Kim Zolciak talked to The Hollywood Reporter about her new show, her wigless bald head and her drama with her mother at her wedding.

Kim talks about how she will take off her wig, and everyone in America will get to see the three hairs she has on her bald head:

 “Well, you get to see my real hair,”

Kim also talks about how there will be drama between her and her mother. I reported months about how Kim kicked her own mother out of her wedding, by having the police remove her and we will get to see what events led up to that. Apparently there is also some bullshit drama that brews between Kim and her best friend of many years:

“People are going to get to see Kroy’s family and they’re going to get to see some drama between my mother and myself, between my best friend of 12 years and myself, and just the stress and excitement of planning a wedding in a short amount of time and then the actual event — which was just amazing — with a little bit of drama.”

THR also tried to get Kim to spill the beans on her new baby’s gender but, she wouldn’t give it up:

No, I’m not going to give you the scoop on that, but he’s so friggin’ cute. I mean, it’s adorable, like I just can’t believe that I’m pregnant again, I’m going through it again. I can’t believe it. He, she, I call it a “he” just because of [my first son] KJ I  think, but you know, she whatever it is, that baby’s healthy and adorable so I’m so excited.

Kim also revealed that the current baby she is preggers with was planned. WELL DUH!! Of course the baby was planned Kim needs to make sure she gets those fat child support checks for another 18 years plus:

Planned though, planned. Once we got married, we just said we’re going to try. There’s a lot of speculation about whether it’s a he or she. We did want to make sure that it was the correct gender before we went out and told people, so we literally just left. I had not had a chance to talk to Kroy on how we’re going to tell people, but I know there’s a lot of speculation.

Kim also insists Marlo Hampton is a nasty escort and expects us to believe her and Marlo are not cut from the same dirty chones:

Let’s be honest, Marlo is known for being an escort, like she’s known for that… It’s common knowledge in Atlanta. If you want to spread your legs and make money, then so be it, but don’t comment on somebody that had a full on four-and-a-half year relationship with somebody, and is now married, expecting a second child with her husband, and bring up some nonsense, or ever imply that my husband would use Big Poppa’s ring to purchase this one. I was on Twitter this morning going off on people saying Kroy makes $550,000 dollars or whatever, whether Kroy made that or not is really irrelevant. Kroy made a hell of lot more than that, but that’s nobody’s business. Kroy designed my ring, spent a ton of money on my ring. It was really important to Kroy that I have a beautiful ring, and I was surprised by my ring. But to ever insult Kroy like that, it’s just gross. She’s just gross.

Kim also pretends that she didn’t want all the details of her wedding to leak and says she had no idea how all the details got out on the internet:

It will play out a little bit. I called a friend of mine, Perez Hilton, and was just like, “I need some advice.” And I don’t think I’m too big for my britches, I just know how Twitter works and I wanted the event to be private. I wanted to just enjoy my day, not worry about the cameras, not worry about anything going wrong. I just wanted it to be a personal day. We could have had 500 people, but we didn’t. We just had a little over 200 I think total, and those were people that had been very supportive of Kroy and I, very supportive of me. With Twitter and Facebooking, details get out in two seconds, and we didn’t want that. So, we did ask that were no cameras, no phones, etcetera.

When asked about her real hair, Kim says that she didn’t want to get married without a wig. But, later on she changes her mind and says she is doing her wedding in her real hair. I am confused? Wasn’t this trick wearing a wig during the wedding?

Right, well, I think it’s time. Bravo doesn’t ask you to do anything, they just capture your real life, and I had [my hairstylists] say to me one day, “You know you really should do your real hair for the wedding.” I have beautiful hair — it’s just not as long as my wig, same color. I dye it the same color and they had this great idea that I wear my real hair, and I was like, “No, like I don’t want to wear my real hair, that’s not the look I’m going for. This is not a day that you change your whole look,” you know, blah, blah, blah. And so they just kind of irritated me, and I was like, “Well, the hell with it, here’s my hair.” That’s basically what happened. It was just like, “OK, you know what you guys? Here’s my hair, and I’m not, not going to wear a wig on my wedding day.” With this wig, I thee wed.

Kim hopes her show will be similar to ‘Bethenny Ever After’:

I would love to, I really had a lot of fun doing the spinoff. It was really a totally different spiel. I think people get to really see me for me. I share the 45 minutes that Housewives is on every week with five other people, so that three minutes or five minutes that you see of me or maybe sometimes 10, 15 minutes, you don’t get to see the real me. You can make an assumption off of what you see, but I think with the spinoff, you get the chance to kind of see me in a different light. You see my girls, Kroy’s family, and I really had a lot of fun doing it, even though it was very stressful planning a wedding in a short amount of time, and also having cameras there to capture it. I would love to, though.

The Kimster was asked if she realizes that the Reality TV Whoremongering would come to an end, Kim says she knows it will eventually end but, will ride this sucker for as long as she can. Bitch gotta make her money:

 Yeah, I mean let’s be honest, this isn’t going to last forever, but I’m going to ride it as long as I can.

I can’t wait to see the real reason she kicked her mother out of the wedding and Rose telling Kim that Kroy’s family doesn’t want her marrying him is no surprise and no psychic was necessary to guess that one I could of told Kim that.

 Source, The Hollywood Reporter

His chichis are trying to compete with Kim’s!

I have this little plugling on my WordPress blog that allows me to see what y’all search for to find my blog. The search words that were the most popular this past week where ‘Kroy Biermann shirtless.’

Yes, a handfull of horny bitches have been searching for Kim Zolciak’s new ‘young and tender’ without his shirt on. So, to give you Pervitas what y’all want, I decided to post all of the pictures of Kroy shirtless that I could find.

Oh c’mon now, you know who you are!

There you go Pervitas enjoy!

Ok, so he is wearing a jersey in this one but, it’s very tight!

If I find more I will post them!

Kim Zolciak is sad that her former bestie Sheree Whitfield got fired from RHOA (of course Kim doesn’t admit it, and pretends she doesn’t know what happened between Sheree and Bravo) but, says she is exicted about meeting a new cast member as long as is not Marlo Hampton.

During the reunion Kim got very butt-hurt at Marlo’s remarks that her and Kroy traded in Big Poppa’s ring that didn’t mean a thing for Kroy’s engagement ring. Kim calls Marlo ‘disgusting’ and says that she better NEVER hold a peach in her hand:

“I think Sheree is just possibly in a different place,”

 “I don’t know what happened — if it was completely her decision or Bravo’s, or a combination, I don’t know that. What I do know is that she does have a lot going on and I’m going to miss her.”

“If they are casting another housewife, then I look forward to that,”

“I look forward to meeting somebody new and kind of going through that, but Sheree definitely will be missed.”

“Marlo better never hold a peach,” Zolciak said, referring the peaches the cast holds during the opening credits. “I mean she’s been arrested seven times, clearly that shows somebody’s character. Her language and her demeanor are just disgusting. Her energy to me is just disgusting, using the ‘F’ word, and the gay swear is disgusting to me. That really showed me her character, and after I saw that and heard that she had said that, I just had no interest in ever getting to know her.”

 But, could the Kimster just be ass-hurt because there was some truth in profesional paid Mistress Marlo Hampton, because a gold-digging trick can spot another gold-digging trick a mile away? And maybe Kim doesn’t like this bitch bringing this up because she doesn’t want Kroy to be keen on her game?

One of my readers send me a link to some juicy gossip about Kim’s former boyfriend Lee Nahjar AKA Big Poppa . Apparently Big Poppa pulled a Barney Devito when he failed to pay utility bills on one of his various commercial rental buildings in Georgia forcing people to close business for the day and causing a lot of inconveniences and headaches, all because he owes over 200k in electricity bills .

Check this out:

Georgia Power pulled the plug on the Union Station Mall after the mall’s owner failed to pay tens of thousands of dollars in power bills.

Channel 2 Action News reporter Kerry Kavanaugh was at the mall Wednesday morning and was working to find out when and if the power would be turned back on.

 One after another, people arrived at the Union Station Mall only to turn around and leave on Wednesday.

First were those headed to the Department of Driver Services Office.

“I came here today to get my mother a Georgia ID,” said Jerome Beedles.

There were also mall goers who were just trying to shop.

“The mall is closed? Alright,” said June Martin.

Then there were those who came to the mall to report for work.

“This is the last thing we need. We have a full staff,” said tenant Princess Wyatt.

Channel 2 Action News cameras were rolling Tuesday night as tenants such as Wyatt scrambled to pack up and get out. Georgia Power cut the electricity around 10:30 p.m. Tuesday.

Georgia Power officials said the mall’s owner owes them more than $200,000 in overdue bills.

The owner is Lee Najjar, better known as “Big Poppa” from the television show “The Real Housewives of Atlanta.”

As Channel 2 Action News first reported last week, Najjar is also behind on his water bill and owes three years worth of back property taxes totaling $250,000.

“Right now, we’re lost. The girls are lost. We don’t know what we’re going to do,” said Wyatt.

Kavanaugh spoke with someone at Najjar’s real estate company in Norcross who said the company is working to get tenants back in.

 

 

 

Maybe all the lavish vacations and money he splurged supporting his Mistress Kim (and maybe others) has left his dumb ass broke and could this be the reason Kim walked and found herself a new golden cock to suck on before the Big Poppa gravy train came to an end?

Thanks Lynn for the link!

This season was Sheree Whitfield’s last call for major sass, and even thought she was starting shit with bitches left and right in order to keep stirring the drama stew; Sheree still got the boot to the ass and Bravo send her packing. Cynthia Bailey felt she had to give her expert advice and supports Marlo Hampton as a Sheree Whitfield’s replacement because she believes Marlo in all her tacky ‘f’ bom-dropping, white sugar-daddy hustling,  label claiming glory is all kinds of exicting.  Cynthia also says that she is not threatened by the NeNe/ Marlo friendshit (because that’s what NeNe told her to do.)

Cynthia told the Hollywood Reporter:

“I think Marlo is definitely very entertaining for the show,”

“I like shooting with her just in terms of Marlo as a cast mate,” she continues. “Whenever she’s in the equation, things always take a different turn than what they thought it was going to be. So, Marlo would be really, really great to throw into the mix and see what’s going to happen. Things usually are always a little different when she is around. I can honestly say that South Africa would not have been the same if Marlo Hampton had not come on that trip.”

“I am so absolutely fine with NeNe and Marlo’s relationship,” she says. “I think it’s great. Marlo and I are two different people. My relationship with NeNe is very different from hers. They do their thing; Nene and I do our thing. NeNe and I both have different friends.”

“I’m fine with NeNe being friends with anyone. The friend contract never said you couldn’t have other friends,”

I wonder if she will still be happy with supporting Marlo for the show after the bitch tries to cut her?

Another houseskank bites the dust.

Bravo finally and officially verified the rumors that ‘who gonna check me booh’  Sheree Whitfield got the boot to the ass for being a demanding difficult  ’diva’ who wore out her welcome with her shitty attitude that turns everyone off, and scares away any man that has tried to come near her ( I bet that’s why that one Shaman dude in Africa told her she was too old and would not get married again exept the real reason isn’t her age is her shitty bitchy attitude.)

From Radaronline:

“Sheree was fired. She was demanding more money and that didn’t go over well with show executives. They are tired of dealing with her diva attitude and demands.”"Executives think she’s just boring and they want someone new on the show,”

Sheree herself admitted via Twitter that she got her ass ‘checked’ out of the Bravo trash show exept she is spinning it another way and is trying to say that it was HER decision to leave the show because of the ‘direction’ it was taking :

“After four solid seasons of helping Bravo build the show into its most successful Housewives franchise, I have decided to leave. The direction the show is going in is no longer a fit for my lifestyle. I’m tired of the fighting and the cattiness,”

“I want to be part of something that empowers and inspires women to not only be healthy, but to treat themselves with respect. I wish the rest of the women the best of luck. I’m thrilled to say I’m now a free agent and am already fielding offers.”

Really bitch? Wasn’t it you who was trying to start all kinds of bitch drama this last season in a desperate attempt to stay?

Gossipy insiders also told Radaronline that Sheree has been jelaous of Kim Zolciak and NeNe Leakes because Bravo showed favoritism to them and not Sheree, so the bitch is butthurt about that:

“Sheree was jealous of Kim and NeNe. She felt like she wasn’t getting as much attention, they all started together but it’s been unbalanced ever since,”

According to the gossipy insider, Sheree was pissed off Bravo helped Kim and NeNe with their endeavors including Kim’s wig-line and let NeNe get away with all her glorious craziness because they didn’t want NeNe to walk out:

“They went out of their way to promote Kim’s wig line and gave her a spin-off for her wedding,”

“They let her (NeNe) do whatever she wants because they are so scared to lose her!”

“They didn’t encourage her like they did the other two. She is just not as exciting, she is not as ridiculous, so viewers don’t care as much.”

“She was not offered the same money as they were,” said the insider. “To be offered less money was the final blow, they said take it or leave it – so she left.”

I agree with Bravo on their decision to ‘check’ this ‘booh’ here out the door, after watching her shitty, demanding attitude and lying ways for four seasons I am surprised they didn’t cut her loose earlier.

According to Media Take Out and Straight From The A, Sheree Whitfield got the boot to the ass by Bravo executives who told her they would no longer be needing her crazy for next season. Supposedly Sheree was flown to NY for some Bravo party thingy and before the events started they told her she was fired. Sheree then, lost her shit, started crying like a little bitch and begged for her job because this is all she has going in her life.

Apparently, Bravo got tired of this broke bitch faking it because she was not making it, since they caught on that she didn’t even have proper bedding for her children in her house (air mattress) lack of furniture and don’t forget the Bullshit By Sheree plot of land purchased in Sheree’s mom’s name where an illusive mansion with a roller rink and all this other fancy shit was supposed to be build but in the end the mansion was never produced and Bravo got tired of this bitche’s lies.

Not to mention the fact that,  She-Man innitally denied having a grown daughter and referred to Tierra as a ‘family friend’ all of the sudden because her punk ass didn’t have an interesting story line she decided that Tierra was her daughter and wanted to include her on the show hoping to have more of a story line. Sheree also got into a big bitch fight with her pocket gay/hairstilist Lawrence whom she fired because he fucked up her fake hair and went bald so now the bitch has nothing NADA not  gay bestie and not even NO hair. Poor Pendeja.

Rumors have swirled that this ho’ took all the money that her ex gave her and blew it on an Aston Martin  that was later repoed and on all kinds of expensive handbags and other stupid shit while her kids slept on the floor and went to school barefoot.

Also according to Straight From The A they noticed that in attendance to the Bravo event the only bitches photgraphed were Cynthia Bailey, Kandi Burruss, NeNe Leakes and Phaedra Parks. Missing was Kim Zolciak but she is getting her own show and apparently doesn’t leave her house, Marlo Hampton who isn’t even an official cast member and Sheree Whitfield who was more than likely crying in the bathroom when Bravo told her she was fired. Poor bitch!

That bitch is going to make sure she gets her future child support checks  from Golden Egg number two. News broke yesterday that Kim Zolciak is preggers AGAIN! Just like Rose the psychic predicted (and that was easy to predict since I bet Rose figured Kim was going to go for baby number two anyways) except Rose was incorrect about the sex of the baby since Rose told Kim the baby would be a girl but, instead the bay is a boy.

From Radaronline:

“They’re so excited because Kim already had two girls and now that she’s having a second son, the family will be balanced out with two of each,” a close friend told Star.

“[Kim] was trying to hide it, but she’s showing a little already.”

Also as we all know Kim will be starring on her new show ala Bethenny Frankel, called Don’t Be Tardy For The Wedding which will premiere on April 26th.

Phaedra Parks is famous for beating around the bush when asked a question, for example when she gave birth to her son she had selective memory on what her real due date was, and when confronted by the doctor on the right due date she called it a ‘theory’ .

Well, it appears that Miss Southern Belle will be doing the rumba around the shady bush again and again because an old acquaintance of Phaedra’s has come forward and according to her, Phaedra was the mastermind in the car stealing ring that got Apollo five years in the clink in the first place. She says that Phaedra made sure her hands didn’t get dirty but, instead that everyone else took the fall for her.

Angela Stanton, who says she got burned by Phaedra when this whole grand theft auto scheme took place is writing a tell-all book called   Lies of a Real House Wife: Tell The Truth and Shame The Devil. Angela gave an exclusive interview to Vibe.com about Phaedra’s supposed shady past.

Angela claims she came from a broken down family and  she met sophisticated, educated Southern Lady Phaedra through her ‘relationship’ to an ‘artist’ named Drama who Angela used to date. Apparently this ‘artist’ got busted for his own criminal involvement in ‘arm robbery’. Meanwhile Angela and Phaedra remained friends.

When I first met Phaedra Parks she was absolutely amazing… it was kinda like opposites attract… two totally different backgrounds, she had gone to school came from a perfect family, perfect upbringing with grad school graduated. I myself was born into a dysfunctional family… Suffered from sexual abuse at the age of five. Ended up runaway at the age of nine, and pretty much lived in an on the streets most of my life until I ran into Phaedra.

Angela says that once she was introduced to Apollo, they all became partners in crime. For about two years, Angela was in charge of  cashing large fraudulent insurance checks until she got popped. Angela did four months for it, got out, went back to Phaedra who introduced her to Everett (Apollo’s brother) and got involved into a new grand theft auto fun scheme:

After about a year or so, I guess she became a little more comfortable with our relationship and that’s when she introduced me to Apollo… Once she introduced me to Apollo it was strictly a business relationship that the two of them had. And at that time, they were making fraudulent insurance checks.

 I ended up catching a charge and going away to prison. On my first trip to prison, I only did four months, but while I was away at prison, Apollo had also got arrested. So when he got arrested and got banged up at Newton County. I finally got out after doing my four months, Phaedra and I got back together again. This time she introduced me to Everett, which is Apollo’s brother and we were all involved in a federal racketeering scheme against the federal government.

Stealing Porches, Hummers, Cadillac, Corvette, any hot whip at that time, you name it we had it! We would basically go to the car lot and write down the VIN numbers of the vehicles that we felt as if we wanted to keep or would make a good sale. Once we recorded the numbers down off the VIN, we would take them back to Phaedra and Everett. Once they had it, they would make a fake identification card and a registration card to match the vehicle. The next day you can take that I.D and registration card and go to another car dealership and tell them that this is your vehicle and they’ll cut you a key for a fee of $185

 Once we had the key we would then go back to the car dealerships after they close and drive off with whatever car that we picked earlier. After that, they would get sent off to the chop shop and once everything was cleaned up, we would take the title, swap the titles out for Georgia titles then take them to another car dealership and trade the car in for a car of lesser value and walk away with the money.

Waaah??? Sounds like a shit load of butt-ass complicated, drama to go through just to end up in prison with a broom stick in your ass!

Angela says that everything was going fine for about three or four years. Until  a seven month pregnant Angela sent her cousin  to the DMV  to trade one of the car titles and ended up getting questioned but, not arrested by a detective at the DMV. Before all this shit went down, Phaedra had always promised she would represent everyone involved including Angela. And according to Angela Phaedra turned on her and left her to rot in jail and give birth while handcuffed to a jail hospital bed:

Once she finally made it back to me, and told me everything that happened I immediately called Phaedra and Everett and my first concern was were do we stand now with the project and how are we going to proceed? Phaedra told me that we should proceed with what we had. Everett said that we would leave in the morning as well. So we left that next morning heading to Tennessee with three of the luxury vehicles…And this is where I was arrested, this is where Everett was arrested.

Once I was incarcerated the plan and the agreement was always that she would always represent us if we ever got into any trouble and that’s what I expected. I expected her to represent me. I expected her to look after me. I expected her to look out for my children if something was to happen. I expected her to do everything that she said she was going to do because I did everything that I said I was going to do. I never told and I ended up getting five years in the State.

I’m struggling. Like I said Before my mother died, my grandmother died while I was in prison. I had my baby handcuffed to a bed. My babies father, he got life. So of course there is no child support. Nobody will give me a job. Not only am I a convicted felon I’m a single mother. I couldn’t get any housing assistance because I was a convicted felon. I couldn’t get any Section 8 because I was a convicted felon. I even went to the nightclub to dance to support my children. I got hired at the nightclub but when I went to go get my permit they told me that I couldn’t get my permit because I was a convicted felon. But I never gave up. I kept pressing. When I saw the first episode of Housewives of Atlanta, I was shocked when I saw that she married Apollo. Not only was I shocked that she married Apollo I was extra shocked when I saw Everett on the show featured several times. When I found out that Everett worked as a paralegal in her law firm while he was still in a halfway house.

Sweetie Hughes, Kim Zolciak’s former tortured assistant who was fired sometime in September 2011 has been the subject of mucho chisme, since Kim’s eldest daughter Brielle spilled the beans that Kim finally fired Sweetie but didn’t go into details as to why.

A lot of different rumors have swirled in the Internetz about why Sweetie got the boot to the ass (like I got last week.) One of the most recent rumors was that Sweetie stole from Kim. Sweetie has spoken out about that rumor when she gave an exclusive interview to Straigh From The A, and stated that those rumors are nothing but a bunch of bullshit:

I seen it twitter… some person tweeted me point blank ‘did you steal from Kim?’ and it was my first time hearing about it.

That shit is crazy! Do you know how much money I handled for Kim. As her assistant I had bank account access and all that… something that other assistants never had the opportunity to get that far… so as far as loyalty it’s been very high.

I think someone just made it up and I realize that out of every assistant she’s ever had, I’m the one they always talk about…  they always try to keep my name out there, which is cool, it ain’t hurting me.

When asked for clarification as to why exactly she was fired Sweetie wasn’t sure how to answer that:

To be honest, I really don’t even know… I guess it was just spur of the moment.

I just happened to know her so well it just worked out. She had so many different assistants it just worked out. I worked for her way before she was famous. I did the same thing I was doing now back then… at the age of 15.

The only thing I couldn’t do back then was drive…. coffee… scheduled appointments… I did it all.

Even Kim herself went on a Twitter  defense rant for Sweetie and says that all of us insane clown bloggers are a bunch of sick fucks:

According to Straight From The A, Kroy Biermann is a closet racist!

I’ve heard rumors that Kim’s new husband, Falcons player Kroy Biermann doesn’t “prefer” African-Americans chilling around the house, and since Sweetie is clearly one of those, it’s been inferred that he may be the cause of her sudden job loss.

When I asked Sweetie about that, she chose not to answer, simply stating that Kroy was “cool”

When Sweetie was asked about that, she decided to respond by beating around the bush leading one to believe Kroy may or may not be comfortable around African American people:

Yeah… he’s cool. He cool.  That’s all I’ve got to say. I prefer not to… umm…  We’re just better off cool.

There’s only so much someone can take.

WHAAAAT????!!!!!

Kim immediately went on another defense rampage this time on her husband’s behalf:

Under no circumstances did @sweetieHughes imply @biermann71 was racist nor discriminates against african … http://m.tmi.me/m28N3

I think there is more to this story about the Kroy thing and Sweetie just doesn’t want to betray Kim, I also think Sweetie got tired of Kim’s shit so she wanted to leave anyway. What do y’ alls think? Is there more to this story that Sweetie is not saying?

Hope everyone had a Happy Valentines Day! Here is another ridiculously late recrap that’s more late than Kim Richards when she missed the Hawaii trip. But, unlike Kim R my ass wasn’t fucked up out of my skull on a meth binge in an alley. I was chained to a desk at work churning out paperwork. The good thing is the company I work for gave me and my whole department  the boot to the ass with a nice fat severance package of course because at least they’re generous! (And this is good for me only ’cause I’m fine, I feel bad for my coworkers.) So, sometime in Summer I will be here to rant and entertain all of you hot bitches with a sick twisted-sister sense of humor because I’m being forced to do nothing but surf, blog and go on a hippie self discovery trip, but for now just please bear with my lateness. Enjoy!

Because Kroy wants his son and new wife to be part of the Ted Nugent Meta Militia Gun Club, he wakes Kim up at the butt-crack of morning and drags her and baby Kroy Jr to the Firing Range.

Even though Gun Ranges are normally not places where a lot of people would take their infant children this is not the case with Kroy because apparently he was born in a  pickup truck in Montana, with a rifle in his hand, a squirrel hat on his head and chewing tobacco. So he is very familiar with guns and shooting his lunch and all that shit. Kim “obviously hasn’t”

While Kroy is explaining to the gun shop keepers (or whatever the fuck their job title is) how Kim’s dumb ass has never held a gun in her hand in her life, this lady here was praying that Kim WOULND’T get a gun. Since she watches this show and knows who dumb ass Kim is and now she is worried they’re going to have to sell her a gun.

AAWWW HELL NOOO!!! DON’T GIVE THIS DUMB BITCH A GUN, I WATCH THAT SHOW AND THIS IS ONE DUMB BITCH, PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME SELL HER A GUN! GOOOD LAAAWWD  HELP US ALL!

And here is dumb ass Kim.

DUUH PINK GUN!

Now that Kim has a new found hobby she gets herself a cute little pink gun, just in case Moose NeNe gets out of hand and Kim has to keep that Cuete in her purse so she can bust a cap in NeNe’s ass.

Once Kim picks out a gun that goes with her favorite purse it’s time to wave it around while loaded without the safety on.

And below her feet is baby Kroy sleeping in his little basket thingy and has no idea what’s going on, even when Kim accidental shoots the gun and the bullet ricochets throughout the gun store almost blinding some poor innocent bystander and two of the camera crew guys.

After pointing the loaded gun at this guy’s head and playing some fun video games, Kim is ready to go shoot some more.

At first Kim was all nervous about handling a gun, but  her natural hillbilly instincts kicked in immediately and she becomes a natural born gun waving, hair trigger shooting ho’. Not to mention the fact that they carry all those cute little pink guns and pink ear mufflers

The bitch has no problem shooting a gun and hitting the target.

Where was Kroy when this bitch was getting her wig pulled off by Moose NeNe and She-Man, and then Moose NeNe a second time! I bet if she would of pulled a gun on either of those ho’s during those separate incidents they would of taken off running.

Apollo, Phaedra, Cynthia and Bitter Peter all decide to meet for lunch, to smooth things out since their little incident at Kim’s baby shower ordeal where the two men nearly came to fist flying blows, if not for the police.

Phaedra complains about the hot Atlanta summer and how she needs to have a pad in her panties because her crotch be’ sweating from carrying that “Donkey Bootay.” She better be careful because she is getting Uncle Ben hot and bothered and that’s without his magical Viagra.

During the meal conversation they bring up Apollo’s line of work which is “repo-man”  or Ass-et-Recovery. Cynthia starts grilling Phaedra about the age gap between her and Apollo.

If you didn’t know who these folks where and who they’re banging, wouldn’t they look like Bitter Peter is with Phaedra and Apollo with Cynthia?

And not because they are sitting next to each other, but because these two fucktards here are the hotter looking ones:

But just like Cynthia says “they kinda of don’t make sense together, and we kinda don’t make sense together”.

When Cynthia casually asks Phaedra “how old are you Phaedra?” This is the face she makes:

Then her crazy ass gives Cynthia a shady beat around the long bush answer like the one she tried to peddle us when she wouldn’t tall us how far preggers along she was last season because she didn’t want her mother “The Pastor” to know  she got knocked up while not married. This bitch is how old? She has a business she can get knocked up outside of marriage all she wants but, I guess she likes to be pretentious and dance around big fat white elephants in the room that DON’T  need to be there. Why do people lie like this when they are on Reality TV and we are all going to find out their real age anyway?

Because Phaedra gets all weird when asked her real age she decides to change the subject to something more fun like the trip to Africa that she is putting together (courtesy of Bravo) and only the women are invited. In Phaedra’s delusional little head she believes the trip will be a peaceful one (really Phaedra are you high?) Yeah, well maybe if she can get them some king green shis to smoke those ho’s may calm down. BUT I seriously doubt it. BIG BUT!!

Cynthia is stoked about going to this Africa trip so she can get away from Bitter Peter.

After they are all done scarfing down their lunch Cynthia and Bitter Peter decide they like Phaedra and her boytoy husband Apollo.

Cynthia then gets on the phone and calls NeNe to find out if she will be attending this Africa trip, but NeNe says Hell To The No because she wouldn’t go to the “damn trash can” with those bitches.

Here is Bitter Peter cracking up.

Next we see NeNe in a business meeting with her, ejem “business partner” John and a team of people speaking of important adult business.

This lady here watches a lot of Ho’ Wives because she knows NeNe likes things all dramatic and is the Queen Bee of Drama.

I need to put my finger on my lips and hold my mouth shut or I may say something stupid I will regret.

After some negotiations on the Puterios that NeNe and John plan to open and NeNe taking 60% of business profit leaving John 40%; John kicks the other people out and continues on his quest to shower NeNe with expensive gifts and  thousand dollar shoes with the red soles.

Those are huuuge and slutty!

Yes it is love.

Next these girls get ready for Africa!

Kandi admits she doesn’t know how to dance to save her life.

They decide to avoid all National Geographic poor places where women can’t afford a bra and have their teeties hanging out and decided to only hang out at the posh, plush, chi-chi, resorty parts of Africa where these ho’s will get into their yelling matchings in style.

I’m the Lucy McGillicuddy of dancing!

After Kandi stumbles around idiotically while bumping into people who get annoyed with her because she can’t keep the steps. She reveals to Phaedra the real reason she showed up to African dance class this evening, and that is to reveal that Kandi is not only still addicted to the blogs, but also that while feeding her addiction with the addicting blogs she happened to find out about Marlo’s seven arrest including the aggravated assault! That was very aggravated!

UUUUUHHHHHH LAAAAWWWWD!!! PHAEDRA AND KANDI ARE SCARRED!!

Kim and Kroy visit Kim’s psychic Rose who reads baby Kroy’s eetie beetie palms. She also predicts that Kim will have another baby, a girl. But, Kim will have a troubled pregnancy. Kim can’t understand the reason why she would have a troubled pregnancy. Her psychic Rose needs to remind Kim to eat nutricious food, but she forgets to remind her to quit the cancer sticks.

Duh! You mean my daily diet of laying around on my fat ass and eating Pizza, sucking on White Wine and a carton of cigarettes doesn’t meet the daily nutritional needs to carry a baby full term during pregnancy? You don’t say!

Next Sheree and Phaedra meet at the museum, to learn some culture.

African American culture.

After they get all hot and bothered over this chiseled abs hot mannequin that the museum picked up at the JC Penney closing the doors sale, the two continue their Beavis and Butthead shenanigans until it escalates to Phaedra fondling and…

checking the goods under the hood.

This is the most action Sheree has gotten since she accidental bumped her crotch into the spin cycle on her washer last Wednesday. Look how excited she is.

BUSTED!

When this nice lady gives them the tour of the African museum and explains the atrocities people dealt with Phaedra and Sheree only focus their questions on if the men were naked with their RiDickCulo parts hanging out and also what sizes their penis where. Phaedra starts praying to stay focused on the manequins penises. Then she says something stupid “These are fine young specimens!”  Well, first they’re just sexy mannequins with a cloth, second that’s probably the shit the evil plantation master’s wife used to say when she picked out her Friday boy-toy at the slave auction! Que no?

Heehee hee, so where these dudes naked? Hee he, how naked where they? Hee he, I am Corh-holiooo!

The Museum Lady gives Phaedra and Sheree the full tour,  and talks about the real fucked up shit that happened to African people when they got kidnapped and enslaved. Sheree and Phaedra behave like adults for like half a second when they talk about the port where slaves where shipped in the most inhumane conditions, but then the two crazy ho’s go back to clowning. See, this is why I put the bong down before I went to the Anne Frank Museum in Amsterdam and I was surrounded by “Coffee Shops!”

After they ran this nice lady out of patience she kicked them out and now Phaedra and Sheree got 86th from all Museums in Atlanta and some parts of Florida.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO? GET THE HELL OUT OF MY MUSEUM AND TAKE THOSE CAMERAS WITH YOU!!

When the tour is over Phaedra tells Sheree about going to this Africa trip and if she would go with NeNe. Since Phaedra managed to get Sheree all psyched about going to Africa, you know, with the sexy mannequins an’ all she happily says she would go to Africa even if she has to ride with the Devil himself.

Next Phaedra pays some homeless actors (with street meth) to pretend to be the Vice President Of Ghana:

HELLO VICE PRESIDENT OF GHANA? THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA ARE COMING TO WRECK YOUR COUNTRY! HELLO PHAEDRA? YOU’RE BREAKING UP. CLICK… HELLO? HELLOO?? AW SHIT HE ONLY SAID MY NAME ONCE I PAYED HIM TO REPEAT MY NAME AT LEAST THREE TIMES SO PEOPLE WILL REALLY BELIEVE I AM BESTIES WITH THE VICE PRESIDENT OF ? WAIT WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THAT COUNTRY I’M PRETENDING TO CALL AGAIN? GUINNESS?

Later on everyone meets at some restaurant to have dinner and when I say everyone I mean EVERYONE! That is Kandi, Cynthia, NeNe, Sheree, Phaedra and Kim! Yep, Mama Joyce arranged for all these bitches to have dinner together so they can go back to the good ol’ days before one bitch tried to pull the other bitches wig off and or choke a bitch with her own wig.

After  Mama Joyce reveals her evil intentions when she tells those bitches she wants them to be the way they used to be,  Kim, NeNe and Sheree realize this whole thing was a trap by the tipsy Mama Joyce so they all want to jump out of the window head first.

But NeNe has an evil plan of her own up her sleeve because by looking around she will not only get out of it but, also make this whole thing go away!

QUIT LOOKING AROUND NENE!!!

Mama Joyce believes all of these bitches problems are just petty. Then she forces Kim to say hi to NeNe. NeNe to say hi to Kim and of course NeNe just refuses and Sheree is forced to say hi to NeNe also. These three bitches hate each other and so I don’t understand what Mama Joyce was trying to do.

Mama Joyce tries very hard to make NeNe, friends with Sheree and Kim again. But, fails miserably! The only thing that was successful about this dinner meeting was that NeNe dind’t fly across the table and pulled Kim’s wig off while Sheree jumped on NeNe’s back and started riding her like the giraffes they all going to visit on their Africa  vacation.