On this mess, Silex get their kid a piano that came with a weird penis I mean pianist-dude and it freaked out little Frankie.  When Frankie tried to play the piano Alex tells him he can’t touch it  because it is for decoration and not to touch with his dirty little grubby Cheeto-hands and Frankie is disappointed because he really wanted a drum-set so that he can join a real loud band. BUT NOOOOO!!!

Sonja plays referee to Kelly and Ramona’s confrontation. And the two bitches dress like S&M porn-whores, but what else is old. Ramoners apologizes to Kelly for drunk text dialing her at midnight and Kelly accepts, but first she bitches Ramona out for clowning on her for being a nut case and a meth-whore, who lost her marbles at Scary Island. 

More confrontations happen when Sonja calls Cindy to come over her house alone, this way Sonja can bitch-slap her for telling Kelly about Sonja’s plans to punk Kelly at her ‘Toaster Oven Cooking Party’.  Cindy decides she doesn’t want to deal with this bitche’s bullshit right now, and so she pulls one of Gonzo’s male house-bitches and dances with him.

Gonzo is not very amused since she is the only one allowed to dance with her man-servant. Gonzo gets pissed that Donkey Teeth is ignoring her and so she rips her away from the male house-bitch and berates her for mingling with the help and remains her that only Gonzo is allowed to fuck the help.

 Then, she bitch slaps Cindy right on the Horse Teeth and bitches her out  for not having Pinot Grigio ready for Ramonzon at Cindy’s own birthday party she yells, “Ramona Singer’s a star, and you have to understand that,”. 

Gonzo also monkey punches Horsie for forcing all the other bitches  to go to the gettho of Quogue. She berates Cindy, “None of us wanted to go to Quogue”. Then Gonzo explains the order of the pecker- pecking order to Cindy, who sits there with her mouth wide open and confused. Of course this bitch can’t close her mouth with those horse teeh it is permanently open.

Since Countless LuAnn is a certified wine expert (she learned that expertise in the bedroom from new boy-toy Peppi Lapoop while she was on all fours, tying his shoe -laces) she shows up to Ramoner’s Vino and Hoochie Wear Party, just to point out and school Ramoners on how ignorant she is about Pinot Grigio Moonshine Wine, and how they make it in bathtubs during the full moon on top of a Pentagram and not in barrells in the backwoods  of New Jersey by Barney Devito like she told everybody else. Then the Countless, tells her she probably doesn’t even know why is called Pinot. Of course Ramoners is clueless but so is the Countless who’s only pretending she knows all the ins and outs of wine making and knows that Ramoners doesn’t know anything about wine so she is just fucking with her for fun.

Cindy meets Kelly in Central Park to go score some Park Meth from a crack-head. And while they are scouting for street drugs they run into Jill who is also there to buy her fix. Cindy informs Kelly what a fucked up bitch Gonzo is, and she can shove her pecking order in the deepest part of her fat culo.  Jill hopes she is top Queen Bee on that Pecker Order.

Sonja Gonzo-Nose can’t keep her crusty Chones on this season, and she seems to have a raging desperation to show her fat ass to everyone and their grandpapi. So she decides to dress up like a fallen Rainbow Brite Prostitute child and arranges a raunchy photo shoot for a calendar, were some sort of an all male baseball/firefighter team is present while she runs around with a short mini skirt and no chones! This is the second time this bitch does this shit! (Next episode she pulls the same underwear less- shit and since this recap was late I can mention it without spoiling!) And again she manages to gross out a room full of men, who are now hurling in their baseball caps.

Dumb delusional bitch thinks they’re drooling over her, but in reality they’re puking and at the same time managing to  laugh at her  and asking among themselves ‘who is the vintage tore-up, crack-whore and how did she get past security?’ After that they all turned gay. NICE GOING SONJA!

Later on Kelly and LuAss show up to visit Gonzo for her Toaster Oven Cooking Party. The bitch is all bragging that she’s cooked for royalty on her busted up toaster oven from the 70′s that she picked up at the thrift store a few years back. It is also held together by duct tape. Gonzo manages to fix a delicious fish meal for LuAnn and Kelly and they complain that the portion is tiny so they decide they’re hitting Taco Bell later. After they ditch Gonzo.

Jilliousy decides to iron things out with Alex and bravely heads out to the Brooklyn ghetto section-8 projects, where Alex lives amongst the New York gangs and drug dealers. Jill clowns on Alex and says,  she can tell Alex doesn’t work out because she has noodle arms and an old mans’ beer belly plus a serious case of Hillbilly Teeth.  Nothing like a real insult before a fake apology! And Jill is the expert on that shit.

Like I said before in another recrap these bitches are always ‘clearing the air’  they should just call it what it really is ‘throwing more turd-logs in that fucked up fire’.

 Ramoner gets super coked out because she is also having her ‘throwing more turd-logs in that fucked up fire’ meeting with Donkey Teeth and tells that bitch that she doens’t know what the fuck she is talking about because she hasn’t been happily married for 18 years, to a faithful man that worships her. Cindy bustes up laughing at Ramonzon for being an ignorant moron whose husband is pulling an Arnold with the maid and Ramoners eyes are about to bulge out of her skull because not only is she flamingly pissed at Donkey Teeth for being stupid but also the coke she snorted earlier was laced with some questionable PCP making Ramonzon’s eyes ten times more violent. After Ramonzon is done kicking Horsie in the teeth she walks away laughin like a evil-super villain.