Former Housewives Alex McCord and her husband Simon Van Kempen, have a talent to creep people out, like that one time when she modeled lingerie for Simon and everyone at home watching was about to hurl (I know I was.) Well, it seems that even thought they are no longer on RHONY they are still able to creep and gross out people with more bizarre weirdo shit.

Apparently when Alex gave birth to son Francois she had Simon wrapping his legs around her back and while she was pushing that baby out Simon was jizzing on her back because watching Alex give birth turned him on. And I guess Alex was having some weird orgasm too after she gave birth.

This is what Alex spilled out about giving birth:

Once he was finally out of my body, I experienced a tsunami of endorphins that was almost orgasmic, and I understand completely the stories other women have written about ecstatic birth. Simon was sitting behind me at the point of birth, and later when we untangled ourselves he discovered he’d actually ejaculated though hadn’t felt any of the normal lead-up to that. It may seem distasteful to some, and definitely neither of us was thinking of sex at the time, but with the rush of emotion and my lower nerve endings going crazy, it’s not too far a stretch to say that it’s a profound experience.

WHAT THE FUCK?! I feel sorry for poor little Frankie having to deal with his parents weird birth jizzing fetish!

Oh yeah! And their cat died. R.I.P. Poor kitty!

According to a new report Alex Mccord and Simon Van Kempen are not accepting the fact that Bravo fired their ass and are begging and making pleas to Bravo to please keep them on that they’ve gone as far as heading to the Bravo headquarters to beg for Bravo to give them their job back. How pathetic! But I guess they really needed the paycheck.

From Eonline:

As of last night, Alex and unofficial Housewife No. 6, Simon, were planning to head to Bravo HQ in New York today to meet with reality honcho Andy Cohen and producers to make a last-ditch bid to remain on the show in some capacity.

“Basically, they’ve been begging to stay on. Simon questions how he can ‘harness the swell of support’ behind them,” says a source to Bravo. “They’re not accepting that it’s done. They are meeting with Bravo this afternoon and Bravo doesn’t want them on the show, but Andy would like them to pop up occasionally, whether on Housewives or other programs on the network is what they’re saying.”

After all the rumors went back and forth about which house skanks of New York got the boot to the ass we finally got the answer. Alex Mccord took to her Twitter and admitted Bravo fired her as well as Cindy The Bore Barshop. I bet Bravo fired Alex because maybe they got tired of Simon begging them to make him a housewife with his own introduction clip before the show, who knows. Cindy was booring that bitch didn’t do anything for anybody, not only did she have fugly ass huge horse teeth, but she was fucking RUUUUDE and all she ever did was sit there with her huge mouth wide open and call attention to her teeth, while she looked shocked and flies flew in and out of her mouth and she swatted at them with her tail. Plus damn she was hard to look at!

Kelly Bensimon and Jill Zarin were also let-go by the network. I guess Bravo decided to cut their loses because it was way cheaper to cut Jill lose than to deal with her constant Jill the Diva hurricane behavior  for the sake of ratings. I bet the producers the cameramen the peons and all the people that had to put up with that bitch while filming this show are probably having a celebration fiesta with a pinata that looks like Jill.

The best decision they made was to let go of that beast Kelly Bensimoron. They should of fired that bitche’s mentally unstable ass since Scary Island, when that bitch had a level 10 mental meltdown because she more than likely was coming down from meth and pregnant Bethenny was dealing with that beast and because of her, Bethenny had to sleep with a security guard outside her door until Bravo send the crazy bitch in a padded wagon back home!  Their decision to cut her had to do with Kelly being more of a liability than an asset.

Here are Alex’s tweets:

After Jilliousy chewed Ramonzon’s head off for bringing up the Countless’  “weekend parenting” we are back for more bitch slapping and all that good shit. LuAnn is fuming because she says that Ramonzon talks to every Tom, Dick, Harry and belligerent homeless wino in New York city about LuMan’s parenting skills (or lack there off). Ramona says she didn’t say shit about that bitch and LuMan hisses at Gonzo for not sticking up for the Countless when Ramonzon was running her fat mouth. Gonzo tries to say she stuck up for LuMan, but wasn’t caught on film.

Andy asks Ramona why she is trying to blame Avery for turning down LuMan’s music video and why she is trying to say Avery is embarrassed of Ramona being on a tranni music video when the bitch served alcohol at Avery’s sweet sixteen and tried to highjack her party by turning it into Ramona’s drunken Cincuentanera bash 2010. Yep, that shit exist that’s what one of my readers told me. Go ahed and google it.

LuMan brings up the embarrassing massage Ramona gave her “husband’s hairy chest” on TV and questions how can Avery NOT be embarrassed by that, but is embarrassed of her mother appearing in LuMan’s desperation mid-life crises video. Jill decides to demonstrate the dramatics by grabbing Kelly’s Behemoth’s gorilla size feet and proceeds to massage them while making X-rated moaning sounds. I don’t understand why Ramonzon doesn’t just admit she didn’t want to do the video with the Countless because she can’t stand that beast. Andy asks Ramonzon if Avery was embarrassed by the massage she gave Mario on TV and Ramonzon says she was a “little” embarrassed. Yeah just like we are supposed to believe it was all Avery that forbid Ramona from appearing in the video, we are also expected to believe that she was just a “little” embarrassed by the massage. LuMan brings up a good point and asks Ramonzon how it is that she refused to do the music video because it was slutty, yet she invites sixteen year old Avery to join the burlesque underwear shopping and invites her to the dirty bird Sonja show?  After stuttering and pulling out a lame ass answer out of her ass, Ramona says it’s because it was a “private party”. So? That’s like saying because she invited her daughter to an orgy since it was a “private orgy” it’s ok. Right? EEEWWWWUUUOOKAYY THEN?!!

Miss Andy asks LuMan why she went into super confrontational asshole mode this season and why is she up Jill’s ass and defending Jill. Alex yells it’s because LuMan has  enough “dirt” on LuMan to fill a “landfill”. Jill calls Alex a bitch, but spells it out because small children may be watching?  What? OK!? What about all the shit these bitches were saying earlier?

Then, we see a diarrhea trail of clips with Jilliousy saying she is a “changed woman” and staying out of drama followed by scenes with Jill running her fat mouth about everybody’s business, and talking about EVERYBODY! From who is how old and where Cindy’s babies’ daddy is, to calling Alex a ‘fucking bitch’ for socializing above her level and pretty much just trying to insert herself into the drama like a fucking tapeworm crawling up a fat persons ass. Jill then gives a lame ass explanation about how she is blatantly “honest” and doesn’t give a crap what anybody thinks because she is not trying to do it to be mean she is doing it because she is repeating whatever Ramona has been saying all these years I AM WHAT I AM LIKE IT OR NOT I’M POPEYE THE SAILOR MAN TOOT TOOT!! Ramona can’t believe this bitch has now crossed over to using Ramoner’s excuses for acting like a complete asshole to people’s faces for stupid reasons. Ramona was sitting there mumbling, bitch find your own excuses! I think the only thing that changed with Jilliousy this season is that she has learned to be a bigger irritating asshole who found other ways to use more useless excuses to be a complete bitch, so yeah she’s changed, for the worst! Jill tries to say that the grudge she has with Ramona is deeper and longer than the Bethenny grudge and she doesn’t think she can forgive Ramona. WTFUCK? Bitch you don’t make sense! Ramonzon is right when someone is doing better and has more money than Jill she gets “Jilliousy” and goes into full-fledged hurricane level bitch mode.

Gonzo confronts Jilliousy about the shit she talked about Gonzo when she did her disturbing dirty bird burlesque performance. And Jill tries to deny it and says that Gonzo was attacking all of them by calling them “bitches”. Gonzo then admits it by calling them “bitches” again. HA HA HA!!!  Jill says that she was just kidding and being cute when she made fun of Gonzo’s horrific performance! That’s just like saying she went up to Sonja’s plate of toaster oven weiner-dinner and farted on it, but since she was being funny it’s all good and forgiven.

Then Jill starts bitching at Alex for wearing white to the wedding and what a bitch she is for socializing at a party that’s below her social climbing lying ass, plus all the shit she talks about the Hamptons. Alex says she only used to go to the Hampton’s to get acting jobs. Kelly busts up laughing and the brunettes asks Alex what movies she was on? After stuttering and making some shit up, duh I was the duuuh, tree in that one movie eerrr… She gets laughed at some more. Andy asks Jill if she ever admits when she is wrong and surprisingly Jill apologizes to Alex for calling her a bitch, just to clean the slate so she can insult her minutes later with brand new crispy insults.

Alex screams at the brunettes and points at all of them yelling “IF I WAS TRYING TO SOCIALICE ABOVE MY LEVEL I WOULD STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ALL OF YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE ALL A LIABILITY!” Bigfoot Kelly again, bust up laughing this time she asks Alex “ARE YOU SMOKING CRACK?” Yeah, she is bitch and you both share the same dealer remember?

Next, more Ramonzon and her addiction to Pinot Del Borracho we get to see clips of “junkie” Ramona demanding Pinot and almost going into “heroin addict” level seizures if no Pinot available. FUCKING WINO!

Ramonzon then accuses Jill of being an alcoholic that had to attend AA meetings and Jill loses her shit denying it and saying she went to AA to support a friend. Who Jill Zarin? Was that the friends name?

Gonzo and Alex stick up for Ramonzon and say she is not an alcoholic since the bitch only drinks one case of vino not three like Jill accuses her of; making Ramona only a drunkaholic which is better! SEE!

Jilliousy jumps on Ramonzon for the comment she made about Jilliousy’s step daughter being “deformed” and Ramonzon tries to defend it saying that means “blemish”. Then, Andy pressures her crazy ass to apologize to Jill’s daughter and surprisingly she does and she spews out a nice apology, but right after that pause to apologize to the innocent the war continues.

Ramona keeps getting stomped on for being a “functioning alcoholic” like Kelly calls her and Ramona finally admits to being a fucking drunk and says she is very happy with her addiction because she has a lot of energy and is a successful business owner eighteen years married and blah, blah, blah. I think all these bitches  need to be thrown together in a paper bag and go to Asshole-holic Anonymous.

Alex bitches at the Countless for calling her ass “Herman Munster shoes” and for correcting  everyone about having “Class” like a matronly prison guard and the other bitches are all six year old inmates. LuAss doesn’t give a shit and just sits there laughing at Alex like she is a dumb ass.

Kelly takes credit for the  ”Herman Munster shoes” and berates Alex for making poor fashion choices.

REALLY?! REALLY BITCH?? SO YOU’RE THE FASHION POLICE NOW??  I guess she made herself in charge of telling the other bitch how to dress when the only place her and Alex (also!) should be modeling those getups Kelly wears with no pants and the S&M crack-whore dress Alex had on at the party is at the runway (isles) of People Of Walmart.

Look at these bitches they both forgot to wear pants that day!

Here’s Kelly wearing her new running out in traffic outfit when she goes out to score some alley meth.

We also found out that Alex gave her nasty ass dress to LuAss and she donated it to some shelter cause or another and now a homeless bum is wearing it while searching for spare cans in the trash.

LuMan admits  and slips out that when her ass marries Peppi LaPoopie she will be giving up the Countess title. Peppi LaPoopie is probably  swimming  back all the way to France in fear by now. LuMan also says she is butt hurt the blonde bitches refused to be on her music video, but she should be happy because at least Kelly Behemoth sharted throughout the video leaving her Bigfoot asshole aroma to decorate it.

Next they all talk shit about Simon and what an asshole he is for mean tweeting. The bitches asks Alex if she is aware of Simon’s tweets and she says she sees like only 90% of his tweets, but not the other 10% where he tweets Miss Andy at midnight and tells him what a purty mouth he ass and how he would like to strech it! EEEWWW!!! OLD DRAG QUEENS!

And now let’s talk about the Morocco trip and why Ramonzon, LuMan and the rest of these Housewives are permanently 86th from Morocco and are not allowed to travel there anymore. EVER! That camel that tried to kill LuMan already told the other camels to watch out for these hags and if they come back they’re getting camel stomped and not just LuMan this time. That camel knew exactly what it was doing! LuMan gets all defensive about playing matronly prison guard and making everyone miserable with her dictator actions at the Morocco vacation. See that’s why the camel wanted to throw her off it’s back and pee on her and I wish it would of.

Ramonzon gets asked why she got these bitches 86th from Morocco with her rude comments and she proceeds to double insult that country by saying some crazy statistics about how it is a crappy third world dusty bowl. LuMan laughs her ass off about that insult since she is not over there right now where they would chop her penis off for laughing at shit like that.

Miss Andy asks Gonzo if she is racist for not trusting people with her luggage in another country and she gives him some lame answer, Miss Andy brings up how Gonzo doesn’t seem well-traveled because she acts ignorant like she hasn’t gotten out of the woods much. Sonja tries to defend that by saying that even when she visited the “Royal Palace” she was paranoid they were going to steal her luggage. This bitch doesn’t quit does she?!

Dumb ass Alex gets asked why she is such a nerd and got her ass beat in Morocco for no reason other than trying to fight Ramonzon’s battles to desperately kiss her ass while Ramona ran around with her real best friend Gonzo laughing her ass off  and getting blitz. Alex sits there like a doofus acting like she jumped in that mosh pit of snakes for her own pleasure. Sure bitch, sure whatever you say. Alex then calls LuMan a “thug in a cocktail dress” and offers her a T-shirt. LuAss laughs at her for selling T-shirts at the swap-meet like a loser, but Alex doesn’t care because she is going to make 120 million from those T-shirts. Jilliousy goes into a yelling tirade at Alex and yells at her repeatedly “I don’t care about you!”.

They also show the clip where Kelly was fucking  with Alex’s head when she told her to close her eyes. HA HA HA HA!!! I can’t believe she let that bitch stick her dick in her ear and mindfuck her sideways like that!  HA HA HA HA!!!! See Alex you can’t go up against beast like these on your own, you needed Bethenny there if Beth was theres that shit would of never happened because she made Kelly feel intimidated and stupid and it would of being Beth and Alex fucking with Kelly. And because Kelly only knows like two large words and she has to repeat them constantly to establish her credibility that she is an intelligent human and not a shaved ape like we all thought, she starts calling Alex “inauthentic” again, and again plus a “bad actress” because I guess in her pea brain she thinks that they are all on a scripted TV show. Then they all lose their shit into a full-blowned bitching tirade again like a bunch of “chicken heads” like Cindy calls them.

Miss Andy asks Ramona about Mario’s infidelities and reads an email that questions the fortune teller and Mario’s suspicious OH SHIT! reactions when Ramoner told him the whole fortune-teller prediction . Ramona sits there denying that shit and says she doesn’t believe what the fortune-teller told her, she says that Mario is a good guy and he is faithful to her even the time he porked that hoochie over the  pool table. Alex jumps in and says Simon also joined taking turns in the pool table gang-bang  and he totally wasn’t at the gay bar (later that night) because he is a “straight man”. HA HA HA HA!!!

Then Andy reads another viewer email about Alex’s droopy ass floppy “brawles” boobs and ask if she ever wears a “brawer”.  Alex points out that she is wearing one now.

Andy asks Cindy if her ass even knows her children’s name and she screams I HAVE A NANNY THAT SLEEPS WITH ME! Ok I didn’t see that one coming!

Andy then asks LuAnn if the Count knows her new boyfriend  Jacques Azoulay is Jewish? Does he know Jill is Jewish? Because LuAnn gets in bed with that bitch too. Cindy was confused about the comment, bitch didn’t watch last season.

We also find out that LuMan and her man go to the same barber shop to get their head done.

Andy saves the best question of the night for last  “How do you feel that Bethenny is worth 10 times more than all of you combined?”  LuMan tries to say some stupid bullshit about how Bethenny is still catching up to their money. Bitch she left your old ass in the dust, by like 40 million dollars looong ago! Jilliousy spews out all pissed off a obvious jealous comment that she doesn’t count Bethenny’s money. Finally none of them can take the jealousy anymore and all the bitches explode into a massive splatter of excrement. Poor Miss Andy will never be the same!

Ya habibi Bitches!

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Part one of this bitch slap fest began with Andy asking Ramona about her false alarm pregnancy and questions that bitche’s delusions on being capable of getting preggers with old ass dusty eggs. The brunettes roll their eyes when Ramona adamantly defends her so-called ‘young uterus’ and states AGAIN that she could of been pregnant, then she announces she is on her period. Maybe her last one, but it’s till her period.

After a diarrhea trail of fight clips, about how these hags love to pick fights at the ‘wrong place and wrong time,” we are dragged down memory lane to rehash the bitch slap fest where Sonja, Alex and Simon got into that mosh pit of a fight over the gay rights thingy that Simon was supposed to speak at, and Gonzo totally crapped on the podium making it impossible for Simon to give his speech without slipping on Sonja’s runny shit.

So to stir the shit pot and get the blondes at each other’s throat Miss Andy asks Sonja why she didn’t allow Simon to speak at the gay-rights event. Sonja and Alex discuss the events that took place and Sonja blames someone named bleep for the so called speech hijack Alex makes a weird ass comment about this person named  bleep and you can tell Alex is making all kinds of silly excuses and covering for Gonzo (probably the same way she makes excuses for Simon when he is yelling at her in cars) because for some reason now she doesn’t want to piss the Gonzo off and be out of the blonde gang.

Meanwhile the brunettes are talking shit among each other and somehow the insanity demons that control cooco for coco puffs Kelly’s mouth muttered the truth when she spewes out that ( I know scary)  Alex is sitting there allowing Sonja to insult her husband on national TV and just brushes it off like it’s no big deal. Magically and without splanation (misspelled on purpose!) Gonzo and Alex are suddenly besties and none of this shit matters because it was all a BIG misunderstanding and aliens took the real Sonja for a couple of weeks then brought her back and it was also bleeps fault! So not Sonja’s fault! Miss Andy keeps trying to poke the beast in the eyeball and brings up the fight where Gonzo threw that bitch out of her house for dressing like an S&M whore.  Again, all we get is Alex making up more lame excuses for Gonzo and saying that they “are good now” and the brunettes roll up their eyes at this display of bullshit. Kelly tries to explain the fight and what took place, but she can’t make sense or put sentences together so she just makes herself look like the incoherent mentally ill nut job she is, like always.

Alex tries to say that if it wasn’t for the useless fight they had,  marriage equality would of never been passed in the state of New York! Yeah, I guess thanks to the house flies of New York gay man can legally marry all credit goes to these screaming menopausal twats. REALLY? REALLY BITCH YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT? I guess we are all stupid here and are expected to believe that spoonful of horse shit just like the time she said she came from oil money. RIIIGHT!! OOOKKAAYY THEN!! Alex tries to say that bleep agrees with this and I suppose that’s why he doesn’t want Bravo to say his name on TV or admit he knows these skanks.

Because Jill is a grade A asshole  and I guess in charge of asking the questions now because she can take over Andy like that; she uses her king size ladle to stir that shit cauldron (still trying to get Alex and Sonja to scrap on each other) and asks Gonzo how she felt when Simon got up on her face. Jill is salivating at the mouth hoping those two ho’s will be swinging a bat at each other, but no such luck.

Kelly is asked why she calls Alex “inauthentic” and “weird” and she points out that Alex gets red blotches on her skin when she tries to argue with people. And Kelly says it’s because “I’m nice and I care” and “Cosmo voted me the ‘5 Most Nice Celebrity’”! Alex was sitting there thinking WFUCK? HUH?! What does this have to do with anything? Alex starts turning all blotchy again and Kelly starts freaking out like the baboon she is and pointing it out and shit; and Alex still can’t get her point across. Next.

Time to ask Gonzo why the fuck she is so delusional and lives in her wealthy past pretending she still rich when she is actually a broke ass and looking like a fool after getting sued for that John Travolta movie that never got made. Sonja then loses her shit and cries because her marriage felt apart and it wasn’t the financial stuff that hurts it’s the marriage and the fact that it fell apart. Now, that bitch deserves an academy award. I would be crying the same way too if I lost my big ass paycheck like that. Good thing she is saying all this bullshit about how she loved her husband and he was kind blah, blah, blah. See this way in case other future potential sugar daddies are watching this she may be able to fool them and think she is actually marrying them because of love and not gold digging their ass. That’s good.

Gonzo is asked why all the lavish parties at fancy restaurants  if she is so broke, but Gonzo defends that by saying she gives the restaurant’s publicity because she is a “restaurant consultant”. I didn’t know waitresses are called “restaurant consultants” now. I’m sure those restaurants love being associated with the loud mouth screaming bitch fest followed by a camera crew filming this circus these bitches bring to their restaurants. NICE!

Sonja confronts Kelly on calling her house dirty and disorganized, but Kelly doesn’t back-down and insist Gonzo lives in a pigsty.  Just to deny it minutes later confusing Miss Andy. Even LuMan tries to back Gonzo up by calling Kelly’s original comment inappropriate.

Andy calls Kelly out about her house and asks her who paid for it and Kelly admits it was her sugar papa (the one that dumped her for being crazy) and the bitch says she is not calling Sonja out on who paid for her house, but more on her house being dirty. Kelly is lucky her sugar papa paid for that house or else this bitch would be homeless and having to give hobos hand jobs for a hit of their crack pipe.

Cindy who’s been sitting there saying nothing the whole time with her horse teeth sticking out of her wide open mouth being dead weight like usual suddenly jumps in and agrees with Kelly that Gonzo is delusional and puts on “airs”. Cindy tells Gonzo that she shouldn’t act like her shit don’t stink and look down on people and then expect people to feel sorry for her when her face hits the pavement.

Next Miss Andy brings up Ramonzon’s Pinot Grigio addiction and Jill makes a snide remark about the whole fiasco with Ramona wearing white to that one wedding. Alex tries to jump in, just to be told by Jillious to shut the fuck up  and stay out of it ending with Jill calling her a “fucking bitch”. Jill has changed. Into a bigger bitch.  HA HA HA!!!

Bethenny gets brought up and Jilliousy tries to say that the other ho’s were jealous of her relationship with Beth and insinuates that Ramona wasn’t helping. Andy is confused again because he has FOOTAGE of Ramonzon trying to arrange a meeting between the Skynny Girl and Jilliousy to fix things up, but asshole Jilliousy didn’t want to work it out, her plan to fuck with Beth’s emotions for a minute backfired and Beth got tired of the mindfuck games Jilliousy was playing so Beth said FUCK YOU! And walked and now Jilliousy is just pissed because her manipulation little games didn’t work on Beth. That’s why she is sad the friendship wasn’t salvaged. Not because she loved Bethenny. But whatevs she’s got 120 million a hot man and a baby. Happiness is the best revenge. Jilliousy tries to say she is scared of Bethenny and hopes Bethenny is scared of her too! Not so much bitch!

Ramona is confronted on her big mouth with no filter and she tries to say that she doesn’t say shit to be mean she is honest or whatever. So she just does it to help people, right?

The day that Miss Andy lost his shit!

The brunettes keep shutting up and beating the shit out of Alex calling her a fucking idiot and what not. And Jill accuses Mario of being a cheater while Ramona says that Jill’s husband is not as good as Mario.  And when the men get brought up bitches be going crazy so Ramona and Jilliousy channel their inner 5th grader and start calling each other loser, LOSER! LOOOSER!!! LOOOSER!! It all went to apeshit town and Andy kept trying to ask questions, but these “BEAST” wouldn’t “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!” And Miss Andy lost his shit and yelled at them to “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!”  “BEAST ALL OF YOU!”. HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! That was a beautiful moment! I knew someday this would happen. I wonder if next time he is going to roll up those cards he holds, like a newspaper, and smack them in the head like a dog that  peed on the couch. That was a whole lot of crazy.

Next we see a montage of the blondes and Gonzo’s Jello ass. Andy asks Sonja why she is a nasty ho’ who keeps loosing her panties and insisting on showing her dry “vagonja” Why does he even asks her this? She already admitted to being embarrassed for being broke than for being portrayed as a crazy horny  bitch that likes to put her ass on display.  So being an exhibitionist ho’ is perfectly fine and not embarrassing, but being a broke ass is.

Kelly accuses Sonja’s “vagonja” of being “rude” to Kelly while at the vagina toaster oven photo shoot. Sonja’s “vagonja” queefs out an insult at Kelly and admits that she was just being “honest” and called Kelly a dick. That’s why Kelly is permanently traumatized and scarred beyond repair by Sonja’s “vagonja”.

Next Bravo tries to convince us Kelly isn’t crazy and they are hopping we forgot her “breakthrough” at Scary Island by showing us a trail of Kelly scenes where they try to edit the bitch as  sane and the “voice of reason,” but it fails. Miserably.

Kelly gets called out by Alex on the whole henna tattoo incident and talking shit about Gonzo’s pig sty. Kelly says she doesn’t know what this bitch is talking about and keeps treating Alex like an idiot while Alex keeps breaking into boiled lobster hives. This can’t be healthy for this bitch if she comes back next season for more abuse, then she is an idiot because these bitches keep “railroading” over her.

Andy brings up Kelly’s past relationship where she claimed she was beat up by the boyfriend and Kelly says she doesn’t want to talk about it and that her ex-husband “saved” her. But the whole thing with her beating that one guy up gets swept under the rug.

Kelly also says she is not jealous of Bethenny who can now crush her with her 120 million dollar wallet. I wonder if Kelly convinced herself yet that she is NOT jealous of Beth.

Now it’s time to fuck with Horse Teeth and we see a montage of her teeth. And the shit starts between Ramona and Cindy over the whole cigar and dead mans suit argument and Ramona asks Andy is he would wear a dead man’s suit and Andy is all EEWWW!! NO! Alex keeps trying to stick her spoon in just to get told again to shut the fuck up and stay out of it this time by Cindy and Alex yells bitch “YOU NEED TO GET LAID!”. HA HA HA HA!!! TRUE! She acts a little tense doesn’t she? Was the last time her “vagonja” got some action when they got those babies out of there? So is this mean since Cindy owns those pubey waxing spas (and she must get waxed all the time) her “vagonja” is all waxed up and nowhere to go? HA HA HA!!!

And Cindy sits these with her horse teeth sticking out of her mouth AGAIN while flies are going in and out and says NOTHING because she knows Alex is right.

Cindy then confronts Gonzo on the “pecking order” comment, but Jill pulls her leash back because for some reason she doesn’t want Cindy going after Gonzo. WEIRD!

Then the “conference call” in the kitchen that ruined the breakfast gets brought up and Cindy insist she wasn’t being rude and Gonzo knew about the call. Kelly takes Cindy’s side and the Countless says Horse Teeth was rude to take that call and she is appalled. Cindy even barks at LuAss when she tries to tell her to chill and she looks like she is about to chew each of these bitches heads off and shit down their necks. Doesn’t LuAss know that you don’t try to calm a beast down when it’s all riled up or it will bite you?

Then Ramona and LuAss get into it about Ramona calling LuAnn a bad mother and what-not, then she keeps on bringing up how many times LuAnn’s daughter Victoria has moved schools and Jill then goes apeshit and yells at Ramona to stop fucking with people’s kids or she will tear her a new asshole. To be continued.

It’s all fun and games until shit gets real. And it looks like it’s getting real ridiculous right now with the Real House Bitches of New York who apparently are at each others throat for REAL now.

These ho’s may have to be replaced according to insiders who are saying there is too much drama going on, “Things have gotten so bad that producers are worried that this cast can no longer film together,”.  And the drama has really turned ugly now because these bitches won’t let anything go,“All the ladies have long memories and will not let the smallest thing go. The level of hatred at the moment is so high that it’s toxic and all consuming. It doesn’t make for good TV drama. Now it’s just petty and sad.”

Jill Zarin is especially pissed off and feels that she is getting ganged up on by the IHJZ blog. According to the insider the other housewives have met with the owner of the site and support the blog. This especially infuriates Jill, “This is nothing short of cyber-bullying, when your address is put out online and readers are encouraged to send condolence cards,” according to a friend of Jill, “This sort of behavior should be rejected by all the cast members, no matter how hot disagreements get on the show. It has stopped being a TV fight and is now a real life battle that is unacceptable.”

Ramona Singer openly admits she supports the site, “Its a goof, spoof, you can’t take it seriously,” She also says she don’t let the shit posted online get to her . “If I took all the negative things that were written about me — you need to have a sense a humor!” she says she likes the site,  “I think [the hate site] is right-on and perceptive,”

Ramona says she admits she supports the site and is NOT distancing herself from it despite it’s name. Bethenny Frankel also admits she supports the IHJZ site and follows it on Twitter. The source adds, “Of the eleven people Bethenny follows on twitter, yes just eleven, the founder of the site is one,” and “Bethenny doesn’t support or follow anyone from Bravo, not even Andy Cohen, who cast her and made her rich and famous, yet she does follow a person who spills hate.”

Is it possible that there is too much drama going on and it’s becoming disturbing but how?

Also according to HollywoodLife.com Cindy Barshop and Alex Mccord will not be returning next season. If the rumor it’s true then that means that Bravo already started cleaning house and taking out the “gaw-bage”. In the same post it states that the Real Housewives Of Miami Lice has been renewed for a second season and Miss Andy is looking for new cities to cast despite statements he made earlier that he would not be looking for new House-ho’s to pimp out.

Sources

Huffingtonpost and HollywoodLife

Thanks to all my readers for the heads up on this gossip!

On the last wreckage of RHONY, ‘Bawby’ confronted Simon about the I Hate Jill Zarin blog and accused him of somehow being involved with the blog to promote the I Hate Jill Zarin hate campaign. Simon denies his involvement with this blog and says that the only contact him and Alex  have ever had with the person who owns the blog was back in June 2010 at a meet and greet in Chicago.

Here is what Simon posted on his Bravo blog in response to this:

“I don’t know how that translates into Simon or me being investors, content writers, posters, or even members of the blog. We don’t own it, we don’t have money in it. We don’t write for it. There is a link on the blog to a recap of the Chicago fan event held for us with pictures, and as the blog covers the whole Housewives franchise, we along with all other cast membersare regularly discussed on it. That doesn’t mean we are doing the discussing.”

Ramona also had something to say about the confrontation and the blog:

“Bobby had a heated discussion with Simon about a blog at the party.
Simon has no involvement with it whatsoever. I find the author of that blog to be very amusing and dead on in her critiques. Why is Jill always pointing fingers?”

Jill who cries that she is the constant victim of bullying is now saying that Simon has been blasting out hatefull tweets about her, but the only bitchy tweets I see are the ones from Jill being an asshole.

Here are some real good tweets that the blog Realitytea dug out:

• Mixed message? Your a hypocrite!” tweeted Jill about Ramona on June 23rd.
• “Just watched next weeks episode. It’s like soft porn. Gross!!! Then Luann takes down a housewife. Want to guess who? Such great episode!” tweetedJill on June 11th.
• “We r dying laughing watching Ramona fake cry.” tweetedJill June 9th.
• “She is just using me to try to get more twitter followers. Desperate move don’t u think? She did that with b too. Sad.” tweetedJill on June 5th.
• “I agree its gross.RT @jlrtweets101665 “@Jillzarin I think RHONY has become a 1 hour advertisement for Ramona’s beverage and it is becoming very very annoying.”” tweetedJill on June 5th.
• “Actually a producer!RT @KNeddie “@Jillzarin didn’t ramona hit a cameraman during filming?” tweetedJill June 2nd.
• “I think so too!RT @AbbieLLear “@Jillzarin what a selfish heartless bitch..Ramona is a prime example of bullying! I would be mortified if I were Avery! Jennifer is GORGEOUS.” tweetedJill May 20th.
• “What did I do that hurt Ramona to her face. She publicly attacked me. Big difference, you admit u put your foot in mouth and that’s ok?” tweetedJill May 19th.

Jillious has gotten so ridiculous and out of control, that according to the owner of the IHJZ blog,  she has even blocked people who followed the IHJZ blog on Twitter.  I think that the IHJZ blog is the least of Jill’s worries, everyone hates that bitch already anyways, the blog didn’t make people hate her. Jill’s actions and shitty ways make people hate her.

Plus everyone knows how she pays ‘cyber bullies’ to go on peoples blogs and leave nasty ass messages (she does that shit  here too all the time) and the bitch thinks that we’re all stupid and don’t know it’s her. Meanwhile she makes herself look stupid and become more hated by having assholes post nasty shit to bloggers, while we get more traffic and laugh at her ass so it all works out in the end. So thank you Jillious!

Jill Zarin stated last week that Mario Singer physically pushed her. Lots of people don’t believe the drama queen but I think that maybe Mario wanted to push that bitch, and maybe he even got a hard-on fantasizing that he shoved her. Everyone in the cast has fantasized the same thing at one point, I’m sure.

Here is what Jill told People, “Last weekend, he shoved me. I was at a friends house for a dinner party,” Jill said of Mario, who also attended the premiere. “I was on line for the buffet … and Mario started screaming at me, uncontrollably. And then he pushed me – he shoved me with his hand. He was blaming me for his wife coming off badly on the show. He repeated things he thinks I said that he didn’t like.”

Although I do not agree with Jillious Zarin about the whole debacle of Mario shoving her fat ass, I do believe he must of gotten up in that bitche’s face all crazy because she does bring that out in people.  Methinks that Mario being the animated character that he is (and possibly coked out and drunk) must of being flinging his arms around like a monkey with rabies and was possibly getting up in her face and pointing at Jill and since Jill has an imagination that can take wings and fly she imagined  Mario putting his hands on her, and  with a little exaggeration, (like Ramona stated)  her ass came out and said he shoved her. Plus her two paid assistants stuck up for her, to add to the drama and feed Jill’s delusions. But, if Mario would of really shoved her I believe her ass would of being calling the cops and ‘Bawby’. So no I don’t think he shoved her.

Also the rumors have been swirling that the entire cast of the RHONY will be replaced because producers feel these bitches are tired and too pedestrian so they want to bring in bitches with mo’ money that have mo’ drama. But, it seems that the only ones who will be clipped may be boring ass Cindy Barshop (whose only contribution to the show is to sit there with her mouth wide open in shock) and Alex Mccord the two are denying that their ass is getting the boot.

Cindy invited Sonja to shopping and lunch in some dangerous neighborhood in downtown TriBeCa. While those bitches are at some downtown boutique Cindy reveals that her  cheap ass horse dentures fell off the night before, when she was stumbling around the alleys of New York drunk off her ass and woke up behind the bar with some random dude on the filthy cement ground, face down, with a chipped horse denture. The exact details of the previous night are a blur to Cindy so no one knows exactly what happened.

Cindy is carrying around her broken horse dentures in a sandwich baggie and  she also admits she carries Fixodent in her purse because that’s what people over 56 with dentures do. Then, she sits there and starts to cement her teeth together, in front of a mirror, at this boutique where they are shopping. The stinky denture breath scares customers away so the owner comes over to see if everything is okay and forces Sonja to purchase a hoochie getup or get out.

Gonzo ignores the sales lady then goes after Cindy, whining to her plus expecting and demanding lunch. Gonzo is starving and the bitch is seeing flying sandwiches and shit,  fantasizing about the chi-chi restaurant Donkey Teeth is taking her to.

Suddenly Cindy starts to beat around the bush about taking Gonzo to lunch because she is literally holding an emergency in a Ziploc bag in her hand.

When Gonzo starts to ask ‘when are you taking me to lunch?’ And repeats that shit 58 times in a row. Donkey Teeth throws a sparkly, truck stop, motel hooker, dress across the room to distract Gonzo and tries to bolt out the door, but Gonzo is determined to get that free lunch. So, she catches poor Donkey Teeth ass Cindy before she can bail out and continues harassing Cindy about buying her lunch.

Bitch My Teeth Fell Off!!!!

Even though Cindy  invited Sonja to lunch her ass isn’t about to walk around that restaurant with her front teeth missing. So finally she says FUCK IT! And yells at Gonzo: BITCH MY TEETH FELL OFF!!  But, Gonzo won’t give up. That bitch is starving, she’s tired of giving hobos blow jobs to buy top Ramen. So she keeps pestering Cindy for a free lunch.

Cindy barks back at Sonja: Lunch?!! What do you mean lunch? Bitch are you that broke that you need me to buy you lunch.  How ’bout this bitch, you go down to the corner and buy a 5 dollar hot dog?!

Gonzo was all: No I’m broke I don’t even have 5 bucks. Can you at least give me 5 bucks for a hot dog? And another 5 bucks for a diet Pepsi? Plus I’m gonna need 20 bucks to score some NY alley meth.

And Cindy responded: WTF? Are you stupid? What the hell did you think this is a date? It’s not like you put out bitch!

HA HA HA!!! It was funny shit. Specially watching Sonja beg Cindy to take her to lunch.

After that bullshit Sonja said she wants to have a ‘toaster oven, cooking party’ because the NY ho’s haven’t had one yet (I don’t think), and her intention is to lock Kelly and a drunken Ramoner in a room with a heavy door that has a window, so everyone can watch those two bitches rip each other’s hair off. Cindy says to Sonja that she doesn’t think that’s a good idea. Gonzo says that those bitches are either going to do it HER way, or get thrown out of her house. I guess that’s a favorite move of Gonzo.

Then, Cindy takes her Fixodent and her dentures and takes off to the dentist to get her shit fixed and Gonzo is left in downtown TriBeCa where she has to walk home late into the night, through the armpit of the ghetto neighborhood,  just to get home.

Cindy bounces out of there and doesn’t give a shit that she left Gonzo in the middle of that scary hood because Cindy is downtown and ghetto like that. Plus she thought it was funny to leave Gonzo alone in the ghetto there, with no ride. (Because she really took the bus there, she didn’t have a driver that was bullshit) How awkward and sad.

Later on LuAnn has a little get together. Sonja, Cindy and LuAnn are getting hammered already and Cindy blabs out that she is having an un-birthday party in ‘Quogue’. Sonja says that she doesn’t go to Quogue because that’s the ghetto and LuAnn gives a little background on ‘Quoque’ being one of the Hampton’s low rent neighborhoods that people of their caliber wouldn’t be caught dead in.

LuAnn starts busting up laughing and clowning on Cindy’s invitation saying ‘I don’t do Quogue!’ Poor Donkey Teeth Cindy. Bitch just sits there not knowing what to do, looking like a dumb ass, all shocked, confused and horrified while LuAnn and Gonzo take center stage with their back and forth loud bantering at Donkey Teeth and her ghetto ass sad party invitation.

Cindy cannot get a word in edgewise while loud ass drunken and possibly coked out Gonzo keeps on shooting the insults at her and enjoying herself. She even tells Cindy to shove the junk mailers from her hair removing spa up her ass, and all kinds of other crazy shit like that. I guess she still pissed because Cindy didn’t take her to Cipriani’s for lunch.

And because the Countless and Gonzo are good at twisting things around to blame the dumb ass they are snubbing at the time, they both make a lame attempt at lying and accuse Cindy of not sending an invitation to her party. Cindy then has the ‘ARE THEY TAKING CRAZY PILLS?’ stunned look in the face, and insist she send the invitation to both those skanks.

When those two bitches realize Cindy did send the invitation and she caught them lying; they just lie more and  each one tries to come up with their lame excuses and either blame their incompetent assistants or the Internet for failing to get the invitation. Donkey Teeth just sits there staring at them with her ‘I’m shocked and horrified’ facial expression.

Then just to be a bitch and make sure Cindy knows she is being snubbed Sonja starts randomly  babbling out some yelling spewage about getting invited to shitty parties: “Wrong place, wrong time, wrong food, wrong drinks,”. And Donkey Teeth looks like she is going to start pulling her hair out and cry.

Then all of a sudden the door blows open and Ramoner is standing there in her full hurricanal glory, she stomps in screaming “I need a Pinot Grigio immediately. White wine!, right away.”  This season they are not only highlighting Silex’s alcoholism, but also Ramoner’s.

Alex comes in trailing behind Ramona like her trained monkey wearing a caveman vest. Cindy sits there with her horrified worried facial expressions some more, this time she looks like she really shit her Depends.

Ramoners gets nice and drunk and proceeds to question the Countless on her parenting skills. “So I heard yer children arre rruunning arrround wild in the streets of the Hamptons at night. While yerr in New Yawk screwing Poopie La P.U.” The Countless admits she is out in NY only a couple of nights a week (which can turn into 5 nights a week), and she leaves her children with random homeless people to watch them in the Hamptons.

Ramona slurs more drunken insults: ‘Yerr a slut and a weekend mom!. LuAnn tries to defend herself with the lame comeback that she’s in the city working on making music. When we all know the only music the bitch is making is with Poopie La P.U.

While all this fuckery is going on, Cindy tells Kelly Sonja’s plans to force Kelly and Ramona to kiss and make up via death cage lock-down.

Bigfoot ass Kelly continues to try to convince everyone that she is afraid of Ramoner, specially when that bitch is nice and drunk. Yet, everywhere she goes to hang out and party with the other bitches, is where Ramona is hanging out and partying. So once again, Kelly doesn’t make sense.

So of course the next day Bigfoot invites all the bitches Ramona included, for  a charity dog walk. Once again these ho’s make the event all about their own drama. So, Ramona cries to LuAnn about her cigar dilemma with Cindy’s brother and goes all balls out crying about that drama.

Sonja and Kelly walk their dogs, and Sonja tries to persuade Kelly to attend her toaster cooking party to try to force her to make amends with Ramona. While Kelly and Sonja are having this conversation about why Bigfoot doesn’t want anything to do with drunken ass, Pinot Grigio wino, Ramoners Kelly suddenly drops to the ground and starts doing sand angels. Gonzo says that this crazy ass bitch needs meds.

Kelly invites Sonja to go horseback riding. And Gonzo proceeds to ride the horse all crazy. She jumps on the horse and starts yelling ‘YAH, YAH!!’  She digs her spurs on the horse then, she wips it.  The horse starts going nuts and this starts to freak Kelly out who starts yelling to Sonja to be careful or she will fall off the horse.

The horse is all over the place with Sonja on its back barely hanging on, while the horse is riding away, after teasing Gonzo for a while the horse decides it’s time to toss that annoying bitch off its back. Horses are smart animals, they can sense when someone is a jerk, and know when it’s time to throw a bitch off its back. It was Kelly’s turn in her first season joining the cast and it’s Sonja’s turn this time.

Gonzo lands right on her ass and breaks it. But the dumb bitch gets up like nothing happened while holding her ass crack together so she doesn’t shit her pants. She’s pretty tough, walking around with a broken ass. But I guess decades of walking around that golden apple will do that to you. This was the best part of the whole episode and I love it because every time Sonja does something fucked up she keeps looking like a fool. Last time with the fugly ass painting where she looked like a propped up corpse who’s fanning her queefes out, and this time she got thrown off a horse. So Karma is doing her job.

After Gonzo gets up, and starts dragging her broken butt away, she is blaming Kelly for falling off the horse and says it’s all Kelly’s fault.

When all the bitches go to Quoge expect Sonja. Ramoners shows ups demanding Pinot Grigio. Again. LuAnn says that Ramoners has a bad case of the Pinot Grigio Polar Syndrome. I think Ramoners is just a drunk.

How come, this whole episode reminded me of that one show Intervention? Ramonzon gets all worried too, she looks like a fucking junkie that’s going to start climbing the walls after she asks Cindy if she has her Pinot Grigio. Cindy tells her that they will have it and Ramona starts twitching. Watch that part again she starts to twitch and looks like she’s going to start climbing the walls. Cindy assures her that she will get her Pinot Grigio fix and Ramoner gets all worried. It was crazy. But after they get some wine in her belly, Ramona just goes ass shit.

After Ramona throws that junkie buggie dance, over the wine, she chases after Kelly who is supposedly scared of her and is trying to ditch her. Kelly then distracts Ramona by sending her off to play as if the bitch was 8 years old. Ramona is insulted and not digging that shit.

Running with the horsewife theme of this episode Cindy’s un-birthday party also has horses. I guess Bravo was hopping for two people to fall.

When Ramona sees the horses she jumps on one and starts trying to do the  same shit Sonja was doing earlier that got her thrown off the horse. But luckily this time we have a responsible horse babysitter or whatever you call that lady that was there making sure the horse didn’t go bat-shit crazy with a drunken bitch on top of it and who told Ramona ‘HELL NO!’. When that bitch wanted to start wiping the horse and take it for a joy ride around the whole farm while chogologing Pinot Grigio from the bottle.

After Ramona is denied her right to run amuck, on top of a mustang in a farm terrifying party goers, she gets frustrated and decides it’s time to go fuck with Cindy’s brother Howie, about the whole cigar fiasco. She wobbles all drunk over where he is at, and proceeds to question him about the cigar he was smoking that belonged to Ramona’s dead friend whom Howie’s wife used to be married to. Howie freaks out and he walks away avoiding the drunken crazy lady. But Ramona continues to follow him and bitch him out about why he was smoking that cigar and blah, blah, blah.

During this whole time Howie’s big ass bodyguard wife gets in between him and Ramona.  Isn’t that the same bitch that was at the wedding? When I first saw this episode I thought that big bitch was Cindy. FOR REAL! I thought that, they do look like twins and those bitches were wearing the same L7 flannel shirt, which made it harder to tell them apart.

Finally the real Cindy steps in and berates Ramona and tells her to cut the shit out she yells at Ramona: ‘ ABSOLUTELY NOT!’, Cindy puts Ramona in her place and tells her she needs to stop being a crazy ass bitch.

Ramona gets all emotional and crazy drunk and tells Cindy she’s shaking because she has to deal with this cigar debacle. Cindy says she don’t give a rat’s ass this bitch is shaking she’s freaking out her 80 year old parents.

Suddenly just as Ramona’s crazy was flaring up it went down when a crisis involving dip happened. Then everyone is happy again. Nothing like dip to solve the worlds problems.

Last week Jill Zarin went out in public looking a little less hagered and  more stretched in the face than usual. Obviously she had something done, but didn’t want to admit having a face transplant.  When asked by Popeater she said, “If I did, I would be the first to admit it,”   and also  ”When I had my breast reduction I was very open about it.”.

 Althought she is denying having procedures done professional Doctors, that are professional, have also given their expert opinions about Jill’s face looking freshly butchered and rearranged.

 Dr. Michael Salzhauer told the blog Realitytea:“It appears that Jill Zarin has had a nose job or Rhinoplasty to narrow and lift the tip of her nose.”

And also  Dr. Jennifer Walden told Popeater she believes Jillousy got her face butchered a few times and got a nose job, “It appears Jill Zarin has had injectables like Botox to her crow’s feet and forehead, as well as possible fillers to the nasolabial folds, or laugh lines,” she ads. “Also, it looks like she has had a rhinoplasty (or nose job), which served to straighten and narrow her nose.”

Jill Zarin still insist she did not have a face lift or anything like that she just had her doctor inject a lot of battery acid and chupacabra blood, from a baby chupacabra, while on top of a pentagram and supposedly this works wonders.

Today she gave an interview to People, “I have a liquid face lift every six months,” She also came up with a good one  said she did not have a nose job but states  her makeup artist drew her a new nose, “He put brown contouring makeup on my nose and thinned it out,”.

 She even paid her makeup artist to cover for her lying ass  had her makeup artist back her up. He said, “We also made her face look thinner by airbrushing the sides and hairline two shades darker,”  and also. “Before she was just using TV makeup, which didn’t give any dimension.”

So that’s the explanation that took her a couple of days to pull out of her ass. Sonja Morgan, Ramona Singer and also house skank Simone Van Kempen , all gave their opinions on these bitches’ recent possible face transplant.

And although I didn’t mention this last week on this blog, what was up with that bitches super bout of crazy when she demanded a recount on the polls? For real bitch? How can she still think that after all the shit she talks and does that people still like her? And when she sees that they don’t like her rather than accept the truth, she goes into a hurricane level bitch fit and even threatens the network that writes her paycheck with a lawsuit if they don’t recount that shit. And how the fuck is she gonna sit there and force people to vote for her by tweeting and all this begging annoying shit, and what is she gonna do if they refuse to vote for her, threaten the audience or her fans that no longer like her with a lawsuit?

 This makes me wonder who is she surrounded by all day. Is she surrounded by ‘yee’s maam’ peons all day, that are paid by Bawby to kiss her Royal Pain In The Highness hiney and delete all negative comments from all her social media methods so that she will shut the hell up and be happy, and her husband can run around all day minus her nagging ass?