This was some fucked up shit that happened to this little baby and I hope that sick bitch Casey rots in hell with the devil.  You all don’t even know how disgusted I am with this verdict that every time I think about it I want to throw up!

This one time  the Housewives as well as myself and all my readers agree with their feelings of disgust over this bullshit verdict.

Check out the tweets the housewives blasted out after the Casey Anthony verdict:

Bethenny Frankel – “I’m so disgusted by the verdict that I’m almost consumed by it.”

Ramona Singer– “A very sad day that justice was not served for Caylee. Please let that poor little baby rest in peace.”

Caroline Manzo – “The defense team should show some kind of respect for this poor baby. Now is not the time for arrogance….. Jackass”

Teresa Giudice– “So insane to be in FL w Gia when Casey Anthony verdict comes out… As a mom of 4 beautiful girls, I just can’t… #disgusting #RIPCaylee”

Melissa Gorga – “Shame on you Casey… Bye….”

Kyle Richards - “So exactly WHO IS responsible for dumping Caylee’s lifeless body away like trash? nobody?”

Jill Zarin– “I can NOT believe Casey Anthony was found NOT GUILTY! What..the glove didn’t fit? The is terrible. I am SHOCKED.”

R.I.P. Caylee.

When the fortune-teller told Ramona that her husband Mario has another woman stashed somewheres who thinks of Mario constantly,  you could see the veil of denial on that bitche’s face but, the one that was freaking out the most was Sonja Morgan and everyone assumes that Sonja knows something that Ramona doesn’t know. Mario to me has always seemed like the type of guy who gets his way and likes his cake and eat it too, plus he always has that smirk of douche-bag pretty aging boy (YES, I ADMIT IT HE IS A PRETTY BOY STILL ANNOYING THOUGH!).

Plus his ass is always looking at other women that, in fact if my short-term memory doesn’t act up, I recall on the very first episode on the first season of this train-wreckage when they were all at a party and his not-so-sneaky ass got caught red-handed by Ramonzon talking to a younger bitch while having his wedding ring in his pocket! REMEMBER THAT SHIT??!! And Ramona confronted the woman by asking her if she was hitting on Mario.

Now, Ramona is always drunk and clueless, the bitch always  has her head too far up her ass and too into herself to notice what the fuck is going on around her and I bet Mario takes advantage of that shit. I bet if he is really cheating, his ass don’t even need to leave the house.  Ramona probably gets so drunk and goes  into a Pinot Grigio comma that while she is laying there passed out that he is able to bring his girlfriend over and probably even does her on the bed while Ramona is laying there shooting wine farts! Mario loves that shit because the more drunk Ramona is, the more he can sneak out, and the more belligerent and stumbly she is that she can’t tell the difference between her lipstick stains on Mario’s boxers or the other bitches.

Jill Zarin has whispered that she heard through the grapevine about Mario’s Don Juan escapades. But, then again that bitch talks a lot of shit. However, in this case there is reason for suspicion and it goes back to Mario’s wondering eye, plus the fact that he has the word ’cheater’ tattooed all over his face with permanent Indian ink doesn’t help and we saw how that tattoo was jumping out and screaming guilty the day that Ramona confronted Mario when she tried to give him a massage that went wrong!  

So, in this case Jillious may actually be telling at least some truth about this bullshit. I went on a cyber investigation rampage about this possible scandal and found some very interesting comments that people have left on different websites where they state that the Singer marriage is an open marriage and that Mario has a 24 year old girlfriend. Sometimes these comments turn out to be true in the future and sometimes nothing comes out of it. We’ll see what comes out of this.

Check out the comments below. Suposedly these are comments from people that know Mario is cheating. But, then again it could just be Jillious minions posting this shit:

I have been a recovering alcoholic for over 35 years (I stopped drinking 35 years ago when I was 23 years old). There is no question Ramona is an alcoholic–her obsession with supply everywhere she goes, her radical, mean changes in behavior when she drinks and her denial of her bizarre behavior afterwards are all markers of alcoholism

Oh by the way, Mario is indeed cheating on her—news flash—heard it from the source. Her daughters concern about this is evident to everyone except of course Ramona. She may in fact have a borderline personality as well.

Bravo is exploiting her-as they are with other alcoholics and mentally ill people on their shows—they make for good TV—Vicki in OC, Kim in Atlanta, Kim in La, all alcholics–and Camille from LA and Danielle from NJ top the mental illness charts.

Kelly showed signs of using speed and crystal meth last year the entire seasons—rambling constantly and especially when she was on what she called “scary island” (a sign of the paranoia that goes with using meth as well as the smell of cat pee in her room).

Just one?

On the very first episode ever of this show, Ramona caught him at a party they were attending having taken off his wedding ring.

Jane you are right, and I read that they have had an open marriage for the last 10 years and he has a 24 years old girlfriend and she has … Pinot.

54Antonella

 30 May, 2011 at 12:46 am

He cheats on her. He has, he will. They have an open marriage, they are partners not a marriage anymore. Andy Cohen Should ask her why he has his own apartment?

Also Ramona still insist that she is not an AlcoholicA and she brings up how in the House Skank series all the bitches are always holding a glass of wine in every episode (TRUE!) and Ramona is no exception. Except instead of holding a glass of wine this bitch is chogologing out of a jumbo-size bottle of  Pinot Moonshine Hooch. You know, the one that has the three X’s on the front.

Here is the original article from People.com:

Every Real Housewivesfan knows Ramona Singer loves Pinot Grigio, but does the New York City star have a drinking problem?

“Do I overdrink? No. I drink with responsibility,” Ramona told In the Mixx at a recent event for Hamptons Magazineat the Southampton Social Club. “I drink with a beautiful dinner. I would rather have my one or two glasses of Pinot Grigio than dessert which is 700 calories.”

Though she admits her name has become synonymous with the white wine, she’s using that to her advantage with her own line, Ramona Pinot Grigio.

And besides, the 54-year-old explains, drinking comes with being a Real Housewife.

“All I can say is, we’re filmed in social events. If you look at anytime I have a drink in my hand, look what LuAnn [de Lesseps] is drinking. The other people are drinking,” Ramona said. “The only person who doesn’t drink is Jill [Zarin]. She only drinks Diet Coke – and you wonder why? But anyway, all the other Housewives shows – they’re all drinking.”

Does it bother her that her costars, like Jill, have said they worry about her drinking? Or that she’s portrayed on the show as always wanting a glass of her beloved wine?

“I actually said to Bravo, I called them up I said, ‘Wait, is the story line so bad you have to make [my drinking] a story line? Because you know I don’t have a drinking problem,’ ” she said.

She also noted: “I’ve been on the show for four years. How can I have five businesses, be married 19 years, have a daughter who’s a straight-A student? I cannot even be a … functioning alcoholic if I had all of this stuff going on. It would be impossible. Do you ever see me fall down on TV? Do you ever see me slur my speech? Absolutely not. Do I have a drink or two with dinner? Absolutely.”

And that, according to her husband Mario, is good for business.

“You know what? It promotes the Pinot Grigio,” he says of the frequency of Real Housewives footage of Ramona drinking. “So if they want to make a big deal about it … that’s [fine].”

On the last wreckage of RHONY, ‘Bawby’ confronted Simon about the I Hate Jill Zarin blog and accused him of somehow being involved with the blog to promote the I Hate Jill Zarin hate campaign. Simon denies his involvement with this blog and says that the only contact him and Alex  have ever had with the person who owns the blog was back in June 2010 at a meet and greet in Chicago.

Here is what Simon posted on his Bravo blog in response to this:

“I don’t know how that translates into Simon or me being investors, content writers, posters, or even members of the blog. We don’t own it, we don’t have money in it. We don’t write for it. There is a link on the blog to a recap of the Chicago fan event held for us with pictures, and as the blog covers the whole Housewives franchise, we along with all other cast membersare regularly discussed on it. That doesn’t mean we are doing the discussing.”

Ramona also had something to say about the confrontation and the blog:

“Bobby had a heated discussion with Simon about a blog at the party.
Simon has no involvement with it whatsoever. I find the author of that blog to be very amusing and dead on in her critiques. Why is Jill always pointing fingers?”

Jill who cries that she is the constant victim of bullying is now saying that Simon has been blasting out hatefull tweets about her, but the only bitchy tweets I see are the ones from Jill being an asshole.

Here are some real good tweets that the blog Realitytea dug out:

• Mixed message? Your a hypocrite!” tweeted Jill about Ramona on June 23rd.
• “Just watched next weeks episode. It’s like soft porn. Gross!!! Then Luann takes down a housewife. Want to guess who? Such great episode!” tweetedJill on June 11th.
• “We r dying laughing watching Ramona fake cry.” tweetedJill June 9th.
• “She is just using me to try to get more twitter followers. Desperate move don’t u think? She did that with b too. Sad.” tweetedJill on June 5th.
• “I agree its gross.RT @jlrtweets101665 “@Jillzarin I think RHONY has become a 1 hour advertisement for Ramona’s beverage and it is becoming very very annoying.”” tweetedJill on June 5th.
• “Actually a producer!RT @KNeddie “@Jillzarin didn’t ramona hit a cameraman during filming?” tweetedJill June 2nd.
• “I think so too!RT @AbbieLLear “@Jillzarin what a selfish heartless bitch..Ramona is a prime example of bullying! I would be mortified if I were Avery! Jennifer is GORGEOUS.” tweetedJill May 20th.
• “What did I do that hurt Ramona to her face. She publicly attacked me. Big difference, you admit u put your foot in mouth and that’s ok?” tweetedJill May 19th.

Jillious has gotten so ridiculous and out of control, that according to the owner of the IHJZ blog,  she has even blocked people who followed the IHJZ blog on Twitter.  I think that the IHJZ blog is the least of Jill’s worries, everyone hates that bitch already anyways, the blog didn’t make people hate her. Jill’s actions and shitty ways make people hate her.

Plus everyone knows how she pays ‘cyber bullies’ to go on peoples blogs and leave nasty ass messages (she does that shit  here too all the time) and the bitch thinks that we’re all stupid and don’t know it’s her. Meanwhile she makes herself look stupid and become more hated by having assholes post nasty shit to bloggers, while we get more traffic and laugh at her ass so it all works out in the end. So thank you Jillious!

The last string of post are all late recaps that I dind’t get to post because of the limited time I have. Starting with episode 5 on to 7. More late recaps coming up. Enjoy.

LuAnn decides to invite Sonja to lunch, to discuss a girl’s getaway in the hopes to have another Scary Island fuckdown. Gonzo shows up to the lunch date at some fancy schmancy restaurant looking tacky as usual and the waiter almost kicks that bitch out.  He thought she was a homeless bag-weirdo that wondered in from the street because of the roadkill mangy getup that bitch was wearing. 

Gonzo says she wants to go to Italy for the Truffle festival because ‘everyone’ that can afford it, is going to be there. But, Bravo is on a budget and tired to forking out the bill for these bitches expensive trips, plus LuAnn must be pitching in and the bitch must  have some free flier miles to the economy  version of Paris which, is Morocco.  So LuAnn tells that bitch that beggars can’t be choosers and that all they can afford is Morocco, after all this is a free trip to the ghetto Paris of Europe so her ass better shut up and enjoy it.

LuAnn also makes sure to invite all the other house skanks on this trip, with the hopes that there will be a bitch smack-down Scary Island style and hopefully Kelly will be there too. (Even thought LuAnn says she don’t want Kelly there you know that’s bullshit because they all want to clown on that bitch).

Since LuAnn is the official concierge for Morocco and the self appointed bitch platoon leader she decides to wrangle in all the other bitches and so they are all off to Morocco to cause some shit. Great, now the United States is going to be at war with Morocco. LuAnn warns Ramona to not screw up this trip for everyone and that if she plans to flip out during the trip her ass can stay at home on time-out.

LuAss wants Ramonzon and Jillious to kiss and make up before going on this trip. Then LuAnn shoves a $1.50 key-chain clip on Koala in Ramona’s mouth that Jill gave Ramona to show her that she luuuuuvvees her to death. Literally!

LuAnn then tells Ramona that she looks unhappy and like she sleeps with the devil at night. I wonder if Mario knows he is the devil? After that, LuAnn warns Ramona that her friendship with Jill could end up in the toilet, like  the Jill/Bethenny friendship. Unless Ramona calls Jill up to kiss her ass and make up.

Gonzo decides to do a cooking book, (not another one of those!) about cooking in a $5 dollar busted toaster oven that was picked at the Salvation Army. However, this ‘cook-book’ will not be having any recipes whatsoever, it will only have pictures of Gonzo’s scary ass, corpse-cooch because the bitch decided to do a complete smut-photo-shoot centerfold of her rotted va-jay-jay that will take up the entire book.

Gonzo invited Kelly over to freak her out while doing the vajay-jay photo-shoot.  Gonzo flashes Kelly several times and Kelly is disgusted and appalled so she runs out of Gonzo’s house screaming in traumatized horror. While wearing her pant-less, underwear-less outfit.

Later on LuAnn Kelly and Jill show up to hangout with Cindy for some much needed ass-waxing sessions. 

Kelly starts complaining and crying to the other bitches  about how traumatized she is about seeing Gonzo’s infested corpse-crotch.  They all start talking shit about Gonzo flashing that thing and how horrible it must of been for poor Kelly. Who is more nuts now as the result of this.

 Kelly says she has never seen a woman’s cooch in her life. LuAss wonders how that bitch never seen a cooch but then she realizes that since Kelly doesn’t have one, it makes perfect sense that she’s never seen one.

 LuAnn also says that the reason for Sonja’s cooch-flashing shenanigans is because she learned that shit from hanging around Ramonzon and drinking her Pinot-Moonshiner Backwoods Hooch. I call bullshit on that. Gonzo was already a member of the Old-Hags Gone Wild Club and she’s been flashing her muff way before I was even born.

Kelly then out of the blue-balls-whim starts crying about being in abusive relationships were she is the one doing the ass-kicking and getting hauled away to the male-jail for punching sissy men in the face. Kelly says the worst part was that in men-prison she only met “sharks, minnows, and bottom feeders”. LuAnn holds Kelly and cries with her.

This is were the blondes and brunettes divide started, on the other side of town all the blondes have gathered together for some plastic surgery gone wrong therapy.

Alex says that since she became a model she has to take better care of her skin and so she quit smoking crack. After that, they all get botox injections from a  dirty needle they are all sharing and passing around, that came from the OC bitches biohazard trash.

Gonzo has the fat sucked out of her stomach to avoid sit-ups.

 The discussions turns to the Morocco trip and drug smuggling vaginas.

Kelly says she doesn’t want to go to Morocco because of her fuckdown she had  last time, and she is tired of having to sneak her meth in her Vagina Monocles on the plane when she goes to other countries because the show may turn into ‘Arrested Abroad’. Finally Kelly Looney Tunes admits the real reason for her fear of going on this trip is mainly because of ranging drunken Ramonzon who is only half Kelly Behemoths size but can take her down because when it comes to size, Ramonzon is like a wolverine she is an 80 pound animal that can take on a 200 pound Gorilla. Kelly is the Gorilla.

The other bitches really want Kelly to come (for entertainment, so she can go ball-shits crazy like last time), and Kelly decides to think about it.

Jill is having an anti-bullying fundraiser of some form, for children that are still too young for her to bully. So she will have to wait until their 18. Then she can bully them. Alex shows up to stuff gift bags to this event and Jill warns Alex to keep her pit-bull Ramonzon on a short leash while at the fundraiser.

Ramonzon arrives armed with a case of Pinot Bathtub Moonshine, that is supposed to be donated to the event but the bitch ends up guzzling almost the whole thing by herself before she even arrives.  Ramonzon keeps getting hammered and verbally abusing everyone around her, this includes Jill and the waiters who are now traumatized. Then she goes on a bitch slapping rampage.

LuAnn shows up to save the day and is excited to show up at a fundraiser for bullying so that she can start bullying all the other bitches present. But, specially Ramona whom she walks up to and smacks her in the back of her fat head, for  kidnapping and keeping  designer David Meister in her basement while hogging him from the other bitches and forcing him to spin gold in a wheel while making her old-whore outfits from Satan’s hair.

After a little more slapping around LuAnn tells Ramona no one wants to go with Ramona on this trip to Moroco-co because of her crazy drunken ass and the fact that she scares people. Alex stands by Ramona like her trained bitch ready to jump LuAnn.  Ramonzon finally erupts at LuAnn yelling “I have to answer to you now?”.  It seems that ever since LuAss lost her Countess bought title she has to compensate by bossing and bullying bitches around 110 times more than she did before.

LuAnn insist that Jill confronts Ramona and puts the smack down on that bitch in front of all the guest that payed $200 for a table at this bitch-bullying event. Jill refuses to confront Ramona because she is scared of her and LuAnn stands there taunting Jill about how her big fat ass is scared of Ramona who is burly five feet tall.  I’m sure LuAnn has a chapter in her book that talks about confronting bitches while at charity events and also taunting them into a fight just for shits and giggles because that’s  ‘assy-classy’ just like LuAss.

Kelly Bensimoron arrives pantless, late  and full of meth like always. Then she loudly announces to everybody and their momma that Bravo will fire her punk ass if she doesn’t go to Moroco-co and make a fool of herself.

Ramonzon gets more slurry incoherent and drunk as always and LuAss berates her for having a drinking problem since now the bitch has to haul around a case of vino to stay drunk all day. I have to agree with Countless LuAss, that bitch does have a drinking problem but that’s why she all sorts of scary fun.

Kelly stands there pant-less and telling Ramonzon to wear a longer skirt because she can see her butt-cheeks. Ramona is too drunk to care and when lunch is served and Jill’s stepdaughter Jennifer  gives a speech (Jennifer was bullied as a child and has a condition with her face, I’m not being a clown to this girl) stupid ass Ramona sits there calling the girls face ’deformed’ and yelling at the designer some nonsensical bullshit about her Pinot-Hooch.  And for the first time I sided with Jill because she looked truly hurt by Ramonzon’s insensitive comment at her stepdaughter. That was harsh. Even Alex is pissed off  and embarrassed at that bitches stupidity and lack of sensitivity. Unbelievable!

Ramona decides she hasn’t made enough crazy eyes this season, so she arranges to have a photo-shoot to promote her Crazy Eyes And Wino Vino Skincare line. Ramona’s current assistant is desperately kissing her ass telling her she looks like a young ‘Pamela Anderson’ before all the hepatitis and venereal diseases. The poor assistant is hoping she doesn’t end up at the unemployment line. Like all the other assistants who got the axe from Ramoner while she was on a firing rampage. Usually happens after Ramona had about two cases of wine.

Jill shows up at Cindy’s apartment, where that bitch lives with a gang of people who wipe her arse and nannie her children. She even has two drunken Puerto Rican Leprechauns who punch each other to entertain her kids.

Jill kisses Cindy’s ass and  gets her to agree to punch Ramoners in the back of the head while she downs a glass of wino juice, next time she sees her.  Cindy complains that she lost her dentures in the toilet because she stayed up all night and her horse teeth flew out of her mouth when she jumped up after she got woken up by her children who were up crying all night, thanks to her incompetent nannies who couldn’t shut her loud children up. Cindy is pissed because she told the nannie to use Tequila in the babie’s gums. Not Nyquil.

Chris March of Project Runway, shows up to help Sonja with her costume for her annual block Masquerade Sex Orgy Party. His fat ass complains about having to climb seventeen flights of stairs and he is pissed off  that  Gonzo’s elevator is broken and is being used to store cleaning supplies.

When Gonzo shows him the Martha Washington nappy ass wig that looks like it belonged to the real Martha Washington (because that shit had moths flying out of it), his ass just about has a heart attack and screams in horror at that funky ass smelly wig.

Chris admits that he is scared of that wig specially when Gonzo tells him she used to wear that shit for her special ‘customers’ back at the brothel. As a matter of fact one of her ‘Johns’  bought her the famous wig.

Gonzo also wants Chris to perform his magic and super hoochie-out a Victorian period outfit that she plans to wear with no chones underneath to show off her nasty ass bruise she got when she fell off the horse. Nasty bitch!

And her plan comes along just fine, while at the party Gonzo makes sure she walks around slurring drunken pickup lines at random men and then bends her huge, fat, cottage-cheese, jelly ass over, on top of people’s cheese and crackers, (because that’s what they were serving at her cheap ass party, government cheese and crackers because Sonja is ‘very frugal’).

Gonzo’s plan to get a bootie call hook up for the night backfires because most of the men that see her cottage- cheese ass, end up throwing up or just running out screaming: ‘THERE’S NOT ENOUGH ALCOHOL FOR ME TO FUCK THAT BITCH!’. I guess those men are not fans of the busted-ass, used and abused, tore-up, ganged-banged, 50-year old, raging drunk, whore look. Oh well, maybe next time she shouldn’t have her caterers water down the box wine so much, at least if one of those guys were drunk enough she would of gotten a piece of ass from one of them that night.

Cindy is home dealing with her weird ass family dynamics, and having a hard time getting her sperm donor number one, getting along with sperm donor number two because the two sperm donors used to date and Cindy and her sperm donor number two also used to date. So sperm donor number one (Howie who is also Cindy’s brother) decides to leave because he can’t stand sperm donor number two (Kevin the ex). Damn I’m confused now!

Kevin decides that babies can fly or be bounced around like basketballs and Cindy bites him in the ass with her horse choppers until Kevin leaves crying like a little bitch. But then again standing next to Donkey Teeth he feels like a little bitch.

Speaking of Donkey Teeth Cindy goes to the dentist and drags Jill with her so that Jill can dictate to the dentist how to do his job and fix Donkey’s teeth.

The dentist is horrified and disgusted with Donkey Teeth’s Satan’s breath. He is also talking to Jill and clowning about how ‘Horsey’ this bitches teeth look, and he is trying very hard to make them even ‘horsier’. Jill tries to direct the dentist on how to make this bitches teeth appear horsier, but the dentist gets tired of her fat, ignorant-mouth, and kicks her out of the room.

Ramoner gets cornered by a hopeful future House Skank name Jennifer. This is the woman that was getting married when Alex, Ramona and Jill were at that reception where Jill tried to get Alex tarred, feathered and kicked out of the reception for wearing white. But it didn’t work.

Now the bride Jennifer is here telling Ramoner all the asshole shenanigans that Jill tried to pull at her wedding reception including Jill’s pestering questions about how come she invited low life wrong side of the Brooklyn tracts Silex and why is she friends with raging alcoholic Ramona. Ramona is appalled at Jill’s antics and calls Jill an ‘abusive’ bitch.

Countless LuAnn de FuFu is now a wino experto, so she questions Ramoner over what type of tubs is she using to make her Pinot De Wino Moonshiner. Ramona gets pissed off at LuAss for asking her questions she don’t know the answer to, and pisses in LuAnn’s glass of vino and LuAnn being such an expert can’t tell the difference.

While eating pizza and screaming. Ramoner confronts Jilliousy about running her diarrhea mouth to Jennifer and of course a big ol’e bitch smack- down occurs. Like a perfect trailer-park, domestic violence couple, they take the screaming-circus-fest outside, leaving Jill crying like a little bitch.

Ramonzon goes back inside the party and by this time the Pinot Wino Vino is at it’s peak of drunk and as a result of that, Ramona’s crazy eyes are bulging out of her skull making her twitch and she is ready for a fists fight. In the wake of her drunken crazy she even smacks Jennifer for being in the line of fire.

Jill  confronts Jennifer and doesn’t let her get in a word edgewise and warns her that next time, she feels like babbling her loose-lip, she is going to shove a stiletto up her culo and she better come to Queen-Bee Jill next time there is a problem. Then she calls her a stupid bitch.You know, they need to just stick these ho’s in a metal cage and let them go at it.

On this mess, Silex get their kid a piano that came with a weird penis I mean pianist-dude and it freaked out little Frankie.  When Frankie tried to play the piano Alex tells him he can’t touch it  because it is for decoration and not to touch with his dirty little grubby Cheeto-hands and Frankie is disappointed because he really wanted a drum-set so that he can join a real loud band. BUT NOOOOO!!!

Sonja plays referee to Kelly and Ramona’s confrontation. And the two bitches dress like S&M porn-whores, but what else is old. Ramoners apologizes to Kelly for drunk text dialing her at midnight and Kelly accepts, but first she bitches Ramona out for clowning on her for being a nut case and a meth-whore, who lost her marbles at Scary Island. 

More confrontations happen when Sonja calls Cindy to come over her house alone, this way Sonja can bitch-slap her for telling Kelly about Sonja’s plans to punk Kelly at her ‘Toaster Oven Cooking Party’.  Cindy decides she doesn’t want to deal with this bitche’s bullshit right now, and so she pulls one of Gonzo’s male house-bitches and dances with him.

Gonzo is not very amused since she is the only one allowed to dance with her man-servant. Gonzo gets pissed that Donkey Teeth is ignoring her and so she rips her away from the male house-bitch and berates her for mingling with the help and remains her that only Gonzo is allowed to fuck the help.

 Then, she bitch slaps Cindy right on the Horse Teeth and bitches her out  for not having Pinot Grigio ready for Ramonzon at Cindy’s own birthday party she yells, “Ramona Singer’s a star, and you have to understand that,”. 

Gonzo also monkey punches Horsie for forcing all the other bitches  to go to the gettho of Quogue. She berates Cindy, “None of us wanted to go to Quogue”. Then Gonzo explains the order of the pecker- pecking order to Cindy, who sits there with her mouth wide open and confused. Of course this bitch can’t close her mouth with those horse teeh it is permanently open.

Since Countless LuAnn is a certified wine expert (she learned that expertise in the bedroom from new boy-toy Peppi Lapoop while she was on all fours, tying his shoe -laces) she shows up to Ramoner’s Vino and Hoochie Wear Party, just to point out and school Ramoners on how ignorant she is about Pinot Grigio Moonshine Wine, and how they make it in bathtubs during the full moon on top of a Pentagram and not in barrells in the backwoods  of New Jersey by Barney Devito like she told everybody else. Then the Countless, tells her she probably doesn’t even know why is called Pinot. Of course Ramoners is clueless but so is the Countless who’s only pretending she knows all the ins and outs of wine making and knows that Ramoners doesn’t know anything about wine so she is just fucking with her for fun.

Cindy meets Kelly in Central Park to go score some Park Meth from a crack-head. And while they are scouting for street drugs they run into Jill who is also there to buy her fix. Cindy informs Kelly what a fucked up bitch Gonzo is, and she can shove her pecking order in the deepest part of her fat culo.  Jill hopes she is top Queen Bee on that Pecker Order.

Sonja Gonzo-Nose can’t keep her crusty Chones on this season, and she seems to have a raging desperation to show her fat ass to everyone and their grandpapi. So she decides to dress up like a fallen Rainbow Brite Prostitute child and arranges a raunchy photo shoot for a calendar, were some sort of an all male baseball/firefighter team is present while she runs around with a short mini skirt and no chones! This is the second time this bitch does this shit! (Next episode she pulls the same underwear less- shit and since this recap was late I can mention it without spoiling!) And again she manages to gross out a room full of men, who are now hurling in their baseball caps.

Dumb delusional bitch thinks they’re drooling over her, but in reality they’re puking and at the same time managing to  laugh at her  and asking among themselves ‘who is the vintage tore-up, crack-whore and how did she get past security?’ After that they all turned gay. NICE GOING SONJA!

Later on Kelly and LuAss show up to visit Gonzo for her Toaster Oven Cooking Party. The bitch is all bragging that she’s cooked for royalty on her busted up toaster oven from the 70′s that she picked up at the thrift store a few years back. It is also held together by duct tape. Gonzo manages to fix a delicious fish meal for LuAnn and Kelly and they complain that the portion is tiny so they decide they’re hitting Taco Bell later. After they ditch Gonzo.

Jilliousy decides to iron things out with Alex and bravely heads out to the Brooklyn ghetto section-8 projects, where Alex lives amongst the New York gangs and drug dealers. Jill clowns on Alex and says,  she can tell Alex doesn’t work out because she has noodle arms and an old mans’ beer belly plus a serious case of Hillbilly Teeth.  Nothing like a real insult before a fake apology! And Jill is the expert on that shit.

Like I said before in another recrap these bitches are always ‘clearing the air’  they should just call it what it really is ‘throwing more turd-logs in that fucked up fire’.

 Ramoner gets super coked out because she is also having her ‘throwing more turd-logs in that fucked up fire’ meeting with Donkey Teeth and tells that bitch that she doens’t know what the fuck she is talking about because she hasn’t been happily married for 18 years, to a faithful man that worships her. Cindy bustes up laughing at Ramonzon for being an ignorant moron whose husband is pulling an Arnold with the maid and Ramoners eyes are about to bulge out of her skull because not only is she flamingly pissed at Donkey Teeth for being stupid but also the coke she snorted earlier was laced with some questionable PCP making Ramonzon’s eyes ten times more violent. After Ramonzon is done kicking Horsie in the teeth she walks away laughin like a evil-super villain.

This season of the Real House Skanks Of New York highlighted Ramona Singer’s drinking problem and everyone has noticed what a raging drunk she is, as stated all over the Internet. However,  Ramona is now saying that she really doesn’t drink all that much and that the real reason why they are highlighting her drinking skills this season, was because she asked Bravo to make this season’s story-line focused on her love for white wine so that she may promote her Pinot Midnight Bathtub Moonshine.

It seems to me that what happened was that Ramona at first really wanted Bravo to push the booze by making herself appear like a stumbling drunken-bitch (which she  already is anyways) and now she is worried that everyone has finally confirmed the already suspected drinking problem we all knew this bitch had. Click here for a video on Ramona talking about her drunkeness.

From ivillage:

Cindy invited Sonja to shopping and lunch in some dangerous neighborhood in downtown TriBeCa. While those bitches are at some downtown boutique Cindy reveals that her  cheap ass horse dentures fell off the night before, when she was stumbling around the alleys of New York drunk off her ass and woke up behind the bar with some random dude on the filthy cement ground, face down, with a chipped horse denture. The exact details of the previous night are a blur to Cindy so no one knows exactly what happened.

Cindy is carrying around her broken horse dentures in a sandwich baggie and  she also admits she carries Fixodent in her purse because that’s what people over 56 with dentures do. Then, she sits there and starts to cement her teeth together, in front of a mirror, at this boutique where they are shopping. The stinky denture breath scares customers away so the owner comes over to see if everything is okay and forces Sonja to purchase a hoochie getup or get out.

Gonzo ignores the sales lady then goes after Cindy, whining to her plus expecting and demanding lunch. Gonzo is starving and the bitch is seeing flying sandwiches and shit,  fantasizing about the chi-chi restaurant Donkey Teeth is taking her to.

Suddenly Cindy starts to beat around the bush about taking Gonzo to lunch because she is literally holding an emergency in a Ziploc bag in her hand.

When Gonzo starts to ask ‘when are you taking me to lunch?’ And repeats that shit 58 times in a row. Donkey Teeth throws a sparkly, truck stop, motel hooker, dress across the room to distract Gonzo and tries to bolt out the door, but Gonzo is determined to get that free lunch. So, she catches poor Donkey Teeth ass Cindy before she can bail out and continues harassing Cindy about buying her lunch.

Bitch My Teeth Fell Off!!!!

Even though Cindy  invited Sonja to lunch her ass isn’t about to walk around that restaurant with her front teeth missing. So finally she says FUCK IT! And yells at Gonzo: BITCH MY TEETH FELL OFF!!  But, Gonzo won’t give up. That bitch is starving, she’s tired of giving hobos blow jobs to buy top Ramen. So she keeps pestering Cindy for a free lunch.

Cindy barks back at Sonja: Lunch?!! What do you mean lunch? Bitch are you that broke that you need me to buy you lunch.  How ’bout this bitch, you go down to the corner and buy a 5 dollar hot dog?!

Gonzo was all: No I’m broke I don’t even have 5 bucks. Can you at least give me 5 bucks for a hot dog? And another 5 bucks for a diet Pepsi? Plus I’m gonna need 20 bucks to score some NY alley meth.

And Cindy responded: WTF? Are you stupid? What the hell did you think this is a date? It’s not like you put out bitch!

HA HA HA!!! It was funny shit. Specially watching Sonja beg Cindy to take her to lunch.

After that bullshit Sonja said she wants to have a ‘toaster oven, cooking party’ because the NY ho’s haven’t had one yet (I don’t think), and her intention is to lock Kelly and a drunken Ramoner in a room with a heavy door that has a window, so everyone can watch those two bitches rip each other’s hair off. Cindy says to Sonja that she doesn’t think that’s a good idea. Gonzo says that those bitches are either going to do it HER way, or get thrown out of her house. I guess that’s a favorite move of Gonzo.

Then, Cindy takes her Fixodent and her dentures and takes off to the dentist to get her shit fixed and Gonzo is left in downtown TriBeCa where she has to walk home late into the night, through the armpit of the ghetto neighborhood,  just to get home.

Cindy bounces out of there and doesn’t give a shit that she left Gonzo in the middle of that scary hood because Cindy is downtown and ghetto like that. Plus she thought it was funny to leave Gonzo alone in the ghetto there, with no ride. (Because she really took the bus there, she didn’t have a driver that was bullshit) How awkward and sad.

Later on LuAnn has a little get together. Sonja, Cindy and LuAnn are getting hammered already and Cindy blabs out that she is having an un-birthday party in ‘Quogue’. Sonja says that she doesn’t go to Quogue because that’s the ghetto and LuAnn gives a little background on ‘Quoque’ being one of the Hampton’s low rent neighborhoods that people of their caliber wouldn’t be caught dead in.

LuAnn starts busting up laughing and clowning on Cindy’s invitation saying ‘I don’t do Quogue!’ Poor Donkey Teeth Cindy. Bitch just sits there not knowing what to do, looking like a dumb ass, all shocked, confused and horrified while LuAnn and Gonzo take center stage with their back and forth loud bantering at Donkey Teeth and her ghetto ass sad party invitation.

Cindy cannot get a word in edgewise while loud ass drunken and possibly coked out Gonzo keeps on shooting the insults at her and enjoying herself. She even tells Cindy to shove the junk mailers from her hair removing spa up her ass, and all kinds of other crazy shit like that. I guess she still pissed because Cindy didn’t take her to Cipriani’s for lunch.

And because the Countless and Gonzo are good at twisting things around to blame the dumb ass they are snubbing at the time, they both make a lame attempt at lying and accuse Cindy of not sending an invitation to her party. Cindy then has the ‘ARE THEY TAKING CRAZY PILLS?’ stunned look in the face, and insist she send the invitation to both those skanks.

When those two bitches realize Cindy did send the invitation and she caught them lying; they just lie more and  each one tries to come up with their lame excuses and either blame their incompetent assistants or the Internet for failing to get the invitation. Donkey Teeth just sits there staring at them with her ‘I’m shocked and horrified’ facial expression.

Then just to be a bitch and make sure Cindy knows she is being snubbed Sonja starts randomly  babbling out some yelling spewage about getting invited to shitty parties: “Wrong place, wrong time, wrong food, wrong drinks,”. And Donkey Teeth looks like she is going to start pulling her hair out and cry.

Then all of a sudden the door blows open and Ramoner is standing there in her full hurricanal glory, she stomps in screaming “I need a Pinot Grigio immediately. White wine!, right away.”  This season they are not only highlighting Silex’s alcoholism, but also Ramoner’s.

Alex comes in trailing behind Ramona like her trained monkey wearing a caveman vest. Cindy sits there with her horrified worried facial expressions some more, this time she looks like she really shit her Depends.

Ramoners gets nice and drunk and proceeds to question the Countless on her parenting skills. “So I heard yer children arre rruunning arrround wild in the streets of the Hamptons at night. While yerr in New Yawk screwing Poopie La P.U.” The Countless admits she is out in NY only a couple of nights a week (which can turn into 5 nights a week), and she leaves her children with random homeless people to watch them in the Hamptons.

Ramona slurs more drunken insults: ‘Yerr a slut and a weekend mom!. LuAnn tries to defend herself with the lame comeback that she’s in the city working on making music. When we all know the only music the bitch is making is with Poopie La P.U.

While all this fuckery is going on, Cindy tells Kelly Sonja’s plans to force Kelly and Ramona to kiss and make up via death cage lock-down.

Bigfoot ass Kelly continues to try to convince everyone that she is afraid of Ramoner, specially when that bitch is nice and drunk. Yet, everywhere she goes to hang out and party with the other bitches, is where Ramona is hanging out and partying. So once again, Kelly doesn’t make sense.

So of course the next day Bigfoot invites all the bitches Ramona included, for  a charity dog walk. Once again these ho’s make the event all about their own drama. So, Ramona cries to LuAnn about her cigar dilemma with Cindy’s brother and goes all balls out crying about that drama.

Sonja and Kelly walk their dogs, and Sonja tries to persuade Kelly to attend her toaster cooking party to try to force her to make amends with Ramona. While Kelly and Sonja are having this conversation about why Bigfoot doesn’t want anything to do with drunken ass, Pinot Grigio wino, Ramoners Kelly suddenly drops to the ground and starts doing sand angels. Gonzo says that this crazy ass bitch needs meds.

Kelly invites Sonja to go horseback riding. And Gonzo proceeds to ride the horse all crazy. She jumps on the horse and starts yelling ‘YAH, YAH!!’  She digs her spurs on the horse then, she wips it.  The horse starts going nuts and this starts to freak Kelly out who starts yelling to Sonja to be careful or she will fall off the horse.

The horse is all over the place with Sonja on its back barely hanging on, while the horse is riding away, after teasing Gonzo for a while the horse decides it’s time to toss that annoying bitch off its back. Horses are smart animals, they can sense when someone is a jerk, and know when it’s time to throw a bitch off its back. It was Kelly’s turn in her first season joining the cast and it’s Sonja’s turn this time.

Gonzo lands right on her ass and breaks it. But the dumb bitch gets up like nothing happened while holding her ass crack together so she doesn’t shit her pants. She’s pretty tough, walking around with a broken ass. But I guess decades of walking around that golden apple will do that to you. This was the best part of the whole episode and I love it because every time Sonja does something fucked up she keeps looking like a fool. Last time with the fugly ass painting where she looked like a propped up corpse who’s fanning her queefes out, and this time she got thrown off a horse. So Karma is doing her job.

After Gonzo gets up, and starts dragging her broken butt away, she is blaming Kelly for falling off the horse and says it’s all Kelly’s fault.

When all the bitches go to Quoge expect Sonja. Ramoners shows ups demanding Pinot Grigio. Again. LuAnn says that Ramoners has a bad case of the Pinot Grigio Polar Syndrome. I think Ramoners is just a drunk.

How come, this whole episode reminded me of that one show Intervention? Ramonzon gets all worried too, she looks like a fucking junkie that’s going to start climbing the walls after she asks Cindy if she has her Pinot Grigio. Cindy tells her that they will have it and Ramona starts twitching. Watch that part again she starts to twitch and looks like she’s going to start climbing the walls. Cindy assures her that she will get her Pinot Grigio fix and Ramoner gets all worried. It was crazy. But after they get some wine in her belly, Ramona just goes ass shit.

After Ramona throws that junkie buggie dance, over the wine, she chases after Kelly who is supposedly scared of her and is trying to ditch her. Kelly then distracts Ramona by sending her off to play as if the bitch was 8 years old. Ramona is insulted and not digging that shit.

Running with the horsewife theme of this episode Cindy’s un-birthday party also has horses. I guess Bravo was hopping for two people to fall.

When Ramona sees the horses she jumps on one and starts trying to do the  same shit Sonja was doing earlier that got her thrown off the horse. But luckily this time we have a responsible horse babysitter or whatever you call that lady that was there making sure the horse didn’t go bat-shit crazy with a drunken bitch on top of it and who told Ramona ‘HELL NO!’. When that bitch wanted to start wiping the horse and take it for a joy ride around the whole farm while chogologing Pinot Grigio from the bottle.

After Ramona is denied her right to run amuck, on top of a mustang in a farm terrifying party goers, she gets frustrated and decides it’s time to go fuck with Cindy’s brother Howie, about the whole cigar fiasco. She wobbles all drunk over where he is at, and proceeds to question him about the cigar he was smoking that belonged to Ramona’s dead friend whom Howie’s wife used to be married to. Howie freaks out and he walks away avoiding the drunken crazy lady. But Ramona continues to follow him and bitch him out about why he was smoking that cigar and blah, blah, blah.

During this whole time Howie’s big ass bodyguard wife gets in between him and Ramona.  Isn’t that the same bitch that was at the wedding? When I first saw this episode I thought that big bitch was Cindy. FOR REAL! I thought that, they do look like twins and those bitches were wearing the same L7 flannel shirt, which made it harder to tell them apart.

Finally the real Cindy steps in and berates Ramona and tells her to cut the shit out she yells at Ramona: ‘ ABSOLUTELY NOT!’, Cindy puts Ramona in her place and tells her she needs to stop being a crazy ass bitch.

Ramona gets all emotional and crazy drunk and tells Cindy she’s shaking because she has to deal with this cigar debacle. Cindy says she don’t give a rat’s ass this bitch is shaking she’s freaking out her 80 year old parents.

Suddenly just as Ramona’s crazy was flaring up it went down when a crisis involving dip happened. Then everyone is happy again. Nothing like dip to solve the worlds problems.

Last week Jill Zarin went out in public looking a little less hagered and  more stretched in the face than usual. Obviously she had something done, but didn’t want to admit having a face transplant.  When asked by Popeater she said, “If I did, I would be the first to admit it,”   and also  ”When I had my breast reduction I was very open about it.”.

 Althought she is denying having procedures done professional Doctors, that are professional, have also given their expert opinions about Jill’s face looking freshly butchered and rearranged.

 Dr. Michael Salzhauer told the blog Realitytea:“It appears that Jill Zarin has had a nose job or Rhinoplasty to narrow and lift the tip of her nose.”

And also  Dr. Jennifer Walden told Popeater she believes Jillousy got her face butchered a few times and got a nose job, “It appears Jill Zarin has had injectables like Botox to her crow’s feet and forehead, as well as possible fillers to the nasolabial folds, or laugh lines,” she ads. “Also, it looks like she has had a rhinoplasty (or nose job), which served to straighten and narrow her nose.”

Jill Zarin still insist she did not have a face lift or anything like that she just had her doctor inject a lot of battery acid and chupacabra blood, from a baby chupacabra, while on top of a pentagram and supposedly this works wonders.

Today she gave an interview to People, “I have a liquid face lift every six months,” She also came up with a good one  said she did not have a nose job but states  her makeup artist drew her a new nose, “He put brown contouring makeup on my nose and thinned it out,”.

 She even paid her makeup artist to cover for her lying ass  had her makeup artist back her up. He said, “We also made her face look thinner by airbrushing the sides and hairline two shades darker,”  and also. “Before she was just using TV makeup, which didn’t give any dimension.”

So that’s the explanation that took her a couple of days to pull out of her ass. Sonja Morgan, Ramona Singer and also house skank Simone Van Kempen , all gave their opinions on these bitches’ recent possible face transplant.

And although I didn’t mention this last week on this blog, what was up with that bitches super bout of crazy when she demanded a recount on the polls? For real bitch? How can she still think that after all the shit she talks and does that people still like her? And when she sees that they don’t like her rather than accept the truth, she goes into a hurricane level bitch fit and even threatens the network that writes her paycheck with a lawsuit if they don’t recount that shit. And how the fuck is she gonna sit there and force people to vote for her by tweeting and all this begging annoying shit, and what is she gonna do if they refuse to vote for her, threaten the audience or her fans that no longer like her with a lawsuit?

 This makes me wonder who is she surrounded by all day. Is she surrounded by ‘yee’s maam’ peons all day, that are paid by Bawby to kiss her Royal Pain In The Highness hiney and delete all negative comments from all her social media methods so that she will shut the hell up and be happy, and her husband can run around all day minus her nagging ass?

 Sequine Rainbow Dust Coming Out Of The Closet With Naggy Corpse Bride

All the bitches (except for Ramona, Jill and that new bitch Mr. Ed) gather at Sonja’s house to get ready for the marriage equality march that Alex and Simon strongly support and are both part of the committee. The bitches borrowed some wedding gowns from a designer so that they can walk to the march dressed as brides and looking crazy. Gonzo’s fat ass can’t zip up the dresses and tries to blame it on her rib cage, but in reality it’s her fat ass so instead she has to wrap a white wedding day garbage bag around her fat ass. Alex chooses the fugliest plain dress that doesn’t flatter her Olive Oil figure. Gonzo starts yapping about how she named herself Grand Marshal of the equality march and how this is her day and this day it’s all about her. Alex goes into spokesperson mode about how this is for the cause, but you can tell the bitch is losing her shit because she makes those crazy bitch faces and grinds her teeth.  They all leave Gonzo’s house dressed in wedding gowns looking like they’re crazy.

This must be the ‘Let’s fuck with Alex’ season because the minute they all get to the march Alex and Simon learn that Gonzo pulled an asshole spoiled bitch move and hijacked Simon’s speech therefore her true colors came out of the closet just like Simone’s sequin rainbow Liza Minelly show girl jacket came out.

 Poor Alex, but specially poor Simone. You can tell Simon has been waiting patiently for this moment like a little girl waits for her Christmas presents and the worst part is, when they find out that asshole Sonja demanded that Simon and anybody else from the skank clan be cut from the podium because somebody named Sonja a ‘gay icon’ and since Sonja looks like she used to be a dude  specially with those size 17 shoes and she’s drunk and looking for random dick all the time, she felt that the name fits her. Miss ‘gay icon’ lets that name go to her fat head and she decides she is going to jump head first into the ‘Let’s fuck with Silex’ wagon and act completely obnoxious and narcissistic by repeating every five minutes like a broken record ‘It’s all about me, it’s all about me, me, me, me’.

 Meanwhile Alex and Simone are trying to make their point across to Gonzo, about how important it is  for Simone to give his speech because he’s been waiting for 3 seasons of the house skanks, to take the rest of the rainbow Elton John sequin jacket out of the pink closet and not just a teaser sleeve. Gonzo ignores Silex who have now become like a 2 headed bark machine and puts her fingers in her ears as she jumps around chanting at the top of her lungs, IT’S ALL ABOUT ME! IT’S ALL ABOUT ME! IT’S ALL ABOUT ME!

 Gonzo doesn’t even know what the cause is for exactly or why, all she knows it’s that its about ‘our gays’. Plus there’s cameras and  she also wants to fuck with Silex because she is part of the ‘mean bitch that married her grandpa for money club’. So she  makes sure that Simon is removed from giving a speech.

Of course Simone and Alex look pathetic when they’re yelling and begging to that fuglyhag to allow Simon the podium and she of course knows damn well she can just say ‘ok’ and it’s not gonna hurt anything. But, Gonzo enjoys watching those 2 beg she loves being on the power trip that she can fuck up someones shit like this, specially when that person is more qualified to give that speech and has a personal interest invested in this cause that Sonja doesn’t really give a shit about.

Watch the sick bitch she very clearly perversely enjoys watching Silex beg, while she brags how it’s all about her and ignores them like they’re 2 cockroaches below her feet. That’s okay thought because later on Karma smacks this bitch in the leather face, and we learn what her paid boyfriend really thinks of her.

Jill arrives at the last minute but not because she supports this cause since, she didn’t even march or anything she is  just there  because there are cameras there, and she is hoping to catch some drama. Or start some.

When Jillousy arrives stupid Alex makes the mistake she always makes with these ho’s by trying to reason with them and proceeds to talk to Jill about how Simon was cut from giving a speech. “Well Sonja’s got a speech. They asked you too to speak right? They asked Simon to speak.” Since Jillousy hates Alex and anything Alex says to Jill is an excuse to freak out on her, she decides to get in touch with her inner brat and throw a fit designed for an 8 year old,“I don’t know. You have a misunderstanding… Everyone knew when they asked me that I had a wedding this weekend. I don’t know why you keep making such a big issue out of it. Leave me alone. Just leave me alone! Stop picking on me. Stop picking on me! You’ve been picking on me since you saw me. Just leave me alone!”.

 Alex stands there looking at this yelling bitch with a WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS BITCH look.  After Jillousy gets done abusing Alex, she moves on to mentally mind fucking  her, and forces Alex to high five her and forces Alex to promise to have fun and support  Miss Gay Icon, the self appointed Grand Marshal Gonzo, who just cut Alex’s gay husband out of his speech for no reason, but simply to shit on something that’s important to the Silex unit.

 Surprisingly during this episode Kelly Behemoth Looney Tunes is the only one who realizes these bitches are embarrassing themselves by arguing over the cause. And during the course of the argument over whose day or cause it was, Silex and Gonzo forget what the fuck they are there for.

When Gonzo goes up to  deliver her speech that she prepared for many, many months in a convent by Tibetian monks she yells HEY LETS GET NAKED!!! ANYBODY WANTS TO COME HOME WITH ME!! Followed by a couple of coughs and some crickets.

 Also this season Alex is gulping hooch like an Irish sailor on payday  in almost every scene this season. Simon is also sporting the bloated alcoholic I start drinking at 9 am hung over look.

 Because Simon had to give his speech come hell or high water, they invited all the ho’s to come over their house in Brooklyn. Did they all teleport? 

While all the bitches are at Silex’s Alex yells at one of her kids not to crawl up Jillousy’s leg  because he’s about to. Simon then announces he is giving the beautiful speech that these bitches and the gay community which he is a part of, missed out on. And he pretty much just admits what we all knew all along, which was no surprise to me and that is, the fact that, he swings both ways, depending on the day. But, on the day he met Alex it was easier to marry an Alexandra than an Alex  and play house with an anorexic pale dry bone that has the figure of a very skinny guy with no dick, in order to obtain a precious green card. Unlike Sonja, I wasn’t confused about Simon admitting he likes it in the front and in the back, but rather I was more  confused about  admitting he married for a green card.

Since this whole episode is all about Sonja. She continues feeding her inflated ego and this time through her paid artist/ gigolo boyfriend, who is doing a painting of her. Gonzo stops by Brian’s house to look at the unfinished painting of herself and upon walking in, notices a large picture of a hot young girl that her paid boyfriend admits he painted for himself. At that moment I could tell Sonja wasn’t liking that shit. Watch that part again.

 But, it all gets progressively worse because when Gonzo demands to look at her own portrait, which, is still only a sketch. You can hear the disappointment in her voice and the shock in her face when she looks at that sketch and she looks like an old 87 year old seahag that works at the docks cleaning seagull poop. Notice how this guy truly expresses how he really feels about Gonzo and she is not liking that shit. And what the fuck is she wearing? She looks like a grandma with that granny get-up and her hair all up. Gonzo then starts demanding to her paid boy toy that he fixes the painting and makes her look 30 instead of 80. And he was having a hard time answering that shit so he lies and tells her YEAH, YEAH, YOU WILL LOOK YOUNGER IN THE PAINTING ONCE IS FINISHED, he says this just to shut her up then kicks her out of his apartment all the while  knowing he only has so much material to work with and making her look young would be lying on the painting.

Countless LuAnn and Gonzo meet up to plot Silex murder.

Finally it’s the big day of the portrait unveiling. Remember the cute brown hair young girl in the painting that Brian told Gonzo he painted for himself? Yeah, well she is the first guest that shows up to the event at Gonzo’s house. And as soon as she walks in the door and sees Brian she jumps on him and dry humps his leg, then she sticks her tongue down his throat. 

Since Brian is only Gonzo’s employee he doesn’t have to explain shit to Gonzo, nor can she  say anything  to him about whom he’s fucking on the side. But, we all know damn well she was fuming. And I bet that when the cameras left, Sonja and Brian got into a big fight over that other girl he’s porking, whom I bet only showed up to laugh at Gonzo’s portrait and make Gonzo jealous by dry humping Brian in front of Gonzo. NICE!

Gonzo brags that she is such a kind person because, even after she got Simon cut from giving the speech at the march and all the other  shit that day she put Simon and Alex through, like acting like an obnoxious asshole, she still invited Alex to the unveiling of her painting. Alex shows up dressed in a bondage dress she borrowed out of Simone’s closet and the bitch is wearing no bra. That dress doesn’t even fit her and it doesn’t do any good hiding her problem areas like her beer belly that sticks out more than her boobs.

Right after Alex and her horrendous outfit show up to Gonzo’s house, Gonzo is ready to ‘clear the air and corners Alex to talk about what happened the other day at the march. Sonja’s idea of clearing the so-called air is by berating Alex for standing up to her, for cutting Simon out of the speech. And to ad insult to injury Gonzo turns up the obnoxious and purposely forgets Simon’s name. Alex was standing there with her mouth wide open. “Simon, is that your husband’s name?”. Then, she threatens Alex by saying some shit about if Simon ever gets up in her ear like that again there would be problems. So yeah, her way of clearing up things was by not only berating Alex but, also belittling, scolding, threatening her all while using an obnoxious and condescending tone of voice.  What a bitch!

Of course Alex flips out, because that was a pretty low life thing of Gonzo to do. When Gonzo sees that Alex is not kneeling down to kiss her ring and feet and bend to Gonzo’s will and demands, Gonzo accusses Alex of having the worst manners and kicks Alex out of her house. This is when Alex turns up the crazy and refuses to leave until she is heard, causing a big ol’ scene that makes Alex look more crazy and ridiculous than Gonzo, who is the one that deserves to have her head ripped off by Alex.

And just to rub more salt in Alex’s wounds, Gonzo also proudly admits that she prevented Simon from giving the speech at the march.“I said I would speak if they would come to me outside of our group and to me alone,”. After the big blowup was over Alex finally leaves, and she walks home at night on the streets looking like a hooker, in her ridiculous crack-whore getup, and proceeds to call Simon who stayed home on babysitting duty  ’cause their broke asses can’t afford a nanny anymore since they’re both unemployed.

While standing on the street corner crying to Simon on the phone, the men in the background discuss going over to propositioned her because they thought she was a prostitute until one of them said he believed she was a tranni and being homophobes they decided to not approach her.

 Before storming out of Gonzo’s house, Alex should of just taken off one of those horrible hooker shoes she was wearing and used them as weapons on Gonzo because that nasty bitch deserved a stiletto up her culo .

When the portrait is about to be unveiled Gonzo just pushes her paid boyfriend Brian out of the way, and doesn’t give him any credit.Right when the painting  is unveiled you can hear the gasp of horror from everyone in the room.

 In this episode alone we get to see Gonzo’s nasty, narcissistic, attitude get slapped in the ego by the hand of  Karma when her paid boyfriend Brian revealed the painting, that he did so accurate of her and he shows the world that he sees Sonja as an oversexed narcissistic aging fugly bitch like everyone else does. Yes, I see that he is a really good artist he really brought out the 50 years of blowjob lines around her mouth . And he really captured the blue in the varicose veins on her shrivily legs that are not long for this world. Even the spread leg pose that the artist chose for this portrait reflects Sonja’s profession of many years.

Sonja  tries to play it off like this dude made some fantastic painting of her. Which he did because he capture the essence of  her ugly, and showed Sonja and the world what he really thought of her. Also he kept fucking with her throughout the episode, when he continued dissing her,  from telling her he is doing some other bitch on the side that he painted to inviting the side bitch to the made shift art gallery at Sonja’s for the unveiling of that awful yet accurate painting he did of her. And I know this stuck up broad was crying later.

  That was truly disgusting how Gonzo treated Silex. Even though Simon and Alex are crazy, fame-whoring, status climbing, wannabees and Alex has been acting like a psycho bitch too, ever since the season started and approaches things the wrong way, plus she doesn’t know how to argue for shit and wears S&M dresses with no bra and fugly-ass ‘Herman Monster shoes’, that still doesn’t give Gonzo the right to treat those people that way and get Simon booted from the speech. Besides he’s bi so he was better and more qualified at giving that speech anyways and he deserved to do that.

Gonzo was just being a bitch and just wanted to enjoy having the power to cut him and watch him and Alex argue beg and lose their shit, while she just acted like she wasn’t listening to them. I remember last season everyone was loving Sonja. She may be able to fool some people some time but she can’t fool everyone all the time and I knew that bitch was a narcissistic nasty asshole I could tell,  she  gave me that vibe.