YOU’RE IN HIGH SCHOOL AND WHILE YOU’RE IN HIGH SCHOOL I’M IN BROOKLYN!

On part 1  Alex was asked about going Brooklyn on Jills ass. We get to see the scenes of Alex delivering the ‘messague’, break out in hives and rip Jill’s face off. Alex explains that she got sick of putting up with Jill’s abuse and looking down on her for 3 years.

 Alex expresses that she always felt like tearing Jill a new asshole, but held back because she wanted to feel accepted by the fabulous circle of shit heads she wanted so badly to be part of .So she was forced to be a kiss ass, but finally she got tired of kissing ass and said ‘FUCK IT!’ So she ended up having to let her hidden ‘balls’ come out and tear those stuck up bitches a new one.

Alex flips off LuAnn and before you know it LuAnn starts her shit with Alex, about how Alex jumped in the middle of the Bethenny and Jill wars when it was none of her fucking business. Those 2 bitches are bickering at each other . Alex jumps on  ‘dumb drag queen’ LuAnn and tells that ho’ bag  she is a hypocrite and that she was getting involved too so shut the fuck up.

 LuAnn starts shushing Alex and calls her ‘dahling‘ Alex and Ramona then look at each other and say : what is that dumb drag queen doing? Alex then says she is happy she went Brooklyn on Jill’s ass and says she will do it again too, with the exception that this time she will deliver her own message and not use Bethenny’s message, but would still punch Jill in the mouth the same way she did the first time.

 Jill calls Alex  a ‘coward’ for not delivering her own message to Jill . Jill says that she is not friends with Alex anyways, so she don’t give a rats ass that Alex went ape shit on her.

  All of the sudden Sasquatch tells Alex to cross her legs. Because Sasquatch is the decency police!

Alex tells Jill that she was trying to be cool with Jill and talk to her and shoot the shit, but Jill is such an entitled stup up asshole, that doesn’t want to allow other people whom she feels are below her to be part of the fabulous circle of assholes she runs with. So Alex decided all that useless Jill ass kissing was exhausting and it was easier and more fun to just monkey punch Jill in the nuts.

Jill keeps saying ‘WE’RE NOT FRIENDS!..I NEVER CALLEWD YOU MY FRIEND!’  BITCH YOU’RE A FUCKING PEASANT  WAGE SLAVE!! WE’RE NOT FRIENDS SO FUCK YOU!.

Then Jill throws LuAnn under the bus and says that LuAss was the one talking about Alex’s crazy ass kids, crawling up peoples legs. LuAnn looks at Jill and says OH NO SHE DIND’T!

 Alex tells Jill that she is a backstabbing 2 faced lying bitch, whose being bulliying her for 3 years, telling Alex how to live her life the way Jill sees fit. Alex continues by letting Jill have it some more and says to Jill , bitch you fight dirty you go to gossip columns you plant bullshit stories you’re jealous of everybody, you try to get people not to film with other people! Jill’s fangs come out and hisses at Alex ‘Just because you say it it doesn’t make it true’ .Damn! did you see that? That’s Jill being defensive because SHE KNOWS IT’S TRUE!

 Alex gets asked by Andy why she forgave Ramona and Bethenny when they were also rude and Bethenny called Simon ‘revolting’ but Alex says its because once she smacked them around a little bit, they were cool. And never said anything bad about Alex or gay ass Simon again. Jill keeps reminding Alex they’re not friends and that Alex was ‘channeling the devil’ during fashion week and she is ugly. Then she gives Alex a fake ass apology.

Then Andy says what’s with the hives bitch? Alex says its because she desperately needs a tan.Pobrecita! And then Andy asked why Simom is a bloated fat ass  this year and Alex says it’s because he quit smocking crack. Then Alex proudly says he will starts smocking crack again soon and be in speedoes next year ! Andy gets all excited and says that we all have something to look forward to specially him! EEEEWWW!!!  Someone needs to tell Simon not to wear those speedos for American TV he needs to wear the baggy gangsta shorts like a decent person none of that European up your ass thong  shit on my TV . PLEASE!

‘THE RAMONA COASTER!’

Then it’s Ramona’s turn and of course they show the Ramona coaster clips of all her crazy shenanigans all the way down to the wedding renewal. Andy tells Ramona that she smacked everyone with a 2 by 4. Andy reads an email to Ramona about how she didn’t renew shit and she is still a crazy rude bitch who likes to spit on people  .

Ramona insist that she changed. Alex says people shouldn’t expect Ramona to change and suddenly just be ‘mellow’ and this is Ramona we’re talking about its pretty good for Ramona the changes she made.

 Then Ramona tells LuAss her ridiculous one shoulder Wilma Flintstone dress is a ugly cheap whore getup.

 Another email for Ramona this one asking Ramona if she had plastic surgery . Ramona says she doesn’t remember how old she  is and she didn’t have plastic surgery.Andy asks Ramona what injectables she had and she in turn ask Andy what injectables he’s had and he says ‘none’. I guess no one wants to admit the work they’ve had.

 Then of course Ramona gets called crazy eyes and reminded of her scary crazy  eye- cat walk on the runway were she was ‘channeling the devil’. And you can tell Ramona doesn’t like getting teased over her eyes, because she gets all crazy eyes and attitudy on Andy .

 Then Ramona gets asked about flirting with that old fart from ‘Hooters’ and Kelly starts preaching to Ramona because St. Kelly doesn’t do  indiscretions like that, unless it involves spreading her huge hairy Sasquatch legs naked for Playboy for a couple bucks.

 Ramona says she likes to kiss and grind on everyone and Mario was cool with it because he was with his girlfriend at the time anyways, so it’s all good. Then Alex says that Ramona made out with all of the other bitches while on vacation.  

Jill then gets asked for  being a total  insane bitch at the Ramona , ’Tru Renewal’ party, were she  took  revenge on Ramona for ruining her Kodak moment. We get another fake apology from Jill.

And back to Ramona for punching Beth in the face at the Brooklyn bridge. Ramona starts to apologize to Bethenny for being an asshole. But Kelly gets jealous because this is not about her . So in order to make it about herself, Kelly starts to  psycho hostile, attack Ramona and calls herself stupid while punching herself in the head repeating ‘Stupid Kelly! Stupid Kelly!’ (That’s because Kelly knows she is stupid and this is her way of acknowledging it !)

Then Bethenny gets asked about her happy life now that she won the lotto and getting everything  she wanted like Jason, and a  baby. Well you bitches know already. We see the clips of Bethenny and all the good stuff thats being happening to her. And they show the clips of Beth and her hot man. Bethenny says Jason is a good player who is not Facebooking  or Tweeting or Twaating and it is what is is. Bethenny says she  is happy with her new baby and husband and starts crying.

 And of course they dont’ show Kellys face. I bet she was grinding her teeth in jealousy. Bethenny is back to being the skinny girl again in less than a couple weeks, after farting out that baby. Beth says she only gained 35 lbs. She is kinda like a skeleton with huge boobies. Bethenny gets addressed about the  ‘media whore’ accusations . Beth says she is not a ‘media whore’, but she will use the press to make that green. Good for that bitch.

Then Kelly gets asked why she called Bethenny a ‘media whore’  and accused Bethenny of putting her bussiness out there. Kelly keeps pointing fingers at Bethenny and accusing her of putting her business out there of course, Kelly is a crazy delusional lying bitch and we all know that. When Bethenny asks Sasquatch if she can provide proof  and name publications that Bethenny talked shit to about Kelly, stupid ass Sasquatch Kelly cannot even pull a bullshit lie out of her butthole if it was to save her life and at least come up with a bunk publication name and stupid Kelly she gets caught in a lie and she knows it. So she starts to  scramble up a lie but fails miserably at it so she just starts attacking Bethenny by acting dumb. What a MORON!  

Sasquatch ass Kelly,  keeps going on and on saying she is not going to answer Bethenny and starts sweating because she knows she is lying and tries to change the argument to something else  by saying ‘What are you doing right now?!’  And Bethenny answers like a normal person “I’m responding to something that you’ve said!’

 By this time Kelly was able to come up with half a lie and starts saying some shit about ‘the people that worked for Bethenny planting lies about Sasquatch’s family in the press. Alex says to Kelly‘I never read anything about you’re family in the press!’ I don’t think anybody did either.

 Kelly just keeps sinking deeper in her self made bullshit hole and drowning in it! I was embarrased for this idiot!  Then she starts with Alex and tells her ‘Alex Mccord don’t ever put words in my mouth’ and Alex says I didn’t you asshole! We’re done! Andy shuts this conversation down because of course that beast is crazy and Andy knows they getting nowhere.

 Then the peeing moment. Andy asks Bethenny were she draws the line on what is being shown on TV because this season we’ve seen Beth sitting on the crapper peeing on a stick.

 Bethenny says when she starts fucking Jason on camera then arrange an intervention.Horny Countless LuAnn says’ Thats a new show dahling!’And gets all exicted because she wants to see Jason nakid too. I wonder what Jason thinks of the peeing scene. Bethenny was like whatves I don’t care that I peed on TV . I think she should of close the door. No shit!

Kelly says she needed to be the director during that scene.

Some other email calls Kelly a fly and says that Bethenny used an AK 47 to take that fly out. LuAnn was laughing at Kelly for being crazy and a retard whore and you could tell Kelly wasnt liking that shit cause she was looking down all sad when LuAnn was calling her stupid and pointing out the fact that Kelly has mental problems. Insert sad music here for Kelly Bensimoron Sasquatch.

Ramona got hot in her crotch I think she is having a hot flash or she is farting a wet, smelly, hot one.

Then of course the on going Vietnam war between Jill and Beth gets discussed . Starting of course with Bitch ‘Get a hobby!’And we see the clips of Jill running away from Bethenny, when she was trying to make up with her and Bethenny is painfully watching this shit about to cry.

Jill is acting as if she cares.  You can see during the clips that at first Jill didn’t want to talk to Bethenny anymore, but once Bethenny gets engaged  is when Jill’s attitude starts to morph and suddenly Jill, wanted  to make up with Bethenny and be friends again. By that time Bethenny didn’t want to talk to Jill anymore. Then we see Jill crying and saying she thinks Beth should forgive her.

  Jill and her hooker green stilettos,  look like she bought them at the Leprechaurn whore store. Jill says the power of the evil Satan cameras made her say the evil poison that spewed out of her mouth then she apologizes to Bethenny, (and pretended like she really meant it!) cries some more cocodrile tears  and calls herself a ‘New York Bitch’.

 Jill says she stayed away from Bethenny to not stress her out because Bethenny was preggers before. Beth says what happens was they were friends and Beth tells Jill the fame and famewhoring took over Jill. Jill turned into a crazy bitch.

Jill gets reminded that she is a bitch who counts everyting and rubs shit in your face. Jill gets called out on being the bitch that gives you a bagel and then talks about it for weeks to everybody on megaspeaker. Bethenny reminds Jill how she said ‘we are done!’ and also how she tried to  get people to not film with Beth.

 Then they all started taking over each other. LuAnn says they all try to sabotage filming with each other, like a pit of snakes. Alex tells Jill she is a bitch and reminds her she emailed Simon telling him to not film with Bethenny. She also confronts Jill on trying to ‘cut Bethenny out of housewives’.

Jill was getting scrambly and nervous trying to come up with good excuse-lies to justify her actions and asks Alex to show her the email.Alex tells her she is not crazy like Jill, keeping emails for 17 months.

 Jill tries to say she didn’t want to make up with Beth on camera  but off camera meaning she was pushing that drama.

Jill then tries to spew out another excuse and says that, she just didn’t want to make up with Beth because it was too early in the morning or some stupid shit like that. They bickered back and forth for like 20 min. Bethenny tells Jill she is a hypocrite ho’.

Bethenny says she herself did change but Jill is still a Bitch. Beth doesn’t believe that Jill has changed even thought Jill is now trying to pretend to change her tune. Bethenny says that  Jason didn’t like Jill much since the day he met her because Jill can be a snotty materialistic Bitch.

 Jill turns on the water works and starts crying and leaves with her green Leprechaurn whore-stilettos on. Kelly starts her shit because her meth kicks in and says that the fame is embarrassing or some shit . That bitch of course doesn’t make sense.

Part 2

Jill comes back or else they would of fire her ass. Andy looks at Bethenny and reminds Bethenny of the comment she made about Jill when she said that ‘the tides are  turning on Jill and that’s the reason why were having this conversation’ . Beth says that Jill always wants people to like her.

 Alex says that Jill doesn’t give a rats ass about the friendship with Bethenny going to shit  .  Alex says that Jill is only apologetic because she only cares that she looked like an asshole to the public and now everyone hates her. Because everyone now knows how she really is . Bethenny confronts Jill about how she only wanted to make up with Beth to look like a good person after  Jill heard that Beth got engaged and then pregnant .

Andy asks Bethenny why she wasn’t ready to make up with Jill when Jill was ready to make up with her. Bethenny answers  that it was because she was preggers and stressed out from all the bullshit  and had some blood clot. (I bet the stress that Bigfoot caused her in scary island contributed to her being sick while preggers). Then more bickering and talking over each other went on.

Andy says that Simon told him that Jill is a jelaous bitch and hates it when other people get more fame for their famewhoring and Jill hates it that Bethenny got her own show.

 Jill of course denies it and tries to kiss Bethennys ass. Jill says she is supportive and Simon is a lying shit-head who wears dresses. Then she goes on a spewage bullshit about how she  is supportive of every single one of the other bitches and mentions all their names even Ramona, but except Alex (notice how she never mentions Alex and look at Alex she is looking at Jill like she is channeling the devil like Sasquatch would say).

Ramona says that’s bullshit and that Jill called her up when Beth got her show and told her to not talk to Beth or film with her. Jill gets all pissed at Ramona and yells ‘YOU ARE SUCH A LIAR! ’ denies, denies, denies!

 Jill keeps apologizing to Bethenny. Kelly is pissed Bethenny didn’t want her in the show, because they don’t really know each other.UH?! Stupid bigfoot. 

Jill says she was shocked that Bethenny’s dad died. Then blames Alex for not telling her that Bethenny’s dad was dying then. They all talk over each other and Andy has to referee their asses.

Alex yells at Jill and tells that bitch she is a liar because Alex did tell Jill about Beth’s dad situation  and yells at her for not calling Bethenny.Kelly keeps trying to suck up to Jill but nobody listens. Alex yells at Jill and says, Bitch it was online you moron!

Andy brings up that Jill played the cancer card and she holds on to voice mail  messages for ever, like a weirdoe.

More arguing goes on and Jill says that they were  issues that where edited out.Bethenny says lets just murder Jill . Another email gets read were another reader rags on Jill and her showing her true colors. Jill can’t take it anymore because she knows it’s true and  tries to get up and leave again while crying because she got called out on all her shit and knows she is wrong.

Even Sonja came out and of course the only questions that they asked was ‘how many times you’re getting laid in a week come on Sonja!’. Sonja says she is worried about Sasquatch not getting laid enough. Kelly says she never had a one night stand but spreading her legs for Playboy for everyone and their grandpapi to see it’s okay.

Sonja Gonzo continues her talks about how much she likes sex and admits she is a hooker because she has a lot of satisfied ‘customers’. I KNEW IT! Sonja also admits she was a waitress at some puterio and thats how she met her suga papi.Then they went on talking about the settlement that Sonja got after divorcing her sugar grandpapi and I don’t really care about that so lets just move on.

 Jill admited that the one liners dind’t work for her this season and she is giving the throne back to Bethenny. Alex realizes that this is the phrase that Kelly used when she insulted her at scary island and told her she was channeling the devil. I think Alex should channel the devil to monkey punch bigfoot in he mouth.

Then Bethenny calls LuAnn a dumb drag queen that grew a penis after her husband left herass.Bethenny says that Countless was a bitch ‘drag queen’ and Bethenny bullied and nailed her silly ass but after that,  they were cool again.I can’t believe LuAnn was laughing about Bethenny calling her ass a ‘drag queen’. Maybe there’s a glimpse of hope for that Bitch.

Andy asked the ho’s if they are aware that when they’re in public ripping each others face off  there is people around. Methinks is the ghetto in each of these bitches that never left them so they are immune to public embarrassment. Even though LuAnn tries to say she is embarrassed but we all know that’s bullshit.

LuAnn says she likes to kiss and Sonja tries to turn Andy straight.

 The meltdown with Kelly gets discussed and Kelly scary island clips are shown of her bulldozing every body’s vacation and of her accusing Bethenny of trying to kill her. Of course Kelly is not admitting shit.

Bitch is sitting there saying I never said that that’s not me. Did you see Andy’s terrified look on his face? and of course Kelly says she was a victim of systematic bullying and bitch kept on and on accusing everybody else of bullying her when all the bullying was being done by her crazy ass.

Never did this retarded cunt, ever admit that she was the crazy one who shit all over that vacation and the one who attacked the other women , while snorting line after line of meth . Kelly kept  rambling on her insanity spewage, Ramona said this stupid whore doesn’t make sense and she just wants to jump on Kelly and punch her in the throat. I’m sure at this point even Andy feels that way.

Kelly keeps saying she had no break down but break through. Andy just looks at her like ,are you serious bitch?. Ramona is gonna bust a vein through her asshole because she can’t take the crazyness from this dumb broad anymore.

 Kelly pulls another lie out of her hairy Bigfoot ass and says that the producers had to have  an intervention, of camera with Bethenny, which obviously never happened. Bethenny calls her ‘delusional’ And she is .Is this bitch so strung out on drugs and delusional she is actually believing this shit? Kelly sits there making up bullshit stories she continues to  ramble things that never took place and everyone is looking at her in disgust, confusion and horror .

Kelly says she is a scarecrow and a stupid idiot then her dumb ass throws another bullshit lie up in the air hoping it it will stick,by saying  that she was ‘forced’ at gun point to go on this trip by Bravo and Andy tells her THAT’S BULLSHIT BITCH! But of course there is no arguing with  a crazy demented Sasquatch bitch  who suffers from schizoprenia  and a serious case of asshole  . Kelly  answers Andy with her dialeted meth pupils and says all in a psychotic tone ‘yes they did everyone knows that they forced me Andy , Bravo forced me!’

 You could tell Andy and Ramona wanted to get up and knock that bitch the fuck out.  And of course  stupid ass LuAnn tries to defends Kelly but eventually even she admits Kelly  instigated alot of the shit, because it is so OBVIOUS!  Kelly kept saying it was disgusting and says’ I was embarrased’ Bethenny tells her ,‘you should be embarrased’ bitch. But of course Sasquatch is not embarrased for herself  like she should be . I am embarrassed for her. No, seriously I was.

It’s funny how Kelly says ,’ it was disgusting’ and ‘the most vile situation I’ve ever been in my entire life’  and blah blah blah. It’s so hilarious in an ironic demented way how she describes herself to a ‘T” when she is saying it was ‘disgusting’ and ’vile’but then twistes it and says, it was the other bitches being disgusting and vile. What a weirdoe! The other Bitches told her ass she was crazy and should go to the loony bin so that’s when it was her turn to throw a fit  and decides to get up, leave and take her mentally unstable ass  to got snort more meth.

“She just makes up whatever she wants to say. She’s going to tell me she’s an African American Asian woman in a minute. And we’re like okay, no, you’re not.”

Part 3

After Bethenny says that Kelly is a crazy mentally ill ho’ and next she is gonna say that she is an Asian African American woman who  just makes up anything she wants and acts like  the meltdown she had in scary island never happened, which is dangerous. All the bitches kept bringing up how this ho was picking fights and Bethenny says that Kelly was kicked out of scary island, ‘escorted by a producer’ .(It took 7 guys in yellow jackets with nets to trap her crazy ass  before they threw her in the van headed for the loony bin) 

Kelly reminds me of the loser turds they show on that show ‘Intervention’. Yep, that’s they show that Kelly should be on. All the other bitches  Ramona, Beth, Sonja and Alex are talking about how Kelly was crazy and mental, bullying people and pissing on peoples food. Sonja says that after the crazy bitch left they were all happy.  Kelly suddenly comes back. Did ya’ all noticed how that bitch was licking her lips like a crackhead when she came back? UHHMMM?!!

Kelly  is being all attitudy like always then she starts her shit with Bethenny again. Sonja mentions that Bethenny was not picking fights with the beast she was minding her own business cooking for everyone while on vacay. But Kelly has to start throwing her meth induced attacks and says ‘She wasn’t cooking the chef was cooking for her‘ ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?! SHE ATE THE FOOD SHE SAW BETHENNY COOKING?!

Kelly obviously doesn’t like that the other bitches are all calling her out on her psychotic episode which she pretends never happened.

Ramona reminds Kelly  bitch’ you told me you don’t have feelings’ yeah, I guess Kelly told Ramona that throught her marriage she had no feelings. UHH? Then Kelly calls Ramona  a drunk . Kelly says that the other bitches should apologize to her because she is Kelly. But then Ramona tells her she should apologize for ruining their vacation. I agree but to Sasquatch that doesn’t mean shit because she is an asshole.

 Andy asked Kelly if she recovered from her mental breakdown she answers ‘recover from what?’   The other ho’s and Andy are giving each other some confused, horrified looks.See this bitch is in so much denial she needs to be in a insane asylum for the criminally insane and please put Joker Face in there with her and Bravo can film them. ( I better shut up before I give those bastards ideas) Andy asks her again if she went coo coo ca too but Kelly continues to act like nothing happened with her whole going ape shit  spectacle  she so psychotically displayed at the vacation. I bet  she’s  flipped out like this before,  that’s why it don’t face her that everybody is telling her that she is crazy to her face.

 And why does Kelly asks those bitches if they’re jealous ? Jealous of what? That she has a pinga between her hairy legs? I don’t get it ? What are they supposed to be jealous of? Embarrassed for Kelly maybe, jealous I don’t think so.

Andy brings up how  once Kelly was escorted out of the island by the men with nets Jill had to show up to put a final turd on top of their already ruined vacation. And of course the clips are played so these bitches relieve the nightmare.

Sonja Gonzo says they threw  a friend out and she deserved it because bitch didn’t call and that was rude. Sonja also says that Jill could of made up with Bethenny in New York instead of flying out there stirring more drama.

Jill says she went because Ramona had insisted she go to that vacay with her.

Ramona asks Jill why did she not meet Sasquatch ass Kelly at the airport after she went ape shit to make sure she gets to the loony bin safe but Jill says that Kelly was chained and shackled safely in a cage and she also doesn’t  give a rats ass  about Kelly anyways. Plus Jill also denies Kelly’s obvious and various mental diseases fueled by meth.

Jill then looks at Ramona and yells , and by the way thanks a lot bitch, for not letting me and Bobby use your shitter after a 9 hour flight! Then a screamin match between Ramona and Jill .

Jill blames Alex for getting kicked out of the pedicure party .Jill is going full throttle after this bitch now.

Kelly accuses Alex of ‘acting’ because Kelly thinks other people do the same shit she does, all the time.Kelly kept instigating more shit I think the roids are kicking in about here. Bitch is like a ranging bull, but keeps saying she was bullied . Yeah this is coming from this shemale that beat up her own boyfriend with her manly fists. This bitch is embarrassing and she just keeps embarrassing herself . But she doesn’t realize this shit.

Andy then picks on LuAss the Countless. Andy brings up the short lesbian Courtney and LuAnn makes a lame ass excuse for not kissing him. Bitch tries to say it was because she wasn’t ready to kiss him .LuAnn doesn’t admit the short lesbian breath rieked like the inside of a coffin that was just dug up from the grave. Andy asks LuAnn about the current boyfriend Jac the french guy who is also Jewish and asks LuAnn  if the Count is racist asshole against Jewish people. LuAnn tries to say it was some other lame excuse that had to do with her but no one was buying it. 

Did you all notice how when Andy asked her if she fucked around on the Count she says I don’t have to answer shit bitch. In other words yes I did it ain’t none your bussines. See easy. Ramona tells LuAnn bitch you just admited it by saying that dumbass!  We discovered that LuAnn’s title wil be striped once she remarries. LuAnn says she deserves at least her courtesy title.

 Andy said that Courtney got emails for being a short stinky lesbian.  LuAnn says that right now, she is still fucking him in addition to new  boy toy Jac .And LuAnn makes Jac and Courtney play tennis matches against each other and whoever wins gets to fuck her.NICE! Andy tells LuAnn that Kim Zolciak said that LuAnns song sucked ass and LuAnn answers, fuck that bitch Kim!

Then a trip to Kelly land again Andy questions her about her contradictions of being a prude but then being naked on Playboy. This bitch seriously defends being on Playboy to give her daughters self steem. EUUKKAAAYY THEN!

 When Alex got asked about the pictures she took naked and how there was a double standard between hers and Kellys Playboy pictures Jill jumps in and says that the scary Alex pictures can’t be compared to Kellys. Because Alex pictures where creepy and taken at Simons hotel hallway. Jill made sure she repeated this to get Simon fired from the hotel because she hates people who are not rich like her and she never changed she is the same bitch she is always being.

In the end nothing really got resolved with all these ho’sand it was a very loong3 part reunion. However I didn’t expect anything to get resolved especially with Sasquatch Kelly in the mix. Andy should of had the loony bin squad phone number on speed dial just in case he needed to call them during the reunion . Bravo really needs to stop exploiting this mentally ill beast.

 Bravo is the new version of the of the traveling circus freak shows, that used to exploit people back in the day for being deformed freaks and Andy is the ring master. We’ll see what happens next season and if they bring Sasquatch back or will they be filming her from the insane asylum? Untill next season bitches.

Ramona is setting up the location of her wedding renewal at a place called ‘The Pierre’ and it kinda looks like the entrance at the  Haunted Mansion at Disneyland. That painting of the woman on the wall looked like the eyes were following the camera. But if it makes Crazy eyes Romaine Lettuce happy then whatves.  The wedding coordinator Roberta, asks Ramona how many people will be present Ramona says it’s gonna be a private affair with only 50 people and a crew of 18 cameramen plus everybody and their momma in the whole nation that owns a TV is also watching .

Jill and Bethenny met for a final try at reconciliation at a place called Le Cirque.

Jill says that she asked Bethenny to lunch because this fight is gone on too long  and also because Jill needs to be in control of these ho’s and now she needs to be there up Bethenny’s ass to control what’s going on, with Bethenny the new baby and new huuusband.

Jill begs Bethenny and apologizes for shutting her out all those 57 times and tells Bethenny she should forgive her. Jill also says to Bethenny ‘I don’t gossip about you ‘Yeah right! And I know Bethenny is thinking the same thing. Then Jill continues with her long spewage about how she feels bad in her participation in being a royal spoil bitch and how she just wanted to make Bethenny beg some more to reconcile but it backfired on her, BAW WA WA WA!!! Bethenny tells Jill see this bitch? This is the smallest violin in the world playing a sad sad song for you!

Jill continues her crying and while on her camera interview she cries and cries and says that there is no reason for Bethenny to cut her out . No reason at all. Except that she kept shutting the door on Bethenny’s face all those 50 times and when Bethenny finally got tired of her she walked and when Jill saw that she flipped ’cause she realize Bethenny wasn’t coming back. The looks Bethenny is giving her like she wants to rip Jill’s tongue of lies out.

Jill tries to bribe the pregnant woman with potato pancakes. But Bethenny is smarter than that. Or maybe the potato pancakes would of worked but then Jill had to go a put the foot in her trap again when she starts with ‘ I have to get rid of toxic people in my life’ And of course Bethenny is expecting her to say LuAss but Jill brings up Alex. Bethenny starts laughing at Jill and looks at her and says Bitch are you high? “Alex is toxic?’ It almost sounded like Bethenny was going to choke on her food. Jill continues with her wild accusations she whines ‘ You don’t know you haven’t seen this side.’ Bethenny reminds Jill that she called Bethenny toxic in the past. So Jill glosses it over with ‘ I thought you were at the time’.

Jill keeps using the excuse that being a royal pain in the ass, is her part of her cute princess personality and that she is not changing even thought she knows she is wrong. Bethenny lets Jill have it and says to Jill ‘  You don’t see yourself on the outside looking in, I don’t think that you do. You create arguments and  drama and pick fights with people and count things.. then you have to deal with the residual damage’ At this point Jill is still being a wall you can tell by the look on her face that she has that she is not accepting this and Jill’s attitude is Oh well, “I guess that’s my personality’ and tells Bethenny ‘I’m not perfect ! Bethenny is still trying to get through to Jill and reminds her that everyday we all should be evolving and becoming better people . But it is all still going over Jill’s head whose answer is ‘ I do everyday. I wake up and I try to do the right thing’ Which means Jill did her part and  she picked the right outfit for the day and everyone else has to accommodate ‘Queen Jill’s off with your head’ personality.

But then Bethenny hits the nail in the coffin. and tells Jill ‘The problem is you don’t take responsibility’ for your fuck ups. And you’re having a lot of problems with people right now !’ And that’s when Jill breaks down and cries . Bethenny looks at Jill nods and says I thought so Bitch!

Oh God no! Why did they have to show us this scene with LuAss singing Karaoke! WHY WHY!? LuAss has always had a dream of torturing people with her raspy ass man voice. So she trows a Karaoke party and after slamming 61 shots of tequila(damn that bitch can drink!) she goes up on stage to sign her number one hit single and I hope this stupid song doesn’t get stuck in my head or I am blaming LuAss for it!. All the other bitches, of course show up because they want to pretend to kiss LuAnn and her delusions. Even thought they feel stupid being there. Kelly shows up saying her annoying ‘HIIIII!! HIII!! HIIII!!’.

Sonja Gonzo shows up and asks LuAnn if she is still dating that short lesbian Courtney. LuAnn says she had to break up with the short lesbian because her breath smelled like she ate a shit sandwich all the time and LuAss counl’dt take it anymore. TOLD YA’! SHE DID HAVE SOME RANK BREATH! Anyways, LuAnn had to let stinky breath go and found herself some French guy who brushes his teeth and has some money  but is in desperate need of an eyebrow wax.

So now it’s LuAnn’s big debut she is drunk off her ass and puts on her Wilma Flintstone dress that she wears in all the other episodes, then she goes on to sing her number one dance single. It sounds like the bitch should be competing for some kinda of a RuPaul’s Singing Drag Race because she looks and sounds like a tranny.

Money cant buy you class it can surely buy you aaass . Elegance is a whooore!

After LuAnn’s drunken tranny performance, all the bitches where hanging out getting hammered . Gonzo starts the conversation about who is going to Ramona’s wedding. Of course LuAnn’s know it all holier than thou ass,  takes over the conversation and starts talking about how tore up it was that Ramona turned Jill away from her vacay-home and blah, blah, blah. Gonzo is trying to be the fair one and make a point by saying that she would be very upset if someone showed up to her vacation with out calling. LuAss and Jill keep dominating the conversation and pushing Gonzo out of the fabulous circle of jerks that they are, because that’s how classy folk like them do it . Finally Sonja has to go Gonzo on their ass and smacks LuAss upside down her head and yells: ‘I’m  tired of her talking over me and not listening!’

‘You guys let me finish okay, you know what? I’m tired of her (pointing to LuAss) talking over me, or when I’m talking to her not listening.’ Then Sonja points at Sasquatch and says ‘You were there!’ then points at LuAnn and says , you where not there bitch! so shut the fuck up! When Kelly  (points at Kelly) finally left, the next day we had some peace and quiet. We sat down at 5 o’clock for our pedicures and in you walked starting all this mad dog shit. When it is clear that no one wanted you there. (Whatch that bitch Jennifer in the background she is all laughing her ass off because Gonzo is bitchsmaking Jill and LuAnn). Kelly knows she made an ass of herself at that vacation and stands there looking dumb and picking a winner out of her nose. LuAnn can not believe she just got shushed by Gonzo,  but just allows it. LuAnn can’t take their bickering anymore and rufies those bitches drinks up and announces her new hit single , ‘Money can buy you crack!’.

Bethenny packs her shit to move in together with Jason, and tells Jason he is allowed to diplay his Big Balls in the Jar. Then they all get arrested before driving away in the moving truck.

Ramona and her daughter Avery make a hair appoitment to fix their nappy ass weaves before Ramonas wedding renewal. Avery asks Romaine Lettuce if she is gonna cry and Ramona says she might. Then she asks Avery if she is gonna cry Avery answers ‘why the fuck would I cry?!’ And Ramona loves staircase drama.

While Ramona was getting ready for her wedding renewal she kept losing her speech cards like 20 times. Then Jill shows up to surprise her and Ramona punches Jill in the face . Ramona tells Jill that is is really important to know where other people are coming from and that it is not always about Jill. Then she kisses her. Now their even.

Everyone shows up to the Ramona and Mario contract renewal.  Simon decides to wear a dress this time. Kelly and her lopsided east west teeties show up. Jill informs Kelly that she is lopsided then orders her to‘pick up the left boobie!’. Then Kelly proceeds to say that Ramona’s party sucks ass and why in the hell was she celebrating a wedding renewal with such an odd number like 17 . Surprisingly nobody fought. All the bitches were standing in a circle yapping about how cute LuAnn’s new man is. You know, the one that looks like a goat. Someone here on the comments mentioned that and I looked at him real good he does look like a goat .

Bethenny realizes she is wearing a dress made out of bird feathers. Dind’t she pose for I rather go nakid? Well shit, if that’s the case her crazy ass should of gonne nakid the minute she found out she was wearing some feather shit that they had to pluck out of a live chicken. I am sure that’s what Peta was expecting of her but got dissapointed in her because in the end you can’t go nakid or else you freeze your giant balls off! Oh well I still love that big mouth bitch!

All of the sudden you hear a loud squawk that drowns out all the other people talking. And it’s Jill of course bitching and complaining about how Ramona’s wedding  renewal party sucks major hairy ass, because there is no snacks like cheese and crackers and those tiny weeniers(Because she likes that). Jill starts screaming: ” ALREADY THERES PROWMLEMS THERES NO ORDERVES WHEN YOU MAKE PEOPLE WAIT AN HOUR PAST THE TIME YOU BETTER FEED ME ! AND I’M GETTING VERY HUNGRY!

DAMN! Her 2 stomachs must of being starving!

Jennifer has to put her 2 cents in and starts screaming about not getting people drunk before the ceremony when suddenly, the woman who is the event planner appears because she heard the loud squawks of these drunken bitches and wanted to see if there was a problem and if security needed to be called. Right away Jill asks the event planner who the fuck she is and the event planner tells her she is the bitch in charge there. Ferret face Jennifer laughs her ass off and turns to look at Kelly and yells “THAT BITCH IS THE EVENT PLANNER?!’ THAT FAT BITCH? NO WONDER .’ NOW WOULD YOU PAY THAT PERSON TO BE YOUR EVENT PLANNER?’ Wow how very professional of Jennifer. But then again she wants to be on this  low brow TV show so we can make fun of her.

And now the big moment, but first Ramona fights with Avery and Mario over the dog that’sgonna be in a dress being the maid of honor along with Avery.  Damn! you can tell Avery is an only child, all argumentative with her mother like that. I can relate to that sometimes I just want to smack my child upside down the head too even thought she is now 15 like Avery. Ramona should of pretended like she was gonna smack her and maybe Avery would of flinch and chilled out, but maybe Ramona didn’t spank her enough as a smaller child or else she would of had her trained. That argument went on and on. Oh well, they all look so pretty!

But wait now the big moment this time for real . Stupid Jill saying stupid shit real loud abotu how the 2 teams got seated on oposite ends. All of the sudden Mario comes down the stairs then Avery with the dog in her hands finally Crazy Eyes Romaine Lettuce (Yes, that’s her real Christian name) decends in all her nutty glory.

The guy performing the renewal tells the lovely story of how Mario fell in love with Ramona’s ghetto bootey, when she was wearing a skimpy black leotard while working out at some gym and Mario was dressed in drag ‘Since Mario has already being very fond of butt the 2 of them already had a lot in common’.10 minutes later they were doing in in the locker room at the YMCA and now they been happily swinging married  for almost 2 decades.  I swear this Bitch is the East coast twin sister of Vicky Gunvalson. That Bitch is crazy too and did the same shit when she remarried Don and she kisses other men too just like Romaine Lettuce. Anyways it was a very cute ceremony for crazy ass Ramona and Mario. So congrats to those assholes and may they be married for 17 more years.

The rest of the reception goes well. I was really surprised that nobody was yelling at each other. Kelly gives Ramona a lame ass gift and she is channeling her good girl personality that night. Bethenny is all emotional and tells Ramona and Alex that they’re her girls. Even Jill and Bethenny are  kinda talking and shooting the shit, too bad Jill is still an asshole and the relationship is destroyed.

 LuAnn signs her lame ass song and has gone on to other adventures moving into a ground level govertment project condo and releasing her new single ‘Life is Shit’ she will be singing that on street corners with a sign so make sure you put dollar bills in her collection hat and not quarters you cheap bastards!

Ramona decided to skip her honeymoon because she is renewing herself and as part of the renewal she is letting Mario  spend more time with his 22 year old girlfriend and Avery can spend time hanging out with her friends at the park mugging people for fun. Ramona on the other hand went and had fun with another all girls getaway to Vegas to the all male stud farm for 3 weeks.

Sonja Gonzo says that she is seen it all and had it all in every hole. Sorry about that. But anyways Sonja continues to be a ho’ but she is a nice ho’ and that’s what’s important!

Kelly spends her days arguing with her different personalities and all the voices in her head in a hazy, amazing world of lollipops, unicorns, meth lines up her nose, dirty needles up her arm filled with Windex and whatever roids she bought that day if she remembers what day it is. Or not. But the important thing is Kelly can also take the voices in her head and the large white horses that live in her living room outside of her apartment and talk with them , because it is sunny outside and that’s a beautiful thing. EEEEKKKAAAYYY! And she is still an asshole!

Alex is promoting her new parenting book and her new ‘fuck you bitch!’ attitude and if you don’t like it TOO BAD BITCH! Good for that Bitch! She looks like that bitch from Bewitched doesn’t she?

Jill is still a spoiled bitch and tells Bethenny she is not changing but at the same time she gives contradicting messages when interviewing in her one on one camera time saying stupid lies like ‘ we go through life and we learn’ Yeah whateves Jill ! Now that Bethenny has moved on Jill says she misses her and wishes they can be friends again or so she says. But Jill is also still an asshole too! And a vile one!

The only bitch that got something good out of these housewives shows and knew how to use her fame to make money is Bethenny. She got married had a baby and is now moving on to starr in her own adventures in ‘Bethenny getting married?” and Jill is not going to be in it.

They didn’t say anything about ferret face Jennifer because she doesn’t matter.

And that’s how that shit went down Bitches!

I felt so bad for those unfotunante ho’s after they had to deal with the catastrophic disaster level 10 named Kelly . All of them were sitting at the ocean breakfast table during the aftermath of nuclear bomb Kelly and were  all discussing the previous nights events and how Ramona called the Looney Bin Squad to pick up Sasquatch.

 They were all so happy that psycho bitch was finally  gonne. However these poor bitches cannot get a break, when all of the sudden while they were all getting relaxing manicures on the beach terrace, without warning and  like a horn Jill walks in saying ‘Hiiii , Hiiii, RAMONA RAMONA ! HI! SURPRISE!’  WHAT AN ASSHOLE! Jill just shows up all unannounced, being a loud ass bitch and  an obnoxious jerk in the way that only Jill knows how.

 Bitch was expecting everyone to be happy to see her, drop everything their doing and bow down on their knees, to  kiss  Queen Jill’s ass. But instead got a rude awakening when those bitches got some brooms out the closet and chased her out and down the street.Jill of course  had to run to her car with Bobby in tow. Bobby wasn’t very happy because Jill dragged him out to St. Johns at 3am .

On their last night the Bitches had to make the best out of their last night there, and talked about penis sizes with Gonzo who has traveled the big apple quite a few hundred  times and seen her share of penises .Gonzo says that the men with big ears have large dicks but Bethenny says she don’t want Dumbo with a large package!.Ramona and Bethenny were dressed up as toilet paper brides . Too bad their whole vacay was ruined by Kelly and finally by crazy ass Jill showing up blowing her obnoxious horn.

When Kelly gets back to New York she  has to report to her supervisors , Jill and LuAss to keep them updated on the St. John’s situation of poor Kelly getting ganged raped  by the other ho’s. Yea whatever Bitch!.So they arrange to meet at a restaurant. LuAss and Jill say that Kelly was texting them crying about the beatings she was receiving from the other ho’s. That one Bitch Jennifer Gilbert was sitting there telling the other bitches that Kelly was texting her also, Jill and LuAnn just ignored her stupid ass . Bitch tries too hard.

Kelly admits to calling  Beth a ‘Ho’ Bag!’ and her story was all tangled up in circles accusing Bethenny of pressuring virginal Kelly of having a one night stand because according to the voices in Kelly’s head Bethenny worships the devil. LuAnn jumps up and says that ‘ho bag!’ is her favortie word in the whole universe, then she looks at Kelly in the eye and asks ’so did you have a nervous breakdown ho’ bag?!” 

Schzychoprenic meth head Kelly pulls a big ole’ lie out of her Bigfoot ass and tells LuAnn and Jill that Bethenny : ’Like said she said it then,.. and I fliipped! she’s like ,I went out of my way and to have a smeared campaign against you!’And we all know this bitch is straight up lying, because Bethenny NEVER said this. Notice how right after Kelly says ’she said it then,..’ she pauses for a few seconds in order to pull the bullshit lie out of her asshole  and come up with a good story? Or so she thinks, and then continues after her little pause. Damn! That Bitch is stupid! Doesn’t she realize everything is being recorded by cameramen?

 Not only did she lie about what Bethenny said to her but also she makes it so obvious that is a  fucking lie because she tells it the exact same way a child who is 6 years old would tell  a fucking bullshit story. LuAnn, Jill and that other ferret looking Bitch know this ho’s is straight up lying; but just go along with it to hate on Beth. Ferret face is giving Kelly some doubtful looks , ’cause that Bitch knows Kelly is full of shit. 

Kelly is also not liking it when those ho’s were telling her stupid ass that Bethenny is in fact a Chef and has made a name for herself. Kelly looks so full of shit and desperate plus her jealousy is leaking through her pores telling that tall tale and continuing her obsession with Bethenny being a Chef.

But at least Jill told Kelly WHO CARES IF BETHENY IS A CHEF WHO CARES BITCH! Kelly probly sits there obsessing over Bethenny during her meth induced delusions and losing sleep over Bethenny’s job title. Kelly is also so dumb that she doesn’t realize the other bitches are making fun  of  her, when LuAss and Jill laugh at her and tell her she is 12 years old, for hiding her jellybeans up her ass so the other ho’s wouldn’t steal them.That’s what meth and roids do to you it makes you stupid.

That ferret looking bitch tells Kelly she is full of shit and there is ‘3 sides to the story there is mine, there is yours and there is the truth.’

 Sonja is screwing some artist guy who  she is paying for his gigolo services. He must be a good fuck if she is throwing a party for his shitty artwork that he makes with throw up. Because she likes her boy toy so much, she also has some fat opera singer sing  and she was rocking out to him pretending to like opera.LuAnn finds out the truth (that she already knew) of the Kelly drug and roids trip gone bad and ending up in the nut house . Simon decides to dress like a mix between Eddie Munster and that singer from ACDC.

And the best part of this episode was the part were Jill fell on her fat ass! Bitch had to go squeeze into a skimpy little red outfit and her cancles were sticking out. Then right before her performance she fell flat on her fat ass! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

And remember when Jill was getting told off  by that ice skating coach, who was yelling profanities at her?! That was hilarious. I love it when people slap some reality on those delusional bitches head. Gotta love that loudmouth coach !

Why can’t any of these ho’s ever pay their bills on time? Queen of fronting Sheree Whitfield is getting sued by two separate attorneys for her ongoing divorce battle,  for a total of $180,000.00 and is getting threatened with jail time.  Well maybe if she goes to jail for this shit and Joker Face goes to jail for the same thing or for whatever, (I’m sure there’s something that ho’ could go to jail for!) they can find each other and finally find twisted, psychotic, love in each others arms and Kelly can join them too. Shit! It can be a threesome. EEWWWWW!!!

NeNe Leakes husband Greg felt like a fool after talking all that smack about NeNe to that DJ Corey King dude and went and apologized. He also threatened Corey King with a lawsuit of some sort, over recording their conversation without his knowledge. I knew he was gonna flip out over  that shit.

Teresa Giudice and her husband put their house up for sale and just 24 hours later Teresa Tweeted that her home was ‘Not for sale’. Later on the home was taken off the real state sites. I bet her and Joe are having a hard time letting go of that giant marble haunted mansion. I don’t blame them, It’s ridiculously awesome in a marbelous tacky way. I bet you can wonder around that house for days and not see your family. I bet when Teresa is pissed off at Joe she just hides in the other side of the house and vice-versa. Teresa and Joe were probably arguing or debating about putting the house up for sale and at the last minute decided not to, for one reason or another.

Skankarella Joker Face was ordered by the courts to put her home up for sale. Her scary freak show sex video came out yesterday. In other good news I think Joker Face’s sex tape will help the economy, specially the psychiatric and health industries. Imagine all the people that are gonna need therapy after watching that circus, sex- freak- show, that scary ass sucked up, crypt keeper looking thing is starring in, those people are gonna be scarred for life. THAT’S SCARY AND GROSS!

Oh yea, one more thing did ya’ all watch ‘Watch What Happens’ I hardly ever watch this show but last night’s after the RHONJ did ya’ all see Ramona when Andy asked her what she thought of Joker Face ass Danielle Staub? Was it my imagination? Or did she say that when she is at events where Joker Face is at and she is asked to be photographed with Joker Face , Ramona said something to the effect that she has nothing to do with Joker Face. I need to find that clip again because I want to hear that. Joker Face is the most vile of them all. WOW!

The infamous Omarosa Manigault Stallworth is going after Bethenny Frankel because of a remark Bethenny said during a taping on’ The View’  were Bethenny said she don’t want to be compared to that crazy skank Omarosa, Bethenny stated:

“I think she’s an interesting example because she used [her time on a reality show] to be infamous, I have a real career. I have a brand, I have a very popular cocktail, I have two New York Times Bestsellers, I have my own show.”

 

Omarosa got all pissed off and went to Perez Hilton and had this to say about Beth:

 

“The gloves are off, Bethenny’s comments about me and my career on VIEW today were unprovoked and uncalled for. I have always been cool with Bethenny and we have never has any beef.

“Today she tried to act like her show was superior to my new show and her book was superior to my book or her career was superior, I was surprised that she went there with me!! She got her start or the Apprentice just like me. She is on a NBC show just like I was. She is making a living in the world of reality just like me.”

 

Omarosa then accused Jason Hoppy of being gay and of Bethenny having a tummy tuck after baby:

 

“I have never once said a bad word about her or all of the rumor swirling around about Jason and his sexuality, EVERYONE knows he’s gay but we never said anything- because she was HAPPY. “

“When she got a tummy tuck with her c-section after the baby and pretended that she just LOST the baby weight NATURALLY -

Bethenny needs a reality check!! Bethenny, Karma is a BITCH and so are you!!”

 

Bethenny also recently told Life & Style Magazine, that she was married to a secret husband named Peter Sussman, this was back in ‘96, but left him because he sucked in bed there was no passion.

 

This is what she said about him:

 

“I felt like, ‘This is really it? This is the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with?’  You can’t go to bed with a piece of 8-by-10 paper.”

 

Click here to read the original story.

 

Here is a picture of him:

 

 

 

Since both these Bitche’s mother’s conceived them on top of the same pentagram, were they got gang banged by different demons and goats on the night that they were participating in that one orgy hosted by satan , making them both sisters from different mothers. Joker Face found a kindred spirit in Kelly Sasquatch ; and send her a messague that she can come talk to her any time because she feels for poor Kelly getting bullied by the other ho’s. (Rolling eyes!)

Also insanity Kelly dropped a couple of hits of acid and snorted some meth with extra embalming fluid, then she released an anti-bullying PSA, were of course she rambles on repeating all the bullshit that the voices in her head tell her to say. Kelly still believes  in her little demented head ,that she was being bullied by the other ho’s .  Just like she believes she had a ‘breakthrough’ and not a ‘breakdown’. Just keep telling yourself that Sasquatch! And the funny part is, this delusional twat thinks that everyone else believes her. Maybe when the guys with the yellow jackets come and pick her ass up for her next visit to the insane asylum, she should take Joker Face with her so that they can both have a much needed vacation.

  Here is her mugshot!

I am surprised this type of shit doesn’t happen every week with these Bitches, I mean think about it they are always hammered and drinking their wino glasses while the cameras are rolling. I guess sexy pistol Sonja Gonzo couldn’t flirt her way out of this pickle. Thanks Rebecca for the heads up!

Here is the original article from NYdaily News:

  Morgan, 46, who is the newest cast member to join the “Real Housewives of New York,” was arrested for allegedly driving under the influence, RadarOnline.com reported.

 According to Radar, the reality TV star failed a number of field sobriety tests and refused to take a Breathalyzer test. She was then taken to the police station where she was charged with DWI.

Since joining the “Real Housewives,” Morgan has been winning over Bravo audiences with her life of the party attitude and fun-loving demeanor. She is the ex-wife of J.P. Morgan’s great-grandson, John Morgan.

LuAnn ended up inviting Alex to the Cocktail Clitore for the homeless shingdig. But I guess Bethenny did not grovel at their asses enough to be invited. While at the Clitore party not much action went on other than LuAss bitching at Alex for smacking Jill around with the message last time.

 Alex was also confronted by Bobby, who tells Alex Jill came home crying and Jill never cries, because she is usually the one that makes Alex cry who is usually so nice. And Bobby is surprised at her behavior and begs Alex to apologize to Jill, wheter Jill is right or wrong, because Bobby is tired of dealing with crazy Jill complaining day and night, about how Alex delivered her that God awful message.

Jill cryed to Kelly who is her new ‘pet project and tells Kelly, she didn’t want to make up with Bethenny before because, she dind’t have her cheat notes to keep her lies straight.

Even though Jill cried to Bobby about how incredibly mean Alex was to her, and told him to tell Alex to apologize to her, she still avoided Alex like the plague the minute she saw Alex approaching her. This was carefully crafted by Jill in order to kill any chance of Alex apologizing to Jill, making Jill look more like the poor fragile victim. 

 Ramona also berates Alex for delivering that ‘messague’. I think all the alcohol has short circuit some of Ramona’s thought pattern, because it doesn’t make sense that she would stick up for Jill the Pill; after all, they both tried to shit on each others events.

Bethenny finally gets a call from her dad to see him and she gets to see him before he died.

LuAnn is flirting with some short 50 year old, lesbian named Courtney, at ‘The Kelly event for asking people if they wear underwear’. LuAnn brags that she is working on a song , because suddenly she is a singer too! That short lesbian asks LuAnn out. You can tell Courtney, must have bad coffin breath, because she is chewing on a lot of gum. 

That Jennifer Gilbert bitch is shown a little more here and says that,  whatever the fuck LuAnn’s date is  it ‘ Has bad hair and is gay!’. She also mocks Alex when she leaves by asking her why she is leaving in a condensending tone: ‘Is it something we said?’ I bet this Bitch is also gonna be Jill’s lap dog.

Simon dogs Alex and sits between Jill and Gonzo’s legs. You can tell Gonzo was all exicted. When they got home Alex smacked him with a hot spatula for that.

Ramonas daughter doesn’t see the stupid point of her parents wedding renewal, since mom and dad cheat on each other constantily, and the dress ramona wants to choose is ugly and the whole thing is ‘RIDICULOUS!’ And Avery wants a black dress!

Jill dictates to Kelly how she should talk. And tells her she says ‘like’too much. So she starts to count the ‘likes’ and tells Kelly she is gonna train her on how to talk properly, because people are not taking her seriously when she says like too much, so she smacks Kelly upside down the head with a rolled up newspaper and counts everytime Kelly says ‘like’.

Kelly just laughs, and still follows Jill around and proudly admits she is Jill’s, ‘pet project’.Stupid Bitch don’t realize Jill can’t stand her in reality, and she just talks to her to piss off Bethenny. So Jill is just using her! But Kelly is too stupid to notice.

Ramona invites all the Bitches to her bachelorete party while having lunch at the fancy smancy Four Seasons and they all flirt with some old fart.

Jill uses this opportunitu to take digs at Sonja and asks her personal questions and Sonja uses this opportunity to brag that she too was a ‘model’. Jill says, Really? Are u sure you weren’t a cocktail waitress selling tricks on the side when you met your sugar grandpapi? You’re also short! You can’t be a model lying Bitch!

Jill also says that Ramona’s wedding renewal is stupid!

And finally round 2 between Jill and Alex. When the Bitches arrive at Jennifer’s house she opens the door and says ‘ Everyone is asleep behind closed doors!’ What the fuck is that mean? Was that her way of telling those loud ass ho’s to keep it down? Uhmm?

 Jill, LuAnn,  Ramona, Kelly and that new Bitch Jennifer where at the party and Ramona announces to the room full of drunken menopausal bitches that Bethenny send her an email telling her that Bethenny’s dad had died. Jill blows up at Ramona because she dind’t tell her first. And Ramona tells Jill she didn’t read the text until after she was donne with her workday so she didn’t email anybody but Jill doesn’t understand that because she doesn’t have to work. Jill smacks Ramona in a screaming bitch slapping match and Ramona lets her.

 All those people behind closed doors at that bitches house are awake now.

That new ho’ Jennifer tries to smooth things out by talking to Jill and kissing her ass. Jill totally and rudely ignores whatever spewage that dumb ass Jennifer was farting out of her mouth and just like a 13 year old runs in Jennifer’s pantry to cry. NICE! So Jill disses the new ho’ at her house at her party! NICE!

Jill’s pet project follows her in the pantry and kisses her ass too. It was funny as fucking hell when that Jennifer Bitch went in the pantry and didn’t say anything to Jill or Behemoth just physically kicked them out of the pantry! AWKWARD!

Gonzo walks in the middle of the Afganistan war already in progress.

 And finally Alex shows up with her Brooklyn gloves on and tells Jill ‘I got your text messague earlier, HOW COULD YOU!’ And she goes on , Bitch you were trying to gossip and you’re a piece of shit, Shut up and listen to me stupid ho’!

Alex was all screaming at that Bitch Jill about how when Bethenny’s dad died she was trying to use his death to gossip. Then Jill got all upidty and tells her ‘EXCUME ME DON’T YOU EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!’.

Alex loses it and yells at Jill, YOU’RE A MEAN GIRL AND YOU ARE IN HIGH SCHOOL!’ AND WHILE YOU’RE STUPID ASS IS IN HIGH SCHOOL I’M IN BROOKLYN TRYIN TO SURVIVE IN THIS FUCKED UP ECONOMY! BITCH I’M FROM BROOKLYN AND I’M AT BROOKLYN TRYING TO HUSTLE AND I’M A WORKING MOM! AND I HAVE NO PROBLEM PUNCHING YOU IN YOUR FAT MOUTH YOU STUPID BITCH!

Jill just laughs at Alex with an evil grin in her face and spits in Alex face and says: Then go back to Brooklyn you peasant broke ass ho’ you ain’t got no money and no social status, and we just won’t be in the same social circle! Go back to Brooklyn you ghetto ass low rent bitch!

Then Jill continues reminding Alex and rubbing it in Alex’s face, that they shouldn’t be in the same social circles, since Jill is so much richer and mocks Alex by telling Alex ‘You’re a better person than I am!’ But I still have mo’ money than you dumb bitch!

You can tell Jill was very much enjoyin herself because she knows she is much more better off financially than Alex and when Alex brought up that she is a ‘working mom’ this gave Jill fuel to piss on Alex’s fire, then she was apologizing to Jennifer for Alex behavior as if Alex is an unimportant savage who is not allowed to be pissed after the way Jill’s been shitting on her for the last 2 years. the CountAss was also mocking Alex and Gonzo was rolling up her eyes cause she don’t give a shit about broke ass ho’s. 

Jill also kept interrupting and not listening to Alex as if she was an annoying child who needed to be ignored, to be taught a lesson.  That Bitch is Evil! And after Alex left frustrated, she sat there with the fatest grin in her face. But Karma is a Bitch Jill!

Bethenny is sitting with her assistant getting ready for her morning. Her assistant finds the Perez Hilton’s post that first announced that Bethenny was pregnant last October .Bethenny can’t figure out how Perez Hilton found out about her pregnancy, since she didn’t tell anybody, she only told her assistant, her best friend on the phone, and the 8 men camera crew who filmed her pissing on the stick while taking her pregnancy test. Gee  I wonder how that could of possibly gotten out?

 But all fingers point to Jill of course, maybe Jill was digging in Bethenny’s trash and found the disposed pregnancy test.Bethenny is freaking out . I remember when this shit happened back in October, but I only posted it after Hilton posted it.Bethenny is having a conniption fit and her assistant tells her to come down.Bethenny express that she has to now tell Jason and she is clearly upset.

LuAnn is visiting Sonja to check out the sections of her palatial townhouse for the Couture Skankass party. Supposedly this party they throwing is to donate the items to the homeless. Yeah like the homeless are gonna wear that gown that Alex wore to the opera that cost  like 10 grand. I can just see some homeless bag lady wearing that outfit at the NYC soup kitchen on a fancy night out.

Sonja tells LuAnn that they can smoke cigarettes or cigars outside on her patio and takes LuAnn out on the patio. Yeah, that makes sense LuAnn’s voice sounds like she’s been  smoking a lot of menthol’s since she was 12. Maybe that’s why Gonzo told her that shit, that she can smoke outside.

Gonzo warns LuAnn of the poop outside. LuAnn says she is stepping over a mindfill of shit and gets wet dog crap all over her suede boots. Then she starts cursing in French to make sure everyone knows she speaks French.

Sonja says that her lazy ass housekeeper is not there to pick up the dog  shit today, and she can’t be bothered with cleaning that, so LuAnn will just have to wipe her foot on the  patio stone because she is not letting her wash her cheap ass Target boots in her sink .Like Jill. Jill washes shit shoes in her sink like in last episode with the vet’s shoe.

What the fuck is up with Gonzo’s freaky statues in the backyard that shit looks like something out of that movie the Shinning.

Jill calls LuAnn and LuAnn puts Jill on speaker. Jills says to LuAnn Where are you bitch? Why aren’t you here up my ass?and since LuAnn is now Jill’s butt sniffing lap dog, she tells her that she is at Gonzo’s house shooting the shit. LITERALY!

Did ya’ all see Jill’s face? That Bitch looked all pissed that LuAnn wans’t paying homage to Queen Jill, kneeling at her throne,sniffing her fat culo. 

Jill is not liking this Sonja character, you can clearly see how flamingly pissed and jealous Jill is of this woman already. Jill wants to dick slap those two bitches through the phone if she could .

Jill ask LuAnn if she send her an e-vite for the  Cocktail Clitore party.  LuAnn tells Jill she already send an e-vite and ask Jill if she got it. Jill orders LuAnn to send her an evite for the Cocktail and Cliture party because the piece of shit e-vite she send her was not enough.

Jill tells LuAnn but ‘ I can tell you didn’t put that much thought into it!’Of course since LuAnn is on Jill’s payroll, right now as her guard dog, she doesn’t talk back to Jill. If it was Alex that said the shit Jill said to  the Countless, she would of  punched Alex in the mouth through the phone somehow, but since it was Jill who pays her for being her bitch she doesn’t dare spew any sass back to Queen Jill.

 Then Jill spills the beans that Bethenny is pregnant .

 Jill also demands gossip. Did ya’ all see Gonzo’s face? Bitch looks like a frozen wax figure, bitch better stay away from open flames or she may start crying ‘I’M MELTING I’M MELTING!’ She can’t move her upper lip and she has a permanent surprise look on her face . However I am liking this Gonzo Bitch simply because Jillous is jealous of her. HA HA HA!

 All the bitches start discussing how Bethenny had a little ‘bubble’ on her belly  and how she looked preggers at the last party. Then LuAnn brings up that Bethenny just got engaged and insinuates that this is the reason she is hurrying up and getting married.

 Then Gonzo says ‘that’s the European way! first you get pregnant and then you get married”. Yeah, well that’s the hillbilly way too first ya’ get knocked up then you have a shotgun wedding. But Bethenny needed that so its all good. Jill is so jealous of Gonzo and LuAnn hanging out together and out- yentaing her .

Jill of course has to give her expert advice and opinion on Bethenny and says that Bethenny shouldn’t be talking about the pregnancy because she is not pregnant enough. Then Jill decides she is going to send Bethenny messages, telling her to keep her pregnancy a secret even thought Jill is the one who told Perez Hilton after she found that used pregnancy test that said positive, while she was digging in Bethenny’s trash , that one day.

 LuAnn admits that Bethenny blocked her from Twitter. LuAnn asks Jill if she should invite Bethenny to this party and Jill says to LuAnn ‘I dont know why since she callewd you a snake but that’s yo’ business!’ yo’ stupid bitch! then LuAnn tells her that Bethenny apologized. See LuAnn has to run it by Jill first to see if Queen Jill approves it!

LuAnn comes to a compromise with Jill and says, lets do this since we don’t really like Bethenny anyways lets see if she will kiss our ass first, and then we’ll invite her and woop her ass at the party. How’s that sound?

 Gonzo tries to cut Bethenny some slack by saying that Bethenny is under a lot of stress because she is preggers and getting hitched, but LuAnn looks at her like she is gonna smack her with the phone ala Naomi Campbell for that remark.

And now Bethenny has to tell Jason that her pregnancy leaked to the blogosphere .  You can tell this guy is pissed , but see here is the thing when you are on a reality TV show, this kind of shit may happen guys. It sucks but this is what you gotta remember.

Jason says he can’t handle this level of bullshit and that he knew her life was in the public eye but this is ridiculous. Then he tells Bethenny not to yell at him. I didn’t hear her yelling thats just the way she talks . He better start getting used to it.

Damn! If this it how he was freaking out about when her pregnancy leaked imagine how much he flipped when Jill was posting on FB that the baby was a boy he better get used to this circus fast. It’s so funny that Bethenny is 39 and having a baby I just thought about that shit when I’m her age  my kid is gonna be 19. Which makes me more exicted for her because she waited to have a baby for so long !

 This is where they introduce Jennifer . Jill japs her mouth in full mothor mouth mode. She is name dropping about how she knows Donald Trump and Ghandi and Jimi Hendrix.

Jill also decides that since this is HER skating party and she does not like to eat while she is skating no one else should be able to eat regular food either .

Jill’s menu consist of  an assload of junk food and also some lamb chops because she wants to take them to Ginger . Jill don’t give a flying fuck what everone else would like to eat it’s what she likes to eat and the food she ordered did not go together , Jamba Juice, cupcackes, hot chocolate, pigs in blankets and frozen chicken fingers, plus the lambchops.

Sonja Gonzo decides she needs to get a tuck on her flabby belly and says she rather have the doctor tuck it than do any sit ups because that takes effort. So she drags Ramona, who is good at snooping on people, to this back alley surgeons office who graduated from the Tijuana online school. 

Since Ramona loooves to research and question people until they want to shoot her, she shows up wasted and ready to confront the so called doctor. Then she asks the doctor why the fuck he is drunk at 9 in the morning and why there is a blanket of dust and dirty magazines on his desk the doctors admits those magazines are from 1973 when he was fired from the hospital and has no hospital benefits. Ramona then yells, I WOULDN’T LET YOU DO SURGERY ON LUANN’S PECKER AND I HATE THAT BITCH!

The doctor was all embarrassed and says that he is not drunk but has been hitting the funny gas in the office. Even thought the doctor is questionable Sonja Gonzo is still having him do her tummy tuck because the doctor has performed some surgeries on famous models like Kelly’s divorced teeties and Sonja is a doofus like that so she is just gonna do it anyways against drunken Ramona’s advice.

Bethenny calls Alex to tell her that she is having a baby Hoppy. Alex asks Beth if she is having Perez Hilton’s blue haired babies Bethenny says only nine of them. Bethenny also informs Alex that she got an email from Jill the Pill telling her to keep her pregnancy business private, even thought it was more than likely Jill herself who told him.

Bethenny informs Alex she is not going to attend Ramona’s skin care party because she may run into Jill and she don’t fell like throwing down now that she is preggers, so she asks Alex to deliver a message to Jill and tell her to stay the FUCK out of her life and she never wants to have ANYTHING to do with  her loud mouth and fake ass red hair again. EVER! Alex says that she has a fire of hell in her belly and will gladly deliver that bitch the message, and will have no problem punching her in the face  too, because she just wants to do it for her own vengeance purposes since she hates that rude stuck up Bitch anyways.

Alex says she is tired of all the years of bullshit that Jill has put her through. She says Jill treats her like she is some fucking peasant not worthy to be listened to or sit next to Queen Zarin and she is going to put an end to that bullshit by going Brooklyn on her harpy ass.  FINALLY ALEX IS GOING TO REPRESENT SOME BROOKLYN! Dont be ashamed chica say it loud say it proud I’M FROM BROOKLYN! And then punch that ho’ make sure you make her spell Brooklyn with her teeth while she picks them up from the floor after you’r done with her.

Jill and Bobby are doing some cheesey interwiew to promote It’s all about Queen Jill FabricsZarin frabrics. The interviewer asks Bobby the firtst question and Jill bulldozes, interrupts and takes over because she feels her husband is taking too long to answer and she is losing her patiente. After Jill rudely takes over she starts selling the fabrics prices an all. She totally steals Bobby’s thunder, she is good at that, and this is after she told Bobby this was his night. But what do you expect from this Bitch after all she is the one who wanted to jump the gun and be the first one to announce Bethenny’s baby birth,even thought she had the baby’s gender and weight  all wrong.

Sonja Gonzo consults with an Gypsy Old Crone . The Crone was like 300 lbs and was missing some teeth and hair. That’s how you know if they’re for real . This Bitch must be for really real. Maybe Alex can hire her later and get the six winning numbers for the lottery so she can shove it in Jill’s face after the draw.

We then are taken to some event where Countless LuAnn is promoting her bullshit ass book Classless with the CountAss. Jill show up loud and late slams open the door and yells ‘IT’S ALL ABOUT ME BITCHES!’ She then proceeds to act disruptive  and more  loud while LuAnn is trying to read her pitch, because just like she said at the beggining it’s all about her and even this event for CountAss has to be all about her one way or another. SO SUCK ON THAT!

 Jill is using her blackberry, the whole time  LuAnn was up on the stage trying to peddle her book because she desperately needs the money to eat and pay for gigolos.  Jill the Pill and Behemoth are talking away Jill is also using her blackberry, and LuAnn  gets all pissed off at her bestie Jill, who is dissing her at her own function. LuAnn starts talking about how it is rude manners to walk in late and looks at Jill, but Jill doesn’t get it because it’s all about Jill not the CountAss and her cheesey book.

 Then out of the blue rude ass gettho Jill yells at the audience if anyone has a brother for LuAnn because she is desperate and hasn’t had any dick in about 6 months, since the Count left her for that younger hotter ho’ and he took all the money LuAnn needed to pay for male-whores.

 I am was waiting for Jill to just shove LuAnn out of the way and take over the mike to give that public service announcement to help LuAnn out by airin out all her personal sex life to God and everyone else. Fucking crazy Bitch! LuAnn was all irritated and pissed about these 2 ho’s talking throught her speech and walking in late.  I doubt this will get brought up during the reunion unless LuAss is done being Jill’s underdog by then.

And now Ramona’s Tru- Ho Skincare party. Kelly shows up with no pants of course just wearing her tranny panties . This Bitch needs to get off the meth, she looked like she was ready to go to her other part-time gig as a street walker after the party. Meth cost a lot of money.

Jill says that she is pissed that Ramona wrecked her Kodak event and that she is going to be the bigger person by shitting all over Ramona’s thingymagigy after monkey punching her in the nose.

 Jill shows up with her boxing gloves on , ready to charge at Ramona . Jill picks up a brochure from the display table  and the first thing out of her fat mouth was how fugly Ramona looks on those pictures, ‘THAT’S NOT HUW, THEY ROIN HUW! THIS ISN’T HUW FAWCE? WHO IS THIS? THIS IS REAW BAD BOTOX OW SOMEONE PHOTOSHOPED THE FUCK OUT HUW!’

 Bitch was being real loud. But you know she wanted to not only be the bigger person but also the loudest, most obnoxious one.

 Jill continues her rampage about teaching Romaine Lettuce with example. What exactly is she teaching her, that she can be just as physco and irritating if not worse. Jill the Pill went on and on about how Romaine Lettuce’s skincare thingy would go wrong and Ramona is fugly her skin looks like shit and she is serving disgusting unhealthy dog food to her guest. Since all that roach coach junk food Jill  is serving at her Holiday skanking, party is far more healthier.

Bethenny sends a bottle of  booze and a baby announcement .  And Bitch Jill is pissed that she was not told and bitches about how Bethenny’s life is the public eye and blah blah blah! Well ya’ all in a reality TV show what the fuck you think happens? Your life is in a fishbowl. DUMB ASS!

Then the Messenger bullshit. Alex and Simon show up and Alex has a gun in her purse. Alex walks up to Jill and says hi to her, I have a messague for you, Bethenny never wants to see you or talk to you again! Then she shoots her. Kelly then  she flaps her arms around  and says some dumb bull about the messenguer always gets killed. Alex looks at her and says not always Bitch, and shoots her too. Not really, but that’s how it really should of happened but instead Alex stumbles her ‘delivery’.

 At first Jill thinks Alex is preggers also. Everybody keeps interrupting Alex and Jill just keeps laughing at her like, Bitch whatever you have to say ain’t important, you ain’t nobody important But finally after like 20 minutes of Alex breaking out in hives and repeating ‘I have a delivery’  she finally tells Jill, in front of everyobody else, that  Bethenny said FUCK OFF! And that she doesn’t want anything to do with her crazy ass anymore.

At that moment it’s like someone scratches the record and everyone gets all pissed off, even Ramona who dind’t  notice Jill calling her fugly.Jill can’t believe that this peasant ho, had the nerve to put her in her place. And stupid Behemoth keeps repeating ‘the messenguer always gets killed!’, over and over . Then she says that is creepy and fourth grade. No Kelly what’s creepy is those fugly tranny street walker red panties you’re wearing with the high heels that is CREEPY!

Behemoth keeps trying to convice the tranny CountAss to go kill Alex. Everyone ignores Kelly and leaves. Jill goes home to cry to Bobby  and says she is gonna destroy Alex. Alex says she don’t give a rats ass what that miserable Bitch says, and she also don’t give a shit if this changed whatever relationship she had, or did not have with Jill the Pill. Alex says she is gonna go Brooklyn again on Jill if she has to, and she don’t regret it. Then she yells, FUCK THAT BITCH!

What did I say Bitches! What did I say in one of my recent recaps about  how CounAss wanted some Maxi. Remember?

 Maximiliano Palacio who dated Kelly Behemoth and humped her pink boots in public, he was also Sonja Gonzo’s once a week fuck boy may also be working for Countless LuAnn DeLa Mierda. Maxi-padded is  an actor from Argentina who appears in Spanish TV commercials and is going to be hosting some Bootey-Call show on Telemundo.

I can just see this fool on a Spanish Telenovela. Like the ones my mom used to watch all Hershey squirt-cheesey for your tacky pleasure! Ah good times!

There you have it Bitches, Maximiliano Palacio Spanish Actor/Male-Whore. I guess when he is not acting in Spanish dating shows he is giggologing his ass to 75 year old, desperate, divorced, cougars who have not ever seen a cock, that’s less than 35 years old since before they married their 85 year old, Sugar Grand Papies. DAMN THAT GROSS!