Recent scary pictures surfaced of Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan who decided to run the streets of Miami amuck and scare innocent bystanders, by wearing skimpy bikinis (that should only be worn if you’re under 40 or not gross) over their dried up, beef jerky, saggy, senior-citizen asses.

 Warning : The following pictures are BRUTAL and may cause your eyes to bleed:

I can see Mario is still drooling over Sonia’s mummified old corpse.

Sometimes you just have to admit that your pruney-ass needs to be covered in a mumu or a circus tent.

New bitches new ho’ downs, the drama never ends. Even though Jill “Jillaousy” Zarin, “Co Co Puffs” Kelly Bensimoron, Cindy “Bore Me” Barshop and Alex “Frankenstein Shoes” Mccord were all axed because supposedly the situation got toxic and now a new blend of toxic got introduced to the old blend of toxic waste, that is the New York Skanks it appears these bitches are all at each other’s throats already with a whole new set of cat-fights and bitch slappery fiascoes.  Ramona is the “asshole pariah” of this season and LuAnn de Lesseps plus Sonja Morgan are pushing for the empty spot of Queen Bee that Jill Zarin left behind.

 Although, the show is supposed to be “totally different than last season.” The  NY. Daily News reported the women have already divided into teams and Ramona is now fighting with her bestie Sonja (she must of found out Mario banged her.)

From NY Daily News:

RumorFix.com posted some gossip (they heard it from IHJZ blog)  about Cat Ommanney being considered by Bravo to be one of the Real Train Wreckages of New York. And since she has been planning to move to New York anyway and Miss Bravo Andy Cohen noticed how Cat wanted to jump out of her chair and scratch LuAnn’s eyes out for being such a wannabe wanker when the two bitches were guest on WWHL a few months back. Asking her to join would make sense.

I hope they do stick that crazy bitch in New York, I like to see her go English ghetto on LuAss. I remember that WWHL episode and all I can say is, it was BEAUTIFUL when that Cat Litter bitch lost her patience with LuAss and Miss Andy was also loving it so much that her panties were wet! Please Bravo please cast this ho’ for New York. I want to hear her tell LuAnn off in her best gutter-skank,English-ghetto,hood-rat, drunken dribble. Maybe she will even go apeshit on Jilliousy and Jelly Beans Bensimoron! That would be awesooome!

And speaking of Kelly Bensimon and mentally vulnerable people that should NOT be on reality shows  because they can have unfortunate endings (I’m not being insensitive to this, I’m just saying it can seriously get bad for some) like poor Russell did in the end. Bravo is now enforcing a psychological tests for desperate famewhores that join the show and this is to PROTECT BRAVO not the cast members (of course!). An unnamed cast member of the Real Housewives of New York told the Huffington Post:

“We all have in our contracts that Bravo can force us to take a [psychological] test,” one cast member of “The Real Housewives of New York” tells me. “To my knowledge nobody did, but moving forward any new cast members will for sure. This isn’t to protect the talent but rather to protect Bravo for the next time something horrid happens.”

According to a post on Forbes Real Rich Bitch and Brand New Millionaires Bethenny Frankel (I can’t help it I love that bitch even if she is psycho!) was an unforgettable force of nature that could not be ignored even though she is no longer part of the cast Bethenny’s name was still mentioned over and over, during the reunion (her ears were ringing super loud that night). But unfortunately for the RHONYC since Beth left, this last season’s ratings fell lower than previous and Bravo executives are thinking about recasting the whole skank platoon and getting in some new blood.Click here to read a Forbes article about Bethenny.

I know a lot of you bitches don’t like Beth, but I do, (I’m still going to clown on her) there is something about her that’s admirable and even though she seems to flip out over the stupidest things I still can’t help, (hell, I’ve flipped out over stupid crap too before!) but admire her for being able to make the most out of her experience while swimming in the shark infested turd-sewers of reality TV and in the end she is the bitch that won the game in my eyes at least, who came into the show admitting she was a broke ass and one paycheck away from being homeless and ended up winning the 120 million dollar realtity TV lottery. While most of the other skanks have done the total opposite and bragged, bragged and bragged about how much their hubbies spoil them and all the stupid unnecessary shit they buy just to have the seams holding their faux-plush-lifestyle come apart and be exposed in the end for the brokes ass fronters they are.

And speaking of Bravo recasting these nut-bags according to another article Jill Zarin was spotted having dinner at Savanna in Southhampton where someone was eavesdropping and supposedly they heard Bobby tell Jill that it would NOT be a good idea for her to return to the trainwreck sideshow that is the Housewives. “Bobby made it clear that it was Jill’s decision but couldn’t understand what she would have to gain from returning to a fifth season,”. Maybe he is getting tired of getting dragged into her bitch slapping, gossip spats and lately he’s been having to confront Simon and maybe Bobby doesn’t want to have put  a hit out on Simon, who knows.

An insider told the Huffington post, “Her daughter is in college and it’s time to take her parents on the cruise of a lifetime they have always wanted to do. Plus the success of her Skweez Couture and other deals she has coming up are a full-time job.” Since Bobby sugar daddies Jill she doesn’t need the 265k a year she earns making an ass of herself on the Housewives and this last season the ratings were not as good as previous seasons.“The ‘New York’ show has been super successful but next season will never top the numbers they have now and after the failures of D.C. and Miami shows, everyone thinks the high point of the franchise is behind them not in front of them,”. And the insider added, “Everything has to come to an end. And the reunion show Part 2 ratings were very disappointing.” Good news for Jill is that her sausage encasing, shape- wear was picked up by major outlets so she won’t be needing the money, and I’m sure Bravo will have no problem finding another hateful spoiled skank to replace Jill, since they  seem to come a dime a dozen, that is, if they keep the Housewives franchise going.

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After Jilliousy chewed Ramonzon’s head off for bringing up the Countless’  “weekend parenting” we are back for more bitch slapping and all that good shit. LuAnn is fuming because she says that Ramonzon talks to every Tom, Dick, Harry and belligerent homeless wino in New York city about LuMan’s parenting skills (or lack there off). Ramona says she didn’t say shit about that bitch and LuMan hisses at Gonzo for not sticking up for the Countless when Ramonzon was running her fat mouth. Gonzo tries to say she stuck up for LuMan, but wasn’t caught on film.

Andy asks Ramona why she is trying to blame Avery for turning down LuMan’s music video and why she is trying to say Avery is embarrassed of Ramona being on a tranni music video when the bitch served alcohol at Avery’s sweet sixteen and tried to highjack her party by turning it into Ramona’s drunken Cincuentanera bash 2010. Yep, that shit exist that’s what one of my readers told me. Go ahed and google it.

LuMan brings up the embarrassing massage Ramona gave her “husband’s hairy chest” on TV and questions how can Avery NOT be embarrassed by that, but is embarrassed of her mother appearing in LuMan’s desperation mid-life crises video. Jill decides to demonstrate the dramatics by grabbing Kelly’s Behemoth’s gorilla size feet and proceeds to massage them while making X-rated moaning sounds. I don’t understand why Ramonzon doesn’t just admit she didn’t want to do the video with the Countless because she can’t stand that beast. Andy asks Ramonzon if Avery was embarrassed by the massage she gave Mario on TV and Ramonzon says she was a “little” embarrassed. Yeah just like we are supposed to believe it was all Avery that forbid Ramona from appearing in the video, we are also expected to believe that she was just a “little” embarrassed by the massage. LuMan brings up a good point and asks Ramonzon how it is that she refused to do the music video because it was slutty, yet she invites sixteen year old Avery to join the burlesque underwear shopping and invites her to the dirty bird Sonja show?  After stuttering and pulling out a lame ass answer out of her ass, Ramona says it’s because it was a “private party”. So? That’s like saying because she invited her daughter to an orgy since it was a “private orgy” it’s ok. Right? EEEWWWWUUUOOKAYY THEN?!!

Miss Andy asks LuMan why she went into super confrontational asshole mode this season and why is she up Jill’s ass and defending Jill. Alex yells it’s because LuMan has  enough “dirt” on LuMan to fill a “landfill”. Jill calls Alex a bitch, but spells it out because small children may be watching?  What? OK!? What about all the shit these bitches were saying earlier?

Then, we see a diarrhea trail of clips with Jilliousy saying she is a “changed woman” and staying out of drama followed by scenes with Jill running her fat mouth about everybody’s business, and talking about EVERYBODY! From who is how old and where Cindy’s babies’ daddy is, to calling Alex a ‘fucking bitch’ for socializing above her level and pretty much just trying to insert herself into the drama like a fucking tapeworm crawling up a fat persons ass. Jill then gives a lame ass explanation about how she is blatantly “honest” and doesn’t give a crap what anybody thinks because she is not trying to do it to be mean she is doing it because she is repeating whatever Ramona has been saying all these years I AM WHAT I AM LIKE IT OR NOT I’M POPEYE THE SAILOR MAN TOOT TOOT!! Ramona can’t believe this bitch has now crossed over to using Ramoner’s excuses for acting like a complete asshole to people’s faces for stupid reasons. Ramona was sitting there mumbling, bitch find your own excuses! I think the only thing that changed with Jilliousy this season is that she has learned to be a bigger irritating asshole who found other ways to use more useless excuses to be a complete bitch, so yeah she’s changed, for the worst! Jill tries to say that the grudge she has with Ramona is deeper and longer than the Bethenny grudge and she doesn’t think she can forgive Ramona. WTFUCK? Bitch you don’t make sense! Ramonzon is right when someone is doing better and has more money than Jill she gets “Jilliousy” and goes into full-fledged hurricane level bitch mode.

Gonzo confronts Jilliousy about the shit she talked about Gonzo when she did her disturbing dirty bird burlesque performance. And Jill tries to deny it and says that Gonzo was attacking all of them by calling them “bitches”. Gonzo then admits it by calling them “bitches” again. HA HA HA!!!  Jill says that she was just kidding and being cute when she made fun of Gonzo’s horrific performance! That’s just like saying she went up to Sonja’s plate of toaster oven weiner-dinner and farted on it, but since she was being funny it’s all good and forgiven.

Then Jill starts bitching at Alex for wearing white to the wedding and what a bitch she is for socializing at a party that’s below her social climbing lying ass, plus all the shit she talks about the Hamptons. Alex says she only used to go to the Hampton’s to get acting jobs. Kelly busts up laughing and the brunettes asks Alex what movies she was on? After stuttering and making some shit up, duh I was the duuuh, tree in that one movie eerrr… She gets laughed at some more. Andy asks Jill if she ever admits when she is wrong and surprisingly Jill apologizes to Alex for calling her a bitch, just to clean the slate so she can insult her minutes later with brand new crispy insults.

Alex screams at the brunettes and points at all of them yelling “IF I WAS TRYING TO SOCIALICE ABOVE MY LEVEL I WOULD STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ALL OF YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE ALL A LIABILITY!” Bigfoot Kelly again, bust up laughing this time she asks Alex “ARE YOU SMOKING CRACK?” Yeah, she is bitch and you both share the same dealer remember?

Next, more Ramonzon and her addiction to Pinot Del Borracho we get to see clips of “junkie” Ramona demanding Pinot and almost going into “heroin addict” level seizures if no Pinot available. FUCKING WINO!

Ramonzon then accuses Jill of being an alcoholic that had to attend AA meetings and Jill loses her shit denying it and saying she went to AA to support a friend. Who Jill Zarin? Was that the friends name?

Gonzo and Alex stick up for Ramonzon and say she is not an alcoholic since the bitch only drinks one case of vino not three like Jill accuses her of; making Ramona only a drunkaholic which is better! SEE!

Jilliousy jumps on Ramonzon for the comment she made about Jilliousy’s step daughter being “deformed” and Ramonzon tries to defend it saying that means “blemish”. Then, Andy pressures her crazy ass to apologize to Jill’s daughter and surprisingly she does and she spews out a nice apology, but right after that pause to apologize to the innocent the war continues.

Ramona keeps getting stomped on for being a “functioning alcoholic” like Kelly calls her and Ramona finally admits to being a fucking drunk and says she is very happy with her addiction because she has a lot of energy and is a successful business owner eighteen years married and blah, blah, blah. I think all these bitches  need to be thrown together in a paper bag and go to Asshole-holic Anonymous.

Alex bitches at the Countless for calling her ass “Herman Munster shoes” and for correcting  everyone about having “Class” like a matronly prison guard and the other bitches are all six year old inmates. LuAss doesn’t give a shit and just sits there laughing at Alex like she is a dumb ass.

Kelly takes credit for the  ”Herman Munster shoes” and berates Alex for making poor fashion choices.

REALLY?! REALLY BITCH?? SO YOU’RE THE FASHION POLICE NOW??  I guess she made herself in charge of telling the other bitch how to dress when the only place her and Alex (also!) should be modeling those getups Kelly wears with no pants and the S&M crack-whore dress Alex had on at the party is at the runway (isles) of People Of Walmart.

Look at these bitches they both forgot to wear pants that day!

Here’s Kelly wearing her new running out in traffic outfit when she goes out to score some alley meth.

We also found out that Alex gave her nasty ass dress to LuAss and she donated it to some shelter cause or another and now a homeless bum is wearing it while searching for spare cans in the trash.

LuMan admits  and slips out that when her ass marries Peppi LaPoopie she will be giving up the Countess title. Peppi LaPoopie is probably  swimming  back all the way to France in fear by now. LuMan also says she is butt hurt the blonde bitches refused to be on her music video, but she should be happy because at least Kelly Behemoth sharted throughout the video leaving her Bigfoot asshole aroma to decorate it.

Next they all talk shit about Simon and what an asshole he is for mean tweeting. The bitches asks Alex if she is aware of Simon’s tweets and she says she sees like only 90% of his tweets, but not the other 10% where he tweets Miss Andy at midnight and tells him what a purty mouth he ass and how he would like to strech it! EEEWWW!!! OLD DRAG QUEENS!

And now let’s talk about the Morocco trip and why Ramonzon, LuMan and the rest of these Housewives are permanently 86th from Morocco and are not allowed to travel there anymore. EVER! That camel that tried to kill LuMan already told the other camels to watch out for these hags and if they come back they’re getting camel stomped and not just LuMan this time. That camel knew exactly what it was doing! LuMan gets all defensive about playing matronly prison guard and making everyone miserable with her dictator actions at the Morocco vacation. See that’s why the camel wanted to throw her off it’s back and pee on her and I wish it would of.

Ramonzon gets asked why she got these bitches 86th from Morocco with her rude comments and she proceeds to double insult that country by saying some crazy statistics about how it is a crappy third world dusty bowl. LuMan laughs her ass off about that insult since she is not over there right now where they would chop her penis off for laughing at shit like that.

Miss Andy asks Gonzo if she is racist for not trusting people with her luggage in another country and she gives him some lame answer, Miss Andy brings up how Gonzo doesn’t seem well-traveled because she acts ignorant like she hasn’t gotten out of the woods much. Sonja tries to defend that by saying that even when she visited the “Royal Palace” she was paranoid they were going to steal her luggage. This bitch doesn’t quit does she?!

Dumb ass Alex gets asked why she is such a nerd and got her ass beat in Morocco for no reason other than trying to fight Ramonzon’s battles to desperately kiss her ass while Ramona ran around with her real best friend Gonzo laughing her ass off  and getting blitz. Alex sits there like a doofus acting like she jumped in that mosh pit of snakes for her own pleasure. Sure bitch, sure whatever you say. Alex then calls LuMan a “thug in a cocktail dress” and offers her a T-shirt. LuAss laughs at her for selling T-shirts at the swap-meet like a loser, but Alex doesn’t care because she is going to make 120 million from those T-shirts. Jilliousy goes into a yelling tirade at Alex and yells at her repeatedly “I don’t care about you!”.

They also show the clip where Kelly was fucking  with Alex’s head when she told her to close her eyes. HA HA HA HA!!! I can’t believe she let that bitch stick her dick in her ear and mindfuck her sideways like that!  HA HA HA HA!!!! See Alex you can’t go up against beast like these on your own, you needed Bethenny there if Beth was theres that shit would of never happened because she made Kelly feel intimidated and stupid and it would of being Beth and Alex fucking with Kelly. And because Kelly only knows like two large words and she has to repeat them constantly to establish her credibility that she is an intelligent human and not a shaved ape like we all thought, she starts calling Alex “inauthentic” again, and again plus a “bad actress” because I guess in her pea brain she thinks that they are all on a scripted TV show. Then they all lose their shit into a full-blowned bitching tirade again like a bunch of “chicken heads” like Cindy calls them.

Miss Andy asks Ramona about Mario’s infidelities and reads an email that questions the fortune teller and Mario’s suspicious OH SHIT! reactions when Ramoner told him the whole fortune-teller prediction . Ramona sits there denying that shit and says she doesn’t believe what the fortune-teller told her, she says that Mario is a good guy and he is faithful to her even the time he porked that hoochie over the  pool table. Alex jumps in and says Simon also joined taking turns in the pool table gang-bang  and he totally wasn’t at the gay bar (later that night) because he is a “straight man”. HA HA HA HA!!!

Then Andy reads another viewer email about Alex’s droopy ass floppy “brawles” boobs and ask if she ever wears a “brawer”.  Alex points out that she is wearing one now.

Andy asks Cindy if her ass even knows her children’s name and she screams I HAVE A NANNY THAT SLEEPS WITH ME! Ok I didn’t see that one coming!

Andy then asks LuAnn if the Count knows her new boyfriend  Jacques Azoulay is Jewish? Does he know Jill is Jewish? Because LuAnn gets in bed with that bitch too. Cindy was confused about the comment, bitch didn’t watch last season.

We also find out that LuMan and her man go to the same barber shop to get their head done.

Andy saves the best question of the night for last  “How do you feel that Bethenny is worth 10 times more than all of you combined?”  LuMan tries to say some stupid bullshit about how Bethenny is still catching up to their money. Bitch she left your old ass in the dust, by like 40 million dollars looong ago! Jilliousy spews out all pissed off a obvious jealous comment that she doesn’t count Bethenny’s money. Finally none of them can take the jealousy anymore and all the bitches explode into a massive splatter of excrement. Poor Miss Andy will never be the same!

Ya habibi Bitches!

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It’s all fun and games until shit gets real. And it looks like it’s getting real ridiculous right now with the Real House Bitches of New York who apparently are at each others throat for REAL now.

These ho’s may have to be replaced according to insiders who are saying there is too much drama going on, “Things have gotten so bad that producers are worried that this cast can no longer film together,”.  And the drama has really turned ugly now because these bitches won’t let anything go,“All the ladies have long memories and will not let the smallest thing go. The level of hatred at the moment is so high that it’s toxic and all consuming. It doesn’t make for good TV drama. Now it’s just petty and sad.”

Jill Zarin is especially pissed off and feels that she is getting ganged up on by the IHJZ blog. According to the insider the other housewives have met with the owner of the site and support the blog. This especially infuriates Jill, “This is nothing short of cyber-bullying, when your address is put out online and readers are encouraged to send condolence cards,” according to a friend of Jill, “This sort of behavior should be rejected by all the cast members, no matter how hot disagreements get on the show. It has stopped being a TV fight and is now a real life battle that is unacceptable.”

Ramona Singer openly admits she supports the site, “Its a goof, spoof, you can’t take it seriously,” She also says she don’t let the shit posted online get to her . “If I took all the negative things that were written about me — you need to have a sense a humor!” she says she likes the site,  “I think [the hate site] is right-on and perceptive,”

Ramona says she admits she supports the site and is NOT distancing herself from it despite it’s name. Bethenny Frankel also admits she supports the IHJZ site and follows it on Twitter. The source adds, “Of the eleven people Bethenny follows on twitter, yes just eleven, the founder of the site is one,” and “Bethenny doesn’t support or follow anyone from Bravo, not even Andy Cohen, who cast her and made her rich and famous, yet she does follow a person who spills hate.”

Is it possible that there is too much drama going on and it’s becoming disturbing but how?

Also according to HollywoodLife.com Cindy Barshop and Alex Mccord will not be returning next season. If the rumor it’s true then that means that Bravo already started cleaning house and taking out the “gaw-bage”. In the same post it states that the Real Housewives Of Miami Lice has been renewed for a second season and Miss Andy is looking for new cities to cast despite statements he made earlier that he would not be looking for new House-ho’s to pimp out.

Sources

Huffingtonpost and HollywoodLife

Thanks to all my readers for the heads up on this gossip!

LuAnn plans a party for her one year anniversary to Mr. Peppi Lapoopie and her music producer who I am sure glued those sunglasses to his face by now, has a surprise for LuAnn a surprise that WASN’T planned or scripted or arranged by Bravo into this trainwreckage of delusion. No of course not. And so the surprise of the year comes out and is none other than singer Natalie Cole. Really? Natalie sings her own version of “Money Can’t Buy You Ass”.

I don’t want to say anything bad about this lady but is she like broke from her previous drug problems? Is that why she is here?

At Ramona’s house Silex is visiting, Mario and Avery are also there and the conversation they are having  is about Ramona having more children and wondering if her medicare supplement plan will cover her pregnancy because as told by Avery Ramona still gets her periods at her age. Ramona is sad because she wishes she could of had another kid since Avery is soon to leave for college and she needs another child she can leave to fend for himself past 9:30 with no dinner.

Mario laughs because he says that instead of a sibling they can just get Avery a dog OR IF Ramona really wants to have another baby Mario can also drop off one of the illegitimate kids (because I know they’re out there) he has with one of his girlfriends so that Ramona can babysit while Mario and his mistress go out on a Friday nigth date and I’m sure all Ramona would need is a TV to park the baby in front of and some Pinot Del Wino so her ass can sit there and drink until she passes out drunk while the baby watches cartoons, it would be just like she had another kid minus the pregnancy because isn’t she like 60?

Mario is disappointed because he was hoping that by now Avery and Ramona would of  both forgotten about getting Avery a sibling she can bully around. Avery seems very involved in this decision of having another baby. WHY? Did she get knocked up during her sweet sixteen and Ramona is just going to cover it up by pretending she had the baby meanwhile Avery goes away to another school far away?  Because that makes more sense and I know Ramonzon ain’t preggo and even if she could get pregnant can her body even handle that abuse?  And I mean the abuse she would go through when she sees spiders crawling on the walls  by not being able to walk around with a daily IV full of Pinot Del Borracho for the whole nine months?

Mario jumps out of the window because he doesn’t want to deal with this situation and runs.

While they are all having dinner Alex’s phone rings and SURPRISE IT’S THE COUNTLESS!! LuAnn calls up Alex to invite her and her wife Simone to her and Peppi Lapoopie’s one year anniversary. Everyone laughs and wonders if LuAss will get to keep her Countess title if she marries Peppi  or if she will have to give it up and just become simple Mrs. La Poopie and work in his rented winery stomping grapes.

Alex apologizes to the crew for taking that call, but points out she walked away from the dinner table so don’t anybody smack her. Gonzo tells her she has better manners than other bitches she had over and she is glad she doesn’t have to shove a toilet blackberry up her bung-hole.

Alex does a photo shoot for a magazine that she is NOT “cool enough for”. And while she is there getting her  dry yellow hair did and  the meth potholes and sores covered up with makeup on her Tales from the Crypt sunken skin,  Simone is hanging around wanting Alex to hurry up because he is running behind schedule and he has to meet a man about a horse in an alley.  I didn’t know alley crack dealers have schedules, but okay then. Alex is not even ready yet.  Alex yells at his ass to “cool his jets, cause mama’s makin’ money!”. Yeah, that hooch and crack cost money!

Simon then goes onto a  bragging spewage about how awesome “cool” Alex made the US Weekly’s worst dressed of 2010 along with Lady Gaga. Simon must be disappointed that his Rainbow Britte Rinestone wearing crazy ass didn’t make that list along with his pleader spandex.

Because these attention whoring bitches like to always display their dirty laundry (trailer park style) in front of everybody and their mama, Sonja arranges for Cindy to meet her at some flower shop to make amends over the toaster oven breakfast that Cindy shit on with her conference call. Of course Gonzo shows up wearing all kinds of fur and her hair looks like a bird nest as always this time I think I saw birds flying out of that crazy bitche’s hair.

Cindy says she doesn’t understand what this delusional, split-personality twat’s obsession is, with trying to make amends with her again and AGAIN, when it will all end up in a bitch slapping fest anyways, but fuck it. Cindy needs to go somewhere and think about what she’s going to wear the next day. And that is exactly what she does too when DeluSonja sits there rambling about how “the Churchills” would NOT dare do that insulting shit to Mrs. Morgan of taking a conference call at her table, which is of course followed by a trail of spewage over how Gonzo is a business woman and all the rich-folk she used to shoot the shit with and blah, blah, blah, Churchills blah, Vanderbilts blah, Rockefellers, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Meanwhile Cindy’s eyes just glaze over as she continues thinking about what the fuck she is going to wear the next day and as DeluSonja rambles on and on and on she sounds more and more like the teacher from Charlie Brown, MUAH, BUAH, MUAH, BUAH, BUAH, BUAH BUAH. Bitch was laughing too when Gonzo was going on and on.

Although Sonja-Gonzo had a good reason to be pissed at Horse Teeth, Sonja’s  argument  was weak and she sounded like  a delusional old woman who squats in a decrepit house while she lives in her faded glory memories, when she was a socialite. Wait a minute what the fuck am I saying?  She sounded like?!  I just described her delusional ass to a T! She better find another potato truck to ride and fall off from fast.

Their little meeting ends up the same way Cindy expected it to, and the bitches end up bitch slapping each other over who is meaner to their servants. Horse Teeth walks out leaving a pissed off Gonzo  who is left talking to herself about all the royalty she used to hang out with whom ya’ all know damn well all those rich people don’t even speak to her anymore, now that she is considered poor by their standards and a joke for being on this show I’m sure.

And now another bitch who is too delusional to know what the hell is going on we have Ramonzon visiting with Gonzo who has the Pinot Hooch ready and to Gonzo’s surprised Ramona declines the precious Pinot and announces that she may be preggers. PREGGERS??!! Screams Gonzo in horror, BUT HOW? Aren’t you like 60? Ramona says it’s possible because she still gets her periods and right now she is late. DeluSonja says she believes Ramona about this bullshit since she was also told to have a “very young uterus” and Ramona may have that shit as well since she downs Pinot Hoochilio like it’s water so I guess being an alcoholic keeps you young. According to these ho’s fucked up back ass-wards advice.

It’s time for LuAss’s party, which is taking place on a fishing boat that’s going to circle around the Statute Of Liberty which was brought to America by LuAnn’s former husband’s family as stated by Ramonzon. All the bitches arrive. Kelly says she hopes they don’t make her stupid ass walk the plank because she can’t swim.  Silex is also there and Alex says that she is not there for LuAss’s she is there for the food and booze and hoping to score some fishing boat-meth from a doc-ho’.

LuAnn sees her children at this shindig, whom she hasn’t seen all week or maybe all month (like Ramoniac said) and tells her kids she misses them. Then, she sneaks off and tells her son Noel to escort singer Natalie Cole down the stairs to do her duet.

Kelly gets disgusted when she sees Alex and Simon mean tweeting about these ho’s. But they’re not mean tweeting they are texting each other talking mad dog shit about these skanks.

Ramonzon who is late for her period is also late for this party and Jill notices this, so she decides to get her spoon and  and stir that shit-pot by telling LuAnn to confront Ramona over being late, but LuAnn surprisingly ignores Jill’s demands for a bitch slapping on Ramona and walks away, this leaves Jill jonesing for drama so she decides to harass and follow Gonzo and Ramoners who have now locked themselves up in the bathroom. Jill wonders why those skanks have locked themselves in the toilet and says that she hasn’t seen that kind of behavior since Studio 54 when her ass used to snort coke in the bathroom during her lunch breaks when she worked there as a cleaning lady. Damn that bitch was around back then?

While Sonja and Ramona are locked up in the bathroom Ramona can’t pee because she’s been refusing her Pinot Moonshiner and this is the only liquid that Ramona can pee with not water her body is no longer able to drink  and process any other liquids that are not white wine.

Jill keeps complaining about what a couple of low life skanks these 2 bitches are who are not classy like Jill who likes to press her ear to the door to see if those skanks are making out or snorting coca.  Finally, Jill gets impatient and starts pounding on the door LET ME IN BITCHES! LET ME IN! I GOTTA SHIT IT’S COMING OUT!! LET ME IN!!! This doesn’t work of course it just makes Ramona not be able to pee on that stick even more. I wonder if she also couldn’t pee because the cameras where in the bathroom with them?

Ramona ends up not peeing on the stick, but pees overboard instead, Gonzo is disappointed Ramona is not preggers with a menopause baby and able to ruin LuAnn’s party by making it about Ramona.

Jill says that Ramona is a delusional skank because she is mistaken pregnancy for her ‘knock knock menopause is at the door”  life change. Very true!

Mario looks nervous throughout this entire episode because he doesn’t want to be a papa for the seventh, eight or nine time.  If he doesn’t want to be a papa again he better wrap that shit up when he is banging Gonzo (did ya’ all see how he checked out her fat ass when she was walking?) but right now he is more concerned about working on getting Ramonzon drunk enough to finally agree to the threesome he wants with Ramonzon and Gonzo, (sounds like a whole lot of crusty old ass there!). Why do you think he keeps texting Sonja letting her know what Ramona is wearing before she leaves the house so that Sonja and Ramona can match? I guess he is into some weird twin fetish bullshit too.

Finally it is time for the big surprise. Noel escorts Miss Natalie Cole down the staircase to sing the duet with LuAnn who ruins the song with her man voice, there was dogs in Brooklyn howlering because they confused LuAsse’s singing with a mating call.

The camera focuses on Simon who is giving LuAss the looks of death. Did ya all notice how he looked all pissed off like he was jealous that the Countless got to sing duet with a legend? Or was it just me? Anyway, he gave me the creepers when he did that shit and I know damn well later on that night when he got home he was sticking pins in a wax doll wearing a wig made with LuAnn’s pubic hair. EEEEWWWW!!!

And the  Bravo little blurbs come on we read that:

Jill’s daughter Ally quit her school and Jill is still an asshole. (I heard she left the school because she thought she was a celebrity and no one likes her, plus she got her stomach pumped for alcohol poisoning. Pobrecita nina she used to be so nice too!)

LuAnn is happy being a drunk weekend mom. She is also still an asshole.

Ramona accepted she is pregnant with Ramonapause and the only babies she should look forward to are the  grand-babies Avery is going to give birth to when she has kids .

Kelly wants a boyfriend she doesn’t have to beat the demonic-shit out of him.

Cindy still has horse dentures.

Alex uses the word “caca” instead of “class”.

Simon still wants to be a housewife.

And Sonja says she is optimistic about her toothless ass “shaking a can on the street” for spare-change and hopes to make millions this way.

And that’s the end of this season, until next season Bitches!

Here is a clip of Jill’s big performance on ‘White Collar’. People tweeted that her performance stank:

Kiki (@kikinitwithkiki): “Jill Zarin on #WhiteCollar? Oh, Jill, don’t quit your day job. #RHONY”

Grace Yu (@graceyu): “Why is Jill Zarin on #whitecollar?”

Rachel Leigh (@TheRachelLeigh): “What the heck is jill zarin doing in an episode of white collar? Im a fan of jill but celebrity-wanna-be much? #sticktoyourdayjob.”

After they all threw the tomatoes she went home. See what ya’ all think of her performance:

LuAnn de Lesseps decided to go blonde now, and here is her lame ass explanation for that: “I wanted to try something new,” she also wanted to channel Marilyn Monroe, “I wanted to look like Marilyn Monroe for a minute!”. I guess her boyfriend Pepi Lapoopie must be happy with her new blonde Kim Zolziak wig because she says she is going to stay a blonde for a while, “I’m definitely going to keep the new look for awhile.” And she says her boyfriend likes to pretend she is some blonde skank, “He’s having fun with this other woman,”.

Finally LuAnn admits she wanted to be blonde just like every other ho’ out there: “I’ve always wanted to be blonde. Every girl dreams of being blonde some time.”. Ok that’s fair I admit I like going as a blonde-ho’ too when I hit Vegas.

However,this dude Ted Gibson is straight up lying to LuAss and says that she looks younger with the blonde hair but I disagree: “I think she looks 20 years younger. It looks sexy and fresh,”. I think it’s the other way around, the blonde hair just doesn’t look good on her. Sorry bitch you made a cuter younger tranny with dark hair.

And here is LuAnn’s new video by the way. I recommend you watch it ONLY  if you’re bulimic and need a break from sticking your finger down your throat:

A reader left this interesting comment here. According to my commenter about a month ago she was driving somewhere in Sagaponack (I guess that must be somewheres in New York?) when she literally came across none other than young Miss Victoria de Lesseps.

My commenter states she nearly hit Victoria and a gang of her friends with her car when they ran across the street barefoot and all of them were still drunk off their asses from the previous night that the toxic fumes from the alcohol were enough to make an elephant drunk.

Here is the comment copied and pasted:

Well four weeks ago in Sagaponack we were going out to get breakfast for the FAM. Guess who was walking with her friends in the middle of the street. She and her two guys friends had no shoes on wouldn’t get out of the middle of the road. Basically I had to stop the car or hit them. I asked if they wanted a ride and of course they said yes, very dazed. I asked on the ride to Bridge hampton Starbucks, what happened. They stank like liquor, my car filled up with the smell. They all said they went to a party and slept over, but when they woke up they jumped out the 2nd floor window. They had no shoes. I asked if they needed a ride home or to their Mom’s. Vicotria commented that she had sneaked out the night before and she was going to be very mad.

Truthfully I had no idea who these kids were until this morning. I turned on the TV while I was getting dressed and there she was with her mother planning some sweet 16 party.

Good luck LuAnn, maybe be a more involved parent would work, versus partying in Morroco

This was some fucked up shit that happened to this little baby and I hope that sick bitch Casey rots in hell with the devil.  You all don’t even know how disgusted I am with this verdict that every time I think about it I want to throw up!

This one time  the Housewives as well as myself and all my readers agree with their feelings of disgust over this bullshit verdict.

Check out the tweets the housewives blasted out after the Casey Anthony verdict:

Bethenny Frankel – “I’m so disgusted by the verdict that I’m almost consumed by it.”

Ramona Singer– “A very sad day that justice was not served for Caylee. Please let that poor little baby rest in peace.”

Caroline Manzo – “The defense team should show some kind of respect for this poor baby. Now is not the time for arrogance….. Jackass”

Teresa Giudice– “So insane to be in FL w Gia when Casey Anthony verdict comes out… As a mom of 4 beautiful girls, I just can’t… #disgusting #RIPCaylee”

Melissa Gorga – “Shame on you Casey… Bye….”

Kyle Richards - “So exactly WHO IS responsible for dumping Caylee’s lifeless body away like trash? nobody?”

Jill Zarin– “I can NOT believe Casey Anthony was found NOT GUILTY! What..the glove didn’t fit? The is terrible. I am SHOCKED.”

R.I.P. Caylee.