Episodes 12 and 13 of this train wreckage!

I guess it was Raquel that got served the eviction notice contrary to what I posted on my last recap. So Raquel opens the door and a man is standing outside and slaps her in the face with an eviction notice.

Princess Raquel is horrified that she is being served an eviction notice and doesn’t understand why so she calls her mom Lynne on the phone and proceeds to curse and yell at her moma Lynne, about what the fuck is going on.

Lynne and her 2 spoiled daughters are horrified that they’re ass is getting eviction notice in front of the cameras they are just horrified because now the jig is up and we all know they’re not rich folk like they said they were.

They gotten their asses evicted before, many times, but Lynne is more horrified about the fact that this time the Bravo cameras were around to capture the whole embarrassing event and now we all know her and her family are not rich but rather a circus wagon of con artist that move from rented beach house to rented beach house pretending their rich and blowing all their money on expensive fucking shit like wild ass shopping sprees, expensive luxury cars and plastic surgery and getting evicted each time they move around because they don’t pay their rent or any important shit like electricity, groceries and other necessities.

Instead they sneak to the neighbors when the neighbors are at work and hook up Franks construction orange extension cable to get electricity. Genius!

This fucking show is just become depressing these bitches cannot even pretend to be rich no more. They are all supposed to live this fabulous life we are all supposed to envy and now we all see it was all bullshit. Damn people that read this blog have more money than some of these fake ho’s! Hilarious!

Alexa is hiding under the blanket because she has no make up on and is also embarrassed, that they finally got caught on camera getting evicted. Lynne is the one who is most pissed she says this is the worst thing that could ever happen to them and she feels guilty as hell that she didn’t get the eviction notice and blah blah blah. Yeah right! These people get evicted every 6 months out of beach houses all over the OC except this time the cameras where there to capture the whole eviction ordeal in all it’s fatal glory in front of God and the whole nation.

Did ya’ all notice how when she was saying ‘I felt guilty as hell that I did not receive the… eviction notice…, I wish that I would of received it not my 2 daughters!’ her face was staying still, frozen like a wax figure. You cannot even tell with this Bitch if she is pissed or not.

 Then the big confrontation takes place, and Lynne meets Frank at some park . Which is where they all camp out at, later that night. Lynne confronts Frank on their eviction issues and Frank admits to her that he fucked up and didn’t pay the security deposit of 10k. I guess Lynne has been used to having hubbie handle the finances while she lives in a world of smoky haze shopping and wine and don’t forget plastic surgery and spend spend spend.

Lynne admits she lets hubbie handle the finances while she just sits and looks pretty and they have a pattern of living beyond their means.But she just admits it but is not willing to do anything about it or fix it! She just blames Frank. Remember when she came on to the RHOC show how she was all bragging about being a spoiled wife and that she was spoiled enough to get anything she wants and they own their beach house.

Yes, Frank fucked up and lied and told her there was no deposit on the house but Lynne doesn’t see that she just spends and spends and doesn’t help out. She keeps on interrupting Frank while he tries to explain to her why their getting their asses evicted and he finally gets tired of her and tells her to shut it.

Frank tells Lynne that they been living beyond their means for a while and that’s why they are sinking in this quick sand whole of shit their in. Frank admits he allowed the family to live beyond their means and got in over his head because he wanted to allow his spoiled princesses to live the good life that they were accustomed to but never could really afford.

Instead of going on wild shopping sprees and spending on 2k worth of clothes and bullshit they should of been buying their clothes at the salvation army and saving their money to pay rent.Lynne starts bitching to Frank about keeping things from her and tells him he treats her like she is stupid and can’t handle the truth.

 Frank tells her that, is the reason he keeps things from her because she’s stupid and can’t handle the truth and that she lives in a ‘microcosm’ of bullshit that is not even real! NO SHIT! Someone had to finally tell this ho’. But Frank, also enables her spending behavior so he is just as pathetic. I agree you gotta fake it till you make it but this ho’ is not even trying to make it.

Take some responsibility for your wild shopping sprees ho’. Frank tells Lynne he wouldn’t have to lie to her if she could handle the truth and did not make demands to live in high price neighborhoods. No shit Sherlock! This ho’ should of being getting a job and the money from the housewives show where is that at? Why aren’t the 2 brats working at Starbucks?

If they all had a job and Lynne was not spending money pretending she is rich this shit would of never happen.Lynne keeps trying to talk over Frank and he tells her to quit cutting him off and listen and that they need to quit their wild spending. Stupid Lynne says that she finally made money from her cuffs of whore business and that the money is going to all these expenses, what? blowing money on shopping sprees and bullshit?.

Then Lynne says ‘ I don’t think I can get over it!’ then she says ‘I’m over it!’ What? Make up your mind Bitch! Which one is it? You are over it? Or you’re not? What the fuck! Did ya’ all see when she walks away her tight size “0″ jeans are too tight for her size 12 butt, and she walks all stupid like she’s holding her farts in, and the high heels are uncomfortable as hell as she walks away walking all retarded she says ‘I’m so sick of this shit sick of it’. What a stupid bimbo!

Lynne cries and can’t move her face is like a wax figure she has to tell everybody how she feels because we cant tell she is crying or happy.

Then we see a tender moment between Hurricane Vicki and her daughter Brianna who is worried about some lumps she has in her neck that may be cancerous. That’s some fucked up shit. Poor thing. Vicki says she has to work on Brianna’s next appointment. Bitch better go that appoitment! I hope to God Brianna is well.

After the whole eviction fiasco. Lynne and the 2 daughters went over to gram-grams house and when gram-gram heard Lynne’s voice outside her door she pretended she wasn’t home, so Lynne and the 2 brats had to go to the OC homeless mission where Lynne hooked up with a hobo. Frank slept in his car. I remember when I wrote about the Lynne Curtin eviction fiascoes!

After getting evicted and having money and rent problems what does Lynne do to resolve the problem? She left her 2 daughters at the homeless shelter and took off to the San Francisco girls getaway and spend money on a 2k jacket . Stupid Bitch. And she wonders why they can’t afford rent. First she is all upset with her huusband because he’s wallet dried up and he can’t provide her with the easy ho’ life anymore then she tells the other ho’s that she got paid from her sale of her cuffs of whore and she is blowing all the money on a jacket that cost 2 grand.

Instead of using that 2 grand to get an apartment or pay her damn rent and help her husband out she selfishly buys an ugly ass jacket that is way overpriced. Bitch needs to take some lessons in financing but her 2 braincells don’t function anymore. Instead of taking the financial seminar with Vicki she needs to get slapped for being so stupid.That Bitch is depressing. Bitch went and told Tamra that they got evicted and shit .

Tamra was laughing at Lynne until she remembered she is getting the boot from her house too. The next encarnacion of the housewives is gonna be called trailer trash ho’s . Tamra tries to advice Lynne to not get a divorce little does she know she is going to be going through the same shit soon.

Gretchen and Alexis had lunch and ordered a Skinny Girl Margarita and pissed off the waitress acting like stupid Bitches. I bet their food gets spit on a lot specially Alexis. Alexis is so christian she always has booze with her lunch. She starts drinking at 11am.

I am surprised that Jimbo let his ho’ go to San Francisco by herself he says he has a lot of meetings that are unavoidable and he must stay behind to take care of such meetings. What that really means is that he must of find a hot date on Craigslist in the adult casual encounters section and couldn’t miss it. He probably took his date back to his flea motel. Bitch says that her and her husband have up to this point never traveled alone. Now that she has the Bravo cameras wrecking her already wrecked life this is not going to be the only thing that they are going to be doing alone.

However once that stupid ho’ is in San Francisco with the other ho’s her needy husband constantly calls her to make sure she ain’t fucking around with nobody. Of course he called her once he was done getting his BJ from the tranny he hooked up with on Craigslist.

Crazy ass Vicki says that Alexis is self centered and wants all eyes on her. But then again all this ho’s are self centered and want all eyes on their bloated egotistical asses.

They all go to some expensive high class restaurant where they don’t know how to behave. That stupid Alexis wanted to taste what Gretchen was having and after she tasted it she hurls into the napkin. This is a 200 dollars a meal restaurant and the 2 dollar whore doesn’t like the food because she doesn’t understand it. It’s not Mickey D’s that’s why.

Fucking Hurricane Vicki says to the other ho’s not to put their purse on the floor because it’s bad luck the money goes away. I always say that too how funny. Stupid Vicki you’re a genius! Bitch!

The rest of the evening was all about Alexis puking and when she wasn’t puking or shitting under the table, because she did that too , she took like 47 phone calls from her lord and master Jimbo while he bossed her around and questioned what she was doing. Alexis was all nervous on the phone with Jimbo while he interrogated her, Jimbo : ‘what are you doing Bitch? Is there another man there?’ Alexis: ‘nothing we’re just having dinner’ . See all nervous. He even called her when he was taking a shit in his car to tell her about that. What a weirdoe!

All the Bitches were getting annoyed with Jimbo calling that ho’ like 50 times! Not just Vicki. Lynne was rolling up her eyes Tamra was getting all pissed making comments. So I don’t understand why she jumped on Hurricane Vicki for getting on her for that. Hurricane Vicki should of gone Hurricane on that Bitches ass and flipped a table at her. Someone needs to smack Alexis and I don’t mean Jimbo because he does that already I mean one of these ho’s needs to slap her!

Vicki brought Brianna with her as a shield hoping that if she brings her kid those Bitches are going to have some respect for her since she has her kid with her but of course she should of known better that those Bitches have no respect for nobody not even for a poor girl who may be having cancer.

So the biggest cunt of them all that goes by the name of Alexis who has been speaking to her lord and master Jimbo the whole time on the phone time being rude and obnoxious gets all pissed off at Vicki because she is later on during their next meal taking business calls and starts shit with her being a disrespectful aggressive beotch.

 Alexis takes the cake as the most ridiculous cunt that ever appear on the RHOC with her self righteous I’m holier than thou hypocritical attitude when we all know she is nothing but a 2 dollar whore. Vicki calls Alexis ‘classless trash’. No shit Vickster, don’t forget ‘trashbox’like NeNe would say.

‘How many flavors of disfuntion can you taste in this lunch?! ‘The Bullshit Continues/ Episode 13

The next episode continued with that bullshit ass lunch where that classless ‘trashbox’by the name of Alexis, continued her hostile tirade against Hurricane Vicki. She kept looking at Vicki while Vicki took her business calls with an angry evil look like she was gonna kill the other Bitch she would take a sip of her glass and stare all evil. You can see the evil through her even that trashbox ho’ Danielle Staub aka Joker face doesn’t even reach the level of evil and creepinest that Alexis has in her. But I guess when you sleep with a ruthless evil loser like Jimbo something must rub off.

I never thought I see such and angry trannie Alexis is a very angry, unhappy, hateful, hostile cunt you can see it through her face this Bitch is not happy here she says that no one is going to disrespect her and talk down to her but what about Jimbo? He talks down to her all day.  Why don’t she stand up to him and use some of that misplaced anger on him?

And there you have it Bitches! With the women she wants to be the center top queen the Alpha Female and will tear up the other Bitches at all cost but with Jimbo she wimpers and is obedient because he tells her she don’t know what the fuck ’surf and turf ‘ is. 

All this misplaced anger Alexis presents is to compensate for the lack of respect she gets from Jimbo and the fact that she has no control in that fucked up marriage . And since Alexis can’t tell Jimbo off because if she does he beats her ass she goes out and gets into fights with females it all makes perfect sense!

Damn this Bitch may even be more dysfunctional and fucked up in the head than  Kelly Bensimon The Beast, who appears normal next to her. Even miss‘who gonna check me booh?’ Sheree Whitfield is more normal than this ho’. Damn! I knew church people that use religion to hide their fuck ups are more fucked up than non-church folk. No wonder I don’t go to church.

Hurricane Vicki is a pain in the fucking ass and she is crazy and everybody already knows that but instead of just smacking her on the nose with a newspaper like everybody usually does Alexis decided she was going to use her powers of manipulation to gang jump Vicki and got all the other Bitches to jump Hurricane Vicki while they all beat her ass in front of Brianna.

Tamra was easy to persuade into jumping the lets kick Vicki’s ass bandwagon because the Bitch just jumps on the winning team and when she sees people ganging up on one Bitch she jumps in and joins them, like a monkey, even thought she used to say Vicki was her friend. Of course later on Tamra completely lies to Vicki’s face and says she stood up for her, blah, blah. Don’t these Bitches remember everything is on camera?

 Gretchen jumped in the bandwagon because she gets violent when she is on meth and she hates Vicki anyways, because Vicki always hated her. And Lynne is so stupid she don’t know what’s going on so she just goes to the bathroom. Pendeja!

Out of all these ridiculous ho’s I agree with Brianna that she is the only grown up woman and she is only 23 all these Bitches need to grow the fuck up. Specially Alexis!. And I also agree with Brianna about not hanging around imature Bitches. Too much drama.

Vicki ran away crying after she got her ass beat and then poor little Brianna had to stay and smack those Bitches around. I wish she would of pulled an Ashley and pulled Alexis weave off. I am sure the bitch is bald like an eagle under that blond fake hair.

When Gretchen is talking you can see all the meth sores in her mouth and her eyes are all sunken. Gross!

After Alexis got all the other ho’s to beat Vicki’s ass she decided to turn up the dysfunctional a little more and force everyone to pray together making her the peacemaker. She needs to make sure she uses her powers of manipulation for evil . She did a fake ass long winded prayer that went on an on and she din’t even make sense. Stupid sick bitch she din’t mean a thing on that prayer. Of course!

Vicki says that this twat‘is a hypocrite period’ Bitch hypocrite doesn’t even begin to describe what this ho’ is.

Yep because only a low budget gutter ho’ with a loser pawn shark creepy husband would have their pastor and his wife over for breakfast so that they can asks the pastor and his wife what do they think of Alexis porn size scary teeties. Yeap, did ya’ all see the horrified what the fuck? look on that lady’s (the pastors wife) face . She looked at Jimbo like he was telling her that he pees in the holy water sometimes. Priceless. It was indeed an awkward moment.

Then the pastor dude, tries to smooth shit out by saying Alexis can use her big circus teeties to help people come to Jesus. I bet those people know the Bellinos are a joke and wanted to say something else but they refrained themselves from telling that 2 dollar church whore and her creepy hussbaand the truth because they want to be on TV to promote their church. And it backfired on them! See, people like the Bellinos is the reason why I refuse to be a part of any organized church conundrum. That, and the fact I was told Vampires can explode if they enter a church and I haven’t been to one since then, I don’t want to find out.

 Gretchen’s parents hate Slade. It’s just that the dad is better at hidding it than the mom. Gretchens dad steps on some Slimey and has to wipe his shoes in the grass. Gretchen gets drunk off her ass and starts slurring some shit about how everyone should be for lease. Gretchen says that she is going to put Slimey on a lease because she may want to trade him in for a new model with more mileage but more money. Slimey gets all butt hurt. Gretchen’s mom tells Gretchen to shut the fuck up because she is making an ass of herself but drunken ass Gretchen just keeps going sticking her whole foot and leg into her mouth.

That’s it Bitches! Peace!