Hope lodge

LuAnn and Bethenny arrive at hope logde to start making dinner for the cancer patients. Which is a very good cause! Bethenny is still stoked about being on the cover of the Socialite Magazine and tells LuAnn about her good news. LuAnn gets all jealous and the first thing the Bitch asked Bethenny  was” Are they going to do touch ups?” . WTF? Then like a vicious old jealous hag that she is, she says under her breath “I hope so”. Bethenny cant believe this Bitch is saying this shit to her but feels this is nor the time or place to confront and Bitch slap the Countess with her own crown.

Ramona shows up and somehow she starts telling Bethenny that she is going to hook Bethenny up with some guy. Somehow the conversation turns into trying to give Bethenny dating advice to finally get her ass married and permanently laid!

The Countess tells Ramona that Ramonas advice is too slutty and will make Bethenny the reputation of a  2 dollar  hoochie. Ramona tells LuAnn , what the fuck do you know Bitch you married an old man twice your age when you where 20 and he was 47. LuAnn cant believe this commoner just Bitch smacked her, so she Bitch slaps her back. LuAnn’s lame comeback is that the Count is not twice her age , which is, a very weak comeback since it’s obvious with his full set of gray hair that he is eligible for AARP.This is where LuAnn goes ghetto-ape shit on Ramona.

Ramona tells LuAnn that Mario (Ramonas husband) is a young looking hunk and he looks better than Count Grandpackula. LuAnn fires back at Ramona by telling her that Mario is not that hot and is looking haggard, even thought LuAne is always trying to grab his ass by “accident”.

LuAnn tells Ramona that the Count is only 15 years LuAnn’s senior. Ramona says to her Uh yeah old fart! So wait a minute? that means that if he is 67 LuAnn is 52? So I guess Ramona was just complementing LuAnn by saying the Count is twice her age she was telling LuAnn that she is younger like 46 . And this is a Bitch who is supposedly writing a book on manners and etiquette that dont know how to take a complement! LuAnn storms off with Bethenny cursing and bitching and later on says that Ramona is lucky that she didn’t kick her ass out because she ruined LuAnn’s night. Wow! I didn’t know the Countess had cancer!

LuAnn comes back inside the Lodge and tells Ramona that she insulted her in front of her daughter, Victoria, whom I am sure has heard from kids at school thousands of times, how they think her dad is an old fart.

Ramona apologizes just to shut LuAnn up, but doesn’t mean it. Everything goes back to sort of normal. Jill shows up late for the drama and is pissed she missed the catfight because that is what Jill lives for according to Bethenny.

Silex

I dont know why they showed a clip of Silex going to St. Barts while their ghetto shack is being renovated. And their kids were screaming like always.Silex pack with some empty suitcases that will come back full of $20,000.00 worth of fugly clothes that they don’t need.

Bethenny and LuAnne

Bethenny takes LuAnn to some restaurant to confront her on her little fucked up comment over Bethenny needing touch ups. LuAnn denies being a vicious Cuntess instead of apologizing. Bethenny pounds on LuAnn about how this comment pissed her off. LuAnn says that Bethenny was like a dog with a bone and wouldn’t let go. But hello! wasnt LuAnn harping on Ramona over telling her the truth that LuAnn marry uncle Moses. LuAnn tries to brush all that off by telling Bethenny she is overly sensitive and never really apologizes for being a royal Cunt.

Social Life Magazine party

Finally everyone minus Silex are at the Social Life Magazine party. As soon as the party starts LuAnn is confronted by a drunken Devora who is obviously already shit faced , notice how the fucking cameraman had to move the microphone away from Devora’s hand when she almost jammed it in LuAnn’s nostril?

Devora goes on to say to LuAnn that she heard about the little “air brushing scandal”. LuAnn gets all pissed and looks like she is about to punch on that duck lipped Biatch. Devora senses it and has this look in her face like “aw, shit!” Devora looked scared like she was about to run but bravely stayed there to continue with her bantering questions to set LuAnn off like a rocket despite the fact that LuAnn’s amazonian huge ass could tear her a new asshole. Devora has gotten her ass kicked by better celebrities than LuAnn could ever dream to be, so this may be the reason for her bravery .

Ramona is left wondering by herself again, Mario must of gotten distracted by some younger blonde. Suddenly the acid along with the Xanas and the 7 drinks start to really kick in and Ramona starts dancing to the beat of her own war drums in her head. I don’t even think there was music playing. That Bitch was just wondering around dancing by herself and she needed a bra . That was just wrong!

Everybody is at the party asking for Bethenny because it is Bethennys night.

LuAnn shows up says hello to everybody including Bethenny and leaves abruptly giving a lame excuse. Everyone realizes that LuAnn is jealous because Bethenny is a Princess but LuAnn is just a Countess. Ouch!

That’s it!