Because Teresa called Melissa a gold-digging tramp, that would leave her current husband, Tree’s brother, for a wealthier sugar daddy when she shakes her ass for quarters at the clubs while screaming into the microphone. Melissa confronts Tree and demands an apology that never comes from Teresa because now she is pissed that Melissa called Barney Devito’s brief stay at Club Med  ( I don’t want to say jail and offend anybody here, big ole’ eye roll) ‘JAIL’ and so these bitches manage to turn the Summer Solstice Gathering  into The Summer Solstice Gathering That Went Horribly Wrong. Only the RHONJ wild beast in 7 inch heels can ruin a purity party with fucking fairies and third eyes.

So this is how shit went down, Jacqueline shows up at Teresa’s shore shack to help her put makeup on and get ready for a boat trip. While Jacqueline is making up Tree to look like Crusty The Clown’s tranny twin, she is asking her questions about why her ass keeps going to the rag-mags and spills out all her business but, then expects her friends and family to shut the fuck up when they’re gossiping about her. When instead Teresa should of gone and spill her beans to her friends and family in the first place so, this way they can rag-mag on her ass with no pay.

Teresa explains to Jax how her comment to Psycho Midge Joey was only done with love, and to warn him that his bitch wife may leave him for a fatter bank account. Why with all of Mel’s appearances at clubs and whatnot some bigger king pin may snag that ho’ when Joey is not looking.

Soon after that, the Gorgas and Wikipedia’s show up at Teresa’s shore shack, who brought along Rosie and Kathy’s mom to watch the kids while the bitches and their husbands board a boat to get drunk and fight.

While Kathy’s mom Rosie and the teenage Wikipedia kids are watching the small children everyone is off on the boat ride. However, this time the fun is happening at the shore shack outside on the sidewalk, where the little wild Gorga/Giudice miniature beasts are running amuck on the streets and a car damn-near runs over little Audriana who Rosie has to grab in a mad dog rush and while she is grabbing Audriana, little Joey Gorga Jr  (I think it was little Joey Gorga Jr, I’m writing this from memory here) is trying to ride his bike over a moving car and all the other little monkeys are going apeshit . That’s what happens when you have a mixture of Gorga/Giudice ADD-DNA mixed with a bag of sugar per kid, it’s a deadly combination. Rosie who was suckered into watching these out-of-control mini versions of their parents (that’s scary) was thinking in her head THIS IS WHY I DON’T HAVE CHILDREN!  Noo shit! This is why I only did that shit ONCE! After that mini hurricane of crazy, poor Rosie needed a scotch a SERIOUS SCOTCH!! This is what she gets for agreeing to watch those wild beasties. But, at least there was enough wine and liquor in that house to keep her drunk for a couple of months.

On the boat ride everyone is uncomfortable and Jacqueline who likes to pretend ‘everything is fine!’ starts talking shit about how the godmother Caroline Manzo is going through menopause and this is the reason she is a bitch. I believe it! I also think Caroline was born with menopause since she is been a bitch since she was a baby. Just look at her offspring Caroline Jr, she is been going through menopause since before the show started! Is in the Manzo genes.

The awkwardness gets more awkward when, Teresa and Richie get into an argument over who deserved to get punched in the face more, Richie or Barney Devito. Midget Psycho Joey thinks Tree was brainfucked by Barney Devito the way he got brainfucked by Melissa. Then, they all force themselves to smile for a family picture.

At the Manzo compound Lauren continues to whine about how fat she is. Her momma Caroline says YES YOU ARE! And then proceeds to remind Lauren not to hate her brothers because they’re beautiful golden thin children but, it’s not their fault. Since this wasn’t enough humiliation, while Lauren and Vito are cooking dinner all the other Manzo fuckers start gang-punking on how fat Lauren and Vito are, and how lard-assy and huge their future children will be and the only advantage those children will have is they will be able to beat up on Albie and Christopher’s future thin gifted attractive children. Lauren is all sad and acknowledges that Vito only likes Shore Whores with tight butts and surfboard abs. To rub salt in that wound, like any good brother would, Albie pulls out a photo of his current girlfriend (you mean Gregg?) and tells Lauren that’s the kind of skank Vito likes. While Albie was clowning on Lauren’s fatness the godmother Caroline just laughed it off like her sons are so cute for doing that and Lauren was about to cry. Later on, when the cameras left Lauren ate a 20 lb. tub of ice cream while washing it down with her tears.

And finally all the bitches go to Jacqueline’s Summer Solstice party hosted by her psychic Tia. Psychic? I call bullshit on that, for one she hasn’t won the lottery yet, for two she couldn’t predict that inviting the embarrassing RHONJ ho’s was going to only RUIN that purity party which is why they were all required to wear white. They should of worn riot squad gear instead.

While at the party Mel decides to talk with Caroline about her favorite subject TERESA. Caroline tells Melissa that since Tree is the new Joker Face (same speech different bitch) and an asshole she is trying to destroy the family because she hates Melissa. Really? Besides Caroline what else is old?

Teresa shows up at the Solstice Party with Kim D (that bitch is still alive?) and is pissed that her brother Midget Psycho Joey has repeated to Mel the dig warning Tree gave him on that bitch being a gold-digger who will walk out on him if a richer man comes along.

The Third Eye Fairies give everyone a third eyeball, but I believe with these fucktwits that shit is blind deaf and dumb, so there’s no hope for them. Not even with a third eye.

Rosie pulls Tree to the side so nobody could hear them except the cameramen and all of the TV audience watching this craziness, and starts bringing up the bullshit about the gold-digger comment between Tree and her Midget brother. Rosie tells Teresa she just wants everyone to shut the fuck up, cut the bullshit and party, she also says she is surrounded by a bunch of stupid idiots and now she needs more liquor.

Everyone agrees that Teresa’s  true motive for that gold-digging comment is because she is a jealous bitch with a husband who has cheating issues and is projecting onto the Gorgas the current situation in her own marriage. Supposedly Midget Psycho Joey was the one who found out that Barney Devito was cheating on Teresa and he is the one who threatened Barney Devito with telling Tree all about it. Teresa ended up discovering the questionable text on Barney Devito’s phone.

Tree tries to sweep that shit under the rug because she is embarrassed and then forces Jacqueline to be on her side, or else.

Soon after that Mel and Tree get into a bitching spewage over how Midget Joey never called Tree when Barney Devito was someone’s bitch at the fabulous jail house. Tree gets all batshit crazy and offended that this bitch mentioned ‘jail’ when according to Teresa the proper term is ‘he went away,’ and so Tree turns this comment into a fight, just like Mel and Joey turned the gold-digging dig into a big ole’ fight. Shit never ends with these fucktards. After  Teresa gets horribly offended she runs out of the party all pissed off.

Mel goes back to cry to Mama Manzo and starts singing her same tired victim song “I tried,  she is nuts I don’t know what the fuck happened” and Caroline agrees with the whole thing and calls Teresa a bully. Turd meet the dingle-berry!

Kathy says that old Mafiosos use the word ‘away’ instead of jail because that’s old school Mafioso respect and understands why Teresa flipped out. But, doesn’t understand why she is using old school terminology when nowadays going to jail is like saying he went on vacation and nobody gives a shit anymore. Besides, why is this ho’ tripping all of her and her husband’s dirty chones have been airing out their stinky odors since she started appearing on this Bravo Circus; same goes for everyone else.

While Teresa is running in her hooker stilettos to her car, Jacqueline, Kim D and the socalled psychic Tia are chasing her down begging her not to leave. Tia is brave enough to grab Tree’s arm, bitch better watch out Tree has gorilla strength and may send her flying across the parking lot onto a parked car the same way she tossed Miss Andy like a rag doll during that one reunion. I wonder if maybe Tia has never watched this show and that may explain why she has balls.

After much negotiating (as if Teresa was holding hostages and the other bitches were cops) she agrees to talk to Mel under the condition that she don’t bring up Barney Devito’s vacation in Club Med.

When Mel goes out to confront Tree in the parking lot, the bitches are going back and forth and yelling at each other. So much for fairy dust, third eyes and harmony!  Melissa starts demanding an apology from Tree Beast for saying she will leave Midget Joey for a fatter wallet to suck on. Teresa says that if Joey would of just kept his big bitch mouth shut and kept the comment in confidence (but forgets how to pronounce confidence and says confidante or some stupid shit)  this shit-storm would have been avoided. It’s called stirring shit up for the cameras Tree, you done that before.

The argument goes on and on and gets louder and louder plus these bitches are waving their arms around throwing gang signs and shit like that. They argue about gifts, and their kids birthdays and about how Barney Devito throws away the gifts that Mel brings the Giudice girls and who is a bigger bitch than who. Teresa tries to leave but Mel stops her and yells ‘walk away coward like you always do!’ Then, Teresa comes back getting into full orangutan fight mode and we cut to commercials.

Okay so I’m a sick whore and was hoping these bitches where going to scratch each other’s eyes out and throw Louboutin shoes at each other using the heels as weapons all while in the glamorous parking lot where all the bitch chola fights happen with this crew. But, NOOOOO!

On display, on display, everyone is waiting for more gossip to roooll,  everyone is waiting for her shit to faaall, and it just keeps on happening. And we just keep on laughing. The blogs just keep on clowing because it’s not us that are on displaay, looking like a fool on displaay, it’s some other bitch on displaay who thinks she looks good on displaay, and it’s really is not that waay. I can go on fucking up these lyrics all daaay.

I know that was messed up, but I couldn’t help myself it was just too easy. HA HA HA!!!

Anyway, before I went into some baked-spewage about Melissa’s catchy tune. I found this little piece of gossip about this PR gay-dude named Will Love posted on All About THR, the same site that provided the interview with Melissa Gorga’s allegedly old pimp strip-club boss Angelo Vrohidis.

According to Will, he says he met and dealt with Melissa Gorga, he describes her as some sort of an evil snake with a malicious agenda to destroy Teresa Giudice and apparently also Will. He also spills out some shit about one of Melissa’s brothers-in-law possibly being closet gay or some shit. I wonder if the brother-in-law he meant was Lysa’s husband, the same Joe that confronted Barney Devito about owing him a thousand dollars?

Will states that Melissa is a stuck-up, ungrateful bitch who treated Will like a piece of trash that wasn’t worth to be at the bottom of ”Lady Gorga’s” stilettos, even though he kindly promoted her fame-whoring ass to the masses. He also defends Teresa as someone who was fucked over and bullied by Melissa and her evil sisters, but kind enough to take a picture with him for the equality campaign. And also there was soooo much behind the scenes epic-drama that went on with that whole Posche Fashion Show.

Check this shit out:

I had first met both Robyn and Melissa when I covered the 2010 POSCHE Fashion Show. After expressing interest of meeting the furtive confidant of Danielle Staub, colleagues pushed me smack in the middle of Melissa’s first photo-op. Judging by facial expressions directed at me afterwards, I do not believe Melissa was too happy. This was evident when I approached her after the fashion show: Melissa very blatantly rolled her eyes when I introduced myself. Despite her uncouth initial impression, I featured a side-by-side cover cameo of Melissa and Teresa Giudice on the cover of Out In Jersey’s December-January issue. When I messaged Melissa regarding her first cover appearance, after reading that the appearance was not a full cover, I never received a response. I guess “Lady Gorga,” as her immediate circle describes her, did not feel the exposure was important enough to warrant a reply or thank you. After all, at the time Melissa was confident that she would be signed to Universal Records – even before her meeting with the record tycoon earlier this year.

I attended a fashion gathering for one of Robyn’s clients at a lounge in Manhattan. It was my first time seeing both Melissa and Kathy since the POSCHE event. Kathy immediately greeted me with compliments on my attire during conversation, while a startled Melissa greeted me with a half-assed ”hi.” The fact that I was confident I recognized the husband of Melissa’s sister from a local North Jersey gay bar less than a week prior [his distressed facial expression when he saw me did not help] made the evening additionally awkward. Nonetheless, leave it to Kim D to bring us all together to socialize – on the runway.

After Kim D simply expressed her loyalty and friendship to Teresa on multiple occasions, Melissa became furious with Kim. The fact that Kim simultaneously parted ways with Robyn did not help matters either. In retaliation for Kim being a free thinker, Robyn and Melissa began a well thought out smear campaign. I witnessed, at least during half-a-dozen events, Robyn and her friends speak of Kim D as a “coke addict,” “drug user,” and claimed Kim would be out of business within six months. Robyn, who I previously witnessed express to Kim how her only [now former] full-time employee “is completely overpaid” and “should be grateful to have you as a boss” – was saying the opposite to the employee. Concurrently, Robyn was expressing to the employee that they should “open up a separate boutique” and was eventually triumphant at having the employee parrot the same damaging sentiments about Kim at various events and to multiple customers while still employed at POSCHE. Robyn and Melissa even went as far as to contact BRAVO weekly in hopes of persuading them to film the insignificant Fashion & Beauty Week as opposed to the annual POSCHE Fashion Show. This was due to the fact that Robyn was successful in blacklisting Kim D and Teresa Giudice from the supposed “charity” fashion event [FWB]. Therefore, if FWB were filmed over POSCHE, it would appear as though Kim and Teresa “were not wanted at an “esteemed” fashion event.”

I was honestly hurt by all of the malicious behavior, especially being as I was the professional who was used by women who – up until this day – I never spoke negatively of. I was ready to speak with Robyn about the many aforementioned issues at the 2011 POSCHE Fashion Show – except she was nowhere to be found. Melissa, however, was present – who [just like when we first met] rolled her eyes the minute she saw me.Despite the fact that all six housewives (including Kim D) were supposed to take a New Jersey Equality (NJEQ) photo – none of the women did. I even tweeted Jacqueline, as well as some of the other girls regarding the photo the following day, only to be ignored. For women who were so appalled by Joe G’s “homophobic” and “uneducated” remarks, one would think they would have responded to my inquiry. I guess after Melissa threw her hysterical fit [which led to a fan running into the NJEQ backdrop], it was much more important for Caroline to parrot that “this was all a set up” ten times over outside of Son Cubano. Kim and Teresa, who was scrutinized by Mr. Cohen during the RHONJ reunion, were the only housewives who have taken a photo for the equality campaign. The following day, after tweeting back and forth with Kim, Teresa, and Penny [who I wish I could elaborate more on but I am legally unable to] I received various hate tweets from an anonymous account. Among other sentiments, this individual wanted to make it clear that I was apparently a “whore.” After tracing the IP address, the Montville residence which showed up as sending the tweets was none other than that of Melissa and Joe Gorga. I found this to be ironic, especially since Melissa, and the friends of ten years she managed to lure away from Teresa, were implying [that same day] that Teresa was behind the apparent “anonymous eggs” they were receiving. Cover up much?

Click here to read the complete long ass post.

So what do you bitches think? Is this dude for real or is he just one of Teresa’s minions?

Powered By Vistaprint