RumorFix.com posted some gossip (they heard it from IHJZ blog)  about Cat Ommanney being considered by Bravo to be one of the Real Train Wreckages of New York. And since she has been planning to move to New York anyway and Miss Bravo Andy Cohen noticed how Cat wanted to jump out of her chair and scratch LuAnn’s eyes out for being such a wannabe wanker when the two bitches were guest on WWHL a few months back. Asking her to join would make sense.

I hope they do stick that crazy bitch in New York, I like to see her go English ghetto on LuAss. I remember that WWHL episode and all I can say is, it was BEAUTIFUL when that Cat Litter bitch lost her patience with LuAss and Miss Andy was also loving it so much that her panties were wet! Please Bravo please cast this ho’ for New York. I want to hear her tell LuAnn off in her best gutter-skank,English-ghetto,hood-rat, drunken dribble. Maybe she will even go apeshit on Jilliousy and Jelly Beans Bensimoron! That would be awesooome!

And speaking of Kelly Bensimon and mentally vulnerable people that should NOT be on reality shows  because they can have unfortunate endings (I’m not being insensitive to this, I’m just saying it can seriously get bad for some) like poor Russell did in the end. Bravo is now enforcing a psychological tests for desperate famewhores that join the show and this is to PROTECT BRAVO not the cast members (of course!). An unnamed cast member of the Real Housewives of New York told the Huffington Post:

“We all have in our contracts that Bravo can force us to take a [psychological] test,” one cast member of “The Real Housewives of New York” tells me. “To my knowledge nobody did, but moving forward any new cast members will for sure. This isn’t to protect the talent but rather to protect Bravo for the next time something horrid happens.”

It’s winter in New York  and Sonja  is wearing that hat that makes her head look like a  furry giant dildo. Ramona is with her also and she dragged her daughter Avery with her. The three of them are  shopping at some store for retired 75 year old casino prostitutes who are trying to bring back their faded glory (just like Gonzo in every episode) because once again bankrupt Gonzo who is one Bravo paycheck away from ‘shaking a can in the streets’, is throwing yet, another expensive party she really needs to throw, just  like she needs a hole in her  fat-head.

Gonzo is trying to bad influence Avery into wearing some slut lingerie and come to the party with all these crazy old bitches. Avery of course is horrified and wondering how she got suckered into coming to this store with her mother and this crazy bitch in the first place! This is child abuse unfolding in front of our eyes people! I feel for Avery!

After throwing up a little in her mouth, Avery puts her foot down and tells Gonzo that she ain’t going partying with a bunch of old bitches, who are trying to desperately  hold on to their fleeing youth and if Avery shows up, there is the danger that her beautiful young eyes may bleed to death by seeing the horror of her parents and all the party goers (who to someone Avery’s age, are are all old farts getting ready to collect social security) humping on each other because ya’ all know damn well the evening will end in an orgy and Avery may become a virgin human sacrifice, and not because they would sacrifice her, but because after her eyes bleed she would start convulsing and throwing up violently and finally exploding.

Plus, I am sure that Avery senses that showing up to something like this puta-orgy Gonzo is throwing, can make a person catch a venereal disease. Not to mention permanent diarrhea by just being there and breathing the fumes of dinosaurs trying to mate. As a matter of fact I think just watching Gonzo trying desperately be sexy gives people bleeding of the eyes and violent diarrhea (and this is just from watching this ho’ on TV) so Avery is very smart to decline Gonzo’s invitation to this Old Bitch Underwear Parading Display of Scary.

Avery  is obviously more modest and has more common sense than these two 50 year old desperate bitches that is, Sonja and her mom, who are trying to bad influence young Miss Avery.  What is  wrong with this picture?

Then they start talking to a sales person whom Ramona can’t tell if it is a man or a woman and since Ramonzon is fearful of the unknown she hides under a table thinking the tranni is gonna get her. Ramona notices that drag queen-dude looks like Sonja’s twin and Sonja even admits it!

Sonja is so in love with herself that when she sees that man, wo-man, drag -queen oorr tranni? Uuuhhh?! It doesn’t matter what he or she is, what matters is that  Gonzo is so in luuuuve with herself that when sees this sales person she is smitten by this thing of beauty that looks like her twin sister! Ramona is frightened of the salesperson and continues hiding under the table and closing her eyes hoping it will go away.

Jill is taking the train to the college her daughter Ally ran away to (and who can blame her). Ally says that she is a vegetarian that eats chicken and fish because chicken and fish count as vegetables. Jill is confused by this and decides to verify that with the waiter because waiters are licensed to answer these types of questions.

Even though Jill is a royal pain in the ass you gotta love her daughter Ally. She decides to drop a bomb on Jill, and inform her crazy mother that she is taking a class on sexual theory or some shit like that Jill asks her if she is planning on choosing a career as a ‘pornographer’. Alley tells her mom she plans to become a sex columnist, but since Jill brought up a career in pornography Alley says she is now going to become the next female porn director. God bless her! Not only did she just cause Jill to shart in her granny panties, but she is doing something good for the world. I hope Alley only cast hot men for her flicks.

Jill continues to try and control everything Ally does, she even tells this girl whom I believe is over 20 now how to dress. It’s funny how you can tell Alley has learned to deal with her mothers bullshit and just brushes her off, but knows how to piss her off with things that Jill has no control over, like becoming a ‘pornographer’. NICE!

LuAnn is teaching her daughter Victoria how to drive because the best time to teach a teenager how to drive is when it’s the middle of winter when the roads are icy and your teenager just got done smoking a bowl to calm her nerves down.

After Victoria tries to give her mom a heart attack, by going 85 on a slippery parking lot because it’s funny,  she decides to stop taunting her mother. After all, it looks like Victoria has gone on a joyride or two or maybe three before.

Ramona is meeting with her little mother Avery. Who is sick and tired of parenting  drunken ass Ramona and skirt-chasing Mario. She complains that she is left home alone with no dinner and these two dip-shits, don’t tell her, or call her, or text her to let her know  where they are at past 9:30. Ramona is getting embarrassed and kicking Avery under the table to shut up. Damn Ramona you mean you don’t even leave your kid a can opener and some Spaghettios?

Ramona tries to kiss Avery’s ass by saying something stupid about how she is going to make Avery a good breakfast when she takes her PSAT test and how she is going to prepare Avery for them. Avery informs her flaky-ass, too-drunk-to-notice, what the fuck is going on mom that she already took those test a while back and even got her test results back.  She even had to take herself to her dental appointments and buy groceries.

I guess the tests and all that other fun stuff must of happened when Ramona took off to Morocco and disappeared for weeks. Avery didn’t see her or Mario for like three weeks. Ramona forgot to tell Avery she was going to Morocco. Mario also forgot to tell Avery Ramona bailed to Morocco because he was with his twenty four year old girlfriend somewhere. I think Avery just now learned this year Ramona went to Morocco when the episode aired.

However, she is very smart, so right after she gave Ramona a lecture on being a responsible parent she reads to her drunken ass mom some paper she wrote were she kissed her mom’s ass and calls her a ‘role model’. See this way she makes sure she gets her trust funds and inheritance and whatever she has coming from her parents even though she chewed Ramona out for being a flake and absent drunken parent who leaves Avery alone for days at a time. Good move Avery! Good move! First slap her, then kiss her. This way you are sure to get that trust fund. Shit, I be doing the same dang thing too!

Sonja is hanging out with her fat buddy Chris March again whose main objective to show up was to loot her fridge and take all the government cheese Gonzo’s being hoarding. Yes Bitches! It’s come to this, first she can’t upkeep or remodel her house that’s stuck in the butt-hole of the 80′s along with Sonja’s memories of being a real socialite, next she has to clean her own toilets and do her own dishes, all while shit is crumbling around her plus the smell of dog pee adorns the air and she tries to keep up the appearances of an aristocrat by hiring  those so-called ‘interns’ that are her pretend-servants who are really just homeless run-away kids Gonzo picked up sleeping at the train station and she offered them a meal and a bed. And, we all know she’s making them sleep in her bed too.

Poor Sonja I guess marrying a rich old fart it’s not all that is cracked up to be if you’re just going to end up on the street toothless, shaking a can and harassing nice dressed people who are trying to eat their lunch on a nice  side-walk trendy Bistro  for a quarter, while trying to earn points with them as you tell them your old gold digger stories about how you used to dine with royalty and had servants at your beck and call. Hopefully Ramona will just come out of the closet and marry Sonja so she can support her with her Pinot Moonshine Wino Wine.

Gonzo is wearing her outfit  backwards (I guess that’s the first sign of Alzheimer’s) and Chris points it out, Gonzo brags that her nipples have their own zip-code. Bitch is all dazed and confused prancing around and skipping, singing some stupid shit from her days as a house bitch and says she’s going to horrify everyone with a special half-woman, half-bird burlesque performance to give people horrible nightmares of a bird with a giant cottage cheese-ass raping them with a hairy giant dildo. That’s pretty fucking horrible! But at least her hair already looks like a bird’s nest.

Ramona shows up dragging a suitcase full of Pinot Moonshine and Gonzo decided to tell her about her burlesque bird flu performance, which pretty much consists of a diarrhea trail of insults against all the other bitches.

Kelly and LuAnn are out on a date. Together. And LuAnn has to read the menu and order the drinks for Kelly because she’s illiterate.

Kelly is asking LuAnn advice on love and blah blah blah and asks LuAnn if there was ever a time she felt like a total ass. LuAss pulls a story out of her butthole about how she met Prince Harry at some king of Greece’s son’s Christening and he left her hanging when he blew her off after this dumb bitch tried to get him to kiss her hand.  I bet Cat from the RHODC is yelling at her Telly shouting something like this (but in a more ‘English’ type of way),  HE DISSED YOU I FUCKED HIM YOU BLOODIE TWAT! Yeaah, because that’s much better.

LuAnn then meets with that tool she’s been paying to do her new 1930′s style rap song. He is wearing his dark glasses like last time because he is lying to her and can’t look at her straight in the eye when he tells her she sounds ‘cool’.

Then, Jill shows up, but that bitch can lie so she doesn’t need to wear sunglasses she can easily pretend she is enjoying LuMan’s music. LuMan sounds like some old stuffy dude trying to land a rap song:”Attention: Jill bring your jewelry, Cindy bringthose crystals. Ramona bring that Pinot. Sonja, her man. Kelly, the jelly beans, Alex and Simon. And I’ll bring the diamonds.”

Jillious decides she needs to put her 50-cent in and starts giving advice on redoing the song and tells coked-out music producer tool how to do his job. As she continues irritating the shit out of everyone in the room. The ‘you’re an asshole music’ begins playing and continues as  she keeps talking.  You can tell that music producer dude wants shut-slap her ass. It’s funny shit.

The Burlesque Show Of Nightmares Starting Gonzo As The Swan That Went Wrong

Sonja shows up with Ramona and Mario who is dressed like some Villain from the  1800′s and Ramona is missing the tray of cigars and cigarettes that goes with her outfit.

Jill points out that Gonzo is a broke ass and wonders where she gets all this money to throw all these parties and lavish expensive shindigs.

Mario drools on some scary bitches teeties.  Simon shows up dressed like the 3 ring circus leader of this menopausal bitch platoon. He  has some kind of monkey-jizz on his mustache to make it stick and look like an old-timey mustache.

Poopie Lapoop is talking shit about the half naked  guy that’s wearing only suspenders (I guess he must be Brian’s date)  that’s running around the party and Ramona is drooling on him, I think she needs a bib. I guess Ramona and Mario know who they are each taking home for the evening.

Simon decides it’s time to chase Jill around and harass her into talking to him and Jill screams and runs as she pretends she is scared of Simon when he pops up behind her and Kelly while the two bitches are having a conversation.

Simon continues to chase Jill around until he finally corners her and Bawby comes to the rescue. It all ends up with Simon giving an award winning drunken performance (that doofus was super drunk that night, I could smell his hooch-breath through the TV) when he cries and tells Jill he loves her and proceeds to kiss her ass then goes into speech mode blah,blah, blah. What the fuck was he trying to secure a swingers meeting between him Alex, Jill and Bawby? I know I have a dirty mind! Jill tells Simon she forgives him but, will continue to kick him in the balls.

We get to see some skinny bitch dancing in old-timey granny panties and ends up taking off her top and shaking her pasties.  At first I thought she was topples under that! Mario is sitting there getting a boner and trying to hide it with Jill’s tiny-ity-bity little hat (because that fit the little prize) then he shoves dollar bills in the dancer’s big ass underwear and tries to take that chick  with the perky teeties home, but she turns him down and instead he ends up taking home that scary blonde chick with the huge scary tatas that have varicose veins in them.

Cindy shows up towards the end of the party wearing nothing but her underwear and big ass teeth to yell something about sucking a ‘golden cock’ or some shit.

And finally it’s time for that scary ass performance by Gonzo that’s supposed to give everyone that watches it bleeding of the eyes and permanent nightmares with diarrhea for the rest of their lives.

Gonzo has now fully changed into her dirty-bird outfit made out of chicken feathers and toilet paper.  She is also suffering from some weird ass delusional episode of still being an aristocrat and believes in her mind that there is French royalty present at this party. CUCKOO!!

While Gonzo is performing this horrendous whatchamacallit, I don’t even know what this is that she is doing, she is calling these bitches ‘snitches’ telling them to go out the door and all this crazy insulting shit. It was funny how she arranged to give a performance to insult and clown on the people that came to see it. IT WAS GENIOUS!  Jill gets all offended and says that this bitch is making fun of all of them! Wow Jill is so perceptive!

At the end of the night everyone that watched the dirty bird performance got suddenly ill with violent vomiting and diarrhea plus bleeding of the eyes. Everyone left in an ambulance. Avery was glad she didn’t show up.

Mediatakeout is reporting a rumor that NeNe Leakes who just recently choked the shit out of her grown kid for knocking up a girl is preggers herself and she don’t know who the baby daddy is. It may be Greg or that Charles Grant guy. (Thanks Uwish)

 In other news the Nanny that used to watch Cat Ommanney’s daughters while she ran around being the Prince’s booty call also gave a separate interview to Radaronline stating that Cat Litter is a racist skank who talk shit about Black people and Asians.  Monica states that Cat Litter is the equivalent to American trailer trash who ran around partying, never saw her daughters or gave a shit to, would make racist remarks about people and would sometimes forget to pay Monica at all. Here is what she told Radaronline:

“While we were shopping she often spoke about the big asses of black people and spoke bad about the black and Asian people,”

That’s interesting considering the fact that during The Real House Skanks of DC she was indirectly accused of racism.

Monica says that Cat Litter was a sorry ass excuse for a mother, who never spend any time with her daughters and partied and galloped around all over the world. While her daughters were left with the 20 year old nanny who hardly ever got paid and got yelled at by Cat Litter, on top of that:

“She was very cold with the girls and with me too… she screamed a lot,  I worked seven days a week because Cathy slept in the mornings and went out partying in the nights, She had a very disorganized life, like a teenager. I felt like a mum and that Cathy was my daughter.”

Monica says that she moved to London in 2007 from her native Spain to learn English. She answered an ad online and she says that Cat Litter wanted her to travel to England immediately, so that she would treat Monica like shit and only pay her a measley 50 bucks a week and sometimes conveniently ‘forget’ to pay Monica at all. From Radaronline :

 ”She was desperate and wanted me to travel urgently. She paid me only 50 pounds a week and sometimes forgot to pay me at all. She treated me like rubbish.”

Not only that but also Monica says Cat Litter kicked the 20 year old Monica on the street after she found a letter Monica wrote expressing her frustration working for that bitch.

 “Cathy found a letter in my room I’d written and she called me furious and told me to come home right away, When I got home she opened the front door, screamed at me and threw my clothes and all my things on the street. I was 20 years old, didn’t know anybody and she left me on the street without anything only for writing a letter that expressed my feelings. I was crying on the street and the only thing she did was scream at me to go back to my country and slammed the door.”

 WOW! What a Bitch. I bet she threatened the poor girl a lot with calling ”La Migra!” if she reported or sued Cat Litter for fucking Monica out of her paycheck. Wait a minute!!?? They’re not in California.  How come even in Europe people that speak Spanish get stuck with the crap jobs that treat them like shit? Well I sure hope Monica took a shit load of expensive shit from Cat Litter’s house as pay  before she literaly got booted out.

More trouble for Alexis Bellino’s husband Jimbo Bellino. This time his ass is getting sued by 3 different people from Orange County for fraud, deceit, wrongful foreclosure  being a lying asshole and other shit like that. Here is the original article from OC Register:

Three Laguna Beach residents are suing a husband of one of “The Real Housewives of Orange County,” alleging fraud, deceit, wrongful foreclosure, breach of written contracts and other complaints.

The suit, filed in Orange County Superior Court in April 2009, contends that James Bellino of Newport Beach – husband of Bravo TV “Housewife” Alexis Bellino – his lawyer Michael York, and California Empire Funding Corporation wrongfully foreclosed on a property at 688 S. Coast Highway, Laguna Beach, called the InVogue Hotel. The case, which in some ways mirrors Bellino’s own home loan problems, is set to go to trial on Jan. 10.

The suit states that Bellino, 48, who owns the company Private Money Immediately, and California Empire Funding Corporation, run by John Reed, lent $2.13 million to Shashi Tejpaul and Gail Duncan of Laguna Beach in a refinance loan, with an annual interest rate of 13.99 percent. Though Tejpaul and Duncan, a married couple, say they made payments, Bellino and York obtained a notice of default and election to sell.

Despite verbal and written agreements assuring Tejpaul and Duncan that they wouldn’t foreclose, Bellino and his associates proceeded with a foreclosure on the property in early 2009, the suit says. The lenders later bought the property at a foreclosure auction for $2.175 million. However, they stated on the trustee’s deed that the sale was for $800,001 cash, according to the suit.

Bellino’s lawyer York, who is also his brother-in-law, counters that Tejpaul and Duncan made misrepresentations to obtain the loan, used the money for other purposes and stopped making payments on their loan.

“All that they had to do to prevent the foreclosure was to make payments, but they did not do so,” York wrote in an e-mail.

The plaintiffs are asking for the Laguna property back; $275,000; a percentage of the sale of the property; and attorney’s fees. A third party, Abdul Hamid Risdana, who provided high-end furniture for the property, is seeking compensation for the furnishings.

Bellino and California Empire Funding Corporation have filed a separate suit, alleging fraud and asking for at least $2 million, plus interest and the cost of their suit.

Bellino is currently battling a foreclosure on his 6-bedroom, 6,400-square-foot Newport Beach home. An auction is scheduled for Jan. 10. Bellino’s company, Global Marine Inc., which holds the title to the Bellino home, filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy protection earlier this month.

“The schoolyard bully mentality of today’s banks has destroyed the hopes and dreams of millions of American homeowners,” Bellino wrote in a statement issued to friends and posted on his wife’s blog. “We are just one family doing battle with one bank over one home, but we refuse to be scared into submission.”

Wasn’t their ass just crying to everybody when they send that sob ass letter calling the bank a bully for foreclosing their shit and here he was doing the same shit to these people? Karma. I bet if Jimbo’s ass runs out of money. AlexAss is gonna divorce Jimbo’s fat ass. And is gona be back at that Hotel where she first found Jimbo turning tricks to find herself a new suga daddy. This time she better make sure she verity’s the sugar daddy is legit and not just smoke and mirrors before she hops on his shit.

Cat Ommanney still sits there and thinks about the days when her and Prince Harry were screwing and he would send limousines to pick her skanky ass up for booty calls. Now she even send her ex -nanny  to tell everyone  and to brag all about it. And the nanny went to Radaronline to dish out all the juicy details  about  Cat’s fling with the Prince.

Monica Herrero was the 20 year old young immigrant nanny from Spain who was watching Alley Cat’s children while Alley Cat went on long fuck sessions with the Prince and he would fill her head with bullshit stuff about how he was gonna take her around the world and blah blah blah. You know how men are when they want a piece of ass.  

Monica told Radaronline that Cat was separated from her husband at the time and had a boyfriend but was fucking a handfull of guys on the side including the Prince. LOVE IT! Maybe her ass should of snaged him back then and right now she would be the President of England and Bravo could of filmed it.

Here’s the original article by Radaronline:

Herrero was 20-years-old when she acted as a nanny for Ommanney and her two little girls, Ruby and Jade, in 2007, while they lived in London, England.

“While I was living with Catherine a car with a chauffeur came for her twice,” Herrero said.

“Her daughters would tell me, ‘This is the car that Prince Harry sends for mummy.’”

The single mother-of-two previously confessed details about her affair with the third in line to the throne, revealing he gave her “a long and lovely” kiss.

She said: “He was holding me off the floor, kissing me. I was absolutely speechless. I was against the wall, and he literally lifted me off the floor and gave me a lovely kiss which I was stunned by.

“It was a lovely kiss… Afterwards I didn’t say anything. I was genuinely, completely blown away.”

The ex-nanny said she took the job because she wanted to move from her native Spain to London so she could improve her English.

Herrero said Ommanney was separated from her husband, who lived in Menorca at the time, and although she had a boyfriend she would regularly brag about flirting and making out with other men, including the Prince.

“Catherine told me that one time that she kissed Prince Harry in a bathroom,” Herrero said.

“She told me she met him because she doing interior design for him, even though I never saw her doing any work.”

Herrero told RadarOnline.com she never thought much about Ommanney’s rendezvous with Prince Harry because “she was my boss, not my friend.”

Ommanney moved to the U.S. in the summer of 2008 when she married Charles Ommanney, a prize-winning photojournalist with Newsweek, after a brief romance.

The pair are currently going through a divorce.