Because this was so fucking hilarious and all of you guys posted links to it, I felt I needed to post this. Too funny! The cast members from SNL that played this hilarious Real Housewives Of Disney skit along with recent fucknut and messy bitch Lindsay Lohan mocked the Real Housewives of all the cities and used bits and pieces and mixed and matched a collage of the stupid and ridiculous shit those bitches do on a daily basis. The result was a lot of laughs that my ribs where hurting from laughing at these bitches and their mockery of the Real Skanks.

That crazy bitch LiLo did a great job sort of mocking the Wig Kim Zolciak/Joker Face getting her wig pulled. Abby Elliott as Belle jacking Bethenny Frankel’s intro. Nasim Pedrad as Princess Jasmine clowning on the Chankla Face’s crying outburst except this chick is not scary looking like Chankla. Vanessa Bayer as Snow White with a sassy New Joysey House Ho’ accent. The hilarious Kristen Wiig as a drunken Cinderella clowning on  Kim Richard’s sloppy antics. And also Taran Killam who played a combo of Slade Slimey and Eddie Judge’s questionable closet camping leanings (everyone has wondered that) Too funny!

Teresa Giudice has a new yearly tradition, to cause a brawl and cut a bitch at the annual Posche Fashion Show. This year it appears the shenanigans involved Kim De Paola (owner of Posche) and Melissa Gorga her sister-in-law. The genius instigators of drama that is the Bravo producers had invited Kim G to the fashion show to set up the circus of drama. It must be the end of the world coming people, because Kim G refuse the invite because she felt she was going to get set up. Supposedly Teresa and Kim D (the other Kim) wanted to “expose” Melissa’s past as a stripper.

Because of all this bullshit Jacqueline started making up an excuse that she was sick, and wanted to skip out on the reunion show. She tweeted: “I feel nauseous and feverish. No reunion for me.Sorry guys.XOXO!” Never has a housewife skipped on the reunion, but I guess we have a first. Apparently Jacqueline attended  the Posche Fashion Show and supposedly Teresa and Kim D teamed up to fuck with Melissa. This is what Jacqueline tweeted: “Someone( not me) got set up tonight. There are some sneaky people trying to make someone look bad & then play innocent on camera. Sad.” An insider told Reality Tea that Teresa and Kim D tried to start a rumor Melissa was a stripper “Teresa was involved in a rumor that started which stated Melissa was a stripper,” the insider tells Reality Tea adding that “Melissa was never a stripper.” And adds “Of course, once Teresa got caught, she [started] playing the blame game. Teresa and Kim D were part of this “set up” which is why Joe Gorga came at the end of the fashion show.”

Psycho Joe Gorga went on a tweeting verbal bitch smacking rampage against Teresa. From Reality Tea:– “I thought the saying was blood is thicker than water. #BULLSHIT”. Upon arriving at the fashion show, Joe had it out with Kim D and had to be calmed down by Caroline.

Teresa managed to finally push Jacqueline and Caroline to their limit with her bullshit and now they no longer speak to her. The source reveals the only reason Caroline and Jacqueline had to sit with Teresa and show up to the fashion show was because Bravo forced them to.

Jacqueline kept going off on her Twitter, “2b honest.I’m tired of the BS &shitty low life people.I didn’t know this was what I signed up 4.I have 2rise above&move on.”

The initial rumor was that Teresa got into it with that bitch Monica Chacon at the Fashion Show, but as it turns out Monica refused the invite from Bravo also and decide to skip. Bravo was also rumored to have been inviting Joker Face to the Russian roulette party and that bitch refused also!

The insider also told Reality Tea that Teresa and Kim D where all hanging out together and filming all day, they even arrived at the fashion show together! (As dates of each other?) and Teresa has alienated all of her costars. That’s why she is hanging around that witch Kim D because nobody else will play with her!

 While Teresa was prostituting herself to Bravo by bringing in the drama and taking out her aggressions on bitches whose husbands still want to sniff their panties and all of that good shit was going down, Barney Devito was hanging around his girlfriend. Supposedly:

Barney Devito was “spotted” having an intimated dinner with a misterious brunnete woman who was in her late 20s or early 30s.

From Radaronline:

“I was in the T.G.I. Fridays and saw Joe and this woman who was NOT Teresa having a drink in a booth by the bar,” eyewitness Erin exclusively told RadarOnline.com.

“They were drinking martinis and when the woman finished hers she took a sip out of Joe’s glass too.  They looked like they were having a good time together and laughing with each other.”

After a waiter brought them wet naps the woman opened hers and “wiped Joe’s hands off with hers,” Erin said.  “It was really intimate to see her touching his hands like that.

“They looked very comfortable and cozy together.”

  I can’t tell how old that “mysterious” woman looks like, but I think she looks like Joker Face! (Danielle Staub) Wouldn’t that be some shit if it was Joker Face?

Jacqueline did NOT attend the reunion like she stated and gave an interview to People Magazine confirming she is quiting this unhealthy circus of chaos:

“Jacqueline [Laurita] definitely quit,” a source tells PEOPLE. “She had to walk away for her sanity.”

A source tells PEOPLE that Laurita “had no intention of going to the reunion, and the other women weren’t expecting her to turn up.”

 Meanwhile on her Twitter account, costar Teresa Giudice also hinted at tensions at the fashion show – and with Jacqueline – writing, “I don’t even wanna go there b/c I don’t fight on twitter not w/ fans, not haters, not w/ mean RTs & def not w/ a friend (ahem) or my family!”

 Giudice also wrote on Wednesday evening: “The rumors are getting ridiculous. Let’s get this straight: I LOVE my WHOLE family. Would never do anything to hurt them.”The show lost original cast member Danielle Staub last year, and returned with new cast membersKathy Wakile and Melissa Gorga for its third season.

“I can’t be part of the Charade anymore,” Laurita Tweeted Wednesday. “It’s unsettling. It’s disturbing & against what I stand for. I’m a REAL housewife.”

 Later, she reiterated her point, writing, “I’d like to only focus on positive things now please. I threw the trash out.I’m cleaning now and reorganizing.Starting fresh and new.”

 When reached, Bravo reps had no comment.

Remember Dina Manzo had already hinted that someone was quitting!

Thank you all that send me links to this juicy piece of gossip!

As was reported by TMZ  earlier Chankla Face failed to report the brutal ass beating she supposedly got from Russell right before he committed suicide, but recently Entertainment Tonight reported that there are graphic pictures proving Russell did in fact give Chankla a savage beating that left this bitch hysterically sobbing. As much as I despise this Chankla bitch, I do believe Russell did some damage however, it is now looking like this ho’ is exaggerating this shit to get sympathy and milk this cow dry. Funny how the Entertainment Tonight report came out AFTER she was questioned for NOT reporting Russell’s abuse to the police.

Radaronline also questions the existence of these pictures:

Entertainment Tonight broke the story Monday night that it had viewed images of the reality TV star that anchor Chris Jacobs described to viewers as “graphic.” (RadarOnline.com has not seen the photographs).

“I’ve seen shocking photos of Taylor with a deeply bruised right eye and a terrible trauma that stretched from here (the mouth) to here (the eye socket),”  Jacobs said.

“We are not ready to show them to you just yet, but I can tell you that it looks as though she was hit in the eye with tremendous force.”

ET did not say if it planned to broadcast the photographs of a battered Taylor, 40.

But the show suggested the photos were snapped after a violent confrontation between Taylor and Russell, which required her hospitalization and cosmetic surgery, as RadarOnline.com first revealed.

“They’re graphic photos of Taylor after she was seemingly beaten by Russell,” Jacobs said.

“It’s new evidence that Taylor may have beaten before she filed for divorce.”

Russell Armstrong, 47, was found dead at a friend’s home in Los Angeles on August 16, just a month after his six year marriage to Taylor collapsed. Officials say he committed suicide by hanging himself. A memorial service will be held for him on Wednesday.

Brittny Gastineau, a close friend of Taylor, also spoke to Entertainment Tonight, revealing that the reality starlet was “devastated” after Russell’s suicide.

“At the end of the day, even if he was abusive, she still loved him as the father of his child,” Gastineau said, adding: “As much as you hate, hate someone for treating you like that, you still have love for them.”

The  pictures that supposedly Entertainment Tonight  got a hold of are very “graphic” and show Chankla with a bruised bloody face and a gash that extended from her mouth to eye. Could this be the earlier pictures with the gash in her eye that according to Chankla and her friends the damage on those pictures were NOT caused by Russell? This whole web is getting so tangled it’s hard to keep up. However, Entertainment Tonight has NOT released those pictures so everyone is wondering if they even exist.

Russell was also said to have been taking medications for depression, but he quit taking those weeks before he killed himself.

From Radaronline:

“Russell had been doing so well when he was on the anti-depressants. He was prescribed the meds to control his rage issues. Russell stopped taking the meds two weeks before his suicide,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com.

Taylor had encouraged her estranged husband to stay on the anti-depressants. “Taylor was very supportive of him taking the meds. All of a sudden about two weeks ago, Russell stopped taking the meds though,” the insider says.

Ed Winter, Assistant Coroner for Los Angeles tells us:”No medication bottles for Mr. Armstrong were recovered from the scene.”

Russell’s mother has also been very vocal about NOT wanting Bravo to release one frame with Russell in it, OR ELSE! But despite her being upset over Bravo footage of Russell, Chankla and his family have agreed to take Russell’s body back to Texas and his funeral services will not be filmed for Bravo. Russell is also said to be having two funeral services. The network is still sweating and scrambling for the release date of the next season which was pushed ahead. Chankla has also been in hiding following Russell’s death and is “dreading” seeing his family at the funeral.

From Radaronline:

Taylor has been holed-up in her Bel Air Crest rental house with her daughter, Kennedy since the tragedy.

“Taylor is absolutely dreading seeing Russell’s parents, and the rest of his family,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com. “She feels that they all hate her, and that they blame her for Russell’s suicide. Taylor just wants to get through the memorial on Wednesday. She hopes that Russell’s family doesn’t try and cause a scene. This is a memorial service for the father of her daughter — Kennedy will be at the service as well.”

But, it’s not just Taylor that is being blamed by Russell’s family – Bravo, the network that airs the Real Housewives franchise is also coming under fire.

Russell Armstrong’s mother,John Anne Hotchkiss told CNN HLN’s Jane Velez-Mitchell last week that Bravo “better not air one frame of my son, or else.”

In addition, Russell’s step brother, Wade Jackson told RadarOnline.com exclusively that: “Russell’s whole family was very close and they’re considering suing Bravo.”

Meanwhile, at the memorial on Wednesday: “There will be no remains present. And the family may witness the placement of his urn on Thursday or Friday”, a source tells RadarOnline.com.

The memorial will be held at 3pm PT Wednesday at the Church of the Hills at Forest Lawn-Hollywood Hills — the same church where actress Brittany Murphy was memorialized after her sudden death in 2009.

Family, friends, and costars from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are expected to attend the memorial, which will be closed to the public and not filmed for the reality show.

Russell’s remains have been cremated and his ashes will be divided among his family and his estranged wife.

Other dumb-asses that are trying to stay relevant have also voiced their two cents that nobody gives two shits about. First Joker Face  stated that SHE was also suicidal because of the show (HA HA HA!!! BULLSHIT!) and that one skeletor bitch that crashed the Whitehouse with her husband, Michaele Salahi also put her two shits in and said that Russell “He Didn’t Understand What He Was Getting Into”. But voicing her lame ass opinion didn’t get her or her weird ass fat husband back on the show when they tried to duped Bravo into letting them crawl back in the Housewives Familia via the Beverly Hillbilly House Skanks Andy Cohen told them to fuck off because “we are not interested”.

Richard Wakile who is married to Kathy (Teresa’s cousin) called some store named Something Sophisticated so that him and his son can score some free shit because they think that they are important celebrities now for being on that crap show, (Real House Skanks Of El Culo Del Diablo).

Shit turned ugly when Richard and his son Joseph only got two tee-shirts each out of the deal, but it was mentioned AFTER Richard and his son had LEFT the store. An email was send by Richard’s PR bitch telling them to shove the tee shirts up their ass because ‘your hinny’ The Wakiles deserved to go in the store and ransack through merchandise getting whatever they want because of their(rolling eyes) high celebrity status.

Here is the original article from Radaronline:

Celebrities get a lot of free stuff, but what about when it’s just not enough?

RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned that the newest cast members of The Real Housewives of New Jersey are throwing their weight around to get free swag, and burning bridges along the way.

Richard Wakile, who is married to Kathy, the cousin of Teresa Giudice, and his son Joseph reached out to a store called Something Sophisticated [Link [Link]] in Franklin Lakes, New Jersey to do a photo shoot in exchange for free shirts.

However, things turned unpleasant when the store owner only gifted them two free shirts each. The Wakiles’ personal assistant hit the roof and emailed the store owners on behalf of their clients — claiming it was in “bad taste and disrespectful not only to give both Richard and Joseph a limit of two items that they could take from your shop but also not allowed them to take clothes other than [your] in house brand.”

Ed Bergan and Bijan Zamaniantold RadarOnline.com that they were stunned when their generosity was thrown back in their face.

“They reached out to us, checked out our store, thought it would be mutually beneficial, so they called us, we set up the time, we hired a photographer, bought champagne and food. As far as we were concerned it went great,” Ed said about the July 14 shoot.

Celebrity photographer [Link [Link]]Tom Murrofirst alerted RadarOnline.com to the story.

“We did the shoot at 11 and got the email about 6:30 Friday night. It wasn’t until afterwards that we heard that they weren’t appreciative at all,” Bijan said.

In the email, Leslie, the personal assistant to Mr. and Mrs. Wakile, slammed Bergan and Zamanian writing: “Two shirts at a price point of a total for maybe $100 in exchange for all that associated your shop with both Richard and Joseph is not at all being thankful nor grateful for whom they are.”

Bijan said other cast members, like Chris and Albie Manzo wear shirts from the store and they’ve never had a problem with them.

“Distractions like this don’t help us become successful. We try to put our best foot forward and we tried to be extra generous and overcompensate,” Bijan told RadarOnline.com. “We work with other people from the show who all do our photo shoots. The Manzos have been supporters from day one. They are great guys. I don’t want the show to get a bad rap.”

WOW! I knew he was a shit stirrer and a he-gossiper but I dind’t think he was also an ungrateful bastard!

Thanks to Robin for the heads up on this story.

This was some fucked up shit that happened to this little baby and I hope that sick bitch Casey rots in hell with the devil.  You all don’t even know how disgusted I am with this verdict that every time I think about it I want to throw up!

This one time  the Housewives as well as myself and all my readers agree with their feelings of disgust over this bullshit verdict.

Check out the tweets the housewives blasted out after the Casey Anthony verdict:

Bethenny Frankel – “I’m so disgusted by the verdict that I’m almost consumed by it.”

Ramona Singer– “A very sad day that justice was not served for Caylee. Please let that poor little baby rest in peace.”

Caroline Manzo – “The defense team should show some kind of respect for this poor baby. Now is not the time for arrogance….. Jackass”

Teresa Giudice– “So insane to be in FL w Gia when Casey Anthony verdict comes out… As a mom of 4 beautiful girls, I just can’t… #disgusting #RIPCaylee”

Melissa Gorga – “Shame on you Casey… Bye….”

Kyle Richards - “So exactly WHO IS responsible for dumping Caylee’s lifeless body away like trash? nobody?”

Jill Zarin– “I can NOT believe Casey Anthony was found NOT GUILTY! What..the glove didn’t fit? The is terrible. I am SHOCKED.”

R.I.P. Caylee.

Oh, what a difference a season makes! Just last season every one watching wanted to jump through the TV and rearrange Cuntmille Grammer’s  Michael Meyers from Halloween melting mug because of her asshole-holic shenanigans.

But, it is being reported that this season the title of Queen Psychotic Bitch of the 90210 is going to the new delusional twat that joined this circus side-show, Brandi Glanville. Who, according to a secret source is starting shit with EVERYBODY.

From Radaronline: “Camille felt that she was made to be the resident villain during the first season and she is determined to not be seen that way again. Camille is getting along very well with Kyle this year, and they have had no arguments at all. Camille has enough drama going on with Kelsey, and she recognizes that she needs her female friends right now,”

The source also states new skank Brandi is like a genetically-engineered,  psycho bitch on steroids, who is storm-shit crazy. Her super, delusional, hurricane of drama hissy-fits put Cuntmille Grammer to shame and make her look like a quiet church mouse: ”Brandi is fighting with everyone on the show. Brandi makes Camille look like a saint,”.

Bravo producers are very happy they hired this crazy ho’, “Bravo executives brought Brandi in to spice things up because they felt there wasn’t enough tension and it was very, very boring to watch. The executives were concerned that without Brandi, the ratings would suffer because there wasn’t enough drama. Well, casting Brandi is paying off, big time. Brandi is all drama, all the time.”

Once again the Bravo producers used their genius powers of good for evil and brought in Brandi to stir up some serious level 10 hurricanes of drama because the camera men were falling asleep filming this boring  bullshit with a mellowed out Cuntmille, who was refusing to do her job and start some shit. She is even getting along with Kyle now! Imagine that!

I guess when Cuntmille ‘thought’ her bony ass was at the top of the ‘pecking order’ (what’s up with all these bitches and their delusional so called ‘pecking orders’?) and the bitch had no clue NO CLUE! That Kelsey was porking that other ho’ and she was about to get kicked to the curb. SHE was all acting like her shit didn’t stink and SHE was Kelsey Grammer’s spoiled rich main bitch, who could do what ever she wanted and get away with treating people like shit. Including Nick’s wife whom she constantly taunted by flaunting her questionable so called ‘friendship’ with Nick, and looking down at people whom she felt were below her, not to mention her constant obsessions over petty things when she thought she heard  another  bitch say fucked up things  about her, causing a war  that stretched out over an entire season of a show over something insignificant and lame she heard another bitch say. And she is the only one that heard it too.

Plus I bet her ass can afford all kinds of fancy ass expensive Beverly Hillbilly coke to snort and all sorts of different color pills that change the level of her insanity with more choices than a magic mood ring, this helps in fanning the fire of her crazy even more, I’m sure.

Now that her divorce settlement’s big lottery-check  is in jeopardy specially if she’s out there saying crazy shit and acting like an intolerable asshole, she is now forced to act right, and keep her blow-job hole quiet so she doesn’t strangle herself with her own tongue.

See, I knew the bitch could act right, it wasn’t like a condition she had, that prevented her from acting right. But, I guess it took money. I bet once she gets her settlement she will go back to good old Cuntmille Grammer Resident Asshole of the 90210.

The other ho’ who is bringing in the crazy in full blast this season is Chankla Face-Taylor Armstrong. Who, according to sources was told by her therapist she needs to truly bring out her inner inbred-Hillbilly and really go ‘Oklahoma’ on other bitches asses by getting up in their faces more and not backing down from a bitch smacking duel. I wonder if the therapist is on Bravo’s payroll?

Chankla Face has been reported to be going ‘Oklahoma’ specially on non-annoying  and super rich bitch Adrienne Maloof.

My advice to Chankla Face is, she better start eating something and bulk up at least thirty five pounds  if she wants to be fucking with Adrienne Maloof because that bitch seems pretty mellow but, I can tell  if, Chankla Face pisses her off she is going to drop her skinny bone Jone’s ass like she did that one boy, that was at her house training with her. And Chankla only weights like fifty pounds which is much less than that boy weights so Adrienne can break her in half. If she doesn’t get blown away by the wind first.

Also nobody is buying the bullshit Chankla Face  is selling OK Magazine  saying Russell gave her ‘diet herbal’ supplements because he was hocking them out of the back of his truck.  It was more than likely to help drop her seventy pound ass to thirty pounds because she was too fat and it was all Chankla’s idea.

 However, this diet thing is the reason why her ass is in such a constant foul mood and  explains why she is being 110 percent more bitchy this season.

At first I thought I was not going to be able to watch this new season because Bethenny is gone, but thank Goddess I get to watch her on BEA or else I would lose my shit.

This episode starts where we left these bitches off. Apparently this is the season where Alex Mccord takes no shit from bitches and will cut a ho if they look at her sideways. FINALLY! Bitch is from Brooklyn she needs to learn to represent that shit.

It looks like this entire season Jillousy is going to be going after Alex because Jill always has to go after the bitch she feels is below her, and since Alex doesn’t kiss her ass anymore and Bethenny is long gone, she now has to fuck with Alex because Jillousy always has to have a bitch to mess with. She also comes to my blog to leave nasty comments under the name ‘Suzanne’ and she changes her last name according to her split personality mood. 

 So we start with Ramona who is throwing a party for the new Ramoner Turtle Time Crazy Eyes Moonshine that she made in her bathtub with her feet, at midnight, while howling at the moon.

Alex and Simon show up to the shindig and run into Jillaousy to her dismay. Jill comes over to say ‘hi’ to Alex and Simon by giving them fake kisses and complements. In return Alex hits Jill in the back of the head while she drinks a diet Coke. Then, she says that fake bitch acts like nothing happened last year. Jill whines and wonders why Alex is such a bitch to her when she’s been nothing but nice. In her delusional little mind.

 This season Jillousy is also going to be doing a lot of hanging around Kelly Behemoth LooneyTunes. Since none of the other bitches want to play with her anymore, and the only one who doesn’t realize she is being played is Kelly; because she is mentally ill and an idiot. No offense to the mentally ill people or idiots. So Jill will be using her as her new meat puppet. And while Jill puts  her finger right up Kelly’s butthole, Jill will be able to control Kelly’s actions and also everything that comes out of Behemoth’s mouth.

 Jill declares her faux love for LooneyTunes ” I’m not a phony friend and I know Kelly went through a really rough time last year. I stuck by her because that’s what real friends do,” . And since I doubt Kelly is ever going to get her own spin off and I doubt any normal heterosexual male that isn’t a neanderthal will marry her beastly ass, she should be Jill’s pet friend for life. They are a match made in Bravo Hell. Aren’t they?

Jillousy asks Looney Tunes why she didn’t attend Ramona’s end of summer party. Kelly says that she didn’t go because Ramoner calls her what everybody already knows she is. ‘CRAZY!!!’. Then, Jillousy starts calling her dog Ginger crazy and Kelly steps in and says ‘don’t call her crazy’ then she starts chanting, I’M NOT CRAZY INSTITUZIONALISED YOU’RE THE ONE THAT’S CRAZY INSTITUTIONALIZED, YOU’RE DRIVING ME CRAZY INSTITUTIONALIZED. Then,she starts moshing in Jill’s room in circles until she poops the carpet and passes out. Yea she ain’t crazy. Mkay. I think Kelly needs to stop mixing her meds with booze that’s what I think.

Jill says she doesn’t want to fight anymore because the fight with Bethenny’ took years off her life’.  YEAH I CAN TELL! But the correct term is it ’put years’ on her life and face. Look at her she looks like she aged about 20 years, but it wasn’t because of  Bethenny it was because Jill is an asshole and a jealous bitch, that’s what did it. Ramona says,  ‘Jill will self-destruct’.

Next we get to visit with Alex and Simon from their new home based business. Alex says that Simon left the hotel to start his own company. Translation = his ass got fired and now he is unemployed, more than likely because Jillousy blabbed during the last reunion, that Alex was posing naked in those raunchy pictures at the hotel lobby where Simone used to work.

 Alex is also now a model at the age of 36! She models as a mummified corpse bride for Halloween stores  across the nation. Alex says she likes what she sees when she looks in the mirror and that she was very blessed in the good looks gene pool because, her parents where only first cousins and not brother and sister like Peggy Tanous from RHOC.

Kelly gets all jelaous that corpsy Alex is now modeling and says “being a model is defined by being photogenic. It does not mean you’re pretty.” That is true, I mean look at Bigfoot Kelly she is not even photogenic just butt ugly and they still hired her as a model even with that weird shaped body that can’t decide if it’s male or female!

On this episode we also get introduce to the new Ho’ Cindy. Who is a successful single mother that owns, ass and back waxing salons, that specialize in waxing hairy ass bitches and hot trannis that need extra help waxing their hairy scary asses.  Cindy is also part horse part Bigfoot, but her fancy expensive teeth implants came from a Tijuana show donkey, because she can afford shit like that.

 Cindy admits she’s had a hairy body problem because she is also part Bigfoot like Kelly and so she came up with a solution by making the waxing process sexy and she also made money in the process. Her sexy solution is putting bedazzled tracers on hairy bitches bellys’ to make a heart shaped hair patch and make the hair belly look more sexy. I bet that’s where Kelly Behemoth goes to get her hairy back and ass waxed.

Cindy also keeps reminding everyone that she has it all and doesn’t need a man to do it because not only does she have a successful ass waxing bizness, but also two twin babies at the ripe old age of 60 through IVF. What the fuck is IVF?? Ok so, I don’t know what  IVF  is.  Since some of us, used the back of the Camaro on prom night method 17 years ago, and you get a surprise baby nine months later.

Cindy continues to state that she doesn’t need a man. Is this bitch saying she doesn’t need a man the equivalent to Vicki saying she loves to work except that  in Cindy’s case she will keep it up, until her ass has a Kelly The Looney Tunes level 10 meltdown about being old, fat, lonely, and having donkey teeth implants? Because you know this bitch is desperate for a man! ‘Cause she keeps mentioning  it, every five seconds!  Jillousy gets the baby jealousy when she sees that this old bitch, who is also a  dinosaur like herself, was able to squeeze out 2 babies.

Of course Jillousy nominated herself to be the private investigator of this skank clan and the first thing she asks Mr. Ed is if those babies are hers or she stole them from some teenager at prom night, because Cindy is old enough to be those babies grandma Jill also asks where the baby daddy is.  Mr. Ed is uncomfortable with that question, but since she wants to fit into the house skank club she tells Jill the baby daddy is some donor who jacked off in a turkey baster because he was too disgusted to do Mr. Ed the old fashioned way.

Kelly Behemoth Looney Tunes tries to be the one liner funny gal and copies a line from Bethenny (I’m pretty sure) when she slams Silex for showing up to the ‘opening of an envelope’.

Now let’s spend time with Ramona who is interviewing ‘victims’ for her fetching bitch assistant position. Ramona interviews a parade of scared young women whom instead of interviewing like a normal person she goes over the line and insults them from their names to the jobs they have to the clothes they wear. I wonder how many of those poor young bitches went home crying and have now developed a phobia  from interviewing with Ramona that will need therapy because of the Ramoners evil insults.

I swear her and Vicki from OC are sisters from another mother, while Vicki sexually harasses her employees by pulling the bed covers at a hotel from them to spanking them for fucking up,  Ramona insults those bitches before they even start working for her. Seriously my Tarot cards tell me these two bitches will be having some serious ex- disgruntled employee lawsuits in their future, and will lose because of all the video evidence.

Sonja and LuAnn decided to double date with their current bootie calls and it all turned into a four way orgy. LuAnn and new boyfriend Jacquez switched places with Sonja and that artist dude what’s his face. Gonzo Sonja also doesn’t brush her nappy ass hair even thought she has all that money. I guess when she is having too much fun with her new boy toy there is no time to brush your hair or wash your ass. LuAnn’s new boyfriend Pepi Lapoop is very loud and he declares that he loves LuAnn and New York. Those French men they sure in fuck know how to get a green card don’t they.

Gonzo is also very happy with her new boytoy, she bought, who likes to come over her house to ‘hang paintings’. Gonzo would have never been able to go out with a hottie like the artist in the past since back then she had no looks or money and now that she has money, but still no looks she can at least buy hot guys.(to her he’s a hottie to me just your average looking guy).Therefore, Sonja is glad she did her time while married to grandpa bucks so that she can finally afford a hottie like the artist guy, who also wants to come over to LuAnn’s and see her bushy gardens. By the end of the evening they all had an orgy. Gonzo also states she wants to take it easy with the artist because she is only been divorced 27 years and that’s too soon to settle down.

The day of the wedding that all the bitches are invited to arrive, and Jill is complaining to Bawby about having trouble with the tube sock outfit that she wears under her dresses to hide the rolls of fat that hang from her skin. Next Jill has a shit fit and acts surprised, when she sees that Alex and Simon showed up to the wedding that she is attending to, even thought 2 seconds later during her camera interview she admits knowing they were coming.  Do these bitches forget they are being filmed?

The evening gets more fun when Alex catches Jill in another lie.  Jill is supposedly on the same committee with Alex for  a gay marriage walk. Jillousy lied to Alex and told her she is not going to the march because she will be out of town at a wedding, but this is this same wedding they are all at right now, and Alex sees no reason why this bitch can’t go to the march since she is driving after the wedding  to attend herself. Jillousy also lies and says that she is on some ‘honorary committee for people who ‘can’t attend’ sounds like bullshit to me.

Then, Ramoners gets caught talking shit about Donkey Teeth’s brother over some cigar bullshit and his amazon wife punches Ramoner in the back of the head for being an asshole and a fat mouth.

While Alex and Ramoners are out mingling and drinking Jillousy says that she is a changed woman “I said I couldn’t change and I have changed. And no matter what anyone does, I will always be nice and kind”. And blah, blah, blah and no more than five seconds later she is bad mouthing Alex to some gossipy pruny bitches (one of them looks Kim G’s sister). Those bitches sit there and talk smack about Alex and Jillousy tells Kim G’s sister “And that fucking bitch Alex McCord has the nerve to come up to me at the church and say ‘Oh I thought you were coming tomorrow because you’re on the committee.’ Look at her. She’s a bitch. She’s socializing at a party that is so above her,”.

What the fuck is this shit?!! Last time I checked this is America anybody can go to any place and socialize with whomever they want. This is not some ancient monarchy society where you’re not allowed to mingle with whomever you want. And besides who died and left Jillousy the queen police of social classes ? When the dumb bitch is as ghetto as they come since she crawled out of some dark butt-hole in Rhode Island.

 Then, the gossip sisters and Jillousy are talking smack about how dare Alex and Ramoners wear white to a wedding . Stupid Jill says is confusing her and that no one else is wearing white. Really? There was a shitload of other ho’s wearing white at that wedding, and how can this confuse Jill is she that stupid?

Alex comes over to the table where Jill is sitting with the gossip twins to confront her for being a bitch and a liar, and for not going to that gay rights march and for pretending she didn’t know Alex was attending the wedding or some confusing rigmarole bullshit like that.  Jill straight up lies and Alex says this season she is not letting Jillousy get away with shit and will sucker punch that fat bitch in the head if she keeps up her crap:  “I’m not going to let Jill weasel out of anything. She said she’s the queen of accountability but she’s really the queen of BS,”

Bravo decided to say ‘fuck this shit!’ And canceled the Real Housewives of DC because their ass was putting America to sleep. Bravo is donating the reruns  to people with insomnia. This was the very first time in history that Bravo canceled a Real House Skank show. These DC skanks were just waaayyy too boring and unwatchable.

I remember watching the episodes and watching the clock. One episode I saw, I think it may of being the first one where that bitch that looks like a quarterback. Mary (see I don’t even remember their names) was taking pictures with all 37 of her children in a white pajama nightmare.  I remember I got tired and I did start to dose off. Now, at first I thought it was because of all the mandatory overtime they were making me take at my well paid slave job, and that is why I also didn’t even recap that series. But now, I think I was dosing off because those hos’ were boring. TOO BORING!

The only time I watch and pay attention more was, when those delusional Salamis were on. And when that uppity bitch what the hell was her head the Princess, Stacey. Yeah, that’s her. Called out  Cat Litter Ommaney on her bigoted comments. But other than that, all of them (except for the Salamis) where unwatchable. There was something just boring and uppity about them, and I love clowning on people that are uppity. But these bitches were  just more boring than uppity and bland on top of that nothing there, just blaaahhh. 

A  couple of weeks back Radaronline had leaked out the news that Bravo was canceling this crap and then Lynda Erkiletian, got all butt hurt and was out there denying that shit. Now she probably feels stupid because the show got canceled anyways.

Here’s what all the DC ho’s were Tweeting about getting the boot to the ass:

Stacie Turner – “The past 18 months has truly been an amazing adventure! Thanks so much for your support. The best is yet to come…….” she tweeted.

Mary Amons – “Bittersweet day, memorable fun ride w/ @catommanney @THErealLyndaDC @stacieturnerdc & the Bravo family! Exciting projects ahead! #staytuned,” .

Lynda Erkiletian –“we are too dignified ! LOL ..its not a bad thing! Xo L,”

Cat Ommaney –“So the milk was spilt,and we cried over it..(meow meow) and then the next show..mmm well thats going to be ‘creme de la creme’!!..”

Michaele Salahi says that the reason that the series was canceled was because these skanks decided to put up a fight with Bravo and refused to film with the Salamis. Here’s what queen of delusional, Michaele had to say to PEOPLE:

I sort of knew this was going to happen,” Salahi, famous for being accused of crashing the White House in November 2009 and stirring up her fellow cast mates, tells PEOPLE. “The other women didn’t want me back on the show, and [Bravo executive] Andy [Cohen] stood his ground and said there wouldn’t be a show without me on it. I’m grateful to him for that.” 

 Bravo said no Salami’s no show and pulled the plug. I for once believe that crazy bitch Michaele is telling the truth. I know Bravo doesn’t want to waste their time and ours putting boring ass bitches on that are carefully watching their steps, to make sure they don’t accidentally shart in front of the camera. That’s not what America wants, we want drama filled clown ass bitches, with psychotic, rabie infested, delusional tendencies, and no filters of the mouth. We need those bitches to make fun of. Or at least I do because I’m sick like that.

Thank God Bravo canceled that useless paint drying mess. Those bitches were booooorrrrriiiiinnnnggg! Sorry Bravo you fucked up. They didn’t even have a living walking Halloween prop named Mama Elsa to keep me awake or wanting to watch their crap show. But then again they’re probably going to cancel the Miami Lice bitches too, unless they bring in six Mama Elsa’s to pour their drunken heavy accented garbles of wisdom while wearing their fine night gowns out of the  cobweb vault of the 70s, and drinking wine out of a punch bowl in the middle of the day and calling dumb bitches “ignorant”  and “emotionally immature”.  As it should be. Reminds me of my own NaNa except without the corpse looking 20 pound head.

On the last episode of Real House Skanks Of Miami Lice. Larsa Pippen confirmed to the world  she is worried that,  her husband Scottie Pippen is a skirt chaser who may be going broke.When Mama Elsa  La Bruja, told Larsa (LardAss) that she could sense Larsa was worried about a man. You could hear the record scratch in LardAss head  and, then the sound of her own screaming voice going: HOW DOES SHE KNOW! HOW DOES SHE KNOW!. Then the denial, when LardAss kept on insisting she was worried about one of her sons instead. That was the second thing that gave it away that she was piiiisssseeed, that this old witch Elsa was telling her the TRUTH and exposing LardAss for the fraud she is. And LardAss didn’t like it. ‘Perfect’ and ‘cute’ MY ASS!!

LardAss should of just being grateful that Mama Elsa was trying to be cool and talk to her in private later. But NOOOO!!! Her emotional immaturity came out jumping all over the room, like a runaway pig at the county fair. When she kept attacking a scary ass looking but wise elderly Bruja, that was trying to spare her the embarrassment of telling her the poverty plagued, embarrasing future that awaits her, for being a bitch and an asshole that thinks she is above everyone and everything. Besides she is the one that was pestering Elsa and when Momma Elsa didn’t tell her something ‘perfect’ or ‘cute’ about her, LardAss just got all pissed off and flew off the handle and attacked Momma Elsa.

 If LardAss really didn’t believe what Mamma Elsa told her, then her ass would of just laughed it off and not talked about it anymore. But NOOOOO!!!! Her ass was sooo worried and uncomfortable because she knew damn well, that La Bruja was telling her the TRUTH!!! The damn fugly truth and this made her uncomfortable and she knew it. LardAss was slipping down a shit rope, when she kept denying Mamma Elsa’s predictions. And the harder she tried to climb up that shit rope by bitching and moaning that she didn’t believe in what Momma Elsa told her , the more she slipped down that shit rope into a shit river and now she’s cursed. Way to go LardAss!

Yesterday it was reported all over the Internet that the Real Housewives of DC  got the boot to the ass. But today Real House Skank Of DC Lynda Erkiletian, is stating that those rumors are a bunch of bullshit and that the DC House Ho’s are in negotiations with Bravo and not canceled yet.

Here is the origninal article:

As we reported on Thursday (March 24), news that Bravo would not be renewing “The Real Housewives of DC” for a second season spread on the Internet. And even though the network clearly stated that it had not made a decision regarding the show’s Season 2, the reports continued. Now, one of the cast members wants to set the record straight.

 ”There’s no official announcement,” cast member Lynda Erkiletian tells Zap2it exclusively. “There’s no way. [Cast member Cat Ommanney] is going on ‘Watch What Happens Live’ on the 28th. One might wonder why [Andy Cohen is] having a DC housewife as a guest [if the show is canceled].”

“There’s negotiations taking place,” she adds. “And no decision has taken place. Whoever started the rumor was basically doing it for attention.” We spoke to Lynda further on the cancelation rumors, the talk of low ratings and the criticism that the cast just wasn’t exciting enough in Season 1.

 Who and for what reason would someone want to start the rumor that the show was canceled?

I think we certainly have people out there who like attention, thrive on it, make stuff up, and are habitual at it. So, my first thought was that a team who had something to gain, which is a firestorm, leaked it. I’m perfectly happy living my real life in the real world while negotiations are taking place.

 The article’s source says the show should be shooting by now. Is that true?

That’s not true. Basically, we’re four months on, four months of promoting and finalizing interviews, and that sort of thing, and normally four months off. And when you say we’re supposed to be filming right now, we’re obviously filming when we’re supposed to be filming. And if we’re not filming right now, that means we’re not supposed to be. It’s just craziness.

 How do you feel about the reports that your show failed in the ratings?

The thing that I really hated about what was going on yesterday was that people kept talking about the ratings. Our ratings were double, triple what Bravo had anticipated. Our ratings, basically as I heard it from Bravo and [the show's production company] Half Yard, we were only second to New Jersey as a freshman show. Our first episode had 1,700,000 or 1,600,000 viewers. Beverly Hills didn’t have that on their first episode. 

 So, the idea that people were saying we were terrible in the ratings? We weren’t. We exceeded everyone’s expectations. We knew that the [White House] incident may affect our viewership and some people wouldn’t want to watch. So, we came from a disadvantage and we managed to run over a million viewers for every single episode. I was very proud of our ratings considering the circumstances, but most importantly because we were a new show.

 Some viewers felt your season wasn’t entertaining enough. Why do you think they feel that way?

I think the reason that happened was we only had nine episodes and I believe that what occurred was that much that we had was posted on video, because Bravo had no choice but to showcase what led up to the White House incident. They had no choice, but to allow that to unfold. So, by tweaking two plus episodes, they cut a lot of material that would have shown people to be much more interesting than they were. It’s not that they’re not interesting, it’s that you can’t show a snippet of a story and not follow it to the end. In production, you have to follow it to the end.There were tons of material that Half Yard and Bravo just weren’t able to use primarily because everyone wanted an answer to the White House incident and Bravo had to give it to them. 

 If you were to go on to a second season, what can the viewers expect?

I think that there are some dynamic, incredible women in Washington and you merge women and Washington and you’ve got a great second season. And I hope the fans and the naysayers will give Washington the opportunity to really show itself for what it has. 

 Are you glad to hear that there’s still a chance DC will return?

Sooo is this mean that once the Famewhores of DC realized that if no Salahis no show, since they are all a bunch of boring skanks they  got worried that Bravo was gonna pull the plug on their famewhoring adventures and are now rethinking their decision  to refuse to film with the scandalous Salahi- Salamis. Sooo, now they are begging Bravo to bring back the show perhaps with the Salamis ? I guess we will have to watch what happens.