A report on Media Fetcher earlier today stated that Tamra Barney died today November 11 in a Jet-Ski accident!

Check this shit out:

 And apparently Tamra has superhuman vampire powers or some shit because the bitch, CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD!! And came out barking that she is alive and kicking and that the story about her death is bullshit!

Check this shit out:

Barney took to Facebook to clarify that reports of her death are greatly exaggerated. “For those of you that have been asking….. I am very much alive!” she wrote on the popular social media site.

She later wrote, “I guess I better call my mom before she starts freaking out…. she is one of those that believes everything she reads… lol.”

In very small print at the bottom of the page, the mediafetcher.com site says, “This story is 100% FAKE! This is an entertainment website, and this is a totally fake article based on zero truth and is a complete work of fiction for entertainment purposes!”

When asked about the false report, Barney said in a text message: “At first I didn’t think much of the report.  I got a call from my producer saying ‘OMG I’m so glad you’re alive’ and I had no idea why he was saying that. As the day went on I was overwhelmed with phone calls, text messages and  e-mails. It’s not an easy thing to tell your young children “Mommy didn’t die” before they heard it from a friend or stranger. It was very upsetting to friends and family that read it before I had a chance to call them. It’s a perfect example of how the Internet needs stronger laws to protect people. The site that did this to me and many others should be shut down. My attorney is looking into it.”

 The funny thing is notice how the post on the OC Register says the false report was made on November 9th? Now notice how on todays post it says the accident occurred today November 11th? WTF?? Sooo are they posting this shit because these fuckers are having some weird ass death wish on this bitch hoping it comes true? Not cool guys.

Tamra Barney’s son Rapey Ass Nugget Boy you may remember him from the episode where he had to have a breast reduction because he started growing girl chi-chis as the result of fucking around with steroids. Well there is a picture of supposedly his weiner circulating around the web and according to D-Listed (who describes this dude’s weiner in the most lovely way you can think of by the way) there is suspicion that the teetie tumor was used to stuff his roid torn dick. Click here if you want to look at this dude chocking his chicken.

Thanks Tiffany.

The Skank Platoon from the West Coast meet a member of the Skank Platoon from the East Coast.

Thanks Lisa L I jacked this one from you!

The last episode of the Real House Skanks of OC ended up with Tamra throwing a letter and a glass of wine at Jeana’s face for being a nosey ho’.  Even thought almost everyone else agrees that Jeana is nosey and should butt out of other bitche’s business, Gretchen Rossi is putting her 2 cents in this bitch-drama-fest and calling Tamra a bitch and a liar and says that Tamra is an attention-whore looking for camera time for showing up at the party with a cease-and-desist letter. 

Gretchen also states that Tamra is a poisonous bitch whom Gretchen chooses to NOT have in her life. Yet, she films with this other gutter skank on a daily basis, on a low-brow circus of attention-whore show and poses for toilet modeling pictures. UUOOKAY then. Here’s what she told Eonline:

“You don’t go to a party armed with a cease-and-desist letter,”… “To me, that’s overly dramatic. That’s looking for attention. That’s looking for camera time. And to throw it in somebody’s face when you’re an adult like that just shows your level of class and immaturity…”

Gretchen Rossi started out playing the role  of the sweet girl next door and grieving fiancee of the dying millionaire Jeff Beitzel. Many viewers got duped by Gretchen’s act but some others who are a little more street smart didn’t play into her bullshit act.  But, those who did are now demanding their dollar and their day back.

Tamra Barney was  definitely jealous of Gretchen when that bitch was a brand new ho in the OC slut brigade because her face was still freshly ironed(not so much anymore!).  But  whether Tamra was in fact jealous of Gretchen or not, afterall that ho’ took Tamra’s self proclaimed “hottest Housewife of OC” title . She definitely was keen to Gretchen’s gutter skank tricks since Tamra’s been around the block a few thousand times. I’m sure.

See, that bitch Tamra she is street smart like that, she’s seen bitches like Gretchen back when she used to work at the truck stop when she went by the street name ‘Truck Driver Tits ‘  and she had to punch bitches like Gretchen in the mouth when they tried to steal her customers from her best corner.

 It all started when Jay Photoglou first spoke out and spilled the beans about who this tart really was.  And what she was.  All the shit hit the fan when Gretchen attended her first reunion and Tamra called her out  on being a slut and a golddigger, who was cheating shamelessly on the dying fiancee, while playing with Jay Photoglou. Gretchen sat there with her ass- horse face and straight up lied, denied and denied. Jay Photoglou did not give up and the war began. Right around that time rumors that this slut got money from her dead sugar daddy leaving her the sum of 2 million dollars started to surface as well as Slade Slimey who started to be seen  with her  more often. But I bet he already had his slimy paws latched on to her. And so the showmance began  and he’s been mooching off her ever since helping her go through that 2 million.

Meanwhile Jay Photoglou has taken her stupid ass to court many, many, times and won them all. The last lawsuit had a price tag of 40 thousand dollars back in December 2010, he even had the bitch served when she stepped out of her car to attend a dinner party with the other house skanks which Bravo refuses to air and for that I say I want my fucking dollar back  because really? How the crap is Bravo gonna be filming gold like that and not let us see it? Bravo continues to try to sell us a bull shit story that is not accurate and I wish they would show this ho’ getting served how ’bout that.

From Radaronline 12/23/2010:

Real Housewives of Orange County star Gretchen Rossi may be forced to pay ex-boyfriend Jay Photogloua whopping $40,000 in attorney fees as a result of an anti-SLAPP motion filed by Photoglou in relation to a defamation lawsuit she filed against him.

Photoglou is also suing Rossi for libel, slander and five other counts. The lawsuit was originally filed in Los Angeles but for procedural reasons, was re-filed in Orange County.
Orange County Superior Court Judge Gregory Munoz tentatively ruled on Wednesday that Photoglou be awarded fees and costs of $40,799.38. An official ruling will be finalized Thursday.

This could mean more bad news for the platinum blonde reality star who faced another legal blow two months ago when the same judge threw out the crux of her defamation lawsuit against Photoglou, including claims of defamation, slander and portrayal in a false light.

“We filed a motion for attorneys fees asking for $80,000 knowing, the truth is, the best we could do is probably get half that because we won half the motion,” Photoglou’s attorney Bryan J. Freedman told RadarOnline.com exclusively.

Photoglou also has his own defamation lawsuit against Rossi, and Freedman assures that the case will go on.

“But the good part is she’ll be writing a check for $40,000 or be held in contempt of court,” he said.

Even her ex makeup artist/business parter got in on the action when she sued her for fraud and for punking her out of $2,183.00. Gretchen insist that the ex makeup artist told her she can keep the money because she is Gretchen Rossi and she is so hot and perfect. So Greedy, I mean Gretchen, put the money in a trust and later went and bought more meth with it. From Radaronline 04/20/2011:

Ronann alleges that in February 2009 he and Gretchen decided to form a make-up company together with the agreement that the profits would be split 50/50.

She claims that both invested $15k in the venture and filed documents to form their company.

However, Ronann never signed a partnership agreement with Rossi, insisting though that the two had an oral agreement. Ronann says that he tried to have the partnership agreement signed, but claims Smiley put the kabosh on that.

The lawsuit states: “From February 2009 onward, Rossi and Smiley engaged in an elaborate scheme to defraud Plaintiff out of her interest in the make-up Line.

“Rossi and Smiley conspired to exploit Plaintiff’s experience in, knowledge of and contacts within the make-up industry to create, design, launch and promote ‘Gretchen Christine Beaute.’ Once Rossi and Smiley obtained what they needed from Plaintiff, they planned to ‘cut her off without a dime.’ Their plan was premeditated.”

Myers claims that Rossi took $2183.00 out of the joint business account without permission. Furthermore, Rossi is accused of having any profits of the sale of the make-up deposited directly into her PayPal account, which Myers had no access to.

Myers is seeking $100k in damages, attorneys’ fees, and compensatory damages.

Gretchen Rossi has a long history of getting sued and fucked over. And it all started to happen after her ex-ex Jeff Beitzel died and all her Karma slowly started catching up to her with all the lawsuits from ex Jay, plus Slimey sponging off her, doesn’t help. Hopefully she is getting her money’s worth by making him do extra chores including all the extra bedroom chores she has him do.

So to continue the lawsuit saga, this time is Gretchen’s turn to sue Jay. And the best she could come up with was to asks a Judge if he can tell Jay to shut the fuck up and quit telling everyone the truth about her nasty ways and put a ‘muzzle on it’.

Latest news from Radaronline:

Gretchen Rossi of the Bravo hit television series, Real Housewives of Orange County, is asking a judge to muzzle her ex-boyfriend, Jay Photoglou from talking to the media about in their ongoing legal battle, in which they are both suing each other for defamation, libel, among the claims.

Rossi is seeking a protective order which would prevent Jay from discussing or disclosing “any information obtained through pretrial discovery, including her deposition,” the court docs state.

Photoglou vehemently opposes Rossi’s latest legal maneuver **, and his powerhouse attorney, Bryan Freedman, exclusively told RadarOnline.com: “Rossi has filed a motion for protective order. She seeks a protective order for all discovery she produces in this matter, including her deposition. We opposed the motion on numerous grounds including the fact that, while she seeks a protective order, she is simultaneously litigating the case in public and referencing to third parties (albeit inaccurate), statements allegedly made by Photoglou in his deposition.”

The request is particularly offensive to Jay because “the protective order is patently unfair as it is one-sided and seeks to limit the public from knowing Photoglou’s side of the story only. Since the PO only limits discovery, it does not prevent Rossi or her camp from continuing to spread vicious lies ** and private and personal information about Photoglou to the public,” the motion states.

Rossi was ordered to pay over $40k in attorney’s fees to Jay, and his lawyer said: “Rossi has failed to pay those attorney fees per the Court’s order. She has snubbed her nose at the court order. Photoglou is in the process of taking further action against her to recover those fees, although it has yet to happen.”

Gretchen Rossi has somehow managed and continues to get sued by ex boyfriend a shit load of times because he claims that Gretchen didn’t admit they were dating. The judge keeps granting Jay’s lawsuits and each time this bitch has to pay him. Thirthy thousand here, 19 thousand there until eventually she will have nothing left of her inheritance from Jeff Beitzel. What the fuck am I saying that money’s gone already. Bitch better hurry up and hock those fugly handbags at the swapmeet.

Even though Lynne Curtains is living in the van down by the river and she is no longer on the show, she still needed to ask Tamra what’s up with her and Fernanda. Plus this may get her some camera time so she can hop back on the show and make some much needed dinero.

Lynne informs Tamra that Fernando has bragged about the make out session Tamra and Fernanda shared on Tamra’s birthday, while Tamra was still married to Simon. Lynne also tells Tamra that Fernando’s crazy lesbian ass was not only bragging to Lynne, but also to the community about the Tamra-Fernanda love affair.

When Lynne asks if Tamra is gay, Tamra straight up tells her NO I’M JUST A WHORE! Then she starts singing ‘Blame it on al al al al alcohol, blame it on al al al alcohol’.  But at least no “nipple tweaking.” occurred between her and Fernando, so that means Tamra is straight. But just a whore.

Tamra must now break up with Fernando. Tamra also mentions that ever since her and Eddie became an item Fernando acts weird then she  brags that Eddie told her that the reason why Fernando acts like a whinny bitch since her and Eddie got together is because Fernando is ‘in love’ with Tamra. But that statement may be more Tamra bragging about herself.

Peggy pounds on Alexis door and demands to speak and confront Alexis on the whole thing with Jimbo not being present at her dinner party and disrespecting her and blah, blah, bla. Methinks she wants to get the dirt on this bitches marital problems. AlexAssLips starts twitching because every-time Peggy is around, the bitch gets the jealousy crazies and starts getting argumentative and all competitive with Peggy.

Peggy asks Alexis why Jim wasn’t at the party, and she says that she doesn’t believe that whopper about  ’work’  keeping Jimbo from attending the party. Specially since that fool,  ‘never had a real job’ even when he and Peggy used to knock fugly boots together. Then, AlexAssLips can’t take the heat anymore and blabs out that Jimbo hates the other bitches and that’s why he didn’t want to attend this bullshit party.

Peggy bitches at AlexAss about how Jimbo is an asshole to Micah, and AlexAssLips orders Peggy to shut the fuck up because Jimbo has owned four Lamborghini’s.  And they all got repoed. But still even though all of Jimballs Lambs got repoed; AlexAssLip’s husband still has to be the Alpha male. And Jimbo has the pathetic and desperate Alpha male complex down to an art-form so is very easy for him to flip out on Micah like that.

After AlexAssLips brags, about how perfect and Christian her perfect family is, she starts whining about how she doesn’t have time for a social life. Why, with all her children and nannies, and the fashion designing skeam plus the 18 hours a day of workout plus ad the five hours of puke sessions that go along with that, the poor thing has no time for a social life.

Peggy sits there with her mouth wide open because she wants to punch that ho’ in the mouth. How come these people give off a weird vibe every time they are around each other? And it goes beyond the vibe of the two bitches being jealous of each other. Specially AlexAssLips who seems to show more jelaousy towards that bony ass corpse they propped from the coffin named Peggy.The vibe is definitely icky. Did they swapped partners? EEEWWWWW!!!!

Vicki still hates Donn and now she is more pissed at him for embarrassing her at the dinner party calling her a ‘bitch’ and acting a fool. But she’s always hated him. Donn tries to talk to her and she just ignores him while she fumbles around in the kitchen. Donn gets all sad and takes off to his new job washing cars on the corner of the street for five bucks a car. Ten for wax. Fifty for happy ending. Yep, he gives the best blowjobs and car-wash on that corner!

Next, the Drunken Beinge Winery Hoping Adventures, starting Vicki and her ignorant racist undertone comments made to the Puerto Rican Winery worker who makes the mistake of innocently asks the bitches if they are ready to ‘go to the dark side’. Meaning dark wine. However, Vicki has to turn it into a race comment telling Tamra that since the wine attendant is ‘brown’ Tamra is going to jump him because Tamra likes the ‘dark’ meat. The wine guy is clearly pissed and wants to punch Vicki in the face because the bitch is totally insensitive and oblivious or just doesn’t care about how offensive and racist this comment came out. Everyone else is embarrassed for her. But, stupid Vicki just keeps going making the room cringe. And nobody calls her out on her ignorance.

Peggy is also invited to tag along in this winery hoping expedition and she decides to stick her tongue so far up Vicki’s ass with her constant, pestering interrogations of Vicki’s crumbling marriage that she ends up pissing Vicki off. Vicki cries.

Slimey’s mom shows up at his house and demands of Gretchen food and wine chop, chop. And she also demands that Gretchen makes more money to support her loser son. Gretchen downs some wine and now that she is nice and drunk she bails out to avoid her possible future mother-in-law and drives off in her car to the market to get more wine. While drunk.

Slimey’s own mama tells him that everyone in America thinks  that he’s a loser and Gretchen’s little house bitch. Then, she tells him that it’s no wonder Gretchen’s parent’s don’t like his ass because he needs to get a job.  She also mocks him by asking him if he thinks Gretchen’s dad will hand  his stupid ass the family business. Finally, she hands him an application for McDonalds that she got from Eddie.

Next Tamra meets Fernanda for lunch and to break up with her. Tamra tells Fernando that the bathroom kiss meant nothing. Since kissing a girl for fun doesn’t count when you’re drunk. Then, Tamra tells Fernando to quit being in love with her and Fernando says Tamra was just a bootie-call anyways and not a good one after all.

AlexAssLips is doing a photo-shoot to peddle her awful dresses. She first has lunch with her Pee Wee Herman gay assistant Dylan and tries to talk him out of going to his college class that night because she believes in her tiny little pea brain that she is a better education since he is internshipping with her broke ass.

But, the smart assistant decides he is going to class because that bitch is broke anyways and he knows that she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing and that her so called fashion line will go down the toilet to join Sheree Whitfield’s line. After the wise assistant bails out, AlexAssLips is left to do her photo-shoot with Towel. Damn that bitch does look just like Octomom. Is that her?

AlexAssLips must be really holding  a lot of bottled up anger because of all the shit she has to put up with, from Jimballs. Since she constantly acts like an angry, jealous, controlling, competitive, shrew every-time she’s around certain females and Towel just like Peggy, seems to be one of them. AlexAssLips must be jealous of that other bitche’s huge-ass lips, that’s what it must be.

During the photo-shoot-out Alexis tries to control and direct the poses that Towel is doing when she doesn’t even know how to pose herself! I swear that bitch would not make it as a model they would fire her stupid ass she kept making these stupid faces like she was a blow up doll while  she was squatting taking a shit. She just looked stupid.

I hate to say it, but even stupid ass Kelly Bensimoron can model and do poses.  And she’s a moron! But stupid AlexsAssLips cannot even do that!  How sad, maybe she really needs her Master of Puppets Jimbo there or else she may really forget to how to breathe!

AlexAssLips failed attempts to control the photo shoot are foiled by her controlling husband Jimbo, who turns the photo-shoot into a cover for a porn flick. He even sets off the hotel smoke alarms by catching the carpet on fire with his cigars. (It wasn’t the smoke machine that set it off.)

AlexAssLips is not liking that shit, but she says she has to ‘listen’ and obey her fugly husband or else he may give her a black-eye to go with her fat lip. So AlexAssLips just bends over and takes it.

But that’s okay she will take it out later on Towel or Peggy or whoever the unfortunate bitch that happens to be in front of her is  at that time.

Meanwhile Gretchen has dragged house-bitch and Slave Slimey I mean Slade,  to Texas to peddle her fugly bitch bags. Gretchen is having fun detaching Slimey’s balls and playing catch with them and passing them around  all the other people in the studio where she is filming an infomercial. Gretchen calls Slimey her ‘roadie’ and her house-bitch etc. Then, she demands he curls her hair like he did that morning.

Slimey is still in denial and insist that Jo De La Rosa was the one who emasculated and bossed him around, not Gretchen. Yeaahh sure whatever you say buddy!

Peggy gets wind that AlexAssLips had a photo-shoot and so she decides to clean up her freshly embalmed corpse and does a photo-shoot in her good whore-lingerie. Who needs to pay their house note when you can have pictures of a dried up mummified skank that’s been up for 6 weeks straight tweeking on meth and it shows.

Peggy brags that most girls may have the looks but can’t pose for shit. She must have being directing that dig at Alexis. And Peggy is right, she should know, wasn’t she like a famous model that traveled the world and was in various music videos.

Wait what? She wasn’t? Yeah well even though she was just some unknown, wannabe model who was never told that some guy taking pictures of you in your underwear in a Easy 8 motel room so he can look at them later doesn’t count as modeling;  at least Peggy knows how to pose and in that gorgeous lingere and thinning, stringy, hair Peggy looks like an old 57 year old  crack-addict, hooker, with botched-surgery tits and no ass that just took her last hit of crack and the funeral parlor just got done embalming her and they’re getting ready to bury her all decked out  in her best lingerie.

On this episode Peggy and her husband Micah ended up throwing their own version of the dinner party from hell with the chef that Micah was scoffing and spitting food at. Since Bravo hooked it up and paid for it they had no choice, but accept this chef.

This dinner party should ofreally being titled ‘ The Foreclosure Dinner Party Featuring AlexAssLips and HerTable Pooping Shenanigans ‘ because it is my understanding that during this time the pretentious Tanous were getting the boot from the bank and losing their home and Alexis was freaking out because of her lack of Jimballs.

While Micah and Peggy get ready for their dinner party, they name drop a bunch of shit, from their watch brands, down to the fancy toilet paper they use to wipe Peggy’s no-ass, ass all this fronting just to make sure we heard them and to pretend they don’t have the U-Haul truck all packed and parked behind the house where the cameras can’t see it.

Peggy made sure she spare no cost when it came to her expensive party and lavish table she even had a singer for entertainment, and even after Bravo picked up some of the tab it was still expensive.

Peggy had stated before that they always throw a big lavish dinner party for all their friends. And from the looks of it a couple of these dinner parties must have cost the equivalent of their monthly house payment. Maybe if they would not be so caught up in showing off what they can’t afford, to their so called friends and would have just lived within their meager means and eaten top Ramen instead of fillet Mignon and driving an old Ford Fiesta instead of the secondhand Bentleys and Lamborghinis they can’t even afford, they would still have a nice house and not be living in a van, shitting in a can, down by the river with Lynne and Frank Curtains.

In this episode Tamra introduces her new man Eddie Munster, I mean Judge, to the skank platoon. Tamra and Eddie show up to Vicki’s so they can head out to Peggy’s. Tamra dresses like an 80 year old eccentric, senile, great-grandma with all those jewelries I bet she loses like 70 lbs when all those Mr. T rings and necklaces come off. After Tamra introduces Eddie. Vicki just stares and sniffs Eddie, then she stares at his teeth for a long time. Tamra says she is sizing him up.

Then all of them start talking shit about Slade Slimey and his child support 100k tab since this was splattered all over the Internet at the time of filming.

While Vicki is sitting there sniffing Eddies ass to make sure he passes her inspection and earns her seal of approval. Eddie decides to jump in the bitch gossip wagon and says he will pick up Slade an application at the Mcdonalds. Vicki then decides to give Eddie her seal of approval and everyone is happy.

When Vicki and Tamra arrive at the party and exit the limo, Tamra reminds Vicki to spread her sausage legs to show the ‘beef’ to the camera. Cochina!

As previously mentioned it was around this time that Slade Slimey was making headlines for being a dead beat dad to his children.  Including his little boy who is cancer stricken . So he hid out somewheres in jail playing someones wife and Gretchen shows up to Peggy’s party escorted by a rented gay for the evening.

Alexis also shows up with her gay assistant because Jimbo was pissed off that Bravo can’t magically edit him to look like he’s not an asshole. Why does AlexAssLips need an assistant for anyways? It’s not like she works. Plus the one nanny she has left, is the one that watches her kids. Is her assistant there to assist her to wipe her ass when Jimbo is not around to do so? WTF.

Peggy has a microphone and everything going on for this pachanga, so she introduces a talented lady singer from Phylli. As soon as the lady starts singing Tamra and Eddie are on the dance floor dry humping each other. Dipshit Gretchen is watching them all jealous because Tamra is now better off than her. Since she has a man that at least has a job at his dad’s law firm. Cleaning toilets.

After they all dance everyone plops down to eat. Gretchen’s rented gay-escort makes fun of Eddie, and asked where Tamra found Eddie. ‘Did she find him on 1-800-salsa’. Tamra gets all pissed off and gives them the look of death. Donn had a few bong rips and leans over to his side of the table to tell to tell the others he thinks Gretchen’s sucked-up, crack-head, face looks like that corpse from the Munsters.  They all have a good laugh.

Peggy is pissed that everyone is acting like they’re in 6th grade. The bantering continues, when Gretchen is asked why Slade is not there and she answers that he was with his kids. Donn busts up laughing because he knows the bitch is lying. Plus Donn can’t help it, he’s baked out of his mind so shit is 10 times funnier. Gretchen has this shocked look in her face because Donn laughs his ass off at her for being a liar. Tamra says that Slimey wants everyone to believe the bullshit story he is not attending the dinner party, is because his bitch-ass is at home plucking his ass hairs. That bitch is right.

Suddenly Alexis loses her shit when she realizes she is in the middle of the shark tank without her cult leader husband Jimbo to boss her around, she whines “I don’t know what to do or say!, Booohooo, hooo!”. YES THE BITCH REALLY SAID THAT!! She goes into crying hysterics the way a 5 year old kindergarten baby would the first day of school, like Tamra pointed out. Alexis whines and cries that without Jimbo there, she doesn’t know how to act what to do or say. WHY THE FUCK DOES SHE NEED HIM THERE TO PULL THE STRING!!?? So AlexAssLips decides to get up and go to the bathroom to lock herself in there and cry some more.

AlexAssLips also gives everyone contradicting bullshit reasons for Jimbo’s unexpected absence. But, on her camera interview she says he doesn’t want to film with those cackling bitches. Previously she also said he quit the show because the cameras only edit to show his true prick-self, they can’t perform magic to make him appear like a nice guy and not like the ‘Real Broke Angry Asshole Of Orange County’ that he is. So he quit. Now this bitch is saying he hates everyone and doesn’t want to film with them. Oookay then.

Vicki and Tamra think the real reason Alexis is so upset Jimbo is not there with her, and he didn’t want to film that day, is because him and Alexis had a fight. I agree with those skanks. Because the way Alexis was on her Droid text-messaging him desperately for forgiveness when she first got to the dinner party, plus the bitch looks all worried like she pissed off her meal ticket, then she constantly leaves the table to go to the restroom to cry and or text him. I can tell they not only had a fight he probably beat her ass too that day, it must of being some big ass, loud fight and the neighborhood heard it.  I bet.

While Alexis has gone to the shitter to cry and try to text Jimbo hoping he will forgive her because she made him punch her in the mouth earlier, all the other bitches are left sitting there wondering what really happened to Jimbo.

Coked out Micah tells Alexis’s gay-cort/assistant Dylan if he plays the ’stunt double’ for Jimbo because he sure in fuck looks just like him. Dylan gets all mad because all the other dip-shits are now laughing at him specially Donn who’s got this real drunken, rowdy, laugh.

Gretchen goes to comfort Alexis and also to help her wipe her ass. Vicki, Tamra, Eddie and Donn are having fun, clowning of Slade Slimey and his dead beat shenanigans. Everyone at the table is all having fun and all that good shit except Alexi’s assistant who’s uncomfortable after getting clowned on.

Peggy and Micah turn to the Gunvalson’s to kiss some ass and bring up conversation about the Gunvalson’s being happily married a long time. The Tanouses, try to make it all nice like they are all happy crappy and shit, but like in five seconds Vicki starts arguing with Donn about him not wanting Vicki to have more children with him because Donn didn’t want children with her. Donn fires back at Vicki and calls her a ‘Bitch’. Vicki sits there all embarrassed and looking dumb.

During all this Donn and Vicki  barking at the table fun, Alexis returns to the table and continues lying about Jimbo’s reason to not be present.  First, she said his ass had to work, then he had a last minute client, after that it was that he had to stay home and Slimey was joining him so they can both pluck each other’s ass hairs. The last excuse according to Tamra’s verifications. But ya’ all know none of this shit is true, I agree with the fugly stepsisters about Jimbo NOT being there because his ass had clients or had to work or had an ass plucking session with Slimey.

After the fight with Jimballs he hooked up with the real Alexis Couture XXX Tranni and was ignoring AlexAssLips text messages.

Yep, he was over there with that tranni-ho’ while Alexis was left to fend for herself at that that horrible party with interrogator Peggy and the fugly stepsisters. Poor thing doesn’t know what to do or say without her cult-leader, psycho-ass, husband to pull the strings attached to her butthole and make her say and do the right things, which pretty much is whatever the hell he tells her to. Stupid bitch.

I don’t understand how Jimballs doesn’t want to be around the fugly stepsisters? He had no problem with that before, but now that the Tanouses joined this bitch-wreckage he doesn’t want to be around the mean girls ? How convenient. I bet him and Alexis get into fights over the fact that he dated that walking corpse Peggy because Alexis seems very jealous of her.

I bet Jimbo tauntes Alexis over Peggy to make her jealous and since Alexis is mentally handicapped her ass loses her shit and that’s the real reason I bet that ’smelly dork’ doesn’t want to be there. Sorry for rambling on about that shit because I had to get that off my chest since that episode. Anyways after all that mess and AlexAssLips came back she then leaves again back to the bathroom to compose her self. This time Gretchen and the assistant Dylan follow her ass to make sure she doesn’t water-board herself in the toilet as punishment, because Jimbo is not there to do it.

While AlexAssLips is in the shitter crying Gretchen is in there catching her turds and feeding into that bitches bullshit. If you listen carefully Alexis is crying over a fight with Jimbo but I bet a lot of the conversation was edited out. But listen carefully just listen and you can tell its about a fight her and the ’smelly dork’ had.

Gretchen is talking to Alexis about how those other bitches hate Alexis and talk shit about her and her ’smelly dork’ husband. And how they are all jealous. YES,  jealous because Alexis married an old, scary looking, fat fugly man, who reeks of cigars and feet and who bosses AlexAssLips around like a dumb bitch for a few dollars that keep the rhino feeces injections coming, so she can end up looking like Mama Elsa in the end.

Tamra is bored of the drama between Vicki and Donn and so she decides it’s time for some other fun entertainment, so she drags Vicki to the bathroom to listen in on those bitches. Specially on AlexAssLips. Because it’s funny. Tamra puts her ear to the bathroom door and Vicki plops her ass down on a chair to play a poor look-out who jumps up and screams when Peggy surprises them while Tamra is listening with her ear to the door. Vicki was all AAWWW SHIT!! I THOUGHT IT WAS A WALKING CORPSE!!! Damn Peggy almost gave Vicki a heart attackt. Peggy’s pale ass corpse face would scare the shit out of anybody who is distracted at the moment.She looks like a zombie that would be running around moaning ‘METH, METH, MEAAATH!!’ You know, just dragging her skeletor legs around begging for meth scaring bitches and shit. There’s just something that looks wrong about that bitch.

Anyways after Peggy’s scary mug breaks up the listening party. Peggy gets in there and opens the bathroom door to tell Alexis to either go back and eat dinner like a normal person or get the fuck out. And AlexAssLips just sits there sobbing like  a ‘ 5 year old ‘ losing her shit. At this point Peggy is fed up with AssLips for shitting on the dinner party and just wants to toss her out Irish Tavern style. AlexAssLips decides she is gonna go back and join the table after she makes an ass out of herself by making a stupid asshole speech  ‘ATTENTION EVERYBODY, I AM SORRY I TOOK A SHIT ON THE DINNER TABLE AND FUCKED UP THIS FUGLY BITCHES DINNER PARTY, BUT GOD WILL FORGIVE ME… AND NOW SOME NAKED SORORITY BITCH DANCING!’.

And just like that, her mood switched just like the music did at that party and she was greasing a pole Gretchen brought from home in her Gretchen Rossi, Butt Fugly purse. And Alexis and Gretchen were both grinding on the pole and each other in their panties and making the gay assistants dry hump each other so they could watch. Peggy was standing there with a shocked, disgusted look on her sucked up meth-head face.  And Tamra, Eddie, Donn and Vicki all bailed out laughing at Peggy because, she is the one that has to scrape and hose down that crazy drunken bitch Alexis and her posey off the floor in the morning when it’s time to clean up and the bitch wakes up in a puddle of puke and pissed-drunk.

Vicki and Alexis are supposedly finally ready to sit down and put down their differences. Supposedly. While they supposedly clear the air Alexis still bitches about Tamra bringing mace to her previous party . Then she starts yapping about how she is now a fashion designer extraordinaire, that will take over the world  with the ‘Alexis Couture’ line that she pulled out of ther ass the other day.   Then then bitch starts talking about how she is not ‘naive’ and she also works and blah, blah, blah. Vicki tries to pretend to be nice (I was surprised) and says to Alexis “Of course, not, you’re just young.”. Then stupid ass Alexis stick her foot in her mouth with a dumb comeback that only a stupid ho’ like her would say, about how she is not ‘young’ because she married a 48 year old ape who has a lot of life experience and he also pays her bills in exchange for smacking her around and keeping her in check.

You can tell Vicki wanted to monkey smack the stupid out of that ho’ too. I wonder if Alex-Ass-Lips even knows how stupid she sounds when she tries to pretend she knows something. Like when she sat there, trying to tell us  her definition of Couture: It’s like clothes that are umm rich?. Dumb bitch, didn’t she bother to look it up before she sat there yapping her ass lips? Maybe if she would of lookitup she would of found out that ‘ Alexis Couture’ is the name of a porn site like a reader on another blog pointed it out.

This episode showcased just how disgusting, obnoxious, vile, stupid and rude AssLips Bellino can be. Specially when she proceeds  to display her loving Christian behavior after blowing a fuse and cuts the sleeves off the Vegas casino hooker dress  that her ghost designer sowed. Bitch cuts that dress right in front of that poor horrified immigrant woman named Towel who sowed that shit by hand and candlelight all night. Then she took the  sleeves to the bathroom  and wiped her ass with them. (That bitche’s name is Towel? you mean like that stoned Towel on South Park?). Poor Towel was  enslaved by spoiled Alexis to make all the designs for her while Alex-Ass-Lips  sat there like the fake ass bitch she is, taking all the credit. Because ya’ all know that is exactly what happened.

And I know that poor Towel had to design and sow into the dress each piece of jewelry one, by one, by hand, on a time consuming mission and she was probably up all night too just so that  ass lips  throws a bitch fit and cuts that shit up then wipes her ass with it, with no consideration for this woman who sat there sowing this fugly ass dress  in order to pay for her giant sized lips.  Some bitches have to pay for their lips and AssLips Bellino just doesn’t give a shit since she just uses her giant lips to give that hairy monkey she married for money BJ’s to get what she wants including paying her butt lips. Oh wait, that’s right she doesn’t have pay for them, Jimbo punches her in the mouth daily when she gets out of line, thats why she gets those horse’s ass lips for free.

Now that Jimbo’s gravy train is drying up, Alexis thinks she’s gonna hawk these cheap ass dresses ala Sheree Whitfield that even a crack whore wouldn’t wear on a date behind the 711. Bitch better put her lips to practice because Jimbo’s boat is sinking and pretty soon there’s gonna be no mo’ money so this bitch better get her ass back to the motel to find the next suga-daddy that will pay for her ass lips and giant circus scary tits.

Jeana makes an appearance during this episode, when she stumbles and wonders looking like a homeless, crazy person, into some fashion show that Peggy and Tamra are gonna be on. Then she proceeds to plop down and talk to Tamra, (who is obviously avoiding her) and starts asking her questions that are none of her business, just so that she can go back and tell her buddy Simon.

All  the other housewives have participated in some sort of fashion show I guess it was these bitches turn to do it also. The fugly ass outfit that Tamra is wearing for the fashion show really brings out her  tubby ass, orange body. She looks like an Oompa Loompa church lady with scary, saggy, huge, circus-tits. It was horrible.

Speaking of scary circus tits Peggy gets to show her new tits off, during their model cat walk thingy, and we get to see the big ass scars and scary veins on her nasty ass balloon tits that make her look like a 60 year old dried up stripper with giant boobs. Those balloons  look so heavy and disproportionate on her anorexic, trailer park, meth-addict, shrively body that they look like they sag too.

Peggy had  her catwalk ‘pimp’ strut down, while slinging one arm like she had some muscle disease malfunction. Maybe when the doctor sowed the boobie together he pinched some nerve,  and it makes Peggy’s arm sling like that. Who knows. Bitch looks like a lizard with high heels on, who is trying to sling her arm and fly away like those flying lizards and shit.

Since  Tamra was invited to participate in the catwalk  for this episode, she decided to turn up the drama for the cameras, by pretending she’s scarreeedd to do the catwalk and she is shy . Bitch hides under the stage biting her nails and calling Eddy on the phone crying, that she can’t to the catwalk because she’s a shy little flower but Eddy reminds her to put her big girl pants on and pretend she’s back at the strip club.
Once she does her catwalk Tamra gets all into it, and forgets her shy act. Then she has a flashback when she used to dance the pole and remembers how much fun she had strutting her stuff.  Bitch even throws some gang signs from Eddie’s gang that she now joined called ’The OC Locos’. Eddie was proud of her.

Later on though, Eddie is gonna be kicking Peggy’s husbands Micah’s ass for being an ignoramus pendejo.

Apparently Micah and Peggy wanted to have a celebrity chef cook for them for some dinner party from hell they are throwing, and Bravo hooked up Susan Feniger, from Border Grill. Peggy is another Alexis because when she’s giving her camera interview, the bitch sure knows how to sound stupid she full on told us how her and Micah were so excited to have a celebrity chef that they didn’t realize the chef specializes in Mexican food.

Once the nice lady chef meets with these two turds, she brings out a parade of delicious Mexican dishes and Micah finds something wrong with all of them. Then he spits back each one in her face and yells I DONT WANT MEEXXICUUN FOOD, THATS FOR POOL PARTIES AND MEXICUUNNS, DO I LOOK MEXICUUN? BITCH I WANTS ME SOME FANCEEEY FRIED OREO COOKIES, JUST LIKE MOMMA MADE AT THE TRAILOR PARK  AND SOME STEAK MARINATED IN PEPSI AND BEER UHUMMM! Mmkay then… Cletus and Peggy (damn even her name sounds trailer parky I didn’t even have to change it to make fun of this bitch. No offense to other girls named Peggy) they must of  grown up at the fancy trailer park, where folks can afford hamburger meat and fried Oreo cookies this explains why he is a man of taste and since Cletus and Peggy are now fancy celebrities Cletus demanded the chef rearranges the menu for them to include fried Oreo cookies.

Here’s  a picture of Micah Cletus and Peggy when they were young and sexy.

Of course while Cletus kept throwing his bitch fit on the food that was being graciously presented to his ungrateful ass, Peggy  just sat there like a pendeja not saying anything but you could tell she felt dumb like she was gonna get yelled at later by her husband for letting Bravo pick this chef that he didn’t care for since Peggy doesn’t give a shit what food is being served as long as the chef is a ‘celebrity chef’ and she can impress her friends.

Vicki’s daughter Briana is going to Vegas with that poor girl Danielle that got sexually harassed by Vicki via spanking on TV in front of God and everybody. Before she leaves Vicki  has some nags to throw at Briana because Vicki feels that if Brianna goes to Vegas without Vicki chaperoning her, some shit may go wrong. Like for example Brianna may get roofied (like Tamra and Peggy did) or get a tattoo. NO NOT THAT!

While Briana is sitting there in Vicki’s kitchen getting lectured about going to Vegas her phone rings and it’s probably her boyfriend. The one that Brianna doesn’t want Vicki to meet. Vicki goes over to look at Briana’s phone to see who is calling her and Briana gets irritated because she doesn’t want her nosy ass mom to be up her ass like that. Vicki then starts questioning Briana if Briana’s boyfriend has tattoos, or a job or if he is a meth-head. And also Vicki warns Briana not to get tattoos while in Vegas. Because Vicki wouldn’t want her only daughter to  have fun partying and getting drunk , while bending over at a sleazy bar getting a tattoo. God forbid.

Of course when Brianna and Danielle get to Vegas Vicki is calling Brianna non-stop. And while in Vegas Briana and Danielle get shit faced and take some hookah rips . Unfortunately  they weren’t smoking anything fun or illegal that’s medically legal but they had a good time and they even got picked up on by 2 lesbians. Did they go to the lesbian bar?

After that awkward scene. That I don’t even know why Bravo showed it,the girls pretend to go to bed while the cameras where rolling. After the camera men fell asleep in the hallway of the hotel by the door, like Vicki payed them to, the 2 girls went out and had some real fun.

And speaking of lesbians, the moment we all been  waiting for and wondering about. Fernanda spills the beans, Fernanda spills the beans. Yes Fernanda spills the beans bitches, and you know what, I suspected the Fernanda/Tamra friendship too.

While at a work-out at some gym that Fernando and her ex-own,  ex-house skank Lynne Curtains is there stoned out of her mind like always, and working out with Fernando and Fernando’s ex who looks like she can kick Slade’s ass.

Meanwhile during casual conversation Fernando spills the beans that when Tamra was married to Simon she followed Fernando into the bathroom to molest her and for a make out session. And probly’ other shit too.  Fernando’s ex isn’t happy when she hears that  Jerry Springer shit those 2 bitches pulled. Fernando then, interrupts the work out session to storm off to the bathroom while Lynne stands there clueless and looking dumb like she did for the 2 seasons she was on this train wreckage. No one is happy except Tamra’s ex Simon who is laughing at all this shit.

Stupid ass Gretchen keeps complaining that Slade is a broke ass and wonders  when is he going to get her jewelry and cars and fancy shit like that ,  like she is accustomed to . The bitch also keeps wondering when he is gonna buy her diamonds for her birthday. Instead he takes her to an art studio and gives her a pair of fugly ass painter pants. Then he gets his artist friend to give Gretchen an unfinished painting of her from the first season she was on. But at least compared to Sonja’s fugly ass painting that made her look 80,  Gretchen’s painting just looked unfinished and cartoony. Slimey sticks the painting in the bathroom right in front of the toilet so that he can look at Gretchen while he takes a shit because that’s what he thinks about when he sees her.

That was it bitches . Sorry I haven’t been around lately to post but I been crazy busy at work plus I was moving my home computers around doing my spring cleaning last weekend and didn’t have access to them for a couple of days. I also got my new laptop which I am very excited about.

Since Tamra Barney has being letting Eddie Judge bang her, he has wasted no time in riding Tamra’s shit-listed coattails and meeting all the Bravolebrities that keep this shit-storm swirling like clockwork of chaos for our sick and enjoyable entertainment.

Check out the one picture where everyone is passing Tamra’s bra around, I guess no one would buy her nasty ass bra on Ebay so she tried to give it away to drunken people . Aren’t they afraid if they touch that bra they may catch the squirby from that bitch?

Yep, sounds like Tamra, always pulling some trailer park stunt like getting drunk and taking off her bra in front of a crowd of drunk-asses. And she still expects us to believe she ‘forgot’ the cameras were in the room when she stripped naked and let Eddie hump her on camera in front of God and everyones’ grandmother!

According to Radaronline Tamra Barney and Eddie Judge are already engaged. Tamra has stated that her and Eddie will soon be walking down the aisle and that they’re speaking about getting married and adopting a child. She also still insist Eddie and Simon were buddies and that Eddie is straight.

Here is what she told Radaronline:

 Wedding bells will be ringing soon for Tamra Barney and her new boyfriend.

Speaking exclusively to RadarOnline.com, the Real Housewives of Orange County star said she and Eddie Judge, her boyfriend of more than a year, are planning to say ‘I Do’ and have even discussed adopting a child together!

“We’ve talked about marriage and we want to get married,” gushed 42-year-old Tamra, who shared the couple’s private photo album with us.

“It’s an insane amount of love; I have never said term ’soul mate’ before, but we are!

“We finish each other’s sentences… I’m not the easiest person in the world and he gets me, nor does he judge. He simply says, ‘that’s my girl.’”

It has been a tumultuous few years for the reality television mother-of-four after a very public divorce from husband of 11 years, Simon Barney, who also featured on the hit Bravo show.
Tamra insisted Eddie, 37, was never friends with Simon, as her ex had claimed.

“He put that out there when Eddie and I started dating,” Tamra said of Simon, who has also moved on with a new girlfriend.

“We had gone to holiday parties about two years ago where Simon and Eddie briefly met, but they never had a friendship and no numbers were exchanged.

“So the extent of their relationship amounted only to meeting socially maybe three times.

“Simon has even admitted to me that he was sorry and at the time he was p*ssed off.”

Tamra said she has slowly started to introduce her children — Ryan, Sidney, Spencer and Sophia — to new beau Eddie, in anticipation of walking down the aisle together.

“Within the next year we’ll be married,” Tamra told RadarOnline.com, in an exclusive interview.

“It’s all about timing right now and the kids play a huge part.

“If it weren’t for the kids, we’d be married right now… but we’re happy as can be; it’s happily ever after!”

“Eddie is one of the best things that’s ever happened in my life; he’s understanding, he’s caring and he just really has a big heart.”

She said Eddie reveals on an upcoming episode he’d also like to add one more child to Tamra’s brood.

 ”Eddie is adopted and said he’d even like to adopt,” she said.

“If I could, I’d do it again. I have four… I’ve been a mother since 18 and I love being a mom. It’s the only thing I really know.”

 Thanks to my reader Uwish for letting me know about this little piece of gossip.

But wait! Holy Contrabullshits!!! like Bethenny would say. I was on Facebook a minute ago and here was Tamra talking to some of the people that I know that know her, and  here she is on Facebook, pissed and denying what Radaronline posted and also stating that Radaronline is changing the title. Which right as I am posting this fuckery hasn’t been changed so we’ll see.

I wonder if Eddie got into a lover’s spat with his boyfriend Marcos because they were not supposed to take the famewhoring charade this far and post shit like that. But the bath tub porn was okay. Who the fuck knows with these two boneheads! But I bet we’re gonna have fun finding out .