Ramona walked in with a stick up her ass!

Following the last episode when Kelly and Bethenny went at it, we see Jill and the rest of the Bitches getting ready for their charity thingy their having. Ramona shows up late and makes some lame excuse for being late, even thought she is just a couple blocks away.Ginger starts barking and biting at Ramona and Ramona steps on Ginger, I don’t know if Ginger survived.  Jill is stressing out because just like she reported in the last episode that Ramona will smack her around if she doesn’t have an IV of Pinot Griorio ready for that Bitch, and of course Ramona demands a wine first,  then she  gets pissed because Jill didn’t have her wine ready she wanted it, just like Jill said!

Their committee hasn’t even sold enough tickets to break even and their stressing out big time. Ramona starts arguing with Jill about the step and repeat sign, for those of you bitches that are sitting there wondering what the fuck a step and repeat sign is, it is the background signage they use when people show up to events and take their pictures. Like this picture below:

Ramona tells Jill not to place any signage with Zarin fabrics because promoting her business in a charity is tacky! Ramona is always coked out she needs to drink more wine to balance that shit out. Ramona then tells Jill that its tacky to promote her own business and it is very de classe and then Ramona tells Jill she is going to drag her by the hair and take her to The Social Register Jill laughs at Ramona because Jill knows that Ramona is fucking high because she took her Ramona pills earlier and their kicking right about now, and asks Ramona “Just tell me where where The Social Register is?”and Ramona tells Jill that The Social Register is “tacky”, then she just keeps saying “it’s tacky, it’s tacky!”.

Next Alex walks in surprisingly without Simon. Alex announces to the other Bitches, with a creepy smile she hasn’t sold any tickets for that shing-dig they got going on.The other Bitches gang kick her ass because she hasn’t sold any tickets at all for the charity. Ramona says that this is the reason she hates that bitch, she says that her and Simon just show up to eat all the food drink all the booze, smoke all their weed and be photographed to be part of the elite crowd but they never contribute anything. Jill says that Alex didn’t do anything to help out and she is gonna punch her!

Next the Count and Luann arrive at NASDAQ to ring the opening bell but it is really so that the Count can check out the younger potential hot ass working at that event. Since he is leaving LuAnn and marrying another woman he is going to need a new mistress to cheat on the other wife with. Maybe Gretchen should go work there!

Next:

WHY THE FUCK DID THEY DO THIS?

Why did they try to have Jill talking to Ally about “the talk”. Yes, people “the talk” either “the sex talk”or “the drug talk”, pick Ally. Jill threatens Ally with “the pee on a stick test” to check if Ally is getting hammered!

No noo! that was wrong No wonder Ally couldn’t do it, who wants to be 16 and having your mom trying to have “the talk” with you in front of a creepy, stranger, pervy camera man. Please don’t do that anymore!

I love  Jill and Ally but just don’t film that shit not more! TMI!

Rossie gets cooking lessons!

LuAnn has arranged for Bethenny to teach Rossie how to cook some special meals. Of course LuAnn got all dressed up and high heeled to the toe, she keeps getting in the way of Rossie and Bethenny. Bethenny tells LuAnn to leave the cooking to the Domestic Goddesses and that LuAnns job is to sit in the corner and look pretty.

Bethenny is curious about Rossi’s love life and asks her if she has a boyfriend. Rossie tells Bethenny that she does have a boyfriend and four kids also. Bethenny is impressed!. LuAnn confesses that Rossie goes out on more dates than the Countess.  Woah! Was this before she knew about the Count cheating or after?

They have fun while crazy Bethenny drills Rossie about her love life and they also prepare a yummy meal. After all that they all sit together to eat while having wine and LuAnn says “lets get back to Rossie’s boyfriend”. Bethenny says she is gonna asks Joey and Frankie for advice next.

Next Kelly is hanging around Jill again and their in a limo on their way to collect more donations, Kelly farted and asks the driver to crack open the window. Jill dragged Kelly to see Jerry the crazy dog lady who runs a jewelry store. Woah! that lady looks just like my mother in law if you just put a blonde wig on her. (Except my mother in law was Irish, God rest her soul).  And just like my mother in law is super eccentric. She pulls a talking cuddly pug out from behind the counter and  tells it to say I love you. The dog says “I love youuuuu”, in a dog voice; and the crazy dog lady says she is going to kidnap Kelly and turn gay with her or some shit, then she pulls out more pugs from under the counter and tells Jill she feeds them whatever they want, like cheese omelets. Then the dog lady let the dog fart an omelet fart on Kelly’s face!

LuAnn is teaching Bethenny how to walk the runway like a real pro Ho for the Moroccan fashion show that Bethenny will be hosting.LuAnn keeps on clowning on Bethenny and laughin at her because she cant learn to walk “The walk”. LuAnn says that she has being around the apple a few thousand times and she definitelly knows how to walk the walk.

Bethenny is getting ready for the Moroccan fashion show and confesses she is nervous. Bethenny finds out at the last minute she is the MC for the fashion show and has to learn to pronounce all these Moroccan names like Aladin Princess and that type of thing.

Everyone is coming except Kelly because she is a Bitch!

Anyways, Silex is the first one to show up and Alex looks like she weights 85 pounds wearing that dress, or she probably really weights 85 pounds.

Jill showed up wearing a gorgeous gown that Brad found while shopping at the Phyllis Diller yard sale. Ramona was drunk already and the Countess was Countless, of course!

Bethenny is wearing a gorgeous gown!

The show begins and right after Bethenny is introduced it becomes Bethennys comedy hour! Bethenny asks “where is my prince? ” and” I want to be the only bride I don’t share!”At first everyone is all laughing nervously and kinda of like not sure if they should laugh and as she kept going everone was more relaxed! I LOVE THAT BITCH! I cant talk shit about her because I would of done the same shit too! As a matter of fact I’ve done that, so there!

The models come out and the dresses  look like they where made out of quilts someone found in an attic. Jill lies and says that these clothes are awesome and she would like to wear them she don’t know where but she will like to wear them. I think she should wear that black and red corset looking thing to go on a cruise to dinner! I am sure  that  Simon will end up buying  one of those horrid gowns  that cost like 16,000.00  to dress Alex up.

The only one wearing the prettier gowns is Bethenny all the other people look like watching clowns while having a bad acid trip!

Next is the Big Charity Event!

Jill is rushing to the charity event and says that she hasn’t slept all night and so she is gonna be tripping and hallucinating! Jill is yelling at everyone specially Ramona who is just standing around. Ramona decides she wants her wine and finds out that Bethennys signage is all over the bar area, Ramona goes and tells Jill and Jill goes ape shit and this is were the bullshit starts with Jill getting pissed at Bethenny. Ramona continues squawking about Bethenny and the signage and gets Jill all pissed off Jill says that she is pissed that Bethenny is using all that wall space to promote her business and during the meeting didn’t mention this was happening.

Andrea the President of Elegant affairs warns Ramona to be ready for later because she will get her ass kicked by Bethenny for stirring up this shit with a spoon. Ramona is all “it is what it is!” because she is high right now. Andrea tells both Jill and Ramona that she will tell Bethenny because now, she is the one that wants to stir the pot of shit soup! Jill was like fuck Bethenny she can leave if she dont like it! Ramona looks like a crazy cat lady with her hair all up in a bow on top of her head all crazy and that fucking coat with no make up on! SHE LOOKED CRAZY AND LIKE SHE STANK!

Kelly showed up with that horrendous dress that shows her dick, damn that was disgusting! Then the bitch starts talking shit about herself by saying “I’m so rich, I’m so fabulous, ” and I’m so full of shit or some shit like that. She does mention that Jill keeps it real, which that is the only thing I can agree with coming from that crazy Bitch! Surprisingly the Count was there with the Countess being Counts doing Countie shit that Counts do; of course the Countess had to remind the Count to “look at the man taking the picture my love!” and not at some young hottie that was standing there at the shindig. There you have it I guess that’s what Counts do.

Kelly is tripping on Simon’s get up for the evening, and says that he is a “young girl in fashion, that just cant get enough” she also says he needs to come out of the closet. Simon is wearing his rocky horror picture show bright red pleader 80’s glam rocker shinny chaps with no  ass because he likes “to be flamboyant” and “make a scene” and also because he going to the The Happy Man Hole bar in Brooklyn after the party to pick a hot dude. Alex knows;she is cool with it.

Ramona is drunk of her ass already of course, and harrasing innocent bystanders. Andrea tells Bethenny about the bullshit with Jill and Ramona earlier, and how they took down some of the signage. Bethenny was like WTFUCK  the liquor company is providing all this hooch for the event and Jill is tripping on this bullshit, what Bethenny and Jill fail to realize is that coked out Ramona set them Bitches up to fight with each other by egging this on and getting Jill all worked up against Bethenny and it was all for Ramona’s amusement. Now Ramona’s attitude is different saying that the argument about the signage is  not important in the end  but what is really important is  how many people showed up to the hooch for charity festival; what a crazy Bitch! Bethenny was pissed that Jill would talk shit to Ramona behind Bethennys back and decided to go and talk to Jill at once.

Bethenny then confronts Jill  and asks her to talk to her for 5 minutes,  Jill was like,  No you’re not going to ruin my night, Bitch. Bethenny just wont give up and Jill was about to go give her big speech and was telling Bethenny to pretty much just leave her aloooone! Bethenny then demands an apology from Jill and Jill just gets tired of Bethenny being so insistent and tells Bethenny to leave! Bethenny coul not believe that shit and neither could I.Ramona was laughin in back of course, damn! that Bitch is evil.

Next Bethenny doesn’t leave, and that whole fight should of never ever happened. Jill should NEVER EVER EVER EVER, listen to Ramona when she is coked out of her skull on advice on ANYTHING! That bitch cannot even keep her brand name for that ass cream,that she is peddling, straight! Bethenny tried to help her with that one and of course coked out Ramona was acting like she knew it all, and would not listen. Bethenny then strangles Ramona who is standing there acting like I didnt do anything wrong, what are you girls fighting about? Then she  just lets Bethenny kick her ass, which she deserved.

Jill goes ape shit and needs her speech and also her magic brownies of happiness so that she can deal with facing the crowd, since she don’t drink an all, and so Bethenny comes over and hooks that shit up everything is peachy again and Bethenny and Jill make up.

Ally  goes up and gives her speech. Allyson is awesome at her speech because that’s who she is and Jill is proud. Next Jill goes up does her speech and introduces some guy who is the auctioneer for the event,  and at first no one is bidding but then Jill flashes the crowd and so it all works out in the end and they get some bidders.

Next Jill gives out some awards she first calls LuAnn! LuAnn not Countess! I wonder if that was because she was getting the boot from the Count already. Jill gives all the Bitches an award but Kelly, who is getting pissed! But then Jill was like SIKE! and at the end gave her an award I don’t know why, because the bitch didn’t do anything but gave a fake gift that didn’t really exist!

The night ends with Ramona who dropped some E and that mixed with the booze got her all fucked up! She goes up to Simon who is all decked out in his shiny bright red pleader assless- chaps with those pointy ass elf shoes that he has on; and she starts making fun of him calling him  tu tu fu fu or some shit Simon sees this as an opportunity to sing to Ramona to seduce her into becoming a vampire, they end up dancing together Ramona is all twirling and Simon was doing the Vegas showgirl kicks with his huge ass patas, everyone is surprised that these 2 dipshits are dancing together  and they cant believe that shit, I could not believe that shit either I think that Bitch just has a secret crush on Simon . Mario is jealous so he ends up hooking up with Alex. Simon ends up grabbing Ramona from behind and bites her in the neck. FIN