas, apparently every single straight male in the ATL has boycotted  dating  Sheree and I’m sure her bitchy demanding demeanor had nothing to do with it. She says she has to pick up guys that perhaps live under a rock and have no televison while she is on the road  “And of course, there’s no dates in Atlanta so I have to get it in when I travel,” Sheree hasn’t found a good wallet to fuck on so far, “I haven’t found anybody special, but I do try to, you know, meet different people.”

Sheree was currently spotted with Kermit Quinn from Blackstreet and dating rumors started swirling, but Sheree shuts down those rumors and says Kermit is just a “good friend.” She also complains about how she “can’t even be seen with guys!” because the media is always assuming she is dating a guy just because she was seen with him. Also Sheree admits she has a “celebrity crush” on Kobe Bryant and in her sad little head believes he is a “great guy.”

Sheree would also like to be stranded on a desert island with her two “funny as hell” ho’ stars Kim Zolciak (so she can pull her wig when she gets island fever) and Phaedra Parks because she has a  “good head on her shoulders” and also Sheree can bitch her out about being useless (just like she criticised her lawyering skills) and not building her a mansion from sticks and twigs while they’re all playing Gilligan’s Island.

Also she is apparently bringing back from the dead her clothing line that bombed “She by Sheree got very, very expensive and I put a lot of my money into it. It is my passion, I love fashion,” and will reincarnate it as a fitness line with DVD’s to go with it. “I’m actually in talks with a couple different people on bringing it back as a fitness apparel line. She by Sheree fitness with a DVD, kinda moving into the whole health and fitness arena.”

Delusional Sheree complains when she goes on  the few pity-dates with the couple of men she paid and all they want to do is talk about the show, since she is such a big starlet an’ all. “Guys, when we go on a date – I don’t wanna talk about the show the entire date. I don’t wanna talk about those girls!” She adds “If you’re trying to date me, court me,” and she also hints that on the show she is playing some kind of a bitchier version of her fake self, “Let me know that you’re interested in me, not the girl you see on the show.”

And you know how Peter and NeNe seem to have such a cozy friendship on the show? Well according to rumors by Meditatakeout those two clowns used to bump fuglies and Cynthia has no idea ala Alexis Bellino. No one knows if this happened prior or during NeNe’s marriage to Gregg.

From Mediatakeout:

The insider, who is a former COLLEAGUE of Peter’s tells us that a few years ago Peter and NeNe used to DATE!! The insider explained, “This was BEFORE he met Cynthia. Peter was a ladies man and dated a lot of women, NeNe was one of many . . . it wasn’t serious.”

And it gets better, the insider claims that Cynthia HAS NO IDEA that Peter and NeNe have a history. The insider added, “Peter is not one of those KISS AND TELL guys, I’m sure he never told Cynthia.”

The first thing we see is Sheree berating Phaedra about how shitty the hearing went. Phaedra disagrees with Sheree and believes the hearing went well. Phaedra again tries to explain to Sheree how these law things work, but Sheree is having none of it. Because she doesn’t understand shit she decides it’s better to just blame Phaedra and bad mouth her to half the town.

Sheree insist that Phaedra was outsmarted by a dumb ass then, they start arguing over the retainer and all the hoops Phaedra’s assistant had to jump through to get that check (not to mention the kickboxing match he had to endure with She-Man.)

After bickering over the retainer Phaedra decides she’s had enough of Sheree’s ridiculousness and fires her as a client. It was done quick, clean, sniper stile; not all crazy, screaming circus style like the house skanks usually do it in situations like these. Which is surprising. Sheree is relieved because she didn’t know how the fuck she was going to fire that bitch and she is happy she gets her five thousand dollar retainer check back . When Phaedra hands over the check it bounces out the window and Sheree chases after it.

At Kim’s house she is getting ready to move to her new Barbie Dream McMansion. Kim hires Kendra who is an interior designer to clean up an paint the new house. Kim wants Kendra to complete everything in one week . Poor Kendra! Not only does she have to clean up and paint, but she also has to kick out the hobos and crackheads that were squatting at that mansion rent free. “Good luck bitch!”

Cynthia is still on her quest to bring New York to Atlanta. So, she decides to hold some artsy fartsy party for a friend. Sheree is wearing some fabulous Liberace fucked Frankenstein Horse Shoes clad in rhinestones, and I bet these fugly ass shoes costs her like nine thousand dollars I see why Bob is reluctant to handing her over any more money.

Cynthia is stoked that Marlo Hampton, the town’s number one successful golddigger (Kim apparently is number two now) is attending this classy pachanga.

Kandi continues on pestering Marlo about how she got her money. Marlo insist that she got her money from some divine deity and this is the reason she wears no panties and lets it all air out. Kandi knows Marlo doesn’t blow money, but she also knows that Marlo blows to get money. So who is she blowing? That’s what Kandi wants to know.

We are then taken to the underbelly of the ghetto and we hear gunshots, police sirens and ambulances in the background to let us know we have arrived at the location of Bar None . Inside we find Cynthia getting primped up for a photo shoot for some bullshit “power couple” thing they’re trying to sell us, that her and Bitter Peter are going to be featured in.

Cynthia lets Peter know that her invitations for Bar None are being send out at last minute before a holiday weekend and Peter mocks  Cynthia for being an airheaded ditz because there is no way the guest can get these on time unless that shit teleports.

Cynthia then, starts whining and asking Peter to send the invitations himself because she is strapped to a chair getting her hair stapled and face pasted on.

Cynthia sits there begging Bitter Peter to help her send out those invitations. Cynthia begs and begs she even offers free blow jobs and threesomes with random trannies, but Bitter Peter’s Viagra hasn’t kicked in, so bribes like that don’t work on him. Then, he laughs at Cynthia,  ignores her, walks away grabs a bucket of soapy water and yells at the bar wench on national Televison because she let some asshole smear his turd tracks on the white couch the night before. During this whole time Cynthia is sitting there yelling some shit about them being a team. Uncle Ben just ignores Cynthia and yells WHATEVER!! and scrubs the diarrhea jizz off the couch. Then he says that stupid Cynthia needs to fall on her bony ass because he has failed ninety-nine times and counting and this time he is  taking that flaky bitch with him.

NeNe clowns on Cynthia about being a floaty little model living in a dream full of dumb. I wonder if Cynthia used to be Kelly Sasquatch from New York Skank’s roommate and the dumb rubbed off? NeNe says Bitter Peter is the opposite of  Cynthia’s pampered candy-ass and likes to grab life by the balls. I wonder if she speaks from personal experience and maybe Peter grabs NeNe by the balls when they sneak off behind Cynthia’s back?

Kim, Kroy and the kids are moving in to their new rented McMansion. Kim yells at the movers and tells them they are a bunch of idiots and the movers respond by breaking her rent-to-own furniture. It’s a beautiful “clusterfuck”. Kim then reminisces on her town-home and all the random one night standers that passed throught the revolving doors that lead to the Kim-wall of shame. Even Moose NeNe signed the wall of shame.  How shameful!

Twenty two year old Bryson is cleaning up his mama NeNe’s house who is berating him for being a male slut who is wasting his youth away and needs to get his shit togueter before he has 100 kids running around and a harem of baby mamas.

Nene says that Bryson is old enough to have sex, (he does that) drink liquor, (he does that) and smoke weed (I know FOR SURE he does that!) Then, she reminds her son repeatedly to use condoms; Bryson can’t take it and is driving him nuts so he runs out of the house and avoids cleaning it.

Kandi’s manager Don Juan berates Kandi for helping talentless minute-friends who are just using her for her kindness and studio (coug, coug, Kim) Kandi says she wants to try and write Country music because deep down inside Kandi is a cowgirl.  Then, she calls some friend of hers who is a country pumpkin and they set up a play date for Nashville. When Kandi sings for her friend she sounds VERRRRYYYY COUNTRY!!

Back at Kim’s house she is carefully strapping all 57 of her freaky lice wigs in her car so they can get to her destination safely.

When Kim the girls, and the wigs drive down the highway, Kim decides to pump the silicone out of her boobs to feed baby Kroy while almost crashing into another car after she lets her younger daughter drive.

When Kim and her brood all arrive at the new house Kroy has this nervous WHAT IS THIS COSTING ME? look of dread. I notice in every episode this poor guy looks more and more doubtful and nervous like he is having second, third and fourth thoughts about permanently bumping fuglies with Kim. It’s surprising her still married her!

Cynthia is getting her makeup did, crying and afraid that her opening party will be a disaster and she won’t be seen as a good business “PEEPER” did that bitch just say that? Was she thinking about taking a “peeper” when that slipped out?  Poor Cynthia’s sister is there getting the bitch slap from Cynthia who is taking out her Bitter Peter frustrations  on her.  Then,  she tells her sister to beat it because her presence is upsetting Princess Cynthia who is having a breakdown. I bet this bitch was doing this all her life even when she was little and her mom and sisters spoiled her and put up with her shit because she was “the pretty one”.

When Cynthia and her mom arrive at the agency the place is full of people. Glad to see Bravo jumped in to save the day and hired a handfull of homeless folks, cleaned them up, dressed them like people and offered them five bucks to appear as guest in Cynthia’s party.

Phaedra and her sausage squeeze-hoochie outfit clowns on Cynthia’s modeling agency and says it’s just there to “blow bubbles” up young fat-girls asses before they have to go and get real jobs as dumpster divers and stiff-stuffers. I wonder if this is what happened to Phaedra?

Kim and Kroy arrive and Kim is afraid to see Moose I mean NeNe who may step on her and Kroy with her size 17 shoes. Sheree says that NeNe aint gonna say shit with Kroy there since Kroy is a football player and can take NeNe down. Probably.

When NeNe arrives Kim is about to shit herself. Later on NeNe starts bragging that she too used to be a model. For what? Sasquatch shoes? Kandi is obsessed with finding out where Marlo got her fortune from, and proceeds to grill her again while stalking her at the party. Marlo insist she gets her money from a magic source and stars saying something stupid about being beautiful and blah, blah, blah. Then Marlo calls Kandi a Big Momma. Yeah, Kandi is a Big Momma and she is the one wearing the strap-on too!

Finally, after beating around the hairy bush for a while, the mangy cat comes out of the bag and Marlo admits she used to date rich white sugar Big Poppas that gave her an allowance and this is how she got her money. Kim pretends to get offended that this bitch had wealthy men supporting her and says WHO DOES THAT? Well didn’t you and Marlo worked for the same pimp and shared a Big Poppa or two, maybe three? NeNe points out that everytime Marlo says “BIG POPPA!” it drives Kim CRAAAZEEEYYY. And NeNe Looooveeess it!!!

Kim freaks out because Kroy used to live under a rock without televison or internet with his eyes closed and his fingers in his ears, so her Big Poppa secret was pretty safe. But, now that she made the MISTAKE of bringing naive, unsuspecting Kroy to this party her secret is in danger of slipping out and so when shit keeps getting fuglier and the Big Poppas keep being brought up Kim grabs her wig and Kroy and heads for the nearest exit as if the building was on fire before anything else gets said. I wonder if Kroy is going to secretly watch the first few seasons?

Sheree does what Sheree always does and complains that there is no air conditioner working in that building and it smells like fart.

After Kim and Kroy made a run for it. Cynthia makes some announcement and thanks Bitter Peter, but he is nowhere to be found. Phaedra is laughing  at that shit and kissing on Apollo to rub it in Cynthia’s face that her man is there unlike Bitter Peter. For now, at least.  Bitter Peter never appears. Must of snucked off with one of the trannies from the pool party the night before after his Viagra finally kicked in.

Sheree takes her ex-husband Bob Whitfield to court to demand child support because the 113k yearly and the 775k lump sum wasn’t enough for her to pay for her Gucci’s and 20 thousand dollar purses, plus Aston Martins. How does he expect this bitch to live? Get a job? He is flipping out of his mind Sheree can’t do that. Sheree is nervous about going to court with Bob, since she knows the courts have records on the lump sum and other income he has already forked out and she knows the judge may laugh at her ass out of the courtroom AGAIN for wasting their time.

Kandi Koated Nights  is on the air with her crew and has invited Marlo Hampton and Charles Grant as guest of her radio show and to talk about “How To Hook A Baller” as well as to grind Charles about his brief one-night stand with NeNe Leakes. Charles sits there denying everything because he doesn’t want Marlo to smack him upside down his head. Charles thinks all the pathetic ho’s in the ATL put out too soon and carry themselves like “hookers” so they get treated like one. Right after that, he asks Kandi what her favorite position is,  just to see if she answers like a “hooker.” And she does.Then, he talks about how broke-bitches in the land of “pretend” are walking around in their Gucci’s and getting in a Honda Accord.

Kandi starts harassing Marlo about how she affords her expensive life style and Marlo says some shit about being blessed with a white sugar daddy who supports her ass. Kandi starts laughing her ass off out loud because she knows exactly how Marlo got her money. Marlo then tries to be clever and answer Kandi’s question with another question about how Kandi gets her money. Kandi rightfully brags that she is “talented” and by that she means real talented not lay on your back talented, like Marlo is.

Cynthia drags NeNe to shop at some God-forsaken second hand store to purchase dresses and used panties. NeNe says she ain’t putting on no nasty clothes someone else had on their armpits and crotch because the clothes may have crabs. Cynthia doesn’t care if she catches used clothes ass-lice and purchases several dresses and granny panties. Then, she starts asking NeNe if she gave fugly ass Charles some of her Hello Kitty, NeNe DENIES, DENIES, DENIES. Then she yells “WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!” Cynthia wants a lie detector test.

Kim and Kroy are taking baby Kroy home and Kim is bitching, nagging and complaining at Kroy because her “twat” hurts and he just has a “yes dear” attitude about it. Kim is lucky to find a man that puts up with her crazy. For now.

When they arrive at home, Kim’s little dog Chanel and her daughter Brielle are pissed off that the new baby is taking their spotlight. The baby poops on the bed and Chanel pees on the floor. Brielle was thinking about pooping the floor too. The only helpful mature one was little Ariana, who is excited and willing to help with her new little brother.

Sheree is modeling court clothes for Phaedra. All of her clothes are  expensive  designer labels and showcase her “donkey booty” waaay too much and this turns Freakdra on. Then, an alarm goes off and it keeps repeating real loud SECRET LESBIAN ALERT!! SECRET LESBIAN ALERT!!. Plus Sheree just bought an expensive Porshe and she wishes to drive that to the court-house to piss off the Judge, who doesn’t even make enough to buy a pimp ride like that. Phaedra tries to reasonably explain to that beast this shit she is trying to show off is just going to backfire on her “donkey booty.” But, Sheree is not listening and is willing to show up while clad in Dolce and Hermes bags that cost the same as a “Toyota Corolla”.

Kandi is meeting with a dildo making lady at the crowded Red Beaver restaurant in front of God and everybody, during the busy lunch rush hour. Dildo lady brings a box of dildos she tried herself earlier and everyone in the restaurant is watching. Then, dildo lady tells Kandi to smell the dildo that she used earlier did y’all see that guy looking at them all excited I think he wanted to join them or something.

Kim is at home bitching at everybody to not sneeze on the baby and yells at Sweetie who is playing around trying on Kim’s wigs and not washing them. Brielle gets in trouble with mom over stabbing her little sister with a spork-fork. Then, we find out the school system in Atlanta is purposelly teaching kids to misspell Effort wiht an “A.” Boring, next.

Next, we find out that Sheree was avoiding payment of the five thousand dollar retainer that she owed Phaedra.(I guess her services are not free anymore.) Dind’t Phaedra read the blogs  about this trifling ho not paying her lawyers fees? Phaedra would of taken half of Sheree’s handbag if she couldn’t produce the check.

Phaedras assistant tells Phaedra that she went looking for Sheree at the hair salon where Sheree was getting her weave done. Sheree was sitting there running her mouth gossiping away at the hair dresser about how she was getting her money from that bastard Bob.

When suddenly, Phaedra’s assistant shows up.  Sheree sees her coming the bitch yells OH SHIT!! Jumps off her seat leaving a stunned hair stylist holding a comb and a stapler, who just got abruptly interrupted by a panicked Sheree in the middle of a conversation, and was only done with the left side of her hair.

Sheree then proceeds to run through the back of the hair salon,(one side of her hair done the other side is all matted and nappy) and as she is running from Phaedra’s money collecting ho’ she pushes the chair where some old lady was sitting getting her hair did, in front of Phaedra’s assistant to cause an obstacle. Then she runs through the back of the hair salon in the alley and the bitch is running like a man running from the police all athletic and shit, like in those action movies where there is a hot pursuit, between cop and criminal.

The poor assistant can’t keep up with Sheree in those stilettos she is wearing (because you know she was) and Sheree has an extra advantage of having a third leg plus all that muscular testosterone She-Man was naturally born with doesn’t hurt. Sheree keeps running through people’s back yards, back-alley high walls, that only a man with Sheree’s athletic skills could master like a pro, and Phaedra’s poor money collecting bitch is at a disadvantage and out of breath.

Eventually Phaedra’s other employee got the five thousand dollar retainer check. But it wasn’t easy. The poor bastard had to also go on hot pursuit of Amazon super athlete Sheree all like Dog The Bounty Hunter and shit. Except Sheree made this dude chase her while leaping through buildings. Bitch was like Spiderman, all jumping from one roof to the other while Phaedra’s assistant burly kept up. When he finally caught up with her, he tackled her and they got into a boxing match. Sheree was doing good too! Hitting him like a man and when he would hit back she would taunt him and yell IS THAT ALL YOU GOT??!! PUNK BITCH!!! That bitch is scary! Finally big boy got an advantage when he got her in a Taiwanese-wresting head-lock, and Sheree was forced to give up the check. You see, that’s what happened and why big dude was all dripping buckets of sweat and exhausted.

Kim’s parents are visiting so to see baby Kroy. Then Kroy finds out that Kim’s parents are brother and sister when Kim’s dad asks baby Kroy if he squeezes one boob while sucking on the other. Kroy looks stunned you know he is having the first red flag of doubt (plus there’s more to come!) And he thinks to himself I’M FROM MONTANA AND WE DON’T EVEN DO THIS SHIT!! And you can hear banjos in the background.

And now round one of, Whitfield VS Whitfield. After spending all afternoon, picking out the right outfit and boxing gloves, Sheree and Phaedra show up at court ready to put Bob in prison. Bob however spend the evening researching and filing a petition for contempt stating Sheree looted his house out of furniture and kitchen sinks that didn’t belong to her. That’s why he didn’t have time to iron his shirt and was “looking a mess.”

Master Attorney at Law extraordinaire Phaedra  Parks looks like a deer in the headlights. BLINDSIDED!! And outsmarted by an ex-NFL player. When she walks over to Bob to get his phone number (yeah, doesn’t Sheree have that already?) Bob starts flirting with her and checking out her “donkey booty” just to make Phaedra and Sheree feel more stupid.

Then he jumps out of his seat and runs amuck through the hallways of city hall sticking his tongue out at Sheree and Phaedra like the fat-cat that just ate the twenty pound canary.

Sheree says Bob outsmarted Phaedra because he knows how to read. Not to mention that, he represented himself and showed up looking like a bum.

Sheree blames the fuckup on Phaedra; and Phaedra blames the fuckup on Sheree. I see a future bitch-slapping festival in the horizon for these two ho’s.

NeNe and Cynthia are both raising hell in NYC. Peter is nervous to let Cynthia’s hot-ageless-ass  go to New York alone because he is insecure she may hook up with her ex-boyfriend Russell Simmons, whom she later meets up with and tries to get her into a flirting marathon with his crazy ass after he tells her that Papa Smurf’s white-beard is not sexy.

Cynthia doesn’t have time for the dumb games because she is in New York to discuss business prospects, you know, just in case Bitter Peter-Papa Smurf’s Magic Jelly-Bean Bar don’t work out and she has to grab her kid and do an emergency split from his broke ass. Bitch don’t want to end up in line at the soup kitchen.

Russell tells Cynthia to stop offering free sugar-doughnuts as snacks in the waiting room at the modeling school, in order to keep away the chubby girls who delusionaly think they can be models, and start offering meth on a plate as a snack option instead, to  only lure the seven feet-tall fifty pound girls who CAN be models. Modeling is a though world.

Sheree is with her mom Thelma at that empty lot, Sheree is hoping to turn into a luxury-shack.  Thelma is the one that bought this empty lot with HER money, but Sheree wants to pretend it was her that bought it. We find out that Bob has been using Sheree’s gift cards to feed the kids when they visit him because he refuses to support his own children. I think Sheree needs to take Phaedra’s offer and drag Bob by the balls to court.

Phaedra is in court defending some thug named Dave, that was driving with extra tinting of the widows and a bag of weed. He shows up baked, wearing street clothes and reeking like reefer. Phaedra is pissed that he didn’t follow her instructions on taking a bath and putting on his good pants. The judge lets him slide with a small fine and a don’t-do-this-shit-again-or-else threat because Phaedra’s “donkey booty” knows the judge pretty well. When they all leave the courtroom Dave pays Phaedra with cash and a half blunt. She should of demanded the full bag of weed as payment plus whatever cash he had in his pocket.

NeNe is having a lunch meeting with her new “business partner”  John Kolaj who is smitten by Miss Lenethia Leake’s charms. John is the guy who owns Famous Famiglia Pizza and supposedly has lots of moneys which Miss Lenethia likes even though he is a major DOOORK. I feel sorry for any teenage kids this fool may have because I can just hear them yelling, “NOO DAD NOOO YOU’RE EMBARRASSING ME!” Because of that awkward-trying-too-hard-to-romance-meeting he had with NeNe were he  went full on Italian on NeNe and even brought some singing dude that came out of retirement because he apparently owed John a favor (meaning Johh was going to bust a cap in his old ass if he didn’t sing.)

Pobretcito, John must have some undiagnosed mental illness if he is falling for Amazon NeNe, but then again he is good to NeNe he showers her with expensive 1000 dollar shoe-gifts, Tiffany pens for the million dollar deals,  dinner and song. I say TAKE IT NENE, THAT’S THE BEST YOU CAN DO BITCH! Those Italian men, always trying to wine-dine and sixty nine a girl and NeNe fell right into it. Nice! I want to see more of their awkward interactions.

Kandi obviously made up with Mama Joyce, who is getting ready for her dating picture on Sexy Seniors.com. Kandi helps her momma out by squeezing her in a Chorizo encasing girdle that is obviously cutting off Mama Joyce’s circulation. After making her mom up to look like a “drag queen” she poses on a hot-rod. Mama Joyce is a hottie!

After a brief cigarette break, Kim is ready to go to the hospital to birth lil’ Kroy Jagger Meister Jr. The nurse asks Kim a bunch of health questions and the bitch has an asshole attitude about it because she is lying through her yellow smoker-teeth to the nurse when she tells her she is a “non-smoker” the nurse wanted to smack the dirty wig off Kim, while she was thinking BITCH, I WATCH THAT SHOW YOU ARE A CHAIN SMOKER! I thought Kim said ”chain smoker” not “non-smoker” when she answered that question. Even Kroy looks confused when he hears this heap of bullshit coming out of Kim’s mouth. The nurse then, asks Kim: ARE YOU WEARING THAT DOG WIG WHILE DELIVERING? And Kim was like YEAAHH, I’M THE KIMSTER.  She even had Sweetie carry her Poodle-hair wig with her. I mean c’mon of course she is going to wear that shit even while pushing that baby out. What did this nurse want for Kim to be bald while delivering? WTF?

All this time Kim was verbally abusing poor Kroy since thanks to him she is in this ordeal now. Poor Kroy was just looking confused and scared Kim kept complaining that he didn’t look nervous even Kim’s daughter Brielle knew he was “dying inside” but Kim wants to be an asshole. That’s alright though, I guess since she is giving birth she has every right to be an asshole and curse her ass off. When little Kroy Jr gets farted out the first things he hears are his mother’s loud cursings. Finally, little Kroy is here to raise hell and everyone is happy including Papi Kroy Sr.

And now the moment of truth! Cynthia meets with a good friend Kithe (who lost a whole person weight-wise) for a drunken evening. Kithe knows Cynthia is not happy with her new life and marriage and he actually gets a drunken Cynthia who is Queen Of Denial to admit her life in Atlanta sucks, she regrets leaving the excitement of “cunty” New York and she hates being married to Bitter Peter! But we all knew that mess already, didn’t we?

NeNe Leakes has been going on, and on, about how very rich she is, bragging to bitches about how she can buy them out with her Trump checks, “While you were running your mouth, I was running to the bank … depositing a Trump check!” NeNe barked at Sheree during the first episode when Sheree accused NeNe of being a broke bitch then she yelled “I’m rich, bitch!”

However, her one-time employer Donald Trump has no idea what the hell this delusional cow is babbling about when she calls herself “very rich.” He told Wetpaint, “Honestly, I have no idea,” he added that all she received was a small fee for her annoying loud ass making a fool of herself on his show, “All the celebrities on the show play for charity. She received a small appearance fee, sure, but that was it.”  He also said NeNe is not a shareholder or bigwig of his businesses so she must be talking out of her ass “And as far as I know, she’s not involved with any of our other business or corporations. So I’m not sure what she’s talking about.”

Maybe those “I’m Rich Bitch” T-shirts are selling by the thousands per day?

Kyle Richards threw a Christmas bash and invited her co-stars including the some of the other housewives from other franchises.

In attendance were Camille Grammer, Lisa Vanderpump,Nene Leakes, Gretchen Rossi, Dana Wilkey and even Bravo’s “Millionaire Matchmaker” star Patti Stanger  made an appearance. I don’t see Chankla Face anywhere, I wonder if she finally got in a fight with Kyle?

Enjoy these pictures:

After rumors about Sheree Whitfield being a broke ass who can’t afford to build “Chateau By Sheree” broke out, she now wrote on her blog disputing all those claims, and states that she’s never lost a house and that after her Aston Martin was repoed it was replaced by another vehicle she kept in her garage. She also made digs to Cynthia for being NeNe’s private attack-dog, and she also feels that “delirious” NeNe should pick up her rotted teeth and move her ass to Miami.

From Sheree’s Bravo blog:

The home building process requires a huge amount patience, planning, meetings, and self-control. People warned me that building a new home would be not only a huge headache but a slow detailed process, because contractors like to move at their own pace. To clear things up, Andrew is not my builder. He is someone that did some work for me in my clothing boutique years ago. We ran into each other when I began this project. I hired him to oversee the day to day progress when I am out of reach. Another story that I will go into later!

The Miami scene seemed strange to me. The house they toured was beautiful and in an ideal location. Miami is a pleasant place when the weather is nice. It would be a pleasure to have NeNe relocate there, but let’s wait and see if a purchase is made in the end. If so, I hope she remembers to put some furniture in there, art work on the walls, and books on the shelves, because she forgot to do that in the place she currently rents. NeNe made a statement that I hit below the belt. This woman is delirious. Remember, I have known her untruths, her misleading behavior, and evil ways for quite a long time and have kept them quiet. I personally would have never gone there had she not started in with me. I do agree that once you go there, you open up a whole new can of worms. I don’t think she want those worms let out. I didn’t start it, I only finished. The hateful, mean-spirited way she reacted took it way past any possibility of reconciliation in the future.

One last thing until my next blog, I have gotten a lot of comments and calls regarding our blogs. To me, the purpose of blogging is to speak on each episode and to comment on the good, the bad, and the ugly. The blogs are not for commenting on things that don’t pertain to an episode or “trying” to be hateful, spiteful, or to throw jabs about things you either are not privy to, were not around at the time, or lacking factual information about.

That brings me to Ms. Cynthia’s blog. She stated that the only thing she knows about me is that, “I lost a house, I lost a car, and I lost a man.” Well let me educate you, darling, because obviously ignorance is bliss. I have never, ever lost a house, nor was I repeatedly evicted from several houses (that was your girl). I did have a car that was paid in full seized, which probably cost the amount of your home. Please don’t get that confused with a repossession (again that was your girl). However, luckily for me, I had another car I could fall back on. Don’t you and Peter share a car? I would hate to have to drop someone off or wait for someone to be done to move forward with their day. I love my independence and my freedom to move about, thank God for my other car. Lastly, losing a man? Honey, you are too old to speak on things you have no clue about or were not even around at the time to know the truth about. Stop listening to the haters. If I received a penny every time people made a comment about you and yours, I’d be “rich” too! Now fortunately for me, I know my self-worth! I know what I deserve and what I will and will not put up with. And because of this, I left a man! Let’s get it straight. I decided to seek a divorce because I refuse to be in an unhealthy relationship. I believe in myself, my kids, and our happiness, and we deserved much better. Besides, being in an unhealthy relationship can lead to really dark eye circles, large bags, balding, and not to mention extreme low self-esteem. Honey, I don’t have time for any of that!