AlexAss Bellino’s 7 inch nipples must of gotten winded up again to the tune of preachy diarrhea spewage of the mouth, causing her to have visions from heaven, about being the chosen Saint AlexAss of Whoredom; because the bitch has established a new religion based on looking like a two dollar pole polisher who sucked the last needle of Botox at Dr. Pervy Dubrow’s warehouse. Since thanks to Saint AlexAss, and according to the mumbly voices in her head she has brought a lot of lost girls who didn’t know they can dress like Bunny Ranch hookers while attending church services back to worshiping. Except this time they worship the Saint Patron Pimp Daddy of Plastic Surgery.

She recently told the Huffington Post:

“I don’t walk around with my Bible, but I am religious,” Alexis tells me. “I believe in Jesus Christ and that he is our savior and I am vocal about it. Sometimes I look back and think, ‘Would I have been so vocal about it if I had known about the backlash I would have gotten?’ I take in the critics and if it gets bad, I just think about a scripture … I have brought so many girls back to the Lord because they didn’t realize you could go to church and dress like this.”

AlexAss also revealed that the other Orange County House Skanks have gotten all kinds of whale fat injections and all sorts of face ironing procedures to keep their mugs as scary as possible and she specially shits on Vicki about it:

“Vicky [Gunvalson's] been on [the show] for seven years,” Alexis tells me on my HDNet talk show, “Naughty But Nice.” “If you go back and watch the first season, she looks nothing like it and acts different. We all have had work done! Are you kidding me? Anyone who says differently is lying.”

I guess she is not exactly friends with Vicki. But, at least thanks to AlexAss, now I know that I can just roll into church with the same street walker costume, complete with the seven inch heeled open-toe, fuck-me-shoes I wore to the club the previous night where I took a bath in a tub of Grey Goose and beer farts and smoked a joint in the church parking lot right before Sunday Services and nobody is going to notice because I bet nobody notices when Saint AlexAss walks into church just like she just left a porno shoot and I bet NOBODY at her church has EVER called her a whore to her face while they sneeze in their hand and laugh at her idiotic ramblings.

Well it was reported that Vicki Gunvalson has been running around with this Brooks Ayers guy for a while now, that even his ex-girlfriend spoke to Radaronline and told them that she ran into a jealous Vicki back in 2007 who followed this woman into the bathroom to confront her and rip her eyes  out and pretty much told her STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN!!

The funny thing is that Brooks-dog was porking both of them at the same time  as well as other women (which he proudly admitted) and he laughed it off like a pig in shit!! It seems that he was dating Vicki who was cheating on Donn with Brooks at the time, who was cheating on Vicki with the girlfriend, and also with many other women that he was assisting in filling up their ‘love tanks’. But, it seems that Brooks decided to make Vicki his main bitch since she is the one that pays his child support bills.

Now, a lot of you have been posting comments that this dude looks like the guy from Cabo and I agree. I honestly believe this WAS the guy from Cabo and when Vicki and Tamra went to the Cabo-pachanga, this fool was tagging along behind the scenes and the whole time they were both claiming they were at a girls get-away Vicki’s new man was there too filling up her ‘love tank’. That’s what it looks like!

From Radaronline:

His ex-girlfriend, a woman named Debbie Keane, told RadarOnline.com that she started dating Ayers in 2005 and had a run in with a jealous Vicki way back in 2007, years before Vicki went public with their relationship and while she was still married to Donn Gunvalson.

“I was tagging along on a business trip with Brooks in 2007 in West Palm Beach, Florida and he kept talking about how his friend who was famous was coming to the conference,” Keane said. Sure enough, Vicki arrived at the financial planning group conference and immediately sought Brooks out.

“She sent him a text saying ‘finally here, I need a drink,’” Brooks’ ex said about Vicki.

Debbie said that two nights later she and Brooks were in a bar when Vicki walked in, so she followed her to the bathroom and confronted her about flirting with Brooks.  “She told me to mind my own business and then went and told Brooks he needed to ‘keep your girl in check.’”

However, Vicki remembers things quite differently — when contacted by RadarOnline.com she admitted to having met Debbie at the conference but claims that there was no fight, and in fact that Debbie “was really nice and complimented me on the show and on my outfit.” Vicki also insists that she was at the conference with Donn.

Debbie goes on to make a further, shocking, claim about Vicki and Brook’s relationship though: “In 2009 Brooks was at my house in Memphis when Vicki started texting him while she was away renewing her vows.  He told me she was saying that Don was so good to her but she didn’t really care anymore.”

Vicki totally disputes this ever occurred however, swearing to RadarOnline.com that she had no cell service in Turks & Caicos, where they were, so it would of been impossible for her to send any text messages.

Meanwhile, just last week Debbie said she had been communicating again with Brooks, who despite still being married, and reportedly dating Vicki, was trying to visit her in her new home.

“He wanted me to pay to fly him out here to meet him,” Debbie said.  She said she asked Brooks why he didn’t have his own money to fly and see her since it was reported that he had paid for a shopping trip with Vicki on May 11.

Debbie alleges that Brooks told her he didn’t actually pay for the purchases!  “Vicki went to change and I signed her name to her credit card receipt in the store, I didn’t pay for her new clothes myself,” Debbie says Brooks told her.

As for his relationship with Vicki, Debbie said he told her it isn’t exclusive.  “I’m not just seeing Vicki,” she claims he told her.  “I’m talking to three other women too.”

Meanwhile, Vicki insists that she and Brooks were never serious in the first place and that they are “taking a break” right now.

So this girlfriend of his was staying with him in his hotel while his ass was coming out to see Vicki. Aaand he makes the women pay for everything while he shamelessly admits it!  What a dog and an asshole!

Brooks Ayers doesn’t put his ‘huevos’ in one Love Tank. When this doofus got arrested for DUI he got his other girlfriend to fork out the bail money.

Here is the article about his DUI arrest:

Dui arrest:

The new boyfriend of Real Housewives of Orange County star Vicki Gunvalson has had multiple arrests relating to unpaid child support, and now RadarOnline.com has exclusively uncovered another arrest – this time for a DUI!

Brooks Ayerswas arrested on June 15, 2009 for DUI in DeFuniak Springs, Florida and RadarOnline.com has obtained his mug shot.

According to his ex-girlfriend Debbie Keane she paid his $1,000 bail in cash after he was arrested while driving to visit her on vacation.

“They kept him for two days and I finally got him out,” Keane exclusively told RadarOnline.com. The Walton County Clerk of the Court confirmed that Ayers was arrested on June 15 and bailed out by Keane, with cash, on June 17, 2009.

“He told me he was sorry, that he would totally pay me back,” his ex-girlfriend said.   “He has never paid me back.”

As RadarOnline.compreviously reported, Ayers was arrested twice in 2010 for not paying child support, and after landing in jail Gunvalson wrote a letter on his behalf to the judge, pleading for his release.  She wrote the letter two months before filing divorce papers from her husband Donn.

That’s three arrests in two years for Vicki’s new boyfriend.

Even Vicki’s children appear to be disgusted with Vicki for stepping out on Donn. Her son was very displeased with her and he is on Donn’s side. I remember that episode when they were all on the boat and Vicki’s children seemed to have a good time and laugh with Donn and got along with him better than with Vicki. You would think they were his bio-children. Her son says he still considers Donn his ‘pops’ and he will still have him in his life. 

Vicki’s non-annoying daughter Brianna who I think is a very nice girl, with a good head on her shoulders, whom I make a point to NOT CLOWN ON, because she doesn’t deserve it. Says she doesn’t want to meet her mom’s new boyfriend.  She even expressed that on Facebook recently and I was able to get a hold of this comment from her:

Real House Skank Vicki Gunvalson’s new man Brooks Ayers  is being accused of being a dead beat  and a two-timer, who fucked over two women that he was involved with.

Apparently this guy knows how to get around because his ass was married to a woman by the name of Kim, they have three children together and while married to her, his dirty birdy-ass had an affair with some woman named Nicolette Catanzarite from Indianapolis, IN. While with the other woman he was  busy making babies also and so they had a son together. Later, they ended up breaking up and now  he owes about 40 thousand dollars total in child support to both women!

 What’s more fucked up is his ex-wife claims this doofus is a serial cheater of the 10th level, who was arrested two times in Mississippi and in Alabama for his deadbeat shenanigans. But, even though he is a loser Vicki Gunvalson still picked his ass up from the gutter to date him.

 It gets better, Vicki herself  who has slammed Slade Slimey for being a dead beat was already  hanging around Brook  Ayers when she was still married to Donn because it appears that back in September Brook got arrested for being a dead beat and Vicki herself  send a letter to a judge back then begging him to let deadbeat out of jail and this happened when she was still married to Donn! Click here to read the letter.

From Radaronline:

It’s claimed he owes about $40,000, in total, to her and another woman: his ex-girlfriend, Nicolette Catanzarite from Indianapolis, IN., with whom he has a son.

What’s more, we’ve also learned Vicki even leant her famous name to her beau’s case in a desperate bid to bail him out of his financial disaster.

“I am a personal friend of (David) Brooks Ayers and am acting on his behalf at this time,” the reality star wrote in an August 30 letter to a Mississippi judge, pleading for him to be released from jail.

It was written almost TWO MONTHS before Gunvalson filed divorce papersfrom husband Donn and while the pair was still living together at her Coto de Caza, Calif., home.

Their divorce is still pending.

“Due to the fact I live in California, I am unable to deliver this request personally,” Gunvalson added in her missive to the court.

“This letter is requesting a hearing before a judge as soon as possible.”

In an exclusive interview, Brooks’ estranged wife Kim, with whom he has three children, said she was fighting for what her shattered family was owed in lost alimony.

“My ex-husband has a history of cheating,” she claimed, citing as proof her husband’s illegitimate child with Nicolette, 16-month-old Joey.

“I’m offended by adultery — it’s not right.”

Brooks and Kim had been married for over 20 years when he suddenly filed for divorce four years ago. However, the divorce was not granted at the time he embarked on his new relationship.

“I don’t want him back,” Kim told RadarOnline.com. “What I want is the child support. He ought to do the right thing and take care of his kids.”

She also warned Vicki: “Sometimes you don’t know people. You have a choice to make. Do your homework! It’s not hard.”

The other woman in this complicated love triangle, Nicolette, told RadarOnline.com that she began a relationship with Brooks under the pretense that he was “legally separated” from Kim.

“I once thought of Brooks just what Vicki said on the show; he was the sweetest southern guy in the whole wide world,” she said in an exclusive interview from her home.

“But over the last two and a half years, I have slowly realized things weren’t right. He’s the catch-me-if-you-can type of guy. He’s definitely a deadbeat dad.”

Nicolette claimed she is owed $900 a month plus $19000 in arrearages.

She charged: “I want the bastard to pay child support!”

The deadbeat dad case carries more than a hint of irony for Vicki, who was been an outspoken critic of co-star Gretchen Rossi‘s boyfriend Slade Smiley, who as RadarOnline.com previously reported, owes a whopping $138,857.64 in unpaid child support.

I guess since Gretchen was dating a dead beat Vicki had to run out and get herself her own deadbeat.

Thanks to my readers that posted the link to this mess!

Chauvinistic pig Jimbo Bellino may try to act sanctimonious on TV (he can’t pull it off) and tries to sell us the facade that he only looks at his wife’s chest. But, just recently one of my regular readers ran into the Bellino’s while at Disneyland and Alexis was trailing behind Jimbo smelling his raunch-farts and it looked like she was blowing her nose (crying?) Alexis looked bored and sad and Jimblob was staring at my reader up and down like a piece of meat!

Here is what my reader posted:

Ok…so. U will never guess who we just walked by..Alexis Bellino from RHOOC..

I saw them at Disneyland, the day before Mothers Day..Jimbo was walking with the kids, and they look a lot more grown up than they do in the show…he was staring right at me giving me the “I’ll Do you if my wife wasn’t here look” She was trailing right behind him, digging in her nose with a tissue????..wasn’t sure if was crying, or had Allergies, or what???..He is SKINNY (not the dough boy on TV)..and she was in these huge Platform shoes, and white cropped jeans, and her legs are long and TINY..she is a very little Lady. She looked sad, and bored. He looked like he needed to be “noticed” more than he needed to be there with his Family.
My Husband who was not too far away and He and my oldest daughter were like OMG..that’s Alexis from RHOOC..they were laughing and saying, I should just walk by and say “Hi Jim, Hi Alexis” and keep on walking, as if they were no one different than my neighbors……I didn’t though..but it would have been funny…I think they go to places like that, to get their EGOS boosted, by people “recognizing” them…
Then on her twitter, she was talking about her dresses or something..not about how she spent the day with her Kids and Hubby at Disneyland, making a fun Family Memory…WOW these people.

anyway..she is VERY small, not even 100lbs, for sure..she is a pretty woman, but not happy looking, and Jim, is scouting his next MRS…oh and her “ring” looked FAKE..like a Spinel or a good CZ…I have a pretty big one, and it’s not even “top notch” and it looks better.. and you can tell the difference from a mile away…hahahah

The funniest part is that this fucktard doesn’t even realize that my reader comes on here all the time making fun of his smelly ass.

Donn Gunvalson’s  body wasn’t even cold yet, when Vicki found herself a new man. His name  is Brook Ayers. She already trained him to carry her shopping bags for her, and he also listens to her nonsense, looks just like  Donn , except this one works in insurance. Wonderful! This way they can be screaming and moaning insurance shit in the heat of the passions, while her new Donn look-a-like grabs her from behind. And why does this fucker look just like Donn? Is this the man from Cabo?

Since Vicki is still with Donn on the show she was hesitant about stepping out in public with her new man. So she has also trained  his ass to wait in the car and shut up, but she left the window open she is not a monster. Wow! That bitch knows how to train them. An insider told Life & Style: “Vicki hadn’t wanted to go public with Brooks just yet because on the show she’s still with Donn”.

Apparently his ass either suffers from a brain disorder, or he just has no access to TV and Internet  because he is dating Vicki, and was sniffing around Vicki’s tree waiting for Donn to move out of the way so he can jump on Vicki, “the first in line when he heard she was single. She seems super happy with him,”

What’s even more crazy but it doesn’t really surprise me one bit is, that Vicki and ex-husband Donn are still living in the same house. This is what she told Life & Style earlier this month: “We’re still living together” and , “We don’t know where each other are, ever. He’s always going to be in my life.”.

 Vicki also states that Donn doesn’t have anywhere to go since he don’t have a job and she let him stay in exchange for chores and car-washing her and Donn still have money shit tied up and haven’t completely split everything up yet.

 Alexis Bellino admits that she has a serious eating disorder and doesn’t allow herself to eat desert but instead pours salt on it and ruins it, so that way she doesn’t eat it. I love how these spoiled bitches love wasting food because they don’t want to gain weight. She states she is still struggling with this disorder and her weight now fluctuates between 118 and 122 pounds and she obsessively watches it. She tells Life & Style the eating disorder started when she was twelve years old and  it was due to her parents divorce:

“I just didn’t want to eat,” Alexis remembers when the problem first arose, being 12-years-old and shattered by her parents’ divorce. “Looking back, I think it was my way of controlling something at a time when everything else in my life was out of my control.”

Six years later, during her freshman year at the University of Missouri- Columbia, the disorder truly sank its claws into her. “I felt so heavy,” Alexis admits, saying she became bulimic, throwing up her food on a regular basis. It wasn’t until the collapse of her first marriage in 2002 that Alexis finally decided to get help and worked closely with a doctor to stop purging. In 2005, she married her second husband, Jim Bellino who “finally got me to stop counting calories,” Alexis tells Life & Style. “He loves my body. In fact, he says he likes me about 5 pounds heavier.”

“It’s not like I’m healed,” she says. “This haunts me.” A typical day’s meal plan for her is less than 900 calories. “Sweets are my weakness,” she says. “I’ll serve everyone else dessert, but I’ll pour salt and pepper all over mine so I don’t eat it.”

“I try not to let my weight consume me, but an eating disorder is a lifetime disease,” she tells Life & Style. “It cannot be cured, but it doesn’t have to be practiced. My goal is to reach other women — and let them know that they can conquer it.”

 That also must be the reason for her obsessive eighteen hour work-out days and not allowing herself to have a doughnut or even look at one! And that’s why she’s also jealous of Peggy because that bitch really looks dry and emaciated and that’s the look that Alexis wants to go for, but with her 20 pounds of lips and gigantic, porn, circus-tits that make her weight like eighty-five pounds  on the top half of her body alone, it’s kinda hard to achieve that.

Also Jimbo Bellino may not have a real business or job per say. But he seems to know the secrets of getting housing for free so that him and and Alexis can front ‘the lifestyle’ they can’t afford but are desperate to front, and they were able to get rid of those annoying house payments since their asses avoided paying their house note for like 3 years, by declaring bankruptcy and avoided 3 public auctions.

This is the secret to having money to blow on four Lamborghinis, designer clothes,  fake boobs,  jewelry and all kinds of expensive shit.  I bet they even avoid paying their cars and other items, since Tamra says that Jimbo always has different cars.  Very questionable. For all the details on how they avoided foreclosure read the article on Realstalker.com.

 But hey, I guess you gotta be crafty to front the good life when you don’t have the real money like the Beverly Hillbilly House Skanks. I bet that bitch Cuntmille Grammer would of not even thrown 2 turds in Jimbo Bellino’s direction because she would of known right away that he was a broke ass, fronter,  con-artist and not an A lister and Cuntmille got with a real A lister. Maybe Duck Lips AlexAss should of taken lessons from Cuntmille before settling down with that greasy, hairy, fat-fugly rude asswipe she calls a husband who happens to be going broke and he hates her already so if they divorce it doesn’t look like she would get much either.

Even though Lynne Curtains is living in the van down by the river and she is no longer on the show, she still needed to ask Tamra what’s up with her and Fernanda. Plus this may get her some camera time so she can hop back on the show and make some much needed dinero.

Lynne informs Tamra that Fernando has bragged about the make out session Tamra and Fernanda shared on Tamra’s birthday, while Tamra was still married to Simon. Lynne also tells Tamra that Fernando’s crazy lesbian ass was not only bragging to Lynne, but also to the community about the Tamra-Fernanda love affair.

When Lynne asks if Tamra is gay, Tamra straight up tells her NO I’M JUST A WHORE! Then she starts singing ‘Blame it on al al al al alcohol, blame it on al al al alcohol’.  But at least no “nipple tweaking.” occurred between her and Fernando, so that means Tamra is straight. But just a whore.

Tamra must now break up with Fernando. Tamra also mentions that ever since her and Eddie became an item Fernando acts weird then she  brags that Eddie told her that the reason why Fernando acts like a whinny bitch since her and Eddie got together is because Fernando is ‘in love’ with Tamra. But that statement may be more Tamra bragging about herself.

Peggy pounds on Alexis door and demands to speak and confront Alexis on the whole thing with Jimbo not being present at her dinner party and disrespecting her and blah, blah, bla. Methinks she wants to get the dirt on this bitches marital problems. AlexAssLips starts twitching because every-time Peggy is around, the bitch gets the jealousy crazies and starts getting argumentative and all competitive with Peggy.

Peggy asks Alexis why Jim wasn’t at the party, and she says that she doesn’t believe that whopper about  ’work’  keeping Jimbo from attending the party. Specially since that fool,  ‘never had a real job’ even when he and Peggy used to knock fugly boots together. Then, AlexAssLips can’t take the heat anymore and blabs out that Jimbo hates the other bitches and that’s why he didn’t want to attend this bullshit party.

Peggy bitches at AlexAss about how Jimbo is an asshole to Micah, and AlexAssLips orders Peggy to shut the fuck up because Jimbo has owned four Lamborghini’s.  And they all got repoed. But still even though all of Jimballs Lambs got repoed; AlexAssLip’s husband still has to be the Alpha male. And Jimbo has the pathetic and desperate Alpha male complex down to an art-form so is very easy for him to flip out on Micah like that.

After AlexAssLips brags, about how perfect and Christian her perfect family is, she starts whining about how she doesn’t have time for a social life. Why, with all her children and nannies, and the fashion designing skeam plus the 18 hours a day of workout plus ad the five hours of puke sessions that go along with that, the poor thing has no time for a social life.

Peggy sits there with her mouth wide open because she wants to punch that ho’ in the mouth. How come these people give off a weird vibe every time they are around each other? And it goes beyond the vibe of the two bitches being jealous of each other. Specially AlexAssLips who seems to show more jelaousy towards that bony ass corpse they propped from the coffin named Peggy.The vibe is definitely icky. Did they swapped partners? EEEWWWWW!!!!

Vicki still hates Donn and now she is more pissed at him for embarrassing her at the dinner party calling her a ‘bitch’ and acting a fool. But she’s always hated him. Donn tries to talk to her and she just ignores him while she fumbles around in the kitchen. Donn gets all sad and takes off to his new job washing cars on the corner of the street for five bucks a car. Ten for wax. Fifty for happy ending. Yep, he gives the best blowjobs and car-wash on that corner!

Next, the Drunken Beinge Winery Hoping Adventures, starting Vicki and her ignorant racist undertone comments made to the Puerto Rican Winery worker who makes the mistake of innocently asks the bitches if they are ready to ‘go to the dark side’. Meaning dark wine. However, Vicki has to turn it into a race comment telling Tamra that since the wine attendant is ‘brown’ Tamra is going to jump him because Tamra likes the ‘dark’ meat. The wine guy is clearly pissed and wants to punch Vicki in the face because the bitch is totally insensitive and oblivious or just doesn’t care about how offensive and racist this comment came out. Everyone else is embarrassed for her. But, stupid Vicki just keeps going making the room cringe. And nobody calls her out on her ignorance.

Peggy is also invited to tag along in this winery hoping expedition and she decides to stick her tongue so far up Vicki’s ass with her constant, pestering interrogations of Vicki’s crumbling marriage that she ends up pissing Vicki off. Vicki cries.

Slimey’s mom shows up at his house and demands of Gretchen food and wine chop, chop. And she also demands that Gretchen makes more money to support her loser son. Gretchen downs some wine and now that she is nice and drunk she bails out to avoid her possible future mother-in-law and drives off in her car to the market to get more wine. While drunk.

Slimey’s own mama tells him that everyone in America thinks  that he’s a loser and Gretchen’s little house bitch. Then, she tells him that it’s no wonder Gretchen’s parent’s don’t like his ass because he needs to get a job.  She also mocks him by asking him if he thinks Gretchen’s dad will hand  his stupid ass the family business. Finally, she hands him an application for McDonalds that she got from Eddie.

Next Tamra meets Fernanda for lunch and to break up with her. Tamra tells Fernando that the bathroom kiss meant nothing. Since kissing a girl for fun doesn’t count when you’re drunk. Then, Tamra tells Fernando to quit being in love with her and Fernando says Tamra was just a bootie-call anyways and not a good one after all.

AlexAssLips is doing a photo-shoot to peddle her awful dresses. She first has lunch with her Pee Wee Herman gay assistant Dylan and tries to talk him out of going to his college class that night because she believes in her tiny little pea brain that she is a better education since he is internshipping with her broke ass.

But, the smart assistant decides he is going to class because that bitch is broke anyways and he knows that she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing and that her so called fashion line will go down the toilet to join Sheree Whitfield’s line. After the wise assistant bails out, AlexAssLips is left to do her photo-shoot with Towel. Damn that bitch does look just like Octomom. Is that her?

AlexAssLips must be really holding  a lot of bottled up anger because of all the shit she has to put up with, from Jimballs. Since she constantly acts like an angry, jealous, controlling, competitive, shrew every-time she’s around certain females and Towel just like Peggy, seems to be one of them. AlexAssLips must be jealous of that other bitche’s huge-ass lips, that’s what it must be.

During the photo-shoot-out Alexis tries to control and direct the poses that Towel is doing when she doesn’t even know how to pose herself! I swear that bitch would not make it as a model they would fire her stupid ass she kept making these stupid faces like she was a blow up doll while  she was squatting taking a shit. She just looked stupid.

I hate to say it, but even stupid ass Kelly Bensimoron can model and do poses.  And she’s a moron! But stupid AlexsAssLips cannot even do that!  How sad, maybe she really needs her Master of Puppets Jimbo there or else she may really forget to how to breathe!

AlexAssLips failed attempts to control the photo shoot are foiled by her controlling husband Jimbo, who turns the photo-shoot into a cover for a porn flick. He even sets off the hotel smoke alarms by catching the carpet on fire with his cigars. (It wasn’t the smoke machine that set it off.)

AlexAssLips is not liking that shit, but she says she has to ‘listen’ and obey her fugly husband or else he may give her a black-eye to go with her fat lip. So AlexAssLips just bends over and takes it.

But that’s okay she will take it out later on Towel or Peggy or whoever the unfortunate bitch that happens to be in front of her is  at that time.

Meanwhile Gretchen has dragged house-bitch and Slave Slimey I mean Slade,  to Texas to peddle her fugly bitch bags. Gretchen is having fun detaching Slimey’s balls and playing catch with them and passing them around  all the other people in the studio where she is filming an infomercial. Gretchen calls Slimey her ‘roadie’ and her house-bitch etc. Then, she demands he curls her hair like he did that morning.

Slimey is still in denial and insist that Jo De La Rosa was the one who emasculated and bossed him around, not Gretchen. Yeaahh sure whatever you say buddy!

Peggy gets wind that AlexAssLips had a photo-shoot and so she decides to clean up her freshly embalmed corpse and does a photo-shoot in her good whore-lingerie. Who needs to pay their house note when you can have pictures of a dried up mummified skank that’s been up for 6 weeks straight tweeking on meth and it shows.

Peggy brags that most girls may have the looks but can’t pose for shit. She must have being directing that dig at Alexis. And Peggy is right, she should know, wasn’t she like a famous model that traveled the world and was in various music videos.

Wait what? She wasn’t? Yeah well even though she was just some unknown, wannabe model who was never told that some guy taking pictures of you in your underwear in a Easy 8 motel room so he can look at them later doesn’t count as modeling;  at least Peggy knows how to pose and in that gorgeous lingere and thinning, stringy, hair Peggy looks like an old 57 year old  crack-addict, hooker, with botched-surgery tits and no ass that just took her last hit of crack and the funeral parlor just got done embalming her and they’re getting ready to bury her all decked out  in her best lingerie.

On this episode Peggy and her husband Micah ended up throwing their own version of the dinner party from hell with the chef that Micah was scoffing and spitting food at. Since Bravo hooked it up and paid for it they had no choice, but accept this chef.

This dinner party should ofreally being titled ‘ The Foreclosure Dinner Party Featuring AlexAssLips and HerTable Pooping Shenanigans ‘ because it is my understanding that during this time the pretentious Tanous were getting the boot from the bank and losing their home and Alexis was freaking out because of her lack of Jimballs.

While Micah and Peggy get ready for their dinner party, they name drop a bunch of shit, from their watch brands, down to the fancy toilet paper they use to wipe Peggy’s no-ass, ass all this fronting just to make sure we heard them and to pretend they don’t have the U-Haul truck all packed and parked behind the house where the cameras can’t see it.

Peggy made sure she spare no cost when it came to her expensive party and lavish table she even had a singer for entertainment, and even after Bravo picked up some of the tab it was still expensive.

Peggy had stated before that they always throw a big lavish dinner party for all their friends. And from the looks of it a couple of these dinner parties must have cost the equivalent of their monthly house payment. Maybe if they would not be so caught up in showing off what they can’t afford, to their so called friends and would have just lived within their meager means and eaten top Ramen instead of fillet Mignon and driving an old Ford Fiesta instead of the secondhand Bentleys and Lamborghinis they can’t even afford, they would still have a nice house and not be living in a van, shitting in a can, down by the river with Lynne and Frank Curtains.

In this episode Tamra introduces her new man Eddie Munster, I mean Judge, to the skank platoon. Tamra and Eddie show up to Vicki’s so they can head out to Peggy’s. Tamra dresses like an 80 year old eccentric, senile, great-grandma with all those jewelries I bet she loses like 70 lbs when all those Mr. T rings and necklaces come off. After Tamra introduces Eddie. Vicki just stares and sniffs Eddie, then she stares at his teeth for a long time. Tamra says she is sizing him up.

Then all of them start talking shit about Slade Slimey and his child support 100k tab since this was splattered all over the Internet at the time of filming.

While Vicki is sitting there sniffing Eddies ass to make sure he passes her inspection and earns her seal of approval. Eddie decides to jump in the bitch gossip wagon and says he will pick up Slade an application at the Mcdonalds. Vicki then decides to give Eddie her seal of approval and everyone is happy.

When Vicki and Tamra arrive at the party and exit the limo, Tamra reminds Vicki to spread her sausage legs to show the ‘beef’ to the camera. Cochina!

As previously mentioned it was around this time that Slade Slimey was making headlines for being a dead beat dad to his children.  Including his little boy who is cancer stricken . So he hid out somewheres in jail playing someones wife and Gretchen shows up to Peggy’s party escorted by a rented gay for the evening.

Alexis also shows up with her gay assistant because Jimbo was pissed off that Bravo can’t magically edit him to look like he’s not an asshole. Why does AlexAssLips need an assistant for anyways? It’s not like she works. Plus the one nanny she has left, is the one that watches her kids. Is her assistant there to assist her to wipe her ass when Jimbo is not around to do so? WTF.

Peggy has a microphone and everything going on for this pachanga, so she introduces a talented lady singer from Phylli. As soon as the lady starts singing Tamra and Eddie are on the dance floor dry humping each other. Dipshit Gretchen is watching them all jealous because Tamra is now better off than her. Since she has a man that at least has a job at his dad’s law firm. Cleaning toilets.

After they all dance everyone plops down to eat. Gretchen’s rented gay-escort makes fun of Eddie, and asked where Tamra found Eddie. ‘Did she find him on 1-800-salsa’. Tamra gets all pissed off and gives them the look of death. Donn had a few bong rips and leans over to his side of the table to tell to tell the others he thinks Gretchen’s sucked-up, crack-head, face looks like that corpse from the Munsters.  They all have a good laugh.

Peggy is pissed that everyone is acting like they’re in 6th grade. The bantering continues, when Gretchen is asked why Slade is not there and she answers that he was with his kids. Donn busts up laughing because he knows the bitch is lying. Plus Donn can’t help it, he’s baked out of his mind so shit is 10 times funnier. Gretchen has this shocked look in her face because Donn laughs his ass off at her for being a liar. Tamra says that Slimey wants everyone to believe the bullshit story he is not attending the dinner party, is because his bitch-ass is at home plucking his ass hairs. That bitch is right.

Suddenly Alexis loses her shit when she realizes she is in the middle of the shark tank without her cult leader husband Jimbo to boss her around, she whines “I don’t know what to do or say!, Booohooo, hooo!”. YES THE BITCH REALLY SAID THAT!! She goes into crying hysterics the way a 5 year old kindergarten baby would the first day of school, like Tamra pointed out. Alexis whines and cries that without Jimbo there, she doesn’t know how to act what to do or say. WHY THE FUCK DOES SHE NEED HIM THERE TO PULL THE STRING!!?? So AlexAssLips decides to get up and go to the bathroom to lock herself in there and cry some more.

AlexAssLips also gives everyone contradicting bullshit reasons for Jimbo’s unexpected absence. But, on her camera interview she says he doesn’t want to film with those cackling bitches. Previously she also said he quit the show because the cameras only edit to show his true prick-self, they can’t perform magic to make him appear like a nice guy and not like the ‘Real Broke Angry Asshole Of Orange County’ that he is. So he quit. Now this bitch is saying he hates everyone and doesn’t want to film with them. Oookay then.

Vicki and Tamra think the real reason Alexis is so upset Jimbo is not there with her, and he didn’t want to film that day, is because him and Alexis had a fight. I agree with those skanks. Because the way Alexis was on her Droid text-messaging him desperately for forgiveness when she first got to the dinner party, plus the bitch looks all worried like she pissed off her meal ticket, then she constantly leaves the table to go to the restroom to cry and or text him. I can tell they not only had a fight he probably beat her ass too that day, it must of being some big ass, loud fight and the neighborhood heard it.  I bet.

While Alexis has gone to the shitter to cry and try to text Jimbo hoping he will forgive her because she made him punch her in the mouth earlier, all the other bitches are left sitting there wondering what really happened to Jimbo.

Coked out Micah tells Alexis’s gay-cort/assistant Dylan if he plays the ‘stunt double’ for Jimbo because he sure in fuck looks just like him. Dylan gets all mad because all the other dip-shits are now laughing at him specially Donn who’s got this real drunken, rowdy, laugh.

Gretchen goes to comfort Alexis and also to help her wipe her ass. Vicki, Tamra, Eddie and Donn are having fun, clowning of Slade Slimey and his dead beat shenanigans. Everyone at the table is all having fun and all that good shit except Alexi’s assistant who’s uncomfortable after getting clowned on.

Peggy and Micah turn to the Gunvalson’s to kiss some ass and bring up conversation about the Gunvalson’s being happily married a long time. The Tanouses, try to make it all nice like they are all happy crappy and shit, but like in five seconds Vicki starts arguing with Donn about him not wanting Vicki to have more children with him because Donn didn’t want children with her. Donn fires back at Vicki and calls her a ‘Bitch’. Vicki sits there all embarrassed and looking dumb.

During all this Donn and Vicki  barking at the table fun, Alexis returns to the table and continues lying about Jimbo’s reason to not be present.  First, she said his ass had to work, then he had a last minute client, after that it was that he had to stay home and Slimey was joining him so they can both pluck each other’s ass hairs. The last excuse according to Tamra’s verifications. But ya’ all know none of this shit is true, I agree with the fugly stepsisters about Jimbo NOT being there because his ass had clients or had to work or had an ass plucking session with Slimey.

After the fight with Jimballs he hooked up with the real Alexis Couture XXX Tranni and was ignoring AlexAssLips text messages.

Yep, he was over there with that tranni-ho’ while Alexis was left to fend for herself at that that horrible party with interrogator Peggy and the fugly stepsisters. Poor thing doesn’t know what to do or say without her cult-leader, psycho-ass, husband to pull the strings attached to her butthole and make her say and do the right things, which pretty much is whatever the hell he tells her to. Stupid bitch.

I don’t understand how Jimballs doesn’t want to be around the fugly stepsisters? He had no problem with that before, but now that the Tanouses joined this bitch-wreckage he doesn’t want to be around the mean girls ? How convenient. I bet him and Alexis get into fights over the fact that he dated that walking corpse Peggy because Alexis seems very jealous of her.

I bet Jimbo tauntes Alexis over Peggy to make her jealous and since Alexis is mentally handicapped her ass loses her shit and that’s the real reason I bet that ‘smelly dork’ doesn’t want to be there. Sorry for rambling on about that shit because I had to get that off my chest since that episode. Anyways after all that mess and AlexAssLips came back she then leaves again back to the bathroom to compose her self. This time Gretchen and the assistant Dylan follow her ass to make sure she doesn’t water-board herself in the toilet as punishment, because Jimbo is not there to do it.

While AlexAssLips is in the shitter crying Gretchen is in there catching her turds and feeding into that bitches bullshit. If you listen carefully Alexis is crying over a fight with Jimbo but I bet a lot of the conversation was edited out. But listen carefully just listen and you can tell its about a fight her and the ‘smelly dork’ had.

Gretchen is talking to Alexis about how those other bitches hate Alexis and talk shit about her and her ‘smelly dork’ husband. And how they are all jealous. YES,  jealous because Alexis married an old, scary looking, fat fugly man, who reeks of cigars and feet and who bosses AlexAssLips around like a dumb bitch for a few dollars that keep the rhino feeces injections coming, so she can end up looking like Mama Elsa in the end.

Tamra is bored of the drama between Vicki and Donn and so she decides it’s time for some other fun entertainment, so she drags Vicki to the bathroom to listen in on those bitches. Specially on AlexAssLips. Because it’s funny. Tamra puts her ear to the bathroom door and Vicki plops her ass down on a chair to play a poor look-out who jumps up and screams when Peggy surprises them while Tamra is listening with her ear to the door. Vicki was all AAWWW SHIT!! I THOUGHT IT WAS A WALKING CORPSE!!! Damn Peggy almost gave Vicki a heart attackt. Peggy’s pale ass corpse face would scare the shit out of anybody who is distracted at the moment.She looks like a zombie that would be running around moaning ‘METH, METH, MEAAATH!!’ You know, just dragging her skeletor legs around begging for meth scaring bitches and shit. There’s just something that looks wrong about that bitch.

Anyways after Peggy’s scary mug breaks up the listening party. Peggy gets in there and opens the bathroom door to tell Alexis to either go back and eat dinner like a normal person or get the fuck out. And AlexAssLips just sits there sobbing like  a ‘ 5 year old ‘ losing her shit. At this point Peggy is fed up with AssLips for shitting on the dinner party and just wants to toss her out Irish Tavern style. AlexAssLips decides she is gonna go back and join the table after she makes an ass out of herself by making a stupid asshole speech  ‘ATTENTION EVERYBODY, I AM SORRY I TOOK A SHIT ON THE DINNER TABLE AND FUCKED UP THIS FUGLY BITCHES DINNER PARTY, BUT GOD WILL FORGIVE ME… AND NOW SOME NAKED SORORITY BITCH DANCING!’.

And just like that, her mood switched just like the music did at that party and she was greasing a pole Gretchen brought from home in her Gretchen Rossi, Butt Fugly purse. And Alexis and Gretchen were both grinding on the pole and each other in their panties and making the gay assistants dry hump each other so they could watch. Peggy was standing there with a shocked, disgusted look on her sucked up meth-head face.  And Tamra, Eddie, Donn and Vicki all bailed out laughing at Peggy because, she is the one that has to scrape and hose down that crazy drunken bitch Alexis and her posey off the floor in the morning when it’s time to clean up and the bitch wakes up in a puddle of puke and pissed-drunk.

Vicki Gunvalson feels that the reason her and Donn divorced was because of the Real House Skanks Of OC Three Ring Circus and blames the show for 90% of the problems her and Donn now have.

She told CNN:“Six years ago when Donn and I started, we didn’t have 90 percent of the problems that we have now and I truly believe it is the show,”

Vicki believes that if she would have ignored her Attention Whore Personality Disorder impulses, she would still have a husband since no cameras would have being there filming the verbal bitch slaps on Donn, plus Vicki seems ready to trade Donn in. Vicki also blames her long work hours at her busy growing insurance business for her breakup because she has to work from 6am until midnight, to keep an eye on those young guys that work at her insurance company because God forbid they may steal the pens or something wrong like that. Plus if Vicki is not there to crack the whip and spank her employees when they get out of line who is going to do it?

“[W]e had a good foundation. We really felt like we could battle it and the reality was I got too busy for him. My business in itself – I have 400 agents and 12 employees and I’m at the office a lot because I was trying to film TV in there and then he felt deflated… the center of my universe was not my husband,”.

She added,”I didn’t have anything left for him and we grew distant. If I didn’t have the show I would have had more time for him. That’s the reality.”

Vicki also believes that reality TV can ruin marriages and destroy lives, but in the case of Tamra and Simon Barney Vicki feels reality TV wasn’t to blame. She believes  it’s totally different because Simon is just an asshole and that’s what did it:

“Look there’s gonna be divorces and there is gonna be deaths like when Lou Knickerbocker died. We didn’t expect that,”

Vicki also says that other bitches that join these reality shows better be prepared with the ugly that comes with it:

“[T]his is the reality and if you are throwing your life on a reality TV show, you have to be prepared for the consequences.”

Let’s just hope she means that last part.

Vicki and Alexis are supposedly finally ready to sit down and put down their differences. Supposedly. While they supposedly clear the air Alexis still bitches about Tamra bringing mace to her previous party . Then she starts yapping about how she is now a fashion designer extraordinaire, that will take over the world  with the ‘Alexis Couture’ line that she pulled out of ther ass the other day.   Then then bitch starts talking about how she is not ‘naive’ and she also works and blah, blah, blah. Vicki tries to pretend to be nice (I was surprised) and says to Alexis “Of course, not, you’re just young.”. Then stupid ass Alexis stick her foot in her mouth with a dumb comeback that only a stupid ho’ like her would say, about how she is not ‘young’ because she married a 48 year old ape who has a lot of life experience and he also pays her bills in exchange for smacking her around and keeping her in check.

You can tell Vicki wanted to monkey smack the stupid out of that ho’ too. I wonder if Alex-Ass-Lips even knows how stupid she sounds when she tries to pretend she knows something. Like when she sat there, trying to tell us  her definition of Couture: It’s like clothes that are umm rich?. Dumb bitch, didn’t she bother to look it up before she sat there yapping her ass lips? Maybe if she would of lookitup she would of found out that ‘ Alexis Couture’ is the name of a porn site like a reader on another blog pointed it out.

This episode showcased just how disgusting, obnoxious, vile, stupid and rude AssLips Bellino can be. Specially when she proceeds  to display her loving Christian behavior after blowing a fuse and cuts the sleeves off the Vegas casino hooker dress  that her ghost designer sowed. Bitch cuts that dress right in front of that poor horrified immigrant woman named Towel who sowed that shit by hand and candlelight all night. Then she took the  sleeves to the bathroom  and wiped her ass with them. (That bitche’s name is Towel? you mean like that stoned Towel on South Park?). Poor Towel was  enslaved by spoiled Alexis to make all the designs for her while Alex-Ass-Lips  sat there like the fake ass bitch she is, taking all the credit. Because ya’ all know that is exactly what happened.

And I know that poor Towel had to design and sow into the dress each piece of jewelry one, by one, by hand, on a time consuming mission and she was probably up all night too just so that  ass lips  throws a bitch fit and cuts that shit up then wipes her ass with it, with no consideration for this woman who sat there sowing this fugly ass dress  in order to pay for her giant sized lips.  Some bitches have to pay for their lips and AssLips Bellino just doesn’t give a shit since she just uses her giant lips to give that hairy monkey she married for money BJ’s to get what she wants including paying her butt lips. Oh wait, that’s right she doesn’t have pay for them, Jimbo punches her in the mouth daily when she gets out of line, thats why she gets those horse’s ass lips for free.

Now that Jimbo’s gravy train is drying up, Alexis thinks she’s gonna hawk these cheap ass dresses ala Sheree Whitfield that even a crack whore wouldn’t wear on a date behind the 711. Bitch better put her lips to practice because Jimbo’s boat is sinking and pretty soon there’s gonna be no mo’ money so this bitch better get her ass back to the motel to find the next suga-daddy that will pay for her ass lips and giant circus scary tits.

Jeana makes an appearance during this episode, when she stumbles and wonders looking like a homeless, crazy person, into some fashion show that Peggy and Tamra are gonna be on. Then she proceeds to plop down and talk to Tamra, (who is obviously avoiding her) and starts asking her questions that are none of her business, just so that she can go back and tell her buddy Simon.

All  the other housewives have participated in some sort of fashion show I guess it was these bitches turn to do it also. The fugly ass outfit that Tamra is wearing for the fashion show really brings out her  tubby ass, orange body. She looks like an Oompa Loompa church lady with scary, saggy, huge, circus-tits. It was horrible.

Speaking of scary circus tits Peggy gets to show her new tits off, during their model cat walk thingy, and we get to see the big ass scars and scary veins on her nasty ass balloon tits that make her look like a 60 year old dried up stripper with giant boobs. Those balloons  look so heavy and disproportionate on her anorexic, trailer park, meth-addict, shrively body that they look like they sag too.

Peggy had  her catwalk ‘pimp’ strut down, while slinging one arm like she had some muscle disease malfunction. Maybe when the doctor sowed the boobie together he pinched some nerve,  and it makes Peggy’s arm sling like that. Who knows. Bitch looks like a lizard with high heels on, who is trying to sling her arm and fly away like those flying lizards and shit.

Since  Tamra was invited to participate in the catwalk  for this episode, she decided to turn up the drama for the cameras, by pretending she’s scarreeedd to do the catwalk and she is shy . Bitch hides under the stage biting her nails and calling Eddy on the phone crying, that she can’t to the catwalk because she’s a shy little flower but Eddy reminds her to put her big girl pants on and pretend she’s back at the strip club.
Once she does her catwalk Tamra gets all into it, and forgets her shy act. Then she has a flashback when she used to dance the pole and remembers how much fun she had strutting her stuff.  Bitch even throws some gang signs from Eddie’s gang that she now joined called ’The OC Locos’. Eddie was proud of her.

Later on though, Eddie is gonna be kicking Peggy’s husbands Micah’s ass for being an ignoramus pendejo.

Apparently Micah and Peggy wanted to have a celebrity chef cook for them for some dinner party from hell they are throwing, and Bravo hooked up Susan Feniger, from Border Grill. Peggy is another Alexis because when she’s giving her camera interview, the bitch sure knows how to sound stupid she full on told us how her and Micah were so excited to have a celebrity chef that they didn’t realize the chef specializes in Mexican food.

Once the nice lady chef meets with these two turds, she brings out a parade of delicious Mexican dishes and Micah finds something wrong with all of them. Then he spits back each one in her face and yells I DONT WANT MEEXXICUUN FOOD, THATS FOR POOL PARTIES AND MEXICUUNNS, DO I LOOK MEXICUUN? BITCH I WANTS ME SOME FANCEEEY FRIED OREO COOKIES, JUST LIKE MOMMA MADE AT THE TRAILOR PARK  AND SOME STEAK MARINATED IN PEPSI AND BEER UHUMMM! Mmkay then… Cletus and Peggy (damn even her name sounds trailer parky I didn’t even have to change it to make fun of this bitch. No offense to other girls named Peggy) they must of  grown up at the fancy trailer park, where folks can afford hamburger meat and fried Oreo cookies this explains why he is a man of taste and since Cletus and Peggy are now fancy celebrities Cletus demanded the chef rearranges the menu for them to include fried Oreo cookies.

Here’s  a picture of Micah Cletus and Peggy when they were young and sexy.

Of course while Cletus kept throwing his bitch fit on the food that was being graciously presented to his ungrateful ass, Peggy  just sat there like a pendeja not saying anything but you could tell she felt dumb like she was gonna get yelled at later by her husband for letting Bravo pick this chef that he didn’t care for since Peggy doesn’t give a shit what food is being served as long as the chef is a ‘celebrity chef’ and she can impress her friends.

Vicki’s daughter Briana is going to Vegas with that poor girl Danielle that got sexually harassed by Vicki via spanking on TV in front of God and everybody. Before she leaves Vicki  has some nags to throw at Briana because Vicki feels that if Brianna goes to Vegas without Vicki chaperoning her, some shit may go wrong. Like for example Brianna may get roofied (like Tamra and Peggy did) or get a tattoo. NO NOT THAT!

While Briana is sitting there in Vicki’s kitchen getting lectured about going to Vegas her phone rings and it’s probably her boyfriend. The one that Brianna doesn’t want Vicki to meet. Vicki goes over to look at Briana’s phone to see who is calling her and Briana gets irritated because she doesn’t want her nosy ass mom to be up her ass like that. Vicki then starts questioning Briana if Briana’s boyfriend has tattoos, or a job or if he is a meth-head. And also Vicki warns Briana not to get tattoos while in Vegas. Because Vicki wouldn’t want her only daughter to  have fun partying and getting drunk , while bending over at a sleazy bar getting a tattoo. God forbid.

Of course when Brianna and Danielle get to Vegas Vicki is calling Brianna non-stop. And while in Vegas Briana and Danielle get shit faced and take some hookah rips . Unfortunately  they weren’t smoking anything fun or illegal that’s medically legal but they had a good time and they even got picked up on by 2 lesbians. Did they go to the lesbian bar?

After that awkward scene. That I don’t even know why Bravo showed it,the girls pretend to go to bed while the cameras where rolling. After the camera men fell asleep in the hallway of the hotel by the door, like Vicki payed them to, the 2 girls went out and had some real fun.

And speaking of lesbians, the moment we all been  waiting for and wondering about. Fernanda spills the beans, Fernanda spills the beans. Yes Fernanda spills the beans bitches, and you know what, I suspected the Fernanda/Tamra friendship too.

While at a work-out at some gym that Fernando and her ex-own,  ex-house skank Lynne Curtains is there stoned out of her mind like always, and working out with Fernando and Fernando’s ex who looks like she can kick Slade’s ass.

Meanwhile during casual conversation Fernando spills the beans that when Tamra was married to Simon she followed Fernando into the bathroom to molest her and for a make out session. And probly’ other shit too.  Fernando’s ex isn’t happy when she hears that  Jerry Springer shit those 2 bitches pulled. Fernando then, interrupts the work out session to storm off to the bathroom while Lynne stands there clueless and looking dumb like she did for the 2 seasons she was on this train wreckage. No one is happy except Tamra’s ex Simon who is laughing at all this shit.

Stupid ass Gretchen keeps complaining that Slade is a broke ass and wonders  when is he going to get her jewelry and cars and fancy shit like that ,  like she is accustomed to . The bitch also keeps wondering when he is gonna buy her diamonds for her birthday. Instead he takes her to an art studio and gives her a pair of fugly ass painter pants. Then he gets his artist friend to give Gretchen an unfinished painting of her from the first season she was on. But at least compared to Sonja’s fugly ass painting that made her look 80,  Gretchen’s painting just looked unfinished and cartoony. Slimey sticks the painting in the bathroom right in front of the toilet so that he can look at Gretchen while he takes a shit because that’s what he thinks about when he sees her.

That was it bitches . Sorry I haven’t been around lately to post but I been crazy busy at work plus I was moving my home computers around doing my spring cleaning last weekend and didn’t have access to them for a couple of days. I also got my new laptop which I am very excited about.